The Success Of Failure - Bhushan Kachru - E-Book

The Success Of Failure E-Book

Bhushan Kachru

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Beschreibung

Don’t hang up just hang in

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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

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ISBN 978-93-505733-6-5

DISCLAIMER

While every attempt has been made to provide accurate and timely information in this book, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, unintended omissions or commissions detected therein. The author and publisher make no representation or warranty with respect to the comprehensiveness or completeness of the contents provided.

All matters included have been simplified under professional guidance for general information only without any warranty for applicability on an individual. Any mention of an organization or a website in the book by way of citation or as a source of additional information doesn't imply the endorsement of the content either by the author or the publisher. It is possible that websites cited may have changed or removed between the time of editing and publishing the book.

Results from using the expert opinion in this book will be totally dependent on individual circumstances and factors beyond the control of the author and the publisher.

It makes sense to elicit advice from well informed sources before implementing the ideas given in the book. The reader assumes full responsibility for the consequences arising out from reading this book. For proper guidance, it is advisable to read the book under the watchful eyes of parents/guardian. The purchaser of this book assumes all responsibility for the use of given materials and information. The copyright of the entire content of this book rests with the author/publisher. Any infringement/ transmission of the cover design, text or illustrations, in any form, by any means, by any entity will invite legal action and be responsible for consequences thereon.

Contents

Part 1 – Significance of Failure

Don on your Back, Look up, Get up and March Ahead

Chapter 1 Don't Rock Your Boat on a Failure

Chapter 2 What is a Failure?

Chapter 3 The Positive Power of Failure

Chapter 4 Failure opens up Many Routes to Success

Part 2 – Managing Failure

Chapter 5 Don't get Haunted by the Fear of Failure

Chapter 6 Failure – An Opportunity in Learning

Chapter 7 How to Handle Stress on a Failure

Chapter 8 How to Cope up with Failure

Part 3 – Towards Stitching Success

Chapter 9 Transform Self to Succeed in Life

Chapter 10 Perform an Honest Self-Assessment

Chapter 11 Blueprint for Success

Chapter 12 Boost up Your Mind Power

Chapter 13 Developing a Positive and Agile Mind-set

Chapter 14 How to Build a Tough Mental Attitude

Chapter 15 Road Map to Goal Setting

Chapter 16 How to Stay Focussed

Chapter 17 Work on your Optimism Levels

Chapter 18 Build on Self -Confidence

Chapter 19 Techniques to Build Self-Motivation

Chapter 20 Power the Self with Determination and Persistence

Chapter 21 Out with the Negative Thinking Patterns

Chapter 22 Frustration, An Unavoidable Part of Success

Chapter 23 Making Right Choices – The Foreword to Success

Chapter 24 Be Desperate when Things Don't Go Right

Chapter 25 Patience – A Boon when Going Gets Tough

Chapter 26 Meet the Travellers on their Path to Zenith

Publisher's Note

V&S Publishers has come up with a number of books on Personality Development and Self -Enhancement, a type of motivation that works to make people feel good about themselves and to maintain one's self-esteem. The Success of Failure is also one among these exclusive self-motivational and self-development books written by an eminent and veteran writer, Prof. Bhushan Kachru, who has an illustrious career of over four decades in Human Resource and Development, Corporate Training, Motivational Coaching and Counselling, Personal Growth and Development, etc.

The book provides a complete and in-depth insight into a person's mental state, who has failed once or twice to achieve his/her goal or target in life and feels dejected and disappointed. According to the author, these failures should inspire the person to fuel power within himself/herself and generate the drive and passion to stay focussed amidst all such disappointments.

This book basically inspires us to convert all our failures into success and learn how to imbibe the ‘can do attitude’ to create new directions to speed up our success campaign.

Therefore, it is a ‘must read’ for all those who feel that they are at a crossroad in their personal or professional lives due to personal or professional failures and want to begin their success campaign all over again with new vigour and enthusiasm.

In the loving memory of

my respected parents

Amar Nath Kachru andSatyawati Kachru

Foreword

Failure is a temporary stopover en route to one's cherished desire of accomplishing success. It is an opportunity to seize a lost dream and to refurbish self before recommencing journey to usher in a new dawn with new hope and vigour. The subject of failure is rarely touched upon because generally, people believe that this is a dreaded word, negative sign and bad prophecy. Surprisingly, most forget that ‘Failure is the mother of Success’ and that one can change and succeed with the power of failure.

