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- Herausgeber: novum publishing
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
In a deeply passionate and insightful autobiographical account, Peter Skippen describes his thoughts and experiences of the years 2018 to 2023. Following the death of his wife and now living on his own, Peter struggles through a range of emotions, demonstrating the depths of his grief and what it is to lose a lifelong partner. He expresses his views about a range of modern-day events and topics such as COVID-19, the political scene, the insurance of religion, happiness, education, and gender differences. Peter touches on some brief sentimental moments from his past and how modern life is so different to the way people lived when he was young.
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Seitenzahl: 78
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
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Imprint
All rights of distribution, also through movies, radio and television, photomechanical reproduction, sound carrier, electronic medium and reprinting in excerpts are reserved.
© 2024 novum publishing
ISBN print edition:978-3-99146-715-1
ISBN e-book: 978-3-99146-716-8
Editor:Vaughn Chambers
Cover photo: Peter Skippen
Cover design, layout & typesetting: novum publishing
Internal illustration: Peter Skippen
www.novum-publishing.co.uk
2017
July 2017
The greatest sin of all
You need to remember but you have to forget. The greatest sin of all diverts the mind and creates a vision that will never stay true. To live without desire, ambition, or hope in a vacuum of mind where tomorrow is today. Eternity is the memory you will never forget, and death is the sleep that tears the mind. So is love the greatest dream of all, or the greatest sin? To cause such misery, sadness, and pain for the rest of one’s life. To take love away is the greatest sin of all.
August 2017
Memory
The past is gone, never to return; so you have to move on, put it all behind you. A fresh start, a new beginning—all this can be done, so people say. But I know what I need, what I want, what must be, and it is not of this simple, empty, alien world. It is of another place deep in the mind, where nothing can detract or escape from the memory of the past. Or the hope for the ultimate future beyond our understanding of reason or reality, where memory is the only life and to forget is to destroy, to remember is to live.
September 2017
The fight
Battling with my mind, sometimes I win, sometimes l lose. The past and future in conflict, each trying to oust the other. I have little control over the past, edging it out by concentrating on other pursuits. A moment’s lapse and I am back in the past, flipping from one image to the other. Indecision can be bad; what to do, what would she do? A decision has to be made; that’s when it gets difficult. It doesn’t matter if I am right or wrong, vulnerability has set in and I am crushed.
September 2017
Haunted (a bad day)
If only I could close down the past, close the door, look forward not back, think straight ahead, concentrate on the future.This is all in vain; how can I empty my brain, delete the past? I would not know who I am or where I am going. Haunted by one’s own memories that will never depart. To die is to live, to live is to suffer quietly in no obvious pain. When you are walking towards the edge of the cliff, the sooner it comes the better. Death is the only answer but that would crush the mind of those so close.
October 2017
Today tomorrow (another bad day)
Wake up, get up, dress, make the bed, tea, wash, breakfast, tidy up, paperwork, gardening. Visit the lad, chat chat chat, home, dinner. What to do? TV. Radio. Fall asleep, wake up, go to bed, up twice in the night; finally, get off to sleep. An empty day, an empty life; hard now, but I am dreading the winter. At least death is an end to it all.
2018
January 2018
Daydreams
She exists in my mind, in my thoughts all the time; never a moment when she is not there. From the morning to the night, she is always around; it is a comfort to know that I amnot alone. I can’t see her, I can’t hear her, but I know she is there. One little sign. That is all it would take for the goodness of life to explode, but it never comes. Life is a prison, my home is a cell, tomorrow may change but today is the same. There is only one possible cure.
Mar 2018
Never, never, never
Why are politicians so stupid? To know you are rightwhen everyone else is wrong is a very rare thing, but it never deters our betters. Their way is the right way, never mind the cost, never mind the misery, never mind this, that, and the other; it could go on forever. If only we could reshuffle the political cards and come up with a Trump—perhaps not. How about a president? No, not with Blair still breathing. No, we are stuck with never, never, never. Perhaps the devil you know is best, even in a dress.
