a Pawn of Power E-Book

Fia Helleberg

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Fantasy und Science-Fiction
• Serie: Caladon series
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 774

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

The world is upside down. Ariana is shattered after Virion's betrayal, and she finds herself with powers she could never have dreamed of, powers she never wanted. Nothing is as it was, and in a world where friend have turned foe, she flees. However, the journey to Ennetèa will be dangerous, and together with her companions she will face not only daevas, but her own conflicted feelings. § How will she ever be able to forgive Virion, and is that something she even wants to? And above all; how will she rise to the expectations of becoming Anar; the saviour of both humans and fae? Because war is coming, and Ariana is not ready.

Leseprobe

To our dear Stormare

Never has there been a cheerleader like you

Thank you for letting me break your heart with this book over and over again

Contents

PROLOGUE

PART I: DARKNESS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

PART 2: FIRE

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 40

PART 3: BLOOD

CHAPTER 41

CHAPTER 42

CHAPTER 43

CHAPTER 44

CHAPTER 45

CHAPTER 46

CHAPTER 47

CHAPTER 48

CHAPTER 49

CHAPTER 50

CHAPTER 51

CHAPTER 52

CHAPTER 53

CHAPTER 54

CHAPTER 55

CHAPTER 56

CHAPTER 57

CHAPTER 58

CHAPTER 59

CHAPTER 60

CHAPTER 61

CHAPTER 62

CHAPTER 63

CHAPTER 64

CHAPTER 65

CHAPTER 66

PROLOGUE

T aranth looked around the once solid castle in shock. Much of it was destroyed, walls and ceilings had collapsed and huge boulders lay in drifts in the corridor. He tried to keep up the pace but was still shaken by the sudden explosion. His movements were slow, his body still in shock. It was a miracle that everyone had made it out of the great hall, that no one had been crushed when the roof collapsed. But the king had been faster than any of them, had managed to protect everyone present from the worst. Then Taranth had dragged the dazed Virion out of the hall while the floor, the ground, had crumbled under their feet. Only now, several hours later, had the worst of the chaos subsided. The king's men had already begun repairing the damage with magic, and everywhere in the enormous castle, soldiers and servants were running back and forth in a blur.

Taranth had seen to his men, making sure no one was hurt, but now Virion had sent for him. Taranth swallowed. He had no idea what had happened, but he was bound to find out. The surge of power that had destroyed the castle was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He had met powerful conjurers before, but this... If magic was fire, then the explosion had been an unstoppable, raging inferno.

He wasn't sure if it was the power surge or the chaos afterwards that had shaken him most.

Pondering, he walked through the endless corridors towards the parts of the castle that had not been as affected by the disaster. People swarmed around the corridors, everyone discussing the incident, but Taranth continued, alone and brooding, forward.

When he finally arrived at the room he had been summoned to, he took a deep, unsteady breath before placing his hand on the doorknob. His stomach felt heavy, and whatever had happened, whatever was coming, it was not good. The king's insane monologue of war and humans and magic had been enough, Taranth wasn't sure he could handle much more today. The door slid open with a creak and the murmuring voices from inside the room fell silent. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him and forcing his body to fall into old patterns. He kept his back straight, his chin up and locked his arms behind his back.

"Your Majesty," he greeted militarily. "Lord Virion."

"Report," commanded Virion, who sat with the king at a small table laden with cold cuts and fruit.

"No casualties," Taranth replied. "Our men were not at the epicenter of the explosion."

"And the others?" the king asked.

"I answer only for Aero's men," said Taranth. "Lord Kirin, Lord Taegan and Lord Lochlan have left with their households, that's all I know."

The king snorted and turned to Virion again, who looked wild-eyed and disheveled in a way Taranth had never seen before.

"Lord Virion, the men need to know what happened," Taranth said, readying himself. "We need to calculate the journey back, take any new enemies into account."

"There is no new enemy," Virion spat, his face twisted with anger. "We invited him in ourselves and now he has taken Ariana, abducted her. I do not know how or why she was here, but the King's chamberlain, Oryn, confirmed that he received them."

Taranth looked confused at his lord, whose anger pulsated through the room like waves of pure energy.

"I... who has taken her away?" he asked in confusion.

"General Caelan Solas," the king replied calmly. "It was he who created the explosion in an attempt to get rid of his rival, Lord Virion, once and for all."

Taranth looked at them both in disbelief. He knew Caelan was mighty, powerful, but even he couldn't summon that kind of energy. Taranth wasn't sure even the king could do it. And for Caelan to abduct Ariana... Taranth knew Caelan, at least to some extent, and he was not the kind of man to make irrational decisions that would jeopardize peace and relationships for such a coup. And for what reason?

"Are you sure, Your Majesty?" he asked, and the King's face darkened.

"I have seen the way he looks at her," Virion hissed, rising from his chair. "I was a fool to order him to watch over her, I walked right into the trap. I should have known. Considering what has happened in the past."

Virion began to walk back and forth, and Taranth watched him with sympathy but said nothing. He also knew of Caelans past, but that had been hundreds of years ago. The male Caelan was today was not the same person he had been then; there were far too many loose ends to this theory. Why would Caelan have dragged Ariana here and then kidnapped her? Why had he not taken the opportunity to disappear quietly from Aeros when Taranth and Virion were gone? And assassinating someone was not Caelan's style, especially not for the simple reason that he wanted another male's woman.

"I want you to find her!" Virion shouted so suddenly that Taranth flinched. "Find her before that scum manages to take her to Ennetèa. All the territories have closed their borders so he won't be able to get there by portal. Find her, and if Caelan becomes a problem, kill him."

"As you command, Lord Virion," Taranth said with a nod. There was no point in arguing, not when rage tore relentlessly through Virion like a desert storm. The king looked ahead inscrutably, seemingly unfazed by the outburst.

