Far Away From You E-Book

Liz Levoy

• Herausgeber: Splendid Island
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Elisabeth: From the moment he walked in to my coffee shop, I was hooked. I thought this was the man that I’d been looking for my whole life. Our romance was like a dream come true... until he vanished from my life and started turning up on the radio and TV instead. How am I supposed to get over someone who’s literally everywhere? Logan: Everyone knows me, the whole world screams my name. Being in a rock band is a dream come true, but something is missing. My life hasn’t been the same since I walked away from her. But I suppose it’s too late to get Stephanie back now...

Leseprobe

Far Away From You

Liz Levoy

Elisa Press

Copyright © 2020 by Liz Levoy

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission of the publisher.

First Edition: October 2020

Published by Elisa Press

Elisa Press is an imprint of Splendid Island, Ltd.

Scanbox 05927

Ehrenbergstrasse 16a

10245 Berlin – Deutschland

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - Logan

Chapter 2 - Elisabeth

Chapter 3 - Logan

Chapter 4 - Elisabeth

Chapter 5 - Logan

Chapter 6 - Elisabeth

Chapter 7 - Logan

Chapter 8 - Elisabeth

Chapter 9 - Logan

Chapter 10 - Elisabeth

Chapter 11 - Logan

Chapter 12 - Elisabeth

Chapter 13 - Logan

Chapter 14 - Elisabeth

Chapter 15 - Logan

Chapter 16 - Elisabeth

Chapter 17 - Logan

Chapter 18 - Elisabeth

Chapter 19 - Logan

Epilogue - Elisabeth

More Books by Liz Levoy

About the Author

Chapter 1 - Logan

“This is not my life,” I muttered quietly to myself as I leaned my face in my hands. I spent so much of my life sitting behind this counter at my local Homedale, Idaho small town America record store, helping people pick out music they liked, either for themselves of loved ones as a gift, and I enjoyed it... most of the time. Anything that surrounded me with music was always awesome, but it wasn’t enough. I knew I was destined for more and sitting in this purgatory waiting for my real life to begin was agonizing. “This isn’t my dream.”

I had a stack of application forms in my inbox waiting to be filled in, to take me that one step closer to my rock star dream which really needed my attention, but every so often I grew a little despondent because nothing seemed to go my way. At twenty-three years old already, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was never going to happen. After chasing my one musical dream for as long as I could remember—I had always been singing with a guitar in my hands through my whole life—I wasn’t sure what I would do if it didn’t come true. I hated to get down hearted about it, but why the hell had it not happened yet?

“Just keep going.” That was my mom always said to me. Before she passed away that was. She definitely raised me not to be a quitter, and I so wanted to make her proud. I was sure that she was up there watching me somewhere, encouraging me even through my darkest moments, but I still couldn’t quite work up the enthusiasm to carry on. Not today. “Sorry, Mom.”

I let my head fall onto the desk as the dark cloud settled over me. It was the monotony of my life that got to me just as much as my dreams not coming true. Every day was the same, nothing changed, nothing inspired or excited me. I wished that I could have someone to talk to about all of this, but it was only me and my mom. I had no other family, and any friends from high school all had more realistic dreams that were easier to obtain. I was the only one left in this town.

“That busy today, huh?” I nearly jumped as my boss, Jack, asked me this. Luckily, he had a bemused tone of voice so I knew that he wasn’t mad at me. Not that I could picture Jack ever being angry about anything. He was so laid back he might as well have been horizontal. “Well, I was just coming to tell you that you could close up early if you want to.”

“Oh, really?” I asked wearily. “I don’t mind. My mood has nothing to do with how quiet it has been today.”

“But is has been quiet, hasn’t it?” He cocked a knowing eyebrow at me. “You get off. Honestly, it’s fine.”

There were times when I feared he might tell me he didn’t need an employee any longer because we never had much business at the store, but thankfully that day hadn’t come yet. I didn’t know what would happen when it did. There was nothing else musical for me.

“Okay, well I will see you tomorrow.” I smiled gratefully and nodded. I suppose this would be a good opportunity for me to get those band applications sent off before I sunk even deeper in to this funk. “Thanks, Jack.”

