A HISTORY OF THE LIFE OF ROXANA
I was born, as my friends told me,
at the city of Poitiers, in the province or county of Poitou, in
France, from whence I was brought to England by my parents, who
fled for their religion about the year 1683, when the Protestants
were banished from France by the cruelty of their
persecutors.I, who knew little or nothing of what I was brought over
hither for, was well enough pleased with being here. London, a
large and gay city, took with me mighty well, who, from my being a
child, loved a crowd, and to see a great many fine
folks.I retained nothing of France but the language, my father and
mother being people of better fashion than ordinarily the people
called refugees at that time were; and having fled early, while it
was easy to secure their effects, had, before their coming over,
remitted considerable sums of money, or, as I remember, a
considerable value in French brandy, paper, and other goods; and
these selling very much to advantage here, my father was in very
good circumstances at his coming over, so that he was far from
applying to the rest of our nation that were here for countenance
and relief. On the contrary, he had his door continually thronged
with miserable objects of the poor starving creatures who at that
time fled hither for shelter on account of conscience, or something
else.I have indeed heard my father say that he was pestered with a
great many of those who, for any religion they had, might e'en have
stayed where they were, but who flocked over hither in droves, for
what they call in English a livelihood; hearing with what open arms
the refugees were received in England, and how they fell readily
into business, being, by the charitable assistance of the people in
London, encouraged to work in their manufactories in Spitalfields,
Canterbury, and other places, and that they had a much better price
for their work than in France, and the like.My father, I say, told me that he was more pestered with the
clamours of these people than of those who were truly refugees, and
fled in distress merely for conscience.I was about ten years old when I was brought over hither,
where, as I have said, my father lived in very good circumstances,
and died in about eleven years more; in which time, as I had
accomplished myself for the sociable part of the world, so I had
acquainted myself with some of our English neighbours, as is the
custom in London; and as, while I was young, I had picked up three
or four playfellows and companions suitable to my years, so, as we
grew bigger, we learned to call one another intimates and friends;
and this forwarded very much the finishing me for conversation and
the world.I went to English schools, and being young, I learned the
English tongue perfectly well, with all the customs of the English
young women; so that I retained nothing of the French but the
speech; nor did I so much as keep any remains of the French
language tagged to my way of speaking, as most foreigners do, but
spoke what we call natural English, as if I had been born
here.Being to give my own character, I must be excused to give it
as impartially as possible, and as if I was speaking of another
body; and the sequel will lead you to judge whether I flatter
myself or no.I was (speaking of myself at about fourteen years of age)
tall, and very well made; sharp as a hawk in matters of common
knowledge; quick and smart in discourse; apt to be satirical; full
of repartee; and a little too forward in conversation, or, as we
call it in English, bold, though perfectly modest in my behaviour.
Being French born, I danced, as some say, naturally, loved it
extremely, and sang well also, and so well that, as you will hear,
it was afterwards some advantage to me. With all these things, I
wanted neither wit, beauty, or money. In this manner I set out into
the world, having all the advantages that any young woman could
desire, to recommend me to others, and form a prospect of happy
living to myself.At about fifteen years of age, my father gave me, as he
called it in French, 25,000 livres, that is to say, two thousand
pounds portion, and married me to an eminent brewer in the city.
Pardon me if I conceal his name; for though he was the foundation
of my ruin, I cannot take so severe a revenge upon him.With this thing called a husband I lived eight years in good
fashion, and for some part of the time kept a coach, that is to
say, a kind of mock coach; for all the week the horses were kept at
work in the dray-carts; but on Sunday I had the privilege to go
abroad in my chariot, either to church or otherways, as my husband
and I could agree about it, which, by the way, was not very often;
but of that hereafter.Before I proceed in the history of the married part of my
life, you must allow me to give as impartial an account of my
husband as I have done of myself. He was a jolly, handsome fellow,
as any woman need wish for a companion; tall and well made; rather
a little too large, but not so as to be ungenteel; he danced well,
which I think was the first thing that brought us together. He had
an old father who managed the business carefully, so that he had
little of that part lay on him, but now and then to appear and show
himself; and he took the advantage of it, for he troubled himself
very little about it, but went abroad, kept company, hunted much,
and loved it exceedingly.After I have told you that he was a handsome man and a good
sportsman, I have indeed said all; and unhappy was I, like other
young people of our sex, I chose him for being a handsome, jolly
fellow, as I have said; for he was otherwise a weak, empty-headed,
untaught creature, as any woman could ever desire to be coupled
with. And here I must take the liberty, whatever I have to reproach
myself with in my after conduct, to turn to my fellow-creatures,
the young ladies of this country, and speak to them by way of
precaution. If you have any regard to your future happiness, any
view of living comfortably with a husband, any hope of preserving
your fortunes, or restoring them after any disaster, never, ladies,
marry a fool; any husband rather than a fool. With some other
husbands you may be unhappy, but with a fool you will be miserable;
with another husband you may, I say, be unhappy, but with a fool
you must; nay, if he would, he cannot make you easy; everything he
does is so awkward, everything he says is so empty, a woman of any
sense cannot but be surfeited and sick of him twenty times a day.
