Cold Courage E-Book

Pekka Hiltunen

• Herausgeber: Hesperus Press Ltd.
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Beschreibung

Cold Blood. Cold Case. Cold Courage. When Lia witnesses a disturbing scene on her way to work, she, like the rest of the City of London, is captivated and horrified. As details unfurl in the media, the brutal truth emerges - a Latvian prostitute has been killed, her body run over by a steamroller and then placed in the boot of a car to be found. As the weeks pass and no leads are found, the news story dies but Lia finds herself unable to forget. When she meets Mari, another Finn living in London, she thinks it fortuitous, but Mari has engineered the meeting for her own advantage. There is much more to Mari than meets the eye: she possesses an unnatural ability to 'read' people, to see into their innermost thoughts and pre-empt their actions. Mari heads up a unit she calls the 'Studio' - a group she employs made up of four disparate people: a hacker, a set designer, a private detective and an actress. They are loyal to Mari, and she has bound them to her by granting them life-changing favours. Cold Courage is a gripping psychological thriller debut by award-winning Finnish author Pekka Hiltunen - skilfully paced, intense and intelligent.

Leseprobe

Cold Courage

Pekka Hiltunen

Translated by Owen F. Witesman

Contents

Title PageIFinnish Girls12345678910111213IIA Better Britain14151617181920212223242526272829IIIFairness303132333435363738394041424344454647484950Biographical noteCopyright

I

Finnish Girls

1

Panic spread through the street, rippling in a viral wave of contorted faces and anxious gestures.

In her morning daze, Lia gazed through the bus window at the unfolding scene. Suddenly it seemed that every pedestrian on the pavement wore the same expression of overwhelming nausea.

It was the beginning of April and Lia was on her way to work. Every morning she performed this ritual of submission, an hour surrendered to the flow of traffic coursing through a city that was too large and too full of people. For Lia, living in London was like living pressed between other bodies, constantly allowing others to invade her meagre personal space.

That morning on Holborn Circus, a short distance before the end of the route at Stonecutter Street, she saw something in the pedestrians she had never beheld before.

The moment before a catastrophe. This is what it looks like.

A car was parked on the pavement, with a crowd gathered around. That was the source of the fear, the ground zero from which the panic was spreading.

The car was a large, white Volvo left sideways across the pedestrian flow, as if someone had abandoned it there in an emergency. Lia couldn’t see anyone inside, but the boot gaped open. People were pointing at it, and more and more were stopping to look.

Whenever someone came sufficiently close to see into the boot, their expression changed. That contorted face.

Whatever was in the boot of that car, it made everyone who saw it freeze as though they had been slapped across the face. Many hurried away.

But more people kept coming.

Through the open window of the bus, Lia could hear the pedestrians’ exclamations. They were frantic, broken utterances, never enough to tell what had happened. One man was talking to the police on a mobile phone. An old woman had closed her eyes and was chanting, ‘Oh my God. Oh my God.’

Lia rose from her seat to try to see down onto the pavement, but at that moment the lights changed and the bus lurched forward. The driver hit the accelerator, beginning to round the Circus.

Suddenly the brakes locked. Lia flew against the seat in front of her and then back into her own. The driver had stopped the bus to avoid colliding with two cars that had cut in front of him, taking a shortcut the wrong way around the roundabout.

The first was a police car. Lia realised she had been hearing the manic siren in the background only once she saw the blue lights, which continued flashing after the car had stopped. The second vehicle was a van with ‘ITV Meridian News’ emblazoned on the side.

The bus accelerated again. From that distance, seeing into the boot of the Volvo was now impossible. In a second, the strange scene fell behind.

When Lia arrived at work, everyone already knew about the incident. Although Level was a bi-weekly and not in the business of reporting news, the computer monitors and large TV screen in the editorial office were broadcasting all the latest updates.

In the boot of the white Volvo on Holborn Circus, police had found the remains of a badly mutilated corpse. It was so badly crushed that initial news reports indicated the police were not able to release any information whatsoever about the victim. Their best guess was that they were dealing with only one body and that it was a woman’s, although even that was not entirely certain.

‘That’s crazy. I was just there. I saw that car,’ Lia said to Sam, the writer who shared the desk next to her.

Sam nodded and continued reading the news feeds.

Am I an eyewitness to a crime? thought Lia.

No. I am an eyewitness to eyewitnesses, a person who saw other people’s horror at witnessing the aftermath of a crime. That isn’t really anything.

She watched the news broadcast on the television showing the white car stopped on the pavement with the boot open. The headline over the image read, ‘Brutal slaying in the heart of the City.’ Finally Lia felt the wave of nausea she had seen on the street wash over her as well and hurried to the toilet.

2

The murder dominated the Tuesday news cycle, making concentrating on work difficult for Lia. A graphic designer for Level, she was currently working on the visuals for two forthcoming articles. Fortunately they were both easy layout jobs: an investigative report on the state of metropolitan Great Britain and a short human interest story on politicians’ dogs. She was grateful there was no editorial meeting that day. When she realised she was fixating on any information about the Holborn Circus incident – news agency coverage, tweets, television bulletins – she gave in to her curiosity.

She subscribed to the RSS feeds for news articles about the case so she would receive a notification any time updates were posted. And updates trickled in throughout the day. Usually the new information was just an addition of one or two sentences, including the detail in many of the news articles that the model of the Volvo was an S40.

By the afternoon, the only facts the police could confirm were that the number of victims was one, that she was a woman with dark hair and that she had been mutilated in an exceptionally brutal manner. No information was made available about the killer.

This unsettled Lia, feeling somehow disrespectful to the dead woman.

The online editions of the tabloids used their largest headline font. Because the police had constructed a tent-like barrier around the car, the photographers were unable to get any close-up shots. But the reporters were interviewing eyewitnesses.

‘At first you couldn’t even tell it was a person. I thought it was… animal innards from a slaughterhouse,’ one upset man told the Sun.

This idea recurred in the other eyewitness interviews. Few of them grasped that the mass in the boot was made up of human remains until they noticed the hair mixed in and the few fragments only just recognizable as body parts.

Dear God. Whoever did this deserves to burn in hell.

