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- Herausgeber: novum publishing
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
Fleeing from Syria to a foreign country during the civil war is anything but easy. It is an authentic life story: the Al Said family dares to take the courageous step, traveling with six children and leaving relatives, home and everything familiar behind to find their luck in an uncertain future. The road is not easy, but the family single-mindedly finds a way to come to Germany, where countless challenges await them. A different culture, a foreign language and scarce financial resources. But with the help of many open, helpful Germans, the family's integration begins to succeed. The courage to not give up and start a new life despite many hurdles and traumatic experiences is admirable.
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Seitenzahl: 183
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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Fleeing Syria with six children
The fate of the Al Said family
Table of contents
Introduction
I. Life in Syria
II. Civil war in Syria
III. Escape from Syria
IV. Family reunification
- A life in a confined space
V. New life in the Berlin area
VI. Arrived in Germany?
VII. When is integration a success?
Introduction
The debate about migration, limiting refugees, reducing social benefits and integration is the top issue in domestic politics and will certainly remain so for a long time to come. Even if the fall of Bachar al-Assad in Syria seems to have eased the refugee crisis somewhat, the fundamental problem remains: overpopulation, poverty and wars in many countries will cause more and more people to flee to Europe, Canada, the U.S., Australia and New Zealand in the future. We must learn to deal with this problem. This true story shows how this challenge can be solved for the benefit of us all.
Above all, it is about resolving contradictions:
We urgently need workers, but do not allow refugees to work: The trained care worker in a refugee camp is condemned to inactivity, even though staff are urgently needed in the nursing home next door.
The right to asylum applies to people who are politically persecuted, but there is an increasing number of economic migrants who do not have the right to stay. The immigration authorities cannot take sufficient care of politically persecuted people because economic migrants are clogging up the application channels.
Immigration authorities and courts are suffocating under mountains of paper, although everyone knows that digitalized and streamlined procedures would lead to more efficient and therefore more humane treatment of refugees.
The refugee problem is urgent
, yet politicians are only half-heartedly addressing this issue, with the result that radical parties are gaining strength and democracy is in danger.
This makes it all the more important to also talk about integration successes and show how effective and humane integration can succeed for the benefit of us all.
That's why I want to use this book to tell the story of the Al Said family, who, like so many Syrian families, fled to Germany in an adventurous way to find a new home here.
The Al Said family has been living in a small town near Berlin since 2018. The family consists of Ahmad (44) and Amal (39) and their six children Lina (19), Osman (18), Jamila (16), Jasmin (14), Halima (13) and Mohamed (10). Both parents are now employed, Ahmad works in the local nursing home and Amal in the canteen of the elementary school. All the children are in vocational training or at school and have goals for their lives in Germany. The family is well integrated into the neighborhood and feels at home.
I helped Osman, Jasmin, Halima and Mohamed with their homework in Math, German and English. Through the children, I got to know the parents, who told me about their lives as refugees over delicious tea. I found the story so fascinating that I decided to write it down.
I want to tell the story as authentically as possible, so I let the family describe their traumatic escape story and their experiences here in Germany largely themselves. I have translated their statements into my own language to make the text easier to read. I also conducted interviews with the helpers who got to know the family in different life situations and contributed to their integration.
To protect the family, I have anonymized all sensitive, personal data such as proper names of people and some location names. As a result, the family is not pictured. The student Alexandra has kindly agreed to graphically enrich the experiences with her drawings.
I. Life in Syria
Ahmad was born in 1980 as the sixth child of the Al Said family. He lived with his nine siblings, six sisters and three brothers, in a wealthy family. His father, a successful businessman, owned a clothing store with five to six employees in the bazaar of Sayyidah Zainab, a small town with 135,000 inhabitants, ten kilometers south of Damascus.
In this city lies the large, beautiful old mosque where the tomb of Zainab, the granddaughter of Muhammad's daughter, is located. This tomb is an important pilgrimage site for the Shiite faithful, so that many thousands of pilgrims, mainly from Iran, but also from Lebanon, Iraq and Syria itself, visit this tomb every year. After the religious ceremonies, the bazaar was the first place to go to eat, shop and buy presents for relatives and friends. This is how the Al Said family achieved modest prosperity, which helped them to live a comfortable life in peace.
As is usual in Syria, Ahmad's mother took full care of the numerous children and the many visits from relatives and friends. The family home had three floors and a total of twelve rooms, so there was enough space for the large family.
Ahmad's childhood and youth
Ahmad, how did you feel about your childhood in Syria?
"I look back on my childhood with a lot of positive thoughts: my parents and siblings looked after me, I had a lot of fun with my siblings and my friends. I spent my free time without the electronics that are common today, my father didn't want a TV either and, looking back, that wasn't a bad thing at all. We played a lot of soccer, went to the movies and I learned taekwondo in a club. We collected bottle caps and made little toy cars out of them. We made bicycle rims roll, we shot birds and then barbecued them, we had little wrestling matches; all with a lot of imagination, which today's children no longer know. Once a month we visited the gravesite of our ancestors, prayed and laid a bouquet of flowers on the grave. But we children didn't take these rituals too seriously. After a few days, the bouquet dried and we used it to make bows and arrows with which we shot at targets.
