Welcome to the Bells - Kit Dando - E-Book

Welcome to the Bells E-Book

Kit Dando

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Beschreibung

Welcome to the Bells is a heartfelt comedy set over six short stories, following the front of house team throughout a busy summer at a bistro pub, called The Bells. 
Despite it almost being too fancy to hold the title of pub, it pulls in young Josh as he decides his first job should be a venue he cannot pronounce the dishes at. Josh faces many challenges at The Bells including but not exclusively understanding the dress code, as he tries to find his feet and his place in the tight knit team. Josh shuffles himself into the ranks between Ali, the exhausted university student and Abbie a veteran behind the note pad and her partner in crime, also assistant manager Danny. Josh pushes himself through, thinking of his empty CV and the money to save before going to university himself. 
And that’s just Volume one!

Kit Dando writes Welcome to the Bells from just under a decade worth of experience in hospitality. Growing up in the Essex countryside, navigating university education in Surrey and moving to London, a hospitality career from mid-teens to early twenties spans across pubs, bars and clubs, encountering every type of difficult customer possible!
Alongside writing, Kit works in lighting theatre productions day to day, but that doesn’t stop her passion for portrait photography and computer programming on the side.

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Kit Dando

 

 

 

Welcome to the Bells

 

 

 

 

 

© 2023Europe Books| London

www.europebooks.co.uk | [email protected]

 

ISBN 9791220144490

First edition: November 2023

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the Bells

 

 

 

“To everyone I met along the way. Who shared the trauma and inspired these stories.”

 

Welcome to the Bells

Volume 1

 

 

“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.”

 

 

“How can I help you?” an unnaturally happy woman with an iPad in hand, approached Josh as he stood uncomfortably at the pub door. He wiped his clammy hand on the trousers his mum had ironed ready for a handshake.

“I’m Josh. I spoke to Josie about a trial shift.” He stuttered whilst clearing his throat and holding his hand out a little too eagerly.

“Josh!” her smile grew even larger and took his hand firmly. As soon as her palm was in his, his own wrist went limp. Pulling it away quickly he smiled nervously.

Fucked the handshake, even after all the practice.

He thought to himself, but the woman didn’t seem to notice or if she did, she didn’t seem to care. “I’m Josie, the general manager. Follow me, we will get you settled.” She turned and started to walk away. Josie was a colourful woman, long ginger hair even in a ponytail it fell past her hips. The pastel blue floral almost floor length skirt seemed to distract entirely from the fact her dull white shirt had seen happier days. 

Josh followed her out of the doorway and into the pub. It was a cosy pub, even though it was mid-summer and had no business being cosy. A long bar took up the majority of the left wall, and bar tables of varying sizes were scattered around the front, each with mismatched chairs, complete with cushions of every pattern imaginable. There was a comfortable buzz of drinkers. Office workers with no blazers and loose ties, enjoying a quick pint before heading home. Middle aged women progressing through bottles of pale rosé. A couple in the corner looking to be in mid-argument whilst their child played on an iPad, a bottle of coke and packet of crisps next to him, the true taste of neglect.

 

Halfway across the room it was like stepping through some sort of portal entering a different dimension. It was an empty restaurant. Laid perfectly with so much glass and silverware there was no space for food. Josh looked behind him. Just to make sure he was definitely in the same place and hadn’t glitched into a parallel universe. If he were in a parallel universe, he hoped he would have been doing something more interesting than a trial shift for a position as a waiter.

 

“This is your first job, yes?” Josie asked over her shoulder as they approached the top end of the bar. “Yes, first job.” “You are 18?” “Yes, 18.” 

The end of the bar curved round, right behind it was a large dull stainless-steel lift where food was sent up, above that two rails with one ticket attached at the end that read rosemary fries. To the right of the dispense section Josh could see a waiters station with a till, some cupboards and a coffee machine which was obscured from the view of the restaurant with a small wooden wall and odd bubbly glass paneling.