This book is a road map to move beyond personal failures and disappointments and is full of practical suggestions, tips and techniques. I feel it will be an eye-opener and useful for students, business executives, engineers, professionals, entrepreneurs and those who are absorbed in tracking down their success goals. Failure is a passing phase of life that may leave one feeling helpless, unhappy, alienated and low on feelings. But no one irrespective of positions, levels, might or richness has shadowed away from it. In fact, their failures became a pedestal and pledge to conquer success.

Failure is often a Guru that teaches what otherwise one would not learn. It gives a sense of direction and chance to reassess self, mistakes and execute a well thought out plan to bounce back and be in reckoning. Failure is never final, just like success. So run, knock, stumble, bend, jump and dash to your goals so that you are unstoppable and cruise your way to success.

To overcome failures, start with small goals and practise to build the habit of achieving success by unlocking the faculties of mind and giving fear, disappointments, difficulties a permanent go by in a planned way. On using the guidelines given in the book successfully, there would be incremental gains and positive results are bound to ensue gradually Remember, there is no ready-made formula to accomplish success except assess and change your actions, behaviour, be focussed and patiently work hard on your objective. In order to follow your dreams, it is all about what you are prepared to sacrifice and what move really inspires you.

I take this opportunity to welcome Prof. Bhushan Kachru's initiative, enthusiasm and efforts in writing this simple, empowering and motivating self-help book containing practical and realistic guidelines. I am confident the book will generate much needed interest and mental comfort for all those who fail in their success pursuits and feel that they are at a crossroad in their professional life. It will surely stimulate, arouse and activate their resilience to fight it out and turn tables on failures.

25th July, 2012                                              Dr. H. Chaturvedi

DirectorBirla Institute of Management Technology (BIMTECH)Greater Noida (NCR) UP-201306

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,When the funds are tow and the debts are highAnd you want to smite, but you have to sigh,When care is pressing you down a bit,Rest, If you must, but do not quit.Life is queer with its twists and turnsAs every one of us sometimes learnsAnd many a failure turns aboutWhen he might have won, had he stuck it out;Don't give up though the pace seems stowYou may succeed with another blow.Success is failure turned inside out —The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,And you never can tell how close you are,It may be near when it seems so far;So stick to the fight when you re hardest hit —It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

—Anonymous

Acknowledgements

This book has been written with the help and encouragement of many and I am deeply indebted to all of them. However, it is a special pleasure to acknowledge the contributions of the following:

I am obliged to various authors, great philosophers and thinkers for having used their astounding, useful and pertinent quotes, references and sayings which has made the book captivating. But for these, the objectives of the book would have been incomplete. These quotes will go a long way in inspiring and arousing the readers to fight out their failures with zeal and give a new lease of life to their endeavors.

I am grateful for the encouragement and blessings received from my elders, Mr. P. N. Dhar and Mrs. Veena Dhar. I offer special thanks for their help and inspiration. I am thankful to Dr. H. Chaturvedi, Director, Birla Institute of Management Technology (BIMTECH) for agreeing to write foreword to the book.

I am appreciative of my consort, Rita Kachru for her love, support and help in supplementing the book with various practical examples from day to day life and also feeding me with nutritious food to remain agile. It was magnanimous of her to hold my hand in moments of extreme gloominess and despair. If it wasn't for her, I would have never realised that there is ‘Success hidden in every Failure’.

I am proud of my children who at each stage stood behind me like a solid rock and kept driving me to march ahead:

(Daughter) Barkha Dhar, a budding published writer and blogger (dharbarkha.blogspot.com) based in USA for providing her invaluable insight and out of the box quotes and a beautiful and crisp couplet on mind. I highly appreciate her efforts in going through some parts of the manuscript and giving her valuable and intellectual inputs.

Son Aditya Kachru, for his innovative and creative communication inputs, valued contributions in designing a creative and inspired book cover. His timeless contributions on many facets of failure-success saga and continued prop up are highly appreciative.

(Son-in-law) Nitin Dhar, has been highly generous in motivating, sharing his personal experiences and helping in launching the book on social networking sites and You Tube.