At two o’clock in the afternoon, the Daily Mail published a picture from the mobile phone of another witness. Visible in it were the edge of the Volvo’s boot and clear plastic surrounding a discoloured mass of black and red.

Fortunately the picture was out of focus.

At half past four, Lia noticed that the Sun had, with its typical sense of style, dubbed the corpse ‘The Woman Without a Face’ in an attempt to make the story more memorable.

By the time Lia left work, she was torn. She could take the Tube home and avoid the whole issue. Instead, she chose the bus so she could see the area around Holborn Circus.

Located on Fetter Lane in the City, the grandiose environment surrounding the offices of Level was bound to make anyone feel small. Each day thousands of commuters crammed into the City, the well-dressed, high-powered financial and legal acolytes of the temple of commerce that is the Square Mile. Amid the crowds Lia always found herself trying to convey the impression that she belonged there – focused, striding from one important business appointment to another.

For the staff of Level, the location so close to Fleet Street was a point of pride.

Today Lia saw this familiar environment with fresh eyes. Even in the City, some of the most carefully guarded streets of London, brutal crimes could happen.

The large, white police tent was visible from a distance as the bus approached Holborn Circus. Around it was an area cordoned off with white and blue striped tape, behind which people stood staring.

At home in Hampstead, Lia decided to avoid turning on her computer or the television. Her mood was restless, and she didn’t know whether she wanted to think about the incident at all any more.

During the night she woke up twice. She had to force herself to calm down.

On Wednesday the story was on the front page of every newspaper and still the first item on the TV news.

One of the police officers had given an anonymous statement to the effect that the victim in the car had been crushed by a large steamroller or something similar driving over her several times.

MOST BARBARIC MURDER OF THE CENTURY? BRUTAL GANGLAND EXECUTION, brayed the newspaper headlines.

Despite her conscience reproaching her, Lia purchased each of the newspapers with a large story on the killing. Placing them inconspicuously on her desk, she read them while she worked.

The gangland-style execution story hinged on the brutal way the corpse had been mutilated and the fact that the car was stolen. ‘Using a car of this type is standard procedure for organised crime,’ the reporter wrote.

I’m sure it is. But that isn’t sufficient evidence, Lia thought irritably.

She was relieved to read online that the cause of death was uncertain. The crushing could easily have taken place after she was killed.

Calling the victim the ‘Woman Without a Face’ had also spread to several other newspapers and television channels. Lia hated the name and, as she was shutting down her computer and leaving for the day, she thanked her lucky stars she worked for an honourable publication. Yes, sometimes it went fishing for readers with celebrity gossip but it never forced its editorial staff to make up crass nicknames for victims of horrible crimes.

At home that night, she continued investigating the incident online. Her violent surge of emotions had begun to subside.

What had upset her wasn’t the actual sight of the crime scene from her bus. What stopped her dead was the realisation that someone had done that to a woman.

I am naive. I am twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight, and I’ve never really thought that things like this could happen to anyone.

Thinking of the woman’s death was horrible. Just the thought produced a nearly physical pain, but Lia couldn’t prevent herself from brooding over the details of the crime. Someone had to have driven the steamroller. And then collected what remained.

Only when she noticed the tears falling on her hands did Lia realise she was crying. She felt an oppressive dislocation, a despondency that paralyzed her entire being.

What kind of a person could do that?

Where does the pure evil in that kind of person come from? Did he grow into it or somehow get… pushed into it?

Once, years ago, Lia had feared for her own safety. But that was nothing compared to this.

I have never grieved over something like this before. Am I such a cold person that it takes a brutal murder to make me feel anything?

She looked out of the only window in her flat at the small church next door and the statues in the park, barely visible in the darkening evening light.

No one could help this woman any more. But Lia understood herself in a new way. Herself, and her old fear.

That night she slept a little better.

By Thursday, the story had disappeared from the news. No new information was being reported, and the speculation had shifted to the inside pages.

The Guardian published an opinion piece by a criminologist who speculated that the Holborn Circus corpse was part and parcel of a process of ‘spectacularisation’ of murder in which real life and crime on television and in the cinema were drawing closer together. Making a grand spectacle was the murderer’s objective.

‘Leaving the body in the middle of the City was pure theatre. In the theatre of brutality, set and staging matter,’ the scholar said.

God, he must be right, but do that woman’s loved ones really need to be tormented by him saying so?

Then Lia remembered that the police had not yet announced that they had even identified the body, let alone informed the next of kin.

I doubt anyone even knows that they should be crying for her.

That day was the weekly editorial meeting at Level during which they went through all the topics for the next edition. To Lia’s surprise, at the end of the meeting, Matt Thomas, the editor-in-chief, brought up Holborn Circus.

‘So, about the “Woman Without a Face”. Any thoughts?’

Lia stared at Thomas. Of course it would just so happen the only person in the office she disliked was the editor-in-chief. The feeling was mutual, and she knew it.

For a long time she had explained her reserve towards Thomas by telling herself that he had to be a bit of a bastard just because of his position. Editors-in-chief laboured under a mountain of pressure to produce results, so they had to have a little leeway to vent frustrations at subordinates. But in fact Thomas had always been unfriendly and routinely collected the praise for the accomplishments of the entire staff. And although he enjoyed talking about ‘journalistic ethics’, all he ever did was move the magazine closer to the tabloid market.

No one took up Thomas’ question.

‘This next issue still needs something more hard-hitting,’ he reminded them.

‘I have a difficult time imagining any reason for us to write about it,’ the political reporter, Timothy Phelps, said. ‘Gruesome crimes happen. People recoil, and then we all move on.’

‘Right you are,’ Thomas said, and with that wrapped up the meeting.

Lia disagreed.

I have not moved on.

3

Towards the end of April came a special night.

Not quite one month after Lia had seen the frightening scene on Holborn Circus, it was her birthday. The actual day was Sunday, but she had invited her colleagues to join her at the White Swan, their local, after work on Friday.

Lia had looked forward to the evening anxiously. Celebrating her birthday was not like her but, as it had approached, she had felt the need to do something different this year. In part it may have been due to recent events.

