Beyond the illusion of love E-Book

Manu Holzmeister

• Herausgeber: epubli
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 127

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

Guidebook "Love Fraud – How to Spot Love Scams in Time" This guidebook reveals, without sugarcoating, how professional love fraudsters—whether online or at vacation destinations—manipulate emotions with psychological precision. It uncovers how love fraud works, what the terms Bezness and Love Scam mean, who is behind these schemes—and why so many people fall into the trap despite clear warning signs. With clear analyses of perpetrator strategies, manipulation techniques, archetypes, and emotional dependency, this book shows how hope and longing are deliberately exploited. It helps readers understand their own relationship patterns, sharpen their inner warning systems, and protect themselves. Numerous case studies, offender profiles, red flags, and a practical self-protection guide make this book an indispensable companion for anyone who hopes (again) for true love. True love begins with clarity.

Leseprobe

Imprint

Texts: © Copyright by Mag.a Manuela Maria Holzmeister

Cover design: © Copyright by Manu Holzmeister in cooperation with Canva Free Templates

Publisher: Self-publisher contact me via: [email protected]

Production: epubli - a service of neopubli GmbH, Köpenicker Straße 154a, 10997 Berlin

Contact address according to EU product safety regulations: [email protected]

For all those who were looking for true love – and found only mythical creatures instead of princes.

For those who believed that love was a bargain and realized:

You often pay too much.

For those who learned that “no” is the new “yes” – especially when it comes to love scams.

For those who realized that home cannot be found on social media.

This book is your faithful companion through the maze of emotions –

and perhaps also your lifeline.

First the sun shines, then the storm thunders. Suddenly, you are inundated with messages, compliments, and promises - too much, too fast, too perfect. You stagger in emotional chaos, hardly able to believe that it's all real. But behind the sweet storm often lurks a bitter truth. How do you escape this whirlwind?

You'll find the answers in the book - but only if you're willing to look closely.

Foreword

This book is the result of an intense journey—a journey that began many years ago and led me deep into a world that few people know about, but which can affect any of us: Bezness, love scams, and the art of emotional manipulation.

As a computer scientist and personal development trainer, I have spent years studying the digital mechanisms and psychological tricks behind these forms of fraud. But then, once upon a time, so all stories start, I encountered a so-called scammer or love fraudster, so that the topic became very interesting to me and prompted me to embark on a field study and role-play.

In my own circle, I repeatedly meet people who had fallen victim to such scams—friends, colleagues, acquaintances, clients. The entanglements are complex, often hidden behind a facade of charm and supposed love.

My aim is to reveal the hidden background and make the scams used by the perpetrators understandable. I want to be a support to those affected, warn those who want to be careful, and encourage all those who wonder how true love is still possible today.

This book guides you through the dark structures, reveals the most common strategies, and tells you how you can protect yourself. You will realize why we sometimes attract exactly what we want to avoid and which inner archetypes control us.

But it is also an invitation to rediscover true love—love that cannot be bought, is not manipulative, but is genuine and free.

Are you ready to look behind the scenes? Ready to understand, to recognize and to act? Then accompany me on this journey. - But be careful: what you discover may change your view of love forever. Because not everyone you meet is sincere—and some truths are difficult to bear. But this is precisely where the opportunity for true freedom begins.

Are you ready to lift the veil and look behind the shiny façade? What you will discover may shake you – but it may also strengthen you.

Because sometimes it is only painful recognition that saves us from the greatest deception.

What does this e-book do?

Love—it is often described as the greatest adventure of our lives. In songs, films, and romantic notions, it is equated with security, closeness, and fulfillment. But for many, this is where a path begins that does not lead to a healthy relationship—but rather to emotional dependence, manipulation, and loss.

This book is a guide for anyone seeking genuine connection in an age of digital intimacy – and who may encounter deception in the process. It not only recounts individual cases, but also systematically illuminates the structures behind Bezness, love scams, and emotional manipulation. It shows how perpetrators deliberately exploit the desires and vulnerabilities of their victims – often in a well-organized, professional manner and across national borders.

This book aims to educate, protect, and empower. It offers insights into archetypes of perpetrators and victims and sheds light on methods of manipulation, emotional dynamics, and ways back to self-efficacy. It is aimed at people who want to understand how a love scam works, what manipulation methods are behind it, how the network functions, and how they can put themselves back in the center of their lives—without guilt, but with new clarity.

