Alcohol addicted or not addicted, that is the question. E-Book

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 157

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

The author is a self-help author who has been on the road to recovery from alcoholism. All you need to stop drinking is a strong will and some important information about addiction. This book contains the condensed knowledge of a "dry" alcoholic and it describes how addiction works and how to stop it. The secret to success is simple to understand and implement. The only thing you need to accept is the following: Alcohol addiction is a disease that cannot be cured! However, you must not use it as an alibi. Never believe in controlled drinking. If you feel the need to control something, you will be controlled by something. Also, do not switch to non-alcoholic beer, wine, etc., as this will not change your behavior pattern, but will continue to reinforce it. Sooner or later, this ends up back in alcoholic beverages. Think about it!

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

OUR IMAGE OF THE "REAL" ALCOHOLIC

ALCOHOL AND ITS PLACE VALUE

ALCOHOL AS A MEANS TO AN END WHY DO I DRINK?

ALCOHOL, THE SOCIAL DRUG

ALCOHOL - THE MEANS TO AN END?

TWO TYPES OF DEPENDENCE

NEVER AGAIN ALCOHOL

THE SEARCH AND ITS OFFERS

THE FLIGHT FORWARD

JUST STOPPING DRINKING IS NOT ENOUGH!

ALCOHOLICS ARE THE BEST ACTORS

SECRETLY UNCANNY

THE ROLE OF THE CO-ALCOHOLIC

LIFE BECOMES TORTURE

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE

THE DEPARTURE

THE PHASE OF THE CONTROLLED USE OF ALCOHOL

PHASES OF DROUGHT

THE RECEPTION

THE AWAKENING

THE SEARCH FOR HELP

THE ABSOLUTE SURRENDER

THE THERAPY

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STAYING DRY AND BEING DRY

WITHOUT A STRONG WILL, IT WON'T WORK - BUT THE WILL ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH!

THE SATISFACTION

THE PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES

THE INCONVENIENT MAN

FOREWORD

There were times when I liked to drink. Parties, exuberance, happiness, fun and sex. Then there were times of anxiety, inadequacy and depression. I hated drinking and thought I was too weak to give it up. So I kept drinking, stumbling from one excess to the next, while the periods of sobriety became more and more remorseful and painful.

The hours I missed at work piled up. I was often sick and unable to do regular work. Yet I was able to keep my addiction a secret. What a feat.

The real problem with alcoholism, as I see it, is this:

The addictive substance is freely available, and more importantly, almost everywhere. It is relatively cheap, and almost everyone uses it. And with this amount of consumers, the individual is really lost. So it is hard to tell who has an addiction problem and who does not.

Of course I know that not everyone who drinks alcohol is a "drinker". I also have no interest in labeling everyone an alcoholic just because I have an addiction problem and don't want to be alone with it.

My desire is to show people that they are not alone and that addiction can even bring them many positive insights that they could never experience without the alcohol problem. The person who is in the middle of it may not be able to understand at the moment that there are some positive aspects hidden in the addiction, but it is exactly this realization that is the way out in the end.

One thing I am sure of is that the line between "normal" drinking and "addictive" drinking is not always clear. That is the great danger: we do not feel when we cross the invisible line. That's why the examples in this book show the first signs of "addictive drinking," which sooner or later ends in addiction.

Group discussions, therapies and personal experiences with addiction give a realistic background to the content.

Alcohol abuse is a very serious subject, but I also want to show the reader that abstinence can have many positive aspects, once you have changed your attitude. People who live with an alcoholic and do not have a problem with alcohol themselves will also get suggestions on how they can behave better in the future, in order to be helpful to their addicted partner and, above all, to be able to cope with their partner's addiction more easily.

Alcoholism is a widespread disease and yet relatively unexplored from a medical point of view. My book is not a theoretical or scientific treatise, but a practical guide that describes the disease from the perspective of "ex-alcoholics" (Note: I have used the term "EX-alcoholic" only for the sake of simplicity. Actually, it should not be used, because ex-alcoholics do not exist in the strict sense of the word. Once an alcoholic - always an alcoholic. One merely changes one's state; one is either "wet" or "dry. Further definitions will follow elsewhere) will be explained in more detail and ways out will be shown to those affected. First and foremost, I want to give you the opportunity to make peace. Make peace with what was, with your family, with society, and last but not least, make peace with your deepest inner self, your soul.

There is definitely no pill that cures addiction, even though the pharmaceutical industry has often published euphoric success stories in the past. Alcoholism is a disease that can be treated and recognized as such, but it cannot be cured. This is probably why we are so afraid of it and its consequences. And it is this fear that I want to take away. Alcoholism is indeed incurable, but you can stop it at any time.

Even though it is officially a disease, I prefer not to call it a disease. Anyone who has stopped drinking and has been sober for a long time will tell you that you don't feel sick at all once you start on the road to sobriety. On the contrary, undreamt-of powers and previously "drowned" sensations return, making life worth living again. Disease only slumbers within us as long as we do not give it permission to become active again. It is only a question of whether we give it power over us or not.