What is more shocking than for a woman to bring a handsome, comely
fellow of a husband into company, and then be obliged to blush for
him every time she hears him speak? to hear other gentlemen talk
sense, and he able to say nothing? and so look like a fool, or,
which is worse, hear him talk nonsense, and be laughed at for a
fool.In the next place, there are so many sorts of fools, such an
infinite variety of fools, and so hard it is to know the worst of
the kind, that I am obliged to say, "No fool, ladies, at all, no
kind of fool, whether a mad fool or a sober fool, a wise fool or a
silly fool; take anything but a fool; nay, be anything, be even an
old maid, the worst of nature's curses, rather than take up with a
fool."But to leave this awhile, for I shall have occasion to speak
of it again; my case was particularly hard, for I had a variety of
foolish things complicated in this unhappy match.First, and which I must confess is very unsufferable, he was
a conceited fool,tout opiniatre; everything he said was right, was best, and was to the
purpose, whoever was in company, and whatever was advanced by
others, though with the greatest modesty imaginable. And yet, when
he came to defend what he had said by argument and reason, he would
do it so weakly, so emptily, and so nothing to the purpose, that it
was enough to make anybody that heard him sick and ashamed of
him.Secondly, he was positive and obstinate, and the most
positive in the most simple and inconsistent things, such as were
intolerable to bear.These two articles, if there had been no more, qualified him
to be a most unbearable creature for a husband; and so it may be
supposed at first sight what a kind of life I led with him.
However, I did as well as I could, and held my tongue, which was
the only victory I gained over him; for when he would talk after
his own empty rattling way with me, and I would not answer, or
enter into discourse with him on the point he was upon, he would
rise up in the greatest passion imaginable, and go away, which was
the cheapest way I had to be delivered.I could enlarge here much upon the method I took to make my
life passable and easy with the most incorrigible temper in the
world; but it is too long, and the articles too trifling. I shall
mention some of them as the circumstances I am to relate shall
necessarily bring them in.After I had been married about four years, my own father
died, my mother having been dead before. He liked my match so ill,
and saw so little room to be satisfied with the conduct of my
husband, that though he left me five thousand livres, and more, at
his death, yet he left it in the hands of my elder brother, who,
running on too rashly in his adventures as a merchant, failed, and
lost not only what he had, but what he had for me too, as you shall
hear presently.Thus I lost the last gift of my father's bounty by having a
husband not fit to be trusted with it: there's one of the benefits
of marrying a fool.Within two years after my own father's death my husband's
father also died, and, as I thought, left him a considerable
addition to his estate, the whole trade of the brewhouse, which was
a very good one, being now his own.But this addition to his stock was his ruin, for he had no
genius to business, he had no knowledge of his accounts; he bustled
a little about it, indeed, at first, and put on a face of business,
but he soon grew slack; it was below him to inspect his books, he
committed all that to his clerks and book-keepers; and while he
found money in cash to pay the maltman and the excise, and put some
in his pocket, he was perfectly easy and indolent, let the main
chance go how it would.I foresaw the consequence of this, and attempted several
times to persuade him to apply himself to his business; I put him
in mind how his customers complained of the neglect of his servants
on one hand, and how abundance broke in his debt, on the other
hand, for want of the clerk's care to secure him, and the like; but
he thrust me by, either with hard words, or fraudulently, with
representing the cases otherwise than they were.However, to cut short a dull story, which ought not to be
long, he began to find his trade sunk, his stock declined, and
that, in short, he could not carry on his business, and once or
twice his brewing utensils were extended for the excise; and, the
last time, he was put to great extremities to clear
them.This alarmed him, and he resolved to lay down his trade;
which, indeed, I was not sorry for; foreseeing that if he did not
lay it down in time, he would be forced to do it another way,
namely, as a bankrupt. Also I was willing he should draw out while
he had something left, lest I should come to be stripped at home,
and be turned out of doors with my children; for I had now five
children by him, the only work (perhaps) that fools are good
for.I thought myself happy when he got another man to take his
brewhouse clear off his hands; for, paying down a large sum of
money, my husband found himself a clear man, all his debts paid,
and with between two and three thousand pounds in his pocket; and
being now obliged to remove from the brewhouse, we took a house at
——, a village about two miles out of town; and happy I thought