"When you find her, bring her here, to Niva," the King said.

Every one of Taranth's instincts was instantly on edge, but he made sure to look unconcerned.

"Not to Aerona, Your Majesty?" he asked, adding with some sourness: "It is, after all, her home."

"Take her to Niva," the King repeated. "If the general comes after... we can handle him."

Taranth avoided saying that the day's events directly contradicted this statement, and instead turned to Virion, who nodded.

"Understood," Taranth said and bowed, before turning and leaving the room. The gnawing feeling in his stomach grew worse with every step. For years he had watched the king creeping up on Virion, filling the lord's head with one bizarre idea after another. But now, this... open war, extermination of the humans, making an enemy of Ennetèa. Taranth sighed. Virion was his friend; he wasn't going to abandon him now. He just hoped there was some way to get him to listen again.

PART I

DARKNESS

CHAPTER 1

A llie walked casually through the alley, with Dominik and Tristan at her heels. No soldiers, thank the gods. That they had even managed to get out of Morana was a bloody miracle; the small town had been swarmed by soldiers before the earthquake had even begun to subside. And Caelan had not left a single trace behind. It had taken them over a week before they received word from him, before he was close enough to send a message, mind to mind. And now they found themselves in the ramshackle village where he had apparently taken refuge with Ariana.

The rumors about what had happened were as numerous as they were unbelievable, and Allie had stopped listening when a traveler had started talking about dragons waking once more. It was evident that she would not hear the truth about it all until she and the others heard it from Caelan. But something had happened, something catastrophic. So much so that Tristan had already sent word to Aerona and ordered their company to return to Ennetèa immediately.

"I'm freezing my balls off," Dominik muttered behind her. "I'm going to crack Caelan's ribs to thank him for making me wander through Niva before the snow melts."

"I think Caelan has enough on his mind right now," Tristan replied, and Dominik grunted in response.

"This is it," Allie said, stopping in front of the unassuming inn before opening the door and stepping inside. The warmth flowed towards them and Dominik gave a sigh of relief. A soft buzz of the talking guests was in the air, and she noticed Caelan in half a second. He was sitting by himself at one of the tables, dirty and worn. His gaze seemed far away and he looked like he had been through hell since they last saw him. Allie took a step towards him and he seemed to break free of his trance. He stretched when he saw them and the arrogant, unfeeling mask slipped into place.

"You took your time," he said as she, Dominik and Tristan sat down at the table.

"What the hell happened?" Dominik asked without greeting, and a hint of sadness slid across Caelan's face. He sighed heavily and then he spoke.

It took a while, and when he finished, she, Tristan and Dominik sat in stunned silence.

"Are you kidding me?" Allie finally asked. "Her, Anar?"

"You must have noticed something," Tristan said. "The way she felt. She's never been normal."

"Of course I have," she snapped. "But Anar? This is going to put the whole damn world out of whack."

"I'm going to carve a bloodeagle on that fucking asshole," Dominik growled and Allie rolled her eyes. He glared at her. "Virion has always been weak," he continued. "But to sell out her sister? Her mother? He deserves to die."

Dominik, the eternally loyal, the unyielding friend. Warmth flooded her stomach, and she never could stop appreciating him and his sense of what was important. For how he simply had decided that Ariana was now one of them.

"How is she?" Tristan asked, in a probable effort to change the subject.

"Not well," Caelan sighed and his shoulders dropped. "She's not talking, barely eating. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. She's like a ghost."

Allie looked at Caelan, at the dark circles under his eyes. The hopelessness that marked his face.

"And what do we do now?" she asked. "Have you asked what Ariana wants? What she thinks, what she feels?"

"I've tried," Caelan replied. "But she... I don't know. But I'm not going to take her back to Aerona, or to Niva."

"Thank fuck for that," Dominik snorted, crossing his arms. Allie looked at him with reproach, but Caelan continued.

"I don't know what the king is planning, but I intend to keep her far away from him. Ariana needs help, she needs to learn to control her powers. That explosion, it's a miracle it didn't kill her. And given how things are in Caladon right now... The only thing I can think of is that we need to get to Ennetèa, if only to have a base. To figure out what to do next."

"That sounds like a good plan," Dominik agreed. "I'm sick of the mainland."

"It's probably the wisest thing we can do right now," Tristan said with a nod.

Caelan ran his hand through his dirty hair and he looked terribly haunted.

"I'll go and order some food and drink," he said and stood. "Then we must leave. It's only a matter of time before soldiers come here too, and I want to get to Ennetèa as soon as possible."

Allie nodded, as did Dominik and Tristan, and Caelan went to the adjoining room to order. She watched him leave, and after a moment's hesitation, she got up and followed.

"Caelan." She came up to him just before he started ordering and he gave her an impatient look.

"What is it?"

"How are you feeling?" she asked, looking over the hunted face once more. The lifeless eyes.

"I'm just tired," he mumbled. "I'll catch up soon, nothing to worry about."

Allie snorted. "You know I know you better than that."

Caelan glared at her, but she didn't look away, and he sighed in resignation. "She's broken," he muttered, rubbing his temples in frustration. "It's like there's nothing left, like she's just a shell. I don't know how to get her out of it, she won't even talk to me. I feel so fucking useless."

"She's just had her heart broken," Allie said calmly. "She loved Virion and he betrayed her. Sold her out. How do you expect her to feel?"

"I'm not saying I don't get it," he snapped. "I just don't know how to help her, if I can."

"You remember what it was like after Ilea, right? Give it time."

Caelan gave her a dark look but she held his stare. He never talked about Ilea but Allie knew. Had seen Caelan break down to a shard of himself and then how he got back up again. Step by step.

He sighed again and Allie patted his arm. "Let’s just take it day by day," she said, trying to sound encouraging. "We'll eat a little, get going, and then we'll see what happens."

