656 days E-Book

Lilli J Wettke

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Abenteuer, Thriller, Horror
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 156

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

"656 Days" is a relentless and profoundly moving psychological thriller based on a true case. Told through three narratives, the author masterfully weaves the haunting journey of Josefine, a young woman caught in the aftermath of a devastating assault. Torn between guilt and voicelessness, Josefine descends into an inner battle louder than any spoken word. As the story unfolds, the intricate connections between the characters give rise to unforeseen twists, layered with a narrative style and psychological nuance that reveal: nothing is as it seems. With both tenderness and unflinching honesty, this novel explores what it means to reclaim your truth when the world denies it. A book that does not just ask to be read, but felt. Line by line. Page by page.

Leseprobe

For all flowers,

that still manage to grow after a forest fire.

Trigger warning!

This novel contains graphic details on sexual abuse, self-harming behaviour, blades, attempted suicide, emotional abuse and derealization/dissociation.

Narcissism, PTSD, and sociopathy are mentioned.

If these are topics that trigger you, you are not recommended to read this book.

If you are below the age of sixteen, please discuss with your guardian if this novel is appropriate for you.

If any of the topics mentioned in the text are known to you personally, please do not hesitate to seek help. Talk to a trusted person or the police.

And please do not forget; What is done to you, is never and under no circumstances at all your fault. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but of incredible strength.

Table of Contents

About her

Josefine

Jane

Soleil

Josefine

Soleil

Josefine

Jane

Josefine

Jane

Josefine

Jane

Josefine

Josefine

Jane

Josefine

Jane

Josefine

Soleil

Josefine

Soleil

Josefine

About her

The calm before the storm.

She likes to look at the sea. Often, she just stands there, with her bare feet in the cold sand and the blowing wind in her hair. There is a certain smell that heralds the calm before the storm. The breeze in her nose sounds like the sea's last cry for help before the storm swallows it. She often sits there, on a dune, her dune, smelling this very smell and listening to the sea's painful screams. The sound calms her, gives her a sense of home, of secrecy. Now she lies there, twisted in herself. Her body is in most places as blue as the sea. Red blood flows from her nose and from the cut left by his knife. She had felt the calm before the storm on her way home, had rejoiced at the secrecy it gave her. She was bouncing. Only five minutes to get home.

And now she lies here, an hour later and it is still five minutes until home. The calm before the storm is gone, for the storm had broken loose. Now she understood the sea, and why it was screaming. Now she laid there, left alone. Her trousers were open, and her shirt stuck to her like a single torn shred.

Five minutes and the calm before the storm would not have changed its meaning forever. Five minutes and she would have arrived home safely with the feeling of secrecy in her heart. But no, he had seen her. He had felt relentless, he had scoured over her restlessly like the storm over the sea.

It had not mattered to him, for she was only one of the many seas in which he had beaten his waves, but the sea was now restless. It kept moving, throwing huge waves. She had the feeling that she would never again be able to come to rest. She laid there still from the outside, but her thoughts dragged her to the bottom of the sea, in a vortex beneath the surface of the water. She laid there for a long time, until the waves subsided, leaving a stillness, a stillness of death.

What had just been marked by loud noises and deafening rumblings, by man-high waves and metre-deep swirls now laid still, calm, smooth and broken.

Now she also came to know the calm after the storm, and she despaired. Her thoughts appeared again on the surface of the water, but it was too late, she was dead, her thoughts drowned. Yet she lived, lying on the ground as a silent shell, breathing without being alive. The calm after the storm ate her up, for it had nothing familiar. It was nothing but a cruel emptiness left behind by the storm. Now she really understood the sea, and from now on she hated the smell of the calm before the storm, for she had felt the suffering that the sea had to experience.

Josefine

''Actually, how would you react if I kissed you right now?”

In hindsight, this question alone should have thrown me off, but I didn't realise it at that time. Jane and I had been best friends for years, so what intention would this question have other than simple interest. That’s why I went into it and replied:

"To be honest, I wouldn't think it was that great! I think friendship should remain friendship and relationship should remain relationship!"

"So, may I kiss you then?" She looked at me cheekily, but also expectantly. Had I not made myself clear enough? I loved Jane, I really did, but only in a platonic manner. I felt uncomfortable on the spot and slipped a little away from her, symbolically, just to be on the safe side. She moved a little closer to me. I felt pressurised, my pulse quickened, I could feel the unease welling up inside me. She wouldn't hurt me; I was aware of that. I knew her well enough to be sure of that by now. She was a good soul, and I knew that she liked me. That's why she would never do anything to harm me. I was completely convinced of that.

"Oh come on! I just want to try it out, don't always be such a killjoy!"

