Forced Partnership E-Book

Robert Jeschonek

• Herausgeber: Pie Press
• Kategorie: Fantasy und Science-Fiction
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

Hero-on-sidekick violence explodes in this hard-hitting super-hero tale. Why does Partycrasher, dark avenger of the night, give his sidekick (also codenamed "Partycrasher") the beating of a lifetime? Could it be the cowled crusader has fallen under the influence of sexy reformed bad girl Linda Loveblind, aka Partygirl? Or has the sidekick truly committed a heinous crime for which there can be no forgiveness? Maybe the answer is none of the above. A much deeper and darker delusion might be dominating the shadowy super-knight's mind. His sidekick begs for mercy and fights to break through before it's too late...but he's quickly running out of time. With each passing moment and punishing blow, the attack looks more like a murder in the making. Don't miss this exciting tale by award-winning storyteller and DC Comics writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected superhero adventures that really pack a punch.

Leseprobe

FORCED PARTNERSHIP

A SUPERHERO TALE

ROBERT JESCHONEK

CONTENTS

Also by Robert Jeschonek

Forced Partnership

About the Author

Special Preview: Forced Retirement

FORCED PARTNERSHIP

Copyright © 2023 by Robert Jeschonek

www.robertjeschonek.com

Cover Art Copyright © 2023 by Ben Baldwin

www.benbaldwin.co.uk

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved by the author.

Published by Blastoff Books

An Imprint of Pie Press

411 Chancellor Street

Johnstown, Pennsylvania 15904

www.piepresspublishing.com

Subscribe to the Blastoff Books Newsletter: http://newsletter.blastoffbooks.net/

ALSO BY ROBERT JESCHONEK

A Matter of Size

Forced Betrayal

Forced Retirement

Heroes of Global Warming

Not-So-Fortunate Son

Seven Comic Book Scripts Volume One

Seven Comic Book Scripts Volume Two

Seven Comic Book Scripts Volume Three

Six Superhero Stories Volume One

The Wife Who Never Was

FORCED PARTNERSHIP

ONE NIGHT IN ISOSCELES CITY...

My favorite super-hero pounds me with his fists. I can almost see the spiky sound effect balloons fly up with each punishing blow to my head. Boom!Pow!Wham!

Krack. That's the sound of my cheekbone snapping. The un-super cheekbone of a very un-super man. The super-hero battering me has unbreakable bones and the strength of ten men, but I've got nothing like that.

Even though we both wear the same black and gray costume and go by the same code name. Even though we both call ourselves Partycrasher.

"Stop it! Stop hurting me!" I blubber the words through my shattered teeth and swollen lips. "How can you do this to your number one backup? Your chief deputy in the Party Line?"

At least that makes him put my beating on pause. "For the last time!" He's so furious, he spits in my face while he screams at me. "You are not my backup!"

I cower on the sidewalk at his feet. "Please don't say that! What's wrong with you?"

"You're not in the Party Line, and we've never had a team-up!" He hauls back his fist, ready to let it fly. "The only thing you've ever done for me is ruin my life!"

"This isn't you talking, Partycrasher!" I spread my arms pleadingly, desperate to get through to him. "You're under a villain's control. You've got to fight it!"

The leather in his black glove creaks as he tightens his fist. "The only thing I'm fighting is the urge to kill you right this minute."

I meet his gaze through the eye-holes in his black leather cowl. Maybe there's a spark of mercy in there after all. "I knew you didn't want to kill me, Partycrasher."

"I didn't say that. I just don't want to kill you too soon." The muscles bulge along the length of his arm, defined by the moonlight flowing over them. "I want you to suffer like she did."

Then, he releases that punch he's been aiming. His sledgehammer fist crosses the night air like a missile, cruising straight for my...

* * *

AT LAST! THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE PARTYCRASHER/ADJUSTER TEAM!

You haven't lived until you've charged through the dark city streets at night, fighting crime with a true crusader. I'm telling you, man.

I remember our first adventure together, five years ago. Back when I was just starting out. Back when I was still calling myself the Adjuster.

You should've seen my homemade outfit and gear. So lame. I basically wore a black hoodie and jeans, plus a Halloween mask that was supposed to make me look like some kind of red demon creature.

It was pouring down rain one night, and I saw these two goons beating up a homeless guy in an alley. When I tried to break it up, I got my ass handed to me. Didn't even get to try my patented spine-cracking techniques on these guys. (I'm a chiropractor by day, hence "the Adjuster.")