‘If you don’t have anything else on,’ Lia had said as she invited everyone. She wasn’t sure whether many would want to come.

Generally they seemed to think of her as that introverted, slightly strange, slightly hard, Finnish woman. But hard in a way that meant they could have a friendly go at her about it.

No fewer than eight of the office’s dozen-odd employees turned up at the White Swan. Matt Thomas was not among them, which was a relief for Lia. Two hours later, five of the boys remained.

Lia knew that these men had their own lives, a relationship or a family, so spending a free night drinking with the weird Finnish lady from work was a display of real warmth.

The evening had been fun so far. The boys were displaying openly their affection for Lia, even making toasts.

The mention of her sense of humour in more than one of these especially delighted her. According to the boys, she put an entirely new spin on the blonde joke: here was a blonde who could throw barbs sharp enough to strike fear into the hearts of weaker men.

She received CDs by some of her favourite artists, albums she already had of course, and countless hugs and drinks. She competed with the boys in their silly drinking games.

Around ten o’clock the stage of inebriation Lia loved best began. When the buoyancy of alcohol bears up everything a person does. Leaving the table, Lia went to the toilet.

As she returned, she stopped at the bar, asked for a glass of water and drank it. Water was the best way to draw out the drunkenness in a slow, pleasant burn.

She looked at the table where the five guys sat, her dear and distant workmates. She thought of Finland, her parents and her friends from school with whom she no longer kept in touch.

How many women were celebrating their twenty-eighth birthday tonight? Lia tried to imagine the places they would be celebrating. Bleak Helsinki and countries to which she had never been. What would her party have been like in Australia? Or Mexico?

A woman with dark hair wearing a dark, slim-cut dress approached the bar and stood next to Lia. Roughly Lia’s age, Lia took note of how clearly the woman’s manner spoke of her self-confidence. She smiled at Lia, and Lia smiled back.

The woman sidled closer to say something, and what she said took Lia by surprise. Not because of the words, because of the language.

‘Onneksi olkoon, synttärisankari,’ she said. Congratulations, birthday girl – in Finnish.

Being addressed in her native language amid the bustle of an English pub was so weird that Lia laughed. She hadn’t heard anyone speak Finnish in ages – not since she last called her parents. The woman was speaking a secret language that only they could understand.

‘Kiitos,’ Lia replied in thanks.

Finnish. Open vowels and thick consonants, its taste strong and direct, a language that didn’t belong here or, really, anywhere.

The woman said her name was Mari.

‘Lia,’ Lia said, and they shook hands. Given how tipsy she was, this all felt very formal and thoroughly amusing.

‘How did you know it was my birthday?’ Lia asked.

‘I was sitting near you and heard you all talking.’

‘You’ve been eavesdropping on us all evening then.’

‘Yes, but not only on you,’ Mari replied. ‘You seem to have lived in London for some time now.’

‘About six years. And you?’

‘Five, but it hardly seems it.’

‘I know the feeling. You wouldn’t… Would you like to join us?’

‘Thank you, I’d be delighted to.’

‘Boys, if this girl joins us, will you try to behave yourselves?’

‘Anything for you, Lia.’

The waitress brought more drinks. Lia told them that Mari was from Finland. That was all it took.

It was as if the party had started all over again. Having been able to provide her boys with a good conversationalist who was so easy on the eye gave Lia genuine pleasure. Mari brought out both the gentleman and the horny teenager in them. Bombarding her with polite questions, they devoured her with their beer-swollen eyes.

Lia watched the revelling men around the table.

My gallant fools.

These five writers held in their heads an astounding amount of information about politics, sport, high culture and entertainment, and that was another reason Mari enchanted them. She knew all about the current events that came up in conversation. Through the noise of the pub, Lia listened to Mari talk about her background, picking out the words insurance company and personnel manager. The men didn’t ask anything more about that, but Mari’s political views piqued their interest.

‘Bloody hell, Lia, your Finnish friend knows local British politics better than I do!’ Sam said with enthusiasm.

As was his way, the political reporter, Timothy Phelps, had to test the newcomer by debating with her. The subject he broached was the Tory chairman Brian Pensley, who had been in the headlines recently.

‘Pensley has a problem. Whenever he opens his mouth, all anyone can remember is the Tories’ wretched healthcare overhaul. He’s going to be carrying the burden of that failure for a long time,’ Phelps said as if giving a lecture.

Mari shook her head.

‘I think Pensley’s problem is his diffidence. He doesn’t know how to appeal to any specific voting bloc. He never would have become party chairman if David Cameron hadn’t decided to elevate him for some bizarre reason,’ Mari said.

‘Pensley was chairman even before Cameron assumed office,’ Timothy objected.

‘No, he wasn’t,’ Mari said and then expounded from memory: Cameron had begun as leader of the Conservative Party a few years earlier, at the beginning of December. Pensley was promoted to chairman less than a month later, so it was clear that this was done with Cameron’s support.

Timothy went quiet, clearly peeved.

‘C.Y.F.F.,’ Sam said with a grin and then explained the expression to Mari. Ambitious editorial offices valued three things: a feel for language, good networking skills so you could get the scoop on competitors and diligent background work. The last of these had its own acronym, which they used in emails to mock writers guilty of passing on bad information: CYFF, Check Your Fucking Facts.

‘By the way, we work at Level,’ Sam said proudly, but Lia was glad to see that this had no particular effect on Mari.

‘I gathered as much,’ Mari replied.

Clearly she was intelligent and also capable of holding her own in a debate, which was the sexiest thing in the world to these men. Still they remembered to treat Lia like the star of the show.

Lia had worked as a graphic designer at Level for nearly five years, and she got along with the male-dominated staff of the magazine precisely because she held her ground and never let a quip go unanswered. The staff of Level were a clever bunch. Founded in the 1960s out of the idealism of a group of young journalists, the magazine had initially focused on politics. Gradually it had added arts and entertainment coverage. Producing astute commentary on the latest right-wing party platform and engaging reviews of hot new pop albums was no trifling task. Circulation had waned of late, but Level still remained a small but influential voice.

Sometime after eleven o’clock, Mari asked the waitress to bring a jug of water to the table. Lia realised she had forgotten her strategy. You had to tend inebriation like a campfire.