June 2018
The greatest con of all
Insurance is important; it gives people peace of mind. You pay the company money, then claim, and they pay you money. Religion is different; you pay by doing as you are told. They pay by providing after death a heaven. There is no contradiction; that is the beauty of religion. The problem with this is, be there a God? No one knows until it is too late; everyone hopes for, but who knows. So is religion the greatest con of all, or the greatest insurance ever? Only time will tell for all of us.
June 2018
The greatest lie of all Lies
Everyone tells them; mostly politicians, counsellors, builders, estate agents, clergy. It’s a very long list. Lies are almost expected. However, to imply (which of course is not a lie) seems a minor misdemeanour, but can have unsettling consequences. I never said that is the usual response. To imply virtue and decency above everything, it would never happen to me attitude can be very overbearing. So the greatest lie of all is what Mother said. Or was it just implied?
July 2018
The great heatwave
The sun is up, warm is now hot, soon to be blistering, grass is straw, plants are dying, trees are wilting. Fish slowly splash in the pond, foxes sleep away the day, the doves are in the tree, the rat is in his hole, even the cat is in the shade. Rain is the only cure, but will it come in time to quench the summer drought? The sun has set. A heavy blanket of heat prevails; another difficult night to sleep. A thunderstorm would be a welcome treat: the sooner the better, the wetter the better.
July 2018
The end of reason
There has to be a reason in life, goals to achieve. Work provides food to eat, a shelter to be in, but when that is secured, it is not enough. With a partner or marriage, advancing together, a bigger abode is taken. Then children come along. Self-employment brings holidays, a car, expensive this and that. The children leave home, a pension brings retirement, but the partner dies. Now life is just about getting through the day; those early goals have disappeared. There is no more reason in life.
July 2018
The healer (a very bad day)
To live in memory is a curse hard to control. There is no way to avoid a flashback in time, a slide show with no exit. Photographs are a menace to be avoided, happy memories are no longer happy, sad songs are now cruel songs. Time is not a great healer, time makes life longer, time makes life harder, death is the only healer, death to life death to memories.
July 2018
Lost spirit
Why is it that the lady in the wheelchair is so cheerful and I am so miserable? Life must be very difficult for her. Is this because aperson’s spirit decides if they are to be happy and full of life or unhappy, making life a struggle? It does not matter how the rest of the world suffers; your own problems, however insignificant, override every other problem the world has to offer. It seems what happens in the mind is more destructive than what can happen to the body.
July 2018
The biggest Pests
Pests abound, life is about avoiding them, they seem to queue up to irritate us.The fleas and flies sting and bite, snails and slugs devour our flowers, weeds overrun the garden, animals call and bark, children scream and shout, computers play up, noisy neighbours, cold callers, teenagers. Pests aplenty. But what can sting the most is that prickly little thing called a conscience. Especially when it is too late to address.
August 2018
Acceptance
After years of marriage, living on your own brings a realization of who you are and what you are. Some widowed people need to get out, mix, be in a crowd, have lots of friends.Others find this difficult, near impossible. Like an army in full retreat, I need to keep running or I am lost. Alone in a crowd around relatives is to be avoided. Fortunately, meeting strangers is easier, especially for a common cause. Is this all down to a lack of confidence or because the demise of my partner leaves a hole so deep I will never be able to crawl out?
August 2018
From the ashes (Radio 3 competition)
The huge mistakes that eventually erupted into the great war caused so many lives to be lost so many lives ruined. How couldanything good, let alone great, rise from the ashes of such a terrible conflict? Yet the humble French ambulance driver Maurice Ravel, and the son of a wealthy Austrian industrialist Paul Wittgenstein, both scarred by the war, Ravel emotionally, Wittgenstein by the loss of his right arm, combined when Wittgenstein commissioned Ravel to write a piano concerto for the left hand. The result? A gem of musical adventure, some twenty minutes of mystery, enchantment, and sheer magic. The piano and orchestra together in a masterpiece of sound that will last