Anyway, I was pretty much laid out on a pile of trash, about to get torn apart, when all of a sudden I heard that trademark howling laugh of his. It echoed down the alleyway, making the goons stop and look around for him.

Was he up the alley? Down the alley? Neither!

He leaped down from a fire escape above us, kicking both of them in the head at once on the fly. The goons staggered aside as he landed in a crouch on the wet pavement, surrounded by his fanned-out black cape.

There was the briefest of pauses. I remember thinking how cool he looked, how intimidating. Now that was a super-hero, I thought.

Then, he swirled into action again, tearing through the goons like they were a couple of rubber clowns. The one guy was crying by the time he was done with him; Partycrasher dislocated his left arm and broke his right leg in two places.

The other guy took a beating, too, but then he sneaked in a lucky shot with a cinderblock while Partycrasher was breaking his buddy's leg. Kerash! The block smashed against Partycrasher's head. The blow might have killed a less super-powered person, but it did leave him dazed, I could tell.

And that was my cue.

Springing off the trash pile, I reached into my pocket for the tube of ultra-potent deep-heating rub (my own personal formula). Bolting toward the goon as he raised the cinder block for another strike at Partycrasher, I squirted the rub right in his eyes. Wailing, he dropped the block and stumbled across the alley.

That gave Partycrasher all the time he needed to fully recover. Shaking off the effects of the block, he hurtled past me and took down the goon with style, pummeling him with a dozen blows to the upper body.

The goon teetered, then collapsed on the pavement.

Partycrasher turned to me. "Nice work."

I shrugged. "Any time."

Then, he cocked his head to one side, looking deep in thought. He stepped toward me and planted his hands on his hips. "Have you considered working with somebody? As a backup, say?"

I shook my head. My heart was pounding in my chest.

He reached out a black leather-gloved hand. "Well, would you? Consider it, I mean? I've been thinking about partnering up, and clearly, you can handle yourself in a fight."

I smiled. "Sure, I'll consider it." Then, on the spot, I made up my mind. "Actually, my answer is..."

* * *

WHO--OR WHAT--IS BRAINTEAZER?

"Y-you're not just my p-partner." My speech slurs as Partycrasher's unrelenting blows pound my face to pulp. "You're my b-best friend!"

Partycrasher hauls me up by the front of my costume and snarls the words in my face. "I'm not your partner, and I've never been your friend!" He looks mad enough to bite my nose off, I swear to God.

Tears trickle down the ragged maze of my cracked and lumpy cheeks. "It's Brainteazer, isn't it? Or Non Compos Mentis? One of them g-got inside your h-head, didn't they?"

"You delusional idiot!" He shakes me like a rag doll--a rag doll he hates with every fiber of his being. "For the last time! There. Is. No. Mind control."

I wince at him with all the deep and tragic affection welling up in my heart. "They're m-making you say that, I know..."

He shakes me again. "Brainteazer isn't even in the super-villain game anymore! He's in Silicon Valley working on mind-machine interface systems!"

"Th-that's what he wants you to think."

"And Non Compos Mentis died from a drug overdose!"

"They've totally t-taken you over...haven't they?" I shake my head slowly. "They've stolen...my p-partner...the g-greatest crimefighter this city has ever...the world has ever..."

"I'm not your partner!" He screams the words so loud it hurts. "All you've ever been is a deluded wannabe who I should've killed long..."

* * *

INTRODUCING THE ONE AND ONLY RAVE SIGNAL!

When did Partycrasher give me the fabulous Rave Signal? I'm glad you asked.

I was in the hospital, right? This was six months after Partycrasher and I joined forces. By then, we were both wearing the same costume and going by the same code name--all the better to confuse the underworld element, he always said.

Anyway, I was laid up after a solo battle with Ballbuster and the Let 'Em Eat Cake Gang. Imagine a band of seven goons all dressed like Marie Antoinette, but with weaponized hairpins and flying guillotines. As for Ballbuster, she was the ultimate butch lesbian with a fetish for striking below the belt.

I was left in a full body cast, more or less, confined to my hospital bed. My first night there, I heard a knock at the door, and it was Partycrasher. He swirled into the darkened room like a cloud of smoke.

"Hey there, chum." He brought in a bouquet of flowers and put it on the nightstand. "I'm so sorry about all this."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." I smiled and shrugged. "Comes with the territory."

