The estate we're in E-Book

John MacBeath

• Herausgeber: tredition
• Kategorie: Abenteuer, Thriller, Horror
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 391

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

In a small private estate in the north of Scotland an eleven year old girl disappears. No one notices because all the residents are enjoying the annual croquet party and an excess of alcohol. To the frustration of the police, the eleven residents are unable to agree on the sequence of events or potential suspects. That the missing girl is an identical twin confuses testimonies as well as the actual time of the disappearance. Each household has their own justification for not revealing everything to the police. The second part of the book tells Olivia' story. Captive in a mansion on Ghana's Cape Coast, while treated well by her captor she is constantly vigilant, rehearsing plans to escape. The opportunity comes when he is stung by fire ant. Ill and bed ridden and reliant on her care she has, at last, what she wished for. But what is holding her back?

Leseprobe

The Estate We’re In

John MacBeath

Copyright © 2021 John MacBeath

Publisher: tredition GmbH, Halenreie 40-44, 22359

Hamburg, Germany

ISBN

Paperback:     978-3-347-15171-0

Hardcover:     978-3-347-15172-7

eBook:          978-3-347-15173-4

Printed on demand in many countries

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.

Acknowledgements and thanks

This book is for Emmanuelle Poppe-MacBeath, a budding poet, artist and much else!

I owe a very particular and sincere thankyou to Ulf Schwanke. His critical, supportive and tireless re-readings have made this a much better novel than I could have achieved without him. I do not hold him responsible for any remaining infelicities which are all mine. He defines the essence of a critical friend.

And to Andrea MacBeath and Russell Donaldson whose technological expertise and meticulous re-reading contributed significantly to the final product.

Chapter 1

The estate we’re in: Murray’s story

While the beginning is customarily the best place to start there is never a beginning to anything, as history is defined by seminal events which determine its course. On the small private estate, twenty miles to the west of Inverness nothing much out of the ordinary ever happened, at least until the events of an unusually sunny September which would change everything – forever.

We were, and continue to be, seven households, our isolation from what is sometimes referred to as ‘the outside world’ fostering something of a siege mentality. In my sociology lectures at Robert Gordon University I sometimes refer to our small community as a prime example of propinquity theory, explaining what can happen, by design or happenstance, when people are thrown together in close physical proximity.

The word ‘estate’ may conjure images of a suburban enclave of identical houses and nearly identical residents, but Inveresk estate is nothing so mundane. It had once been the grounds of a medieval castle, the coach house, servants’ quarters, and stables now converted to quirky dwellings while the site of the demolished castle is now a modern and (in the view of the longest established residents) ‘a pretentious three-storey manor’, home to the ill-fated Warren family.

Theirs is the last house on the tree-lined drive which runs from the imposing gates, bypassing six more modest dwellings of which ours is one. Our conservatory sits to the front of the house, directly on to road so allowing us to monitor our neighbours’ entries and exits, visitors wanted and unwanted, though of the latter there are, thankfully, very few. This gives me a self-appointed licence to recount the story that unfolded over an uncertain and often fraught year. My story is, despite how hard I strive for veracity, only one version of the truth, if such a thing as ‘truth’ exists. So, in fairness I have allowed each of the other six households to relate emerging events, causes and consequences as they saw it. But first I will attempt, as fairly and dispassionately as possible, to introduce my neighbours.

On entering the estate the first person you are likely to encounter is Pastor Penrose, an austere presence as befits his calling. With jet black hair and eyebrows to match, his tendency to dress in black or dark colours conveys a somewhat overpowering first impression and belies his kind and unfailingly generous nature. He occupies what is still referred to as the gatehouse. As only the residents know the entry code, he performs his role as gatekeeper of the estate with particular relish. He also enjoys joking about holding the keys to the kingdom and is untiring in his efforts to save his neighbours’ souls. I do endure a very occasional visit from him, an inexhaustible fountain of such goodwill to all men that it can, at times, become quite oppressive. While he hasn’t seen me at the kirk recently, he says it without accusation. On the occasion when I have endured his lengthy sermons and interminable prayers I begin to understand why his already small flock tends to diminish by the week. I admire, but am baffled by, his complete unworldliness. He does not, apparently, possess a television and I have never seen a newspaper being delivered nor, now that I come to think of it, letters or cards. Wouldn’t he be an obvious recipient of Christmas or birthday cards, although I might understand a lack of conspicuous celebration of February the fourteenth. Perhaps, as I have from time to time surmised, his daunting physical appearance may not be an asset and could possibly explain the absence of lady friends, or even men friends, although it is clear from his sermons that he is not liberally disposed to same sex relationships. He would remain a perpetual enigma at least until the events of that ominous September of 2019.

