Changing Perspective Changing Life E-Book

Dr. Nivedita Ganguli

• Herausgeber: V&S Publishers
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 130

Beschreibung

85 insightful and motivating true life episodes

Leseprobe

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© Copyright: ISBN 978-935-05722-9-0

DISCLAIMER

While every attempt has been made to provide accurate and timely information in this book, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, unintended omissions or commissions detected therein. The author and publisher make no representation or warranty with respect to the comprehensiveness or completeness of the contents provided.

All matters included have been simplified under professional guidance for general information only without any warranty for applicability on an individual. Any mention of an organization or a website in the book by way of citation or as a source of additional information doesn't imply the endorsement of the content either by the author or the publisher. It is possible that websites cited may have changed or removed between the time of editing and publishing the book.

Results from using the expert opinion in this book will be totally dependent on individual circumstances and factors beyond the control of the author and the publisher.

It makes sense to elicit advice from well informed sources before implementing the ideas given in the book. The reader assumes full responsibility for the consequences arising out from reading this book. For proper guidance, it is advisable to read the book under the watchful eyes of parents/guardian. The purchaser of this book assumes all responsibility for the use of given materials and information. The copyright of the entire content of this book rests with the author/publisher. Any infringement / transmission of the cover design, text or illustrations, in any form, by any means, by any entity will invite legal action and be responsible for consequences thereon.

CONTENTS

1. Power of service mentality

2. Some amount of fog is good

3. Something extra

4. Fulfilling a last wish

5. Throw ego down, or get drowned

6. See the game clearly

7. Train your mind

8. Coming out of comfort zone

9. Just bookish

10. Use what is useful

11. Magical power of appreciation

12. Power of emotional brain

13. Lost goal

14. Proving Vs Improving

15. Why did I think about Shoe?

16. Showing Vs Being the best

17. God’s presence

18. Today, Tomorrow and Day After Tomorrow

19. Powerful impact of habit

20. Mindset

21. Pain is good

22. End is important

23. Where are you

24. Hurdles

25. Effect of comparison

26. Mask

27. Change the chair

28. Conditional Vs Unconditional communication

29. Being in tune with one self

30. Power of similarity

31. No END

32. Real Present

33. Put down your dark goggles

34. Power of optionistic attitude

35. Power of hope and damage of hope manipulation

36. Thomas Edison also failed 1000 times

37. Sympathy seeker Vs Cure seeker

38. Effective Driving

39. Feeling Vs Showing

40. Patience Vs Tolerance

41. Weakness Vs Way for improvement

42. Similarity attracts

43. Principal with principles

44. Satisfaction dilemma

45. Laughing can be painful

46. Realistic optimism

47. Power of passionate work

48. Earning from learning

49. Magic of two ears

50. Mis-Take

51. Right spectacle

52. Magic of Enhancing of Self-Esteem

53. Not at the cost of mental peace

54. Judging and mis-judging

55. Fear – The worst enemy

56. Voices and Expressing Your Voice

57. Re-framing

58. Confidence Vs Over-confidence

59. Perfection is mere perception

60. Instruction not yet complete

61. Judgement – Are you empowered?

62. Intellectual EGO

63. Waiting for winning

64. Pattern of communication

65. Power of thought

66. SMS – Short Message Service or Shattered Mental Stability

67. Too much of everything is bad

68. Let them Get a Feel

69. Make over or take over

70. Service wins over knowledge

71. Change of focus

72. Active Vs Effective

73. Famous Vs Popular

74. Cut

75. Old is Gold

76. Power of self-control

77. Natural learning

78. Qualified but Unqualified to be Employed

79. Two people – One situation – Two responses

80. How actual is ‘actually’

81. Reject better than react

82. Loss of mobile or loss of self-esteem

83. Competition Vs Envy

84. Discomfort leads to satisfaction

85. Stretching the knowledge zone

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

At the outset, I would like to thank the supernatural power above us for providing me with so many amusements in the form of unexpected experiences in life. I would also thank the same supernatural power for giving me a variety of experiences in life, which at that time, I thought as near death-experience, but after going through them and came out gracefully, became my learning experiences.

For me, the most visible supernatural power is my parents. So, I would like to thank my parents from the core of my heart, for giving me such beautiful seed of positive and valuable thoughts which has now grown into a plant with fruits that I am able to pass on to the people around. Besides my parents, my son Hemang has always been a strong source of support for me. Probably, I am in the journey of becoming a better psychologist after I got a beautiful gift in the form of my son, Hemang.

I would also like to thank my friends who have stood by me. Although the list of my friends is a bit long, let me mention some of the names: Vibha, Anita, Rekha, Usha and Gagan. I would also like to thank Mrs. Prem Lata Garg who has been very active and accommodating in giving me so much of exposure and guided me to a variety of learning experiences.

I would also like to thank all my participants from all parts of India for giving me many experiences through varied interactions. I wish to extend my heartfelt thanks to my online clients who have taken the pain to be in continuous developmental mode through ‘online counselling’.

This book would not have taken this nice shape without V & S Publishers, for which I would like to thank Mr. Sahil Gupta for his tremendous faith in me as an author. My thanks also goes to my editor, Mr. Dibya and designer, Mr. Prosenjit for working with passion giving attractive touches to my expressions. I am sure, with the effort of each one of them this book is going to kindle a passion for life among readers.

PREFACE

One day I was sitting silently and a bit upset and anxious over lot of personal and professional pressures. I thought of giving a break to my worries by changing my focus into something that I love to do. But at that difficult moment, it was difficult for me to remember what I love to do.