He shook his head and sat down in a chair in the corner, in the shadows. "If only I'd gotten there quicker. If only I'd known...perhaps I could've dispatched Fugu and Amanita faster and raced across town to your side before they hurt you."

"You can't be everywhere at once," I said. "I'm just grateful to be able to do my part in your name. Taking an occasional beating is a price I'm willing to pay for that privilege."

He propped his elbows on the armrests and steepled his fingers against his chin. "Never again."

I panicked. "You're not firing me? You're not taking away my black and gray?"

For a long moment, I thought that was exactly what he meant. He said nothing, just stared at me from the shadowy corner.

Then, leather gloves creaking, he pushed himself up from the chair. "I will never fire you, my faithful ally." Reaching down, he unsnapped a pocket on his multi-belt and drew out a loop of gold metal. "But I will make you safer."

His black cape rustled as he crossed the moonbeam streaming in through the window. He held up the golden loop and turned it between his fingers.

"W-what is it?" I asked.

"The Rave Signal," said Partycrasher. "A secret signal that will alert me if you're in danger. It's an anklet." He held it out to me. "When the threat is too great, simply kick it, and the signal tone will be transmitted to my headgear." He patted the crown of his black cowl, which was threaded with sophisticated electronics. "I will be there in a flash."

I felt choked up when he handed it to me. "Thank you, Partycrasher. I can't tell you what this means to me..."

"No more than our alliance means to me." With that, he held out his gloved hand with the thumb and third finger extended--configured for the official Party Line handshake.

I returned the shake, twisting my hand clockwise as he turned his counterclockwise. "Criminals," I said, beginning our traditional oath, "your party is over."

"We're not invited," said Partycrasher, "and we're showing up anyway."

I grinned and held the Rave Signal tight in my fist. "I swear, I will use this wisely, and will never betray your..."

* * *

EVEN A HERO CAN GO INSANE!

"If y-you're not my partner...n-not my f-friend..." I struggle to get out the words as he pastes me again across the kisser. "Th-then why did you give me...the Rave Signal?"

Partycrasher throws his head back and rolls his eyes skyward. "How many times do I have to tell you? It was an ankle monitor, moron! It was supposed to alert law enforcement any time you violated the restraining order and got within thirty feet of me!"

Though I'm the one suffering and bleeding, I gaze up at him with pity. "They really g-got to you...didn't they? Got in d-deep." I shake my head at him. "Was it Thinkupine? Neuronicus?"

"Oh my God!" His eyes are huge as he glares down at me. "Can you imagine how sick to death I am of listening to your delirious bullshit?"

"I know. It w-was Heads-I-Win, wasn't it?" I gurgle up a mouthful of bloody foam. "He t-took control of you...once before...remember?"

"Why do I bother trying to talk sense to you?" Partycrasher hauls back a booted foot, aiming the toe at my gut. "You're hopeless. You're a lunatic."

"It can't be Linda Loveblind..." It hurts to move, but I curl up against the blow to come. "Sh-she's already...g-gone..."

Maybe it does have something to with Linda Loveblind. What I say pushes him over the top.

"Her name is Maria!" he screams as his steel-toed boot connects with my belly. "And you know damn well that she was my..."

* * *

FAIRER SEX OR TERROR SEX? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

We had a real golden age there for a while. The two Partycrashers cleaned up Isosceles City in a big way. The streets were safe again at night, can you imagine?

Together, Partycrasher and I took down Tic Tac Moe and the Greenstamps Gang...Fill-'Er-Up and Liver Spot...Coke Furnace and the Five Ingots. When no one else could stop Fifty-Three Flavors and the Himalayan from liquefying every bone within a hundred mile radius, guess who saved the day? And when Pharmacopia turned everyone in the city, except us, into drugged-out screaming zombies, only the Partycrashers managed to cancel his prescription.

We even saved the world once, I swear to God. When Core Sample resurrected Invicticus, the living soul of all fossil fuels, the planet was doomed. Only our quick thinking and decisive action stopped them from igniting every deposit of oil, gas, and coal in the world at once. (We used philosophy and alien weapons from Area 51, that's all I'll say.)

We made the headlines almost every day. The President gave us Congressional Medals of Honor. Little kids wrote more letters to us than to Santa Claus. It was the happiest time of my life.

Then, she showed up.

When we first met her, she was a super-villainess--part of the Chick Posse. They were really tearing up the town in those days, staging spectacular robberies and running rings around every cop and hero who tried to stop them. They even gave us a run for our money that first time at the Diamond Show robbery.

