LAUGH UNTIL YOU CRY - Arthur Eva - E-Book


Arthur Eva



Englisch für Büffelmuffel Lachen ist die beste Medizin, auch beim Englischlernen. Dieses Buch macht Spaß. Es ermöglicht es Ihnen, ohne zu pauken, Ihre Englischkenntnisse mit Witzen, Scherzfragen, Wortspielen und einem herzhaften Lachen aufzufrischen. Es ist ein amüsanter Vokabelheimtrainer und eine nützliche Homeschoolinghilfe für Selbstlernerinnen und Selbstlerner. Vokabelhilfen Die mitgelieferten Vokabelhilfen ermöglichen es Ihnen, immer zügig und freudig weiterzulesen, ohne andauernd unbekannte Ausdrücke nachschlagen zu müssen. Wegbegleiter und Bettlektüre Dieses unterhaltsame Buch kann Ihr allzeit griffbereiter Wegbegleiter sein, zum Beispiel in Wartezimmern und auf Reisen. Es kann auch eine angenehme Bettlektüre sein.

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- Laughter is the best medicine.

- A joke a day helps to keep the doctor away.

- Update your English in an enjoyable way.


1. Auflage, erschienen 4-2021

Coverdesign: Romeon Verlag

Text: Arthur Eva

Layout: Romeon Verlag

ISBN: 978-3-96229-826-5

Copyright © Romeon Verlag, Jüchen

Das Werk ist einschließlich aller seiner Teile urheberrechtlich geschützt. Jede Verwerung und Vervielfältigung des Werkes ist ohne Zustimmung des Verlages unzulässig und strafbar. Alle Rechte, auch die des auszugsweisen Nachdrucks und der Übersetzung, sind vorbehalten. Ohne ausdrückliche schriftliche Genehmigung des Verlages darf das Werk, auch nicht Teile daraus, weder reproduziert, übertragen noch kopiert werden. Zuwiderhandlung verpflichtet zu Schadenersatz.

Alle im Buch enthaltenen Angaben, Ergebnisse usw. wurden vom Autor nach bestem Gewissen erstellt. Sie erfolgen ohne jegliche Verpflichtung oder Garantie des Verlages. Er übernimmt deshalb keinerlei Verantwortung und Haftung für etwa vorhandene Unrichtigkeiten.

This Book, including all of its parts, is protected by copyright. Any use and reproduction of the work without the consent of the publisher is inadmissible and punishable by law. All rights, including those of partial reprinting and translation, are reserved. The Book, not even parts of it, may not be reproduced, transferred or copied without the express written consent of the publisher. Violation obliges you to pay damages.

All information, results, etc. contained in the book were created by the author to the best of their knowledge. They are made without any obligation or guarantee from the publisher. He therefore assumes no responsibility or liability for any inaccuracies.

Bibliographic information from the German National Library:

The German National Library lists this publication in the German National Bibliography; detailed bibliographic data are available on the Internet at



Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you.

- Saying –







Dear user,

this book is the result of more than fifty years of working with jokes in classroom lessons and on other occasions (Gelegenheiten).

As a student I enjoyed the fascinating course Forms of humour. The English lecturer (Dozent) amused and motivated us with many examples of the English sense of humour, and we learned a lot in an enjoyable way.

The lecturer told us that jokes are excellent vocabulary builders. Moreover he advised us to note down the best examples and to store (speichern) them on index cards (Karteikarten). He added that they might come in handy (gelegen, nützlich) one day, not only in classroom lessons but also in other situations, and they did.

During the coronavirus lockdowns in 2020 I had a lot of time to kill, so I began to work on this book project. I made my vocation (Beruf) (teacher of English) my vacation (Urlaub), and I enjoyed every minute of it - no coronavirus blues (Trübsal), and good vibrations in abundance (im Überfluss) every day.

It might not be a bad idea to browse (schmökern) through this handbook n o w for a while out of curiosity (Neugier, Wissbegier) and for orientation. Look at this and that so that you gain (gewinnen) a first impression (Eindruck) of how this book is composed and in what ways it can help you to help yourself.

In this book you will come across hundreds of jokes and thought-provoking one-liners. You will remember them easily, because everything that is funny is memoryfriendly in one way or another.

User tip: As you go along, underline or mark the expressions you wish to memorize (im Gedächtnis speichern) and recycle them when you speak English and when you produce texts, in a presentation you give, in classroom lessons, in exercise papers (Üungsarbeiten) you write and on other occasions (Gelegenheiten).

Have fun!

Best wishes, Arthur Eva, retired schoolmaster


Here is a list of the most common (üblichsten) forms of humour. The definitions, explanations and examples will help you to understand and appreciate (zu schätzen wissen) the jokes and one-liners you will come across in this book.


Words that can be understood in more than one way are ambiguous (doppeldeutig, mehrdeutig).


You expect a climax (Höhepunkt) at the end of a story, anecdote or joke, but the end is not a climax at all; on the contrary (ganz im Gegenteil), it is ludicrous (lächerlich, grotesk).

Example: It is the duty (Pflicht) of a soldier to follow orders (Befehle), to defend (verteidigen) his country and to peel potatoes.

Black humour

Black humour is macabre. It deals with (behandelt) sinister (dunkle, finstere, böse) aspects of life in a humorous way.