A good quarter of a mile down the drive, the first house on the left is home to the other sole resident, but not by choice, Jack Weaver. My wife, who is an artist, compares Jack to Edvard Munch, the sad eyes, salt and pepper moustache and perpetually downturned mouth. I often find him sitting with his arms folded looking at something unseen in the distance. He has still not come to terms with the death of his beloved wife Eleanor more than three years ago, despite the good pastor’s assurance that she has gone to a better place. A better place than Inveresk estate, Jack would say in a lighter moment, is hard to imagine. Despite his house being literally attached to our own, our paths rarely cross except when we are favoured with a surplus of mackerel or cod.

As I understand it, and as I have been informed on those rare occasions when Jack delivers his catch, he explains once again that the most seductive of lures are lug worm and rag worm which have to be disinterred from wet sand at low tide on the Moray Firth. I have added to my intellectual repertoire the particularly seductive qualities of these rarely-seen sand dwellers, strangely celebrated by W. B. Yeats.

 But while he passed before a plashy place,

 A lug-worm with its grey and muddy mouth,

 Sang that somewhere to north or west or south,

 There dwelt a gay, exulting, gentle race,

 Under the golden or the silver skies.

I had, on one of those impromptu visits, inquired of Jack what he thinks about when he stands for eight hours at a time looking at water. I had to press him a little further when he replied ‘nothing’ which, as a cognitive scientist, I knew to be impossible. This did give him pause for thought, offering a more considered reply – ‘fish’. My scepticism at the time has, however, been eroded by the discovery that thinking ‘fish’ is a common experience among the angling fraternity. Awaiting the smallest nibble or quiver on the line, requires heightened studied alertness, single-minded concentration and a discriminating response, since ‘fish’ covers a multitude of possibilities. It is, obviously, important to know (and feel) the difference between a twitch, a tickle, a tug and a snatch. Those less informed would simply call it a bite.

As our immediate semi-detached neighbour, Jack is the recipient on a regular basis of parcels and special deliveries intended for my wife, the world’s leading collector of paints, brushes, canvases, coloured bottles and assorted magic potions. Lauren’s obsession keeps her occupied while I am at the university or on some mission to educate ‘non-believers’, as she puts it, gratuitously adding, “They’d be more likely to listen to you if you dressed better.” I thought this just a bit rich from someone in paint-spattered overalls and one of my old shirts. If painters had to look painterly then why shouldn’t academics look academic? What students would wish to listen to someone in a Savile Row suit, tie and matching handkerchief?

I suppose that buying her a Mina bird was as a surrogate for me while I was away on my travels. Not only a keen listener but also, unlike most of my students, able to repeat what I had just said.

It would be a serious oversight to omit Arisa from this introduction as she is the sole feline resident and an unfailing source of entertainment. An unpretentious marmalade moggy, she moved in uninvited five years ago and decided to take up residence. She has a habit of hiding behind, or sitting on top of, doors and springing out on unwary visitors. As well as causing Jack a putative ‘heart attack’, she was the recipient of a gratuitous kick when she had added some unwanted embellishment to Lauren’s latest work of art. This would prove to be a source of contention over the next few weeks, equated (by her) to the vandalism of a prized Picasso.

The house to our immediate left is occupied by the Macfarlanes. Some might describe them as the original odd couple. Zarina, a highly distinguished lady, owner of a number of prestigious awards, is a world leading authority on developmental psychology. Bestowed with a modesty and an ironic sense of humour she had once described herself to me as “the only brown person to emerge from an unknown Indian village and end up returning there as an authentic Scottish doctor.” She carries some of the legacy of her heritage where, she explains, heavy women are preferred as role models, wives and mothers. Her hair, once jet black, as she explains, has recently been assuming ‘a distinguished shade of grey’ to befit her status.

I rarely see her as our work schedules hardly ever coincide. When I return from one of my occasional lecturing tours, I find she has just departed to Canada, the Pacific Islands or somewhere in South or North Africa, all countries of the Commonwealth. While she receives a fairly generous salary from the Commonwealth Trust she has been known to complain that most paid-for flights do not stretch beyond economy class fares. On one of those occasions when our ‘furloughs’ coincided, she took me to Raigmore Hospital to see her place of work and to visit the unit for premature infants, human beings in miniature, almost translucent, their tiny hearts visibly throbbing, determined to survive in face of the odds heavily weighted against them. Zarina is their saviour, gifted with unending patience which can take her out of her bed, dinner or holidays at impossible hours. That apparently inexhaustible reservoir of goodwill is, however, severely tested when it comes to her dealings with her reclusive and intolerant partner, Austin. “Things change,” she says enigmatically, recalling being ‘swept off her feet’ by the tall, immaculately dressed young man who approached her after one of her lectures in order to offer congratulations on her talk while pointing out some of her grammatical errors.