Instantly, as soon as the bright lights of the outside world hit me, I knew I needed caffeine. A real decent coffee as well, not the sludge from the crappy machine I had at home. I couldn’t stand to replace it with an upgrade though because it belonged to my mom and she loved it. Also, I kinda felt like my limited funds could be spent elsewhere. It made real coffee a treat anyway.

“Oh no!” Finding out that my usual haunt, DC Patisserie, was closed made my heart sink. The note in the window said something vague about a family emergency and it would reopen soon, which really did mean that if I still wanted my caffeine hit, and I did, I really did, then I would have to go somewhere else. I was being forced to break my rut, but that didn’t feel like a good thing.

“Janet’s Cafe.” I stared up at the sign outside a building I never usually came across because it wasn’t between my route of home and work, it was down a little alley just out of the way, but since I had no DC Patisserie, this was it. Even if it did look a little quaint for my liking. More like an English tea shop, or what I imagined an English tea shop looked like. “Let’s hope you do good coffee.”

Oh my God. As soon as I opened the door, I was instantly struck by the woman behind the counter. Struck like a lightning bolt darting through my heart. I thought I knew everyone in this town, but I would have definitely remembered if this was someone I’d come across before. She was tall and curvy, a raven-haired stunner with sparkling green eyes that shone when she smiled. She had the sort of face that could easily become a muse for a musician, so I knew I didn’t already know her.

Huh, perhaps this change in my routine was exactly what I needed after all. I felt my heart begin to pulse, like it had been dying a pathetic death for far too long and had finally kicked back in to gear once more. The sight of this woman had brought me back from the brink of death. Thank goodness. A little smile curled up on my lips as I stepped towards her.

“Janet, I presume?” I asked her with a cheeky grin. “I hear you do the best coffee in town,”

“Janet was my grandmother. Elisabeth is me.” She had dimples, I freaking loved dimples. “But yes, you heard right. You can’t get coffee better than from here. Why don’t you take a seat over there and I’ll show you?”

I wasn’t really intending to stay, my original plan was to grab the coffee to go, but an offer like that from a woman someone so beautiful, of course I wasn’t going to turn her down. I took my seat and glanced around the cafe. There was no one else around, but I liked the cafe being empty because it meant I could learn more about this awesome woman.

“So, Elisabeth who makes the best coffee in town,” I chuckled. “Have you always lived here? Oh, I’m Logan, but the way.”

“Not always, Logan,” she admitted. “We moved here when I was a teenager. About fourteen years old I think, so I have been here for...” She counted on her fingers. “Seven years. Wow, that’s gone fast. Here, try your coffee.”

I took it from her and instantly groaned in bliss. Actually, I wasn’t even lying. It was much better than any coffee I’d had before. “Ooh, nice. Is this a coffee blend created by the wonderful Janet? Did you move here with her?”

She nodded, but didn’t divulge much about her family. “Yes, it was just me and Grandma. She opened up this cafe because it was always her dream.” She sighed heavily. “But she’s passed away now, which makes the cafe mine.”

“Well you’ve inherited something awesome.” I lifted up my mug. “You should come and have a coffee with me.”

Since there was no one else needing Elisabeth’s attention, she complied. I was a little surprised actually, but perhaps she needed to step out of a rut just as much as I did. Funny how we seemed to come in to one another’s lives at the perfect moment. I wondered if there was something behind that. It was intriguing, wasn’t it?

“So, what brought you in here today?” Elisabeth asked, eyeing me across the table as if she was a little unsure of me. She cocked a curious eyebrow my way. “I assume you didn’t just come to find out how I ended up with Janet’s Cafe?”

“Maybe I did.” I nodded slowly. “Maybe I came here to find out all about you. I’m very intrigued, by you.”

“You are?” An adorable blush flooded her cheeks. I kinda wanted to reach out and touch her face but I resisted. There was no way in hell we knew one another well enough for that. “I think you might be just playing with me a little bit.”

“Maybe.” I offered her a playful one shouldered shrug. “But I think you should tell me all about yourself anyway.”