Much of the credit goes to my grandchild, Aashman Dhar whose innocent emotions and fervour became an impetus to understand the child behaviour and draw inferences on how these manifest into our personality dynamics as we grow in life.

Although children are physically away, but they are true example of “child is the father of man.” They were always found inspiring, stimulating and motivating.

I sincerely acknowledge and thank Mr. Arun Kaul, Mrs. Anita Kaul and many dear and near ones, for their continued rallying around and propping up during times of gloom and disappointments.

Last but certainly not the least, Mr. Sahil Gupta, Director, V&S Publishers, Delhi and his team for their belief in the project and constant support and guidance.

– Prof. Bhushan Kachru

“Failure is the mother of success. We all know how mothers are. They nurture us and their constant presence is like an endless inspiration. So live through failures and learn from your crashes, collapses and defeats.”

Preface

Ioffer “The Success of Failure,” to all those who feel that they are at a crossroad in their professional life due to personal failures. They may often feel helpless as to what they need to do to march ahead to secure their future. This book is therefore specially written for you and will help you with the insight needed to create and sustain the “Can Do Attitude.” Once you learn the truth of how being resilient and hard-wearing works, you will be able to begin building the belief in your self and march ahead with your success campaign.

“The Success of Failure” is a blue print for rebuilding from ground zero on a personal failure and how to turn disappointments and letdowns to success. The ideas and practical suggestions brought forth in this book will be of immense use while undertaking campaigning for success. Remember failure is neither a severe imperfection nor a social syndrome that makes you less valuable. It is a temporary phase of life that may leave you feeling helpless, unhappy, alienated and with greasy soapy feelings. No one, including great kings, leaders, statesmen, warriors, gurus, scientists, administrators, business leaders and politicians have shadowed away from it. In fact, their failures became an aurora of power and a resolution to succeed.

The might of failure is like a night shelter en route to your destination. It is an opportunity to realise a lost dream and to revamp and renovate before you find yourselves at the commencement of a new, dense and robust journey. A failure indeed is a moment of renewal that dispenses you with challenges that may seem futile, but it definitely gives you the fathom to a failing life. Failure doesn't kill you, but makes you mentally stronger to grow a little longer in life. It is a legacy of your past that took place yesterday. So, why sit worrying and moaning? Today is a new dawn and sunrise that has enshrined you with new hope and vigour.

“The Success of Failure” was born out of my experiences gained while undergoing many personal failures and how I was able to convert most of these to success. It was also born out of witnessing confusion, distrust, fear, apathy and droopiness among most people who were not able to accomplish their goals and had met repeated failures in converting their pursuits. Yet, in the midst of all the chaos, failures depicted, there were some who by their power of resilience, perseverance and great determination were able to tame success and bring it home. I also met several individuals and had long conversations to feel their pulse on their failure. Most seemed determined to fight it out, while some lacked motivation and will to stand up and march on their success crusade. They were perhaps lacking in direction as also in guidance and seemed mentally and physically tired. Some were found risk hesitant and did not want to venture out of their comfort zone. I sincerely felt that they needed a push, counselling or coaching.

This book will provide you with a comprehensive insight into a failure's mind-psyche, important guidelines in self-improvement and the ways of combating unconstructive self-beliefs to mitigate the hunger for success. By mastering the simple techniques outlined in the book, you shall not only gain a complete control of your circumstances, but will learn to improve the quality of life. The book contains psychological interventions, practical examples, detailed steps and techniques. It provides author's personal experiences and scores of his success/failure stories to arouse passion and drive within to perform. What is needed though is changing and supplementing the internal mind processes with a new air of thoughts in order to improve your personality, character and attitude through your own efforts and positive mind programming.

“The Success of Failure” attempts to answer most of the doubts, fears and questions you may be confronted with and feel helpless when searching for answers. To incite your interest, numerous illustrations/pictures, quotations and sayings have been included.

The book is based on my more than four decades of practical hands on valuable experience of managing human resources and imparting learning in skill development in some large corporate houses in India. During my professional career, I have interacted, observed and motivated thousands of young minds, including executives, managers, engineers and other professionals from varied backgrounds in their pursuit for success.