myself, all things considered, that I was got off clear, upon so
good terms; and had my handsome fellow had but one capful of wit, I
had been still well enough.I proposed to him either to buy some place with the money, or
with part of it, and offered to join my part to it, which was then
in being, and might have been secured; so we might have lived
tolerably at least during his life. But as it is the part of a fool
to be void of counsel, so he neglected it, lived on as he did
before, kept his horses and men, rid every day out to the forest
a-hunting, and nothing was done all this while; but the money
decreased apace, and I thought I saw my ruin hastening on without
any possible way to prevent it.I was not wanting with all that persuasions and entreaties
could perform, but it was all fruitless; representing to him how
fast our money wasted, and what would be our condition when it was
gone, made no impression on him; but like one stupid, he went on,
not valuing all that tears and lamentations could be supposed to
do; nor did he abate his figure or equipage, his horses or
servants, even to the last, till he had not a hundred pounds left
in the whole world.It was not above three years that all the ready money was
thus spending off; yet he spent it, as I may say, foolishly too,
for he kept no valuable company neither, but generally with
huntsmen and horse-coursers, and men meaner than himself, which is
another consequence of a man's being a fool; such can never take
delight in men more wise and capable than themselves, and that
makes them converse with scoundrels, drink, belch with porters, and
keep company always below themselves.This was my wretched condition, when one morning my husband
told me he was sensible he was come to a miserable condition, and
he would go and seek his fortune somewhere or other. He had said
something to that purpose several times before that, upon my
pressing him to consider his circumstances, and the circumstances
of his family, before it should be too late; but as I found he had
no meaning in anything of that kind, as, indeed, he had not much in
anything he ever said, so I thought they were but words of course
now. When he had said he would be gone, I used to wish secretly,
and even say in my thoughts, I wish you would, for if you go on
thus you will starve us all.He stayed, however, at home all that day, and lay at home
that night; early the next morning he gets out of bed, goes to a
window which looked out towards the stable, and sounds his French
horn, as he called it, which was his usual signal to call his men
to go out a-hunting.It was about the latter end of August, and so was light yet
at five o'clock, and it was about that time that I heard him and
his two men go out and shut the yard gates after them. He said
nothing to me more than as usual when he used to go out upon his
sport; neither did I rise, or say anything to him that was
material, but went to sleep again after he was gone, for two hours
or thereabouts.It must be a little surprising to the reader to tell him at
once, that after this I never saw my husband more; but, to go
farther, I not only never saw him more, but I never heard from him,
or of him, neither of any or either of his two servants, or of the
horses, either what became of them, where or which way they went,
or what they did or intended to do, no more than if the ground had
opened and swallowed them all up, and nobody had known it, except
as hereafter.I was not, for the first night or two, at all surprised, no,
nor very much the first week or two, believing that if anything
evil had befallen them, I should soon enough have heard of that;
and also knowing, that as he had two servants and three horses with
him, it would be the strangest thing in the world that anything
could befall them all but that I must some time or other hear of
them.But you will easily allow, that as time ran on, a week, two
weeks, a month, two months, and so on, I was dreadfully frighted at
last, and the more when I looked into my own circumstances, and
considered the condition in which I was left with five children,
and not one farthing subsistence for them, other than about seventy
pounds in money, and what few things of value I had about me,
which, though considerable in themselves, were yet nothing to feed
a family, and for a length of time too.THE BREWER AND HIS MENI heard him and his two men go out and shut the yard gates
after themWhat to do I knew not, nor to whom to have recourse: to keep
in the house where I was, I could not, the rent being too great;
and to leave it without his orders, if my husband should return, I
could not think of that neither; so that I continued extremely
perplexed, melancholy, and discouraged to the last
degree.I remained in this dejected condition near a twelvemonth. My
husband had two sisters, who were married, and lived very well, and
some other near relations that I knew of, and I hoped would do
something for me; and I frequently sent to these, to know if they
could give me any account of my vagrant creature. But they all
declared to me in answer, that they knew nothing about him; and,
after frequent sending, began to think me troublesome, and to let