“What do you want to know? I don’t think I’m very interesting to be honest with you. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well, is Janet’s Cafe your dream?” Thinking about my own dreams all day long had me intrigued to see how the rest of the world was doing. Particularly my brand new friend, which was the category I’d already slipped Elisabeth into.

“I don’t know about dream so much,” she sighed heavily. “It was my grandmother’s dream and she worked so hard to get it in place. I feel like she passed away too quickly before she really got to see it flourish. I want that to happen for her.”

“I see.” She wasn’t content in Homedale either. The fact that we were kind of in the same position in life instantly built a bond between us. I was intrigued. “Do you think that your grandmother would want you to stay and be unhappy?”

“No, of course not!” Her eyes popped wide. “I didn’t mean I’m unhappy here, it isn’t that... it just isn’t my dream, that’s all. I think I want more adventure. But I don’t think I can have both. I can’t travel and keep my grandmother’s legacy alive. I have this connection to her while I’m here and I don’t know if I’m quite ready to let go of that yet.”

We sat in silence for a while, sipping our coffee. I couldn’t stop staring at Elisabeth, she was so freaking captivating that I couldn’t get enough. There was a lightness deep inside of me which hadn’t been there for a very long time.

“What about you anyway?” Elisabeth asked me with a cheeky smile. “Is sitting in Janet’s Cafe your dream? Not that it’s something you do regularly, but I’m just basing it on what I know about you right now.”

“Actually most of my life is spent working in the record store, over in that direction.” I kinda waved my hand behind me slightly towards the left. If she wanted to find it she would be able to do so easily even with my vague directions. “But that’s not my dream either. I want adventures as well, but I want the adventure of being a rock star,”

“A rock star. Nice! So, you’re a musical kinda guy, huh? That’s interesting.” She leaned back and examined me closely. “Yeah, I can see that. Tall, muscular body, shaggy blond hair, cool brown eyes... yeah, you look like a rock star I can see.”

“Yeah, you think so?” Ooh, I liked the way that her compliment made me feel. It gave me a confidence I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I had a deep energetic boost and could have quite happily filled in all the application forms from that comment alone. “Well, maybe it will happen one day soon. Perhaps I will be that rock star guy traveling the world.”

“Yeah, and maybe I’ll get my adventures. Who knows?” She giggled an adorable sound. “How cool would that be?”

I really felt like this might have been the start of something. Something new. I wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but I could feel it. I was excited to the core, thrilled to see what life would throw at me next.

Chapter 2 - Elisabeth

“Logan, hi!” I couldn’t stop myself from grinning ear to ear as I saw him coming in the cafe, just like he’d started doing every single day. That one random visit—which I now knew was only because DC Patisserie was closed that day—had lead to him becoming a very regular customer. I wasn’t sure if it was because of our fantastic coffee, or maybe because he liked talking to me, but I liked his new presence. He added a lightness to my day that I wasn’t getting before him. “Do you want the usual today?”

“Sure do.” He leaned on the counter and shot me his adorable smile. My heart fluttered excitedly. It was a feeling that I couldn’t get used to. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to get used to it. It wasn’t something any guy had ever made me feel before. “So, how is everything today? Looks like you’re having a busy day this lunch time.”

“Mhmm, it’s good, isn’t it?” I liked days like this, when I could come down from the apartment upstairs and serve people, just like my grandmother used to. It made me feel more connected to her than anything else. “I enjoy busy days.”

This was my grandmother’s dream, this was what she’d always wanted her whole life as far as I was aware. That was what she’d always told me anyway, which was why we moved to Homedale. She was given the opportunity to live out the life that she wanted and she went for it. I had to admire that about her and that was why I had to keep the cafe alive.

“You need any help back there?” he offered. “I could wash some dishes or something.”

“Aren’t you on your lunch break right now?” I chuckled back. “You have a rest. You didn’t come here to work.”

“No, but I came here to see you.” He shot me a wink. “You know I come to Janet’s for the company.”