It often refers to (bezieht sich auf) topics (Themen) such as suffering (Leiden) and death, and it gives people a chance to experience sadness (Traurigkeit) and laughter simultaneously. Thus (somit) it provides (sorgt für) comic relief (Erleichterung).


Question: What’s the British cannibal’s favourite meal?

Answer: Fish and chaps (Kerle).


A caricature makes people and things look silly by exaggerating (übertreiben) their weaknesses (Schwächen).

Example: Most of us hadn’t done their homework. Our teacher was not amused at all, and his big ears were smoking.

Comedy of manners

In a comedy of manners (Manieren, Umgangsformen) the silly behaviour (Benehmen, Verhalten) of a group of people is ridiculed (lächerlich gemacht).

Example: The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in pursuit (Jagd, Verfolgung) of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Comedy of situation

The situation is funny. Example:

Question: What do you call cows which live in an earthquake area (Erdbebengebiet)?

Answer: Milkshakes.


In jokes an exaggeration (Übertreibung) is a statement (Aussage) or description (Beschreibung) that makes things seem larger and/or worse than they really are. In caricatures and satires things are often exaggerated.

Example: Janice was mad (wütend) at her husband. Her eyes were lasers and her ears were smoking.


Incongruity (Ungereimtheit, Absurdität, Widersprüchlichkeit) is an integral part of (fester Bestandteil von) humour.


Question: Why do panda bears like old movies?

Answer: Because they are black and white.


Somebody who is being ironic uses words that say the opposite of what the speaker really means.

Example: The French chef (Küchenchef) said jokingly, “England is famous for its food.“


A joke is something that you do or say to make people laugh. In this book there are hundreds of jokes for you to enjoy and to brush up (auffrischen) your English.


A limerick is a humorous story in five lines of verse. The rhyme pattern (Muster) is aa bb a.

The first line sets the scene and presents the main character. The second line rhymes with it.

The third and fourth lines are shorter, and they rhyme with each other. The last line rhymes with the first two lines. It is the punchline (Pointe). It is most effective when the climax (Höhepunkt) is unexpected.


There was a young lady of Lynn

Who was so uncommonly thin

That when she essayed (versuchte)

To drink lemonade,

She slipped through the straw (Strohhalm) and fell in.


A one-liner is a short and smart (pfiffig) statement (Aussage) that is made in one sentence. Example:

Yes, I drink beer, but only on days that end with a y.


In a parody somebody’s behaviour (Verhalten) is copied in an exaggerated (übertrieben) and amusing way.


Susan’s father, a successful businessman, is on business trips very often. She misses him very much. One day, when he comes home from a business trip to Boston, she puts on her father’s shoes, picks up the telephone, dials (wählt) a number and, looking sadly (traurig) at her totally exhausted (erschöpft) father, she says, “Donald Duck speaking. I’ve just come back from a business trip to America. I need to go on a business trip to Wuhan urgently (dringend) tomorrow, early in the morning. I’d like to fly business class, of course.“


A pun (Wortspiel) contains a word that has more than one meaning or words that have different meanings, but sound (klingen) the same.


Somebody who is being sarcastic says the opposite (Gegenteil) of what she or he means in order to complain (sich beschweren) and/or to express dis-satisfaction (Unzufriedenheit).

Example: Belinda said to her husband, “Dear John, many thanks for the nice present you gave me. The penknife (Taschenmesser) will be very useful in the kitchen.“


Satirists use heavy irony and satire as a weapon (Waffe) to criticize or ridicule (lächerlich machen) a person, an idea or an institution and/or to expose (aufdecken) faults (Mängel) and weaknesses (Schwächen).

Example: Love is a disease (Krankheit). It can be cured by marriage (Ehe).


Question: What is the difference between God and a teacher?

Answer: God knows everything, and a teacher knows everything better.


Wit is the ability to say something that is both (sowohl) clever and (als auch) amusing. Here is an example of a witty one-liner:

Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration (Schweiß). -Thomas Edison


Wordplay is a play on words. Words that have two meanings or different words that sound (klingen) the same are used in an amusing way.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.




Question: What do aliens (außerirdische Wesen) eat on Sundays?

Answer: Unidentified frying objects.


Question: Why do aliens often spill (verschütten) their tea?

Answer: Because they have flying saucers (Untertassen).

First things first

Three aliens have decided to go to Earth. They have agreed to see a unicorn (Einhorn) and the Loch Ness monster first.


Question: Why didn’t the aliens enjoy the welcoming party in Arizona?

Answer: They felt it had no atmosphere.


Americans in Paris

Two American tourists are touring Europe. On Sunday morning they enter a cathedral in Paris to attend the service (Gottesdienst). The trouble is, they don’t understand French. One of them has an idea, and he suggests (schlägt vor), “We look at the man in front of us, and whatever he does, we’ll do.“

His friend agrees, and all goes well for an hour. Then, while everyone is seated, the priest says something in French, and the man siting in front of them stands up. The two Americans got up as well (ebenfalls). The French churchgoers giggle (kichern).

Realizing that they must have made a mistake, they ask the priest at the end of the service why everybody laughed at them. He explains, “Well, I announced (kündigte an) the baptism (Taufe) of a child and asked the father of the little girl to stand up.“

Catching thieves(Diebe)

In China they invented a machine that captures (fängt) thieves. They tested it in Wuhan, and it caught ten thieves within a day.