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One sin she can’t forgive. He knew that. He did it anyway.
It seemed nothing and nobody could replace Hana in Logan’s affections. They’ve arrived home from a trip to Europe looking stronger than ever as a family unit. Yet disaster looms in the shape of an unexpected visitor, throwing the Du Roses into turmoil. The past will not leave them in peace.
Hana possesses the thing Logan wants but his behaviour drives her to keep it secret. When he becomes the prime suspect in a murder, she sets out to solve the mystery with her usual brand of chaos. She’ll free her husband, but in the process she may accidentally destroy him.
The old matriarch’s prophecy resonates with truth. The Du Rose men will bring about their family’s ruin.
A quote from the novel. “Hana looked up at her husband. He towered over her, a massive presence full of bearing and authority. It terrified her to know she could destroy him with a single word. He was her strong rock with a hidden fissure through the centre, fragile and flawed in its tainted excellence. He completed so much of her that without Logan, she no longer knew who Hana was.”
Readers say, "I'm hoping there will be more Hana Du Rose books, because I've fallen in love with Logan!" Eli
If you like nail biting sagas with men to die for and women who remind you of yourself, then you’ll love The Hana Du Rose Mysteries.
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Du Rose Sons
The Hana Du Rose Mysteries
K T Bowes
Published by Hakarimata PressCopyright 2015
Table of Contents
Copyright Page
Would you like to be part of it?
Acknowledgement
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 1
Dear Reader
About the Author
Other books by this author:
Last Chance
Disclaimer
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Acknowledgement
I dedicate this novel to all the women out there with sons they will never understand. May the sorority of mothers’ guard and sustain us all.
Chapter 1
Nothing rivalled the sight of breaking glass; a crashing, glittering parade of beautiful prisms; each one lethally charged with death. The transparent panes of the French doors were aged, placed into the wooden frames by hands long since dead by the time the rugged, red brick passed through their mottled surface. The clay missile fractured the wooden struts and caused two of the panes to hang like a torn curtain. The third shattered spectacularly, showering the room’s single occupant with spiteful shards of glass.
“What was that?” The first ear-splitting sound was followed by a deafening second as the hotel’s elderly housekeeper burst into the family room, her eyes wide and frightened and her ample breasts wobbling under her work shirt. “I was next door. What was that crash?”
The dark skinned Māori approached the woman on the sofa, who sat with her hands over her head as though pinned to the cushions. The housekeeper halted at the sight of the speckling of glass littered in the curly auburn hair and blood on the shaking hands. “Oh my goodness, oh no! Get Mr Logan,” she cried to a waitress who appeared at the heavy door and propped it open with her foot. “Tell him the missus is hurt!”
The face and the foot disappeared. “Hana?” The housekeeper, ngā hāwini, touched the redhead, disturbing the glass which tinkled down onto the sofa cushions and pinged off the wooden rimu floor. “Did you see who did it?”
Auburn hair bounced and the glittering glass shone like diamond dust, beautiful and deadly. “No, it happened too fast.”
The redhead put her right hand up to her face and winced as she contacted a series of tiny open wounds, bleeding steadily and dripping stains onto her white blouse. The elderly book on her knee fell to the floor with a clunk - yet another damaging moment in its long suffering existence. The cover fell over the pages of guilty secrets, hiding them from view.
Another face appeared at the door. “Sal says she’s radioed Mr Logan. He’s on his way. Shall we bring the vacuum cleaner to get up the small bits of glass? Or do you want us to call the cops again?”
The housekeeper pursed her brown lips and gave the matter much thought. “Wait for the boss to get here. He’ll decide. Find me a comb. There’s glass in the missus’ hair. You should bring me the first aid kit from the kitchen too; she’s bleeding.”
“Look, Leslie, I’m fine really. Let’s just clear it all up. There’s no need to bother Logan.” Hana attempted to stand and glass cascaded down like a snow storm. Some of the substantial pieces hit the floor with a tinkle.
The waitress arrived in the doorway with a comb and handed it over to her superior, who took it without thanks. Hana protested futilely as Leslie bustled around her, raking savagely through the coils and ringlets with a small black comb. “Whose comb is it?” Hana protested. “That’s gross!”
“Stop your complaining,” the old woman tutted as numerous tiny shards pierced her fingers in her efforts. Finally she stood back and admired her handiwork. “I think it’s all out,” she announced, her brow creased in concentration and annoyance. “But we’ll need to get your clothes off. Best do it here and we’ll clear up in one go, otherwise youse might track the glass all through the house and then my moko will cut her bare feet.”
Hana sighed and bit her pretty lip as she considered her daughter. At barely eighteen months old, Phoenix Du Rose refused to wear shoes and toddled around the hotel corridors with barefoot enthusiasm. “Fine!” Hana groaned. “But I’m only doing this for Phoe!” Her cheeks pinked with embarrassment as she stripped down to her bra and knickers in the middle of the family room, aware of the hotel full of people nearby.
Leslie slapped Hana’s bottom with a flat palm and chuckled. “Youse still a gorgeous girlie for your years. No wonder that boy can’t keep his hands off you. My Alfie would love me to look like that.”
Hana turned and screwed up her face. “That’s just weird,” she said. “You can’t say things like that about my father-in-law.” Knitted brows communicated Hana’s distaste and Leslie gave a belly laugh, her ample bosom wobbling with glee.
“Youse way too serious, girlie. Now, stop shifting yer feet or there’ll be more cuts to mop up.”
By the time her husband arrived, the slender redhead was wrapped in a large black tablecloth from the dining room, mopping at painful cuts on her cheek and hands with a scratchy corner of the starched fabric. “Geez, Hana!” Logan said in dismay.
“Don’t come in!” Hana turned towards her husband, releasing one porcelain toned hand from the tablecloth to ward him off. “There’s glass everywhere. You’ll walk it out into the hall.”
