Childhood memories and visions of the future E-Book

Andrea Gläser

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 174

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

"Our childhood is the foundation for our future life. It is the basis, so to speak, the runway into our future. But how long does it take before we can fly, and what factors influence our direction, our stopovers or crashes, and when do we take the wheel ourselves and determine the destination of our journey through life?" These questions are the starting point for Andrea Gläser's journey around the world, to gather a mosaic of diverse opinions and experiences on the topic of "childhood, the desire to have children and childless happiness". In numerous interviews, she asks how the imprints of our own childhood influence our future life, our expectations of society and our own desire to have children.

Leseprobe

Any inconsistencies in the text are due to the fact that it was translated using computer-aided technology for a company-wide study.

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Brief description

Ourre childhood is the foundation stone for our future life. It is the basis, the runway to our future, so to speak. But how long does it take before we can fly, and what factors influence our direction, our stopovers or crashes, and at what point do we take the wheel ourselves and determine the destination of our journey through life?

What prerequisites are essential to be prepared for life - is this even possible? And what influence does childhood have on the development of our personality, values and goals for our future?

A child on the shoulder of an adult sees more and further, recognizes things without prejudice and gives a smile even to apparent danger. Children enrich our lives with their light-heartedness and often astonishing, realistic logic.

But children mean responsibility, putting one's own needs aside, a reorganization of all previous priorities.

Opinions about "the desire to have children, happiness with children and happiness without children" change with the different phases of life. However, they should always be accepted by the social environment.

In my interviews, I asked people from all generations and different backgrounds about their childhood, their memories and their attitudes towards children.

At the same time, I did some research to see for myself how children are faring around the world. Of course, I am also familiar with reports and films on this topic. But on my travels to, supported by the interviews and the collection of facts, I gained a broader view of how our society treats children.

Foreword

Desire to have children and happiness

Do children make you happy?

What a question, you're thinking. And most of you are probably saying yes out loud. But do we condemn those who decide not to have children of their own? Unfortunately, this is a frequent topic of controversy in society. Although everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, it is often this opinion that is their downfall.

For most people, children are part of family planning. Again, this sounds very sober and the question arises as to whether the topic of "children" should be a basis for discussion or a private decision. In this case, the majority will tend towards "private".

But what is private these days? Even within the family circle, boundaries are often crossed and members are bombarded with questions about future plans in general and the desire to have children in particular.

If we look around us, we often find acquaintances with the same values. Children bring people together - and often exclude childless couples in the long term.

I myself have gone through a change and am of the opinion that children enrich life immensely, but that couples or singles can also have a fulfilling life without children.

It is important that people are honest with themselves alone and that no compromises are made in this respect in a partnership. After all, a compromise means coming together, abandoning one's own position and therefore giving up some of the demands made. But when it comes to the desire to have children, there is only a YES or a NO.

I myself have been involved in decision-making issues several times and have always tried to remain objective. Of course, this is all the more difficult when it involves people we know and like.

A couple of friends have been together for years, both are 30 years old. He's been my best friend since school. I got to know her when they both fell in love years ago. Now she revealed to him that she urgently wanted to have children. However, my boyfriend himself could well imagine a life without children. I didn't take a stance in the conversation, but I pointed out the seriousness of the issue. I asked how important the partnership was to him and how serious he was about never wanting children. If this is his top priority, the future-oriented basis of their relationship will change. In this case, the consequences would be entirely up to the two of you. There is no such thing as procrastination or maybe after a long-term relationship.

Because in the long term, the partnership would have lost its basis due to conflicting values. Today, they both have four children and are happy.

The topic of "children" is omnipresent. You are also familiar with the discussions between childless couples when it comes to decisions such as artificial insemination or adoption. Or the worldwide controversies surrounding the legalization of abortion laws. And everyone has an opinion on this. But this opinion does not apply to everyone. A person's private background and history shape their individual views and attitude to life with regard to ethics and morals. Added to this are social demands and constantly changing situations.

Opinions on and understanding of a topic can be changed. But this change in thinking must come from our own realization. We can't convert anyone, we can only accompany them with regard to the situation.

If we accept the decision, it doesn't mean that we tolerate it, but we stand by the person at our side.The consequence would be that the relationship is not stable and we part ways. Repeated accusations or new discussions on the same topic wear us down and also lead to a break-up in the long term.