“Ah, and there was me thinking that you were enjoying the time to be a normal person before fame came along and swallowed you up whole. Just think about it, when you’re a super star you won’t be able to be a normal person anymore.”

That was supposed to be a joke but I had to admit it did give my heart a little tug. My heart strings pulled at the thought of Logan, my brand new friend and confidant, running off and leaving me behind. It was a lot to take on board. And not just because he would be out there, living out his dream life and having the sorts of adventures I wanted, but because he’d be gone.

Logan might have only been in my life for the past couple of weeks, but the happiness he’d brought to me was something I found myself already completely addicted to. I didn’t think that I’d be able to live without it. Was that insane? Yeah, it probably was but I hadn’t really connected with anyone here before. Not like I did Logan and I liked it. A lot.

“Yep,” he replied with a smirk, popping the p. “I will turn my back on all the small people then.”

He winked before he took his coffee over to the same table he sat at every single day. The one we shared when he very first came here, which made me really feel like I wasn’t on my own with my feelings. He seemed to like me too. We shared the odd look as I worked causing an intense heat to burn in my cheeks. I knew I was blushing but I couldn’t stop.

“Ooh, I see Logan is here again today,” Mrs. Lee declared. She was my grandmother’s friend who always came to the cafe to see her, but had made the effort to continue visiting me even after grandma died. She was a sweet lady. “He’s here a lot, isn’t he? I think you might have a little admirer there, Beth. Don’t you? I can see it in his eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tried to push the idea away because saying it aloud made it much scarier. Thinking it was one thing, but making it public would terrify me to the core. “I think he’s just here for the coffee, that’s all.”

“Oh I’m sure.” Mrs. Lee tossed her head back and laughed. “Yes, it’s just for the great coffee. No, he likes you. And he’s handsome as well. You must be able to see that. You should snap him up before someone else does.”

Urgh, that was a real gut punch. It almost had me bent double in agony. The idea of Logan with another woman made me feel sick. I wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t like I could stake any claim on him or anything like that, we were only new friends, but I didn’t like it one bit. I’d never been too interested in someone like this. My feelings hadn’t ever crushed me as painfully as this did.

“But didn’t you hear him?” I said in a hollow voice, desperately hating the obvious way my pain shone through. “He’s going to be a rock star. He isn’t going to stick around for someone like me, is he? He’ll have a model wife or something like that.”

“Pfft, as if some silly model could be better than you, Beth. I don’t buy it one bit. He wants you. You just need to work out if you want him too.”

She left the cafe then, leaving me stewing in endless thoughts about Logan. Thoughts that I really didn’t want to be having while Logan was here in the store, within listening reach if he wanted to be. I didn’t know if he was eavesdropping or not but I probably would have been if it were me and this was the other way around. Not that I’d braved going into the record store yet. I couldn’t find a good enough reason.

Two things happened at once, giving me a bit of a moment to choose what my next action would be. Logan started moving back to the counter to come and speak to me with an expectant look on his face, and the cafe phone started ringing loudly. I panicked and grabbed the phone fast. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a phone call I wanted to deal with. If I’d known who was calling I wouldn’t have bothered to pick up at all.

It was the bank, with yet another reminder that money was bad and things with the cafe weren’t going well at all. It didn’t seem to matter how much effort and time I put in to it, it still wasn’t making enough money to keep afloat. If I wasn’t careful then I’d end up losing the cafe and my grandmother’s dream all in one go. That’d be worse than me giving it up and selling it. It would be me losing it, failing, not keeping her memory alive at all. My God, that would destroy me. I could hardly stand the idea.

I needed to do something, anything, to make it better. I just wasn’t sure what I could do about it.

“Everything okay?” Logan asked as soon as I hung up the phone. I could tell from his pinched stressed out expression that he had heard too much. An embarrassing amount actually. I could hardly look at Logan because I was so humiliated.

“Just the bank.” I tried to wave my hand dismissively. “You know how banks are. Always after money.”

“This town is dying, isn’t it? The record shop is the same. I keep worrying Jack is going to have to fire me because he won’t be able to keep me on anymore. I’ll still have a roof over my head and everything, I have my mom’s old home, but I need a job. I can’t survive without money. It does have me worried. It’s why I keep pushing for my rock star dream.”