‘And here I was thinking Finnish girls knew how to drink,’ Sam said teasingly.

‘Drinking,’ Lia said emphatically as she raised her water glass, ‘is only one of many things at which Finnish girls excel.’

This rejoinder received whoops from the men and a smile from Mari.

The growing intoxication was beginning to show in repetition in the conversation. Timothy even dredged up the Brian Pensley argument again.

‘Mari, all credit to your knowledge of politics, but you can’t really explain Pensley’s unpopularity based on his lack of charisma. Have you ever seen him speak in person?’

‘As a matter of fact, I have,’ Mari said.

‘And you still believe the Tory platform has nothing to do with his problems?’

‘Of course it does. But when I saw Pensley speak, I knew his speeches were never going to convince anyone of anything. At most the bedridden residents of an old people’s home in a Tory area.’

Everyone waited to see what Timothy would say, but Mari beat him to it.

‘Timothy, what if I told you I thought you could know anyone, be it Brian Pensley or any of us, simply based on their speech and bearing? I don’t know Lia; I just met her tonight for the first time. But if you ask me something personal about her, I bet I can give you an answer.’

Silence fell over the party. The men eyed each other, and Lia thought, I like this woman. There’s something different about her.

‘Right,’ Timothy said. ‘Give me just a second to think up a question.’

Mari stood up.

‘I’m going to the toilet, and while I’m gone you can come up with three questions. If I can’t make it through them, I’ll buy the next round. If I get them right, you buy my drinks for the rest of the night.’

From the men’s faces, you could see that their drunken brains were struggling to understand what this strange game was all about.

‘Challenge accepted,’ Timothy said. ‘Are there any rules?’

‘Well, let’s agree that they have to be something that Lia could answer herself,’ Mari suggested.

Lia laughed.

What an odd fish. But there is something considerate about it, since the game is about me and it is my birthday. And she also wants to give Timothy a rap on the knuckles.

After Mari left, the men conferred feverishly.

‘Where did you find her, Lia?’

After a hushed consultation, they settled on their questions, announcing that the subjects would be travel, money and sex.

‘So, basic human needs,’ Timothy explained.

When Mari returned to the table, the atmosphere was charged. Timothy stood up.

‘Tonight’s performance is entitled: “Everything you always wanted to know about Lia but were afraid to ask.” And the first question is… We all know that Lia likes to travel. What is her favourite foreign destination?’

Lia smirked. Everyone at Level knew what city she had visited three times. Travelling was one of the few personal things she talked about at work. But there was no way Mari could ever guess.

‘That’s a hard one. Bad luck for me. There are so many possible options,’ Mari said.

Everyone expected her to take a long time thinking, but Mari gave her answer right away.

‘I’d say a small town in the south of France. Somewhere in Provence.’

The drinking party stared at Mari in shock, Lia most amazed of all.

‘That’s right! How did you know?’ Lia asked.

‘From a lot of little things,’ Mari said. Lia was probably interested in Europe, and she couldn’t travel far on a graphic designer’s salary. Lia had used a few words of French during the evening, pronouncing them with a southern accent. Her skin was pale, which meant she didn’t go in for beach holidays. During the evening she had talked about her fondness for wine, food and culture.

‘And a lot of other little details like that. So what city is it, Lia?’

‘Carpentras. In Provence, like you said.’

‘Good guess,’ Timothy said. ‘Impressive deduction. Or a lucky guess.’

That wasn’t just luck, Lia thought.

With that, Timothy asked his next question: ‘We don’t even know the answer to this one: what is the most expensive thing Lia owns?’

‘This should be easy,’ Mari replied. ‘Most people don’t have very many really expensive things. But I’ll have to think.’

Everyone waited in silence.

Ludicrous, Lia thought. She can’t guess that. Even I would have a hard time saying what my most valuable possession is.

‘Lia could have an inheritance. But I think I’ll say that the most expensive thing she owns is an investment holding,’ Mari said.

Lia smiled.

‘Huh, you’re probably right. My parents started a stock account for me when I was at school,’ she said.

‘Jesus,’ Sam said. ‘How could you have seen that just by looking at her?’

‘I couldn’t,’ Mari said.

What were people’s most valuable possessions usually? A flat, a car, maybe jewellery and investments.

‘A graphic designer for a London magazine, moderate salary, maybe thirty-five thousand pounds a year? You can’t buy a flat on that in this city. And there’s no point owning a car here. Lia mentioned taking the bus to work. And as for jewellery – if you owned a really stunning piece, wouldn’t you have worn it to your birthday party? Investments were all that remained. That was just the most likely option.’

‘Bravo!’ Sam said.

Lia groaned. ‘That makes me feel so normal. And boring.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Mari said. ‘That’s just the safe, ordinary part of you. The rest of you is much more fascinating.’

The men whistled.

‘Girl on girl action! It doesn’t get much sexier than that!’

‘We’ll see whether she can answer the last question as easily,’ Timothy said.

‘The sex question,’ Lia said, rolling her eyes.

‘The big sex question,’ Timothy announced. ‘We know that as a beautiful woman, Lia must have plenty of admirers. But how many sexual partners has she had?’

‘That’s a question an outsider could never answer exactly,’ Mari said.

‘That’s a pretty damn stupid, chauvinistic, revolting question,’ Lia said.

‘Be that as it may,’ Timothy said, ‘it’s also the most natural thing in the world. Mari’s probably right though that getting the exact number would just be chance.’

So he rephrased the question: Was the number closer to one, five, ten, fifty or one hundred?

Among the men the question received boisterous approval, but Lia shook her head. Not only did the inane voyeurism bother her but she also disliked the idea of defining someone by the number of men she had slept with.

‘It’s all right, Lia,’ Mari said. ‘Gentlemen, this question is beneath you. But it is within the rules, and obviously interesting to someone on a personal level. Although in a rather lowbrow way. Lia, if you agree, I’ll try to answer.’

Lia nodded reluctantly.

She knows. But I don’t know if I want her to say it out loud.

‘I think it’s clear that, like most young women, Lia has a prolific sex life. The closest number is fifty.’