Every now and then, one finds several books on how to be successful. The irony however, is that rarely motivational experts have ventured into writing books on how to convert failures to success. This book is therefore my bold attempt and written for those who believe in the beauty of their dreams and want to fulfil the real meaning of life. Wherever ‘He’ is written, it is applicable to ‘She’ as well and done for brevity. Behavioural subjects are like a chain, each connected with the other. Some psychological interventions may appear repetitive in the book. This has been done purposely to bring home the point recurringly for its importance and a reminder.

Let each one of you take a pledge of allegiance to self that come what may, you will not give up on your dreams in spite of all obstacles in the past! Rise, shine, and reinvent enthusiasm to get started now.

Let you stand up, dust your mind, rinse and repeat until you succeed! If thousands have been able to accomplish their success campaign after a failure – why not you? The book comprises of

Part One: –    Significance of Failure

Part Two: –    Managing Failure

Part Three: –    Towards Stitching Success

You are welcome to interact with me through my blog given in my website www.humandynamicsindia.com or interact with me on my mail id: [email protected] should you require clarifications or further insights.

– Prof. Bhushan Kachru

Part-1

Significance of Failure

Don on your Back,Look up, Get up andMarch Ahead

For most people who haven't experienced any failure, my brief story shall seem a novel ordeal. As a marked event of my life, the memoirs of my failures seem like a face-off with time and an opportunity to move beyond a defeat. With each failure, I have internalised new perspectives on life and have been beneficent of perseverance and the powers of resilience in calibrating the victory of looking beyond sadness and downbeat.

My narrative begins with a reminiscence of my childhood which in many ways was also a phase of my evolvement. I had a humble beginning. I still remember hot summer vacations in 60's in Delhi when me and my siblings would wet it out without having a fan (fan those days was a luxury in middle-class families). I guess I was in 3rd/4th standard. One day, my late father surprised us by bringing a brand new Kassels table fan home on his bicycle. O boy! What a big relief it was as if we had fallen on a treasure hunt. I guess we will not be as happy in buying a new car today as we were on possessing the fan. As I grew up, I turned into a vibrant and extrovert young man. I learnt being resilient and strong when I was young while watching my late father struggle with life in raising the family and yet keeping us happy and contended. I loved and admired my father very much and vowed that I would avoid suffering the kinds of failures that plagued his path. I was incredibly fortunate in my life to have experiences and mentors that showed me how to stand tall and fight it out. For the past several years, I have devoted most part of my life to finding the most effective and practical ways to help young people to rebuild their self-motivation and make over their lives by learning how to live with personal failures and fight it out to get on top of success. However, as time changed, I had many achievements up my sleeves. I was first in many aspects of life in my extended family/ friends/colleagues, etc. Being blessed with the ‘gift of gab,’ I saw my life sparking. At the young age of 31, I was selected out of several thousand professionals to visit USA on an international fellowship program through a real tough competition in North India.

Surprisingly, life has its own roller coaster. Looking back, I realise that from a timid little boy who listened and observed more and loved to shadow his father, I had turned into a chatterbox with little room for variations of fortune. I remember drawing public attention with my extrovert personality and demeanour, though sometimes my meaningful conversations appeared humorous and amusing, while at other times, these seemed pushy and loud. With a forthright persona, a go-getter attitude, and spunk to achieve, success slowly aggregated in leaps and bounds and I held a senior management position in a large reputed Indian corporate at a young age. In my professional career, I remember being one of the highest paid executives and a notable figure who competed with brilliant minds from the IIT's and the IIM's. I nurtured and trained many amateurs and refined them into adept professionals. I was also blessed with a beautiful family and a caring wife who still holds the anchor of my life. Back then, I seemed to have it all that one desires in the exposition of success. The only thing that I did not have though was the ability to count on hidden failures in my escalation and acceleration to success. Today, however, my fair share of success and failures has revitalised and inspired me to embrace any opportunity or exigency in life.

Reflecting back, my past seems like an era entrapped in the exotic woods with a life that was indeed alluring, yet unsatisfying and sometimes alienating. The many unpredictable events in my life have motivated me to touch the base with who I am, who I became and who I am yet to become. With lessons learnt over time, while some incredible and few others improbable, I have learnt to soak in the lessons of my failures, especially since my life has had a fresh meaning and a new direction. I believe that ‘Nature’ has been kind to me. It has endowed me with the strength to realise and appreciate the beauty in going downhill and then trying hard to rise towards the summit. In this journey, my conscience and inner spirit to redefine myself has been my eternal companion. In the absence of which, I would have still stuck to my past.

