Too Tempting: The Lewis Cousins, Book 1 - Bethany Lopez - E-Book

Too Tempting: The Lewis Cousins, Book 1 E-Book

Bethany Lopez

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Beschreibung

Gabriel "Gabe" Lewis retired from the NFL and returned home to Cherry Springs. He combined his passion for football with camping and is now the owner of a football camp for teens. His summers are dedicated to spending time with family and teaching his campers about the sport he loves.

Zoey Zahn is a quirky, introverted writer and self-proclaimed geek. When she's asked if she’ll accompany her nephew, Christopher, to camp, Zoey agrees, envisioning quiet evenings of writing in the great outdoors. After she stumbles upon Gabe, however, quiet evenings alone are the last thing on her mind.

The chemistry between Gabe and Zoey is undeniable, but as camp ends, a brewing storm causes their blooming relationship to fumble. All Gabe knows is that Zoey is Too Tempting to deny, and he's determined to overcome the obstacles between them to be the man she deserves.

Too Tempting is the first in an all-new small town romance series by Bethany Lopez. Follow the Lewis cousins of Cherry Springs, the kind of place where there are festivals for every occasion and everyone knows your business, as they learn about love and loss.

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Too Tempting

The Lewis Cousins, Book 1

Bethany Lopez

Too Tempting

Copyright 2017 Bethany Lopez

Published January 2017

ISBN - 978-1540493200

Cover Design by Makeready Designs

Cover Photo by Wander Aguiar Photography

Cover Model: David Wills

Editing by Red Road Editing / Kristina Circelli

Proofreading by KMS Freelance Editing

ebook Formatting by Bethany Lopez

Paperback Formatting by Type A Formatting

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite book retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please don’t participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This ebook is also available in print at most online retailers.

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Created with Vellum

To the Writing Community,

Thanks for the guidance and support over the last five years.

I couldn’t have persevered without you all!

Contents

Chapter One ~ Gabe

Chapter Two ~ Zoey

Chapter Three ~ Gabe

Chapter Four ~ Zoey

Chapter Five ~ Gabe

Chapter Six ~ Zoey

Chapter Seven ~ Gabe

Chapter Eight ~ Zoey

Chapter Nine ~ Gabe

Chapter Ten ~ Zoey

Chapter Eleven ~ Gabe

Chapter Twelve ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirteen ~ Gabe

Chapter Fourteen ~ Zoey

Chapter Fifteen ~ Gabe

Chapter Sixteen ~ Zoey

Chapter Seventeen ~ Gabe

Chapter Eighteen ~ Zoey

Chapter Nineteen ~ Gabe

Chapter Twenty ~ Zoey

Chapter Twenty-One ~ Gabe

Chapter Twenty-Two ~ Zoey

Chapter Twenty-Three ~ Gabe

Chapter Twenty-Four ~ Zoey

Chapter Twenty-Five ~ Gabe

Chapter Twenty-Six ~ Zoey

Chapter Twenty-Seven ~ Gabe

Chapter Twenty-Eight ~ Zoey

Chapter Twenty-Nine ~ Gabe

Chapter Thirty ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirty-One ~ Gabe

Seven Weeks Later

Chapter Thirty-Two ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirty-Three ~ Gabe

Chapter Thirty-Four ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirty-Five ~ Gabe

Chapter Thirty-Six ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirty-Seven ~ Gabe

Chapter Thirty-Eight ~ Zoey

Chapter Thirty-Nine ~ Gabe

Chapter Forty ~ Zoey

Chapter Forty-One ~ Gabe

Epilogue

Sneak Peek of Too Complicated, book 2 in The Lewis Cousins Series

Chapter One of Imperfect Harmony (House of Archer, #1) by Raine Thomas

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Also by Bethany Lopez

Chapter One ~ Gabe

I took a deep breath as I walked out of my cabin and onto the wooden deck overlooking the lake and forty wooded acres of my camp.

I’d built Camp Gabriel Lewis over three years ago, after I’d retired from the NFL and decided to make my dream of working with teens a reality. My camp was not just a football camp, and not just your traditional sleepaway camp; it was a combination of both. It was the culmination of a vision I had when I was a young kid, and the only things I gave a damn about in life were football and my annual camping trip with my cousins.