“Hmm, yeah...” At least Logan had a dream, something else that he wanted to do in life. I really wasn’t sure where I wanted to go. Sure, I liked the idea of adventure and fun, but aside from that I wasn’t sure where my life was headed. Perhaps that was why I remained here at the cafe, because it was all I had. “Yeah, you can easily do that. I’m surprised you haven’t made it yet.”

“Me too,” he chuckled, “But before I do get famous, why don’t I help you out? I could play a set here at the cafe. See if that draws in more people. You know what, because I like you so much, I won’t even charge you for my time. I will just see if I can draw in something of a crowd who will all buy drinks and cakes, making you a decent amount of money.”

“Really?” I pursed my lips together as I thought about this. “I like the idea, but do you think it’ll work?”

He nodded but half shrugged as he did. “I don’t know, but it could work, don’t you think? It’s worth a try. It could work out.”

“Well, anything is worth a try. If you don’t mind, that would be awesome. Plus, I’d love to hear you play, Mr. Rock Star. I haven’t had the pleasure yet.”

I loved the way Logan immediately became excited by the idea. Enthusiasm flooded him as he came up with lots of plans including flyers and social media posts to promote the event. His excitement was to help me, of course, I could tell that, but I had a feeling he also liked the idea of playing in front of a crowd. My God, I loved that idea as well. He’d talked to me about his music, and I could see how passionate he was about it, but to see him playing would be something else. I truly was intrigued.

“We could set it up here.” He pointed over to a little area of the cafe. “Don’t you think? Then the crowds—hopefully there will be a crowd—can sit over here and order everything that they want from you. The hostess with the mostest.”

“You know, I can see it.” I found a grin spreading across my face. “And I think it would be awesome. It’s the sort of thing that my grandmother would love. She would have been willing to do whatever it took to make Janet’s Cafe work...”

Uh oh. All of a sudden, a burst of unexpected emotion rolled over me and I got all choked up. I still missed my grandmother so much, it was really hard not to have her around anymore. I went through every day just getting through everything without too much thought, but when her death hit me again, it really hit me. I didn’t want it to crush me right now though...

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get upset.” Logan came to the other side of the counter to comfort me in seconds. He put his arms around me and just held me, which was exactly what I needed. I leaned against him gratefully, sobbing into his chest “I know it’s hard. I get it, it’s the same for me with my mom. It’s horrible being the person left behind.”

I never even knew my mom. My grandmother was always the only person who raised me. So that put me and Logan in a very similar position in life. Perhaps that was why I felt so comfortable allowing myself to be so vulnerable around him, and why I was willing to let him help me as well. I didn’t find it easy to let my guard down with anyone, even less so now, but Logan seemed to make it easy for me, which was why I needed him even more. I wanted him to live out his dream, but I also wanted him to stay with me forever... although the latter part was just a selfish wish, one just for me.

Chapter 3 - Logan

“Beth, I wasn’t expecting quite so many people to be here,” I hissed quietly as I looked around at the crowd which had developed in Janet’s Cafe to come and see me play. “My flyers worked much better than I thought they would.”

“Hey, Mr. Rock Star, this is good news for me, remember,” she giggled. I could see that she was enjoying it as well judging by the flush in her cheeks. “I need this crowd and I’m already doing really well, so you have to play now. You can’t let me down!”

“I suppose I should get used to this sort of thing, shouldn’t I? If I’m going to be famous. This will be a small crowd.”

“Exactly. This will just be the start of a very booming career, you’ll always remember this moment. The start of your life.”

I bristled a little, wondering if she was right. Perhaps this would be the start of something incredible. I’d tried a lot of other ways to get noticed and to break out on to the rock scene, but applications weren’t working out for me. Or they hadn’t yet anyway. Perhaps doing something like this would be good for me, it would get me out there a little bit. I did want to be seen.

“At least my plan has worked,” I whispered, half to myself and half to Beth as well. “At least you have people in here.”

