Our Undying Autumn E-Book

Aleksi Karvonen

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 103

Beschreibung

A Collection of Conversations Concerning the Truth of Being.

Leseprobe

Our Undying Autumn

Contents & Author's NoteJackRebeccaMia[unknown]ThomasStephenCopyright

Contents & Author's Note

Our Undying Autumn

~

Conversations Concerning

the Truth of Being

*

Jack

Rebecca

Mia

[unknown]

Thomas

Stephen

*

Author's Note:

Eavesdropping.

Jack

Jack

*

I was in the kitchen, preparing the coffeemaker when I heard the doorbell. After putting the last spoonfuls in and clicking the maker on, I turned and walked to the door. For some reason I lingered there for a few moments, thinking if this was such a good idea after all, but then reached for the handle and pulled the door open, revealing a tall, broad-shouldered man standing in the hallway. He was holding a case of beer, smiling wide, though with a glint of sadness in his eyes. I greeted him;

"Jack, please, come on in. Glad you came."

The man stepped in and laid the case next to the door, then began taking off his dripping-wet leather jacket. A small puddle of water formed on the floor, and upon noticing this he said;

"Man how it is raining outside – and the forecast promised sun!"

I had stepped back, leaving room for him to take off his jacket and shoes. After he had finished I smiled and extended my hand. He looked at me for a moment, then grabbed my hand with his own, considerable larger hand. We shook hands, hanging on the grip for a few judging seconds, looking at each other. I let go and motioned for him to step further into the livingroom.

"Take a seat, please."

I pointed at one of the old, cushioned chairs I had owned for quite some time. He stopped and looked about the room, seemingly unsure about the situation. I asked if something was wrong, and he replied;

"No, doc, nothing. It's just – well. Mind if I crack open a beer?"

I answered with a smile;

"I have coffee, but sure, if you prefer your own drinks, I don't mind."

Jack walked back to his case and took a beer, saying;

"Thanks doc, maybe I'll take coffee later. You don't want one?"

I politely declined. He shrugged, lifted the case, then walked back and sat down. The chair underneath him shifted and creaked, and for a second I wondered if it could withstand his considerable weight. He laughed as he noticed my worried expression;

"Looks like these things aren't exactly designed for people like me, huh?"

I smiled and said, adjusting my glasses;

"I'm sure larger people have sat on that chair. Not taller or stronger, but..."

I felt a sudden surge of cold wave through me as if I'd said something too inappropriate of my clients – but then the feeling passed when I remembered this man wasn't a client. He was a friend – of sorts.

*

I excused myself and walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. As I poured the steaming black liquid from the pan, I heard Jack's deep voice from the livingroom.

"Nice apartment you got here. Is this the place where you have your, you know, sessions or whatever?"

I walked back and sat down on one of the chairs opposite to him, laid the cup on the table between us and leaned back.

"Yes, Jack, you could call this my office. I don't spend much time here outside of work, except... well, during times like these." I shifted my position and added; "Sometimes you need little space for yourself, don't you agree?"

He took a sip of beer and let out a small laugh.

"You got that right doc." He waved around and continued; "I got my own space too – well, I got my own space everywhere, as the streets are just as my own as my crappy apartment. Don't get me wrong doc, that's the way I prefer things – and before you ask, no, still haven't married, don't have a house with a white picket fence, don't even have a girl... at least at the moment."

He stopped, and when I said nothing, continued still;

"But I'm not here as a case to be cracked for you, right? You didn't call to just to get to know me, so why are we here exactly?" He paused, then quickly added; "Don't get me wrong doc, maybe I should've visited earlier, maybe we shoulda spoke sooner, but-"

I interrupted him.

"It's all right Jack – and please, do call me Steve."

He drank his beer empty, then looked at me for a while before answering.

"Hmm... nah. Doc is good, doc. Let's keep it at that, okay?"

I nodded and leaned in to taste my coffee. It was still quite hot.

*

I looked outside through the western window. Jack was right, the forecast had indeed promised sun, but here in Whitend I had grown accustomed to these odd, sudden changes in weather a long time ago. I had hoped for a good weather, of course, as it tends to have a surprising amount of sway on peoples' mood – when the sun shines, so does the mind, and things just tend to go smoother in general. There was nothing I could do about it, so I had to make do with what I'd been given. I was about to began, having gone through my mental preparation when Jack interrupted my thoughts, apologizing for some reason;

"Sorry doc, I- shit. You know it's nothing personal, but still..." He stopped, then suddenly continued, asking; "How's your shoulder man?"

With a semi-conscious act I touched my still tender left shoulder and answered;

"Still aching a lot, to be honest, but painkillers help alleviate the pain."

Jack looked away and continued, in a quiet voice;

"Yeah, it sure wasn't that long ago, I know from personal experience those kinda things take a long time to heal." He took another beer from the case. "So anyway, what's this about, exactly? You wanna ask some questions of Dan? Don't you have access to police files, medical records or something, you being a doc and all?"

I looked at him straight and said;

"Look, Jack, it's not that. I have dug up enough plain facts already - I want to hear your point of view – you knew him far better than me or Mia did."

The rain kept patting the window outside and thunder rumbled in a distance. Jack adjusted his position in the chair, sighed and began;

"Alright man, where should I even begin... before I start, I didn't know – well, I hadn't seen him years, okay? Not before that week anyway, he just cut all contact years ago, then appeared out of nowhere one day, in that small cornerstone... it was all a coincidence, I wasn't even supposed to-"

I stopped him.