Caelan grunted in agreement, but his eyes were still void of hope as he stepped up to the counter and quietly ordered. They then returned to the table, where Tristan and Dominik spoke quietly as Allie and Caelan resumed their seats.

"Soldiers have been spotted in the neighboring village," Tristan said, nodding towards one of the other tables, where two scruffy men sat drinking. "People are talking about it.”

"Niva or Aeros?" Caelan asked.

"Both," Dominik muttered. "We need to leave, quickly."

"We have time to eat," Allie interjected, stomach growling.

"And Ariana?" Tristan asked.

"I will keep her hidden," Caelan replied. "If you were thinking about food, we'll deal with that later. I asked before you arrived if she was hungry but she didn't answer."

"It's not the last time we'll eat," Allie said, and fell silent as waiters came and placed steaming bowls of stew in front of them, along with large tankards filled to the brim with beer.

"I have some food packed when she needs it," Tristan said as the staff left, and Dominik tucked into the fragrant stew.

Allie took on the meal, and the warmth spread through her body. It was rather bland, nothing like the food at her favorite restaurant in Vianòr, but it was nourishing. They all ate quickly and efficiently in silence as they had done so many times before, and soon the bowls were scraped clean and the tankards emptied.

"I'm going up to Ariana," Caelan said after a moment's pause, before standing up. "I'll try to get her to come to. If not, I guess I’ll have to carry her out."

"I'll go with you," Allie said, getting up as well. Caelan's eyes filled with suspicion and she rolled her eyes. "You don't have to mark your territory, Caelan. I just want to see how she is, perhaps a female perspective is needed?"

Dominik gave a low chuckle and Caelan nodded, albeit reluctantly. They left the taproom and walked up the stairs together. Caelan stopped in front of one of the narrow doors in the cramped corridor.

"I'll go in first," he said before opening the door and entering the room. He left the door slightly ajar and Allie peeked in, seeing Ariana sitting on the bed.

She was a shadow of her former sparkling self. The fiery, moody young woman Allie had traveled with seemed to be but a memory, and the human woman sitting on the bed was hollow-eyed and with colorless skin. She seemed to have suffered all the pains of hell, but then Allie knew very well what a broken heart could do. Her body ached with compassion, ached with the fact that she recognized that blank stare all too well.

"Ariana?" Caelan said gently, his voice soft as velvet. "The others are here now. We need to start thinking about leaving, it's only a matter of time before the king's men search the village." Ariana didn't answer, barely seeming to react. "Allie wanted to come in, is that okay?" he asked, and Allie almost held her breath. But then there was a slight, almost imperceptible nod. Caelan turned and came back to Allie in the doorway.

"Do what you can," he murmured. "There are clothes on the dresser, but I haven't been able to get her to change yet. Just... be careful."

"I won't hurt her," Allie replied, but that did little to erase the worry etched in Caelans face. So she nodded and then passed him. She walked over to Ariana, who sat broken and pale on the bed, and did the only thing she could think of. Allie pulled her into a tight embrace, stroking her matted hair. The scent hit her, different yet the same. Enhanced, somehow, more charged. A scent of fresh apples, of lily of the valley and fresh air. Allie held Ariana close, reminding herself that a broken heart could actually heal, with time.

And with love.

CHAPTER 2

A riana did not know for how long she had been sitting in the room at the small inn. She registered that the sun was rising and setting outside the window but had no sense of time. Whatever had been unleashed inside her, the powers, tingled under her skin and occasionally washed through her like waves, looking for a way out.

She stared blankly at the wall. All she could think about, replaying in her mind over and over again, was Virion saying those cursed words, the words that had broken her heart until only the memory of it remained.

I would. I would sacrifice anything to keep peace and order in my country, to keep my people safe. I would have no qualms about using them, in whatever way is appropriate, to ensure that we have an advantage in this war.

He had no issues selling out her family. He had used her as a pawn in his political game and he had done so without hesitation. And he had said he loved her, had loved her, body and soul. And she had loved him back. Her heart ached so much that she was pretty sure she still loved him, despite everything that had happened. Maybe that was the danger of letting someone in, of loving someone. The more you valued a person, the more painful it was when they stabbed you in the back. She had thought she had learned that lesson once with Patryck, but apparently not.

Caelan had come into her room sometimes, had tried to talk to her, but she couldn't remember what he had said or what he had asked. He had seemed stressed, worried, dressed in strange clothes that didn't fit him at all. But she didn't care. She could sit in this room forever, as far as she was concerned. Sit in the lonely silence and stare at the wall. She sighed for the hundredth time. Maybe she should cry, but there were no tears left. She didn't know what was worse, the pain in her chest or the numbing emptiness that lay like a gray fog around her, in her head. Or the new, unfamiliar feeling of power, of magic that was constantly moving under her skin.

"Ariana?"

She didn't look up, not having heard or noticed Caelan enter the room.

"The others are here now. We need to start thinking about leaving, it's only a matter of time before the king's men search the village."

Ariana did not answer, did not know when or who had decided that she was now Caelan's responsibility, that he was the one who best knew what was dangerous or not, who was friend or foe.

"Allie wanted to come in, is that okay?"

She didn't really want to, but assumed that Caelan would hardly care what she wanted. So she nodded vaguely, still not looking at him.

A murmur was heard before Aliette's steps clicked on the floor, and Caelan closed the door. Out of nowhere, Ariana felt herself wrapped in a hard embrace and her paralyzed stare into the wall was interrupted. Aliette held her tight, for a long while, then pulled back and placed a hand on her cheek. Sad, gray eyes met hers.

"How are you?" Aliette asked, and the phrase alone made Ariana’s throat tighten.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said hoarsely, her voice unsteady as it had not been used for days. Aliette smiled sympathetically.

"That's okay. We can talk later, when you feel like it." Ariana nodded, knowing that would never happen. "Caelan has told me what happened. We have to leave; the king's soldiers are everywhere and the sooner we get to Ennetèa the better."