Logan Du Rose shifted awkwardly in the doorway, the heels of his cowboy boots grinding the glass shards which had spread that far. His olive skinned face betrayed agony at not being able to reach his wife and Hana sensed him reading the distress in her face. She was coping just fine until she saw him, but fought the urge to cry as relief flooded over her. Logan’s six foot four inch frame tensed as he made his decision. “Sod it!” he exclaimed and strode over to his slender wife, bending at the knees as he scooped her up into his arms, tablecloth and all. “Take her socks off,” he ordered the housekeeper, who gently peeled them off Hana’s delicate toes. Glass tinkled everywhere and Hana giggled as Leslie patted gently at her bare feet.
“Where’s Phoe?” Logan asked and the housekeeper replied in Māori. Hana caught the word kai and realised her child was eating without her.
“You should have told me. I didn’t know she’d woken up.”
Leslie smiled. “Little moko is fine. Thank the good Lord you didn’t push her pram down here to choose your book. She would have been hurt.” Leslie formed the sign of the cross on her breast with great reverence.
“I was only going to be a minute.” Guilt flooded through Hana, compounded by maternalism. She left the baby with Leslie in the family dining room, next to the hotel’s enormous industrial kitchen. The wall clock told her it was over half an hour ago. Hana bit her lip, tears prickling behind her eyes. She hadn’t been choosing a book, but trying to find somewhere safe to read the old brown journal in peace. One minute she was engrossed in the crabbed handwriting and the next, woken by glass showering her face. Hana rubbed the back of her hand across her eye and felt the sting as small particles ground in the cuts. She hissed under her breath.
“Shower,” Logan spun on his heels and crunched across the floor with determined steps. He shouldered the fire door open and turned back to Leslie. “Leave the glass and lock the door. Get the cops again. My daughter could have been in here too.”
“My book!” Hana held her hand out, green eyes widening in her face. “I should probably read it after all this trouble.”
Leslie placed the worn journal into her palm, eyeing the tattered fabric cover with fleeting curiosity.
The shower in Logan’s childhood room took a while to warm up as the cold spring water surged through the pipes to the heating element. The hotel was full and the guests had used much of the copious supply earlier, not to mention the post-breakfast washing up in the kitchen. Logan balanced Hana one-armed on his hip in the ensuite, his biceps bulging through his shirt while he ran water over his hand and nodded once, satisfied. He flicked the handle and the water ceased so he could lower his wife and her shroud into the cubicle. Hana kept her arms wrapped tightly round his neck, resisting as Logan tried to release her onto her feet. She nuzzled at the skin under his jaw. “Mmnn, you smell of horse.”
Logan laughed, a deep, gorgeous sound that reminded Hana of the mountains and she sighed, noticing the tiny fragments of glass on his shirt. “You’re covered now!” She smiled with mischief in her eyes, putting her feet down and hauling her husband into the shower. “You have to get undressed in here too.”
Logan narrowed his grey eyes and gave his wife a sultry look. “I was actually in the middle of something important.”
“Drenching horses isn’t as important as me.” Hana bit her lip, tears of shock threatening again in her pretence at bravado. Logan saw and took his cowboy boots off in the wet shower tray, rubbing the soles on his jeans to release the clinging shards. Then he threw them out of the cubicle and closed the glass door, trapping his body close to Hana’s.
“Drenching’s important if you’re the horse.”
He peeled the tablecloth gently away from Hana’s body and let it drop, running his fingers over her cold shoulders and up underneath the fiery coils of hair at the back of her neck. Hana shuddered with relief as he bent to kiss her, tasting the remnants of chewing gum on his lips and allowing herself to feel safe.
****
“YOU SAW AND HEARD NOTHING, Mrs Du Rose? You didn’t hear anyone run up to the doors and throw the brick, or see movement through the corner of your eye? You were sitting side-on to the doors, you said, which is why the cuts are all on the right side of your body?”
Hana sighed audibly. She felt under interrogation. The South Auckland policemen were battle weary, suspicious of everyone and everything and she began to think they didn’t believe her. “I sat down with the book and got distracted. I think I nodded off,” she began, interrupted instantly by the jaded blond cop.
“You nodded off! But the call came at just after ten o’clock this morning.”
Hana glanced fearfully across at Leslie, whom Logan drafted in to sit with his wife during her statement taking. His head stockman had called him with another problem and he left with an apology, nominating the housekeeper as his replacement. The wise old lady’s eyes bore knowingly into Hana’s and she quailed and heard herself gulp. “I didn’t sleep too well last night,” she ventured, watching Leslie out of the corner of her eye. “I think I’m probably still out of sync after our trip home from Europe. With all the worry about what’s been happening around the property lately, it’s affected my sleep patterns.”
Hana picked at a knot on the massive wooden dining table, which generations of Du Roses had eaten over, argued over and smacked the snot out of each other over. It had probably seen its fair share of the other kind of passion too and Hana put her cut hands back underneath the table. She heard the clank of metal pans in the kitchen next door. Phoenix sat in her high chair, still eating and learning to make an art form out of it. Her father’s grey eyes fixed on her mother’s face and twinkled as she beamed, displaying her tiny, pearly teeth. The little girl waved her third piece of Marmite splattered toast at her mother and giggled. Hana focussed on the brown streaks on the child’s lips and face and felt bile rising up into her gullet, accompanied by the familiar surge in her stomach. Phoenix’s teeth look like marbled stalagmites. Hana kept her breathing shallow and smiled back at her daughter, whilst deliberately distracting herself with the sound of cars crunching in the gravel at the front of the hotel as guests came and went. The policeman’s eyes were on her and she blanched. “Sorry, was there another question?”
Hana glanced across at Leslie, finding the older woman studying her, much as a butterfly collector inspects his pinned bugs. Leslie’s once black hair was white at the front, receding into grey towards the tight bun which she restrained her long tresses in. Her olive skin had wrinkled over time and her body spread into an A-line shape like a Christmas tree. But her hazel eyes held all the sparkle of youth, revived through her recent marriage to Logan’s elderly father, Alfred. Hana smirked at the memory of Logan’s disgusted face when the old folk’s coupling was mentioned. She wiped it quickly off when Leslie narrowed her eyes and jerked her head towards the policeman. “Sorry, what did you say?” Hana struggled to recover and turned her body towards the policeman’s growing annoyance.
