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An empowering journey that keeps great teachers in the classroom The Onward Workbook is a collection of tools and strategies that help teachers banish the burnout and cultivate true resilience. Keyed to the framework presented in Onward, this companion piece augments the text with practical exercises, coaching, and step-by-step walkthroughs of beneficial practices. Deep introspection allows you to verbalize your feelings, name your challenges, and identify the tools you have and the tools you need--from there, you'll explore each of the 12 Key Habits and learn how to put them into practice every day. In cultivating resilience within yourself and your teaching practice, you improve your health, your outlook, and your relationships while building an environment in which every child succeeds. This workbook takes you on a journey of specific self-discovery that changes your perspective, renews your confidence, and empowers you to make the much-needed changes that allow you to continue inspiring young minds. * Dig deeper within to discover what you're truly made of * Decode complex emotions, body language, and nonverbal communications * Challenge your beliefs, build community, and navigate difficult interactions * Learn more, feel more, play more, and practice effective self-care Resiliency is an underrated skill--one that can make all the difference in our schools. Challenges will always arise, but it is your response that dictates the outcome. Can you think of a more important lesson for your students? When some 70 percent of teachers quit within their first five years, it is clear that changes must be made. The Onward Workbook equips you to make the changes that you can, and flourish into the future. While this book can be used by individuals, it is also designed so that groups, teams, departments, or an entire staff can take up the learning together. There are specific suggestions in the workbook for using this with a group, and educators will reap even more reward from discussing the practices and experiences with colleagues.
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Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Preface
How This Workbook Is Organized
How to Make the Most of This Book
Find a Friend
Introduction
Put On Your Hiking Boots
Hopes and Goals
Current Challenges
What's in Your Toolbox?
Create a Treasure Chest, or Just a Pocket
Chapter 1: Know Yourself
Know Yourself: Resilience Self-Assessment
How Well Do I Know Myself?
The Wise Words of Martha Graham
Whom Do You Know Who Knows Who They Are?
I Am
Purpose: Why I'm Doing This
Myers-Briggs Personality Types: Part 1
Myers-Briggs Personality Types: Part 2
Pablo Neruda and Purpose
What Motivates Me When I Speak?
Core Values
Purpose: My Legacy
Crafting a Mission Statement
I Am a Leopard, or a . . .
Aptitudes and Interests
Aptitudes: An Inquiry Experience
Spiritual and Mental Ancestors
The Paths We've Taken
Values: At School
Sociopolitical Identities
Signature Strengths
Make a Values Jar
Astrology, Enneagrams, and More!
Behavioral Change: In the Past
Who Am I? Who Do I Want to Be?
Behavioral Change: Reflections on Past Experiences
Behavioral Change: Identifying Grain Size
Making Plans for Behavioral Change
Aligning Values to Actions
A Letter to Vulnerability
Artistic Depictions of Vulnerability
Destination Postcard: Self-Knowledge
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 2: Understand Emotions
Understand Emotions: Resilience Self-Assessment
KWL: Emotions
Beliefs About Feelings
Examining Coping Mechanisms
Movie Time!
The Cultural Construction of Emotions
The Core Emotions
Naming Emotions
Exploring the Intensity of Emotions
Anger: Meditations and Reflections
Get to Know an Emotion Cycle
A Day of Observing Your Emotions
Relaxing Your Body: The Body Scan
Where Emotions Live in Your Body
Muscle Relaxation
Nonverbal Communication: The Interviews
The Biography of My Emotions
Reflecting on Regrets
Invite Your Emotions to Tea
Lessons About Strong Emotions
Thanking Your Emotions
Thanks, but No Thanks
Exploring Moments of Emotional Intensity
How to Breathe
RAIN: Dealing with Uncomfortable Emotions
Noticing Physical Cues
Assessing Your Stress
Quick Calm: Grounding
Recognizing Cognitive Distortions
A Letter to Anger
Artistic Depictions of Anger
Destination Postcard: Understand Emotions
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 3: Tell Empowering Stories
Tell Empowering Stories: Resilience Self-Assessment
Three Good Things
Intention Setting
Start a New Habit
Reflect on Thoughts
What Einstein Says About Stories
Exploring the Impact of Cognitive Distortions
Catch That Distorted Thought
Visually Depicting a Life Story
Affirmations
Authoring Your Life
Take Apart That Thought
Try This Thought
Optimism: Choices
Challenge That Thought
Interrupting Distorted Thoughts
Problematic Core Beliefs
Rilke on Love
Challenge That Core Belief
“The Optimism of Uncertainty”
River and Rut Stories
The Life-Defining Moments
“Want To” and “Get To”
The Untold Story
Memory, Mood, and Story-Crafting
“The Danger of a Single Story”
Using Empathy to Expand Stories
Examining Organizational Stories
Love
The Pessimism-Optimism Scale
Think Like an Optimist
A Letter to Love
Artistic Depictions of Love
Destination Postcard: Tell Empowering Stories
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 4: Build Community
Build Community: Resilience Self-Assessment
Community Mapping
Planning for Professional Community Building
Develop Cultural Competence: A Plan
Trust: Reflecting on Experience and Assumptions
Relational Trust: Among Staff
How to Build Trust
Body Language: Reflecting on Myself
Body Language: Reflecting on Others
Body Language: Fake It Till You Become It
Body Language: Rewiring Your Brain
What Does Community Mean to You?