“Son of a bitch, it’s good to be back here!” I grinned over my ceramic coffee mug at my cousin, Reardon, who’d just pulled in.

Crazy tall, blond, and charismatic, he was the person I’d been closest to growing up. My best friend. Now he was a lawyer in the small town he grew up in.

“Happy to get away from the hustle and bustle of Cherry Springs?” I asked with a chuckle.

“No, man, things there are quiet as usual,” Reardon responded as he pulled his duffle bag from the trunk of his Mercedes. “I’m just looking forward to kicking your ass at family sports day this year.”

“You wish, cupcake,” I responded wryly, feeling ridiculously happy to see him again.

“Hey, I’ve been working out,” he countered with a grin.

When he reached the top we came together in a quick hug, each giving the other a sharp clap on the back before pulling apart.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you down to your cabin so you can get settled in. Jasmine and Dillon are en route. They’ll probably get in tonight. Serena had to work today, but said she should be in first thing in the morning.”

“Sounds good.”

I followed him back down the steps and onto the trail, which led to the row of cabins. The counselors stay in the cabins when camp is in session, but my family always lived in them when we came down for our annual trip the week before opening.

“This is you, as usual,” I said, jogging up the steps to open the door, since his hands were full. “So, what have you been doing since Easter?” I asked as he tossed the bag effortlessly onto the bed.

“Had a couple cases, nothing really exciting,” he replied, opening the drawers to the dresser so he could unpack.

“Things still good with Brenda … or was it Bonnie?” I asked, honestly unable to remember the name of the girl he’d brought for Easter dinner.

“It’s Becca, and no, we broke up.”

When I looked at him pointedly, asking him what happened without saying the words, he shrugged.

“She liked the idea of being with a lawyer, but not living in a small town. She kept trying to convince me to move to the city … kept leaving brochures around and shit. I finally told her that leaving was not an option for me, and she bailed.”

“That sucks, Rear, I’m sorry things didn’t work out,” I said sincerely. Neither of us had ever been married. In our twenties, we’d enjoyed playing the field, but we’d recently agreed that we were ready to stop all the bullshit and settle down.

Unfortunately, the kind of women we seemed to attract weren’t the kind that we wanted to marry. Now we were older, and set in our ways, we were finding that women our age were set in theirs too, so it was difficult to find someone who wanted the same things we did.

“It’s for the best,” he replied, rolling his bag up and shoving it in the closet. “It’s better to find out now, than when I proposed, right?”

“Was it that serious?”

“I don’t know … It could have been.”

I looked my cousin over, determined he didn’t look heartbroken or anything, and figured he was better off. He’d find the right woman soon enough, but for now, it was time to enjoy a week with our favorite people.

“I was just about to take a look around, see if anything needs to be fixed,” I said, tilting my head toward the door. “You wanna head out?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Let me just hit the head real quick and we can take off on foot.”

I went back out onto the porch to let him take a piss in peace. These cabins had their own bathrooms, and were usually shared by two counselors of the same sex. Once you got to the part of camp where the campers stayed, there were communal bathrooms and showers. Each of those cabins had five bunk beds, and a twin bed for the junior counselors.

“All right, let’s do this,” Reardon said as he rushed outside, the screen door slapping as it closed.

We took off at a brisk pace as we walked. I was probably three inches shorter than Reardon, but even though I was retired, I still kept myself in pretty good shape. My cousin was no slouch by any means, but he did spend a lot of time behind a desk. Even though he knew I was faster than him, and almost always came out on top in any competition, Reardon was still the most competitive person I knew. That was why, after less than a half mile of him trying to walk faster than me, he took off at a sprint, his laughter floating behind him.

“Really?” I shouted. “You’re starting this shit already?”

Then I was off, running at full speed and gaining on him within moments. Right before we reached the break in the trees to the center of main camp, I gave it an extra push and passed him with a whoop.

I stopped at the flagpole, hands on my knees as I looked up at him, laughing at his red-faced scowl.