“I cannot begin to explain the attraction,” she admitted, “I suppose it was his self assurance, bordering on the arrogant, that made me want to get to know him better and discover what lay behind that disingenuous exterior.”

Austin himself would not challenge such a characterisation. He agrees that his public persona can be something of a deceit. He prefers the company of world-renowned scholars to the limited human beings whom he regards, on occasion, with ill-concealed disdain. He has a habit of constantly removing and polishing his horn-rimmed glasses while considering whether the person he is indulging in conversation is actually worth the effort. His transparent lack of empathy may explain why he is rarely invited by our neighbours to ‘drop in’, and is rarely seen out and about on the estate. An invitation to admire his literary treasures is extended to only a very few, of which I am counted as a primary beneficiary.

It does require a few hours of patient listening while we tour, as in a university library, the Chomsky shelves and the Pinker section, Austin stopping to explain his admiration for both of these luminaries who disagreed profoundly with one another. I assume he tolerates me because I am the only one willing to listen to lengthy expositions on linguistics and morphology. Perhaps it is because I am able to ask an intelligent question that I am invited to pass through a door to an antechamber in which a further thousand books wait to be indexed. It is easy to understand why my two co-habiting neighbours are unlikely to be seen together, let alone as individuals.

Back on planet earth, the Thorburns, Estelle and Matthew, live what Austin might describe as ‘mundane’ lives. They both go off to their respective jobs in the morning – Estelle to her school and Matthew to the offices of the Inverness Courier – both returning home in the evening, five days a week. These two sites of ‘intelligence’ are caustically described by Austin as the home of truth and the house of lies. Where there is common ground, such as articles about education, it is inevitably a source of contention. Estelle claims the ‘news’ paper (for which her husband is complicit) will also prefer the sensational to the mundane and the headline to the substance. By common agreement such conversations are off-limits during the once-weekly restaurant visit, or on the occasional trip to the cinema or theatre.

Estelle is a head teacher, as she reminds me with ill-disguised irritation when I call her a head mistress. Whatever she may properly be called, the children in her care could not be more testing of patience and goodwill. They are, to use her words, ‘damaged’ children, damaged by birth, by inadequate parenting and by a society which misunderstands and stigmatises ‘needs’ that fall outside the boundaries of normality. I fear I am of little help to her and her expectations of a psychologist who knows all the theory but would never dare to stand in front of a class of disturbed and fractious children. My willingness to spend time with her is not entirely owed to the coincidence of some shared professional interests. I am reminded of W. B. Yeats famous lines, ‘beauty to make a stranger’s eye distraught, a presence demanding of attention’, but with a gentleness that makes me wonder how she commands the attention of her staff as well as her miscreant charges.

In a fraught moment when the negotiated truce is on hold, Estelle may be prone to accuse her partner of having an easy life as a journalist, following up on an accident or a ‘domestic’ while waiting for the big story to land. In a weak moment, Matthew might retaliate with accusations of long holidays and six-hour days, calculated to provoke and escalate confrontation. As a couple they are exemplary of ladder theory, both on the same rung physically. Both are equally attractive, very sociable and generally liked by their neighbours, including me. Perhaps because of their demanding jobs, neither take the initiative to knock on their neighbours’ doors or invite them in for a cup of tea.

The Warrens, while not the most gregarious of residents, play generous hosts to their less affluent neighbours once a year. They have only once paid us a visit, admired Lauren’s works of art and commented on the ‘relaxed and homely’ feel, which I interpreted as ‘exceptionally messy’. Their apparent reluctance to have a seat might be explained by the potential violence to their Harrods’ wardrobes, his Ralph Lauren ‘loungewear’ and her Alexander Wang jeans which, Lauren later informed me, would have cost something north of two hundred and fifty pounds. She later commented over dinner, “You can take the girl and boy out of the west end but you can’t take the west end out of our neighbours.”

‘Neighbours’ is an ambiguous term given that they live much of the year in Abu Dhabi in what could fairly be called a mansion. I am the only Inveresk resident to have paid a visit to that bizarre Emirate, enjoying, over the course of three days, generous but mainly alcoholfree hospitality. On the one occasion, visiting the very poshest of hotels in the neighbourhood, and enjoying a most exquisite sea food repast, I was permitted to order a glass of Malbec. I was obliged to wear a black armband to denote my heretical status and licence to imbibe. That was then. As Mr Warren informs me, Abu Dhabi has enjoyed a dramatic liberalisation in recent years. On that one memorable occasion, dinner was punctuated by serial visits to our table to see, or to be seen with, the prestigious Mr Warren. For the prestigious Mr Warren himself, life in the Emirates is a sequence of encounters with male friends, business associates and an assortment of sycophants. Dorothy, for her part, has for years, longed to permanently escape the subservient role into which she has been cast, dutiful housewife and mother of twins. As she tells it, so fraught and unrelenting is the combination of subjugation and harassment of a European woman in the Emirates that she would, from time to time, take refuge back here in the estate. Home alone, mother and daughters. Only once, in that fateful September, would Abu Dhabi have been the preferable option.