Sixty Ways to Build Community at School
How to Address Conflict
Neighborhood Exploration
An Anthropologist in the Lunchroom
Research Community Outside of School
A Corsage of Community
Building Your Social Network
Storytelling
Listening to Your Own Listening
Expansive Listening
Listening: The Interviews
Am I in a Toxic Culture?
What to Say When People Don't Talk Nicely About Kids or Their Families
How to Ask Questions
A Letter to Fear
Artistic Depictions of Fear
Destination Postcard: Community
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 5: Be Here Now
Be Here Now: Resilience Self-Assessment
The Raisin Meditation
The Joy Collage
Right Here, Right Now
Blowing Bubbles
Morning Messages
Mindfulness on Yard Duty
Mindful Eating
The Myth of Multitasking
Mindful Walking
Tagore on Joy
Ice Cube Meditation
A Tree in a Storm
Project Silliness
Identify a Choice Point
Treasure Chest of the Ordinary
Mindful Breathing
The “Not-Right-Now” Shelf
Sixty Seconds
Meet Your Telomeres
The Zen of Coloring
Do Something Already
Walk a Labyrinth
Soaking In the Satisfaction
Project Humor
Drawing Your Breath
Kale Is Not Required
A Letter to Joy
Artistic Depictions of Joy
Destination Postcard: Be Here Now
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 6: Take Care of Yourself
Take Care of Yourself: Resilience Self-Assessment
Listening to Your Body
What's My Gap?
Dream
Self-Care Origin Stories
When You Are in Self-Care Crisis
Tracking Exhaustion
Keep a Food Diary
Reflecting on Martyrdom
If Your Body Could Talk
Inside World and Outside World
Try Something New
Charting Your Self-Care Story
Reduce Your Sugar Intake
Planning for Better Sleep
How to Get More Exercise
Movie Time!
Self-Esteem Reflection
How Do I Perceive Myself?
The Best Homemade Chai
How Do Others Experience Me?
Exploring Self-Confidence
Fake It Until You Make It
Healthy Eating Reminders
Loving Your Adrenals
Who Needs to Yell at You?
Reflecting on Perfectionism
A Week of Self-Care
Sixty-Five Ways to Care for Yourself
A Letter to Perfectionism
Artistic Depictions of Perfectionism
Destination Postcard: Self-Care
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 7: Focus on the Bright Spots
Focus on the Bright Spots: Resilience Self-Assessment
Find the Bright Spots
Savor the Little Moments
Share What You Savor
Feel the Feelings
Energy Check-In
Stop and Smell the Roses
Tuning in to the Positive
Create a Remember-lutions Jar
The Words of Others
Joyful Anticipation
Repurpose Your Pain
Joyful Recollection
THINK Before You Speak
Don't Worry, Be Happy
The Joy of Making Lists
Reflecting on Sadness
Five Years in the Future
Learning to Settle Your Mind
Light a Candle
Gaining Perspective on Difficult Events
Uncovering Silver Linings
Watch Your Thoughts, Again
Photographing What Matters
In Search of Ordinary Good
Reflecting on the Search for Ordinary Good
A Letter to Sadness
Artistic Depictions of Sadness
Destination Postcard: Focusing on Bright Spots
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 8: Cultivate Compassion
Cultivate Compassion: Resilience Self-Assessment
New Year's Activities
Make Those Resolutions Stick
Lovingkindness Meditation
An Intention for Today
Acknowledging Your Teachers
Six Ways to Forgive Someone
Bridging Differences
It's Not Personal
How to Apologize
The Self-Compassion Break
How Would You Treat a Friend?
Self-Compassion Letter
Exploring Cynicism
The Quest for Good
Just Like Me
The Fly on the Wall
Your Future Self Speaks to You
Learning from Envy
Recognizing Bids for Attention
The Self-Compassion Journal
Cultivating Compassion for Difficult People
“The Awesome Anthem”
Nonviolent Communication
Nonverbal Communication of Compassion
The People Who Support Me
Four Minutes of Eye Contact
Thirty-Six Questions to Fall in Love with Someone
Eat Together
A Meditation to Boost Equanimity
Preventing Empathic Fatigue
A Letter to Envy
Artistic Depictions of Envy
Destination Postcard: Compassion
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 9: Be a Learner
Be a Learner: Resilience Self-Assessment
How Writing Helps You Learn
Ask a Question
Super-You
The Million-Dollar Question: What Can I Learn?
Action Research: What and Why
Mini Inquiry Cycle
Lessons on Learning from Merlin
Get Rid of Uncomfortable Clothes
Get Rid of Some More Things
Piggyback Behaviors
Parker Palmer's Words on Learning
Whom Do I Want as a Mentor?