There were seven of them that day. They came to steal an exhibit of crown jewels from around the world, on loan for the Diamond Show's fiftieth anniversary.

Lady of the Night dazzled the guards with her feminine wiles. Sarah Firma used her control of dirt and rock to tunnel past the security system. When the alarms went off anyway, Catfight and Henny Penny exploded into action, battling guards and cops alike with feline and avian savagery. Fashionista used her control over articles of clothing to bind and imprison the first heroes on the scene. After that, Dee Flower cast an erotic spell over the mind of every man and woman in range.

And then there was her, Linda Loveblind. When Partycrasher and I charged onto the scene, she used her control of the sense of sight to render us useless. We kept fighting what we thought were Chick Posse members, but in actuality, we were only fighting each other.

Thankfully, though, I was able to break free before it was too late. Instead of fighting everyone who looked like a Chick Posse woman, I went after the one person who looked like my partner--the person who was in reality Linda Loveblind. After I knocked her out, Partycrasher saw clearly again, and the two of us made short work of the Posse.

But even as the cops hauled them off in power-nullifying bonds and helmets, I had a terrible feeling we hadn't seen the last of them--and of her in particular. Because I saw her flash a look at Partycrasher, and he didn't look away.

I'd seen that look before. I knew what it meant.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," I said as the paddy wagon pulled away.

"I do believe in rehabilitation, you know." Partycrasher wouldn't take his eyes off the wagon. "Perhaps there is hope for even the most hardened offenders."

I smacked him on the back. "You're not goin' soft on me now, are you?"

He watched the paddy wagon a moment more, then turned my way and grinned. "Never in a million years, chum."

"That one dame had an influence on you, I know. Just remember, her power is to control the way you see things."

"Thanks for your concern," said Partycrasher, "but nothing will ever get in the way of my never-ending war on crime. Not even..."

* * *

CAN A SUPER-HERO BROMANCE SURVIVE THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE?

"You can b-beat this." I force out the words between kicks to my stomach. "B-break Linda's...evil spell."

"Her name wasn't Linda!" He bends down and grabs me by the throat. "Say it! Say her actual name!"

"I b-believe...in you." I choke as his hand tightens. "I will never stop...being your..."

"I want to hear you say it!" He shakes me by the neck. "Just once! Say her fucking name!"

I realize something now, for the first time: there might not be a way out of this for me. Whoever's controlling him, they've got their hooks set deep. Nothing I've said has shaken his belief in his twisted version of reality.

"Say it!" He looks like he's out of his mind as he bellows the words. "Her name is Maria! Maria Maria Maria! And what was she?" He jerks me by the neck again. "Tell me what she was to me!"

"P-Partygirl." Just saying the word makes me feel sick. So much hate, bubbling within every cell of my broken body. "She was P-P--"

"No she was not!" He tightens his grip to the point of near-strangulation. "You know damn well she was my..."

* * *

A BOLD NEW HEROINE JOINS THE PARTY LINE LINEUP!

I'll never forget when Partycrasher said these words to me: "That's right. Linda Loveblind has gone straight. And she's changed her code name to Partygirl."

I'd never been so sorry about being right in my life. I'd known from that day at the Diamond Show that we hadn't seen the last of Linda Loveblind. I'd caught the look she'd shared with Partycrasher as the cops had led her to the paddy wagon, and I'd known.

Now here she was, standing in our own secretheadquarters, I shit you not. Linda Loveblind herself, card-carrying member of the crime-loving Chick Posse, was in the heart of the one-and-only Party Creche.

She might have been wearing a new costume--a modified little black dress with a black domino mask and red-lined black cape--but she wasn't fooling me. I wasn't the one thinking with my nads.

I knew that her being there did not bode well for the Partycrasher Squared team.

"I look forward to working with you, Tim." Linda held out one black-gloved hand.

I wouldn't take it. I couldn't believe the words that had just come out of her mouth. "Oh my God." I gaped at Partycrasher. "You told her my secret identity?"

"She needs to know," he told me. "Now that she's a member of the Party Line, she needs..."

"No!" I remember stumbling to a chair and dropping into it. "You can't just let her join like that." I remember my hands shaking, my heart pounding. I remember feeling sad and scared and sick all at once.

I remember thinking that this was the end of the world.

"Don't worry, chum." Partycrasher walked over and patted my back. "It'll be all right. I promise."