“I asked if you thought whoever threw the brick, knew you were in the room.”
Marmite. Brown, streaky Marmite.
“I honestly don’t know.”
Bored with her late snack, Phoenix entertained herself making finger pictures on the surface of the high chair. Hana’s senses went on red alert as the scent of the awful brown stuff invaded her nostrils and Leslie watched with curiosity, as Hana’s face went from white to pink and back to white again.
Hana just made it to the dustbin in the corner, ripping the lid off and sticking her face into the massive black bin bag inside. The remnants of the stockmen’s breakfast; bacon, eggs and fried bread, stared back at her and finished the last of her resolve. She threw up spectacularly - mimicked by her daughter who copied the noise - and watched by two policemen and her mother-in-law.
Chapter 2
“It’s fine now, I often puke when I’m stressed.” Hana continued to slot Phoenix into the car seat, ignoring the scent of Marmite still on her breath. It was surprisingly easier than pretending Leslie wasn’t standing over her, watching her every move. “Does Logan know you’re ‘stressed’ enough to vomit in front of two cops?”
“We’re all stressed, Leslie. Someone’s damaging our property and trying to cause us expense and misery and it’s working!” Hana’s patience diminished as another wave of nausea threatened. “I just need to go home and put Phoe to bed. I’ll be ok.”
“Stay here,” Leslie urged. “Logan’s room is always free and you’ve got clothes there. I’ve told the girls to put your other clothes in a bin bag and they’ve managed to get all the glass out of the shower. I’ll look after my mokopuna and you can rest for a little while. Seeing as you’re not sleeping so good...” The old lady narrowed her eyes at Hana, keen to play along with the charade for now.
Hana felt tears brimming again, joining with the sickness to make her utterly miserable. She raised her eyes up to the clear blue, winter sky to stop the leakage and found Leslie’s strong brown arm around her shoulders. Sniffing, Hana placed the keys into Leslie’s outstretched palm and went to the passenger side, climbing into the high utility vehicle and struggling to close the door. By the time Leslie had launched her elderly body into the driver’s seat, Hana’s cheeks were already wet.
“Mum, mum, mum,” came Phoenix’s tired voice as the engine started and her eyes closed as if by magic.
Leslie spun the big vehicle round with skill, pointing it towards the sweeping drive but hanging a precarious left onto a small road that wound up through the colourful New Zealand bush. Despite the winter, hues of natural green dominated the native growth which seemed unperturbed by the cold temperatures. The road was sound, tar covered and metalled with the familiar grey chips. Logan had made sure that access from the house deep in the bush would be easy.
“Christian conference.” Leslie’s gentle voice cut across Hana’s rambling thoughts. Her hazel eyes locked onto Hana’s deep green ones with a knowing look. “Last night’s guests. They used the ball room for a Christian conference. They were nice people. None of them would have aimed a brick at a glass door with someone sat right behind it. Hell, they wouldn’t have known where to find a brick!”
“We know it wasn’t them.” Hana’s comment had an edge of exhaustion to it, causing Leslie to raise her eyebrows in concern.
“Promise me it’s not your heart again?” the old lady begged, referring to the massive heart attack Hana had suffered almost a year ago. The vehicle swerved as Leslie looked pointedly at Hana and took her eyes off the road too long.
“Careful!” Hana grew annoyed. “It’s not my heart, at least, it wasn’t!” She bit her lip and looked out of the window at the passing bush, the weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders.
Leslie drove up the mountain road in silence and Hana used the welcome relief to try and process her own thoughts. But ten minutes was not long enough to even get beyond planning that night’s dinner and they arrived at the metal farm gate far too quickly. Leslie hauled her body out of the ute to open the gate and then drove the vehicle through, leaving it open behind them.
Hana’s home was new and stylishly constructed. Logan had designed it in his head throughout his childhood and commissioned the build after their wedding. It was completed whilst the couple travelled in Europe on a belated honeymoon and Hana returned to New Zealand and moved in, enjoying the newness of the house amidst its ancient surroundings. Leslie rolled the truck under the covered porch adjoining the hardwood front doors and Hana hopped out and walked back along the drive to close the gate. She lingered for a moment by the old kauri tree which stood guard over the land, studying the list of Du Rose names inscribed in its elderly bark.
From this angle the house looked stunning. Long and low, it occupied a third of a green paddock covered in lush, sweet grass. Logan intended to landscape it into gardens but since they had been home, work on the hotel and farm, in addition to the merging of their property with his half-brother’s, had demanded all his time. Hana quite liked it as it was, natural and unspoiled by human hands. Behind the house, a railed metal fence prevented their baby daughter falling over the sheer cliff which faced west, the wide expanse of the Tasman Sea and Port Waikato below. Hana closed her eyes and remembered her first visit here. Logan had carried an entire picnic in his saddle blanket and shyly showed her this land, left to him by his paternal grandmother. In her will, she told him to ‘build a house’ and he had. But the physical structure was only a representation of the strong family and subsequent legacy that he struggled to birth, from the ruins of the Du Rose name.
The roof of the house was constructed from dark brown concrete tile which muffled the sound of the driving rain that often came at night. Dark brick and tinted windows protected the interior from the baking sun, although Hana had missed this year’s New Zealand summer, swapping it for an English winter. Inside, the house was full of wide open spaces and skylights which allowed plenty of light in. Hana loved it.
In the noisy bushland outside the gate, an old tui bird cackled and trilled high up in the branches of the kauri. Hana shielded her eyes with her hand and stared up through the canopy, blinded by sunlight as the winter clouds parted and dazzling rays peeked through. Hana’s eyes watered and she stepped back involuntarily, staggering over a tree root. Strong hands gripped her upper arms and through her sun-induced-tears, Hana saw Leslie’s hazy silhouette.