How to Find a Mentor
How to Receive Feedback
How to Give Feedback
The One-Sentence Journal
Indicators of a Learning Organization
The Power of Yet: A Musical Interlude
Expanding Your Learning Community
Cultivating Curiosity: The Art of Noticing
Growing Brains
Cultivating Curiosity . . . by Knowing More
Three Kinds of Curiosity
Cultivating Curiosity: Backwards
Beliefs and Assumptions About Time
Tracking My Time
What Else Could This Mean?
A Letter to Shame
Artistic Depictions of Shame
Destination Postcard: Being a Learner
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 10: Play and Create
Play and Create: Resilience Self-Assessment
Your Play Personality
Six Ways to Water Your Creativity
The Closet in My Classroom
Create a Logo
Thank You, Courage
Sisu, Ikigai, and Gigil
How to Be Courageous
Street Interviews
Create Your Alter Ego
Play Hide-and-Seek
Create a Monster
Nondominant Hand Monsters
The Four-Minute Diary
Making the Familiar Strange
Discovering Creativity in Your Community
A Play List
Elevate the Ordinary
Map Your Day
Create a Community Sketchbook
Ai Weiwei's Shoes
Create Your Cheerleading Squad
Ice Cube Street Art
A Collage of Student Voices
Banksyfy Yourself
Transforming the Ordinary
A Family Tree of Courage
On Creative Resilience and Resistance
A Letter to Courage
Artistic Depictions of Flow
Destination Postcard: Play and Create
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 11: Ride the Waves of Change
Ride the Waves of Change: Resilience Self-Assessment
Make a Vision Board
The Roots of Our Attitude Toward Change
Face Your Fears
Reflecting on Hope and Change
Which Changes Do You Desire?
Reflecting on Perseverance
“Maybe,” Said the Farmer
The Monster in the Closet
Honoring What You've Lost
Keep a Promise to Yourself
Detachment Meditation
Reflecting on Energy
Transformation and Decay
Metaphors for Patience
How the Light Gets In
Silence
Scream and Yell
Patience
Accepting Fragility
It's All Right to Cry
Strengthening Your Intuition
Inspiration to Fight the Good Fight
Tackle Your Complaints
How to Worry Less
Plan for Change: Observe Others
Crisis and Opportunity
Dragonflies
Your Own Change Management Model
A Letter to Patience
Artistic Depictions of Patience
Destination Postcard: Riding the Waves of Change
Chapter Reflection
Chapter 12: Celebrate and Appreciate
Celebrate and Appreciate: Resilience Self-Assessment
Gratitude Journals
A Visual Gratitude Journal
Everyone I'm Grateful For
A Flurry of Appreciations
Honoring the Ancestors
Deep Gratitude
The Power of the Positive Phone Call Home
Exploring Attitudes Around Celebration
Talk About People Behind Their Backs
One Little Thought: My Life Is Very Blessed
The Heartbreak of Teaching
A Gratitude Letter
What Sets Your Soul on Fire?
Enlisting an Accountability Buddy
Time Traveling to Deliver Appreciations
Today, I Am Grateful For . . .
What's at Risk?
Awe Boosts Your Immune System
Strengthen a Friendship
The Awe Narrative
Movie Time!
Live as If You Liked Yourself
Thank You, Elbows
Capture Awe in Nature
My Yearbook Page
I Would Like to Be More Grateful For . . .
An Awe Walk
Look Around You
A Letter to Awe and Wonder
Artistic Depictions of Awe
Destination Postcard: Trust
Chapter Reflection
Conclusion
Reflecting on a Year of Cultivating Resilience
Symbols and Metaphors for Dispositions
Choosing Dispositions
Create a Poster
Now What?
Appendix: Resources for Further Learning
General
Chapter 1: Know Yourself
Chapter 2: Understand Emotions
Chapter 3: Tell Empowering Stories
Chapter 4: Build Community
Chapter 5: Be Here Now
Chapter 6: Take Care of Yourself
Chapter 7: Focus On the Bright Spots
Chapter 8: Cultivate Compassion
Chapter 9: Be a Learner
Chapter 10: Play and Create
Chapter 11: Ride the Waves of Change
Chapter 12: Celebrate and Appreciate
About the Author
End User License Agreement
Exhibit 1.1:
Exhibit 2.1
Figure 5.1:
Figure 10.1
Figure 11.1
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Elena Aguilar
Copyright © 2018 by Elena Aguilar. All rights reserved.
Published by Jossey-Bass
A Wiley Brand
One Montgomery Street, Suite 1000, San Francisco, CA 94104-4594—www.josseybass.com
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Permission is given for individual classroom teachers to reproduce the pages and illustrations for classroom use. Reproduction of these materials for an entire school system is strictly forbidden.
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ISBN 9781119367383 (Paperback)
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Welcome to your workbook.
This is a place for you to explore the ideas I've described in Onward and to engage in practices that might shift your thinking, feeling, and behaviors. Resilience is cultivated with intentional action, and I hope that action might start in the pages of this book. I hope you'll allow me to guide you along some of the paths that can boost your resilience.