The boys went wild, clapping and hooting so loudly that the entire pub turned to look.

‘Fifty men! Fifty men!’

Lia pulled a face at them. Stupid drunks.

‘Is that right?’

‘Well of course,’ Lia said.

Wolf-whistling, the men demanded to know the basis for Mari’s guess.

‘How can you tell? Was it her neckline?’

Mari looked at Lia and said: ‘You can’t tell from anything directly. I just have an intuition about these things. And she has the look of an independent person.’

‘Shit, you guys are such children,’ Lia said.

Leaving the men to their snickering, Lia went to the bar. Sam asked Mari what she wanted to drink after winning the bet, but Mari was not listening. She followed Lia.

‘I’m sorry,’ Mari said. ‘That was in poor taste.’

‘It isn’t your fault. When they drink, things always get dirty before too long.’

The bartender looked at them expectantly. Mari shook her head and pulled on her coat.

‘You are really good at guessing things,’ Lia said.

‘Thanks. And thank you for including me in your birthday party.’

An odd feeling came over Lia as she looked at Mari, who was preparing to leave. As though their evening ought not to be ending quite yet.

‘Are we leaving something unfinished here?’ she asked.

Mari smiled.

‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘You want to go somewhere else?’

4

The night was clear, with a sense of impending cold. A faint wind brushed over Lia’s and Mari’s faces.

Mari hailed a taxi, which took them to Greenwich Park.

A high brick wall surrounded the park, and the gates were already locked for the night, but Mari was not headed for the park. Instead, she began walking along the wall, up the hill.

At the top, Lia had to stop and look. The view was unreal. A magic city.

She had never seen the city she lived in from this angle. Below glittered the meandering Thames, behind it the old Isle of Dogs harbour area, then Mile End, Whitechapel, Wapping. The high towers of the City. Behind them the classical districts of Bloomsbury, Covent Garden, Marylebone, Mayfair.

Even if London felt too big for her, it was beautiful for a large metropolis: instead of disturbing the ambience created by the older buildings, the skyscrapers blended with it perfectly. And somewhere there in the darkness was Hampstead, the streets she now called home.

She wiped her eyes, which were watering from the wind.

Mari continued on. Next to the wall was a small building that looked like a groundsman’s shed. There the chilly wind dropped.

Along the wall of the shed was a bench. Mari sat down. From here they could see the dark silhouette of the city and lights, so many lights.

Mari took a small bottle of cognac and two glasses out of her bag.

‘Just the essentials, I see. Do you always carry those in your handbag?’ Lia asked in amusement.

‘Only when I need them,’ Mari said.

She poured the cognac and extended one of the glasses to Lia. The silence was almost complete as they watched the city at night.

‘OK, now this is starting to feel like a birthday again,’ Lia said.

Mari motioned towards the green swathe of Greenwich and talked about the park, an area Lia didn’t know well. Behind the trees, out of view, was a famous vantage point, the Royal Observatory. Mari commented on how quiet it was in this spot in the evening and at night. There were none of the people who wander the ungated parks, the drugs and sex trade. Many of the buildings nearby were valuable national treasures, and the police carefully patrolled these streets.

The conversation turned to the thing that connected them. Finland.

‘A serious country,’ Mari said.

‘A very serious country,’ Lia agreed, and they toasted Finland. The warmth of the cognac reignited Lia’s pleasant buzz, which had begun to peter out during the taxi ride.

Quickly she recognised that Mari had the same complicated relationship with their homeland as she did. Some things they loved, some things they hated, and nowadays their lives were disconnected from it for the most part, and with indifference came a feeling of relief.

Perhaps that was a typical feeling for people who have left their homelands of their own volition.

They talked about Finland, because that allowed them to sound each other out.

‘Finland’s problem is its need for self-aggrandisement,’ Mari said. Like so many other small nations, Finland had taken a few historical events and forged them into an illusion that it had a great past and culture too.

‘But the real value of Finland isn’t in its uniqueness but in the stability of its society, which makes its citizens good people.’

‘Bloody well said.’

‘That just came to me once. Whenever anyone asks what kind of country Finland is, that’s what I always say.’

Mari spoke about her family in Pori on the western coast and inland in Häme. Lia noticed how Mari spoke of everything with exactness, as though her thoughts were never half-formed.

Mari’s second name was Rautee. Two things united the family: leftist politics and a conservative lifestyle.

‘You might imagine a conflict there, but they actually combine quite well.’

The family’s leftist leanings had faded somewhat, but basically everyone assumed everyone else voted red. At the same time, they always worked to amass more wealth.

‘My family are social democrats with big houses.’

Mari seemed to be up to date with current events in Finland. Lia herself didn’t follow the Finnish news. Of course she’d read the few stories that passed the test of newsworthiness in Britain. They were usually depressing or idiotic – major disasters, political sex scandals or strange village festivals.

Lia spoke about her family, who had moved to Helsinki from Kajaani in the north when she was small. She didn’t remember anything about living in the Kainuu area, an economically depressed region just south of Lapland, other than the winters, which were proper, cold ones, not the months of drizzle Helsinki usually had.

When she had to wake up for school on winter mornings, the world was always pitch black. Lia always went straight from her bed to the window. She pressed against the radiator and dressed herself. The radiator was too hot to stay next to, but the room was too cold. She would try to find somewhere between the two to stand and look outside.

‘In the dark all I could see were the tiny, red beacons on the factory chimneys looming in the distance. On the street, little dots moved. Human dots plodding towards the points of light at the factories.’

Lia knew she didn’t need to say anything more. Mari understood without her saying what she meant: the Finns’ fastidious relationship to work, the atmosphere they had both grown up in – studying hard, the value of honest work, the idea that doing good in the world was an industrial production process.

They drank more cognac.

Neither missed Finland. But still the tangible imprint of their homeland remained on them. In the short space between them on that park bench were the empty byways of Finland, the swathes of sparsely inhabited land, not separating people, but rather bringing inner peace. The pace of their drinking told of the Finnish woman’s good head for liquor and appreciation for the fragility of the moment.

‘You’re thinking about Finnish women,’ Mari said.

Lia nodded.