So that was where they were taking her. Far, far away from Virion. Ariana didn't know whether she was relieved or devastated, had no idea what she wanted or not.

"The others are waiting downstairs. Are you ready?"

No, not in a lifetime would she be ready. But Ariana nodded and got up on shaky, weak legs. She realized she had barely eaten since they arrived, and her body was stiff from being still for so long. Aliette pointed to a bundle of clothes lying on top of the dresser.

"Put that on, I'll wait outside."

Ariana dressed slowly in clothes that were simple and almost weathered. Bland brown trousers, a shirt and jacket, belt, knitted shawl and gloves. Only when she stepped out of the room did she notice that Aliette was dressed the same way, and together they went down the narrow staircase.

The inn was as inns were most, well-kept and open plan. Villagers and traveling merchants of all kinds sat scattered in the various taprooms and had a meal.

Caelan, Dominik and Tristan were waiting by the entrance, and Ariana noticed that all three looked different. All dressed in simple pants, tunics and threadbare cloaks and jackets. Gloves and boots looked weathered, and apart from the swords, there was nothing to indicate that they were warriors, fighters.

Dominik took a few steps forward when they came downstairs, and gave Ariana a bear-like hug. When he released her, they joined the others without saying a word. Tristan put a soft hand on her shoulder, but no one said anything. No one commented on what had happened.

"We're leaving, just far enough away to make it safe to open a portal," Caelan said. "I can't take us all the way to Vianòr, but I should be able to take us to Mirea. It's safer there, Lord Selvynn is a friend and I trust him."

The others nodded and without further discussion they left the inn. Horses were saddled and waiting outside, horses that one of them must have bought while Ariana was in the room. She still wondered how long she had been there, how long it had been since Virion betrayed her. She wondered what he was doing now, if he was looking for her. If he was furious, or insane with worry. Or maybe something else, cold and calculating. Ariana swallowed. For all she knew it might have been a game to him. An act. Her pitiful heart fluttered. No, it wasn't. That part of him had been true, real. She knew it, that he had really loved her.

"Do you need help?" Dominik asked and she nodded, trying to clear her mind. He lifted her onto the horse and she took the reins. It was a magnificent animal; much stronger than the meager horses they had bought on the road to Niva. And yet she felt nothing. Not a breath of the roaring joy she used to feel when on horseback.

"We ride fast," said Caelan, taking the lead.

They set off at a boisterous gallop, leaving the simple, anonymous village behind.

§

They rode for an hour or so, following the wide country road before Caelan slowed down and turned off towards the edge of the forest. They trotted through the trees, kept going until they couldn't see the road anymore and then stopped. They dismounted and Ariana looked around the forest, unprepared for the sensation that washed over her.

The soft murmur that she had previously experienced in the forests of Caladon was now a roaring sea of sounds, of music. It rang like bells and she could feel the magic around her. She could hear the whispers between the trees, and not whispers as if the wind was blowing through the canopy, but as if the trees were actually talking to each other. She could feel the presence of creatures, thousands and thousands of creatures, some curious and some threatening. It was overwhelming and she didn't know how to even begin to sort out what was what, how to shut it out of her mind. She became faint and almost a little dizzy. Caelan watched her intently but did not comment.

"Let's go to Mirea," he said, and with a gesture he opened the now familiar shimmering portal.

"See you there," Dominik said and stepped through. Before he, with a curse, was thrown back again. The force with which he tumbled backwards was so great that he fell to the ground, and from the portal came a rumbling, uneasy sound like distant thunder. Caelan swore under his breath.

"They've closed their borders, " Aliette grumbled. "Every lord must have done so. We should have realized, word of what happened in Niva will have spread by now, of course they’ll have taken security measures."

Ariana looked at them, blinking against the gray fog of hopelessness that seemed to surround her entire being. "How long?" she asked in a thin voice.

"A week and a half ago," Tristan replied. "It took us a while to find you, Caelan hid you a little too well."

A week and a half. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"So what do we do?" Dominik asked, getting back on his feet. "What's the plan?"

"We'll have to go on horseback," said Caelan with some distaste. "I can take us shorter distances, as long as we don't cross borders, but it's a waste of magic. Magic that I might need. Besides, portals can be traced, and we have to be careful."

Tristan looked unconcerned. "We've done worse things."

"But the stakes were not as high then," Caelan replied. "Well, we'll ride another mile or so and camp in the evening if we can't get to a new inn."

Ariana's stomach growled and she felt a tingle of hunger, but said nothing. Instead, she did what the others did; went to her horse and got help up before they all set off again.

§

They had ridden all day, and when evening came they had gone back into the forest and quickly made camp. Ariana was exhausted, her body completely drained of energy, and she sat on a log staring into the fire while the others talked quietly around her. They had already eaten and despite her hunger, Ariana had only picked at the food.

Caelan and the others continued their discussion and she would have ignored them if she hadn't heard a word she recognized. A word that made whatever was moving under her skin pulse and surge more violently. Anar.

"What are you talking about?" she asked blankly and Caelan met her stare.

"We’re talking about your powers. And what happened. Perhaps most importantly, why."

"I don't want any powers," Ariana replied, turning towards the fire again. The truth was that it scared the hell out of her, the creeping sensation in her body and the memory of the explosion, of the feeling of being completely out of control when everything had gone to hell.

"You're the new Anar," Tristan said, seemingly unbothered by her mood. "You can't opt out."

"I'm not a bearer of great power," she replied, as monotone as before. And it was true, because how could she be? She had never even been able to light a candle in her entire life and the bearer, Anar, was meant to be the most powerful conjurer to walk the earth.

"What you did in Niva is more than proof of that," Caelan said. "The surge of power you sent out... You destroyed half of Niva. None of your power felt even close to anything I've encountered before, it was incredible."