“Careful girl!” she exclaimed, supporting Hana’s slight frame as the younger woman mopped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. “Please tell me what’s wrong?” The old lady’s voice sounded agonised as she shook Hana slightly, her fingers digging into the delicate flesh and feeling bone.
Hana exhaled heavily. “I’m pregnant!”
Leslie’s mouth dropped, giving her the appearance of a gaping trout and she let go of Hana abruptly. “Pregnant, again?”
Anger filled Hana’s throat as her long-buried redheaded temper flared unexpectedly at her mother-in-law’s reaction. “Yes, again! Pregnant at forty-seven. Don’t you think I know how disgusting everyone will find it? I’m a grandmother and I’m expecting a baby. It’s hideous, I’m hideous!”
Hana put both hands over her face and felt hot tears course down her cheeks. How could I say that? Is that really what I think? Guilt compounded her misery and she redirected her anger at herself. She had made it sound as though she didn’t want her baby, when in reality it was fear that consumed her. Hana had known for weeks what was wrong. Visiting her grown up son in Hamilton on her return from overseas, she called in on her old doctor on the off chance, hoping to find medication for the niggling stomach upset that didn’t seem to want to go away. “I think I caught something when we were in Paris,” she said, blissfully ignorant.
“You certainly did!” he laughed, holding up the vibrant yellow urine sample and waving the tell-tale stick at her.
Leslie’s arms were comfortingly strong as she wrapped them around Hana and the younger woman sighed and leaned into her. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself!” Leslie chided. “You’re beautiful and if I hear you call yourself hideous again, I will beat your ass all the way down that driveway to the bottom of the mountain and back up again!” The old lady sounded fierce and Hana didn’t doubt she meant every word. “Logan must be thrilled!” she said, adding another hefty squeeze. “No wonder he was so tender with youse this morning, carrying you up the stairs and all...” Her voice tailed off at the look on Hana’s face.
“Don’t start! I keep meaning to tell him and then something else happens. Why do you think I came down to the hotel this morning? He left so early and I thought I might catch him at morning tea and then the window broke.”
“He doesn’t know?” Leslie looked and sounded appalled. “Well you better get a move on girlie. He ain’t gonna be too happy when you’ve got a belly out here and...” Her jaw dropped again as she seized Hana’s over large sweater hem in both hands and pulled upwards, ignoring the hands that tried to slap hers. “Oh good Lord! You do have a belly out here! How pregnant are you girl?”
“Mind your own business!” Hana’s retort was sharp as she wrenched the material out of Leslie’s hands and hauled it back over her protruding stomach. Her stretching skin felt taut and paper thin under her shaking fingers.
“How does your husband not notice a belly like that? Him what’s all doey eyed over you.”
“Well you didn’t notice when I had to strip off to my underwear.” Hana stuck her nose in the air triumphantly.
“I was more worried about all the glass over you, girlie. I weren’t checking you out. But your husband can’t keep his eyes off you. I dunno how he’s missed that one right under his kanekane.”
“I distract him,” Hana admitted, the coyness of her face disappearing back under the mask of rage as Leslie chuckled wickedly.
“Obviously!”
Hana squared her shoulders and tried to regain her composure, strutting back up her driveway at speed. She could hear her mother-in-law wheezing as her blancmange body struggled to keep up. Back at the car, Hana rounded on her, “I’ll put Phoe to bed and then you can take the truck back down to the hotel. I’ll text Logan and ask him to bring it back up later on.”
“You ain’t getting rid of me that fast, young lady. Not unless you want me to get on the radio and send your husband straight up here. I’ll put my moko to bed and you put the jug on. I’m gonna need a strong coffee in front of me for the details of this one!”
Phoenix’s dark curls bobbed on her head as she lay sprawled over Leslie’s shoulder. The septuagenarian’s buttocks wobbled from side to side on her meaty legs as she negotiated the wide hallway down to the little girl’s room. Hana stood in the kitchen on the other side of the house and watched the aqua water moving around in the distant seascape. There wasn’t an ounce of blood between Leslie and Phoenix and yet the woman had adopted her as her own grandchild from the start, fiercely coveting time with the baby. Logan’s own mother had died the night before Phoenix made her traumatic entrance into the world, birthed under the old kauri tree at the top of the drive, early but determined to thrive. Miriam Du Rose had walked into a house fire deliberately, intending to die with her lover, Reuben Du Rose, Logan’s birth father. Her death was a terrible shock, not least to her husband of almost fifty years, Alfred, but also to Logan, who had no idea that his uncle was his father.
Leslie humphed as she came into the enormous room and bustled over to the kettle. “You didn’t even fill it up,” she chuntered at Hana but the other woman remained lost in her own thoughts.
“Sorry.”
Leslie fiddled around with the kettle and found some mugs, preparing the drinks wordlessly, perhaps understanding that Hana was miles away with her problems. Plonking the steaming drinks down on the centre island, she seized Hana’s arm and forced her to sit down on one of the fancy bar stools lined up underneath the counter. Hana sat obediently but pushed the coffee mug away from her, pulling a face. Leslie smirked. “So obviously, you must be just inside the first trimester, seeing as you threw up at the house and can’t drink coffee,” Leslie looked pleased with her deductions. “How come you’re showing so big though?”
Hana pulled a face and ran her hand over her eyes. Leslie sipped her drink and Hana could almost hear her brain calculating. “So when did you fall pregnant then? When you got home?”
Hana shook her head. “No. It happened in Paris. I know when it was.”
Leslie’s aged face appeared even more wrinkled as she screwed it up to concentrate. “But you were in Paris in April and it’s almost the end of July. That can’t be right. You’re not...three months gone, are you?”
“Worse,” Hana let out a huge sigh. “I’m getting on for four and I still haven’t told my husband.”
Leslie’s eyes bugged in her head and then she tried to disguise her misgivings, “Aw honey, what’s the worst he can say?”
Chapter 3
Calving began early and Logan arrived home late, falling into bed after a shower. Hana traced a lazy finger down his damp skin and he enclosed her hand in his before his breathing deepened and he slid into an exhausted sleep. Unable to settle, Hana got up and went to the kitchen, making hot milk for herself and getting her treasured book out of the change bag housing Phoenix’s things.
