Kummer's short E-Book

Rolf Kummer

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 138

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Do foxes wear sneakers? How do you convince a New York judge of your innocence? And why are two policemen enjoying freshly baked fruit cake at dawn? You will find the answers to these questions in Rolf Kummer's cheerful short stories. In one anecdote, it rains confetti on the history teacher; in another, Kummer takes a critical look at the Swiss health authority's Covid vaccination strategy. Grandmothers make an appearance, as do parents, brothers, daughters, uncles, aunts, cousins and, of course, his great love. Kummer has combined 33 real-life and imagined stories in his first book – 33 times he takes readers on a journey through his country and his life. And finally, a message from space also turns up...

Leseprobe

Quote

***

"So don't go to the prince,

if you weren't called!"

This was the favorite saying of one of my first superiors at the PTT General Directorate1. He told me: "Just do it, just don't always ask. I will undoubtedly be called out if they don't agree with my decisions."

I have also adopted this attitude wherever possible and have never regretted it to this day.

***

Foreword

I came up with the idea of writing this book shortly after I retired in May 2019.

I have always enjoyed observing the behavior of my fellow human beings in very different life situations. Based on such observations and memories, I wrote down my short stories in this book. On the one hand, they are based entirely on true events that I have experienced; on the other hand, I have enriched various experiences or observations with my imagination.

The 33 short stories and the short or slightly longer interludes are intended to make you think, smile or both. Why 33 and not 30 or 40? The reason is simple: as a family, we lived in a house with the number 33 for over 20 years, so the number 33 has become a family number and will remain so.

I hope you, dear reader, enjoy reading this book.

1 - The police, your friend and connoisseur

Our dear mother was a very good cook. She often told us children about her household apprenticeship, where she was initiated into the secrets of kitchen and household work at a young age. As a family, we were able to benefit daily from these carefully learned and lasting skills. We all appreciated our mother's cooking skills. She also knew how to always try out new things and then use us as her first test subjects. We were never disappointed.

Fruit tarts were clearly one of my mother's many culinary strengths. As children and as a family, we always had the pleasure of tasting freshly baked fruit tarts throughout the year. The lifespan of these pastries was always extremely short. No sooner were they on the table, whether for lunch or dinner, than piece after piece disappeared through our mouths into the digestive tracts of our hungry bodies. Plum, apricot, rhubarb or cherry cake, to name just a few varieties, all suffered the fate of a short existence. My mother had to restrain us children and teenagers so that the people invited to dinner could also enjoy a slice of the delicious cake. There were never any leftovers at such meals. Never!

These fruit tarts were also a big hit for our relatives. On nice days, we regularly met up at weekends in our garden2, which is surrounded by beautiful countryside. There were often between 15 and 20 of us at the table. For dessert, our mother would serve the aforementioned fruit tarts, with or without cream. Everyone was always delighted and filled their stomachs to the brim with these delicacies. Everyone always thanked our mother for all her hard work and love. Our mother was often in the kitchen very early on a Sunday morning so that the fruit tarts were ready in time for transportation to the garden.

Many years later, when our mother was living alone in a smaller apartment, it happened that early one Sunday morning, when it was still dark outside, a police car drove slowly past her apartment block. The two police officers on duty in the car were surprised that a light was already on in one of the apartments at that time of night. As there wasn't much going on in the streets at this early hour and it was generally quite quiet, the two guardians of the law decided to get to the bottom of the matter. They parked the police car at the side of the road and rang the doorbell of the apartment where the light was on. The door opened and our mother looked puzzled into the faces of the two friendly smiling policemen. "Has something bad happened?" she asked immediately, a little startled. "No, no, not at all," the uniformed officers reassured our mother. "We just saw the light in your apartment and wanted to check that everything was OK, just to be on the safe side," they replied, almost in chorus. Our mother couldn't help but smile, explained the reason to the early visitors and invited them into the kitchen. On entering the apartment, the two policemen said that it smelled excellent. When asked if they would like to eat a piece of fresh fruit tart, the law enforcement officers immediately replied: "Yes, I would love to." So they sat down at the round kitchen table.

And then the two policemen had the same experience as all of us. It wasn't just one piece. Oh, no. In the end, the whole fruit tart was gone. The two policemen thanked her profusely and left the apartment well fed, fortified and in an even better mood. As soon as our mother had locked the door again, she had to put on her pants respectively her skirt again and baked a new fruit tart to replace the one that had been spit out by the authorities.

The unexpected visit of the two law enforcement officers was of course the talk of the day on this sunny Sunday in our garden. We were all amused by this unusual experience for our mother.

The two policemen naturally told their colleagues at work about their early morning fruit tart-experience. As a result, a police patrol would occasionally stray to our mother's front door at dawn on a Sunday.