Dorothy described the twins, although going on eleven, as prone to behave more like sixteen. At least this could be said of the more adventurous Olivia, identical to her sister Emma but only in looks. The younger sister, literally by minutes, was much less prone to venture into the unknown than her gregarious, often reckless, sibling. Yet, to the unpractised eye they were peas in the same pod, freckles in similar places, emerald green eyes, dark chestnut hair which they refused to submit to a barber. Much to their father’s irritation they had given up on ‘pretty frocks’ in favour of jeans, preferably with patches or holes at the knees. He was even less impressed by their habit of putting their fingers in their ears when asked to do what he termed ‘routine household maintenance.’

September had been, for a decade, the unique occasion when residents engaged with one another over a sustained and convivial length of time. The annual croquet ritual had, until now, been a prelude to the Warren’s return to Abu Dhabi, a yearly convention, marking their escape from a Scottish winter for five months of equatorial sun. For the tenth year running the conventions were now well established so that residents knew both what to expect and what to take with them. While this was the only occasion which would bring all neighbours together, it did not preclude some informal socialising at other times, both overt and covert. Nor could it conceal the tensions that would, for a few hours, be disguised in ritualised bonhomie and an excess of alcohol.

That was then. The departure of Gerald Elder from Thornfield cottage across the road from us left a vacant house for the first time in over a decade. After the passing of Jean, his lifelong companion and ‘rock’, as he called her, he could no longer stay, haunted by too many memories. The arrival of the new tenants, the Findlay family, was a foretaste of what was to come.

Chapter 2

A day to remember: Murray’s story

The unexpected weather, black clouds rolling in from the west, preceding torrential rain, would later be referred to as an omen. It also meant that the much-anticipated birthday party for the twins would need to be moved indoors and that Jack’s planned fishing trip would have to be cancelled as the river Ythan had burst its banks. It was particularly unwelcome news as the salmon run was rumoured to be exceptionally promising this year.

On a day which all of the residents would vividly recall, although offering somewhat differing accounts, the Findlays made their dramatic entrance. The Vauxhall Estate disgorged, in order of appearance, one teenager, two adults and one dog, its very first act to send, Arisa, our much-loved marmalade cat, to resentful refuge in a tree, bristling with outrage. Had that soon-to-be tormented cat realised just how much life on the estate would change, her brief and aborted attempt to leave home might have been a more strategic success.

In that one brief cameo, lasting for a matter of a few minutes, the Family Findlay had already established its reputation. Was it owed to an unruly and disrespectful Labrador? Or to a sullen teenager who did not look as if he wanted to be there? Or Glenda’s reprimand to her husband who was self-evidently guilty of the dog’s antisocial conduct? Or was it what I would refer to in lectures as a ‘Gestalt’, something larger than the sum of all its parts? A family is referred to as a ‘unit’, held together by convention and expectation, till death, and only death, sanctions a separation. This family seemed, even from the outset, determined to test that proposition.

The newcomers were, nonetheless, accorded a cordial, if not entirely ‘warm’, welcome. While none of the residents could be described as snobbish, unspoken contrasts between the Elders (old money) and the Findlays (new money) were perhaps inevitable. However good-natured and amicable Stanley Findlay would prove to be, selling kitchens for a living was somehow ill-suited to the history and lineage of this eighteenth-century country cottage and its much-revered prior tenants. It seemed to be implicitly accepted that riches handed down through generations was preferable to ‘self-earned’ income, the product of hard work, long hours and imaginative enterprise. It was, less generously, pointed out that Mr Findlay was the beneficiary of a fortuitous Zeitgeist, a sudden and immediate social need to elevate the status of the family kitchen. The suburbs and housing estates in north-east Scotland which had once been content with a minimalist functional pantry and scullery, were now assailed by a newfound and deep discontent. This was fuelled by images of the ideal family, the perfect home, and world-famous chefs in their lavishly equipped galleys. The promise of domestic lives transformed.

Stanley had been, as he later admitted, the right man in the right place at the right time. Work fell unsolicited into his lap. Benefitting not only from the Zeitgeist but a combination of good looks and an irresistible line in patter, Stanley’s kitchens sold themselves. This left ample time for extended liquid lunches for which he could, with a little finessing of the voucher, present the bills to his employers as ‘expenses’. Whether or not they might be inclined to query these extravagant indulgences, business was booming and Stanley was, although not indispensable, an obvious asset to the company.

