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Con man Zalmon and his gang of grifters fleece followers of Jesus Christ in biblical Galilee…until Vashti, a beautiful face from the past, makes an offer they can’t refuse: unless the grifters kidnap an Apostle, their crimes will be exposed to Christ and his army of disciples. Vashti plans to use the Apostle as leverage to get Christ to raise her lover from the dead, like Lazarus…but things don’t go exactly as she plans. Abduction leads to bloodshed, as Zalmon makes desperate choices, and powerful forces collide in a timeless struggle on the sands of Galilee.
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THE MESSIAH BUSINESS
A BIBLICAL MYSTERY TALE
ROBERT JESCHONEK
CONTENTS
Also by Robert Jeschonek
The Messiah Business
About the Author
Special Preview: The Masked Family
THE MESSIAH BUSINESS
Copyright © 2023 by Robert Jeschonek
http://bobscribe.com/
Cover Art Copyright © 2023 by Ben Baldwin
www.benbaldwin.co.uk
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved by the author.
A Pie Press book
Published by Busted Books
411 Chancellor Street
Johnstown, Pennsylvania 15904
www.piepresspublishing.com
ALSO BY ROBERT JESCHONEK
Crimes in the Key of Murder
Death by Polka
Six Crime Stories Volume One
The First Detect-Eve
The Masked Family
The Other Waiter
Who Unkilled Johnny Murder?
THE MESSIAH BUSINESS
I never met Jesus Christ. I followed him around for about six months, making a nice living off him all that time, but I never talked to the guy.
I almost tangled with him, though, thanks to Vashti. It was all her idea, that scumsucking piece of work.
Leave it to her to think of kidnapping an apostle. And leave it to me--Zalmon, dope of the century--to be dumb enough to go along with it.
* * *
Before Vashti mucked everything up--and not for the first time, either--the gang and I were doing real well with our chosen field. The messiah business has always been a good one around these parts, but it was never better than when Christ was making the rounds.
I wish I could go back to those days, before things fell apart. Looking back, they were some of the best days of my life...right before some of the worst.
And it was all thanks to Christ. He had a real way about him, you know? Had lots of charisma. And he really knew how to draw a crowd. A big crowd, like a flock of sheep swarming around a shepherd.
Which the gang and I would proceed to fleece in every possible way.
* * *
People say Christ performed miracles, but let me tell you about the real magicians and the good work they did.
Huldah wasn't much to look at, a mousey type with stringy black hair and a constant sad look on her face...but she was the best pickpocket I've ever met. While Christ made his latest inspired speech, Huldah worked the crowd like a shadow, lifting coins from pockets and purses without ever drawing attention.
Asher was our fastest talker, a master of separating pilgrims from their cash with nothing but his good looks and silver tongue. By the time he was done chatting up a Christian, he'd walk away with a nice share of their money or other goodies, giving nothing in exchange but flattery and false promises.
Then there was Naamah, our resident flirt. Red-haired and beautiful, she could charm any man out of his hard-earned shekels in a heartbeat...or just distract him while Huldah picked his pocket.
As for Boaz, he was all about the merchandise. If Christ touched a rock or dropped a crust of bread, Boaz was right there behind him, grabbing it up for resale. Pilgrims couldn't get enough of those Christ-touched souvenirs, authentic or otherwise.
Which brings us to me. I was an information gatherer, finding out important facts and putting our biggest scores in motion. I would find out where certain pilgrims were from, for example, so the gang could rob their homes while they were out being enlightened by Christ.
But that wasn't my original job, you know. In the old days, I was more like Christ--a messiah figure roaming the landscape. Someone had to bring in the crowds and keep the gang fed between appearances by other so-called messiahs, right?
I had a real flair for the work, too. You should've seen me giving my sermons and teaching parables and pulling doves out of my sleeves and such. I kept things rolling during some lean times in Galilee.
At least until the whole thing crashed down around me, which is how I ended up doing the information gathering thing.
Did I mention Vashti set that mess in motion, too?
* * *
But let's get back to the apostle-napping.
A year after Vashti wrecked our fake messiah scam, the gang and I were living off the crowds that followed Christ around Galilee and the surrounding area. We fleeced the unwary, exploited the pious, and ejected any outsiders who tried to move in on our action.
On one morning in particular, we were going about our business on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. The crowd around Christ was bigger than usual, with lots of new faces, so we had more than enough work to keep us occupied.
Huldah was finding good pickings on the purse and pocket front, and Naamah was stirring up strong interest from the men and boys in the group. Merchandise sales were solid, according to Boaz, and smooth-talking Asher was having his best morning in ages.
My day was looking up, too. I'd overheard enough to know an entire village was sitting empty and undefended, ripe for the plucking.
There was just one thing I didn't count on, and it was enough to wipe the smile right off my face. She was, I should say.
The true shape of the day started to make itself known just as I was harvesting the last bits of information about the location of the empty village. "So it's on the other side of the valley, then?"
The old man I'd been talking to nodded slowly. "If you do come, you will be welcome." The old man looked past me and gestured toward Christ, who was speaking at the front of the crowd some fifty heads distant. "Perhaps we can discuss today's lesson, yes?"
I smiled warmly, as if I had any intention of doing as he'd said. "That would be wonderful, thank you."
"Good day to you then." The old man edged past me, moving closer to Christ.
Just then, a woman's voice spoke in my ear. "Chump."
Spooked, I jumped and spun around. There she was, as striking as ever--all glittering brown eyes and flowing black hair. I hadn't seen her in a year, yet it was as if no time at all had passed between us.
"Hello there, Zalmon." Her crooked smile made her look sultry and wily...also smarter than me or just about anyone. "So good to see you, my darling."
Dozens of responses flashed through my mind, but all I could manage was this: "Hello, Vashti."
Looking around, she deepened her crooked smile. "I see the gang's all here." She was only an inch taller than I and had to crane her neck to see over the crowd. "Asher, Naamah, Huldah, even Boaz. How sweet." She swung her smile back around to me. "Good to know there are still some things I can count on."
"What do you want, Vashti?" I asked her. "Why are you here?"
"Would you believe, to learn at the feet of the master?" She nodded toward Christ, then laughed. "I didn't think so! Would you believe I'm here to rat you out, instead? To tell the pilgrims what you and your gang have been up to?"
I shrugged. "They're Christians. They won't hurt us."
"Maybe." Vashti's earrings--golden diamond-shaped affairs as big as the ears they hung from--flashed in the sunlight as she giggled. "But I bet they'll still ban your asses."
She had me and she knew it. I felt an invisible leash snapping tight around my neck, the handle in her hands.
I sighed. "What do you want, Vashti?"
Looking satisfied, she raised her chin. "Get your little pals together and meet me down by those rocks." She gestured toward a nearby jetty. "And don't make me wait."
* * *