me know they thought so too, by their treating my maid with very
slight and unhandsome returns to her inquiries.This grated hard, and added to my affliction; but I had no
recourse but to my tears, for I had not a friend of my own left me
in the world. I should have observed, that it was about half a year
before this elopement of my husband that the disaster I mentioned
above befell my brother, who broke, and that in such bad
circumstances, that I had the mortification to hear, not only that
he was in prison, but that there would be little or nothing to be
had by way of composition.Misfortunes seldom come alone: this was the forerunner of my
husband's flight; and as my expectations were cut off on that side,
my husband gone, and my family of children on my hands, and nothing
to subsist them, my condition was the most deplorable that words
can express.I had some plate and some jewels, as might be supposed, my
fortune and former circumstances considered; and my husband, who
had never stayed to be distressed, had not been put to the
necessity of rifling me, as husbands usually do in such cases. But
as I had seen an end of all the ready money during the long time I
had lived in a state of expectation for my husband, so I began to
make away one thing after another, till those few things of value
which I had began to lessen apace, and I saw nothing but misery and
the utmost distress before me, even to have my children starve
before my face. I leave any one that is a mother of children, and
has lived in plenty and in good fashion, to consider and reflect
what must be my condition. As to my husband, I had now no hope or
expectation of seeing him any more; and indeed, if I had, he was a
man of all the men in the world the least able to help me, or to
have turned his hand to the gaining one shilling towards lessening
our distress; he neither had the capacity or the inclination; he
could have been no clerk, for he scarce wrote a legible hand; he
was so far from being able to write sense, that he could not make
sense of what others wrote; he was so far from understanding good
English, that he could not spell good English; to be out of all
business was his delight, and he would stand leaning against a post
for half-an-hour together, with a pipe in his mouth, with all the
tranquillity in the world, smoking, like Dryden's countryman, that
whistled as he went for want of thought, and this even when his
family was, as it were, starving, that little he had wasting, and
that we were all bleeding to death; he not knowing, and as little
considering, where to get another shilling when the last was
spent.This being his temper, and the extent of his capacity, I
confess I did not see so much loss in his parting with me as at
first I thought I did; though it was hard and cruel to the last
degree in him, not giving me the least notice of his design; and
indeed, that which I was most astonished at was, that seeing he
must certainly have intended this excursion some few moments at
least before he put it in practice, yet he did not come and take
what little stock of money we had left, or at least a share of it,
to bear his expense for a little while; but he did not; and I am
morally certain he had not five guineas with him in the world when
he went away. All that I could come to the knowledge of about him
was, that he left his hunting-horn, which he called the French
horn, in the stable, and his hunting-saddle, went away in a
handsome furniture, as they call it, which he used sometimes to
travel with, having an embroidered housing, a case of pistols, and
other things belonging to them; and one of his servants had another
saddle with pistols, though plain, and the other a long gun; so
that they did not go out as sportsmen, but rather as travellers;
what part of the world they went to I never heard for many
years.As I have said, I sent to his relations, but they sent me
short and surly answers; nor did any one of them offer to come to
see me, or to see the children, or so much as to inquire after
them, well perceiving that I was in a condition that was likely to
be soon troublesome to them. But it was no time now to dally with
them or with the world; I left off sending to them, and went myself
among them, laid my circumstances open to them, told them my whole
case, and the condition I was reduced to, begged they would advise
me what course to take, laid myself as low as they could desire,
and entreated them to consider that I was not in a condition to
help myself, and that without some assistance we must all
inevitably perish. I told them that if I had had but one child, or
two children, I would have done my endeavour to have worked for
them with my needle, and should only have come to them to beg them
to help me to some work, that I might get our bread by my labour;
but to think of one single woman, not bred to work, and at a loss
where to get employment, to get the bread of five children, that
was not possible—some of my children being young too, and none of
them big enough to help one another.It was all one; I received not one farthing of assistance
from anybody, was hardly asked to sit down at the two sisters'
houses, nor offered to eat or drink at two more near relations'.