Glenda, left at home to nurture, and attempt to entertain, a restless teenager and an equally restless dog, needed to find an outlet for the growing frustration at the unfairness of her lot. Stanley would never again, in jest or otherwise, declare that a woman’s place was in the kitchen (although that was the assumption which underlaid his successful salesmanship). Glenda was determined to punish Stanley for his cavalier sexism while, at the same time, seeking an outlet for the suffocating tedium and isolation of a ‘house wife’.

As party to many of their ‘domestics’ I was treated to a particularly definitive dispute only a matter of days after their arrival. I had gone over to introduce myself while Lauren, far too busy to accompany me, was obliged to spend a fifth day on trying to capture the essential quality of light on Loch Ness although never quite content with the outcome.

“Have you any idea what a house wife is?” Glenda asked her husband, with a deliberate emphasis on the two self-enclosing concepts. “Wedded to a house, bearing, feeding and entertaining your rebellious son while you swan off and chat up other lonely housewives, no doubt accepting the offer of a coffee, a wee dram, or perhaps much more.”

While Stanley affected outrage at such a suggestion, I noticed that he had, nonetheless, gone a deeper shade of pink. “So what do you actually suggest I do?” he sulked, censoring the desire to remind her of the debt owed to him – a very beautiful home, a state-of-the-art kitchen, a sometime lovable teenager, while omitting to mention a dog, whose daily deposits on neighbours’ lawns was proving to be a continuing source of contention.

“I am going to take up polo,” Glenda declared, by way of retribution.

“Water polo?”

“Now you’re being ridiculous. No. Polo with a stick and horse. Now we are country gentlefolk and there is a polo club within ten miles. I thought I could learn to play. I might meet some refined people and find a proper social life.”

“With whose money?” a reply, as Stanley told me later, would have been unnecessarily inflammatory and so remained a self-censored thought while he continued to struggle for a riposte that would mollify rather than provoke. “How’s that going to work?” he tried, affecting as open and neutral a tone as possible.

“It works like this. We take money out of the bank. You’ve heard of such an institution? There’s one four miles up the road. Plus, of course, the hidden bank of Stanley Findlay, although your carefully concealed little nest egg, I’m afraid, fell from the tree.”

Stanley was now an even deeper shade of red. Embarrassment, resentment and anger were all vying for predominance. He would obviously have to admit defeat. Better now than weeks and months of silent treatment and favours withheld. It was, as he would divulge on a later wine-fuelled occasion, Glenda’s most potent weapon.

Glenda bought a horse. Or, as Stanley would tell it, Stanley the generous patriarch, purchased his wife a horse for her birthday.

Chapter 3

A brief history of society: Austin’s story

The arrival of the Findlays was, for my neighbours, something of a life-changing event. Not only would the family adopt a horse but, as a bonus, a perennial trail of deposits up the drive, marking its new-found territory. Although little was said, given the generous level of tolerance enjoyed by our small close community, reference to the animal would, not infrequently, be preceded by a descriptor such as ‘bloody’ or ‘beastly’. I refrained from pointing out that such epithets were something of a tautology. Anyway, to me it was immaterial as I was not in the habit of patrolling the grounds. As for my ever tolerant and forgiving wife Zarina, she was so rarely in residence that what, in normal circumstances, might have presented an issue for that fastidious lady, in fact hardly registered on the irritation scale. Perhaps our mutual level of tolerance might be explained by the contentment of having found the ideal place to call our home.

Immediately making sure that our relationship was biblically sound we had started searching for a place that would meet two essential criteria – for her, close to a hospital and, as a bonus, an airport. For my part a house would not be a home without a room, or rooms, big enough to accommodate my rapidly expanding library. While this was not without contention, we were still in a state of extended honeymoon harmony and Zarina was displaying a level of tolerance that, as it soon transpired, would not last forever.

Finding a source of employment was, however, more of an issue. My lady wife had been unimpressed by my claim that paid work and me simply did not mix. I was congenitally unable to take orders from inferior beings, sometimes in ungrammatical, erroneous and deeply offensive language, to which I am particularly sensitive. So, my brief flirtation with work constituted a series of short-term occupations, most of which were ended by mutual consent and a sense of relief. I would never make a good banker, salesman, office worker, teacher, estate agent or even librarian, the one job I had survived for longest. I could not bear to be complicit in putting a tacit stamp of approval on books by Jackie Collins and Jeffrey Archer, jointly responsible for the pulping of a million minds.