“Abbie?” Josie called.

“What?” A girl called from the coffee machine as it loudly spat out hot black espresso.

“This is Josh. He’s come for a trial shift. I need you to show him around.” Josie didn’t wait for a response and sauntered back off to the door already scrolling through a long list on her iPad.

 

Josh waited uncomfortably as the machine continued slowly to cough out coffee into a tall mug. Josh blew out his breath and glanced around. The girl still hadn’t bothered to say a word to him but stayed invested in her caffeine. He could see she was a curvy girl wearing a checked flannel shirt and loose jeans. He suddenly felt very overdressed in his black trousers, white shirt and dad’s belt. He swiftly undid a button to appear more casual just in time for her to finally turn around. Now she faced him he could see her shirt almost covered up a ketchup stain that had been poorly wiped off. Her hair looked intentionally unbrushed as it sat on her head in a brown bird’s nest of a bun, but despite the almost pitiful appearance she held herself with a swagger that was intimidating even in silence. 

 

“You worked in hospitality before?” She asked and he shook his head quickly. She took a quick gulp of her coffee before sucking in her breath. “Well, I'm Abigail, Abbie, Abs, Gail, Big G, Oi. Call me whatever you like really. I'm the head waitress. That’s Eddie behind the bar.” She nodded in the direction of a well-dressed man in a shirt and waistcoat, straightening his tie in the mirrored wall behind the spirit bottles. Josh suddenly felt very confused about the dress code, wondering which one of them hadn't got the memo. He didn't have long to ponder as Abbie suddenly downed her coffee, slamming the cup on the end of the bar like a shot glass, and started walking away. Josh waited a beat before understanding he needed to follow.

 

They walked to the back of the restaurant, passed a row of deep brown wooden tables, all looking immaculate, silver wear sparkling, glasses waiting to be filled and orbs of oil lamps waiting to be lit. Josh trotted behind Abbie who walked fast and with purpose as they made their way down a spiral staircase which was ever so slightly uneven on the last step which felt like a recipe for disaster for anyone over two pints in. They started down a corridor, toilets on the left and wooden door with STAFF ONLY at the end. 

 

There was a fast-thumping overhead and Abbie turned fast using her forearm to push the both of them against the wall just in time for a girl to sprint past them screaming sorry like a siren as she went. 

 

“That’s Ali.” Abbie introduced the blur of a human he had just seen.

They pushed through the unnaturally heavy staff door into a shorter corridor with dirty white walls and spare chairs cluttering the space. The girl tumbled out of a door on their left. Shouting fuck as she fell, running back passed them without even a quick glance at Josh.

 

“That’s where the lockers are.” Abbie gestured lazily to the door Ali had fallen out of. “And this is the office.” She pointed at a dirty white door next to it, with a fist sized hole where the handle should be. She knocked but didn’t wait for a response before opening it. The room inside was small, pin boards packed with papers covered every wall, a safe and printer in one corner and a computer on a desk in the other. A lanky man too tall for the chair was slumped napping in an awkward position that made Josh's back hurt just looking at him. 

“That’s Danny. He’s the assistant manager.”

She slammed the door hard behind her which was swiftly followed by a series of curses. They had continued down the corridor as the lanky boy hurried out the office whilst smoothing down his shirt.

 

The end of the corridor separated out in two ways.

“Kitchen.” Abbie said quickly whilst pointing right and opening the door to the left. “And this is the Cellar.”

Josh peered into the dark room. Towers made of crates of tonics and wines lined the room, the floor littered with beer kegs whilst the far wall held a shelf of spirits. A small hum of a fan filled the otherwise peaceful space.