This book is me as a coach. It contains the questions I'd ask you if I were coaching you or facilitating your team's weekly meetings; it contains the activities I'd suggest that you try. You always have choice, and you don't have to do any activity that you don't want to do. But if we met in person, you'd hear the encouragement in my tone of voice and the gentle nudge in my words, “Just try it!” I'd encourage you to try every activity in this book, even the ones you'd like to turn away from.
Here are some of the ways I envision you using this workbook: I see you waking early on Monday, having slept a full eight hours, but up in time to crack this book open before heading off to school. I see you drinking a cup of coffee or tea, flipping through the chapter of the month, and spending 15 minutes on an exercise before going to school. In another scene, you're using this book with a group of colleagues, reflecting on one of the activities and talking to each other about your insights and connections. Sometimes I see you in the evening, jotting down a short reflection on one of the activities you'd tried that day. Finally, I envision you on a weekend afternoon, sitting under a tree or somewhere comfortable and digging into one of the activities that'll take a little longer, or going through a series of activities.
I hope you will integrate this workbook and its activities into your daily life. Toss it into your school bag on occasion, even only so that it serves as a reminder of what you're learning and practicing. You will cultivate your resilience if you engage in these activities regularly. You're about to build some mighty resilience muscles'and those need daily strengthening.
Each chapter contains enough activities for you to do one each day for a month'that's how I've envisioned that this workbook (and Onward, the book) will be consumed. However, there are many activities that you'll want to try more than once. You'll need to transform these activities into mental and physical habits in order to truly cultivate your resilience. It's the equivalent of wanting to have big biceps; you know that you'll need to do more than one set of biceps curls on one day if you're going to change your body shape. Of course, I don't assume that you'll be able to do every one of these exercises every day. That's why you need to try them all'so that you can figure out which ones work best for you and which ones most benefit your mind.
The order of activities in each chapter is somewhat random. The first activities introduce the habit, and the final activities guide you to reflect on your learnings from the chapter. I've organized the activities in between to offer variety in the kinds of activities and the topics they explore. You might go through them in order, but you are also welcome to jump around to the ones that most interest you.
Each chapter offers a few recurring exercises in which the structure is the same, but the topic is different. For example, I invite you in every chapter to explore an emotion (such as love, envy, or anger) through visual art. Each month, I also invite you to write a letter to an emotion as a way to understand that emotional experience for yourself. I close each chapter with an activity to help you reflect on the learnings in the chapter and also concretize a vision for yourself of a more resilient you. One of those activities is called “Destination Postcard” (a term adopted from the Heath brothers' brilliant book Switch). That's an activity for which I hope you'll consider sketching, collaging, or doing anything that makes that vision more vivid and meaningful to you.
Some of these activities will be best engaged in before or after school, or when you have more time. The following icons clarify which activities will be best during what time of day.
An activity for morning
An activity for evening
An activity for when you have a little time and perhaps a reflective, relaxing space to sit
This is your workbook, and to make the most of it you'll need to do what feels right for you. You'll also need to stretch yourself.
You might want to go through this book in the order it's written. Or you could engage in the activities according to the month they are aligned to. In Appendix A of Onward, there's a reflective tool to help you identify which habits and dispositions you might want to focus on. Or you might just jump around this book in random order. It's up to you! It's your book.
I'll introduce dozens of resilience-boosting strategies in this book. I encourage you to try them all! Some will resonate more; some you'll want to repeat; others will feel uncomfortable. For example, I'm very visual, and if I draw something (even with my scribbly stick figures), the ideas are more likely to stick in my long-term memory. But this may not work for you. Try everything and be open to what happens, but also know that you don't have to repeat activities that feel too awkward.
That said, do try the drawing prompts. If you suffer from fear of art or believe that you're “bad at art,” the easiest advice I have for you is this: Shove that fear and anxiety into a box and take it out at the end of the year. It's an old fear, it won't help you here, and it's only going to impede your ability to cultivate your resilience. You might also consider a detour adventure into the land of sketching and sketch notes, starting here: rohdesign.com. You'll be amazed at what you can pick up in just a couple of hours and how these sketching strategies can deepen your self-knowledge and understanding'and, ultimately, your resilience. Don't let your insecurities about drawing or art prevent you from messing around with images, crayons, collage, and stick figures. No one will judge your art except you. So just don't.
As you try the activities, it's essential to preserve time for reflection. You will miss important insights if you plow through the exercises without pausing to think, write, and talk about your learning. I hope that by the end of the book and, ideally, after a year exploring these strategies, you'll know which ones work best for you. This is an individual discovery; the things that I do when I'm feeling emotionally depleted may be different from what works best for you or for your colleagues. So try everything!
Your learning and application will be more profound and permanent if you talk about this experience with others'which is why in my wild fantasies, you're going through this learning with friends, colleagues, and teammates. And your conversations with them might lead to closer interpersonal connections, which adds another layer of resilience. The process of putting experience into words also happens when you write, so don't skip the writing prompts.
You don't need much for this workbook, but an excuse for a few extra office and art supplies makes some of us very happy. Find a few pens that you like to write with, ones that run smoothly and fluidly. Maybe get a special pen or two. Keep a pencil nearby, and perhaps a set of thin markers. Find what works for you and what you enjoy using.