“When you gonna give it up?” I asked good-naturedly. A big part of our relationship included giving each other a hard time.

“Never,” he vowed, like he always did, then held his side. “I think I caught a cramp.”

“Serves you right, cupcake.”

Reardon shook his head as he looked around.

“The place looks great.”

“I had a team come in about a month ago. Did general landscaping and maintenance. Made sure everything was on point for opening day. I’ve used them before, so I knew they’d do the job I hired ‘em to do, but a lot can go wrong in a month. I want to make sure that at some point this week we put eyes on every facility. Make sure nothing broke, fell, or got eaten by a wild animal since they left.”

“Sounds easy enough,” he replied, then asked, “I know it’s kind of early, but I’m starving. What are your plans for dinner tonight?”

“I was thinking we could either do brats or steaks. I picked up a tri tip too, but figured we could save that for the last night.”

“That sounds good, and for tonight, steaks sound perfect.”

“We can head back and get the grill fired up. I can always hop on the four wheeler and take a quick turn around the camp before dinner.”

“Perfect.”

We were headed back toward our cabins when the sound of leaves crunching had me bracing and looking to my left.

The last thing I expected to see was a leggy brunette in cut-offs and a tank top come walking out of the woods. Being an hour away from the closest town meant we didn’t often get unexpected visitors, but I was more curious than worried when she spotted us and relief flooded her face.

“Hey,” she said, her low, throaty voice open and friendly. “I’m so happy to see you guys. I parked back in the welcome lot, which is empty by the way, and have been growing more and more worried. This is Camp Gabriel Lewis, right? I’m supposed to be filling in for my sister as chaperone for the week while my nephew’s here at camp.”

I took in her big brown eyes and long dark hair, which was currently going wild and trying to escape its ponytail, then shot Reardon a look before turning back to her and replying, “I hate to say it, darlin’, but camp doesn’t start until next week.”

Chapter Two ~ Zoey

“Shit, shit, shitty, shit!” I didn’t realize I’d chanted that out loud until I heard the two gorgeous male specimens in front of me start chuckling.

I mean seriously, what outer dimension did I just walk into? Were these guys genetically modified or something? One was tall, dark, and looked deliciously like Superman, and the other was an insanely tall Viking with blond hair and ice-blue eyes.

Maybe this was a male Stepford camp or something.

“Excuse my language,” I muttered, because my mother would be horrified to know I’d sworn in “public.” I guess that’s what I get for hibernating in my cave and not double checking the details with Chloe before I left. I paced back and forth as I rambled on, “I’m just usually so great at annotating my calendar correctly.”

One of them cleared their throat, causing me to stop pacing and extract the thumb I’d been chewing on as I tried to figure out how to resolve my current predicament.

“I’m sorry you came all this way, but like I said, camp doesn’t start until next week…”

“Do you guys work here or something?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

“Yeah,” the blond one answered. “There’s a group of us here making sure the camp is ready for opening and hanging out for the week. If you’d like, you’re welcome to join us.”

Superman turned to his buddy, a look of surprise showing on his face before he masked it and turned back to me.

“Um, of course, you probably have to clear things with your job, since you got the weeks mixed up,” he said, not quite offering to let me stay like his friend had.

“Oh, I’m a writer and editor, so I make my own schedule. I was planning to write at night, after the kids went to bed … I guess I can go to the nearest town and rent a room for the week.”

I started pacing again as I thought of all the work I could get done in a week away. I might even get the first draft done….

A throat cleared again, putting a halt to my musings.

“The nearest town’s an hour away, and the only nice place they have would cost a mint. Reardon’s right,” Superman said, and I assumed he was referring to the Viking. “Since you’re already here, there’s no reason you can’t stay on. That’ll save you some money, and you can still get some work done.”

“That’s very generous, but…” I tried to think of a good reason why I couldn’t stay here with two random dudes that wouldn’t sound rude.

I don’t want to be a burden…

What would we eat?

Are you the only two here, or are there more Adonises wandering around?

Is ravaging a possibility…

“Don’t worry,” Superman said, reading the questions on my face. “Two of our cousins are women, so you wouldn’t be alone with us. It’s just the five of us, and we have plenty of food. One more mouth won’t hurt. Although, we don’t have Wifi, so if you need it for your work, that may cause a problem.”