Its hard backed, fabric cover was brown and aged and the pages inside were yellowed and speckled with mildew. Hana stroked the diary, one of many, written by Logan’s paternal grandmother - the original Phoenix Du Rose. A box of objects the previous summer had been dropped off by the marae elder, left with his family for safekeeping by the old lady, only months before her unexpected death. He had held onto them for more than forty years, waiting for the right moment. “Keep them,” she told the kaumatua, “keep them until the mountain is joined and only then, pass them onto my mokopuna, Logan.”
The later diaries made hard reading, detailing the argument between her two sons, Alfred and Reuben. The older brother stole Reuben’s sweetheart after a spat between the soul-mates and Reuben had been devastated. Miriam had produced three children for Alfred, but her youngest belonged to Reuben. Phoenix had divided the mountain, giving a smaller share to the disgraced son who was widowed with young children of his own, condemning them to scratch a living away from the homestead. She bitterly regretted her actions, missing her favoured son dreadfully, but couldn’t reverse her decision. So she put her energies into Logan, showering him with everything that Reuben should have had, instructing him in Māori lore, tikanga and kawa and instilling in him a bond with the land which would never be broken. And then she died, unexpectedly and much too early. Logan was there with her on the site of the house he now slept in, unable to prevent her death, sitting with her until it was past dark and knowing in his five year old head - she wouldn’t wake up.
While Alfred’s lack of business sense on one side of the mountain ruined a thriving family business, Reuben’s keen mind and skilled accounting went to waste, decimating his land without the will to make it into anything special. After his death in the fire, accumulated debt made his sons unable to keep the property and when Nev, the oldest of Reuben’s offspring offered it to Logan, he had taken it, keeping his half-brother on as manager. The land had joined and before the ink was even dry on the documents, the kaumatua had come and offloaded his burden in the shape of six extremely large and ratty cardboard boxes.
This diary was dated April 1968 and spoke of a time when Phoenix Du Rose was queen of all she surveyed. Despite the fabled Du Rose curse that had killed her husband, she built her farm into the biggest employer in the area. The locals bitched about the family in the township, but were happy to take her cash to pay their bills.
As the hot milk went to war with Hana’s indigestion, she donned a pair of white cotton gloves and began to read. Will, the museum curator at the hotel would be cross with her if he had seen Hana in the family room, touching the elderly artifact without gloves. Hana cringed as she opened the diary and glass tinkled down onto the worktop. The spine made a horrid cracking sound as Hana tapped it lightly to make the rest fall out. “Sorry, Will,” she whispered, leafing through to find her place and losing herself in Phoenix’s memories.
The next page decried the behaviour of Reuben’s late wife. Reuben and Alfred had married sisters from the wider whānau, continuing the mess of interbreeding and bad genetics.
‘Antoinette is a ridiculous girl. Does she think we are all such fools that we don’t know what she’s been doing? Her father is perfectly well. I saw him in Ngaruawahia last week at the marae, yet Reuben tells me his wife is away taking care of her dying father. Miriam knows nothing of his ‘illness’ and yet, she would be the first to know. She went strangely quiet when I asked her about her sister’s return.
The blond drover is gone, so at least their affair is at an end. Reuben hit him so hard, his head left a notch in the doorframe. It set the disease off in Reuben’s fingers and will be a while before he is able to use his left hand. Foolish boy. It was lucky he didn’t kill him but the man left soon after, JD said. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had killed him and buried the body.’
Hana’s jaw went slack and then she closed it again. Nothing about the Du Roses would surprise her. She smoothed her glove over the black ink. “Who’s JD, Phoenix?” she asked the dead writer. JD had been mentioned numerous times before. “Who is your mysterious man?” It was clear from her writing that he was a trusted confidante of Phoenix Du Rose. The diary went on to detail herd and dairy prices and things that didn’t interest Hana in the slightest. The family had introduced the Charolaise cattle and ventured into raising beef at the beginning of the 70’s. The creamy white beasts roamed the mountainsides, prime purebred after forty years of careful breeding. They were shaggy coated and muscular, many of the females sold internationally as breeding dams.
What Hana really loved about reading the diaries, was the history of the family into which her daughter had been born, adding a context to the sprawling land and lives lived on it over almost two centuries. Phoenix Du Rose was a hard woman, mainly through necessity but also genetics. At her rangatira father’s death, a brooch disappeared from his coffin, thought to have been stolen by her wayward, drunkard husband, Henri. When Henri died a few months later of his haemophilia, legends of the Du Rose Curse were born, involving tales of divine retribution for the theft of the tapu object. But Phoenix was the thief, keeping the brooch hidden from the questing hands of her sister. The diary had revealed her guilty sixty year secret - but sadly not the brooch.
Hana yawned and covered her mouth, her well-bred English manners winning through even though nobody else saw. The hair prickled at the back of her neck like a ghostly hand stroking her and Hana swung round on her stool, feeling as though she was being watched. The house was so far from the hotel and even further from the township, she and Logan never closed the curtains, not even in their bedroom. The prickling feeling persisted and she got off her stool and went to the window. Blackness stared back at her, but it unnerved Hana enough to drop the blinds over the sink and pull the drapes across the ranch slider. She shivered, wondering whether to wake Logan, but he was exhausted and would be up before light if calving had started already.
Turning back to the diary, Hana immersed herself in a tale which went back more than forty years. There were more herd prices, physical logs of profits as though Phoenix had used the diary as an account book and then came an interesting entry.
‘Reuben won’t talk to me about it. He has allowed his unfaithful wife to just come home as though nothing happened. Women from the Ngapuhi tribe at the sale yards yesterday told me where she’s been; hiding up north until delivered of her pakeha spawn. It’s not that she’s borne a white-man’s child that has made me angry, but she is married to my son! They say the child is so white haired she cannot possibly be Reuben’s. He angers me with his indifference. I don’t understand.’