There will be sections in this workbook where you may want to add additional pages of writing, images from magazines, and photos. Keep a glue stick and roll of tape handy. I can't read anything without using stacks of sticky notes'that's how I flag pages and ideas to return to'so consider this an invitation to expand your collection of sticky notes. It's also possible that you might want a blank journal. Although I've provided space for you to write in this book, you may need more journal space if you're like me and find writing cathartic.
Although I am confident that you'll get a lot out of these activities if you engage in them alone, I encourage you to find another person or a group with whom you might undertake this learning. Perhaps your department or grade level can incorporate this learning into team meetings during the year; maybe you could start a book study with other teachers in the district. If you're a principal, perhaps you could make a study of this book an option for a strand of professional development. Although being with others in person is ideal, you can also find a community of educators engaging in this learning online through the website, www.onwardthebook.com.
This workbook, as well as Onward, invites vulnerability. If you read this book with colleagues, I encourage you to establish agreements for your conversations. Here are some examples:
Observe deep confidentiality
Listen to understand
Speak your truth, without blame or judgment
If you engage in these practices together, two things could happen: You might experience discomfort, and you might create deeper, more meaningful connections with colleagues. In other words, it will be well worth the discomfort.
Here's my fantasy: In schools across the world, on a Wednesday afternoon'or perhaps a Friday morning (a much better time for educators to engage in serious and focused learning), groups will gather to learn about and cultivate emotional resilience. We'll start with exploring our own resilience, and there'll be time for reading and writing, talking and practicing the strategies in this book. Sometimes there'll be markers and snacks and even musical instruments on the tables.
There'll often be laughter and maybe a hug, and even a tear or two. And then there'll be conversations about how to shed ourselves of biases so that we can see our kids' full humanity and potential and how to cultivate resilience in our students. We'll have conversations about how to build our students' social and academic skills, so that they can do whatever they want to do with their wild and precious lives. We'll listen to each other's heartbreak and hope, and we'll talk about despair and fatigue, and we'll tell stories about our ancestors and stories of survival and resistance. When the meeting ends, we'll practically bounce out of our chairs feeling energized and alive and connected to each other, and we'll leave the room saying, “I can't wait until our next meeting! This is the best PD I've ever had!”
Please visit www.onwardthebook.com for more resources and videos, to download tools, for guided meditations, and to engage in community discussions on these topics.
Consider engaging in the activities in this chapter after reading Onward's introduction. You'll be introduced to some of the key ideas in this book, and you'll also muster your commitment to practicing the habits of a resilient educator.
Onward describes the journey to cultivate resilience. I've offered the metaphor of an internal wellspring of water to represent the resilience that lies within all of us, which we can journey to, tend to, and fill through many actions. Those actions are the 12 habits of a resilient educator, and I think of them as paths we travel down as we make our way to that inner pool. Along the way, we pass through the terrain of the 12 dispositions of a resilient educator, and as we explore those, we cultivate more resilience.
I'm so glad you're taking this journey. It's time to put on your hiking boots and get started. In the space provided at the top of the next page, draw a picture of the boots you'll wear, with your legs sticking out of them. Because this is your journey, your boots can look however you'd like: Worn and broken in or brand new and covered in sequins and glitter. This is your journey and your book, so you don't need to wear hiking boots at all! If you'd be more comfortable traveling in flip-flops, by all means wear those. Or if you're more confident in heels, put them on! Alright, let's get going!
What's brought you to this book? Why are you interested in resilience? Why do you want to develop your own resilience?
What do you want to be true when you've finished reading Onward and engaging in these exercises? How do you want to feel?
What are the challenges you feel you face currently in your work? List as many as you can.
Now go down your list and code them as big (B) challenges, medium (M) challenges, or small (S) challenges. What do you notice about your list?
Which strategies do you currently use to manage the stresses and challenges you face at work? For example, if you have a colleague who drives you crazy, what are your coping mechanisms? Imagine that you have a toolbox for dealing with adversity and stress. What's in it right now? You could list your strategies here, or if you'd like you could also sketch a toolbox and label the implements within.
As you go through this workbook, I'm going to encourage you to collect artifacts of your experience as you build your resilience. These might include photos you take, books or journals, cards you receive from students, sticky notes, or even lesson plans! Yes, these could become artifacts of the resilience you cultivate. You'll need a place to store these artifacts. You might need only a file or a pocket in this workbook or a journal, or you might need a chest.
To create a pocket: You could affix this pocket to the front or back cover of this workbook, so that it will always be accessible, or to a journal you're also using. Find a piece of study paper or a file folder and cut it into the shape you want. Tape or glue it into place, leaving one side of the rectangle open. Duct tape works especially well to keep it secured. Decorate the front if you want. Then, so your pocket isn't lonely, find something to put in it. A leaf. The stub from a movie that inspired you. A copy of your student roster. Your class photo.
If you're excited by the treasure chest idea, go for it. Make it beautiful and inviting.
When you know yourself well—when you understand your emotions, social identities, core values, and personality—you gain clarity on your purpose in life and in work. Being anchored in purpose makes you able to deal with setbacks and challenges.