“A week of writing with no internet to distract me?” I was talking to myself again, and began to worry that they’d think I was mental and take back their offer. I couldn’t let that happen; I needed to lock this down right now. “Thank you so much, that would be great. I can help out however you need … with cooking, or getting the camp ready. I don’t want to take advantage, but a week away with no internet would actually help me out a tremendous amount.”

Reardon grinned, stepped forward, and held out his hand.

“Glad to help. Now, can we know the name of the beauty who’ll be joining us for the next week?”

“Oh, sorry,” I said with a frown as I shook his massive hand. “I can’t believe I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Zoey.”

If they realized I left off my last name, they were too gentlemanly to pry. It was a last-minute decision that would help give me the break from reality that I needed.

“Nice to meet you Zoey,” Superman said, stepping forward when Reardon stepped back, and offering me his hand. I looked up, and noticed for the first time how deep brown his eyes were. Like melted chocolate. Suddenly hungry, I reached out and took his hand, then gasped when a white-hot flash ran through me on contact. “Like I said, this is Reardon, my cousin, and I’m Gabe. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” I replied, my voice whisper soft. I’d obviously been in the cave too long if one touch from Superman’s … er, I mean, Gabe’s … hand left me feeling like the Kraken was about to be released after being dormant for too long.

“If you’ll take us back to your car, we can take you around to staff parking and get you set up in a cabin.”

At Gabe’s words, I was suddenly struck with a terrifying thought. What if they weren’t actually associated with the camp? What if they were going to lure me away and chop me to bits, or worse? Make me watch The Matrix movies. Don’t get me wrong, I love Keanu Reeves, but The Matrix just didn’t do it for me…

My writer’s brain was at work, thinking up a million different reasons why I was crazy to even be considering getting into a car with these two, when we all turned at the sound of running feet and saw a gorgeous redhead rush down the path and launch herself in Reardon’s arms.

“What’s up, Ass?” she squealed, giving him a bear hug, then pulling back to slap him playfully on the cheek. “I’ve missed your ugly mug.”

“Do you know what it’s like driving eight hours with that much exuberance in the car? God, I thought we’d never get here.”

I turned to see a handsome man, who looked a whole lot like the woman, except his hair was more of a deep auburn, whereas hers was fire-red, walking casually down the same path she’d just burst through.

“You should’ve known better than to try to contain Jazzy for that long,” Reardon said as she jumped from his arms to crash into Gabe’s.

The new arrival noticed me standing off to the side and walked over quietly.

“And who do we have here?” he asked with a kind smile. “I’m Dillon, cousin to those two and twin to the girl with the disposition of a Jack Russell Terrier.”

I laughed at his wit and shook his offered hand.

“Zoey, vagabond and interloper.”

Dillon had a deep laugh that made me smile, and when I turned my head, I was surprised to see Gabe watching us with a frown.

“Hi, Zoey, I’m Jasmine,” the perky redhead said, bouncing over and shocking me when, rather than shaking my hand, she threw her arms around me and gave me a quick, but firm, hug. “Are you staying with us?”

I looked around at the group of freakishly gorgeous, but really nice people, and decided that my earlier worries were due to my wild imagination. I decided to trust that these people were who they said they were, and stay the week to get some work done … but just in case, I’d text my sister to let her know where I was and that if I didn’t check in every night at nine, to send the police.

“Yup, I’m staying.”

Chapter Three ~ Gabe

I fell behind the group as we made our way back to the cabins. Jasmine was talking Zoey’s ear off as they trailed after Reardon and Dillon, who were chatting and laughing as they led the pack.

I’d been surprised when Reardon invited Zoey to stay the week with us, rather than allowing her to head into town. We’d always had a strict policy about bringing dates with us to camp – we didn’t do it. This was the only time we got to be away from our hectic lives and enjoy catching up, and we’d all agreed that until we met the people we wanted to marry, we’d enjoy our time together solo.