The fifth, an ancient gentlewoman, aunt-in-law to my husband, a
widow, and the least able also of any of the rest, did, indeed, ask
me to sit down, gave me a dinner, and refreshed me with a kinder
treatment than any of the rest, but added the melancholy part,
viz., that she would have helped me, but that, indeed, she was not
able, which, however, I was satisfied was very true.Here I relieved myself with the constant assistant of the
afflicted, I mean tears; for, relating to her how I was received by
the other of my husband's relations, it made me burst into tears,
and I cried vehemently for a great while together, till I made the
good old gentlewoman cry too several times.However, I came home from them all without any relief, and
went on at home till I was reduced to such inexpressible distress
that is not to be described. I had been several times after this at
the old aunt's, for I prevailed with her to promise me to go and
talk with the other relations, at least, that, if possible, she
could bring some of them to take off the children, or to contribute
something towards their maintenance. And, to do her justice, she
did use her endeavour with them; but all was to no purpose, they
would do nothing, at least that way. I think, with much entreaty,
she obtained, by a kind of collection among them all, about eleven
or twelve shillings in money, which, though it was a present
comfort, was yet not to be named as capable to deliver me from any
part of the load that lay upon me.There was a poor woman that had been a kind of a dependent
upon our family, and whom I had often, among the rest of the
relations, been very kind to; my maid put it into my head one
morning to send to this poor woman, and to see whether she might
not be able to help in this dreadful case.I must remember it here, to the praise of this poor girl, my
maid, that though I was not able to give her any wages, and had
told her so—nay, I was not able to pay her the wages that I was in
arrears to her—yet she would not leave me; nay, and as long as she
had any money, when I had none, she would help me out of her own,
for which, though I acknowledged her kindness and fidelity, yet it
was but a bad coin that she was paid in at last, as will appear in
its place.Amy (for that was her name) put it into my thoughts to send
for this poor woman to come to me; for I was now in great distress,
and I resolved to do so. But just the very morning that I intended
it, the old aunt, with the poor woman in her company, came to see
me; the good old gentlewoman was, it seems, heartily concerned for
me, and had been talking again among those people, to see what she
could do for me, but to very little purpose.You shall judge a little of my present distress by the
posture she found me in. I had five little children, the eldest was
under ten years old, and I had not one shilling in the house to buy
them victuals, but had sent Amy out with a silver spoon to sell it,
and bring home something from the butcher's; and I was in a
parlour, sitting on the ground, with a great heap of old rags,
linen, and other things about me, looking them over, to see if I
had anything among them that would sell or pawn for a little money,
and had been crying ready to burst myself, to think what I should
do next.At this juncture they knocked at the door. I thought it had
been Amy, so I did not rise up; but one of the children opened the
door, and they came directly into the room where I was, and where
they found me in that posture, and crying vehemently, as above. I
was surprised at their coming, you may be sure, especially seeing
the person I had but just before resolved to send for; but when
they saw me, how I looked, for my eyes were swelled with crying,
and what a condition I was in as to the house, and the heaps of
things that were about me, and especially when I told them what I
was doing, and on what occasion, they sat down, like Job's three
comforters, and said not one word to me for a great while, but both
of them cried as fast and as heartily as I did.The truth was, there was no need of much discourse in the
case, the thing spoke itself; they saw me in rags and dirt, who was
but a little before riding in my coach; thin, and looking almost
like one starved, who was before fat and beautiful. The house, that
was before handsomely furnished with pictures and ornaments,
cabinets, pier-glasses, and everything suitable, was now stripped
and naked, most of the goods having been seized by the landlord for
rent, or sold to buy necessaries; in a word, all was misery and
distress, the face of ruin was everywhere to be seen; we had eaten
up almost everything, and little remained, unless, like one of the
pitiful women of Jerusalem, I should eat up my very children
themselves.After these two good creatures had sat, as I say, in silence
some time, and had then looked about them, my maid Amy came in, and
brought with her a small breast of mutton and two great bunches of
turnips, which she intended to stew for our dinner. As for me, my
heart was so overwhelmed at seeing these two friends—for such they
were, though poor—and at their seeing me in such a condition, that
I fell into another violent fit of crying, so that, in short, I
could not speak to them again for a great while longer.During my being in such an agony, they went to my maid Amy at
another part of the same room and talked with her. Amy told them
all my circumstances, and set them forth in such moving terms, and
so to the life, that I could not upon any terms have done it like
her myself, and, in a word, affected them both with it in such a
manner, that the old aunt came to me, and though hardly able to
speak for tears, "Look ye, cousin," said she, in a few words,
