June heart meets soul pain E-Book

Freyja Fjäril

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 151

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

There is a woman, not knowing whether she will find her soul mate, but she is patient. There is a woman who knows that she can always "stand her ground" because she is strong and conscientious. She does not listen to her body's call for rest and recuperation. Diagnoses, treatments, suffering and pain are not reasons to pause. She is "a strong woman who gets back on her feet and back to life after every storm, no matter how violent." But her body can no longer. Only now, in a state of absolute powerlessness, does she begin to reflect on her life, her love, her suffering and her health. Under the pseudonym Freyja Fjäril, she writes her story, draws strength from it and encourages others to believe in themselves and in love.

Leseprobe

Foreword

At this point, I would like to express my sincere thanks to my parents, who have shaped me into the person I am today with their dedication, unlimited support and a great deal of love. Thank you to my wonderful, loving partner, who has accompanied me through the highs and lows of my life and gives me the strength and confidence I need to keep thinking positively and not give up. Love means being there for each other and never letting your partner down or alone. Love also means accepting the other person for who they are. When you say "I love you", it also means "be who you are!" Love also means opening up to each other completely and seriously in order to show yourself without having to be afraid of being judged or even rejected because of your illness.I love you!

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my two loved ones, my children. Without my children, my house would be clean and my wallet fuller, but my heart would be empty and my life less turbulent. It fulfills me to have my children around me, who put everything into perspective for me every day. Because there is no such thing as too much hugging, too much kissing, too much carrying, too much holding. We don't spoil our children by loving them too much. Because there can never be too muchLOVE!

I would also like to express my deepest gratitude to all the people and doctors who have supported me on my arduous journey.

In conclusion, I would like to thank everyone in advance for any criticism and wish all readers an insightful examination of themselves from the bottom of my heart.

- 1 -

"You open books and they open you!"

- Aitmatov -

Congratulations, my dear book friends, on purchasing my book.

I would like to tell you in advance that there will be no fictional characters in my book. The content of my book is based on a true story - my life story. I have divided my life story into 5 episodic sections. I will offer you insights into my biography, my home, Juniherz and the pain I have experienced in my soul. My life story should make you smile and reflect, motivate you totake care of yourselfand take away worries and the fears associated with them. Don't let your fear rule your life! Above all, it should convey hope and confidence and themost important thing: "Think about your health and be honest with yourself."A saying that has become extremely precious to me is:

"Take care of your body,

it's the only place you have to live!"

I would like to introduce myself briefly. This will give you a brief insight into who I am and what my life is like.

My name is Freyja, I am 42 years young and I live with my two childrenin a small rural community in East Saxony in Upper Lusatia. This is a quiet, idyllic spot on earth, which I would like to describe briefly in order to bring you a little closer to my home. And perhaps one or two readers will consider spending their next vacation here in the near future.Upper Lusatia (Oberlausitz)is a region that was originally politically independent and is now about 67% of Saxony, 30% of Poland and 3% of Brandenburg. In Saxony, Upper Lusatia roughly comprises the districts of Görlitz and Bautzen with a northern border between Hoyerswerda and Lauta and in Brandenburg the southern part of the district of Oberspreewald-Lausitz around the town of Ruhland as well as some places to the east and south of it. The part of Upper Lusatia that has been Polish since 1945, between the rivers Queis in the east and the Lausitzer Neiße in the west, belongs administratively to the Lower Silesian Voivodeship. Only a small corner around Leknica, together with the Polish part of Lower Lusatia, belongs to the Lubuskie Voivodeship. In the south, the border of Upper Lusatia corresponds to the Saxon-Czech border from Steinigtwolmsdorf in the west to Zittau and east of it to the Polish-Czech border to Tafelfichte. The old capital of Upper Lusatia is Bautzen. However, the largest city in the region isGörlitz-Zgorzelec, which is divided between Germany and Poland. Upper Lusatia got its name at the end of the 15th century from its northern neighbor, Lower Lusatia. Originally, it was only called This Lusatia, which is derived from the Slavic tribe of Lusici living there. The area that is now Upper Lusatia initially bore the Slavic nameMilska, named after the equally Slavic Milzen people. Later, around 1410, the nameLusatia wasalso adopted for the land of Buddisin. From then on, a distinction was made between Upper and Lower Lusatia. Both Lusatia regions are home to the West Slavic Sorbs.