So, after nearly half a year of soul-destroying labour and with Zarina’s eventual consent, I had given up work so as to invest time in understanding the nature of the world which we temporarily inhabit. While she described it as a form of emotional blackmail, she had witnessed my slow apathetic decline and, in her words, I had “become an even more chronic social recluse if such a thing were possible.”

The dead hand of employment and its aftermath would seriously inhibit my literary aspirations. I wanted to write a definitive book which would explain how we came to share spaces together with other human beings with whom we survive but have no common affiliation. My book would simply be entitled ‘Society’ although I suspected, that name had already been taken. My Google search was a surprise as I couldn’t find a book with that simple (or rather ‘profound’) title. There was the Self Preservation Society, Sociology: making sense of society, The Listening Society, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and, of course, Popper’s seminal work, The Open Society. I set out to read them, in some cases with gritted teeth, just so as to ensure that my own work would be both original and ground breaking.

When we had finally reached an amicable agreement on Inveresk estate as our future home, it was due to its signal attraction, being cut off from the rest of what is, so inappropriately, called ‘society,’ at least as I understand it, and as my own epoch-making work will explain. The obvious drawback was being in such close proximity to six other households with whom, I imagined, I would have nothing in common. I suspected that gardening, shopping, television would probably occupy my neighbours’ lives and that the finer points of linguistics and morphology would probably not be a compelling topic of social intercourse.

My most immediate neighbour is the only one with whom I have had some form of intellectual converse. Murray is, as I learned within a few weeks of our arrival, a professor and, I must say, looks the part. If I was casting a movie he would be an obvious candidate for an academic role. Always formally dressed but with an almost studied carelessness, he obviously has his mind on other things. His grey-blue eyes appear to be focused on, or baffled by, some distant big idea. Together with the slightly quizzical set of his mouth he conveys an intensity and other-worldliness. In my movie he would be played by either Henry Fonda or James Stewart who, with rare exceptions, were the good guys. As such, Murray is the only one who has been allowed to benefit from my library. He does, as expected, read books, some of which are actually worthy of perusal. He confessed he had tried, and given up on, A Brief History of Time, a book I have now read more than twice. At least he tried.

The only other person among my fellow residents to have even heard of this most eminent of Cambridge scholars is the quite unobjectionable head teacher with whom I have shared the occasional greeting. She may be pushing fifty but she is undeniably attractive, slim and, I estimate, about five and half feet. She has a kind and generous face, framed by an abundance of auburn hair which she lets fall to her shoulders once she has shed the austere headteacher persona. Over a coffee, a most unusual event but occasioned by almost bumping into her on the drive, she filled me in on what it is like to spend long stressful days and anxious nights trying to improve the quality of life for children who often have very little to live for apart from the hours they spend in school. She confessed to reading hardly at all, and only at weekends, as on a weekday she has no residual energy to engage with a serious read. I find it hard to imagine a life without literature, condemned to social inanity and intercourse with life’s social casualties.

Why I can judge the level of philistinism of other residents with some confidence is that, during the once-a-year croquet extravaganza, I have made a pitiful attempt to elevate the level of the discourse, to be met by blank stares and an immediate resumption of inconsequential chatter. Surprisingly, Father Penrose was equally nonplussed by my references although he did confess to reading books. The good Father (although such an attribution would later come into contention) was a constant presence on these occasions. He professed a lifelong addiction to croquet which I may add is not at all obvious from the level of his play. Even I, who could not distinguish one end of the stick (bat? mallet?) from the other can manage to get round in fewer shots. The first time I was partnered with him we came last but not due to me!

On the one and only occasion when I had what might be called a ‘conversation’ with Stanley Findlay I tried to understand what life would be like if it relied on convincing a bored or frustrated housewife that redemption would come in the guise of a more opulent kitchen and superfluous appliances. For his part, he was equally unable to grasp how someone could live their life through the printed page. Our brief but revealing conversation proved a useful insight for me into a deeper understanding of ‘society’ and how people who live in different worlds will ritually escape to a common ground of sport, food or alcohol.

For a brief and totally bizarre moment I wondered if Stanley and I were to go to church on a Sunday we would discover something about our common humanity and could, in this most unlikely human ‘estate’, establish some common ground. I was also wondering what hypothetical future might have existed had the residents not all assembled in one place with an excess of alcohol, oblivious to the activities of the twins whose joint and individual lives would define our priorities for many months to come.

Chapter 4

Dorothy’s story: whatever happened to gratitude?