Ariana was almost irritated by his choice of words, but only almost. She didn't have the energy to produce the feeling of anger.

"It also explains why the king persuaded Virion to take a human as his wife, despite his previous attitude," Tristan agreed, and Caelan nodded.

"There hasn't been a bearer for thousands of years," Ariana argued. "Even if all of this were true, how would the king have known? How would he know who it was?"

"The king is old, he has had a long time to research the matter," Caelan replied. "He has probably traced the bloodline through several families and finally managed to find out who is carrying the gift."

"But the king was wrong," she objected. "Virion was supposed to marry Lucille, and she is not a bearer. You are all wrong."

"The king was mistaken," said Dominik, and they all looked sternly at her.

“You're wrong, " Ariana repeated. "Virion told me, I have read about it. There have been no other bearers since Kallas Bloodbringer, he died without heirs. The line is broken, this is just something else."

"Without official heirs," Dominik grunted. "It is terribly easy for a male to bring children into the world, whether he is married or not. Especially since you humans can multiply like rabbits."

Aliette punched him in the side and he gave Ariana an apologetic look. She didn't smile back.

"You are wrong," she repeated, watching out of the corner of her eye as Caelan gave the others warning glares. A moment of silence passed and only the crackling fire was heard, before Tristan spoke again.

"So, we have to get to Ennetèa the old-fashioned way. We're a week, maybe two, from the border between Niva and Camar. We know that probably half of Niva's forces are out in the territories looking for us, for Ariana. So how do we avoid detection? It's a long way to travel and a human is pretty easy to spot."

"I've already thought about it," Caelan said, and Ariana looked up at him, at his taunting smile. But she couldn't bring herself to feel any interest in his plan. They could do what they wanted; she didn’t care.

He made a vague gesture with one hand and the air was filled with a soft, ringing sound. It warmed her neck and scalp, her ears, and stared at him in growing suspicion.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not able to hide the tang of fear in her voice.

"I'm making you a bit more invisible," he replied, before the sound and heat disappeared.

Ariana looked at her hands but they hadn’t changed. She surveyed Caelan again.

"I prefer your natural color," he said with a faint smile. "But it will have to do."

Tristan pulled a shard of mirror out of thin air and handed it to her, and Ariana studied her reflection. Her copper red hair was now as black as night and... she gasped and swore. Her ears were longer and pointed. Terrified, she touched them, following the rounded edge of the ear, but it didn't feel any different, neither longer nor more pointed.

"It's just an illusion," Caelan said, examining her. "Nothing permanent, I promise."

CHAPTER 3

T hey rode, and the next few days followed the same pattern. Ariana sat on her horse, silent and dazed, her head spinning with everything that had happened.

Virion's face danced in her mind, his voice and his words. Her emotions raged through her, oscillating between utter despair and deep, pulsating hatred. Try as she might, she could not force her mind away from Virion, from what he had done. The memory of him, of their time together, mixed with the echo of the words he had spoken in Niva. It left her completely shattered.

She answered briefly when the others addressed her, but she didn't have it in her to join the conversations in the evenings, to sit with them by the fire. As soon as Tristan had made camp, as soon as they had eaten, she had gone to her tent. Her dreams were haunted by him, by Virion, and Ariana woke up several times every night, crying and screaming. She missed the smell of him, the sound of his voice when it was soft and gentle, the feel of his lips against hers. But she knew she couldn't go back, couldn't risk him letting the king use her to get to her family. Could not forgive Virion for what he had done.

The only sober thought in her head was that she must send word to her family, must warn them, before it was too late.

"Do you want to sit with us for a while?" Aliette asked, just as she had done every night for the past week.

"No, thank you."

The night was dark and chilly around them, and Ariana could feel the ringing of the forest life, the presence of creatures that lingered close, watching them. As far as she was concerned, they might as well come. It wasn't like she had anything left to fight for.

§

A few days later, on a particularly chilly morning, Ariana woke up early. Exhausted, she rose to sitting in her blankets, more tired than she had been when she went to bed. She gazed to the side where Aliette was still resting in a deep sleep. Carefully, Ariana crept up, untangled herself from the heavy blankets and made her way out of the tent. A thin layer of frost covered the ground, and the pale morning sun made the surroundings sparkle. The air was cool, but not the biting winter cold that had surrounded them for so long. It was early spring, and Ariana took a few steps around their makeshift camp. The fire was out and no one was on guard, and her eyes darted around the clearing. Just as she decided to peek inside the male's tent, she heard the soft thud of paws on the frozen ground, and she turned around. The black wolf, Caelan, padded through the trees with his bright eyes fixed on her. Ariana watched him as thundering emotions roared through her. He, the wolf, who had been her friend during countless lonely hours in Aeros. Who had kept her company, who had played with her in the park. When she thought she would live her life as Lady of Aeros, as Virion's wife. Through better or worse. She sighed deeply and went to sit down on one of the logs they had hauled to the fireplace, and instead of shifting, Caelan trotted up to her. He sat down on his haunches and watched her, unblinking. His gaze was so piercing, sent so many memories and emotions through her that she gritted her teeth and held back her tears. He tilted his head and she sighed again, running her hand over her eyes. Ariana said nothing, remaining silent, and Caelan lay down on the ground in front of her. He stayed there, keeping her company as he had done so many times before, before the sun slowly rose and the others finally woke up.

§

After a full day of riding, when they had camped and eaten their simple dinner, Ariana hesitated. She had started walking towards the tent but stopped. She looked towards it, still so furiously tired, but with some uncertainty she turned around and went back to the fire where the others were chatting.

"May I sit with you?" she asked and they all looked at her in surprise. Then Dominik and Aliette each broke into wide smiles.

"Of course," said Dominik. "We were going to make a pot of tea; would you like some?"