June: This habit is foundational for all the others. In June you can reflect on last year, transition into summer, and contemplate next year while gaining deeper self-understanding.
The purpose of this self-assessment is to help you gauge the level of your resilience reservoir and to explore what might be draining or what could replenish it. The exercises that follow and the information in the corresponding chapter of Onward can boost your resilience by helping you better understand yourself and by connecting with a deeper sense of purpose.
Imagine each circle here as a little cenote or reservoir within you, and fill it up according to how much each statement reflects a source of resilience. If you need something more concrete, imagine marks at ¼, ½, and ¾ full.
Before you start the exercises in this chapter, take this self-assessment and fill in the date. At the end of the month, take the assessment again. (You might even cover up your original markings with a strip of paper.) Is your resilience reservoir a little more full? If so, which practices do you want to keep up? If not, what else do you want to try?
Statement
Date:
Date:
I am clear on my core values and how they guide my behaviors.
I know how my personality affects me at work.
I know what I'm good at; I'm clear about my strengths.
At least for some part of my day, I do what I'm good at.
I'm aware of the connections between my sociopolitical identity and how I experience my work.
I recognize how messages from dominant culture affect how I think and feel about myself.
I have strategies to mitigate how dominant culture makes me feel about myself.
I know what makes me feel vulnerable, and I'm aware of when I feel vulnerable.
I feel very clear about my purpose in life. I know what I'm here on earth to do.
The knowledge I have of myself helps me manage challenges at work; it serves as a guidepost when I have to make decisions.
Our “self” comprises the five elements here.
You're the judge of how well you know yourself. On a 1–10 scale, how well do you feel you understand these elements of who you are?
Element of Self
Description
Rating (1–10)
Thoughts, Reflections, Evidence
Beliefs
I know my core values and see how they guide my behavior. I am aware of when I'm operating from my values, and I make decisions that align with them.
Personality
I am aware of my personality tendencies and the impact they have on my life and work. I can make decisions about what I do and how I work that play to my personality.
Strengths and Aptitudes
I know what I'm good at and what my strengths and skills are. I make choices that allow me to play to my strengths and to develop areas in which I'm not strong.
Sociopolitical Identity
I understand who I am sociopolitically, and I am aware of how this construction impacts me in a professional context.
Psyche
I am aware of my emotions, and I understand them. I have healthy strategies to respond to and express my emotions that work for me.
In which area do you feel most confident? How do you think you came to know yourself in this area?
In which area do you most want to do further learning? How might you benefit from doing more learning in that area?
There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.
Martha Graham
What do these words mean to you?
How do Martha Graham's words help you think about your purpose in life?
What actions, if any, do these words lead you to consider taking?
Whom do you know who really knows who she is? This person could be real or fictional (for example, Wonder Woman).
What does this person say or do that makes you feel that she knows who she is? How do you see this self-knowledge expressed?
What connection can you make between how you feel about this person (whether you like her or not) and the sense of self she has?
Draw a little picture here (stick figures are great!) of this self-aware person you know. Add details, captions, or thought bubbles.
Set a timer for five minutes and make a list all about you. Let your mind free-associate, and jot down anything and everything. This is just for you. Include things that you identify with, that resonate, that you love or care about; include adjectives and nouns and places and people. Some of the things on my list include cacao and corn and coffee, the East End of London, my mother's daughter, a redwood tree, and a lotus flower. Let your mind go where it takes you. After the timer goes off, read back through your list and star the ones that feel most important.
Why did you get into teaching? Free-write in response to this question. Set a timer and write for three minutes without stopping. Don't edit yourself, and be honest.
A good MBTI assessment shows your results on a continuum. Most people have shades of all of these aspects, but have a dominance in one tendency. Here's a quick overview of the four personality elements according to the MBTI and an opportunity for you to predict what you are before taking the test (which is a part of the following exercise).
1. Energy: Whether you draw energy from the outer or inner world.
Extraversion (E)
Extroverts
Enjoy being in large groups of people and meeting lots of new people; they walk away from a daylong conference feeling energized and ready to socialize in the evening
Have a strong desire to form teams and can work well in teams
Appreciate a lot of time to talk and work through their thoughts using verbal processing
Tend to have many friends and associates
Introversion (I)
Introverts
Are drained by large groups of people and prefer interacting with one other person or a small group; they walk away from a daylong conference feeling exhausted and wanting to be alone or perhaps with one other person in the evening
Need planning time and thrive when they have it
Need quiet processing time before being asked to speak about something
Tend to have a small group of close friends, or a best friend
Enjoy being alone
Place an X where you believe you fall:
Introversion
Extroversion
I think I fall here because . . .
Important to Know
Our tendency toward introversion or extroversion has nothing to do with shyness, social awkwardness, fear of public speaking, or ability to make friends. This is the personality type that is most likely to change as you get older. Most people become more introverted as they age, so if you were an extrovert in high school, it's possible that by your 40s, you might be an introvert. It's also likely, psychologists say, that these results may change as you get older because when you were a young adult, if you took a personality test, you may have answered the questions according to what you
thought
you should say'for example, when asked what you prefer to do on a Saturday night: go to a party or stay at home and watch a movie, you may have felt socially compelled to say party.