“But you will.” Hana stroked the pages sadly. Reuben’s affair with Miriam had stretched decades. It was a wonder poor Alfred had managed to father any children at all with his own wife and a miracle that Logan was the only one belonging to his brother. Hana pondered the identity of the white haired child or where she was now. A dawning realisation began in her breast, curdling the milk in her stomach and reviving the mild morning sickness she had mistaken as a bug. Hana took the book over to the sink, knowing she was going to retch but not wanting to stop reading.
Nothing. The pages rambled on about local people, the staple gossip of the township documented by an intelligent and literate woman, whose skill with the pen had increased visibly over the years from illiterate to gifted. Jack, the deaf stable manager had taught Phoenix to read and write - or so the rumours said. The earliest writings had been almost unintelligible and fraught with error.
Hana turned the pages, doing her best not to damage them. The gloves frustrated her and she removed them, hoping Will wouldn’t somehow know she had handled the artifact with her bare hands. Towards the end of the book and into 1970 came two revelations, bisected by more numbers and accounts. Hana had been dreading the first, but expected at some point to come across the second. It was about Logan. In historical time, Logan’s conception had eclipsed the first disaster but for Hana, the first was far more damaging now, in real time.
‘Antoinette’s bastard has arrived. My father would be turning in the urupa. The northern tribe cannot control her. She is demon possessed. She has hair the colour of morning frost and Reuben has allowed her to stay! My son is a fool and I have told him so. I cannot look at the child. She vexes Reuben’s boys to distraction and is artful and wicked, even though she is only five years old. She has ruin in her soul.’
Hana began to skim read, not finding what she wanted, frustration burning as her fingers turned the pages.
‘I could kill him! I knew he was being untrue. Miriam has the makings of a pregnancy she has been at pains to hide and Alfred has been gone for months. Reuben looked like a whipped dog since Antoinette’s death and I had thought it was grief, in addition to being left to care for the demon child. It is guilt. My sons have outdone themselves this time. Why must they carry this tragedy forward? Miriam’s child is Reuben’s and I feel a fool. Only last month, I convinced Alfred to return home and save his marriage. He is due this week, once he has finished up working for my sister’s family. This disaster will carry forward through the generations and we will be damned.’
Hana skimmed. This was old news and not what she was looking for. And then she found it.
‘23rd March 1971
It is my own fault. I should have anticipated this with us all residing in one house. Miriam’s boy child is the image of his father and to my shame, I favour him above the others. The woman has been low in spirits since the birth, which is little wonder with what is happening around her. She is tearful and I fear for her mind. There was a fight today when Alfred walked in and discovered his brother cradling the baby. He attacked him even though Reuben was holding the child. The mother was bereft. Reuben has agreed to leave the property and take his family with him. We have no choice and we rode up to the high point to work it out. I am devastated.’
Hana raised her eyebrows in interest. Legend told that Phoenix Du Rose threw her son off the property and divided the mountain - but it wasn’t true. This was the proof. But the written words hadn’t finished with their final punch.
‘Reuben’s boys are becoming out of control and it would be best to remove them from the rest of the whānau. Kane, in particular is showing signs of derangement. That girl has been the undoing of my son’s legacy; she is unhinged and her demons are spreading. He feels he can exercise better control over them away from an audience. Reuben will leave tomorrow with Kane and Neville and set up a makeshift camp on the eastern side of the mountain and return for the girl. Until then, Miriam is left to look after her sister’s bastard. Reuben wishes to adopt her but that is one thing I will not allow. She will never be a Du Rose. Caroline Marsh she will remain, until long after I am dead and in the urupa.’
Hana dropped the book onto the draining board as sickness enveloped her and she retched into the stainless steel sink without control.
Chapter 4
It wasn’t just the fact that Logan almost married Caroline, which affected Hana so badly, or the woman’s destructive influence on their early relationship. It was that Alfred and Miriam had knowingly almost allowed the disaster to happen. Reuben too. It was painful for Logan that Reuben and Caroline conspired to rip him off; organising a wedding that would never happen and using alleged debt from it to secure the flat piece of land on the mountaintop. Forty years of buried grief had made Reuben ruthless and dangerous in his desperation for contact with his son. But it destroyed everything, forcing Logan into legal action and financial ruin for his birth father. Probably all Reuben ever wanted was a face-to-face conversation, a traditional hui in which he would undoubtedly reveal his ace of spades. It was the one time Logan Du Rose had done things by the book and it had taken everyone by surprise.
Hana ran water into her hand and sipped it, hoping the sickness had finally abated, her hot milk long gone down the plug hole and into the septic tank underneath the driveway. And then she remembered something far worse and the retching began again. A recalled conversation with Leslie returned to her. “I see that that Marsh girl finally got her hooks into a Du Rose! You’d think that poroheahea Kane would ‘ave more sense. She’s been poison to them boys their whole life and now he’s stuck with her. She’ll be thrilled. Hankered after that name as long as she’s ‘ad breath. Wahine kairau!” Leslie spat on the ground with force, realising too late that she’d gobbed on the kitchen floor.
Guilt seized Hana and she pushed her face further into the sink. “I pushed them together,” she moaned, her voice echoing against the metal. “It’s my fault! But I knew he loved her.” The nausea was Hana’s punishment and she stayed there, trying not to think of gorgeous blond Caroline dangling the Du Rose men, including Logan, like a spider toying with flies in her copious web. Them and many others.
“Oh God, please forgive me,” Hana pleaded out loud, laying her sweaty forehead on her arms. Her breaths came heavy and hard won as she pushed the aged diary away from her, no longer caring that it was out in the open air and decaying by the second. It had morphed from a treasured thing to a cursed.
The obvious fact remained that in finally securing the Du Rose name, Caroline Marsh had unwittingly married her half-brother. Hana felt ill. She knew sleep would never come now. Her cell phone was charging in the enormous lounge and she turned the light on, feeling that same creeping sense of being watched. Drawing all the curtains around the room she grabbed her phone and sent a hurried text to the museum curator. ‘Massive problem with this last diary. I think we need to destroy it! Talk tomorrow.’