Of course, I have special memories of the end of the annual Ramadan festival. It was celebrated for three days, we received gifts of money and sweets, we went shopping with our parents and were even allowed to have a say in our choice of clothes. Even the visit to the mosque was not boring, because there was not only praying, but also a lot of singing and we met the children of friendly families on the street and at the mosque.
I also remember my father grinding coffee every morning in a trough with an old-fashioned wooden stick, as it was the tradition in our family. We were always allowed to taste it as children and it tasted delicious."
You went to school there, what memories do you have of your school days?
"I have to admit, I never liked going to school, I didn't like the strict method of learning at all. In elementary school, I learned Arabic, mathematics, history, biology, geography, the Koran, sports and music. In the 5th grade, the subject 'military' was added. Young children, girls and boys, learned, for example, how a gun works and what materials it is made of. There were 25 - 30 pupils per class. I had to wear a school uniform, which consisted of a brown jacket and an orange scarf. I also have fond memories of my primary school days, because every month the class went on an excursion to a different town or to a nature park for a picnic.
I attended secondary school from the 7th to the 8th grade. Now I had to learn a foreign language. However, the pupils weren't allowed to choose, but instead drew a lot from a drum with either 'English' or 'French' written on it. I was unlucky, I drew 'French' and had to learn the more difficult foreign language. An olive green army uniform was compulsory at secondary school. The teachers were strict, there were only front-of-class teaching and I was sometimes beaten. I once wore my cap the wrong way round. This was noticed during roll call and I was beaten and kicked over two meters into the distance. The fear of the teachers spoiled my desire
to attend school. So after six months, I fell ill in the 8th grade. You didn't need to produce a medical certificate, you were just at home. I liked that and so I pretended to be ill until something decisive happened: my parents realized that I no longer wanted to go to school. They took me out of school, which was extremely beneficial for my recovery. At that time, school was only compulsory up to and including the 7th grade, so dropping out in the 8th grade was absolutely legal.
During the summer vacation, which lasted four months, it was also common for children to work. My father wanted his sons to be well prepared for working life. So at the age of ten I was already working in the wood workshop of a family friend. It wasn't hard work, more like an internship where I learned a lot and had fun doing the woodwork. Over the next few years, I did internships in a shoe factory, a construction company and a bakery. I enjoyed all that much more than learning in the strict and therefore unpopular school."
After leaving school, Ahmad worked for his father and his older brother, who had opened his own clothing store in the meantime. This allowed him to take some of the pressure off his father, who could stay at home to rest, receive guests or visit friends.
Like all young Syrian men, Ahmad joined the army at the age of 18 and served there for two years and three months.
Ahmad, how did you feel about your time in the army?
"Compulsory military service consisted of a lot of sport, three hours a day, first basic training and then special training. I joined the artillery, where I specialized in target recognition and data, which I transmitted to the gunners so that the cannons could be optimally find their targets. I was only allowed home for six days every two months. I also took part in maneuvers that took place in the desert. I spent the night in a tent."
How did it come about that you had to serve three months longer than usual?
"We didn't usually have a program in the afternoon, and my barracks weren't far from where I lived. So it was tempting to get away from the troops unnoticed and spend the night at home. I heard from some of my comrades that they managed to do this. One day, I plucked up courage and tried to climb over the fence. Unfortunately, a guard caught me and I had to answer to him. He also accused me of instigating other comrades, which wasn't true at all. So I ended up in military prison and they shaved off all my hair. It was supposed to be ten days, but my superior got me out after two days. My superior also told me a trick that would have allowed me to leave the barracks legally, but now it was too late. The worst thing was that I had to serve three months longer. From then on, all thoughts of illicit acts vanished."
Amal's childhood and youth
Amal was born in 1985, the fifth of nine children. Her father owned a construction company with three to four employees. Her mother was a housewife and died of cancer at an early age. Just one month after her death, her father remarried and Amal had three stepbrothers and two stepsisters. The children grew up in a village with around 1,000 inhabitants near Damascus.
Amal, what memories of your childhood do you still have?
"I was a happy child until my mother died. My mother was very hospitable, so lots of children always came to play with us. There was a mountain behind our house where we collected cans and made plates and cups from them, utensils that enriched our mother-father-child play. We collected grass and bushes to prepare food for our family game. Sometimes we had picnics and each of my friends brought something to eat. My mother could sew dolls and I was very happy when I received a self-made doll as a present at the end of Ramadan. We also had lots of animals at home, so as a child I learned how to milk cows and sheep. During the vacations, I often went to grandma and grandpa's house in Quneitra on the Golan Heights, where I helped my grandparents with the potato and wheat harvest.
My life was less pleasant after the death of my mother, who died when I was twelve years old. My siblings and I didn't have a good relationship with our stepmother and somehow the harmonious family life was disrupted. I went to my aunt's or my grandparents' house as often as I could to avoid the tensions at home."
And what were your school days like?