Ariana nodded and sat down, and Caelan observed her but said nothing. The others continued talking about the spring equinox, she realized, which was only a week away.

"I'll never forget when you got pissed drunk and tripped over the ropes to the party pavilion," Aliette laughed and Dominik smiled sheepishly. "Conall got buried under the damned tent, I thought he was going to strangle you with the ropes."

Tristan gave a low chuckle and Caelan grinned.

"It must have been... what, twenty years ago?" Dominik replied. "I can't remember the last time we were all at home celebrating zindra together."

"The last time we celebrated anything was zylphir, four years ago," Aliette agreed. "In Vorese, right?"

Dominik nodded and grinned widely. "Isn't that when you bedded that woman, Caelan? The one who was half elf, half siren?"

"Don't remind me," Caelan muttered, and the others laughed at the memory.

"You were hypnotized for a week afterwards," Tristan chuckled, and Caelan shook his head, sighing.

"The last time I ever went to bed with someone who is half creature."

Ariana kept up with the conversation, trying to muster as much interest as she could. She hadn't known that creatures and fae could have children, but the revelation didn't fill her with any particular surprise.

"How did you celebrate zylphir in Anarosa?" Tristan asked, turning to her. Ariana hesitated, having no particularly fun memories to share. Nothing that would make them laugh heartily and make cheerful comments.

"We didn't do much," she finally said. "There were parties and lots of people, but nothing else. Just dancing and food."

It was a tame contribution to the conversation but it was the biggest effort she had made since they left Niva. But they all smiled widely at her, and then kept talking and laughing.

"Speaking of making a fool of yourself," Dominik said, grinning. "I seem to remember one time when you, Caelan, bragged to the whole company that you could easily make it all the way to the top of Sereg without any weapons."

"That's right," Allie smiled. "It turned into a really big deal, we started betting and everything. It was lucky for you that Conall just happened to send you on mission before it happened."

"We've all been young," Caelan laughed, throwing a pinecone into the fire. An echo of curiosity sparked in Ariana. "What is Sereg?"

"The Blood Mountain," Tristan explained. "It is Ennetèa’s northernmost and highest mountain. To get there, one must pass through the Black Pass, and before that, Sirbene, the Forest of Creatures. Such an ordeal would surely mean your death."

"Can't you just..." She made a vague gesture with her hand. "Conjure your way there? Open a portal?"

But Tristan shook his head. "The magic around the mountains of Ennetèa and around Sirbene is strange. Extremely potent but fickle. Maybe that's what makes the creatures thrive there, I don't know. But it is risky, and often not even possible to travel through those regions via portal. There are those who have tried, but they have ended up in very strange places. Completely different territories, sometimes continents. There is no law that forbids you to try, but it has become an unwritten rule that you don't do it."

"If you want to go, you have to walk," Allie agreed. "And it almost always means horrible, unavoidable death."

Dominik snickered and nudged Caelan in the side. "And you would do it just to lure a female to your bed!"

Caelan smile was smug, and he shook his head. Arianas heart ached a little when she saw them, as she sat with them by the fire. She had never had anyone who seemed to care for her in the way they all cared for each other, appreciated each other. No one except Miranda, and maybe Kaylenna. A jolt of longing went through her body and Ariana tried to push away thoughts of her friends, couldn't bear to think about them just yet. But these people around her... they were fighting to keep her safe, fighting to get her back on her feet. They had been doing it since they left Aerona together, and Caelan longer still. She swallowed and the thick, gray fog in her head seemed to move slightly but settled again, murky and dense.

§

When Dominik first suggested they take up training again one evening, Ariana's first instinct was to refuse.

He met her stare, sympathy gleaming in his eyes. "It helps. It's a good way to clear your mind."

She gave him a hesitant look, and Tristan nodded as he came over.

"It's good for your body and it's good for your mind," he agreed. "And it gives you an advantage that you'll probably need."

Because everyone is out to get me, Ariana thought with no small amount of bitterness. There might be something to their words, though she doubted it would make her feel any better. But she resigned and nodded, and Dominik's smile widened.

"Let's take it from the start. You know the easiest way to puncture someone, but actually fighting is a little different. We start with fists, but the basic position is the same. So go ahead, spread your feet."

Ariana stood as they had previously instructed her, but her knees felt weak and shaky. She still had a poor appetite and had perhaps not eaten as much as she should have.

"Relax your feet," Dominik instructed. "It's better to spread them too wide and feel steady."

"Then I'll be clumsy instead," she objected.

"Better slow with good balance," said Tristan. "Agility comes later."

She did as they said and widened her legs slightly. She stood firmer but felt awkward, but tried to ignore it and raised her hands, clenching her fists in front of her face. Dominik corrected her carefully, raising her hands slightly and grabbing her wrist.

"Straight, strong wrists. If you are sloppy, you are more likely to hurt yourself than your opponent. If you hold your hand at this angle, you will break your wrist when you punch, and that hurts more than you think. There won't be much fighting after that."

Ariana nodded and tried to do as he said, throwing a few tentative punches in the air. Dominik watched her every move.

"When you punch, it is important to strike from the opposite leg. Take the strength from the whole body, not just the arm," he instructed. He demonstrated with a slow movement, rotating his upper body while extending his arm in front of him. Ariana tried to mimic him as best she could.

"Good, again," Dominik said and she continued.

They practiced the basics, doing the movements slowly, with Dominik and Tristan correcting her when necessary. She followed their instructions, tried both sides, and after half an hour, Dominik nodded in satisfaction.

"Good, now try it against Tristan."

Tristan came forward and put his palms up in front of her. He didn’t use anything to protect himself, as he hardly needed anything against her feeble, human punches.

"Right," Dominik said, and Ariana obeyed. The movement felt stiff and slow, and Tristan took the blow with his palm.