Will was in his late sixties and had been the archivist for the large marae in Ngaruawahia, which was the seat of the royal kīngitanga. Diabetes robbed him of his legs from above the knees and Hana engaged his services to restore the contents of Phoenix Du Rose’s treasures the previous year. When Logan approved her hair brained scheme to display the family heirlooms in an on-site museum, to her surprise he employed the disabled man to set it up. Will moved from Hamilton to the hotel while Hana and Logan were in Europe and occupied a room in one of the motel suites on the property. Logan employed Will’s son as his carer, helping him practically in his quest for normality. It was a blessing for the family following the man’s redundancy at the Hamilton sawmill. Will’s son was an enormous Māori man, terrifying to look at with his ta moko tattoos covering his face, but gentle as a puppy and tender with his father. Logan also gave him work as a groundsman.
Hana huddled down on her knees next to the wood burner, trying to settle her stomach and draw comfort from the heat. It was two thirty in the morning so Will wouldn’t text back until he started work and the fire was almost spent. She shivered, dropping her phone in surprise as it rang in her hand. Hana wasn’t even given the chance to greet the caller.
“You destroy an artifact in my care, woman and I’ll whoop your pretty ass all the way back up that mountain you live on!”
“Why are you up?” Hana felt the sickness of anticipation return to her guts.
“Because some damn woman started textin’ me!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Na, me an’ me boy’ve been watching the rugby. I’m likin’ this Sky TV thing. Ain’t never been able to watch them international games before. This’n was All Blacks versus Springbok. They’s eatin’ dirt now them green an’ yellas. That’ll teach ‘em.”
Hana toyed with the idea of politely asking the score but she knew Will wouldn’t tell her. She had never managed to fool him yet and this was not the exception.
“So, what’s your problem, bro? And don’t bother askin’ bout the rugby cos I know you don’t care. What you wantin’ to destroy?” His voice sounded hoarse down the phone line. He’d probably been shouting at the TV. He had been known to get so excited that he pitched himself out of his wheelchair.
“It’s this damn diary of Phoenix’s,” Hana tiptoed over and closed the lounge double doors, a ridiculous effort as Logan and her baby were miles away at the other end of the house. “She’s said the most awful things about family members. If this gets out it’ll cause a whole heap of trouble for a lot of people.”
“History’s like that the world over, girlie. It’s the nature of the thing. Your husband employs me to take care of the truth and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“I’ve got two choices here,” Hana tried to be firm with him. “Either I destroy it and nobody is the wiser, or I rip out the offending pages...”
“Rip out!” Will’s shout echoed in Hana’s ear and she had to hold the phone away and wait for the sound to finish pinging around her ear drum. “Don’t you bloody dare!”
“You don’t understand. Someone’s married their half-brother without realising. Oh dear God,” a terrible thought occurred to Hana and she sent up a further plea to the God of Heaven. “If they have children, it could be a disaster! Besides which, they’ve broken the law. Oh this is awful,” she flapped. “We have to destroy it.”
“You return that bloody book to me in one piece tomorrow or I quit! You hear me, madam? I’ll be inspecting every damn page and if I find anything missin’, I’m done here.”
Hana gulped and nodded, hearing a hiss of exasperation as Will couldn’t see her. “I feel sick,” she said, to no-one in particular and he humphed loudly.
“You will if you touch that diary!”
“Ok, ok, we’ll talk tomorrow.” Exhaustion settled on Hana like a shroud.
“Fine,” Will said with an edge of grumpiness. “Come to the museum and we’ll talk. But remember what I said, girlie. Touch it and we’re done!”
Will rang off, leaving Hana feeling no better than she had before. “I should have just burned it,” she said to the dying embers. “He wouldn’t have noticed.” But she knew he would. He was an incredible archivist and catalogued everything that passed through his hands. He would have missed it eventually and no amount of blagging would have gotten Hana out of trouble then.
Hana hid the tattered diary full of its damaging secrets in her underwear drawer. Some wicked part of her nature acknowledged the innate glee that wrecking Caroline’s new life would bring, but a bigger part urged the need for self-preservation. Whilst Caroline was busy in Christchurch with her new husband, hopefully not producing incestuous two-headed babies, she wasn’t pestering Logan or trying to destroy Hana’s marriage. Hana crawled into the massive four poster bed with her husband, edging across towards his warmth and touching various parts of his satisfyingly hot skin to see if he reacted. He grunted and shifted in bed, until she risked it and put her freezing cold feet on his bare legs. “Geez, woman!” he complained, wakened with a start. “Have you been outside?”
“No, I can’t sleep.”
“Well I was managing just fine, but now that I’m disturbed...” Logan put his warm hands up under Hana’s nightshirt and she giggled, her cares and worries temporarily pushed into the background, as her husband set about restoring her body temperature to a little above normal.
Chapter 5
Hana’s dream was peculiar, involving a ringing cell phone and some kind of lost cat. It was persistent, intruding on her slumber without mercy, stopping and then starting again for what seemed like hours. She gave up searching for the cat and allowed herself to be pulled from sleep, not surprised to discover the cat was unreal, but astounded to find the ringing phone was. “Yes.”
Her greeting was abrupt and there was a pause at the other end. Then he let rip, “Where’s that diary? I’ve been waiting for you for hours. Get yourself down here now and let me see it. You’ll be the death of me, girlie.”
Hana yawned and looked gormlessly at the clock in the right-hand corner of the phone’s screen, taking it away from her ear to do so. She could still hear Will shouting, “Do you ‘ear me?”
“I was up all night, I wasn’t...”
“I’m not interested in what you were doing with your evening.” Will sounded beyond agitated. “I saw your man earlier and I’ve got a fair idea from the smile on his face. Get your pretty ass down ‘ere and quick!”
Hana flopped back on the comfy pillows. It was half past ten in the morning. Logan had put her mobile phone on his pillow next to her, along with a carefully written note in his perfectly scripted left-handed writing.