But he was wrong. So very, very wrong.

Our golden age ended that day. Everything went downhill from there.

Every adventure she was part of turned into a disaster one way or another. When we took on Extreme Umbrage and the Walking Tire Fire, an entire neighborhood went up in flames because Linda let herself be taken hostage. A few days later, Dr. Scatological got the drop on me because I was distracted by Linda's screams for help; I ended up with a severe case of temporary Tourette syndrome that made me blurt obscenities in front of a TV news crew.

Sword-Swallower and Haggis Master got away from us twice--twice--because Linda insisted she understood their cypher clues better than Partycrasher did. Wild Goose led us all the way to the Canadian Maritimes for the same reason, in search of a doomsday device that didn't exist. Then there was the day Trophy Wife, MILF, and The Mammarian caught us in a trap that never would have worked in the pre-Linda days. We had to be rescued by firefighters, extracted from a giant party favor with the jaws of life.

As for the Win, Place, and Show affair, I don't even want to talk about it. The day three tenth rate losers like them could trick us into a collapsing glue factory that nearly got us all killed was the day we became a true embarrassment to the crimefighting community.

Did Partycrasher even seem to notice how far we'd fallen? No, he did not. He seemed perfectly happy throughout all our debacles, as if he were having fun. The public displays of affection with Linda grew more and more obnoxious, and the baby-talk just got more sickening.

Still, in my heart, I never gave up on him. I always believed I could somehow save him and restore the Partycrasher Squared team to its glory days.

Even when he told me the big news. Even then.

"Partygirl and I are getting married, chum!" He told me this in the Party Creche one night, when we were alone. "Can you believe it?"

I could, unfortunately. It wasn't like I hadn't seen it coming. "Huh."

Grinning, he grabbed me by the shoulders. "Well, aren't you going to congratulate me?"

I wondered what to say. Should I let the moment pass and play along, pretending I was happy for him? Wouldn't that just strengthen her hold on him?

"Don't do it." I shook my head grimly. "Please, Partycrasher. Don't do it."

He frowned in disbelief. "I thought you'd be happy for me." He let go of my shoulders. "I was going to ask you to be my best man."

"Can't you see what she's done to you?" I said. "How she's gotten inside your head?"

"It's called love, Tim. It's a good thing."

"Listen to me!" I grabbed hold of his upper arms and gave him a shake. "If someone managed to brainwash you, would you even know it? If your mind was being controlled, how could you tell what you were really feeling?"

He looked hurt. "I'm not brainwashed, Tim."

"But what if someone had warped your perceptions? It's what she does, Partycrasher. It's her super-power!"

Partycrasher's expression was one of wounded betrayal. "Don't do this, Tim." He shook free of my grip and stepped back from me. "Please don't do this."

"Wait." I knew I was losing him. Her influence was too strong. "What if I asked you...to choose? Choose between me and her?"

He stared at me for a long moment, and then his expression changed from hurt to pity. "Don't ask me that, Tim." He turned and walked toward the Partymobile. "I don't think you'll like the answer."

So that was it. Now I knew where I stood. I had taken the full measure of Linda's power over him, and all was clear to me. In a contest of wills, she would always win.

But even then, I still did not give up on him. Because I still had one ace up my sleeve, one way to stop his final descent and corruption. One way to thwart Linda's final triumph.

And the sweet irony of it all was that Partycrasher himself had given it to me in the first place. He was the deliverer of his own salvation in the form of the astounding...

* * *

WHEN PARTYCRASHERS COLLIDE!

It's harder than ever to force out the words. "Y-you can't b-be...legally married...to a c-creature...of p-pure, unearthly...evil."

"You delusional..." Partycrasher kicks me in the belly with what feels like all his strength. "...psychopathic..." Then he kicks me in the chest with staggering force. "...maniac!" Next, he hauls back his foot and kicks me in what's left of my face. "She was a woman! She was my wife!" Then, another kick to the face for good measure. "And you...you stalked her and you..."

"P-protected you." My jaw won't move right anymore. I think it's broken. "I d-did what you t-told me...when you g-gave me the..."

"I didn't give you anything! You stole it!"

"Y-you said...if you ever f-fell...under c-control...of an evil f-force..." I suck in a deep breath and push myself to keep going. "If you were ever t-turned...against the cause of j-j-justice...I should use it on you. I sh-should use the..."

"There is no such thing as a De-Evilizer!" Partygoer kicks me in the face again. "It was only ever an ordinary..."