In today's commercially driven society, people measure one's worth on the basis of economic prosperity and material wisdom. However, I have understood the demarcation between making it and losing it and maintaining a calm and balance in between the contrasting strides. I have learnt the lessons of life a hard way, that rich or poor, success or failure, affluence or destitution and sickness or healthy are different phases of life and keep changing. Neither success is permanent nor is failure forever. I have realised that when a person fails, he or she fails the least in public eye, but utmost in one's sentiments and emotions that nurture his/her dreams and desires for a fulfilling and meaningful life.

For most people, who haven't experienced a failure yet, my story shall seem unenthusiastic, gloomy or may even be unexciting. But the truth is that a failure not only teaches a greater lesson than success could ever, but it also makes one patient, improves on staying power, behaviour and above all, a windfall of life experience. One should always remember that sometimes it is the failure that becomes the navigator of a life that we are yet to see. A life lived without a failure is boring and uninteresting. Imagine the kick one gets when failure becomes a pedestal for success. This is in fact the theme of great success stories around the world. Remember, if a tree forgets its root, it will ultimately fall, even though it may appear greener to us on the face of it.

I often imagine had I not faced enduring and difficult times in my life, I would have never imagined of writing this book with a mission to motivate all those whose lives today seem bungled with misadventures. I would once again reiterate that some of my life's greatest lessons are an offshoot of my failures. With my past in the lap of failures, I hear a beckon of a time yet to come, some milestones yet to achieve, and memories of a life coach (my failures) that made me way taller and stronger than I actually was. I learnt my lesson that true vigour does not always lie in standing on the top of a tree, but it actually lies in passionately climbing up the tree. Today when I look back, failure has evolved me and given new and happy directions to my being.

I believe that every fighter has one great last fight left in him. I am waiting for that one fight.

(Author's true story)

Don't Rock Your Boaton a Failure

There's Life in Failure

“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted.”

– David Bly

Historically brand success has been the most impressive, astounding and dazzling buzz word around and adored like a shining glass decoration swinging in front of people all the time right from school days. Be it motivational literature, sports and athletics, media, boardroom discussions, etc., every one is reflecting and admiring success stories. Yet surprisingly, I find most people overwhelmingly unhappy, distressed and unable to stand up and stand out in their battle for success. They carry tales of personal failed endeavours and events in their lives. Stressed out and hassled, they are usually chided and mocked because of their perceived sloppiness and slushy performance in accomplishing their success goals. It is said that, for every success, there are dozens of losers?

Often in pursuit of accomplishing success goals, you are bound to face repeated failures, stumbling blocks, disappointments and letdowns which are a normal part of your evolving life. These do appear mountainous, encircle you and soon you feel like throwing the towel and the infatuation of blaze within cools off slowly. On one hand you are surrounded by fear and on the other hand, you start searching for reasoning and over and over again your jaded mind says, “O! Gosh what should I do? Why did this happen to me?” Why are you so much annoyed and fearful of failure? Why can't you try and change your mind-set and accept failure gracefully and stop humming and whispering, “Why me?” Isn't failure a normal stopover on your destination to refurbish and repair yourself? Failure is neither a dead end nor a dark night; it is the beginning of a new dawn and a first light in your renewed dynamism. Instead of saying, “I have failed!” Say, “I have yet to succeed” or “I am going to succeed.” Having taken up a challenge in life why fear failure, why not embrace and learn from it.

On a hindsight, why don't you accept that failure and hardships are actually good in a way? With each failure, you internalise new perspectives, become more compassionate, start touching base with your inner spirit, have the joy of finding a ‘new you’ and build a resilient but humble mind. Moreover, it brings out your inner strengths, weaknesses and makes you realise that the odds will always be there; irrespective of how successful you are. It is rightly said that with every setback, there is a hidden opportunity, so why not try and figure out that opportunity. Sometimes, failure makes you realise your own value and teaches the application of good judgement. Staying with failure is also bravado to be “The Man out of Men” and you need to dig out your guts to say goodbye to the public perception and getting influenced from the external events and past remembrances. Get out of the usual failure casing as perceived by the common man.

Take cues from the following story of Thomas Edison.