“The bank will thank you, I can promise you that much.” Beth nodded encouragingly. “It might keep them off my ass for a while.”

Even if I was nervous as all hell, I would still go through this for her. I could see how much she needed this to work out and I had promised to do everything I could to help her out. So I’d work through every part of this anxiety and do what I needed to. I knew what to do, I’d practiced this set enough. It was a good mix of cover songs to get the crowd going and some of my own music as well. I really thought it’d be perfect once I got up there and started. At least, that was what I thought when I planned it all out at home, but now I wasn’t so sure what I should do for the best. I had to admit I was anxious.

“You’re going to have to give me another coffee,” I gasped out to Beth. “My caffeine withdrawal is very real right now.”

“You’re knocking back espressos like they’re vodka shots,” Elisabeth chuckled at me. “It’s funny to see, but if you aren’t careful you’ll be awake all night long, shaking and trembling. Drinking more coffee just to get you going. You’re crazy.”

“That’s what I think you’ve done to me already,” I teased. “You have me hooked on caffeine, that’s why I keep coming back for more.”

She rolled her eyes and snorted. “Sure, I am in the business of addiction. I’m probably behind your cake consumption as well. Speaking of which, have a slice of this lemon cake before you go on. It’s on the house. My way of saying thank you since you won’t actually let me pay you for your time here. I would rather actually pay you though, real money would be so much better...”

“No, the cake is fine.” I wouldn’t take any money off of her, no matter what she said. That wasn’t what I was doing this for, I was doing it for her, wanting her to have the best chance she could of making the money that she needed. Beth might not have confided in me how much she needed, she hadn’t got in to that much detail about things, but I could tell it wasn’t great. It didn’t surprise me, considering how quiet things normally were around here, but if I could help then so be it.

Things could change as well, clearly, because my flyers had drawn out way more people than I expected. All these people had clearly just been sitting around waiting for a beat of excitement, so there was more that could be done. Before I raced off into my rock star career I was going to have to discuss this with Jack, to assist him with the record store. Since he’d kept me around for such a long time when he probably didn’t need to and he’d always been a good boss to me, I needed to repay him.

“This cake is delicious,” I groaned as I took my first bite, sheer ecstasy flooding through my veins. “So good.”

“Yeah? You like it?” Beth looked so pleased, she was so damn cute it hurt. “I baked that one myself. I tried a new recipe.”

“Taste it. Did you taste it as you were making it?” I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I simply forked up some of the cake and handed it over to her. I fed her like we were a couple instead of just friends which we both instantly noticed. In a heart beat everything had changed, there was a sizzle and a burn between us, which I was sure Beth could feel as intensely as me.

“Mmm, it’s good,” she agreed as she moved backwards a little. But the thickness remained in the air. It was hard to breathe through the hot chemistry flowing now. I kinda wondered if Beth was going to inch in a little closer to kiss me. It was the first time I really felt like she might. I would’ve made the first move myself if I wasn’t so frightened of her rejecting me and our friendship shattering to pieces. I loved having Beth in my life, I really couldn’t stand her vanishing over a misguided kiss. “It tastes... nice.”

It was awkward for another second before Beth eventually slipped all the way back, breaking any chance that we might kiss. It almost happened for a moment though, I could definitely feel that much. She considered kissing me. I could see the desire flickering behind her eyes, she wanted me badly, and that was exactly how I felt as well.

Ooh, what if she had done? What would that have led to? I thought about it a lot. What it could mean if we amped things up to another level between us. It’d been a long time since I’d had a girlfriend. No one had intrigued me for a long time. Plus, I’d been focusing hard on trying to get my ass into a band so I hadn’t had time for it. But Beth captivated me and I would definitely set aside some time to be with her if that was what she wanted as well. No way I’d give up that amazing chance.

But still, I couldn’t make the first move. I needed her to do it to confirm I wasn’t about to lose her for good. Much as I was confident we shared feelings, I still didn’t have the courage to over step that line, just in case. She was special. So special that I would’ve rather had her in my life in any way, even if it wasn’t romantic. I couldn’t lose her now. Perhaps we’d only known one another a short time, less than a month, but it made no difference. She’d impacted on me regardless.