Not that having Zoey around would be a hardship. She wasn’t classically beautiful, her face was a little too long, her mouth a little too wide, and the way she kept muttering under her breath and talking to herself made her come off a little zany, but somehow, it all worked for her. And when we’d touched … Bam, I’d felt the sizzle of chemistry run through me.

I usually had a hands-off rule about anyone involved with the camp. Being an ex-pro ballplayer, and the owner of the camp, I’d had plenty of counselors, and mothers, make a play over the years. I wasn’t naïve enough to think their advances had anything to do with me, or the man that I was; all they were worried about was status and dollar signs.

In the past, I’d had no problem taking women up on their offers and showing them a good time, but I didn’t want anything like that touching my camp. This place meant a great deal to me, and I wasn’t going to do anything that would take away from what I was trying to do with the kids.

Technically, however, camp wasn’t in session until next week. And Zoey didn’t seem to have any idea who I was, which was a nice bonus for someone who lived the bulk of their adult life in the spotlight.

I wasn’t sure if anything would happen between us or not, but I needed to have a talk with my cousins and let them know that she was off-limits. We had that spark, and I’d felt a flash of jealousy when I’d seen her laughing with Dillon, so I needed to lay it out in a way that they’d understand.

Besides … I saw her first.

“Do you want to put Zoey in with Serena and I?” Jasmine asked when we got to the cabin she and our cousin always shared, preferring to be together.

I noticed a flash of concern pass over Zoey’s face, and figured she’d been hoping to have a spot to herself, so that she could get her work done. Assuming she wouldn’t want to chance hurting Jasmine’s feelings, I decided to save her by answering, “No, she can have number five. She mentioned needing to get some stuff done, and would probably have a better chance of that without dealing with yours and Serena’s all-night gossip sessions.” I turned to her and felt my chest tighten at her answering smile. “If that’s all right with you…”

“That would be perfect, thanks,” she responded in that sexy, throaty voice, then turned to Jasmine and added, “But I’d love to hang out when I’m not working.”

“Sounds good,” Jasmine responded, not offended in the least. “I can drive you back to your car so that you can bring it over here and get yourself unpacked.”

“Perfect.”

I watched the women walk off toward Dillon’s SUV, then drive away.

“How does it feel, living a charmed life?”

I turned my head toward Dillon and cocked an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Only you, Mr. NFL, MVP, Super Bowl Champion, turned upstanding citizen with a camp for teens, would have a woman like that stumble across your path.”

I felt the grin take over my face.

“Just lucky I guess…”

“My ass,” Dillon grumbled good-naturedly. “I’m going to spend the rest of the week scanning the woods, hoping for a buxom blonde to come trampling out.”

“She’s here for her nephew,” I explained. “Got her weeks mixed up.”

“That’s what Rear said,” he replied, following me around back to the grill. “You gonna make a play, or what?”

I pulled the cover off and crouched down to turn the gas on, then straightened and looked into his green eyes.

“I’m taking it into consideration, and I’d appreciate if both you and Reardon kept things on a strictly friendly level.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that when you nearly shot daggers out of your eyes when I did nothing more than introduce myself to the woman,” he said with a chuckle.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I replied, although I was pretty sure he was accurate on that account. “You want to start on the potatoes while I season the meat?”

“I can do that.”

“I was also hoping I could talk you into making your beans. I think I remembered everything for them.”

“Anything else? An amuse bouche perhaps?” Dillon asked sarcastically.

“Nah, I think we’ll go a little more rustic tonight, but thanks,” I replied with a chuckle, then asked. “Where’d Reardon disappear to?”

“He said he had to check in with the office real quick.”

“Well tell him work is off-limits, and to get his ass out here and help if he wants to eat.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

Chapter Four ~ Zoey

“So, you guys are all cousins, huh?” I asked Jasmine when we were alone in the car. Being naturally curious, I wasn’t shy about asking questions or getting to know people. It helped me a lot in my work.

“Yup,” she answered with a smile. “Our fathers are brothers. We were all born in a small town called Cherry Springs, and for the most part, grew up together.”