"More rotation," Dominik ordered, and she tried again. He corrected and she tried, repeatedly. It wasn’t long before she was panting, shifting between her right and left arm until he was satisfied, before he ordered her to strike from below and then sideways. Sweat beaded on her forehead, but Ariana continued and was amazed at how good it felt. She poured her frustration and emotions into the blows as her previous training slowly receded, and she became increasingly confident. Dominik praised her when she got it right and she continued. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Caelan and Aliette watching them, but she focused on Tristan's palms, gasping between clenched teeth and struggled on.

"Good," Dominik said after they had been at it for over an hour. "You don't seem completely useless after all."

Ariana glared at him as she lowered her violently shaking hands, but he just grinned at her.

"Now that you're warmed up, you can take out your daggers," he continued, and she winced.

"Aren't we done for the day?" Ariana asked with a whiny undertone, and he laughed.

"We’ve just started," he said. "Take five minutes and then we'll go again."

Caelan stepped forward and gave her a large cup of water, and Ariana drank deep. She handed it back to him and he took it without a word. She wiped her mouth and tried to catch her breath, trying to stop the lactic acid from spreading through her tired legs.

"Ready?" Dominik asked all too soon, and despite feeling like she was going to collapse, she nodded. She pulled two daggers from her belt, still heavy and unfamiliar in her grip, before they continued.

Dominik pushed her mercilessly, and another hour later she was so exhausted that she devoured her dinner before collapsing inside the tent. Maybe the grief hadn't eased, maybe the pain was still there. But that night Ariana slept peacefully, undisturbed by dreams, and woke up refreshed the next morning.

§

It took them another week before they saw a glimpse of any further settlement. Camar's territory was further north than Aero's, and winter's grip on the land was just beginning to loosen. The plains were gray-brown and pale, unappealing and glum. Gradually they began to pass through villages large and small, and while some nights were spent at inns, some were spent in the forest. They rode and rode and rode, and thanks to the constant physical activity, Ariana had had to start eating again, as she barely managed to stand up in the evenings. With the training and eating, she slowly started to come back.

The others hadn't talked any more about her heritage, that she was supposedly the new Anar, but Caelan had hinted several times that she should test her abilities. She had ignored him, and refused to even respond to his suggestions. She had no desire to unleash the drumming power, to lose control as she had in Niva. She didn't want the power and she wasn't going to use it.

The physical exercise helped, however, if only to chase away the grief and anxiety, the thoughts of Virion that haunted her day and night. Worst of all, she missed him so much that at times she felt like she was going insane, while at the same time she felt a burning hatred for him, for what he had done. Even though she still loved him for what she knew he could be.

So instead, Ariana practiced, night after night, with the daggers that were hidden under her clothes. She was improving, but it was evident that she was not a natural born fighter like Dominik, or Aliette. When she said as much one evening, Aliette laughed.

"I didn't learn to fight until I was adult, and older still. I have had as sheltered a childhood as you, and I became a soldier in the end. Hard work and persistence, and training, and anyone can master their abilities."

It was not without Ariana noticing the double meaning of her friend's words, and she gave Aliette a reproachful glare.

"I'm not going to use my powers," she said.

"I didn't say anything about your powers," Aliette replied calmly. "Redo the lunge, put a little more weight on your right foot and twist your arm before the actual strike."

As they sat by the fire after the simple dinner, Ariana almost dozed off. Caelan came and sat next to her and she shifted a little.

"Am I that terrifying, that you can't even sit next to me?" he asked with a grin. She knew what he was doing, that he was trying to tease her like he always did, that he was trying to get her out of the grey fog that still held her in a tight grip.

"No," was all she could think to say, and he looked at her for a long while with fire dancing in his golden, unreadable eyes.

CHAPTER 4

T he days passed slowly and the nights were worse still. The nightmares, though calmed, refused to fully release their grip on Ariana, who too often found herself writhing in the blankets, sweaty and with a pounding heart. Even though the exercise helped, even though she was getting more sleep than before, her nights were often restless and tiring. One night, when she couldn't stand it anymore, when she couldn't close her eyes without memories of Niva flooding her mind, without the sounds of the explosion making her tremble with fear, she gave up and stepped out of the tent. The night was cool and the stars twinkled between the trees above her. It was a beautiful night, and she couldn't help but wonder if Virion was asleep. If perhaps he too was plagued by nightmares, if he too spent the night gazing at the stars.

Ariana walked over to the fire that was still burning, to Caelan who was alone on watch. She sat down a bit away from him, pulled her knees close to her chest and gazed into the soft, crackling flames.

"Can’t sleep?" he asked after a while and she nodded.

"Nightmares," she said, and he pursed his lips in understanding.

"I know how it feels," he said, poking the burning logs with a stick.

"What are your nightmares about?" she asked and he looked up at the stars.

"It's different. There are many aspects of my life that haunt me. I've been alive for some time and I've been collecting my demons."

"Like what?"

"I'm afraid you'd think rather ill of me if you knew," he said, then smiled teasingly at her. "Assuming you don't already, of course." She didn't respond to his comment, didn't have a snappy answer to give, and he sighed. "It may not be of much help right now, but you will get over this. It may never leave you; you will carry it with you for the rest of your life, but after a while it will lose its sharpness. Eventually it fades away and ends up in the periphery. It's still there, but it's more like dirt in the eye. Annoying, but you can still function."

"I'm human," she objected, feeling like she was forever doomed to remain an empty shell, a shadow of her former self.

"You are strong. And more stubborn than many fae I have known. You will get over it and you will make it to the other side."

Ariana felt her shoulders drop. "I am not strong. I am nothing. I'm just a weak, gullible idiot who sticks her nose in other people’s business."

The look Caelan gave her was grave. "That's not true and you know it. The human who sneaked off to the temple, the one who went after her friend during the attack. The one who was willing to sacrifice her life to save an innocent child, she's still in there."