I was seriously starting to feel indisposed. I felt the need to just run away, anywhere. Just away. I didn't want to openly show my insecurity as I didn't want to offend her, so I tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. It didn't work. While I was talking, she kept sliding closer and closer to me until I got up and sat down on the floor. It was a clear sign, but Jane didn't even make a secret out of the fact that she didn't care what I thought about her “idea”. Or did she just not realise? Yes, that had to be the case, she didn't notice, otherwise it was impossible to explain her behaviour. She wasn't usually so slow on the uptake, but I refused to allow myself the thought that she might not care about my boundaries.

I wanted to escape this situation somehow, but how?

Simply asking her to leave my flat would have been rude, and I didn't want her to think that I distrusted her in any way. She was my best friend, and I loved her with all my heart... as a friend. The last thing I wanted to do was offend her, because there was no way I was going to risk what we had. What kind of friend would I be? Our friendship was sacred to me. It was one of a kind, we were different in some ways, but usually that wasn’t even a problem. Opposites attract, right? Us being polar opposites usually was the charm of our relationship, but in situations like this, it was… impractical.

My plan to sit down didn't quite work as intended, because Jane also got up and sat on the floor directly in front of me.

She left so little space that our knees were touching. Then she leant forward and...

I put my hand out in front of her and said: "Stop! Stop that! Are you out of your mind? I don't want that!" in such a way that no misunderstandings were possible. I stood up and sat down a foot away. My hands were shaking. I was more or less trapped in the situation, had no way out, like a convict in prison. Jane came after me "Ey, Ey, Ey, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. Stop being so paranoid! What's going to happen?" I sniggered sheepishly, not knowing how to react. I didn't comment on her behaviour otherwise, what else was there to say, but I consciously made sure that our knees didn't touch this time, just be safe. I didn't want to insinuate anything against my best friend not for all the good in the world...

I should have, and I should have chased her out of my flat, but I couldn't have known at that time.

This game went on a few more times. I tried to have a normal conversation, she came closer to me, I slipped away. I was overwhelmed. I had gotten to know Jane as such a friendly, polite and considerate person.

I wasn’t in any position to doubt her at this moment. Why would I? Why would she make a 180 degrees twist in her personality? Why?

My doorbell rang. Finally! A chance to take a few breaths. I stood up and opened the door. I was delighted that this situation had been disturbed by whoever angel was currently standing on my doorstep. In my imagination, I would return, and everything would be normal again. In front of me was my neighbour from above. Mid-sixties, no wife, no kids, no grandkids. He was pretty lonely and sometimes searched for someone to talk to. I liked his company, that is why I sometimes had dinner with him.

“Hey, I am so sorry, but I have guests over” I said.

“Well, that’s all right… wait, are you okay, dear?” As it sems my confusion about the situation with Jane could be read from my face. I heard Jane move in the living room, which coincidently meant, that she could hear me as well. I would have been honest, but that wasn’t a real option now. Wait? Honest about what? There was nothing to lie about. I was meeting up with a dear friend of mine. Jane had her special moments sometimes, so what? The rest was just something my head was too weird to process correctly. Jane told me that nothing was going on, so why couldn’t I just trust her?

“Of course I am all right, I hope you are to! I am just a little stressed out with work, that’s all”

“Well then, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you any longer”

“Flibbertigibbet, no! You are not inconveniencing me at all.

Let’s have dinner again in a few days, all right?”

“All right, you have your fun!”

When I entered the living room, it seemed like Jane hadn’t come back to her senses after all. Instead, she just decided to update her game and to keep playing. For her, it was nothing more, just a game she enjoyed.

After some time, she managed to trap me into a corner. It reminded me of chess in an odd way. Checkmate! At this point, I must have said no at least thirteen times, but she didn’t want to hear it. With every time, my words became more powerless, less demanding, more pleading. My mind had given into my fate.

She had always been the dominant one, but it had never been like this. I never felt like she used that power she had over me, to dominate me. I tried to get up, but she grabbed me. A wall to my left, a wall to my right, her in front of me, over me. I was trapped. “No” I stuttered one last time. A soulless attempt, a hopeless attempt, I knew it wasn’t going to help me in any way.

It wasn’t an order any longer, just a begging sound. The kind of sound someone makes, when being held at gunpoint.

She leaned over me further, I tried to stop her, I really did.

Jane was stronger than me. She was laying on top of me, her bodyweight pinning me to the ground. It would happen, I knew it, I had to come to peace with this thought.

She slowly started to touch me, and my eyes started to water.

Her hand wandered over my boobs until she petted my waist.