What is my conclusion on this topic?

Well, children enrich life immensely. My daughter has taught me a new way of loving and I am still learning to look at things from a different perspective and rethink my opinion on some things. My daughter taught me not to bend over backwards for a handful of friends when you feel more comfortable alone.

But we gain all knowledge through conscious interaction with the people around us, in our daily lives and through our willingness to learn.

The topic of "children" will always be topical and vital, because they sustain life and reflect innocence, joy and ultimately our society. But at the same time, it is also a very private topic. Because adoption, surrogacy or even abortions are always based on decisions that I have not yet had to make. And this needs to be considered.

So we stand by our opinions and tolerate those of others without necessarily having to accept them.

We stand by our partners, friends and closest confidants and try to get a feel for how the person in question feels about their decision. We should use this objectivity to ask the right questions without manipulating.

Because whether a couple has children or not says nothing about the person. We get to know and like a person for their own sake.

Whether partner, child or friend - people accompany us for a long time in our lives with their creativity, their aura and their daily presence. And just because we have a different view on the subject of "children", should this person no longer be important to me?

Well, this is also a very private decision and needs to be considered. However, the degree of attachment and values also play a major role here. Ultimately, I wish you a happy time, with or without children. Listen to your inner voice and stay true to yourself. Your heart and your mind will not always agree. But whatever you decide is right.

Facts and figures

Children worldwide

Around 2.35 billion children between the ages of 0 and 17 live in the world. Of these, around 385 million* are affected by extreme poverty and 160 million** children worldwide are considered child laborers.

If we look at the last two figures in a table comparing the five continents and New Zealand, it is not only the developing countries that show alarming conditions.

* https://www.unicef.ch/de/aktuell/news/2016-10-04/fast-385-millionen-kinder-weltweit-leben-extremer-armut

** https://www.unicef.de/informieren/aktuelles/blog/-/kinderarbeit-fragen-und-antworten/275272#

Hunger worldwide

Hungry people, and children in particular, are also one of the most pressing problems facing our society. And their numbers are increasing worldwide.

Figures in millions

There are currently around 750 million hungry people*.

Three million children under the age of five die every year**.

Every fourth child in Europe and every fifth child in Germany is food insecure ***.

In 2021, a quarter of a million children died of hunger in Africa.****

One in five children in the USA suffers from hunger*****

Food insecurity is also observed in Australia and New Zealand, particularly among people with a migrant background and the indigenous population.******

* https://www.ref.ch/news/dreiviertel-milliarde-menschen-hungern/

** https://www.unicef.de/informieren/aktuelles/blog/-/kindersterblichkeit-weltweit-warum-sterben-kinder/274050

*** https://www.dkhw.de/informieren/unsere-themen/kinderarmut/gesunde-ernaehrung/#:~:text=Kind goes to school hungry, around 500,000 children are affected.

**** https://www.savethechildren.de/news/ostafrika-eine-viertelmillion-kinder-2021-an-hunger-gestorben/#:~:text=Mehr than 260,000 children under, analysis by Save the Children.

***** https://www.watson.ch/wirtschaft/donald-trump/692985483-jedes-fuenfte-us-kind-hungert-donald-trump-verweigert-die-hilfe

****** https://comcom.govt.nz/__data/assets/pdf_file/0030/265809/Kore-Hiakai-Zero-Hunger-Collective-Submission-on-Market-study-into-grocery-sector-draft-report-26-August-2021.pdf/https://melbourneinstitute.unimelb.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0005/4348247/ri2022n04.pdf

Ratio of homeless children, desire to have children and abortions per year

There are 150 million homeless children worldwide, 33 million of whom have no parents.

In relation to this, both in-vitro fertilizations and abortions are steadily increasing.

Since the first IVF baby* was born in 1978, we have counted around 10 million in vitro births to date,** preceded by an average of 24 million treatments.

In relation to this, around 44 million pregnancies are terminated every year and the number of unsafe abortions***is estimated at around 25 million per year.

* https://mvz-kinderwunsch.com/wissenswertes/erstes-ivf-baby-louise-brown/#:~:text=Der was born on July 25, 1978.

** https://www.welt.de/gesundheit/article236833613/Kuenstliche-Befruchtung-Wie-es-den-Wunschkindern-im-spaeteren-Leben-geht.html#:~:text=Seit the year 1978, when, How do these children live?