"things must not stand thus; some course must be taken, and that
forthwith; pray, where were these children born?" I told her the
parish where we lived before, that four of them were born there,
and one in the house where I now was, where the landlord, after
having seized my goods for the rent past, not then knowing my
circumstances, had now given me leave to live for a whole year more
without any rent, being moved with compassion; but that this year
was now almost expired.Upon hearing this account, they came to this resolution, that
the children should be all carried by them to the door of one of
the relations mentioned above, and be set down there by the maid
Amy, and that I, the mother, should remove for some days, shut up
the doors, and be gone; that the people should be told, that if
they did not think fit to take some care of the children, they
might send for the churchwardens if they thought that better, for
that they were born in that parish, and there they must be provided
for; as for the other child, which was born in the parish of ——,
that was already taken care of by the parish officers there, for
indeed they were so sensible of the distress of the family that
they had at first word done what was their part to do.This was what these good women proposed, and bade me leave
the rest to them. I was at first sadly afflicted at the thoughts of
parting with my children, and especially at that terrible thing,
their being taken into the parish keeping; and then a hundred
terrible things came into my thoughts, viz., of parish children
being starved at nurse; of their being ruined, let grow crooked,
lamed, and the like, for want of being taken care of; and this sunk
my very heart within me.But the misery of my own circumstances hardened my heart
against my own flesh and blood; and when I considered they must
inevitably be starved, and I too if I continued to keep them about
me, I began to be reconciled to parting with them all, anyhow and
anywhere, that I might be freed from the dreadful necessity of
seeing them all perish, and perishing with them myself. So I agreed
to go away out of the house, and leave the management of the whole
matter to my maid Amy and to them; and accordingly I did so, and
the same afternoon they carried them all away to one of their
aunts.Amy, a resolute girl, knocked at the door, with the children
all with her, and bade the eldest, as soon as the door was open,
run in, and the rest after her. She set them all down at the door
before she knocked, and when she knocked she stayed till a
maid-servant came to the door; "Sweetheart," said she, "pray go in
and tell your mistress here are her little cousins come to see her
from ——," naming the town where we lived, at which the maid offered
to go back. "Here, child," says Amy, "take one of 'em in your hand,
and I'll bring the rest;" so she gives her the least, and the wench
goes in mighty innocently, with the little one in her hand, upon
which Amy turns the rest in after her, shuts the door softly, and
marches off as fast as she could.Just in the interval of this, and even while the maid and her
mistress were quarrelling (for the mistress raved and scolded her
like a mad woman, and had ordered her to go and stop the maid Amy,
and turn all the children out of the doors again; but she had been
at the door, and Amy was gone, and the wench was out of her wits,
and the mistress too), I say, just at this juncture came the poor
old woman, not the aunt, but the other of the two that had been
with me, and knocks at the door: the aunt did not go, because she
had pretended to advocate for me, and they would have suspected her
of some contrivance; but as for the other woman, they did not so
much as know that she had kept up any correspondence with
me.Amy and she had concerted this between them, and it was well
enough contrived that they did so. When she came into the house,
the mistress was fuming, and raging like one distracted, and called
the maid all the foolish jades and sluts that she could think of,
and that she would take the children and turn them all out into the
streets. The good poor woman, seeing her in such a passion, turned
about as if she would be gone again, and said, "Madam, I'll come
again another time, I see you are engaged." "No, no, Mrs. ——," says
the mistress, "I am not much engaged, sit down; this senseless
creature here has brought in my fool of a brother's whole house of
children upon me, and tells me that a wench brought them to the
door and thrust them in, and bade her carry them to me; but it
shall be no disturbance to me, for I have ordered them to be set in
the street without the door, and so let the churchwardens take care
of them, or else make this dull jade carry 'em back to —— again,
and let her that brought them into the world look after them if she
will; what does she send her brats to me for?""The last indeed had been the best of the two," says the poor
woman, "if it had been to be done; and that brings me to tell you
my errand, and the occasion of my coming, for I came on purpose
about this very business, and to have prevented this being put upon
you if I could, but I see I am come too late.""How do you mean too late?" says the mistress. "What! have
you been concerned in this affair, then? What! have you helped
bring this family slur upon us?" "I hope you do not think such a
thing of me, madam," says the poor woman; "but I went this morning
to ——, to see my old mistress and benefactor, for she had been very
kind to me, and when I came to the door I found all fast locked and
bolted, and the house looking as if nobody was at home."I knocked at the door, but nobody came, till at last some of
the neighbours' servants called to me and said, 'There's nobody
lives there, mistress; what do you knock for?' I seemed surprised