How do you know?

‘You were surprised back there in the pub that I could guess the number of men you’ve slept with more or less correctly.’

Mari said she deduced it from two things. First was that Lia was from Finland. Second was her way of looking at men: intense, appraising, attracted.

‘That makes us sound like some sort of conscious consumers of men. But I think you know what I mean. That a woman can openly take pleasure in men.’

Lia knew.

‘And the Finnishness?’

Mari grinned.

‘How much time do we have? Because, let me tell you, I have a whole theory about Finnish women.’

Laughing, Lia said, ‘I would love to hear your theory about Finnish women.’

Mari paused for a moment and then began.

‘Most Finnish women are just the same as women everywhere else. Bred to be bland. People resigned to conventionality.’

But there was a group of Finnish women who were something else entirely.

‘They’re what you get when you raise young girls on rye bread, vodka, good films and equality.’

‘Excellent diet,’ Lia said.

‘These Finnish women are a little like musk-oxen. We are musk-oxen.’

They both laughed.

‘For us the world is cold, dark, and windy, but we’re still where we are and don’t budge,’ Mari continued. ‘We have a severe attitude towards ourselves and the world. We are harder. More independent and more powerful.’

You could already see this when they were young. Finnish girls had all the gifts and knowledge the world could offer. If you had to entrust anyone with solving the problems of the world, it would be young Finnish women, Mari said.

‘And they’re also so responsible. They know how to grieve and care for those who need it. Like it or not, we were built tough.’

In the Finnish women of today you see a strength accumulated over generations. Their mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers were among the first to stop playing games with men and strike out on their own. They went to school – often more than men – participated in politics, made decisions on their own.

‘That’s why we have this innate freedom to do anything in the world. Like getting drunk in a London park.’

Lia laughed. Mari had just summarised everything she liked and disliked about herself.

I may belong more to the group living dull lives.

A person resigned to conventionality.

They were silent for a moment, and then Mari said, ‘Tell me everything. Start from the very beginning.’

Lia knew what she meant.

‘I’m not supposed to be here,’ Lia said.

London was the wrong city for her. Admitting this to herself had taken a couple of years, and afterwards she had only decided to stay for practical reasons. And also London was beautiful at times.

She left Finland when she was twenty-two, having already studied graphic design for two and a bit years.

‘I thought that if I stayed in Finland, I would just be one more of the thousands of talented women artists all competing for the same low-paid jobs. Teaching jobs or museum appointments.’

She had not chosen London for rational reasons but out of what she had available as a young twenty-something-year-old: dreams. Although this particular dream was embarrassing enough that talking about it made her feel childish.

The memory made Lia smile. When she was fourteen years old, she saw a British television series starring a man with a beautiful face. He wore a wool jumper. At night Lia dreamed about that jumper, about pressing her face against it, feeling the man’s chest underneath. Breathing with the man’s arms wrapped around her, she felt an uncommon sense of security.

‘I thought I would find that same feeling here. That woollen jumper feeling. Silly, I know. Ridiculous. But we do… all sorts of things for ridiculous reasons. I guess that’s the normal state for most people – ridiculous.’

Mari nodded and said nothing.

Speaking to anyone this honestly was strange, Lia thought. Something in Mari made her want to open up. But still Lia didn’t share all her reasons for leaving Finland. She could tell anyone about the ambitions of her youth yet only a few had ever heard the sweater story. But in Finland there had also been other things she never spoke about.

‘Here I had to compete for work in a completely different way,’ she continued.

Lia’s first year in England had been depressing. She found herself belonging to the global pariah class of the creative arts. In London there were tens or perhaps even hundreds of thousands of people just like her. All of them had training, experience or talent, but in order to get ahead in their industries they had to earn their bread and win their spurs doing crap work. Little jobs done for nothing or for horrid clients.

As an EU citizen, she was able to stay in the country and apply for work, but her combined years of schooling and practical experience in Finland left much to be desired. Her grasp of English was reasonable but limited for what was required of a graphic designer – knowing all the songs of any number of British bands by heart was little help.

She had borrowed money from her parents and taken any design work that came her way.

She had designed advertising flyers for distribution on car windscreens on the street. The pay for that was disgraceful, but she had been able to make some contacts. Next she had found a position as a jobbing designer at a local newspaper. After that Lia had done the layout for a series of anthropology museum brochures and then the museum’s annual magazine. With that under her belt, she had managed to land a job as the unpaid graphic designer for a feminist magazine called Sheer.

‘One day I was in the office, and the editor-in-chief got a call.’

Both of Level’s graphic designers were ill, the usual stand-ins could not come in, and there were only seven hours left until the magazine was due to go to press. Lia headed off with Sheer’s other graphic designer like a child to a sweet shop: a chance to work at Level, a magazine people actually knew about!

The evening was a catastrophe. Just before going to press, they realised that they had made a serious technical error in the page layout, because in all the rush they had misunderstood a key instruction. The magazine was late going to the printers, which cost the publisher money.

Despite all that, something about Lia must have stuck in the art director’s mind, because the following summer Level hired her as a summer intern. After she finished her degree, they gave her a permanent position.

‘That was when I changed my name.’

Lia’s real name was Lea. Lea Pajala. Lia had never liked her name, which made her think of an old lady. In any case, the English always pronounced Lea as Lia anyway, so the change was minor in everyone else’s eyes. She had changed that one letter just for her own sake. And in some way she felt as though the change protected her from the things she didn’t wish to remember about Finland.

The boys at Level nicknamed her Miss Finland, which Lia found more than a little amusing. She had neither the beauty nor the radiance of a pageant queen; if anything, she was angular. The name only suited her because she was what the Brits thought a Finn should be: cold and distant.

‘Well, I’m not really cold. But I do tend to exercise my right not to participate in pointless chatter.’

Lia joked with the editorial staff, but didn’t open up about her life. She did her job. A graphic designer’s work was mostly thinking, forming ideas. A lot of people thought that it was all drawing lines and illustrations, but that was only the part that they could see.

Given how long she spent at work, she only had enough time left for two pastimes, both of which she attacked passionately.