Disclaimer / Legal notice

This book is intended solely for information, education, and prevention purposes. The content is based on personal experiences, careful research, and conversations with victims and experts. All case studies have been anonymized and partially altered to prevent identification with real persons. Any similarities to living or deceased persons are purely coincidental and unintentional.

It is not the aim of this book to discredit, condemn, or publicly expose individuals or groups. The phenomena described in the book, such as bezness, love scams, or emotional manipulation, are widespread worldwide and affect people of different origins, nationalities, and circumstances. The presentation is intended solely for the education and self-protection of potential victims.

The author accepts no liability for decisions made by readers based on the content presented here. This book is not a substitute for individual legal, psychological, or therapeutic advice.

The content reflects the author's personal opinion and experience and does not represent factual claims about specific individuals. References to possible psychological abnormalities or perpetrator types are based on recognized psychological theories and are intended for guidance purposes only—not for stigmatization.

Note: For reasons of readability, gender-neutral language is not used throughout. However, all personal designations and pronouns are always gender-neutral and refer to all genders equally.

Acknowledgements

This book would not have been possible without the support and guidance of many wonderful people. My deepest gratitude goes to all those who stood by me along the way, encouraging and inspiring me.

First and foremost, I would like to thank my sons. With your foresight and openness, you have accepted a mother who does not swim with the tide like a dead fish, but questions many things. Thanks to your openness and our constant dialogue, you are now better informed than many other young adults your age. I love you more than anything and would give my life for you.

I would also like to thank my grandfather Hubert, who told me his whole life that I should write a book. Now it's finished, Grandpa. You would have read it, I know that ;-)

Thank you to my best friends, who endured with infinite patience my frequent absences—both physical and mental—during the writing process. You supported me even when I was immersed in other worlds and showed me that it is not the quantity of time but the quality that makes a friendship. It is so wonderful that you exist; what would I do without you!

I would also like to express my special thanks to a great psychoanalyst who confirmed my assumptions with his sound knowledge. Your profound insights helped me understand many things in a larger context. Your expertise not only gave me valuable inspiration, but also contributed to this book taking a well-founded and reflective perspective.

This book is not only my work, but the work of many. It is the result of shared experiences, shared conversations, and your support.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Prologue

When this guide was first published, some people felt addressed—some were irritated and some were even very angry and hurt because they believed they could see themselves in this book. This prompted me to thoroughly revise and expand the book. Because that is exactly what it is about: education, protection, and understanding—without pillorying anyone or violating personal rights, and certainly not to slander anyone.

Nevertheless, you may recognize yourself in the stories—perhaps you have experienced something similar or you are currently in a comparable situation. This repetition is part of the sad reality, the satirical tragedy of these scams. The stories you read here are not isolated cases, but reflect universal patterns and behaviors.

The people and events in this book are archetypes – composed of many different experiences, impressions, and encounters that I have gathered in the course of my research and through personal encounters. They are deliberately designed to cover multiple facets without revealing real people. This makes it possible to better understand the complex web of deception, longing, and manipulation.

This book is an examination of digital and real-life love scams, emotional manipulation, and the consequences they leave behind. It combines fictional elements with exaggerated characters in authentic situations. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental and unintentional.

If you are ready to look behind the façade, recognize the mechanisms, and protect yourself, then join me on this journey. Because knowledge is the first step toward self-determination—and only those who know the tricks can escape them.

Welcome to a look behind the scenes of love—how it can be, how it should not be. Let's discover together how real closeness remains possible despite all the deception!

Introduction Imagine someone looking deep into your eyes—perhaps in person or through your phone. They say all the right things, write poems, listen to you, and know your desires. You feel seen, desired, connected. Maybe even saved. And then there comes a moment when you think, “This is it. This is different.”

But what if this “different” is not better, but more dangerous? What if behind the romantic façade there is no loving person – but a network? A business? A script?

Welcome to the world of love scam and bezness – where feelings become commodities and relationships become a means of fraud, control, or money.

Why this book?

Because I know that even smart, loving, strong people fall for such stories.

Because it's not naive to believe in the good in people – but it's dangerous if you lose yourself in the process. And because emotional manipulation often starts more quietly than you think: with an emoji. A compliment. A story.