“In 1914 Thomas Edison's factory in West Orange, New Jersey, was destroyed by fire and much of Edison's life work went up in smoke and flames. At the height of the fire, Edison's son, Charles, searched frantically for his father and found him, calmly watching the fire, his face glowing in the reflection, his white hair blowing in the wind. “My heart ached for him,” said Charles. “He was 67 — no longer a young man — and everything was going up in flames.”The next morning, Edison looked at the ruins and said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up.” Three weeks later, Edison managed to deliver the first phonograph.”

Failure is being tenacious, thirsty for success, desire to survive and be in reckoning no matter what happens. Since there is a mission to accomplish, your mind and body do not get tired out but provide that extra momentum and zeal. I am reminded of Imran Khan, the great cricket legendary from Pakistan who once said that “I have no fears. Fear of losing my wealth, fear of failure, fear of dying, and that makes me very dangerous for my opponents.” Geet Sethi, the seven times World Billiards Champion once said, “I am at my best when times are tough, in adversity, not when everything seems fine.” Speaking at the Harvard commencement in 2008, J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series said that “Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learnt no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected.” Disney, Gandhi, Martin Luther and many others were great failures and they held failures by its horn. They were real dare devils and fear was not in their dictionary, yet every time they failed, they became more resolute and rest is history.

Most people don't like the occasional tasteless existence they live; they simply think there is no choice. Most people don't like the occasional tasteless existence they live; they simply think there is no choice. For example, the recent death of former Bollywood legendary and yesteryear superstar Rajesh Khanna, heart-throb of millions across the country. It is reported that he could not accept his failure from stardom when the blockbuster status changed to poor box office showing of many films he starred during mid seventies and onwards. This is what happens when our mind becomes so obsessed with fantasies and success goes to head. One needs to accept life as a bouquet of happy moments, sad moments and changing moments and each one of us is programmed to pass through these moments. Some one has beautifully put it, “Life is a one way journey to waste your time mourning on things you can't change. Instead of searching for meanings of why, indulge your time on what and how you'll do next.”

British author Oliver Burkeman, a journalist with The Guardian supports my argument in his latest book, ‘The Antidote: Happiness for People who can't stand Positive Thinking’. He says that, “Embracing the darker realities of life is as important as imagining a shiny, bright one. Failure is everywhere. It's just that most of the time we would rather avoid confronting that fact.” He seems right when he advocates giving a close squeeze and hugging to failure, fear, doubt, glumness and negativity. I feel we need to create a space for failure in our mind. This surely helps to manage failures and makes one prepared in advance to avoid depressions, frustrations and unhappiness at a later date. As is said, “Fore warned are four armed.” Some people may feel that failure is far easier to explain compared to success. Possibly yes, if we take the route of destiny. But this need not dither you from working to come back with flying colours. Therefore, understand the meaning of failure and value it. If you make your existence just limited to success-failure, then your goals will always remain confined to your immediate surroundings. Try to unlock your mind, control your emotions and renew faith in yourself. It is then only that you can generate peace within and fight with your disappointments. Admit that you are not the only failure; there are millions like you who fail every day and ultimately succeed. Losing is also winning in that you gave your best, learnt new things, gained useful experience and became chiselled. Appreciate that pain and joy are two cavities of your nose (life) for taking breath. Remember, achievements or failures are only of numerical importance. What matters in the final analysis which should be a stable and happy mind-set that anchors your efforts to accomplish your success campaign.

I know for many it may sound naive to live with the failure. But realise by accepting failure and living with it, you are not only making your mind space rugged to fight ensuing battles, but also giving man's biggest and strongest enemy ‘fear’ a permanent go by. The day you conquer fear, the battle for success is half won and the challenges will become a cake walk. This is how great athletes turned to historical winners. As motivational coach, Zig Ziglar says, “Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night.”

What is a Failure?

From times immemorial, there probably have been as many failures as the number of attempts made by people towards achieving their short and long-term goals. A series of wrong decisions, choices, lack of hard work, persistency and poor judgements made difficult for many to spring back from. This brings us to the origin of success and the role of failure in achieving success. It certainly is an unimaginable journey wherein scientific developments have been conceived through ordinary ideas like the rubbing of stones to produce fire after a number of failures. Today this incident may be an important part of primary school syllabus, but actually it was the very first attempt of mankind to learn to be successful to save life on the earth. In my view, failure is like adding water to cement in order to strengthen the foundation of success. It is not the end, but the end of being disgusted, fearful and demoralised. Failure is also like the sludge on which the queen of flowers, ‘lotus’ (success) grows.