Her dearest love was running. She ran three nights a week, sometimes four or five. Always hard and for at least an hour and a half to get her endorphin levels high enough to reach a deep state of pleasure.

Usually she ran on the green, hilly streets and park fringes of her area in Hampstead. She had four standard routes, from which she always chose based on the weather – wind and rain were worse on the Heath, and North End was only good late in the evening when the streets were free of pedestrians.

When Lia ran, she often imagined watching herself from above, high in the air. A slender woman in a navy tracksuit, blonde hair tied in a small bun at her neck. The precise, even footfalls tapping out the route on the tree-lined path or asphalt. Lia saw the pattern in her mind from above, clear and logical.

‘Of course that comes from my graphic design background. I’ve always loved maps and visualising spaces. I always know what direction I’m going, and I never, ever get lost.’

She seemed to like things ordered, Mari pointed out. She looked at things as wholes.

‘Maybe too much. A little disorder might do me good,’ Lia said.

As Mari smiled, Lia felt as though she could tell her almost anything at all.

Lia never told anyone about her second recreational activity.

‘But you saw it just by looking at me.’

Once every month or two, Lia picked up a different man in a bar.

‘Fifty might be an understatement.’

Sex gave her the same thing that running did: physical pleasure and emotional release. Since no embarrassment or feelings of guilt or romantic fancies came into it, the feeling of relaxation came quite naturally. All that remained was pleasure for her and the other person.

‘Now when I think about it, maybe the thing that attracts me to sex isn’t just the pleasure and anticipation but the disorder. You can never be completely sure of yourself or the other person and you don’t act rationally.’

Lia had started picking up men after she moved to London, but she didn’t mention this to Mari, because it related to events in Finland. The ones she had to get away from. After spending one lonely year in London, she decided she had to make a change.

The men had to be thirty to forty years old and looking for a one night stand, just like her. No lovesick boys or men searching for a wife. And no restless husbands, because she didn’t want any trouble.

‘I don’t touch anyone at work. No one at Level even knows I go to bars.’

Sex made Lia feel strong.

There were many Lias. In the workplace she was introverted, a performer. When she went out at night to meet men, she was open and strong. She was the one who decided. Travelling, she spent her days just walking and reading, enjoying the solitude.

‘All these Lias seem very independent,’ Mari said.

‘Yes, indeed.’

And lonely.

They were quiet, sipping their cognac and looking out over London. This late at night the city divided into two parts: the sleeping neighbourhoods rolling over in the dark and the streets flowing through the spaces in between, channels of living light.

‘Now and then I’ve felt quite alone,’ Lia said.

When she turned twenty-five, she went on her second trip to Provence because she didn’t want anyone at work to notice that she was not celebrating her birthday. This was a sore point for Lia. Loneliness, family and children – those were things she didn’t allow herself to think about.

‘I have tried to change things.’

She attended cultural events, exhibitions, guided local walks and even a volunteer course for a mental health patient support association. She found a pub to call her own in Hampstead, The Magdala. Still, there were only fleeting moments when she didn’t feel alone, sometimes at work or at the pub or in the crowd at a rock club when everyone was dancing together in one sweaty, giddy mass.

Her home was the tiny flat of a single person, but very important to her.

When she first came to London, she looked for cheap accommodation relatively close to the sights of the city centre. What she found was the Hampstead hall of residence for the venerable King’s College, where they rented rooms to non-students during the summer holidays.

In the dormitory laundry Lia met the caretaker, sixty-year-old Mr Chanthavong.

‘He’s one of those…’ Lia searched for the right word. ‘One of those Asian British gentlemen. Doubly restrained.’

Mr Chanthavong was born in Laos, but he said he had also lived in Vietnam and China, among other places, moving from country to country before coming to England. Mr Chanthavong spoke polite Oxbridge English which sounded like he had learned it on a foreign language course long ago. Now he had lived in London for twenty years. In the laundry they spoke about what British people’s deep love of animals said about the civilised nature of the land and about how learning the Tube map made you feel like you had finally arrived.

A week later Lia could no longer afford to live at King’s College. Mr Chanthavong looked pensive. During term time, only students were allowed to live in the hall of residence, but there was one possibility, he said. Mr Chanthavong’s caretaker flat was on the ground floor. Beneath it, in the basement, was another small apartment, actually just one room with a kitchenette in the corner and a toilet. A Bosnian couple had lodged there last, starting out in the country as tourists but then applying for asylum after arriving.

‘If this option were to interest you, I could let you this room. Initially perhaps for a period of two months, during which you could seek more commodious accommodations from the bountiful offerings of London,’ he said.

In the room were only a bed, a desk and a chair. The kitchenette included a hotplate, a small refrigerator and a narrow worktop. The shower was in the toilet, and the space was so cramped that when you were in it you had to stand right up against the bowl. But Mr Chanthavong had asked only £400 for the flat.

Lia had been living there nearly six years now. The rent had gone up, but only to five hundred.

‘No one in London lives in such a good area at that price,’ she said.

Eventually Mr Chanthavong had become simply Mr Vong. At first the name had only been in Lia’s mind – Chanthavong felt so formal – but then when she slipped and addressed him as Mr Vong once and the nickname clearly amused and delighted him, it had stuck.

Lia was not sure whether anyone else was aware of her living arrangements. She never requested a rental agreement and paid Mr Vong in cash. She did her washing in the hall of residence laundry, and Mr Vong helped when she needed tools to repair a socket or a window frame.

‘I live like an eternal student.’

For a long time this had been fun. Whenever she saw young students in the stairway she felt as though she were one of them, living in that time of life before you become something. After landing a permanent position, she began feeling a different sort of pleasure: at least something was settled in her life. She had made her exit from the pariah class.

Her flat was small and easy to care for. From her basement window she could see a strip of an early twentieth-century church and adjacent park. The story of the statues in the park was an eccentric one: each had been rejected by the person who commissioned it.

‘The Garden of Discarded Statues. Or, more like Rescued Statue Park.’