So one thing is very clear: "Without a firm will, it does not work. But will alone is not enough.

A strong will usually comes from a strong ego. And unfortunately, the ego is often the reason for every failure, in every situation in life. Actions initiated by the ego usually end in disaster. Therefore, it is imperative that you first get to the bottom of your ego before you can successfully overcome your alcohol problem.

And to understand how the ego works, you must first acknowledge that you have one, and then recognize when it is currently influencing your actions and thoughts. Only when we know that the ego is the source of our beliefs can we take countermeasures. That is why I devote an entire chapter at the end of the book to this topic. Take the time to understand yourself and your inner processes and patterns, for with your deep understanding of your uniqueness you will solve all problems with ease.

But first, learn what's behind alcoholism, what causes it, and what are the ways out. Make this formula your tool:

If you want to live a happy life, it will be helpful for you to learn that taking back the power over your own life is inevitable.

However, you will only succeed in this conquest if you stop blaming other people, situations, experiences, and circumstances for your perceived failures. For first of all, there is no such thing as guilt, only responsibility, and consequently there is no such thing as failure, only results.

And results are the result of intentions, whether conscious or unconscious. Only our judgments, whether negative or positive, make a result a failure or a success.

The fatal thing about giving away guilt is that I also give away my power. Guilt and power are so intertwined that we do not perceive them as two separate things. We believe that if someone else is to blame for something, we are innocent. The true conclusion, however, is that when we give away the blame, we also give away the responsibility and the power. Because to whom I give the blame, I also give the power.

Please think about this.

So if someone else has the power, you are powerless at his mercy. You have no control over your own destiny. People who blame others for their failures are like rebellious children: "It's not my fault, he started it," or "If you weren't so bad-tempered all the time, I wouldn't have to go to the pub. If you want to take control of your problems, you must learn to take full responsibility for your life. No one but yourself can change anything in your life.

Consider the following testimonials and insights as useful tools that will put the power of your will on the right track right from the start on the road to a happy, "sober" future.

Nothing is more important than your personal well-being.

Only when you are able to enjoy a life without alcohol will you stay sober and healthy. As long as you mourn the "good times," you will keep your old patterns alive.

Since we naturally struggle with the "long, rocky road," don't think of your efforts as a sacrifice that your family and society are asking you to make in order to make your life miserable, but rather as a unique opportunity to give your life a new, positive meaning.

Of course, in order to truly learn from the experiences you have described, you must be completely honest. By honesty, I mean your sober recognition that you have a problem with alcohol. Only you can decide if it is time to accept help.

First of all, this book offers you the opportunity to open up to your problem on your own. If you do not find all the answers to your questions in this book, you should seek out experienced people with whom you can work together on a long-term basis.

Even a skydiver can't just strap on a parachute and jump out of a plane. He must first take courses that teach him the necessary basic skills so that his first jump is not his last.

As you can imagine, a basic course and a jump are not enough to survive future jumps. This requires constant practice.

Consider reading this as your own personal basic course, and then get the other practical "training" by attending a regular group, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Blue Cross, etc.

I can promise you one thing right now. You will be surprised at how many "normal" people you will meet.

You will always be understood and taken seriously. Because these people have gone through the same thing that is happening to you or may happen to you. Soon you will find out that you are not alone with your problems and that there are thousands of possible solutions.

Even if you feel queasy at first about exposing yourself to other people, don't lose sight of your goal and jump over your shadow.

There may not be many opportunities to do so.

Think of the happy years ahead of you and never forget what alcohol has done to you in the past and what the consequences of "continuing to drink" would be for you.

Don't be discouraged by statistics that say only a small percentage of addicts make it to sobriety.

From my own group experience, I can assure you that almost all of the people I met in the group at the beginning of my dry season are still enjoying it. So I can contradict all the official statistics:

"95% of energetic addicts remain permanently sober".

This very positive result helps much more than any impersonal, factual statistic.

By the way, a lofty goal is easier to achieve if you focus on each step. Each small step takes us further, even if it seems tiny and insignificant compared to the distance ahead.

Almost without exception, mountaineers talk about the exertion that each climb brings. They also say that they do not constantly stare at the summit during the ascent, because the constant awareness of the distance still to be covered is more paralyzing than stimulating, because a great goal inspires great awe on closer inspection. It shows one more than clearly how small one is at the moment. That is why the climber concentrates on every single step. Of course, the goal is indispensable, for why else would he take the many small steps if he did not know where they would lead him? So the goal serves as a target. It gives a clear direction. The individual steps each represent their own small stage goal, which has a less awe-inspiring effect on us and is therefore grasped by our mind as easy to achieve. A small step is easy. Anyone can do it. But it is in the sum of these small steps that the success, the great goal, which before seemed almost unattainable, is achieved.