“This is a good place to cry if you need to.” She added helpfully, giving him a sideway glance and cocking one eyebrow. “Oh, that’s Jackson.” she nodded at the hooded figure in the corner Josh hadn’t even noticed by the spirit bottles. Upon hearing their name, they looked over their shoulder at them. Under the black hoodie Jacksons deep Auburn hair spilled almost in front of their face, making their already pale skin look ghostly. A small knife in their hand flipped out from the end of a bottle opener, it was tiny and almost definitely blunt, but Josh took a step back anyway. Jackson raised a pair of thick dark eyebrows before returning to slicing up boxes with worrying efficiency.

 

They left the cellar and decided to briefly poke their heads into the kitchen. The kitchen was quiet, stock pots bubbling, knives pounding on chopping boards and Mariah Carey assuring them miracles can happen from a speaker on the large metal pass just off to the left of the door.

“All the food gets sent up via that lift in the corner so the only time you need to come in here is to get milk from the fridge. But it locks from the outside so be careful.” Abbie carried on talking as they walked away. “Best not to bother the chefs. Stay up on the floor where there are witnesses.” she called over her shoulder to him.“Huh?” Josh asked, scared as he trotted behind her.“Where there are waitresses.” she repeated. “Do you smoke?”“No never.”“You might wanna start. Only way you’ll get a break.” 

Back upstairs, it was slowly filling up. The drinking crowd was getting heavier and younger. Danny was by the door talking to Josie whilst staring intently at the iPad. Ali was all in a fluster wandering round the restaurant looking for purpose, whilst Eddie and Jackson were behind the bar polishing glasses… did Jackson pass us on the way up...?

 

“Remember to ask tables about food allergies, don’t put through stupid orders and any food that’s left by the till near the coffee machine is a free for all if you are hungry. Looks like that’s everything.” Abbie said, looking at him for what felt like the first time. “Welcome to The Bells!”

 

Josh hardly had a moment to take it all in before a large chef pushed past him on a warpath for the end of the bar. Everyone quickly gathered and Josh took it as a cue to do the same. 

 

“OK briefing time.” The chef spoke quickly. He was tall and completely bald; his chin was shadowed by wisps of a beard trying to push through. His eyes were a soft blue, and his lashes were long, which made it hard to guess his age. His chef whites were a little too white but as he handed out the thick card menus still warm from the printer Josh could see his hands littered with healed burns and healing cuts. “Menu hasn’t changed much. Parfit is off because dickweed forgot to make brioche, but we have a tostada I’ve been waiting to throw on instead, so special that at seven pounds. It’s yellow tail tostada - who the fuck are you?” The chef stopped noticing Josh for the first time despite him standing next to him. Josh went to open his mouth whilst beginning to move his hand out for a handshake but was cut off. “Don’t tell me, I’ll learn your name if you last a week.” He shook his head. “Jose what’s the bookings?” he looked over to Josie who stood on the other side of him.

“We are on sixty-five so far.” “Ok not that busy so no excuses for being morons.” He slammed the rest of the thick stack of menus on the end of the bar. “Let’s have a good service. See you on the other side.” He finished disappearing down the stairs before anyone had a chance to speak.

“OK people.” Josie smiled as if it was her job to be the Doctor Jekyll to the head chef Mr. Hyde. “Usual positions. Abbie, I want you on the front with bar tables. Ali, you running the restaurant with Josh. Obviously Jacks and Ed are on bar. Dan you are on food dispense and I will be on the door.” Josie nodded to everyone before strolling back off to more important things. Ali hurried after her.

 

“Didn’t catch a word of that.” Danny shrugged at Abbie. He was very tall, perhaps only an inch taller than the chef, which Josh was sure must have been a frustration for the chef. Danny also seemed to have received a different dress code to the rest of them with grey jeans the ends of which hardly skimmed his ankles, and multi coloured shirt with a geometric pattern Josh couldn't decide if it was jazzy or offensive. 

“60 odd bookings. No parfit.” Abbie yawned whilst scratching her scalp causing a couple more strands of hair to escape her bun.