Historically, failure has remained an imaginary ghost, an unfounded fear that haunts every one, unless it is caught by the horns through dedication, purposeful aspiration and above all, the inner drive and consciousness. Failure is work in progress towards the ultimate goal of accomplishing success. It is an awakening of your intellect to search alternatives to get over tribulations so that the overflowing sufferings recede and the positive starts taking over the negatives. On a hindsight, wouldn't it be grossly injudicious if you hide yourself from the actual truth that failure bewilders your lives and how much you panic even though you have been programmed for it right from your toddler days. Recall while learning to stand, walk or ride a bicycle how you fell and got up many times on your own because unknowingly you were resilient and persistent and didn't know what quitting was. You innocently hugged failure and adapted till you did what you wanted to. Your mother may have often played the role of a teacher cum motivator, clapped and carried a ray of hope and happiness seeing you pull through the initial and significant stages of life. While on one hand, she kept on saying, “Come on baby, you can walk ok….good. Try again…well.” On the other hand, she got lost in her dreams about your future successes and prosperity. While growing up, your granny may have recited stories of legends that experienced success through hard work, honesty and integrity. She, however, may not have introduced you to the tales of failure or legends that could teach you the ‘bare and bold’ jerks in life. May be like others, she thought failure was a bad omen, a nightmare and wanted to keep your childhood safe. She didn't realise that by allowing experiencing failure, you would build a tough pedestal to deal with disappointments and letdowns as you move forward in life. Perhaps, she didn't want to disturb your sprouting by making you aware that life's hard blows are as common as life's achievements.

There are also times in your lives when you are all geared up and motivated to follow a goal but after working for a brief period, you lose interest to pursue it any further. This is because of ‘Amygdala,’ a small almond shaped set of nuclei that is part of our mind. It is a limbic system structure that is involved in forming most of our emotions and motivations (panic, rage, happiness, hormonal secretions, arousal, memory, etc.) that are primarily related to our survival. The function of Amygdala is to transmit certain chemicals to the body when needed that generate emotions, such as fear, anxiety, doubt and depression, etc. Amygdala gets sort of signals when we are not comfortable in any characteristic of our life and it acts accordingly. Whenever out of our comfort periphery, we don't like the feelings we experience, we tend to make excuses and hold ourselves back from achieving success.

Failure is not entirely due to the external events affecting your life. On a deeper study of some famous success stories, you would be aghast to know that some of them had to undergo unbearable and horrendous difficulties, yet they made sure that they meet the date with accomplishing their goal. I often feel success and failure in a way are linked to our thoughts, choices and action. Similarly, most people continue being servants of their beliefs and habits which slowly get engrained in their mind-set and consequently become difficult to live without these. Lack of consistency is yet another reason of holding success back. No doubt most perform action in quest for their goals, but actually most of the time they lack well-defined objective, goal specifics and focus. They never apply their minds to know why they are on a particular path and where it will lead them to. This is the reason for a large disparity between winners and failures.

Success is neither common nor is it available off the shelf. I have always believed that, Success is a hard nut to crack and more like searching nirvana and trekking a stony mountain. No matter whatever obstacles, setbacks and rejections you face, remember you have a date with your destiny to continue walking and who knows, you may be at a handshake distance to meet your endeavours and fulfil your cherished dream. But how many on a failure are unrelenting, fanatical and frantic to succeed? There are many who daydream success but lack the earnest urge to prove their mettle and courage. Few continue being in the past and are afraid of the unknown, while some feel that a middle of the road approach is a safe bet. Often they don't make it and get wiped out, yet they wag their tails before success. For instance, a pressure cooker generates steam which is confined and that helps cook food. How many generate enough steam within to move ahead? Most wait endlessly for things to happen and don't wake up and make things happen. How many possess the killer instincts and hunger for achievement? Stop tolerating whatever holds you back.