In this way, the mountaineer climbs the mountain step by step until he can finally enjoy the overwhelming view.

For an alcoholic, every day he doesn't drink is a success. In sports, success is rewarded with medals. So let yourself receive a medal every day. It's up to you to decide what that medal should look like, just be careful not to get into another addiction. If you always reward your achievements with a bar of chocolate, you can expect even worse problems.

For example, a good recognition is an open look in the mirror. Look deeply into your eyes and maintain eye contact. Be proud of your accomplishment. Observe the returning clarity of your eyes and mind. Look forward to regaining your confidence and drive.

Always remember the mountaineer: "A clearly defined goal is important. But it is more important to take the first, decisive step. And to repeat that step every day with determination.

Sincerely.

Adam S. Falkensteiner

INTRODUCTION

Officially, there are about 1.8 million alcoholics living in Germany. This is an impressive number. Of course, the number of unreported cases is many times higher. But one thing surprises me: If we had 1.8 million AIDS cases every year, wouldn't the entire population be on high alert? But with the high number of alcoholics, the public seems to be completely unconcerned. Why do you think that is?

If you walk through the world with your eyes open, you quickly realize that the course for addiction is set in the schoolyard.

No wonder when you look at the role models of our young people. All of us, and I am no exception, are too careless with the "drug" alcohol. In every Hollywood movie, the heroes drink to wash down their frustrations or to celebrate their successes.

Alcoholism does not stop at any social class. Drinking takes place in almost every household. Rich or poor. While the type and quality of alcoholic beverages may differ, the consequences remain the same. Even the reasons why people reach for the bottle are often similar.

In a high-tech, fast-paced time like ours, we often feel overwhelmed. Doctors' and therapists' offices are overflowing with patients suffering from neurological overload. Burnout is the most common diagnosis of the computer age.

Indeed, the flood of information to be processed continues to grow. Overstimulation, existential anxiety, and the fear of being ill-equipped for the times to come due to a lack of education are affecting people. The times when several generations could benefit from building up their parents' business are over. Many small businesses are forced to close their doors due to fierce competition. Nothing seems to last. Before our very eyes, we are witnessing the disintegration of old, cherished values.

Change is the new consistency, get used to it. Not to do so would be fatal.

When development was even slower, people had more time to adapt to the coming changes.

Today, when you return from a two-week vacation, you may not find your desk. Instead, there will be a computer with a silicon chip brain that is far more powerful than the entire workforce. Throw in some political unrest, and the world may seem completely out of whack. Who is going to help us, and where will the help come from?

Unfortunately, more and more often from the pharmaceutical industry in the form of tranquilizers and mostly from breweries, disguised as a healthy specialty from the heart of nature.

Such promising advertising slogans are balm for our tortured souls. How much we long for the purity of nature and our original desire to belong in the face of all the pollution.

The longing for these supposedly "natural products" is now so great in Germany that we far exceed all neighboring countries in alcohol consumption. Allow me to use a casual expression, but we "drink up" Lake Constance every year.

But this kind of competition should not fill us with pride, but rather make us think. Something seems to be vehemently wrong. The fact that beer is still considered a food by the majority of the population shows how little we know about the dangers of this national drink. Of course, beer is just a placeholder, it does not matter what we drink - beer, wine, champagne or spirits - the consequences remain the same. We are much more careful when it comes to drugs on the market, such as cocaine and heroin.

If you feel bad, you'd rather have a glass of champagne than a needle, and you don't feel guilty about it.

Those who take this stuff are more likely to be considered addicts than those who wash down their daily frustrations with a well-kept pilsner in a cozy atmosphere.

Our consciousness does not easily cope with these hard drugs. They are unknown to us. And "what the farmer doesn't know..." well, you know. This should not cause you to gain experience in this area. We don't want to focus on the so called "hard drugs", but we want to focus on "good old alcohol" and the damage it does. Of course, we don't want to admit the dangers, so we like to trivialize our consumption: "A little beer, a little wine, a little liquor". We also drink alcohol because we think it's part of life. A glass of wine with a good meal, a bottle of champagne on New Year's Eve, just like a Christmas tree is part of Christmas. For a healthy person, this is not a problem. For addicts, however, it can be a deadly trap. Our society has very clear ideas and demands. That's why we drink to be socially acceptable. But when we hit rock bottom, society wants nothing to do with us. Irony of fate. How many diseases are caused by excessive alcohol consumption, and in how many cases is alcohol consumption itself the disease?

I wrote this book for all those who are tired of suppressing the everyday worries and lies about alcohol. Drinking as such is only repression and offers no solution. It may seem that alcohol relieves suffering for the moment, but it causes much greater suffering in the long run. You will realize that the thoughtless handling of this wolf in sheep's clothing will paralyze our zest for life more than it will inspire it; in stark contrast to many advertising slogans.

Consumers are led to believe that a good sip is part of good manners.

We all just have to come back to our senses. Every low has an end, and getting over a low requires a clear mind.