It had taken us two years to find the estate and another two and a half years to build our house. Now that it is as perfect as we can get it and the twins are beyond the age of destruction, I dream of settling down and just enjoying life. For a change. No more Emirates flights, no more security, no more endless queueing at both ends. Dubai is a beautiful airport but also the world's busiest in terms of international passenger traffic. Although we fly business class and there is an Emirates car and chauffeur awaiting us, the journey from the landing gate to baggage collection and passport control leaves me exhausted and short tempered. As the arrival is well after midnight, factor in two tired and impatient children, suffering from the same altitude earache and complaining in unison. They are learning to bear it all with greater stoicism while I vow, yet again, that this would be the very last time.

Fletcher, however, is reluctant to let go of the Abu Dhabi half of our lives. He is unwilling to forgo, in that order, weather, friends, and swimming in the sea. He was less than impressed with a visit to the so-called ‘secret beach’ near Nairn where he had bravely ventured into the glacial waters. It is not something he wishes to repeat, he says, especially in the winter months when he could enjoy a swim in a place where the sea temperature is a twenty-four degrees centigrade. Nor does he relish playing golf in the snow or clearing ice from the car windscreen. So we endure, for now at least, our unsettling travel arrangements and Fletcher’s jokes about leading double lives, since we became four.

I suppose I should be grateful for my neighbours. We could have ended up with a much less accommodating and civilised group of people. Time will tell whether the Findlays will be fully accepted, as their domestic disputes are too public, their respect for the order and lawfulness of the estate too easily compromised. One cannot blame a horse for what comes naturally but one can train a dog not to make its distinctive ‘mark’ where it is particularly unwelcome. It is as if it has been purposely trained to come and leave its unwanted gifts on our lawn. My very tentative plea to remove the horse’s droppings, good as they might be for the garden, was not met with the most gracious reply.

Ten plus years on I still think back to the fateful scan at Al Zahra Hospital and the shock when the nurse pointed to the two foetuses contained in the one ‘sac’. I was too shocked to listen to the explanation that they were ‘monozygotic’, the nurse carefully explaining that they developed from one zygote, unlike fraternal twins where each twin develops from a separate egg. As if, at that moment, I could care. I envisioned a future of doubled trouble.

Fletcher, eternal optimist, man of the people, thinks I should be eternally happy, grateful for our privileged lives. The unspoken words – a privilege to have him as a husband, a privilege to be gifted with not one but two beautiful homes and then, as blessings come in twos, a matching pair of lovely children. I suppose much of my resentment comes from being a kept woman, entirely dependent on his beneficence. It is he who ‘takes me out’ to dinner, who pays for five-star hotels and business class flights, and it is he who built and paid for our Scottish home – to keep me happy. And still I complain. Whatever happened to gratitude? When a neighbour in Abu Dhabi had worried constantly about kidnapping I had composed a brief for deterring such perfidy in Scotland. My jokey note setting out of my conditions for prospective kidnappers is something I would look back on later with dismay.

Here’s some guidance for potential kidnappers:

When in Sharja air conditioning is a must, in particular at night. In Scotland a fan during the day is usually sufficient.

I suffer from a bad back, so will require a firm mattress. Necta, Hypnos, Simba are all good makes.

I’m not keen at all on communal toilets, and would far prefer a ‘ladies only’. I am past the age of hovering over eastern style toilets, and so, please, a western one.

This is for two very good reasons, a) I have arthritic knees, and b) it’s just far too taxing trying to keep hemlines off the floor and reach for toilet paper at the same time.

I don’t eat meat or fried food so grilled fish is more than acceptable if you can stretch to halibut, skate, prawns, lobster and Scottish Salmon that would be much appreciated.

All food should be organic.

As I am lactose intolerant, it would be good if you would provide food with no dairy ingredients. I tend to get a bit gassy with dairy, so I’m sure you’ll appreciate me giving you the heads up.

I snore. Apparently? So I will require a separate bedroom.

I will also require some reading material. In English as I am not exactly multi-lingual although I did my best with Arabic. Amazon Prime have a good selection of books you can order. I’ve screened the ones that I haven’t read yet. And they do deliver promptly.

Please arrange to have my anti-wrinkle cream (night) and anti-wrinkle cream (day) in copious amounts. I will require factor 50 sunscreen of course.

Lots of fresh drinking water and of course close proximity to the bathroom (weak bladder).

Clean clothes daily, freshly washed and ironed. WiFi and internet access please, and of course access to my credit card. Online shopping will keep me busy, and if I’m busy, then I’m also quiet. I’m sure you will soon realise the benefits.

In case you find this list too demanding, then you may wish to book me into a hotel. The Four Seasons, Hilton, Mandarin are all acceptable. Most of these do have an executive lounge where I can drink as much as I like and snack on copious cakes and biscuits.

I prefer a sea view for short periods of time, but if it’s going to be longer than say two weeks, then it has to be a mountain view. Stockholm Syndrome…trust me, as a middle-aged menopausal woman this just ain’t going to happen.