"All those things almost got me killed," she pointed out with some bitterness. "And all that put wedges between me and Virion, that I disobeyed him. That I refused to listen to him."

Caelan's eyes glittered in the firelight and his gaze on her was steady. "But you did what not many others are capable of. You stood up for what was important, you listened to yourself and took risks for what you believed was right." Ariana looked at him, doubt filling her chest, and his eyes hardened. "You obey no one. Virion was not your master, your lord. He was your fiancé and he failed in one of the vital aspects of a relationship. He never saw you as an equal, and that was his biggest mistake."

"Because you say I am Anar? He couldn't possibly have known that."

But Caelan shook his head. "Not because you are Anar. Because that's what you do when you love someone. You listen to them."

She sighed deeply, her chest heaving.

"I wish you could see yourself from my eyes," he said with a smile. "From those of the others. Then you would never doubt yourself."

Ariana didn't know how much she believed that, but it still gave her some hope. A pitiful and vague one, but still. It was better than nothing.

§

Caelan pawed through the forest. In wolf form, his senses were exceptionally enhanced, and even though he was miles from the makeshift camp, he could hear the echo of his friends' voices carried on the soft evening wind. The forest was quiet but not still. His keen eyes noted nimble dryads hiding in the trees, shadow cats gliding through the vegetation on silent pads. He heard the distant cackling of a flock of harpies, and a small family of goblins hastily hid when they saw him. The forest smelled sharply of mud and dirt, vaguely mixed with the metallic scent of blood. Old tracks, the memory of many hunts, occasional fae falling prey to creatures and wild animals.

But no bruxas, no quasins or hanako. No ilinites or wyverns. The most bloodthirsty of creatures seemed to be nowhere in his immediate vicinity and that was a relief.

A hare jumped out of a thicket in a panic, and although Caelan's instincts made his body twitch, he did not follow. Tristan was probably making dinner and he was tired. Much more so than he would like to admit. So he let the hare go and turned back towards the camp, stretched his body and ran through the whispering forest. As a wolf, he could run for days, weeks, without getting worn out. The feeling was as intoxicating as ever, and he let his body work on its own, letting his claws grip the cold ground with each leap, letting his joints contract smoothly and then stretch out again. It was better than flying, running like a wolf. There was no time in his life when he felt so light, so free.

He slowed down just before reaching the camp, crept towards the light of the fire and reluctantly shifted when his companions came into view.

They were sitting by the fire and had already started eating. Ariana looked sweaty and rosy thanks to another training session with Dominik and Allie. Her eyes were still hopeless and her shoulders still slumped. It was obvious that she was still burdened by everything that had happened, that she was still mourning Virion's betrayal, and it stung him, but he couldn't blame her. Whatever he thought of Virion, she had loved him, still did, no matter how little he deserved it.

Caelan made sure to look unconcerned as he walked over to the fire and sat down next to Tristan, who wordlessly handed him a plate of fried mushrooms, some steaming vegetables, and a piece of salted meat. Caelan grimaced. Maybe he should have gotten that hare after all.

"Nothing in the forest?" Tristan asked and Caelan shook his head as he dug into his food.

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

The food didn't taste bad, even if it was dry. Tristan had a knack for making even the simplest meal flavorful and spicy. They all ate in relaxed silence and Caelan's eyes fell on Ariana again. She sat across from him, the fire casting long shadows across her ravaged face. The dark hair, the illusion he kept spun around her, made her look paler than she really was. But at least she was talking now, and the training seemed to help. She was no longer a wandering ghost, and that gave him a little bit of hope.

"I'd kill for a bath," Allie said after setting down her wooden plate on the ground. "I can't remember the last time I smelled this bad."

"You smell like you usually do?" Dominik grinned and Allie glared at him. Ariana chuckled almost imperceptibly.

"You'll have to wash yourself in the stream," Caelan said, swallowing the last of the vegetables. "It's better than nothing."

"But it's so cold," Allie whined and he laughed softly. Some things never changed.

"I’ll go with you," Ariana said. "I could use a little freshening up, too."

And as if on cue, her scent hit him. It mingled with the scent of dirt and sweat, but she never smelled bad. Caelan wasn't sure if she even had the ability.

"Or don't," he teased, trying to shake her scent from his nose. "Who knows, maybe it's because of you that all the creatures stay away."

Ariana gave him an irritated glance, but Dominik laughed.

"You could use a bath yourself," Ariana said with a snort. "Or maybe not. If we run into a quasin, it might think you're one of them."

Tristan coughed and Dominik's laughter grew louder. Caelan felt his smile widen, the relief spreading through his chest. If she started teasing him again, picking on and provoking him, it was a good sign. A glimpse of her former self.

"We'll go to the creek in the morning," Allie said. "It's best if we stay together at night."

Ariana nodded and then stood.

"I'm going to bed," she said, looking truly exhausted. "See you tomorrow."

And so she left them, crawling into the tent, and Caelan could hear her settling into the blankets. He sighed and threw a log onto the fire, but looked up when he felt Allie's burning gaze.

"What?" he asked, a little too defensive.

She didn't answer, just kept looking at him for a long while. The fire crackled and the forest rustled around them, and after a while Tristan pulled his lute out of thin air. He plucked the strings softly, coaxing out a quiet, wistful melody with nimble fingers. The music filled the air and Caelan enjoyed it, closing his eyes and letting it surround him.

As the evening turned to night, the notes from the lute climbed up between the treetops, and for a moment he managed to forget everything else around them.

§

When they arrived in Camriel, the capital of Camar, almost four weeks after leaving the inn they had gathered at, Caelan realized that the situation was far worse than he had previously believed. At the massive city gates were at least fifty soldiers, clad in the distinctive armor of Niva, and they were not letting anyone pass without what appeared to be a thorough interrogation.

"Let's turn around," Dominik muttered as they got into the crowd in front of the city.