"I actually quite liked school. I had lots of friends. At break time, I met up with a friend who apparently had a rich father. There was always a banknote hidden in a book, which was exchanged in stores for sweets and ice cream, which were also meant for me. My favorite subject was history, because I liked the trips to the Golan Heights and Damascus. The only problem was a teacher who was also our neighbor, so I felt inhibited while playing. I sometimes had to face the unpleasant question of whether I had done my homework. If I hadn't done my homework and this was noticed, I was beaten on the hands with a water hose the next morning. When I think about it, my hands still hurt today."
After school, Amal had the idea of training as a nurse, but she was not encouraged by her parents. On the contrary, her parents expected her to help around the house to look after her younger siblings. So she stayed at home, looked after the sheep and cows and learned how to make cheese and butter.
It was customary for relatives to visit each other regularly, so one day Amal went with her aunt to visit her uncle, who was Ahmad's father. Ahmad was also present at this meeting and this encounter was a fateful one for both of them, as they fell in love with each other. The engagement took place just three days later and they married a few days after that - love at first sight. Such a quick union was quite common, because if the children hesitated too much, the parents would select mates they thought were suitable. "Cupid" is then left out of the equation. As is usual in Syria, the wedding procedures are huge, expensive celebrations, but they are tradition and no one wants to escape this tradition.
The wedding celebration
Ahmad, please describe the wedding procedure:
"It was a great party and expensive, not for me, but for my father, the father of the groom. He bought a ring, several bracelets, gold earrings and a beautiful watch, which I presented to my bride at the engagement. I asked Amal's father and the appointed imam if I could marry Amal. An imam had to be present to testify that I was serious and that my father could raise enough money for the bride and the groom. My father donated about €1,000 and agreed to spend another €1,000 on furnishing the apartment. So Amal's father didn't hesitate and said yes. There was a big lunch with neighbors, friends and family. The imam took care of the formalities.
Between the engagement and the wedding, the bachelorhood was celebrated in style. Amal celebrated with her friends at home, there was singing, dancing and all her friends had henna painted."
Henna is a reddish-brown powder obtained from the dried leaves of the henna bush and applied to the skin. According to ancient beliefs, it is supposed to protect against "evil eyes" and is therefore used at births, circumcisions and weddings.
"I celebrated for two days and nights with my friends on the street, there were lights strung from house to house, showing all passers-by that something special was happening here.
We tied the knot in 2002. After breakfast, we men all went to the mosque and asked Allah to bless the new couple. Then we went to the hairdresser to have our hair styled and to a clothes store to buy new suits. As is customary, my father also paid for the new haircuts and suits for my guests. Then there was the big lunch on the street, I was allowed to sit on a throne, people joked and joked and I got more and more nervous. When everything was ready, the bride's party arrived from the neighborhood where Amal had been preparing for the wedding. She was wearing a beautiful white dress with a train and I wasn't allowed to touch her, just smile at her. The master of ceremonies of the party, which grew to about 500 people, took the microphone. He gave a short speech, wished us luck and blessings. Then he read out who had given us what gifts of money, some of them gave sheep instead of money, but we sold them immediately, because what were we supposed to do with sheep in our apartment, they were too big to cuddle.
When it got dark, the party was over and I was allowed to go into my new apartment with Amal for the first time. My father cleared out one floor of his house and furnished it with new furniture, because I wanted Amal to feel at home in our family."
The family grows
The young couple lived happily on an entire floor of the family home, where Ahmad's two brothers and three sisters lived alongside his father. It wasn't long before they were expecting a child. In January 2005, daughter Lina was born and on January 1, 2006, the birth of son Osman was announced. This was not the actual date of birth, as Osman had been born in December of the previous year, but registering births in the new year had advantages in terms of school attendance. Ahmad and Amal therefore went to the district manager later, who confirmed the birth in the family register and registered it with the city council's registration office.
Ahmad worked in his father's store, which was very profitable thanks to the tourists. Sometimes coaches arrived with tourists who came to look around Ahmad's store. The tour guide of the bus was always invited to dinner so that he would bring another swarm of tourists the next time. The potential buyers were treated to tea and juices to make them feel comfortable in the store, which boosted their buying mood. Ahmad learned some Persian and could even do the numbers in Hindi and Turkish. A special feature was that Ahmad's father, thanks to his relationships with some clothing manufacturers, was able to source branded goods of very good quality and offer them at much lower prices than in other stores.
Ahmad, how do you remember the time after starting a family?
"It was a wonderful time. I was happy with my family. We all got on very well in the big house. And my children were of course a special joy. As is usual in Syria, the day really just consisted of a perpetual party. The bazaar was open 24 hours a day. We usually opened our store at 5.00 a. m. and closed at midnight. We took turns so that our father in particular could rest at home. There was always something going on in our store and business was good. After closing time, we sometimes went to a café or restaurant with our employees, we watched soccer and played cards, sometimes until 4.00 a.m. to enjoy the coolness of the night. On Fridays, we closed at lunchtime and went to the mosque together. Some of our staff also went to the mountains to strengthen the 'we' feeling. Of course, our employees were invited. We worked with heart, my father, my brother, myself and our employees, it was one big family, we were there for each other, we laughed and chatted a lot.