Geomorphologically, Upper Lusatia is characterized by the uniformLusatian granite massif; only the north and northeast arePleistocenein shape. The north of the state is taken up by the flatUpper Lusatian heath and pond area. In 1996, UNESCO declared the central part of thisnatural areaabiosphere reserve of the Upper Lusatian Heath and PondLandscape- in particular to protect theotter. The central part is hilly, while the south is characterized by theLusatian Highlands. The highest elevations in what is now the German part of Upper Lusatia are in theZittau Mountains, part of theLusatian Mountains, most of which are located in theCzech Republic. The most important mountains in Upper Lusatia are: Lausche (793 m),Hochwald(749 m),Landeskrone(420 m),Löbauer Berg(448 m),Kottmar(583 m),Czorneboh(561 m, Bieleboh (499 m),Valtenberg(587 m) andMönchswalder Berg(447 m). The highest point of historic Upper Lusatia is 1072 m, around 500 m north-east of the summit on the slope of theTafelfichtein the border triangle of Upper Lusatia,Silesiaand Bohemia, while the lowest point is 92 m at the former confluence of the Grenzpulsnitz and Schwarze Elster rivers (Elsterbrücke between Lauchhammer-West and Schraden) in the district ofTettau OL, west ofRuhlandOL. All the larger rivers in Upper Lusatia flow from south to north. In the west, thePulsnitzused to form the state border with Saxony. TheSpreestarts in the very south of the state and flows through Bautzen. Today, the Lusatian Neisse forms the German-Polish border. It rises in theJizera Mountainsin Bohemia, enters Upper Lusatian territory near Zittau, flows through Görlitz and leaves the country at Bad Muskau in the direction of Lower Lusatia. In the 19th century, lignite was found in northern Upper Lusatia and in the east on both sides of the Neisse and around Hoyerswerda. Open-cast mining in particular destroyed large parts of the old cultural landscape. Many of the old open-cast lignite mines have been recultivated since the 1970s, with particular emphasis being placed on recultivating and redesigning the mining and industrial landscape after 1990. The newly created and emerging lakes are already known as the Lusatian Lakeland. The climate in Upper Lusatia is mild to warm and rainy. Around 780,000 people live in Upper Lusatia today, almost 157,000 of them in the Polish part east of the Neisse.

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oberlausitz/25.04.2023

Late Gothic parish church of St. Peter and Paul in Görlitz

The Lusatian Lakeland offers many leisure activities and is a must for water sports enthusiasts.

"A stick, a hat, a wanderer. Forward, back, to the side!" I can already see you in the picture. Relaxed and curious, thinking about me and my book as you wander through my beautiful homeland. I hope you enjoyed this insight into my home and that it has aroused your interest. So, now I've bored you enough with biographical data. And my biographical key data is also as chewing gum. If you have successfully read through my Chapter 1, I promise you that it will continue in a cheerful (with tears of laughter), exciting, sad and humorous way. Not as dry as before.

Back to my biography.

My professional career did not turn out according to my ideas and wishes. I actually wanted to become a judicial clerk, but the aptitude test in Meißen was very selective. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of those chosen to go through to the second round. So my dream burst like a soap bubble. I reoriented myself and carefully chose a medical profession - that of a nurse. I completed my training at the Catholic Johannes Zinke School of Nursing at the Carolus Hospital in Görlitz - and passed my state examination in 2001.

My second career choice became a vocation for me over the course of my life.

My work has always and constantly fulfilled me and allowed me to grow in my profession.

Of course, there were also unpleasant moments, moments with a bitter aftertaste - for example:

dying people

Cancer patients

I have deliberately only mentioned two examples, the list could be almost endless. Apart from the fact that each of us will die sooner or later, it has often touched me deeply in various situations, made me sad and given me food for thought. When you had to look on helplessly and only pain-relieving medication was an option - because as you know, medicine has its limits too.

But you can also be there for a dying person in other ways, reduce anxiety and give closeness by holding the hand of the dying person until the end of life - at the end of life it is no longer about prolonging life at all costs - and symbolically conveying this:

You are not alone on your last journey.

"Be good to people.

People will remember your kindness

and humanity,

your great career and the

Designer clothes that you wore!"

My medical career has been somewhat colorful over the course of my professional years.

After my training, I gained a foothold in home care. I tried my hand at caring for people with dementia in nursing homes. I also tried to be a good practical instructor.

Yes, perhaps a former pupil is reading my book right now, remembering their exciting, instructive, but also funny time. Some of them will certainly have a smile on their face right now.

I had a traffic accident in 2012.It was caused by the other party failing to give way. Until then, I was not aware that this event would be the first stage of my ordeal. At first, I skillfully ignored the resulting consequences of the accident; a better synonym for ignoring would probably be "overplaying" in my case. Despite headaches, nausea and dizziness, I went about my daily routine. I'm sure you know what I mean by that. A well-behaved, diligent German citizen goes about his regular work! The day was predestined when my health ignorance would become my downfall. During the morning washing marathon at my former workplace in the nursing home, I went black vor my eyes. Out of necessity, I made the acquaintance of two paramedics. They were young, slim and incredibly nice. Numerous vague thoughts circulated in my head:

Where am I?

What happened?

Can the two slim men or, more likely, men with leptosomal physiques get me down the stairs?

Question after question flitted through my cerebrum and cerebellum. A paramedic's question literally snapped me back to reality.