"Take it easy Jack. Just tell me what you remember of him, what he used to be like, before all of that – what changed him."

Jack sighed again, now with a sense of weight and age in his breath.

"Yeah. What changed him... what, indeed." He glanced at the case of beer, then at me. "You sure you don't want one? I feel kinda lonely drinking here alone."

I considered my answer, but not for long before resigning my rule of no drinking in the office. He smiled and threw me a can. I managed to catch it without fumbling too much and opened the beer. The satisfying fizzing sound acted as a mask for our discussion, and for the moment I felt like we were just regular guys having a regular, pointless talk about anything else than what we were supposed to talk about here.

*

We sat in silence for some time, listening to the rain outside as the clock on the wall kept ticking. Jack began, speaking slow and quiet;

"I'm not that smart of a guy, you know – well, Dan always used to say I was, but that I used my intelligence in a... well, in an unproductive way, lets just say. 'A wrong way' according to him, of course, but I think I'm using it just the right way. Gotten me right in the place I've wanted, nothing more, nothing less." He looked away. "Not that I don't think of it sometimes, doc. Where I might be now if I had just... well, it doesn't matter. I might've ended up like him, perhaps. Sometimes being too smart does you more harm than good."

He seemed absorbed in his thoughts, and I dared not interrupt him.

"See doc, many have wondered how we got along so good, Dan and me. Some thought we're straight opposites of each other, but I don't think that's the case. We are... were, more alike than... shit, sorry."

He wiped his eyes. I was surprised speaking of this still affected him this much, but then again, I didn't know Jack that well. He coughed and continued;

"Anyway, yeah. He used to be such a good guy, even got me out of a tight spot once, practically saved my life. But I'm not gonna go there, that's between us, see – it's not... it's not that important. Just so that you know... he used to be a real good friend to me, despite all the shit that happened..."

I took a sip of coffee, ignoring the beer for now.

"So what changed him?"

His expression turned sour, and he almost yelled;

"Shit man, I don't know! Didn't I say he just dropped all contact? Withdrew from me... from anyone, from what I've heard, and just... I don't know."

I considered how to proceed. It was getting obvious I had to be careful about this. Jack seemed more calm now, though, and continued;

"Sorry man, things just got... can I smoke here? Or do you have a balcony? Though I'd not want to get out in this weather-"

I waved my hand and smiled. Even though I detested smoking indoors, this time I was willing to make an exception.

"No no, go ahead, I don't mind."

Jack thanked and produced a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He took one for himself, then asked;

"You want one?"

I smiled, though this time had some trouble keeping the facade up when declining the offer.

*

I crossed my legs and drank the cup empty while Jack smoked his cigarette. It didn't take long for him to start again. I was starting to get a sense that he was a naturally outgoing person, an extrovert like Mia, contrary to Dan who had been nearly pathologically introverted. Jack's words passed my mind; some thought we were straight opposites of each other. He continued, halting my thoughts;

"Where was I? Oh yeah, you wanted to know how he was before I lost contact, right? Well, he was a great guy in short – a bit shy, not really liked people, but then again, I don't like either, so that was all right. I kept trying to convince him to... to join in my business." He smiled; "I'm an entrepreneur, you see. A self-employed trafficker of fine goods."

He smiled again, and looked me in the eye.

"Although, we don't need to pretend here, doc. I know you know well enough what I do."

I nodded, saying nothing. He finished his cigarette and dumped it into the empty can, though the smoke was left lingering in the air, irritating my eyes. He continued;

"He never got into business, of course. He was too... well, I don't want to say 'weak', but we both knew that, deep down, he didn't have the stomach nor will for it. Not that it's anything flashy or dangerous like you see in the movies, you rarely need to use drastic measures. It's a just a lot of managing, writing papers, issuing orders... like running a business is, really."

I got up and said;

"I'm gonna get another cup of coffee. You sure you don't want?"

He smiled and reached for another beer.

"Nah, doc. I think I'll stick with this."

*

As I walked back with a fresh cup of coffee Jack had lit another cigarette and now said;

"You know, you're pretty good at this, doc." When I looked at him with a raised brow he continued; "With all this counselling-shit. Here we were supposed to be talking of Dan and here I am, nearly spilling out professional secrets."

He let out a laugh, but I couldn't be sure if he was jesting or not. I sat down and smiled, but stayed silent. He asked, his voice taking a sinister tone;

"I've talked enough. Let me ask you something."

I nodded, taking a sip of hot coffee. I nearly burned my tongue.

"You never told me what happened to him – you know... just what the fuck happened? You're supposed to be the doctor here. You and all those guys at the ward – when I go there and ask they just play dumb, saying they have no idea. Fucking hell man, I'm not that stupid! Do you take me for a fool?"

His voice had gotten stronger as he neared the end of the sentence. I answered, trying to calm him down the best I could;

"Listen Jack, this is why we are here, to try and figure it out – I don't know those people running the ward, but I'm sure they're professionals-"

He interrupted me, waving his smoldering cigarette around. It left a noticeable trail of smoke in its wake.

"What do you mean man, you don't know them? Aren't you all like one big family, all pompous with your white jackets and shit, arrogant pieces of-"

He stopped himself and took a puff from the cigarette.

"Sorry man, I know it's not your fault – my... my nerves haven't been the same since that... thing happened."

I smiled with a sincere heart, understanding what he meant. He continued, asking;