I think that’s about it for now. If I think of anything else which I’m sure I will, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Many thanks, Dorothy

Chapter 5

A chronic social recluse: Zarina’s story

I sat and watched the pine trees bowing in the wind and the horizontal hail that clung to, and slipped down the French doors, completely obscuring the view of the loch. Within a minute everything had gone quiet, the sun reappearing as if to deny a momentary aberration, my outlook miraculously restored. Although he rarely ventures out it doesn’t stop Austin complaining about the weather and saying it’s all right for me spending half my life in sunnier climes.

People often ask me how I came to marry Austin. Austin the enigma. Austin the iconoclast. Austin who could happily have remained a bachelor, wedded to his books and living his life through the characters who people their pages. Evenings in Inveresk Estate invariably consist of Austin so absorbed in a book that it isn’t until the third time of asking that he would graciously assent to the offer of a coffee and a chocolate digestive.

From time to time I would retire to my study to catch up on reading, perhaps to watch television and to enjoy my own upstairs news channel without running commentary and caustic asides from the man who despises all politicians, indeed anyone who was not deemed to be as enlightened as himself. We are the original odd couple, an endless source of gossip and speculation. For a little girl born in Mumbai, without the benefit of a school education and handed around among caring, and less caring, relatives, I would have laughed at the idea that I would one day live in Scotland, marry a Highland laddie and leave him home alone while I travelled the world. I’m sure, although he would deny it, this is when he is most happy.

Once, to my great astonishment, Austin agreed to accompany me on a visit to Mumbai. Perhaps because he was in an ‘Indian’ phase, Rushdie, Suketu Mehta, Kiran Nagarkar. Having read all these authors he should have known what to expect, but living life at first hand is a wholly different experience. As a living encyclopaedia of quotations he treated me to a passage from Gregory David Roberts’ book Shantaram. “It smells of the stir and sleep and waste of sixty million animals, more than half of them humans and rats … It smells of ten thousand restaurants, five thousand temples, shrines, churches and mosques, and of a hundred bazaars.”

Together with Mumbai roads, perpetually congested and virtually impossible to navigate, Austin gave up and retired to my uncle’s apartment where we shared a sub-Hilton standard of accommodation. Since there was little point in going anywhere by car we took the train which, Uncle Shahid helpfully informed us, accommodates more than eight million commuters a day. A one-time experience was enough for Austin, declaring afterwards, “If there are eight million commuters why are they all on my train?”

“If you actually manage to get on, and actually get inside, you are squeezed between a fat lady and a malodorous hawker and, as I was gratuitously informed, it's a common occurrence for passengers to fall off, or get pushed out of, the train unless they are lucky enough to get a seat on the roof,” he added.

So, having retired to our unloved apartment, and to the books we had lugged halfway across the world, he settled for experiencing India at second hand. I didn’t argue but reminded him of some of the cultural experiences which he had appeared to enjoy.

“Didn’t you actually enjoy our stop at Churchgate station, watching all the mayhem, the dabbawalas unloading the tiffins from the trains, shouting and squabbling and eventually trundling these delicacies off to their customers’ offices?”

“Saves all these busy executives having to go out into the heat and dust,” he said, a reference which I recognised as the title of Ruth Prawer Jhabvala’s Pulitzer prize winning novel.

“As a lover of Indian food, I’m surprised you can be so negative.”

“Can’t beat a veg pakora and a Lamb Pasanda at the Shish Mahal in North Street,” he replied provocatively. The particular attraction of the Shish Mahal was its situation adjacent to the Mitchell library in Glasgow, described as ‘a world-famous reference library’ with an incredible selection of books, over five floors containing some of the finest collections available to any public library. Together with copies of every newspaper ever published in Scotland.’

That had been Austin’s second home where he had spent, or perhaps misspent, his student days in Glasgow when a few pints and a curry were a ritual reward for perusing prescribed readings until library closing time.

We do share a love of movies, perhaps the only topic on which we ever agree. When it comes to Indian films, however, we part company. Austin has only ever seen two – the 1958 film, Pather Panchali (‘Best Foreign Language Film’) and the Oscar-winning SlumdogMillionaire which he declared to be the most overrated movie ever, not even making it into IMBD’s top rated 250 films, he tells me. He quoted a range of reviews, one of which he had committed to his encyclopaedic memory:

“This proves to be one of the most upbeat stories about living in hell imaginable. It’s a life that begins in a vast, vibrant, sun-soaked, jampacked ghetto, a kaleidoscopic city of flimsy shacks and struggling humanity, its joyfulness feels more like a filmmaker’s calculation than an honest cry from the heart.”