"Could you be pregnant?" From one second to the next, I was wide awake and it dawned on me what had happened. No, I wasn't pregnant! Now everything happened so quickly and one, two, three I was safely stowed away in the ambulance. Lying in the back - where else! As a passenger in the front, which I had imagined, you don't get this chance every day, was strictly rejected by the emergency services. This was followed by a rapid journey to the nearest hospital. My suggestion for change to the pharmaceutical industry concerns the development and manufacture of kidney dishes: they definitely need to be bigger. My vomit was everywhere but in this miniature version of a kidney dish. And who was partly to blame? That's right, the emergency services and their driving style were partly to blame. Joking aside! You two did a great job. Once we arrived at the emergency room, we underwent numerous routine examinations, the usual standard program. These included an X-ray of the cervical spine, blood count, medical history, ECG and infusion - which, of course, was a must. After three hours in my single cell, I got to see a competent doctor. She flooded me with questions: "Have you had a fall down the stairs in the past? The x-ray of your cervical spine at least looks like it." Obedient as I am, I answered everything precisely. She let me finish, I think that's the most important thing. I told her about the traffic accident. In the end, she abandoned her initial idea that I had fallen down the stairs. After a long and very detailed consultation with the doctor, a diagnosis of whiplash injury after an accident, a cervical support in my luggage and a detailed discharge letter for further diagnostics, I left the hospital on the same day at my own request. Medical staff, especially nurses, always know best which treatment measures are right for you. Incidentally, this has been scientifically proven. As I'm writing these lines, I have to smile at myself. I have rigorously rejected the benefits of an inpatient stay with a 4-course meal.

A reflective view:

How stupid and narrow-minded I was in this situation! Hospitalization would clearly have been the right thing to do.

Dear insight! Why have you come to me so late?

"If you want to achieve health,

you don't have to do too much.

Just listen to your body!"

For days, I was plagued by headaches with nausea and dizziness, I was also unsteady in my gait with symptoms of loss, my hands and arms were constantly tingling and went numb, and I also had vision problems. But at least I was on sick leave. A new experience for me. Another appointment with my GP was unavoidable. For further diagnostics, I spent several weeks in a nearby neurological clinic.

Diagnoses:

Instability of the cervical spine

Steep position of the cervical spine with kyphotic malposition in segment C5/6

Structural disorder in segment C5/6 with ventral displacement of C5 compared to C6

Protrusion C5/6 with additional prolapse of the left neuroforamen, here irritation of the anterior radix of the left outgoing nerve root

Broad-based disc protrusions C4-7

Condition after whiplash injury to the cervical spine

During the discharge interview, I was warmly advised to reconsider my professional situation and seek a new direction. The words entered my right ear and then came out of my left ear. You can tell that to anyone with the same diagnosis. But I, I continue on my way undeterred, despite the doctors' warnings. Just like always - I'll be fine! I went back to my old job back then. When driving, I used my cervical support conscientiously to protect my cervical spine from turning too quickly and unpredictably, to minimize dizziness and to prevent my eyes from going black. And, of course, to avoid endangering other drivers/participants in road traffic. Regular visits to the osteopath and orthopaedist were now the order of the day, familiar pain medication my daily companion and physiotherapy my daily bread. Every day was a struggle for me. I dragged myself along with my symptoms until 2016, when I received an outpatient rehabilitation program. In the most beautiful town in Upper Lusatia for me - Bautzen. That was a plus, the icing on the cake, so to speak. For three weeks, a charming, older man picked me and my fellow rehab patients up from home in the morning and brought them back in the afternoon. Then my daily compulsory program started, muscle building and strengthening, physiotherapy measures, lectures on learning self-care, exercise therapy in the water and countless other nice therapy sessions. Would you like to know if the rehabilitation program was successful?"No - without any success!"The symptoms remained one with my body, firmly fused. The words of the doctor from the specialist neurological clinic were now regularly present in my head - professional reorientation. Something has to change - but what? I live my job with passion and dedication, what task, what work would fulfill me in the same way? Moments and hours of perplexity passed. Many factors played a major role: no more physically demanding work and I should also like the new area of responsibility. Until one day I had the brilliant idea. I envisioned working with children. I set to work full of enthusiasm and wrote one application after another. Analyzing documents, gaining an overview, using existing contacts, focusing my selection, taking the initiative, overcoming my inner bastard and wobbling to the interview with my head held high and my crown held high. My efforts quickly bore fruit, as they say. The choice of potential new employers was manageable. My choice fell on a pediatric and adolescent medical practice. The employment relationship started on January 1, 2017 for an indefinite period. Physically and health-wise, I recovered noticeably. The physical complaints were still there, but they were bearable for me and not comparable to the strenuous, heavy piecework in the care home. It was a good solution that I could live with and cope with. The new work with the children, whether they came to the practice because they were ill or healthy for check-ups and vaccination appointments, gave me the best moments (also emotionally) in my professional career. I have put my heart and soul into this work and practice. I will go into the subject of pediatric practice in more depth at a later date, in chapter 5. In addition to my main job, I looked for a sideline. Since March 2020, I have been working for the Association of Statutory Health Insurance Physicians in Saxony