‘Leslie’s got Phoe. You looked so peaceful and our girl was up so I thought I’d leave you. Jack fetched us so the ute up top with you. Come down when you feel like it. Thirty calves in two days, not bad. Only lost two so far.’
Hana rubbed her eyes, finding them crusty and horrid with sleep. Getting out of bed to get a shower she checked her bedside table. The diary was still buried in the top drawer, snuggled between a pair of sexy red knickers and a friendly old, greying pair that were actually her favourite. She kind of hoped it would have been spirited away in the night somehow, like an answer to prayer. Deliberately delaying her fate, Hana wasted time cleaning the kitchen sink she had spent half an hour barfing into earlier. Then she locked up, started the ute and drove down to the hotel, the diary bouncing carelessly on the passenger seat.
Will waited for her in the museum. His wheelchair faced the door and his arms were folded across his chest, his face set in a practiced snarl. He held his hand out for the diary straight away. “You look like crap,” he said after he had pulled on a pair of cotton gloves and checked the spine for evidence of ripped pages.
“Thanks,” Hana said sarcastically. “I told you I was sick.”
“Not on this, I hope?” He shook the diary at her and inspected the pages all over again. Hana sighed and huffed like a sulky teenager. Will moved his spectacles down his nose and eyed her with amusement. “What’s with you at the moment?”
Hana hurled herself into one of the elderly chairs along the wall of the museum. Her shoulders slumped and she ran a hand over her tired eyes. “Lots of stuff. I’m fine.” She indicated the diary with a stabbing finger. “That’s not helping! You have no idea how defamatory it is. I want to get rid of it. If you won’t burn it, then at least find somewhere to hide it, where it can’t hurt anyone it relates to.”
Will wheeled himself over to Hana and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. They spent the next hour discussing the diary and the implications, should its damaging contents ever become widely known.
“Have you ever stood inside and watched the rain pour down a window?” Will asked. Hana nodded. “A life is like that, see. It runs down fast, finding a way through obstacles, joinin’ with others or runnin’ alone. It leaves the bottom and is gone. The sun dries the window and there’s nothin’ to see anymore, except a faint trail. That’s what people come seekin’; that faint trail. We don’t have the right to wipe it out as though it never happened.”
Will placed his large, arthritic fingers over Hana’s pale, delicate ones, gripping them gently. A high blush of shame worked its way steadily into her cheeks. Will moved so that his brown eyes were close to Hana’s, forcing her to look at him. “Honey, we’re the guardians of the past, not the judges. And besides, e hara i te mea, he kotahi tangata nāna i whakaara i tō pō.”
“What does that mean?” Hana asked, irritated by the old man’s lapse into his native tongue. Will smiled sadly and drew his gnarled hand across his mouth. “Listen up good girlie, it means this: It was not one man alone who was awake in the dark times.” At Hana’s still obvious confusion he explained, “Never take one viewpoint for history; it’s dangerous. There’s always more than one way of seeing the past.” He waved the tattered diary under Hana’s nose. A small section of the fabric spine fell off and fluttered into his lap. Hana contemplated pointing it out, wanting the old man to know she hadn’t done it - he had. But her motivation was childish and she kept quiet. “I can restrict this for seventy years, or until everyone involved is dead. I’ll seal it and lodge it somewhere, but I ain’t destroying it, my love. It’s not how you safeguard history and youse know that.”
Will bobbed his head as he touched Hana’s arm lightly. His hair was thinning on his brown head and he had lost weight since moving up to the hotel. Getting to work for him involved great physical activity, wheeling himself down the road and up the ramp into the museum entrance. It had forced him to get busy and his zest for life was visibly increased. His wrinkled hands reminded Hana of her father’s, thousands of miles away in England. She missed him and the sensation bit with unexpected force, stealing the colour from her cheeks as she remembered the tearful goodbye at Heathrow Airport. Her fingers strayed involuntarily to her stomach, wondering if her child would ever meet his Scots grandfather and when she looked up, Will’s eyes watched her with a knowing expression.
A slight smile played on his dark lips and Hana’s face impeached him, begging him not to ask. The elderly man respected her plea and didn’t refer to his opportunist’s knowledge. “You promise you’ll lock it up safe? Nobody will see it.” Hana stood up feeling strangely light headed.
“I promise,” Will assured her. “As long as youse remember one thing, little one. We all comes to a point where we crave the route home to us roots. Don’t matter how old we get, life has a beginnin’ and an end and them’s what can’t see the whole story feels permanently lost. One day, maybe long after I’m gone, you might have to hand this book over to them’s what comes lookin’ because it’s a witness statement of their life. It’s their route map home. As long as youse never lose sight of that, youse gonna know when that time is.”
Hana stumbled from the museum feeling stressed and ill. She roamed the hotel searching for her daughter and husband. Logan came to his own conclusions concerning his failed wedding to Caroline Marsh, believing the whole thing to be a sham. Hana now knew for sure that he’d been played by a ruthless Reuben Du Rose, but perhaps so had Caroline. The other woman had genuinely loved Logan in her own sick, controlling way. She possibly had no clue that Reuben would stop the marriage somehow. For whatever else Reuben was guilty of, the diaries made it clear; he would abide by his mother’s wishes, until time immemorial.
As Hana searched the family areas for her lover and child, Miriam Du Rose’s words clanged forcefully in her mind, spoken on Hana’s wedding night when they were alone together in the kitchen. “Keep him away from her. Promise me?”
Logan and Caroline. Not just lovers, but cousins.
Chapter 6
Hana didn’t find Logan or Phoenix in the busy hotel and her travels took her down to the stable yard behind the main building. The deaf stable manager, Jack supervised the farrier as he tried to trim the feet of one of the nastiest brood mares. Rawhiti, the stable lad, attempted to occupy her as she fought to take lumps out of the farrier’s bent backside. Jack was in his nineties, bent over and wizened by age but he missed nothing. Hana closed the gate after her and walked towards them, feeling an odd sensation as her child kicked out at her bladder. Please stop, she implored the child in her belly.