at that. 'What, nobody lives there!' said I; 'what d'ye mean? Does
not Mrs. —— live there?' The answer was, 'No, she is gone;' at
which I parleyed with one of them, and asked her what was the
matter. 'Matter!' says she, 'why, it is matter enough: the poor
gentlewoman has lived there all alone, and without anything to
subsist her a long time, and this morning the landlord turned her
out of doors.'"'Out of doors!' says I; 'what! with all her children? Poor
lambs, what is become of them?' 'Why, truly, nothing worse,' said
they, 'can come to them than staying here, for they were almost
starved with hunger; so the neighbours, seeing the poor lady in
such distress, for she stood crying and wringing her hands over her
children like one distracted, sent for the churchwardens to take
care of the children; and they, when they came, took the youngest,
which was born in this parish, and have got it a very good nurse,
and taken care of it; but as for the other four, they had sent them
away to some of their father's relations, and who were very
substantial people, and who, besides that, lived in the parish
where they were born.'"I was not so surprised at this as not presently to foresee
that this trouble would be brought upon you or upon Mr. ——; so I
came immediately to bring word of it, that you might be prepared
for it, and might not be surprised; but I see they have been too
nimble for me, so that I know not what to advise. The poor woman,
it seems, is turned out of doors into the street; and another of
the neighbours there told me, that when they took her children from
her she swooned away, and when they recovered her out of that, she
ran distracted, and is put into a madhouse by the parish, for there
is nobody else to take any care of her."This was all acted to the life by this good, kind, poor
creature; for though her design was perfectly good and charitable,
yet there was not one word of it true in fact; for I was not turned
out of doors by the landlord, nor gone distracted. It was true,
indeed, that at parting with my poor children I fainted, and was
like one mad when I came to myself and found they were gone; but I
remained in the house a good while after that, as you shall
hear.While the poor woman was telling this dismal story, in came
the gentlewoman's husband, and though her heart was hardened
against all pity, who was really and nearly related to the
children, for they were the children of her own brother, yet the
good man was quite softened with the dismal relation of the
circumstances of the family; and when the poor woman had done, he
said to his wife, "This is a dismal case, my dear, indeed, and
something must be done." His wife fell a-raving at him: "What,"
says she, "do you want to have four children to keep? Have we not
children of our own? Would you have these brats come and eat up my
children's bread? No, no, let 'em go to the parish, and let them
take care of them; I'll take care of my own.""Come, come, my dear," says the husband, "charity is a duty
to the poor, and he that gives to the poor lends to the Lord; let
us lend our heavenly Father a little of our children's bread, as
you call it; it will be a store well laid up for them, and will be
the best security that our children shall never come to want
charity, or be turned out of doors, as these poor innocent
creatures are." "Don't tell me of security," says the wife, "'tis a
good security for our children to keep what we have together, and
provide for them, and then 'tis time enough to help keep other
folks' children. Charity begins at home.""Well, my dear," says he again, "I only talk of putting out a
little money to interest: our Maker is a good borrower; never fear
making a bad debt there, child, I'll be bound for it.""Don't banter me with your charity and your allegories," says
the wife angrily; "I tell you they are my relations, not yours, and
they shall not roost here; they shall go to the parish.""All your relations are my relations now," says the good
gentleman very calmly, "and I won't see your relations in distress,
and not pity them, any more than I would my own; indeed, my dear,
they shan't go to the parish. I assure you, none of my wife's
relations shall come to the parish, if I can help it.""What! will you take four children to keep?" says the
wife."No, no, my dear," says he, "there's your sister ——, I'll go
and talk with her; and your uncle ——, I'll send for him, and the
rest. I'll warrant you, when we are all together, we will find ways
and means to keep four poor little creatures from beggary and
starving, or else it would be very hard; we are none of us in so
bad circumstances but we are able to spare a mite for the
fatherless. Don't shut up your bowels of compassion against your
own flesh and blood. Could you hear these poor innocent children
cry at your door for hunger, and give them no bread?""Prithee, what need they cry at our door?" says she. "'Tis
the business of the parish to provide for them; they shan't cry at
our door. If they do, I'll give them nothing." "Won't you?" says
he; "but I will. Remember that dreadful Scripture is directly
against us, Prov. xxi. 13, 'Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of
the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be
heard.'""Well, well," says she, "you must do what you will, because
you pretend to be master; but if I had my will I would send them
where they ought to be sent: I would send them from whence they
came."Then the poor woman put in, and said, "But, madam, that is
sending them to starve indeed, for the parish has no obligation to
take care of 'em, and so they will lie and perish in the
street.""Or be sent back again," says the husband, "to our parish in