I thanked every form of grace, that I had changed my outfit last minute. No lowcut top, no short skirt. Her fingers circled over my butt when she kissed my neck, my cheek. Next her hand was on the inside of my lap. My panic had reached its climax, and I was unable to catch a breath. I was out of air, it felt like my lounges were tied up. My heart was racing, I couldn’t hold my tears in for any longer. One sole drop of salty liquid left my eye, and with it, my soul.

There was an unknown form of pain in my stomach. My whole body, every little muscle inside of me was tensed. I felt like I was going to pass out, I felt like I was falling, falling, bursting on the ground. I was dizzy, and yet another tear ran down my cheek. I was falling, and falling, but there was never any ground I could hit, I was infinitely falling.

I didn’t want this. I wanted to stay strong; I didn’t want to cry.

I wanted to keep any last bit of dignity I had.

Her tongue was in my mouth, I could taste her without wanting to.

It felt terrible, and these minutes that passed like hours tore me to shreds. It didn’t kill me, but something inside me died that day.

Within these seconds something in me withered away, just like a plant who is withheld from the water.

She moved her leg away from my stomach and slowly made our lips part. She didn’t hold me down any longer, she didn’t have to. When I tried to sit, the dizziness got the better of me.

But I kept composed, I refused to show any sign of weakness in this moment.

“How did you like it?”, Jane asked, her breath hallowing over my skin. The tightening in my stomach morphed into the blank will to vomit.

The ringtone of a mobile phone cut through the silence like a knife. Jane got up and said hello, before leaving the room.

The moment she was out of sight I collapsed.

After approximately two minutes, she came back. My posture straightened as I couldn’t bear to let her see my weakness.

“Sorry, I have to go!”, she said, grabbing her Jacked. I felt tones of weight lifting from my heart.

What she added, let fear crawl down my spine.

“The next time we proceed”

Jane

Soleil had a talent for calling me at the wrong times. There could have been so much more happening between me and Josefine. She always had to find her way of ruining things for me. Who did she think she was?

I didn’t love her like I used to in a long time.

To be precise, I was annoyed by her constant happy, energetic attitude. I couldn’t bare her presence any longer.

In the beginning I really adored her, but by now I thought of her as unbearable.

I didn’t even find her attractive anymore. Not, since she got this huge mandala tattoo on her shoulder. She designed it herself. I told her not to get it inked, but she wouldn’t listen. She said she liked the motive, and she wanted people to see her personality, just by looking at the art on her skin. Sounded like something Josefine would say. Both of them were pathetic, only that I loved Josefine.

I didn’t love Soleil anymore, but I also wasn’t about to break up with her, as that would have been fairly stupid. She was my professor’s daughter, and god he adored her.

So I decided to just meet other woman that I actually found alluring behind her back instead. And by woman, I meant Josefine.

Soleil

Had I done something wrong? Jane had seemed unhappy about my call. I had immediately asked if everything was all right, but she had said yes. I couldn't figure her out lately.

Something had changed between us, but I didn't know what it was. Jane wasn't as affectionate as she used to be in the beginning. Somehow all my attempts to refresh our relationship left her cold. I felt quite abandoned because I had the impression that she was avoiding me. She wouldn't even take my hand when we were out together. I had already tried to address the issue several times because I felt that communication was always the most important thing in a relationship. She had always quickly changed the subject when I brought up my concerns, so I really was out of ideas on what I should do. She always made up excuses that sounded nothing like her, nothing like the woman I fell so madly in love with.

Josefine

When I heard the door close behind Jane, I finally let out a sigh of relief. I let the shaking- that I had suppressed with all my power, take over me. I was unable to move any longer. My fingers became cold and stiff, my heartrate was around three times as high as would have been healthy.

I was shaking, still I felt sweat building on my forehead and suddenly, I also felt trouble breathing. My ribcage felt like it was way too small, like it was about to burst. My lounges burned like I just sprinted trough a marathon. I gasped.

Everything in me tightened. The pain in my soul was so strong that it effected my whole body. I was at the verge of crying, of screaming in pain. My head moved into an up looking position, I fought for breath. I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but there was no sound, I was mute. I silently screamed out all the suffering that had built up inside me. I screamed, but it was silent, so nobody noticed.

Suddenly everything was gone, all the pain, all these feelings had left me as if they had exited through my open mouth.

I only felt half human anymore. I felt like every inch of humanity inside me had been blown away.

My being on this earth was nothing more than an empty, numb, callous shell of human flesh.

I did not feel anything anymore. I wanted to cry, but I was unable to. My body had given up all his function. Only the agony of breathing was still mine.

I was a stone on the ground of a frozen lake, cold, stiff, hard… blunted, completely free from any form of human emotion.

I felt like I was alive but dead, only yet living to exist.

With great effort, I managed to pull myself up the wall. As I staggered towards my bathroom, I had to cling to every piece of furniture that I owned in order not to drop to the floor