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- Herausgeber: novum publishing
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
Everything could have been so beautiful... a loving and cheerful family. But then the mother goes to the doctor and the moment comes that changes everything: Diagnosis: lung cancer. What should happen now? Many things need to be clarified, from the type of therapy to the options for care if the condition deteriorates. But what is unclear is how to deal with such a situation. How do you cope with the fact that a humorous, fun-loving woman who is very close to you is suffering from ever-increasing pain, right up to the moment when she is hooked up to an oxygen machine, even in her own home?
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Seitenzahl: 58
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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foreword
Beyond right and wrong there lies a place, there we meet – Mama
There are currently 4.8 million family caregivers in Germany. That's a lot when you consider that half of them are still working. The balancing act between work and care - I know it all too well. But without the right help and without a well-functioning family structure, family members cannot cope with the stress.
As a carer, you reach your limits - and more than once. Even as a caregiver, like me, I have reached my limits more than enough. I would do everything exactly the same again at any time!
Caring for a loved one, especially as a carer for your own mother and wife, is a challenging and often stressful task. It requires immense dedication, strength and time to meet the physical and emotional needs of the person in need of care. Balancing the care responsibility with your own life, whether professional or private, becomes a daily challenge. Caring within the family in particular brings with it not only organizational but also emotional stress, as the family relationship is fundamentally shaped and often redefined.
At this point I would like to thank my dad from the bottom of my heart. Without you I would not have been able to get through the three years so bravely. I am incredibly proud of how you expanded your nursing skills and how well you did everything! You went beyond your limits, not just a little bit, but a lot!
A special thank you also goes to all the people around us who accepted the situation exactly as it was and gave us strength and love. And also to the wonderful family doctor who accompanied us through two years of struggle, and to my employer, who supported me, provided me with resources and accepted it when I went off track.
Chapter 1
How it all began
In April 2020, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. This diagnosis came about by chance.
Cancer? My mom? Will she die? What happens next? Not my beloved mom! The hardest time of our lives began.
At that point I was 24 years old. My birthday was still to come - but would Mom live to see it? Will we have another Christmas together? Yes, we will experience all of this together!
It all started in December 2019 with a pulling sensation in her neck and shoulder area. She visited one doctor after another. At first, she had mild cold symptoms such as a runny nose and aching limbs, followed by a cough that got worse and worse. The new year began and with the pandemic, Mom was put on short-time work because she worked in a day care center.
On April 1, 2020, my mom went to a pulmonologist and received the diagnosis.
We both come from the nursing profession. She lived the profession. Mum learned in an inpatient setting; at that time there was still a two-year nursing assistant training course with an exam. Death was always present - because of our profession. Mum took away my fears of working with dying people. She had a special connection to dying people. She was special! Particularly different for many. Mum worked in the profession for over ten years. She was the "good-humoured person" on the ward. She made everyone laugh with her humour and her delicate 1.50 m. But the well-being of her beloved seniors in the nursing home was just as important to her. She always stood up for people's rights andclashed with doctors on one or two occasions. She had great empathy for her charges and their families, often staying at work for hours to make their final journey as pleasant as possible and to be there for their families. Even when she switched to day care, she was often there long after work to be there for the day care guests or to follow up on her work, such as documentation, tidying up the day care or preparing for the next day. She enjoyed seeing her guests and residents laugh, having fun with them and bringing them joy. I worked with my mom and took my exams to become a specialist with her. I was able to learn a lot through her, and I am still grateful to her for that today - even if I told her about it far too rarely.
On April 1st, 2020, we sat there, completely shocked and on the floor in the kitchen, wondering what to do next. The X-ray report was full of technical terms, but one was familiar to Mom and me - carcinoma.
"I don't want to die. I'm not ready yet."
“No mom, you won’t die. We can do it!”
That's what we said back then.
The first hospital stay was imminent on April 7, 2020. A biopsy was performed to see what options were available. The biopsy ruled out surgery to remove the tumor. So there was only one option left - chemotherapy. The senior physician said at the time: "This diagnosis will be your death sentence. You won't live much longer," and disappeared from the room. How can a doctor say something like that? It doesn't matter - we can do it! Another blow. Another slap in the face. Because of Corona, we weren't allowed to visit her. She was in the clinic for about a week. Several tests and examinations were carried out.
It was classified as “palliative,” that is, a special form of care for seriously ill and dying people.
From that day on, everything changed somehow. Mom decided against conventional medicine and for alternative medicine. What exactly does that mean? I didn't know at the time. I thought it was some kind of globules. But no such luck, I was proven wrong.
When I was a small child, there was often alternative medicine, home remedies like hot and cold compresses, curd compresses and even onion tea for colds, that's what I associated with it. I thought to myself:"Mom, you can't get well with something like that, you're playing with your life." She was always good for surprises!
So she radically changed her diet; from one day to the next. Fasting and dieting were on the agenda. Up until then, we had only ever known hearty food; of course it was healthy, but it was hearty. As it is, I had to eat it. It wasn't bad at all; dandelions and nasturtiums didn't become my favorite foods, but what wouldn't you do for your mom. During this time, also due to Corona, my mother went for a lot of walks. She spent hours in the forest, enjoying the peace and quiet, the forest air, collecting sticks and branches and rediscovered handicrafts for herself, eating berries and birch leaves. She got her old walking sticks out of the cellar and walked for miles.