*** https://www.aerzteblatt.de/nachrichten/80592/WHO-Jaehrlich-25-5-Millionen-unsichere-Abtreibungen-weltweit

The topic of "the desire to have children and happiness" is timeless and one of the most important topics worldwide. However, it is also a very personal topic and therefore difficult to propagate. What is essential, however, is that the focus should always be on the well-being of all children, because children mean the future. And the future begins in the present with knowledge from the past.

Our children reflect the generation in which they grow up and live what they experience. Children are ablank page on which life writes its own individual story.

From the day of conception to birth, the foetus experiences various emotions and stimuli through the womb. Nutrition, sport, music and lifestyle habits lay the foundations for development alongside genetic disposition.

Music that the mother enjoys listening to and singing along to not only relaxes her, but also the unborn child. It doesn't matter what kind of music. The sound of the mother's voice and the mother's well-being are transferred to the fetus and build up a bond. If both parents sing a lullaby in the evening or stroke the womb to classical music, this has the same effect.

Sport is also an important and indispensable factor during pregnancy. Staying active is important for mother and child. "Listen to your gut feeling. Whatever does no harm is allowed." Endurance and weight training, Pilates, yoga or tai chi - there are various recommendations or you can get individual advice.

Unfortunately, there is no recipe when it comes to nutrition. However, the expectant mother should pay particular attention to her intake of vitamins and minerals. The intake of various supplements during pregnancy is monitored by the accompanying gynecologist and a trusted midwife. According to an international study* on different care models for pregnant women, continuous care by a midwife or midwife team came off best.

* https://www.cochrane.org/de/CD004667/PREG_sind-modelle-der-kontinuierlichen-betreuung-durch-hebammen-im-vergleich-zu-anderen

It goes without saying that stimulants such as nicotine and alcohol should be avoided, but this is not stipulated by law and is a matter of individual opinion. This is where the first discrepancies in the values surroundinglife begin. At the same time, it is a discussion that we cannot end here and now. It is one of those situations that only those affected can decide for themselves, but they have to live with the consequences.

Lifestyle habits are also very important in the development of our children. This goes beyond pregnancy. Whether a life with fixed rules and structure or a so-called "free upbringing" without any recognizable order. Parents are responsible for the development and actions of their children.

This raises the question of whether it is necessary to give up familiar ways of life. This is also a very individual question and should only be answered by the parents-to-be. Unwanted external intervention in other people's lifestyles forces them to abandon their individuality and can therefore trigger various traumas.

Children do not demand a sacrifice in their parents' everyday lives, children are an asset and teach us to see life from its most innocent side. It is a give and take, and yet it is our responsibility to protect them and show them how to enter society.

According to recent studies, there has also been a slight decline in regular per capita alcohol consumption.

** https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/1424990/umfrage/alkoholkonsum-bei-menschen-ab-15-jahren-in-ausgewaehlten-laendern-weltweit/

At the same time, however, a change in drinking behavior can be seen, with larger and riskier quantities being consumed on certain occasions. The use of illegal drugs is stagnating while legal drug use is increasing rapidly.

Similarly, around 5.1-7.5 percent of all pregnant women suffer from an eating disorder. This data was collected from industrialized countries and also shows an increase in mental illnesses caused by stress and social pressure.

*** https://www.spektrum.de/news/essstoerungen-in-der-schwangerschaft/1588154

Introduction

In my interviews, I asked people about happiness, life goals and the role of children in this context.

During the conversation, I learned a lot of private things and often discovered connections between traumas and experiences that shaped the attitude towards children and the respective values.

Aurélie, 36 years old

Event & Language Lecturer

Aurélie Bourcart

Where were you born and how did you grow up?

I was born in Kortrijk, Belgium. I am the second of three children. My parents were entrepreneurs and more business partners than a couple.

But we were always a family, even after their divorce we were lucky that they were our parents despite everything. I had a quiet and comfortable childhood, with a strong connection to nature, especially horses and dogs.

What values were you taught as a child?

We were responsible for our own decisions. My parents always pushed us to work to get what we wanted. They also raised us to develop a tremendous sense of responsibility. Good manners and etiquette were also very important parts of our upbringing.

How long have you been living in Switzerland?