Most people become risk-hesitant by doing all sorts of jugglery to escape failure and thus, become detached to experience failure, a necessary part of their development. They don't realise that the gains in life become strong and undithered once they pass through the failure milestone. The early you learn to be risk-prone, the better times lie ahead for you. It is only through risks that you look at new avenues of growing. This is a signpost and indeed imminent and natural teacher that sometimes silently whispers great lessons to help you in your journey. Isn't it absolutely true that, true dynamism doesn't always lie in standing at the top of a mountain, but actually in climbing to make it to the top? Your pursuit for accomplishing success is a chain of memorable experiences and events comprising both of success and moments of joy, failure and dejected moments. Failure is simply an action and disappointment, an emotional reaction that happens every now and then and doesn't necessarily define your capability and competence. Failure strikes when you are no more in reckoning and quit. Failure is just a temporary staying down when you trip or stumble on your campaign and you stand defeated should you start believing you can't perform and naturally you start losing on your confidence, motivation and will to achieve. Failure doesn't mean that you're not first-rate; but it does mean that you can improve and become better day by day. Roger von Oech beautifully puts it, “Remember the two benefits of failure. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach.” For example, a thirsty crow keeps flying from one place to the other in search of water on a hot summer day, but repeatedly fails to fetch water. Does the crow fly back thirsty in the evening and suffer? No, he simply keeps trying by flying in every nook and corner until he succeeds to mitigate his thirst. Every failure in your life is a step towards mitigating your thirst for success.

On a flip side, failure appears to me a miscarriage, a bad dream, a long dark night, running out of luck and an inevitable circumstance. It is as if one has been rapped across the knuckles. Sometimes, I wonder aren't failure like a babe in the woods, surrounded by fear, uncertainties, and desolation? The mind is worn-out and sentiments frozen like ice crystals and you get woven in negative and discouraging thoughts. That's the time when failure takes over you. As some one said that, “Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You have to set yourself on fire.”

Over the years, I presume you would have learnt not to expect clear skies all the time and that failure is an important tool of change. Like thousands, you too would have shared mistakes and failures and were able to convert some to success, while a few turned great opportunities of self-learning and development. In the midst of your path to successes, perhaps you did not comprehend the magnitude of your risks and challenges. Had you not failed, perhaps you would have never realised that life is not only a pillar of success, but a pedestal for failure as well and to acknowledge the soul of your last fight-'Perform or Perish’. When you look back at your career or otherwise, you may have a feeling of immense satisfaction at what you have managed to achieve. However, over the years, the experiences of failure and success has helped you to reshape your beliefs and actions in ways that seem to have toughened you and brought humility. “I for one have realised that the belief in self and will to perform enabled me to take the risks that led to some of my proudest accomplishments. I have known that the challenge to accomplish dreams lie in approaching each new day with a transformed thought activated with determination, patience, persistence and self-motivation. I have learnt more from failures than success. Many times, what appeared awful in the beginning actually turned out to be a blessing later? I always keep reminding myself that a ‘Derby race horse doesn't get entangled in bushes but keeps galloping ahead no matter what happens?’. Remember, yesteryear blockbuster ‘Rocky’ and how Sylvester Stallone working as a small time boxer is ridiculed, mocked, and called a bum in the film. Losing few games, Rocky fights his way to heavyweight champion of the ‘World Apollo Creed’. This was a moment of his reckoning to fight for success.

Let us look at failure from a slightly different perspective. The law of attraction states that whatever you hold your attention on, you will attract. But ask a failure, he feels that this is all humbug, a philosophy and a theory. It is unbelievable for him to realise that the failure may be a blessing in disguise and who knows it may turn upheaval into triumph, a perspective difficult to predict when in commotion. But that was yesterday! As soon as a new crack of dawn sets in, it usually comes up with a new hope and vigour to start a new chapter. It is as if ‘April showers brought forth May flowers’. A new Avatar is born that glues the hurdles. With fire in the belly and strength in the nerves, you are here to fight it out with life and snatch success. It's like being with a changed mind-set and not putting the ‘cart before the horse’. A new passion infuses and signals you to ‘Get, Set, and Go’ to fight it out. It's time to ‘Waka Waka’ (Cameroonian dialect, meaning Do it!). You eagerly wait for action to ignite with some extremely hard punches to push. Few years back, I was interviewing an export professional for a senior opening for an auto-component manufacturing company. While interviewing, I was stunned to hear him out:-