The pastor of the neighbouring St Luke’s Church saved the first statues in the 1920s. Having heard of plans to scrap a statue of his church’s patron saint in North London, he rushed to the scene and purchased it. The statue’s intended purchasers had found St Luke’s face insufficiently virtuous. Next the pastor saved the great Florence Nightingale. This work of art was rejected by a female religious order who found that the sculptor had made the body overly ‘carnal’ to the eye. Since tradition had it that Nightingale herself once resided in Hampstead as well, the rescue of the statue was considered fitting in all respects.

Over the decades the people and organisations of the area had accumulated a considerable collection of salvaged statuary. Lia was particularly fond of the long-eared dog which, according to the story, was purchased for the price of only one pound. No one knew who rejected it or why. Lia called the dog Poundy.

‘This will sound stupid, but sometimes I talk to the statues.’

Whenever she had important decisions to make, she told St Luke and Poundy the dog about them.

Lia emphasised that she was not religious.

‘But if I tell someone something, even if it’s just a statue, it feels like a promise.’

Sometimes Lia watched the nuns who taught at the nearby school walking into the church.

‘They look so peaceful. In films, nuns are always so severe or just one-dimensional. Pious fools.’

But these women looked as though they had found what they were looking for.

‘That woollen jumper feeling.’

In the evenings Lia would hear Mr Vong running himself a bath upstairs. Every night exactly at ten o’clock. A moment later she would hear bubbling as he broke wind under the water.

‘Of course he doesn’t know that the sound echoes from the bath through the floor. But I always get the feeling that everything is as it should be when Mr Vong farts in the bath at ten o’clock.’

Mari laughed and Lia thought, She’s going to know everything about me soon.

‘I love London. I love its size and how uncontrollable it is and that I know a big part of it,’ Mari said.

Mari described her life more briefly than Lia had.

In Finland, she studied psychology. That had gone fast, because she had always been quick at soaking up information.

‘I would have graduated in less than two years, but I had to complete my internship.’

Mari also lived alone.

‘I have men from time to time, but I don’t quite match your pace.’

She had circulated through various countries, finally moving to London because Britain seemed to offer the most opportunities. In addition to her degree in psychology, she had studied sociology at the London School of Economics. For three years she worked as a personnel manager at Mend Ltd, a large insurance company. She had got the job based on a recommendation from a headhunter.

‘I left there three years ago.’

Mari fell silent.

Lia stared at the city sparkling before them. She wondered what was wrong. At the pub Mari had seemed self-confident and alluring in a strange way.

‘One thing has influenced my life more than anything else,’ Mari continued.

OK, here we go, thought Lia. She’s a closet lesbian who hits on women in pubs. Or a Jehovah’s Witness who proselytises people in public parks.

‘I have an unusual gift,’ Mari said, looking at Lia seriously. ‘I have a sort of gift for seeing more in people than other people do. I discovered it when I was a child, and that’s why I’ve lived such an unusual life.’

Lia stared at Mari, not knowing what to say.

‘Do you know how people notice really tiny things about others, often without realising it?’ Mari asked. ‘Like when someone glances at a door or fidgets nervously, you conclude that they’re anxious to get out of the room or waiting for someone to come through the door. You might call those sorts of deductions semi-conscious or intuitive perception. For me the skill of noticing and analysing things just grew a lot stronger than in everyone else.’

The strongest manifestations related to her sense of sight. When she looked at people, she could see what they were thinking and what they would be likely to do.

‘Mind-reading?’ Lia said in disbelief.

‘No, no. If you think of a number, I can’t guess what it is. It doesn’t work like that. But I can say what you think of me. And I know what you’re probably planning to do this weekend.’

‘This weekend I’m planning to sleep off my hangover,’ Lia said. ‘Guessing that doesn’t take any special powers.’

Mari laughed.

‘What if I told you how this all started?’

When Mari was eight years old, her great-grandparents held a Rautee family reunion at Vanajanlinna Estate near Hämeenlinna in south-central Finland.

In the elegant old hunting manor were arches, beautiful halls, antique furnishings and a prohibition-era themed bar located behind a secret door in the cellar billiards room. The history of the manor was complicated. Even the Soviet Union had once controlled it for a while, and at the time of the family gathering it functioned as a leftist youth academy.

‘Our great-grandparents were such conscientious, ideologically pure supporters of the working class that the director of the school allowed them to rent the entire place for the reunion. It was the poshest leftist party you can imagine.’

Sixty relatives attended, the furthest-flung coming all the way from America. Mari had never met most of them. They were complete strangers, but still very warm people with familiar characteristics.

At the end of the reunion, everyone gathered in the courtyard for a family portrait. Arranging sixty people took time. The great grandparents and other elderly people sat in the front row. The men wore the dark suits which they only dusted off for weddings and funerals. The women were in their finest gowns with their hair carefully done up. The mothers attempted to clean smudges from the children’s clothing using handkerchiefs and spit.

‘Then I realised that something strange was happening.’

Looking at the group, Mari knew what many of them were thinking.

She knew that her cousin had just got a new, special drug from an American relative. She knew that Uncle Perttu had just cheated on his wife and wanted to do it again.

‘I also knew that my big sister Marja had just decided what she would be when she grew up. She wanted to be a teacher. And a relative she had met there had influenced her decision.’

No one was saying these things out loud, but still Mari knew them all the same.

‘Do you know how… crazy that sounds?’ Lia asked.

‘Yes.’

The group photograph taken at the reunion came in the post a month later.

‘Looking at the picture, I noticed more things, and everything I could see in those people made me very sad.’

Soon Uncle Perttu divorced Auntie Minna, and she said it was because he had been unfaithful. Mari’s sister Marja did become a teacher and now lived in Porvoo.

‘I can understand even a little kid looking at someone and knowing they are using drugs. Or feeling guilty about something,’ Lia said. ‘Maybe you’re just a really good guesser. Like you guessed things about me tonight.’

‘No, Lia. That’s not it.’

The seriousness in Mari’s tone made the unbelievable seem somehow real.

If this woman is a nutcase, she is a very clever nutcase.

‘Up until then I had thought that everyone could sense this much about everyone else.’

But at the family reunion, Mari had grasped the power of her gift. As an eight year old, she hadn’t known anything about life yet. And yet, she still saw through them all.

Lia shook her head as a surge of mistrust washed over her.