What you can expect in this book?

This guide is not a shallow dating guide. It is a toolbox filled with: Knowledge about perpetrator profiles, psychological manipulation, and international scams

Case studies that show how subtly and systematically victims are emotionally ensnared

Archetypes that help you understand the roles you unconsciously take on in relationships

Self-protection strategies that allow you to distinguish healthy from toxic dynamics

And: a look behind the scenes – at the structures that have built a criminal business out of love.

What brings you here?

Perhaps you have experienced something like this yourself. Perhaps you suspect that something is wrong in your relationship. Or maybe you just want to date with a clear mind and an open heart – without being hurt or taken advantage of again.

Whatever brought you here, this book will not only enlighten you, but also uplift you.

Because the best weapon against emotional deception is not cynicism – but awareness.

And don't worry, everything is presented in a G-rated way – perfect for heated school discussions or educational camps for all ages, for people who want to courageously tackle the subject.

If you are interested in a workshop on this topic, please contact me. I am happy to talk about this topic to school classes, seniors, or anywhere else!

Because let's be honest: if we had more social justice, less loneliness, and less discrimination in the world, many love scammers would probably have been out of work long ago!

Welcome. You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to learn. And you are allowed to protect yourself. Ready to see through the game? Then grab the book and don't let yourself be blinded!

The disguise of romance scammers

The scam is always the same, the locations change, the network and profits grow every year, and the number of victims increases.

This part of the guide takes you behind the scenes of romance scams and Bezness. You will learn how emotional manipulation works, what kind of perpetrators are behind it, and why even smart, strong people fall into these perfidious traps.

Knowledge protects...

What is Bezness?

Bezness is a form of romance fraud in which emotional intimacy is merely feigned. The aim is to gain the trust of the person concerned in order to gain personal advantages – such as money, residence rights, or standard of living. Bezness usually begins with affection, charm, and intensive contact, but often ends in emotional dependence, social isolation, and violence.

Bezness and violence: An underestimated dynamic

Violence plays a central but often underestimated role in the context of Bezness—the deliberate establishment of relationships to obtain material or other benefits. It is not always immediately apparent, but often manifests itself in the course of the relationship in the form of psychological, economic, or physical abuse. Why violence is common in Bezness relationships?

Control and power imbalance

Bezness is based on unequal power relations. The relationship is usually not based on partnership, but rather characterized by control. If the victim shows resistance—for example, by questioning demands, setting boundaries, or expressing their own needs—many perpetrators respond with pressure, threats, or escalating behavior.

Biographical burdens

Many people who engage in Bezness come from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds. A past marked by poverty, neglect, violence, or unstable living conditions can lead to manipulation and dominance being learned as survival strategies. In such cases, violence is not experienced as a last resort, but as a normal means of conflict resolution.

Substance use

Alcohol or drug consumption is present in many of these contexts. Under the influence of psychoactive substances, perpetrators often lose their inhibitions. As a result, victims report sudden aggression, shouting, confinement, or physical assaults—often triggered by seemingly trivial events.

Isolation and dependency

Many victims of Bezness find themselves in countries whose language and structures they do not know. They are often alone, without social contacts or local support. In these situations, even verbal abuse can be life-threatening – not least because access to help is difficult. Authorities often react cautiously or consider the incident a “private matter.”

The progression: From romance to violence

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic in which a person showers their counterpart with excessive love, attention, and gifts in a short period of time in order to quickly establish emotional attachment and control. Behind this seemingly intense affection often lies the goal of creating dependency. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic in which one person overwhelms another with an excessive display of affection, attention, and gifts within a short period of time. What may initially feel like passion or destiny often hides a calculated strategy: to create emotional dependence and ultimately gain control.

At first, the flood of attention can be intoxicating. Compliments, constant messages, and dramatic declarations of love arrive in rapid succession. The intensity leaves little space to breathe, to reflect, or to recognize the imbalance. Soon, however, subtle demands begin to surface—requests for money, offers of help, or investments in a shared future that feels rushed and premature.

Over time, the mask begins to slip. The affectionate partner may show controlling tendencies: jealousy, restrictions, and attempts to isolate their counterpart from friends or family. What began as flattery now turns into surveillance and ownership.