* * *

ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN, ONE SHOT!

When I kicked the door in, I found Linda sitting in a chair, waiting for me. She was wearing a red, satiny gown with arcane symbols embroidered in black along the low neckline. "Oh, hello, Tim." She put aside the book she'd been reading and smiled. "What can I do for you?"

Without a word, I pulled the De-Evilizer from its holster on my hip. The gleaming silver metal of its body felt warm in my grip.

"I was wondering when you'd get around to this." Linda threw her head back and laughed. "Come to cut your boy loose, have you?"

The De-Evilizer had a smooth, curved body with a long barrel. As I pointed it at her, it pulsed and glowed faintly with strange alien energies like some kind of a living thing.

"Well, you're too fucking late." Linda rose from the chair. Her skin began to turn crimson as she took a step toward me. Her eyes gleamed with yellow light, and her ears grew points. "He's mine and he always will be. I have taken the world's greatest super-hero and made him my bitch. And there's nothing you or anyone can ever do about it!"

My hand shook as she strolled across the apartment that had once been his alone. It was her territory now, her turf. And Partycrasher was helpless to resist her.

If I didn't act quickly, he would stay that way. If I didn't do what I'd come there to do, he would be forever lost, and I...

I was sure I would be dead at her feet. Now that I'd played my final card, now that I'd seen her true form, she couldn't afford to leave me alive.

But then I'd known that before I'd walked in the door, hadn't I?

Reaching up with my free hand, I braced my grip and steadied the De-Evilizer. I thought back to the day, years before, when Partycrasher himself had given it to me.

I want you to have this, he'd told me. It's extraterrestrial technology from Area 51.

At first, I'd stared at the thing without taking it. What does it do?

Destroys evil, he'd said. Burns it away with cleansing fire.

Shouldn't you keep it? I'd asked him.

He'd pushed it toward me more insistently. It's for you, Tim. In case an evil force takes control of my mind. In case I ever turn against the cause of justice.

Impossible, I'd said. That could never happen.

Remember last month, when Power of Suggestion and the Hypnoid made me fight you? It can happen again, only much worse. With that, Partycrasher had pressed the weapon into my hand. You must be my fail-safe, do you understand? Don't let my awesome powers be used against the world I've sworn to defend.

Gazing at the De-Evilizer, I'd closed my fingers around it. I could never...

You will do what you must! He'd thrown himself forward then and hugged me. Swear it!

And so I'd sworn it. And now here I was, ready to use the De-Evilizer for the first time. Praying with all my heart that it would work, that it would save him.

It was his last chance, and I knew it. Our last chance.

"So go ahead!" A forked tongue flickered between Linda's lips, which were now literally on fire. "Shoot your load, Tiny Tim! Go for the gusto!"

As she strode toward me, sneering, her now-crimson body grew taller. Snakes wrapped around her arms and legs, squirming in continuous motion. Leathery batlike wings burst out of her back and expanded behind her, flapping ominously.

This, then, was what she'd been all along...what I'd sensed her true nature to be. She was a demoness, a she-devil, a creature belched up from the fiery pits of Hell itself. No wonder she'd been able to use trickery so effectively. No wonder she'd been able to cloud Partycrasher's mind, to fill it with delusions.

"What's the matter?" Linda conjured a flaming whip out of thin air and cracked it in my direction. "Aren't you man enough to take me?"

I was scared, no doubt about it--but also determined. Partycrasher was depending on me...and through him, through the great feats he was yet destined to accomplish, the wholeworld was depending on me, too.

"Come on, Partypooper! Give it your best shot!" Linda cracked the whip again and howled with laughter. "But you better make it a good one, because that's all you'll get!"

My hands tightened around the De-Evilizer. There was no trigger to pull; it would activate by mental command.

Again, she snapped the whip. The blazing tip sizzled past my left ear, but I didn't flinch. In the name of Partycrasher and all he stood for, I would not be deterred.

I prepared to give the mental command.

Then, suddenly, the apartment changed around me. In the blink of an eye, everything was different.

The whole living room was brighter. Every inch of it seemed cleaner and sharper--as if I'd been looking through an imperfect lens, and everything had been slightly out of focus until now.

As for Linda, she no longer looked like a demonic she-devil. Gone were the wings, yellow eyes, crimson skin, and forked tongue. Instead of a red gown embroidered with mystic symbols, she wore her Partygirl costume, the little black dress with crimson-lined cape and black fishnet stockings.