In moments of difficulty we tend to get tensed and become anxious. In a difficult situation, we too become difficult. The result is:

This exactly was my state also.

All of a sudden, my eyes fell on my laptop lying at the corner as if it was urging me to open it. The laptop seemed to be one of my most important friends. I started surfing – started skimming through famous quotes. One quote by Denis Waitley caught my attention. It said, “View life as a continuous learning experience.” The quote kindled a spark in me. Immediately I queried myself, “What would this difficult situation teach me? What am I going to learn from such pressures?” And yes, my curiosity to learn from the situation increased. My anxiety vanished, as if I had been blessed with some magical power. It was like watching a movie and getting to know about its climax. The only difference was that as the movie was being made I wanted to create a ‘happy ending’. And to create this happy ending, my focus shifted from ‘anxiety’ to ‘handling’. It was a great experience. Within three days, I found that I could effectively manage everything around me. For me, life seemed manageable ever after.

The equation had changed for me now, as I understood the virtue of practising calmness in difficult situations. Finding solution to a situation with calmness became easy for me.

The equation changed to:

Thus, my journey of learning continued; I started searching for stories from my experiences, observations and interactions with various people.

It often happens that in the rush of our routine work, we miss out several important episodes in life. I have realised that the learning derived from each real life episode helps us deal with difficulties in a better way. Moreover, I have started seeing the events as if I am watching a movie intently, episode by episode, to find out what can I pick up from these episodes and tried to analyse those episodes to unravel the best and useful learning for all my dear readers.

Along with beautiful fairy tales, we need to have real-life episodic learning which can bring about change in our life. This book would certainly give you a new dimension to think and discover the real beauty of life. Life presents us with many episodes which intend to guide us and impart valuable learning. But we generally ignore them. From now on, I am sure you would also look at each of these episodes critically and absorb its message, and bring about a significant change in your life and help others also to change their approach towards life.

Writing this book itself made me a different person. Now I am feeling more mature in handling relationships, stronger in facing challenges of life, and efficient in dealing with myself and others. I am sure this book would be a ready reckoner for you too.

I would love to know if these episodes have created any difference in your life. If it does, I shall be happy to receive your mail at: [email protected].

—Dr. Nivedita Ganguli

POWER OF SERVICE MENTALITY

A friend of mine, Gagan Kaushal everyday takes a rickshaw to reach her workpl ace. It had become a routine that she would have a tough time in giving direction to the rickshaw puller. She tried to explain the route each day by way of instruction to the rickshaw puller – “Take from the side of Ashoka Niketan road,” and the rickshaw puller always used to take the rickshaw inside the Ashoka Niketan. “What the hell!” she used to think. Initially, she used to get angry on the rickshaw pullers internally but gradually the internal anger found expression by spilling it out. Her daughter Darika used to accompany her and witness this scene everyday. One day, Darika asked her mother, “Mamma, can I explain the route to the rickshaw puller?” Mamma said, “You can’t. Can’t you see how difficult it is for me!” Darika still requested. Mother finally yielded to the daughter’s request. Taking the responsibility Darika said, “Uncle, take through the service lane of Ashoka Niketan.” There was no confusion since then. They had peaceful journey thereafter.

IN A NUTSHELL

Preconceived notion of ‘I know it all’ can block us from receiving wonderful experiences. Even children can gift us with lot of learning experiences.

Choosing the right words is the first level of right communication. If we don’t, then the journey of misunderstanding starts and it would be a neveRight Communication → Enhanced Interpersonal Relation

In the above episode, there is mention of the word ‘service lane’. If we focus on the word ‘service lane’, we can link it to our ‘service mentality’. Service lane provides us with smooth walk; saves us from pressure of traffic. Similarly, service mentality saves us from pressure of work stress and gives us the magic of joyful living.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

We will receive not what we ideally wish for, but what we justlyearn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to ourservices.

–Earl Nightingale

SOME AMOUNT OF FOG IS GOOD

Delhi is famous for its fog in winters. It was 26 December ‘08. I was ready to go to office. As I opened the door, I was not able to take a single step forward. “Oh God! How can I go? It is so foggy!” a voice within me spoke. I was not able to see anything in front of me. But I had to go, as there was an urgent meeting. I have never experienced such a situation before and was being haunted by an unknown fear – “What will happen now?” I tried to gather courage from within and started the car. I was driving as slow as I could and tried motivating thoughts saying, “Many people are driving. If they can; I can also drive.” I was aware that the situation is different compared to other days. So, I need to change my response also to meet the situation. I needed to drive very slowly which I was doing; I also switched on my parking lights and headlights. I took every possible step to cope with the difficult situation. I admit that I was attacked by fear off and on. But I was also forcing my determination to be a close friend at this juncture. I proceeded towards my destination beating the fear within me. I reached office exactly on time. I patted myself, “Yes, I did it.”

I observed one more thing. As we were all driving very slowly with full caution, there was no accident.

IN A NUTSHELL

Facing the fear eradicates the fear permanently. The courage gained from overcoming fear gets translated into other areas of life also.

Change may make us uncomfortable as we have a tendency to remain hooked to our zone of comfort. Stretching our comfort zone would help us to deal with the discomfort and enhance our confidence to face difficulties.

When we are focused on a single view, we are less prone to commit accidents (mistakes). So, little bit of fog is good to create focus on what we do.

Many a time when we become unconsciously competent (complete habitual pattern of working), we tend to be overconfident. So, moderate conscious competence can create peak performance.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.

–Seneca

SOMETING EXTRA

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