“That must have been nice,” I replied, thinking that it really did. I had my sister, Chloe, but we hadn’t really gotten along much as kids. She’d been a girly girl, loving to dress up and be social, whereas I tended to keep my head in a book and stay more to myself. We hadn’t had any family nearby, so the idea of being close to my cousins was a foreign one.

“It was. Serena moved away when she was in middle school, but every summer we all went camping together.”

“And you still do,” I muttered, thinking it more to myself than meaning to say it out loud. “That’s really wonderful.”

“Yeah, it is. There were many years where we were all so caught up in our own lives that we were lucky to see each other every year at Christmas, but a few years ago, Gabe had the idea for us to meet here every summer, to reconnect, and we’ve been making it a priority ever since.”

“Wow, that’s really cool. I envy you that closeness with your family,” I admitted, without really meaning too. Jasmine was just such an open and receptive person, that it was almost impossible not to share with her.

“Aren’t you close with your family?” she asked, swerving to miss a fallen branch.

“I’m pretty close with my sister now, but we weren’t growing up, and I love my nephew to pieces. Other than that, I don’t really have anyone.” My lips turned down at the realization. Had I gotten so used to being alone with my words that I’d lost the friendships I’d formed over the years?

Jasmine didn’t say anything, but I could feel her pity. Okay, maybe pity was a strong word, but I could definitely feel her sadness at the thought of not having a tight-knit family. I’m sure it was hard for her to comprehend, what with her being part of the Swiss Family Robinson and all, but I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me.

I had a great life.

“As a writer, I guess I tend to keep to myself,” I explained, for some reason needing her to understand. “Not that I’m a hermit or anything … I love people. Watching them, talking to them, studying their characteristics … but I spend most of my time alone, writing, so I guess I haven’t made the effort to be close to anyone other than my sister and her son.”

“That makes sense,” Jasmine replied, her tone gentle. “Dillon and I work in the family business, retail, so I’m surrounded by people constantly. I feel like I’m always on display, and have to present a positive and enthusiastic image at all times. It can get exhausting. Working in solitude sounds nice.”

I smiled at her attempt to make me feel better. She was obviously a very sweet person, and I was beginning to feel happy about getting the dates of camp wrong. Maybe I’d have the opportunity to have meaningful conversations and make friends with these people. Maybe it would be good for me to get out of my cave and interact with real live people…

“Well, working in a family business sounds nice too. Do all of you work there?”

Jasmine shook her head as she pulled up next to my car and parked, then turned to me.

“No, just Dillon and I. Gabe was always more interested in sports, and Serena was more creative. She’s an artist and creates the most beautiful pieces … Ass followed his father’s footsteps and studied law. He’s the only one, along with Dillon and I, who are still in Cherry Springs full time.”

Curious, I asked her the question that had been on my mind since she first burst onto the scene, “Why do you call Reardon, ass? Is he a real jerk or something?”

Jasmine’s laugh was soft and sweet.

“No, Reardon’s the nicest guy I know, certainly more so than Gabe, or even Dillon. It started when we were kids … We gave him the nickname, Rear. Once we got a little older, it morphed into Ass. I’m sure one of the guys started it, but it caught on, and we’ve been teasing him with it ever since.”

I laughed as she told the story, picturing them all as kids, running around and teasing each other affectionately. It made a nice picture.

“Well,” I said hesitantly, for some reason not wanting to get into the solitude of my own car. “I guess I’ll follow you back.”

As I did just that, I thought about the dynamic of the group I was about to be a part of for the next few days. They would be interesting to be around, to study, as they’d all probably make fascinating characters. Not that I’d be so bold as to model one of my characters out of the people who were so kind as to let me stay, but I was sure to find some unique characteristics to explore.

There was also that flash of sexual awareness that I felt around Gabe. It would be interesting to see if it was still there throughout the week, or if it was just a flash in the pan, so to speak.

He had no idea who I was, none of them did, which was a nice change. Not that as an author I was usually recognized on site, but I’d be surprised if they hadn’t at least heard my name before. It would be nice to have a little anonymity.

Being famous made it hard to judge whether people were interested in me for me, or if they were more interested in my name and paycheck.

I liked the thought of just being a woman for a little while … seeing where things could go naturally.