“Are you ready in a moment?” Beth finally asked me, reminding me that I wasn’t here just to think about what a future between me and her may or may not look like. “I think the crowd might be getting ready for you to play in a moment.”

“Sure, will do.” I breathed deep, steadying myself as much as I could. “I’m just gearing myself up and I’ll be there.”

I didn’t think anything could prepare me for what was to come. Much as I’d been planning for a moment like this my whole life, and certainly since I’d offered to do this for Beth, but I still didn’t feel ready. This was just so scary.

“But exciting too,” I whispered to myself as a reminder. “This is what you have wanted to do for your whole life.”

Eventually, I nodded in Elisabeth’s direction and she stepped up to the little stage area that we’d set in place, as she hushed the crowd down. She grinned happily, proudly actually, as she announced my set. Even though most of the people in the cafe didn’t know me at all and definitely hadn’t heard me sing before, they all cheered wildly like this was the most exciting thing to ever happen. I suppose it was for a very long time. Live music wasn’t a common thing here. A lot of the crowd were teenagers as well, so they probably hadn’t been around when it was a little more lively. This was their first time.

Now that was a lot of pressure on my shoulders. But I was going to do the best I could.

“Hi everyone, thank you for coming here to see me.” My voice was a little shaky, but no one seemed to notice that. They treated me like I was already a rock star, which was actually pretty cool. I could also see Beth watching me intently as well, which lifted me up a little higher. If she believed that I could do it, then I would do it. I had to. “I hope we all have fun tonight.”

I started with a crowd pleaser, one everyone knew so they joined in easily. Hearing everyone yell along to every word that I was singing made me feel absolutely amazing. I grew stronger, my voice more powerful, I really got in to the swing of things and soon I was singing my fucking heart out. I was living out my freaking rock star fantasy and it was incredible.

My God, this had lit one hell of a fire under my ass. I needed this, I lived for it, this was what I wanted to do for a living. I wanted to play music, to have the crowds scream out and go wild for me, I wanted all of this. I could feel it surging through my veins making me feel more alive than I had done ever. It was phenomenal.

After a few more songs that were familiar to the crowd, I burst out a song of my own. It was still a little nerve wracking to do this, even with the crowd on my side, but somehow I just about made it work. In fact, as I got in to the second song of my own, I noticed that a few of the teenagers in the crowd were taking pictures of me, or perhaps video... maybe they were even live streaming my performance. Either way they cared enough about it to have it on their phones.

I caught Beth’s eye at one point, and noticed she was filming me too. I sent a playful wink just for her, imagining her watching this video a lot and thinking about how much she liked me, wishing she had leaned in and kissed me during that special moment. Why didn’t she? What held her back? Was she scared about losing me too?

I couldn’t spend too long looking at Beth and losing myself in her eyes because I’d quite easily get distracted by her. I was doing so well, I didn’t want to lose this now. Plus, any decent rock star knew that you had to connect with every single person in the audience to make sure they all felt like they’d had the best time with me. I forced my eyes away even though it was damn near impossible to do so, but I remained aware of her presence the whole time. I could still feel her there always.

Chapter 4 - Elisabeth

Oh my God. I couldn’t stop clapping as Logan’s set came to an end after the best hour Janet’s Cafe had ever had. It was incredible, he was wonderful. I just knew he had something special, I could see it in his eyes, I felt it in his charisma, but hearing him sing and play the guitar took me to another level. He was the best I’d ever heard... and I didn’t just feel that way because I liked him. Really liked him. Logan had something incredible. I didn’t know how he wasn’t full of fame yet. How had he not already been snapped up by some record label and flown around the world to shine? It seemed like his destiny.

The crowd loved him as well. They went wild for his music. The teenagers acted like they were at a real concert of a band they’d been fans of for their whole lives, which just proved what I already thought. Logan really had it. It was phenomenal to be at the start of someone’s journey like this, watching them blossom in to something amazing.