And the look on her face was nothing at all like what I'd seen earlier. Instead of gleeful wickedness, I saw total surprise and fear.

"No, Tim!" Her voice trembled as she said it. "Please, don't! We can work this out, I know we can!"

"Linda?" I was so surprised, I lowered the gun. "What...?"

"I want to help you, Tim! We both do!" Breathless, she pressed a hand against her chest. "You're part of the family, and that will never..."

"No!" I swung the gun up, certain that this was all one of Linda's illusions. "You won't fool me that easily, Loveblind!"

Suddenly, the room shifted again. This time, it grew brighter still. The furnishings looked newer and more expensive. The carpet went from brown to white, the end tables from stained wood to glass and chrome.

As for Linda, she was dressed in black silk pajamas. "Why are you doing this, Tim?" She was crying and clutching her stomach. Blood welled up around her hands, dripping onto the carpet at her feet. "Oh God, why?"

I shook my head hard but didn't lower the De-Evilizer. "Nice try, bitch!"

How many more illusions was she going to bombard me with? How much more innocent could she make herself appear?

I wasn't going to wait around to find out.

Clenching my teeth, I aimed the De-Evilizer at Linda's forehead. I took a breath to steady myself.

And then I gave the mental command.

Linda of the black silk pajamas tumbled toward the carpet. On her way down, she became Linda of the Partygirl outfit, gazing at me from behind her domino mask.

And when she hit the floor, she became the she-devil again, her entire body hissing as the De-Evilizer burned away the foul darkness festering in her soul.

At which point the front door flew open and Partycrasher charged into the apartment. "Nooo!" He looked from me to Linda, then back again. "Put it down, Tim! For God's sake, put down the..."

* * *

TRUTH IS THE GREATEST SUPER-POWER OF THEM ALL!

Partycrasher gives me another kick in the chest. "Why you hated her so much, I'll never know." The next one, he plants in my groin. "Frankly, I don't much give a shit anymore."

I squirm on the ground, groaning from the pain. I can't even manage a scream anymore. "Sh-she was...t-turning you...evil..."

"I said..." He kicks me again. "...I don't care." And again.

"B-but the De-Evilizer..."

"...was the .45 automatic that was stolen from my apartment in a break-in three years ago!" Suddenly, he leans down and lifts me off the pavement by my blood-soaked cape. "You killed my wife with my own gun!"

I try to shake my head, which comes out more like a twitch. "S-saved...you..."

"Saved me?" He hauls me close so we're face to face. "You ruined me, you demented son of a bitch. You took the one thing I ever cared about in this..."

I close my eyes. I try to shut him out.

What if this is all an illusion? What if Linda Loveblind sank her hooks in me, too...and if only I concentrate hard enough, the real world will peek through and I can see...

* * *

HONORING THE PARTNER OF A LIFETIME.

As I stand on the dais and gaze out at the crowd, I feel like I'm going to cry. Other than the day Partycrasher invited me to join the Party Line, this is by far the finest day of my life.

Every super-hero in Isosceles City is assembled here today. I see Hericane, Mardi Gras, Overtime, Stalwart...Widening Gyre, Thunder Perfect Mind, The Jupitarian...Flotilla, Red Baron, Carpet Bomber, Concorde...Retcon, CEO, King David, Old Glory. They all gaze up at me, grinning with approval--some winking, some giving me a thumbs-up.

Then, Partycrasher walks out and stands in front of me, facing the crowd. "We are gathered here today to bestow the ultimate honor that the super-hero community can give." He lifts up a glittering medal on a red velvet yoke, holds it over his head. "The Order of the Golden Mask."

Everyone applauds at once. Some of the heroes whoop and whistle. Mardi Gras shoots up fireworks.

"I bestow this award upon the man who saved me from Linda Loveblind, the femme fatale who infiltrated my super-team...and my personal life." Partycrasher turns and smiles at me. "I bestow this award upon the truest and most faithful hero ever to fight crime by my side."

He walks over and drapes the medal around my neck.

"I have never been more proud of you," he says softly as he kisses my cheek. And then he turns to the audience again and raises his arms high. "Please join me now in recognizing this courageous hero for his outstanding achievement and the statement it makes about the true nature of heroism in our..."

* * *

THE LAST STAND OF A HERO'S HERO.