“I am hanging so far out my arse.” Danny groaned, running his hand through his blond hair, slightly matted with product.“Bloody Baby.”“How are you upright?”“Somewhere between 6-10 shots of espresso… I lost count.” Abbie shrugged casually.“Jesus you are going to die young.” He laughed whilst walking round the other side of the bar to his battle station in front of the lift, in doing so and finally noticing Josh. “Sorry mate.” He suddenly plastered on a grin. “I’m Danny.”“I’m Josh.” He smiled back, a large, forced smile. Stop, you look like a psycho. Then his face fell a little too fast and he panicked trying to find a not creepy middle ground of a smile. “Is there something I can do?” 

“I’d say your best bet is to speak to Ali. You’ll be working with her.” Danny smiled kindly; his light blue eyes were comforting. Josh nodded before scurrying away out of earshot. “I’d give him a week.”

“Generous.” Abbie huffed. “I wouldn’t give him till the end of the night.” “Well as Emily Dickinson said, Hope is a thing with feathers.” Danny recited watching Josh walk into a table.“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Fuck me if I know.”  

Ali was tapping away at the till on the far side of the restaurant when Josh approached. “Hi I’m Josh. I was told to ask you for a job.” Josh spoke whilst approaching. The girl looked as if she glitched. Her head jerked to look at him and then back to the till. Her long dark blond hair was pulled back tightly into a ponytail, a thick fringe skimmed the top of her thick round glasses which were reflecting the long drink order she was tapping away. Ali seemed to be dressed for a heist, opting for an attire of full black. Black tight jeans tucked into black boots and a loose black T-shirt.

“Not much to do until bookings arrive.” She muttered, going back to whispering under her breath as if muttering some sort of incantation. Josh watched her for a moment before speaking again.

“Are you ok?” he asked sincerely, and Ali let out a small laugh as if he had just asked if the Earth were round.“Yes... no... but yes… I have my dissertation due next week and I can’t even… hahaha that’s funny can’t even because it’s on Kant. Love that for me.” She laughed to herself, flicking her hair out her eyes. “And I’m working all weekend which is good but also, I don’t know… but no... I mean yes, I’m fine.” 

She stopped speaking but Josh could tell the conversation had continued in her mind.

“Alex?” he asked, and she snapped back into the present. Her face was confused before easing out into only slightly less confusion sprinkled with exhaustion. “Sorry erm maybe go ask Eddie if he needs anything for the bar before service starts.” She turned away from the till and nodded toward the bar.

“Thank you.” Josh mumbled whilst slowly heading to the bar. He felt like a pin ball being bounced about with no direction, just waiting for the slope he was on to inevitably push him into an abyss.

He approached the bar apprehensively. Jackson’s eyes seemed to follow him as he got closer, but they didn’t make a move past polishing the glasses. The bar was huge, taking up a large portion of the left wall, just before the end of it was a silver door within the wall where Josh could make an educated guess where the food came up, trailing off from that was the waitress station. Just before the food lift was a doorway through which Josh could see a small room with a dishwasher and a collection of different coloured bins. The view in front of him was spectacular, the lower half of the back wall was taken up by a large mirror which reflected the entire restaurant, the top half was filled with shelves at uneven heights. Each shelf promoted a different alcohol, fancy gins, whiskeys and vodkas. The top shelf was stacked with impressive magnums of red wine. Each display was linked with vines and flowers trailing, falling and flowing down just touching the tips of the spirits lined up precisely in front of the mirror. Josh caught his reflection for a moment, his curly brown hair was already flicking down in front of his right eye, his pale complexion already looking clammy with nerves.

The bartender, Eddie, looked as if he had also walked into the wrong building. He wore almost a three-piece suit, crisp white shirt with a burgundy waistcoat and matching tie. His dark black hair was neatly combed to one side.

“Erm, I'm Josh. I’m new and looking for something to help with.” Josh tried to sound confident, but he already hated the sound of his own voice and name.  