I moved to Switzerland with my husband and our children in 2007. As we are Swiss, my husband wanted to leave Belgium and come back here for the quality of life.

Do you have children and if so, how did your life change after the birth?

We have two wonderful children. Lucie was born in 2003 and Arthur in 2006. The children changed my life a lot as they became our priority. I realized that they depended on us. As parents, my husband and I became a team. I feel that being a mother is just as important as being at peace with myself (... the best form of myself, so a role model) to set a good example for my children. It's not always easy to be true to yourself and meet all the requirements at the same time. As I was working as a flight attendant at the time and was often on the road, there were many opportunities for my husband to become the wonderful father he is today.

But this lifestyle also allowed my children to understand that it's not about quantity, but quality of parental presence - the time I spent at home, I was 100% there for them. For me too, being a mother means being my husband's wife, because that is the main reason I became a mother. Fostering the love I had towards my husband to keep our relationship alive, to create a strong and safe environment for our children, was very important.

If a woman only acts as a mother after giving birth and neglects her relationship with her partner, this shakes the pillars of her "home sweet home" family.

Can adults learn from children?

Oh yes, very much. In my opinion, our children come to us to help us grow and work on our challenges, as they are a mirror of ourselves.

Do you see a change in the social role of children?

Sometimes I experience some of the inconveniences of an overly liberal upbringing where children are seen as 'king'. With the loss of set boundaries comes a lack of skills and knowledge in dealing with adversity in life and therefore their own frustration. In my opinion, it is the role of parents to prepare children for their future. And this includes structure as well as boundaries and rules. The balance between rigid and liberal parenting is hard to find. But I think as active parents you always try to do the best for your child and of course, sometimes we make mistakes.

How child-friendly would you rate the environment in which you live?

We were lucky enough to be able to raise our children in a very safe environment. At the age of six, they were able to walk to school on their own as a "parent network" supervised the journey to school. Everything is done so that they can live carefree. From a macro perspective, I sometimes have the feeling that the world wants to take advantage of our children's vulnerability. That scares me ... major climate change is also a pressing concern for future generations.

What do you wish for children around the world?

I wish them to find happiness and their own balance. I wish them to be able to bring out the best of their humanity. I wish for them to be able to reconnect with nature and for essential common sense to trump polarizing consumerism.

Is that too utopian? Well, probably, but why not?

Kortrijk - small town in Belgium

Montreux - Jazz Café

Villeneuve Geneva - small town in Switzerland on the shores of Lake Geneva and on the border with France

Fiona, 20 years old

Healthcare specialist, student on training course - qualified nursing specialist

Where and how did you grow up?

I was born in Zurich and grew up with an older sister in a family with a mother and father.

What did your parents value in your upbringing, what did they teach you for the future?

In our family, it is very, very important to have a career.

To be successful and earn a lot of money. That is an important goal for our family.

What scared you as a child?

I think I will be forgotten. And not being enough. Enough in what I do and therefore not living up to my parents' expectations.

Who were the heroes of your childhood?

My mother. She was a nurse and I always looked up to her, I wanted to be a cool nurse like her.

What scares you today and how do you deal with it?

That I don't find out what I really want. I try things out to find out what I want, what is good for me. And at the same time, I discover things that I exclude from my future life.

How do you feel in the presence of children and how do you feel when interacting with them?

Well, I think children are something mega-beautiful. I find their honesty so beautiful, their playfulness. It's a joy to watch them.

What do you think should change in local politics for children here in Switzerland?

The school system should also prepare children psychologically for life. In addition to science, facts and figures, the psyche plays a major role in coping with life's challenges. Children should learn to deal with this at an early age.

What would you take from your parents when raising your own children and what would you do differently?

I would definitely adopt structure in everyday life, things like order and reliability. But I wouldn't teach my child a black and white philosophy. There is not just right or wrong. Children should try things out and learn from their mistakes. I want to stand by my children and earn their love and respect through trust and authenticity. I want to communicate at eye level and not stand above them as an authority.

What do you wish for children all over the world?

That the world becomes a little better. That every child has a home and that the children of this world experience love and are protected.

Zurich

Kafi Dihei, Zurich

Club Bellevue - known for good cocktails and techno

Zurich Center for Education and Research with internationally recognized universities such as ETH Zurich and the University of Zurich

Corinne, 42 years old

Qualified nursing specialist

Where were you born and how did you grow up?