Partycrasher's voice brings me back. "Maybe you think I won't cross the line tonight." His eyes come into focus again, glaring out from the holes in his black cowl. "Maybe you think I take my oath too seriously to ever kill a man in cold blood."

He's still holding me up by my cape like a hunk of dead meat. My body's so broken at this point, I can't move a muscle. I can't feel a thing below my waist, which I think is a major blessing.

"Well, guess what?" Suddenly, his fist lashes out and punches right through my chest. "There's an addendum to the oath. File it under super-hero trivia."

I can feel...I can feel...

My eyes roll up in their sockets. I can feel his hand clutching my heart.

"This addendum," he says as his fingers start to squeeze. "It renders the oath null and void in the event of a murdered spouse." His grip continues to tighten. "What does this mean in plain English?"

"P-please." There are so many things I want to say, so many things I need to tell him. A cascade, a multitude of things.

If only I could speak a full sentence.

"Translation," he says. "I am de-evilizing you."

Then his grip on my heart grows tighter still. His fist clenches, and I know my heart is about to burst, about to break for the very last time.

And I close my eyes and strain with all my might to see beyond the illusion once more. Perhaps, if I can shatter this implanted delusion, I can step through into the better world Loveblind sought to deny me, the world in which instead of dying I am...

* * *

ANOTHER NIGHT IN ISOSCELES CITY...

Partycrasher pats my chest and smiles. "Ready to hit the street, chum?"

I pull the black cowl down over my face and nod. "So much crime, so little time."

"Say." He cocks his head and points an index finger at me. "That's a good one. I just might use that again."

"Be my guest." I laugh and unbuckle my seat belt. "So do you think we'll catch up with her tonight, Partycrasher?"

"Linda Loveblind?" He shrugs as he pops open his own seat belt. "Hard to say. All we can do is remain ever-vigilant for any sign of that mind-warping Mata Hari."

"I suppose you're right." Reaching into the glove compartment, I pull out the De-Evilizer gun. "But I'm taking this just in case."

We both chuckle, and then we leap out of the Partymobile without opening the doors.

The second my boots hit the pavement, I feel lighter. This is where I belong. This is how it was meant to be.

All my troubles float away as I start the oath. "Criminals, your party is over."

"We're not invited," joins in Partycrasher, "and we're showing up anyway."

We give each other a high five. Then, we hear a woman scream from a nearby alley.

"A citizen in danger!" says Partycrasher. "Some foul fiend at work, no doubt!"

"Let's go!" My feet are already moving before I say the words.

As we run toward the alley, the streetlight behind us flickers once...then twice. Looking back over my shoulder, I see it flicker a third time, and go out.

I stop running, staring up at that darkened lamp, feeling as if I'm forgetting something. Something important.

But then I figure what could be more important than fighting crime? And I charge off after Partycrasher, dashing under the stars winking in the indigo night, stars so bright and close, I swear I could pluck them right from the sky if only I outstretched my black-gloved hand.

CASE CLOSED.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robert Jeschonek is an envelope-pushing, USA Today bestselling author whose fiction, comics, and non-fiction have been published around the world. His stories have appeared in Clarkesworld, Galaxy's Edge, StarShipSofa, Pulphouse, and many other publications. He has written official Star Trek and Doctor Who fiction and has scripted comics for DC, AHOY, and others. His young adult slipstream novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, won the Forward National Literature Award and was named one of Booklist's Top Ten First Novels for Youth. He also won an International Book Award, a Scribe Award for Best Original Novel, and the grand prize in Pocket Books' Strange New Worlds contest. Visit him online at www.bobscribe.com. You can also find him on Facebook and follow him as @TheFictioneer on Twitter. Subscribe to the Blastoff Books Newsletter: http://newsletter.blastoffbooks.net/. For free fiction, join Robert’s Readers on Facebook right here.

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SPECIAL PREVIEW: FORCED RETIREMENT

What if Alzheimer's struck the World's Mightiest Hero? Find out in this super-powered story, now available for your favorite e-reading device or app.

Hericane was pursued by her murderously psychotic super hero father, Epitome, for over an hour before she finally realized that he thought he was chasing himself.

It was something he said that finally tipped her off, and it was not exactly hard to interpret. “You don’t think I’ll kill you because you’re me?” he screamed as he flew after her at lightning speed. “Then you’re deadwrong!”

This just brought up another question. Instead of asking herself, “Why is my father trying to kill me?” Hericane now wondered, “Why is my father trying to kill someone he thinks is himself?”