Eddie turned around and looked at him with raised eyebrows, then over to Jackson who shrugged before his eyes rested back with Josh. He looked intelligent, in his early thirties and already fed up with the newbie in front of him. “Can I help?” Josh pushed for an answer.“parlo inglese ma non lo farò ma questo è davvero un grande scherzo.” Of course. Josh sighed. “È un'idea di Danny, scusate.” He carried on. Josh picked up the name Danny and nodded quickly before running back to Danny who was still at the end of the bar.

“What can I do?” Josh felt exhausted just at the prospect of finding something to do. “Well, you got a table in your section to maybe start with that.” He nodded at two people sitting at the far end of the restaurant. Josh turned to see two middle aged women, already sipping gin. He turned back to Danny who was holding out a couple of menus with a cheeky grin slapped on his face.

“My section?” he asked, his stomach felt like stone butterflies were causing havoc inside it. “I’m not sure.”“As Salena Godden said, Courage is a muscle.” Danny grinned again. “They won't bite.” He turned away before Josh could gleam any more support from his new colleague.

Josh cautiously approached the table and forced a smile. 

“Hi, I’m Josh and I’ll be your server today.” He started placing menus down. Shouldn’t have given a name. They’ll know exactly who to name in the review when it all goes wrong. “We have run out of parfit but have a tostada on special today.” Well done Josh. You remembered the briefing. You’ll get on the good side of the chefs. Good start. “Can I get you some water?” This is easy. Just smile and wave. Just smile and wave.

The lady smiled and looked up at him. “What is Tostada?” 

He gulped. Bollocks!

 

7:00pm

 

Only an hour into the shift Josh felt like a fish out of water.

“Josh, where are the drinks for table 69?” Abbie asked quickly. Josh spun round looking across the room whilst counting round to find which was 69. The system was ridiculous jumping from 15 to 50 to 107. It was as if a toddler who had just learnt numbers had assigned them all. A toddler may have done a better job. He lost count twice before Abbie rolled her eyes and walked away. He ran to the bar and waved to Eddie who was elegantly pouring tonics into tall glasses with one hand and shaking a cocktail with the other.“Are those for table 69?” he asked desperately. “Non c'è un tavolo sessantanove.” Eddie raised his shoulders in surrender. Josh took a deep breath wishing he had taken Italian over French for his GCSE’s.

 

7:37pm

 

“Excuse me Sir. Can I get you another drink?” Josh smiled gesturing to the empty glass in front of the lone man. Josh was determined to leave the shift where no one could say he didn’t try. The man had been sat in the bar area on a small table for two tucked away in the corner. He was holding a newspaper but was evidently not reading it since it was upside down. Originally Josh had assumed he was waiting for someone but as the hours passed it became evident that the man was alone. He looked as if he hadn’t washed for a while and his thinning hair was strategically combed most likely to cover a bald spot.

“Hmm.” The man mulled it over. “Nooopee. You can’tt but the one with theee nice arsee can.” He chuckled to himself over his slurred words and Josh bit his tongue. Josh suddenly felt a bit sick and not just because the overpowering smell of tobacco and beer from the man’s breath was turning his stomach. Josh backed away slowly. Not sure how to handle the situation he turned around weighing up in his mind who to go to for help. Taking a step back into the direction of the main dining area he bumped immediately into Abbie.“What’s up?” Abbie asked as she saw his expression. 

“That guy over there wants to order a drink.” He nodded in the direction. “I think he’s already had enough.” “Oh, did he harass you?” she tutted casually. “That’s just Clive. Friendly neighbourhood alcoholic." Abbie smirked. "Although he's not really friendly and He doesn't live around here. He is a misogynistic prick but spends lots of money so the owner doesn't want us to ban him. What can ya do, eh?” She shrugged it off with a laugh.“Well he asked for the one with the nice arse.” Josh’s face flushed red, feeling uncomfortable even repeating it, not able to look Abbie in the eye as he spoke.“Just send him Danny, his arse is good enough.”