That was a slightly bitter sweet feeling though. Much as I was proud of him and I knew it really was selfish to want to keep him here with me, rather than share that talent with the world, I still didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want him to vanish from my life so he could share his songs with everyone else… but at the same time I knew I wouldn’t hold him back. Not that I was even in the position to hold him back, of course. Sometimes I thought I actually owned a piece of him just because I wanted to, just because of our close whirl wind friendship that had swept me off of my feet.

“Logan, that was amazing,” I gasped as soon as he came back to the counter after his set. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me though because the crowd was still cheering and yelling for him. “Oh my God, thank you so much for this. You are awesome.”

There were so many other things I wanted to say to Logan. His music, especially his own songs, had dragged out so many emotions within me that I ached to share with him, but we were both being dragged in different directions by the other people in the cafe. I had a queue of eager customers wanting drinks and cakes, keeping me very busy and filling up the till with some much needed cash, and of course everyone wanted a piece of Logan. He was the star who they all wanted to talk to and take pictures with. It was adorable actually, I kept smiling to myself as I watched the girls fawn all over him.

I would get a chance to talk to him at some point and I was going to have to try and express what he’d done to me today. Not just for me and the cafe, for my grandmother, but to me as well. He’d impacted on me incredibly and I needed him to know that before I lost the ability to express these emotions. Just because he was out of my reach at the moment, he wouldn’t be all day long. Logan always made an effort to speak with me throughout the day, every day, and he wouldn’t let that slide today. I had enough faith in him to know that much.

As I served the crowds of people with surprising expertise since I wasn’t exactly accustomed to dealing with this amount of people all at once, I couldn’t lose that sensation of knowing where Logan was all the time. It was as if he’d gotten right under my skin and had become a part of me. The feelings I’d been trying to stuff deep down flooded to the surface, causing a ball of emotion to lodge itself in my throat. I liked Logan, far too much, more than just a friend, and I wanted him to know.

Half of me desperately wanted to be brave with another person for the first time in my life and to tell Logan everything. I wanted to lay myself bare, to be vulnerable with him, to tell him how much I cared to see if he would feel the same way as well. I never wanted to be that open with people, it scared me to let anyone in in case I lost them too, but with Logan I thought that it’d probably be okay... however, there was another part of me that knew I’d lose Logan eventually so I wanted to keep the blockade up so I could protect my already battered and bruised heart. It was a real dilemma.

“I have to get out of here,” Logan finally yelled top note, over everyone else. “I need to get my guitar home and I think I might need a little break as well.” He rolled his eyes and laughed. “This is a little bit intense, but I’ll be back later.”

I waved him off, watching as a couple of the people followed him outside, but quite a few people remained. I really did hope that Janet’s Cafe would become a place for these people to hang out in the future. It would be a new crowd, an exciting crowd, and could be exactly what I needed to make a success of this place. Imagine if I could make this place everything my grandmother wanted and more? I would love her to look down and see me making her dreams a reality.

Positivity surged through me as I continued to sell absolutely everything. I was running out of the cakes I’d baked especially for this event. And to think I was worried they’d all go stale! I hadn’t been excited about the cafe for a long time, it was more of a duty than love. But today everything had turned on its head. I was starting to see what the cafe could be.

***

“You look exhausted!” Logan declared as he let himself into the now closed cafe. If anyone else had walked through that door, I’d have sent them far away because I was done with other people. I’d served the world today, or at least that was how I felt, and I just needed a break from everyone. But not Logan. I needed Logan, I’d been desperate to see him all day long. “Business was good today, huh? I’m so glad to hear it, but now I wonder if I should have stayed around to help you serve.”

“I don’t think the fans would have been able to handle it if you’d done that,” I giggled back. “They were mobbing you, right? That was insane.” I sat up a little straighter in the seat I’d slumped in to relax. “But what a day. Thank you so much.”

“No, thank you,” he declared loudly as he came and sat with me. “That was amazing. I think I’ve been stuck when it comes to my career for ages, but that performance has reminded me what I love about singing and being a star. I brought us a bottle of wine to share, because while Janet’s Cafe has the best coffee in the world, I thought we should have a treat.

---ENDE DER LESEPROBE---