2. Perception of Information: Your tendency to focus on factual information or to interpret and add meaning to information
Sensing (S)
Sensors
Rely mainly on concrete, actual information
Value data (and might be driven by data)
Focus on what is realistic in relation to current constraints
Can struggle to step back and determine a path to success, especially when resources are scarce and tasks are overwhelming
Can be overwhelmed by details and may have a hard time seeing possibilities for new approaches
Intuition (N)
Intuitives
Rely on their conception about things based on their understanding of the world
Are always looking at the big picture and prefer to backward-plan
Want to know why something isn't working when there are problems, before moving ahead
Plan for long-term success and aren't tempted by short-term tasks
Delegate responsibility for implementing big projects
Place an X where you believe you fall:
Sensing
Intuition
I think I fall here because . . .
3. Decision Making: How you process information: Whether you first look at logic and consistency or at people and circumstances
Thinking (T)
Thinkers
Make decisions based on logical reasoning and are less affected by feelings and emotions
Can be objective in the face of emotionally charged issues
Are able to look at and analyze data and enjoy it
Are less concerned with wanting to be liked and more focused on enduring results
Can be insensitive to others and can create conflict
Feeling (F)
Feelers
Base decisions in emotions
Are relationship oriented
Cultivate a positive climate in the classroom or school
Can struggle to hold people accountable because they worry about damaging relationships
Important to Know
Thinkers do have emotions, and feelers do use their cognitive capacities as well.
Place an X where you believe you fall:
Thinking
Feeling
I think I fall here because . . .
4. External Structure: How you like to live your outer life: Whether you prefer things to be decided or to stay open and flexible
Judging (J)
Judgers
Are outcome oriented and decisive
Choose a plan of action and stay focused
Like to develop and execute plans
Are deadline oriented
Find changes to plans disruptive
Perceiving (P)
Perceivers
Are creative problem solvers always looking for new ideas and innovations
Like to keep options open
Often have new ideas and get overwhelmed with the number of things that could be tried
Can find change exciting
Important to Know
J or P preference only tells which preference people express in their outside world. Perceiving people may feel very orderly or structured on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable. Judging people may feel very curious and open ended in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured. Also, this type has nothing to do with how people organize their material world–both types can be a disheveled mess or supremely organized.
Place an X where you believe you fall:
Judging
Perceiving
I think I fall here because . . .
Take the free, online test at www.16personalities.com or http://www.humanmetrics.com (or you can take both and compare your results).
Write your four-letter personality type here:
Respond to the following questions:
Given your personality type, what really resonated? Were there any descriptions that felt particularly “like you”?
What were you surprised by in your results?
Were there any results that didn't feel accurate?
What are the implications of knowing these personality tendencies? Are there implications for what kind of work you do, where you work, whom you work with, and what you might be able to do?
Who are a few famous people who have shared your personality type?
Read about other types. Which types do you suspect are hardest for you to work with?
Something ignited in my soul . . . And I went my own way, deciphering that burning fire.
Pablo Neruda, poet
In the course of your life, what has ignited your soul?
If you've pursued what felt like a calling in your life, like a burning fire, where did it take you?
What did you decipher in that burning fire?
How might you connect with what ignites your soul?
Today, inquire into your motivations behind what you say. When you're about to say something, ask yourself:
What's my intention in saying this?
What emotions are below what I'm about to say? (Am I frustrated? Curious? Sad? Excited? Resentful?)
As many times as possible today, before you speak, ask yourself these questions. This can be hard to remember, so think of a cue that can jog your mind: Write something on your hand! Post a note above your whiteboard! If you can ask yourself these questions even a couple of times before you speak, you'll benefit.
How will you remember to ask yourself about the motivations behind your speech?
At the end of the day, capture your reflections here. What did you discover about what motivated you to speak? What did you learn about yourself?
We all have core values, but often we're not aware of what those are. This activity will help you identify your core values. It's a useful one to do every year and to reflect on how they change—or don't change.
1. Read through the list of values located at the end of this exercise and circle 10 that you feel are most important to you.
2. Cross off five of those values, leaving you with the five that are most important to you.
3. Now, from your list of five values, cross off two, leaving you with the three values that are most important to you. These are your core values.
How does it feel to read your list of values? What did it feel like to do this activity?
One year ago, what do you suspect your core values might have been? Ten years ago, what do you think they might have been?
Consider how your actions reflect your core values. Which values show up more often in your actions at work? At home? In social circles? With family?
What are some ways in which your actions reflect your core values? Think of one example of how actions you take reflect your core values.
Can you think of a time—or two—when your actions conflicted with a core value? How does it feel to remember those moments when there was a discrepancy between a value and your actions?
Write your three core values on a piece of paper and post them somewhere prominent. Reflect on them for a few months. See if they still feel like “core” values.
Sharing your core values with colleagues is a powerful way to connect and learn about each other. I often offer groups these discussion prompts:
What do your core values mean to you?
Describe the elimination process you went through to arrive at your three core values. How are the ones that you crossed off reflected in your top three?