a cripple-cart, by the justice's warrant, and so expose us and all
the relations to the last degree among our neighbours, and among
those who know the good old gentleman their grandfather, who lived
and flourished in this parish so many years, and was so well
beloved among all people, and deserved it so well.""I don't value that one farthing, not I," says the wife;
"I'll keep none of them.""Well, my dear," says her husband, "but I value it, for I
won't have such a blot lie upon the family, and upon your children;
he was a worthy, ancient, and good man, and his name is respected
among all his neighbours; it will be a reproach to you, that are
his daughter, and to our children, that are his grandchildren, that
we should let your brother's children perish, or come to be a
charge to the public, in the very place where your family once
flourished. Come, say no more; I will see what can be
done."Upon this he sends and gathers all the relations together at
a tavern hard by, and sent for the four little children, that they
might see them; and they all, at first word, agreed to have them
taken care of, and, because his wife was so furious that she would
not suffer one of them to be kept at home, they agreed to keep them
all together for a while; so they committed them to the poor woman
that had managed the affair for them, and entered into obligations
to one another to supply the needful sums for their maintenance;
and, not to have one separated from the rest, they sent for the
youngest from the parish where it was taken in, and had them all
brought up together.It would take up too long a part of this story to give a
particular account with what a charitable tenderness this good
person, who was but an uncle-in-law to them, managed that affair;
how careful he was of them; went constantly to see them, and to see
that they were well provided for, clothed, put to school, and, at
last, put out in the world for their advantage; but it is enough to
say he acted more like a father to them than an uncle-in-law,
though all along much against his wife's consent, who was of a
disposition not so tender and compassionate as her
husband.You may believe I heard this with the same pleasure which I
now feel at the relating it again; for I was terribly affrighted at
the apprehensions of my children being brought to misery and
distress, as those must be who have no friends, but are left to
parish benevolence.I was now, however, entering on a new scene of life. I had a
great house upon my hands, and some furniture left in it; but I was
no more able to maintain myself and my maid Amy in it than I was my
five children; nor had I anything to subsist with but what I might
get by working, and that was not a town where much work was to be
had.My landlord had been very kind indeed after he came to know
my circumstances; though, before he was acquainted with that part,
he had gone so far as to seize my goods, and to carry some of them
off too.But I had lived three-quarters of a year in his house after
that, and had paid him no rent, and, which was worse, I was in no
condition to pay him any. However, I observed he came oftener to
see me, looked kinder upon me, and spoke more friendly to me, than
he used to do, particularly the last two or three times he had been
there. He observed, he said, how poorly I lived, how low I was
reduced, and the like; told me it grieved him for my sake; and the
last time of all he was kinder still, told me he came to dine with
me, and that I should give him leave to treat me; so he called my
maid Amy, and sent her out to buy a joint of meat; he told her what
she should buy; but naming two or three things, either of which she
might take, the maid, a cunning wench, and faithful to me as the
skin to my back, did not buy anything outright, but brought the
butcher along with her, with both the things that she had chosen,
for him to please himself. The one was a large, very good leg of
veal; the other a piece of the fore-ribs of roasting beef. He
looked at them, but made me chaffer with the butcher for him, and I
did so, and came back to him and told him what the butcher had
demanded for either of them, and what each of them came to. So he
pulls out eleven shillings and threepence, which they came to
together, and bade me take them both; the rest, he said, would
serve another time.I was surprised, you may be sure, at the bounty of a man that
had but a little while ago been my terror, and had torn the goods
out of my house like a fury; but I considered that my distresses
had mollified his temper, and that he had afterwards been so
compassionate as to give me leave to live rent free in the house a
whole year.But now he put on the face, not of a man of compassion only,
but of a man of friendship and kindness, and this was so unexpected
that it was surprising. We chatted together, and were, as I may
call it, cheerful, which was more than I could say I had been for
three years before. He sent for wine and beer too, for I had none;
poor Amy and I had drank nothing but water for many weeks, and
indeed I have often wondered at the faithful temper of the poor
girl, for which I but ill requited her at last.When Amy was come with the wine, he made her fill a glass to
him, and with the glass in his hand he came to me and kissed me,
which I was, I confess, a little surprised at, but more at what
followed; for he told me, that as the sad condition which I was
reduced to had made him pity me, so my conduct in it, and the
courage I bore it with, had given him a more than ordinary respect
for me, and made him very thoughtful for my good; that he was
resolved for the present to do something to relieve me, and to
employ his thoughts in the meantime, to see if he could for the
future put me into a way to support myself.