Share a time when you acted on your core values.
Which of your core values feels easiest to uphold? Which feels hardest?
Find someone with the same value as you have, and explore how you experience the value similarly and differently—one value can mean different things to different people.
The following values apply to work and personal life. This is not an exhaustive list—you're welcome to add your own.
Acceptance
Achievement
Advancement
Adventure
Affection
Altruism
Ambition
Appreciation
Arts
Authenticity
Authority
Autonomy
Balance
Beauty
Belonging
Caring
Celebration
Challenge
Choice
Collaboration
Commitment
Communication
Community
Compassion
Competition
Connection
Contribution
Cooperation
Creativity
Democracy
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Empathy
Equality
Equity
Excellence
Excitement
Expertise
Fairness
Faith
Fame
Family
Flexibility
Focus
Forgiveness
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Generosity
Goals
Gratitude
Growth
Happiness
Harmony
Health
Helping others
High expectations
Honesty
Hope
Humor
Imagination
Independence
Influence
Initiative
Integrity
Interdependence
Intuition
Justice
Kindness
Knowledge
Leadership
Loyalty
Making a difference
Meaningful work
Mindfulness
Nature
Nurturing
Order
Passion
Peace
Perseverance
Personal development
Personal growth
Pleasure
Positive attitude
Power
Pride
Privacy
Productivity
Recognition
Reflection
Reputation
Respect
Responsibility
Results
Risk taking
Romance
Routine
Self-expression
Self-respect
Service
Sharing
Solitude
Spirituality
Success
Support
Teamwork
Time
Togetherness
Tolerance
Tradition
Travel
Trust
Truth
Unity
Variety
Zest
List 10 hopes you have as a teacher or leader:
Now put a star by the three that are most important. Is there one that is of top importance? Circle it.
For teachers: What do you want students to say about you 15 years after they leave your classroom?
For others: What do want the people you lead/coach/support to say about you 15 years after working with you?
Write this as if someone were speaking about you in the third person.
Who do you hope will speak at your retirement party?
What do you hope this person will say? Script as much of the speech as you can here.
A mission statement is a declaration of your purpose. It has a dual audience: You and others. It helps you establish priorities and guides your decisions. You may want to create a mission statement that speaks to your purpose as an educator, or to a broader purpose in life.
Draft a few mission statements on 3-by-5 index cards. Don't worry about the wording, and don't show them to anyone. These prompts can help you generate ideas for your statement:
What do you hope will be true as a result of your work?
What impact do you want to have on others or the world?
Which values drive you to do what you do?
Carry these index cards around in your pocket for a week.
Pull them out occasionally and read them. Notice how you feel reading them. Is there one that feels more empowering? Closer to the truth? Are there elements in each one that if combined might reflect your sense of purpose?
Capture your reflections on your first round of mission statements here:
After a week of carrying your drafts, write one mission statement that draws from them. Of course, you can write something entirely new if you want. Use words that feel like you. They don't have to be fancy—they need to feel authentic. Write your statement in the box here.
My Mission:
How does it feel to see your mission statement?
Read it aloud. How does it feel to hear yourself proclaim it?
Share it with someone else. How does it feel to share? What was the person's response?
I feel very uncomfortable when I share my mission with others. Sharing makes me feel vulnerable and exposed. But I do it anyway. Here's mine:
My mission is to heal and transform the world. I help educators discover ways of being and working that are joyful and rewarding, that bring communities together, and that result in positive outcomes for children. I help people find their own power and empower others so that we can transform our education system, our society, and our world.
Write your mission statement in large letters and post it in your classroom or office where you'll see it regularly. Use color or decorate it if you want.
When you're having a hard day, read it and notice how you feel.
When you have a good day, reflect on how you acted on your sense of purpose. Often what contributes to our good days is that our actions were aligned to our mission.
Leopards are noble, courageous, and confident. Eagles have grace and perspective. Owls are symbols of wisdom and equanimity. Bobcats are tenacious. Hummingbirds are pollinators.
Reflect on the animal that you'd like to be at work or in your life. Perhaps one comes to mind immediately. Or perhaps you could do some research and reading on characteristics of animals and then decide on one. Allow this thinking and exploration to be a reflection on who you are and who you want to be.
After some reflection, draw your animal here, or paste in a photo of it. Add some words to name the qualities of the animal that reflect aspects of yourself or who you want to be.
When you were a child, what were you good at?
When you were a child, what did you love doing? What did you want to be when you grew up?
Outside of your current work, what do you love doing? What do you feel good at? What do you feel good at and love doing that also feels easy to do?
Looking at your answers to these questions, what strengths, skills, or talents do you have to draw on in your daily work?
As they relate to your professional role, list your aptitudes and interests. Let yourself free-associate and don't judge yourself for what comes up. In Exhibit 1.1 at the end of this section, you can see my reflection as a teacher.
Aptitudes
What are you good at? What natural talents do you have? What learned abilities do you have?
Interests
What do you like doing?
Which aptitudes do you wish you had or would you like to cultivate?
What are you not interested in? What don't you like doing?