***

The good Lord sees everything.

But our dear neighbors see much more.

Hand-written inscription on a wooden plaque that was clearly visible on a mobile home on a campsite in Upper Valais.

***

2 - Fox, you stole the shoe

As children, we often sang the well-known song "Fox, you stole the goose" at the top of our voices in kindergarten. 60 years later, the following incident made me think back to this nursery rhyme.

On a beautiful late summer evening in September 2023, my wife and I rode our bikes - not e-bikes, mind you - to St. Peter's Island3. At this time of year, there were very few pedestrians around. We enjoyed the wonderful and peaceful evening atmosphere, the largely untouched nature and the peace and quiet. Simply magnificent. We always enjoy coming back here to take our steel horses4 for a spin around this peninsula in Lake Biel. Every time we do, we can observe and photograph all kinds of animals and natural spectacles.

There is a small, picturesque bay by the boat station in the north of St. Peter's Island. We went there again today and sat down at one of the mostly empty tables at the Sunset Bistro. The bistro was closed, but there were still tables and chairs outside, inviting us to relax. Apart from us, there were only a few people still there, refreshing themselves in the cool waters of Lake Biel or enjoying the last rays of sunshine on the deckchairs. We took our apples out of our rucksacks and soaked up the evening atmosphere and the fascinating view over the lake.

And suddenly he appeared. A small fox crept out of the forest behind us and strolled happily and without any inhibitions or fear of contact between the chairs and tables of the bistro. He kept sniffing the floor. It was obvious that the little guy was hungry and looking for food. We all watched the clever animal and were amazed at his trusting nature. He was fit and steady on his feet, so we had no rabies to worry about.

Completely unexpectedly, the young fox grabbed one of the bathers' sneakers under a table and disappeared into the forest. My wife had observed this and exclaimed: "He's grabbed a sneaker!" At the same time, she couldn't help but laugh at the behavior of this little fox. The man who owned the sneaker got out of the water as quickly as possible and ran barefoot behind my wife after the thieving fox. He didn't just run off with his prey, no. He kept pausing, looking back in the direction of my wife and the robbed bather. The next time the little fox looked back, my wife attracted the cheeky robber's attention with her leftover apple. She showed him the piece of fruit and threw it into the forest near the fox. The hungry, nimble fox immediately dropped the sneaker from his snout and jumped in the direction where the apple remnant had fallen to the ground. This was the opportunity for the owner of the sneaker to collect it immediately before the little fox changed his mind. Lucky for him. The man picked up his sneaker and ran back to the lake, relieved. In the meantime, the hungry fox had found my wife's piece of fruit and ate it with relish and immediately.

The little fox had something to eat and the swimmer was back in possession of his two sneakers. A real win-win situation, thanks to my wife, who reacted quickly and at least as cleverly as the little fox.

The bather thanked my better half for her skillful and considered intervention. That had gone well. It didn't take much and the little robber would have disappeared into the forest with the sneaker he'd captured, never to be seen again.

Incidentally, we never saw the small, trusting fox again. Perhaps he had had enough of sneakers and was looking for a territory where he could find edible prey.

***

God created time,

He said nothing about haste.

My dear father said these words again and again in very different situations. He was always the calming influence in the family, even in hectic situations.

***

3 - The summiteers

As teenagers, we spent several vacations in Grindelwald in the Bernese Oberland. After our father died, my mother took us, our grandmother and one of our aunts on vacation to Grindelwald. We all loved the fantastic mountain scenery around this place, which at the time was not yet overcrowded with tourists. We rented an apartment in a cozy chalet. From the small balcony, we had a direct view of the north face of the Eiger. We loved standing on the balcony and watching the violent mountain thunderstorms, seeing and hearing the lightning and thunder. It was always a very special spectacle with the north face of the Eiger in the background. During our vacations, we explored the beautiful region around this famous tourist destination on foot. In the end, we thought we knew all the accessible excursion destinations inside out.

My brother Däni and I were therefore looking for a new sporting challenge in this area and finally found it in summiting. We chose a destination and then tried to reach it on foot as quickly as possible. We always wanted to beat the walking times indicated on the yellow signposts. We usually reached our destination after half or two-thirds of the specified time. We were always wearing good shoes, but usually without drinking water and provisions. Trekking poles weren't even known back then. We were both as fit as a fiddle and didn't need any aids to get us to our high-altitude destinations. It was always a great satisfaction for us when we set a new record time. At the top of the mountain, we enjoyed the view, took a short break and then ran back down into the valley as quickly as possible. Yes, we ran! You read that right. We climbed the various peaks on the run, so logically we also ran down the paths again.

Our mother, grandmother and aunt were always amazed to see how quickly we could get around the hills and mountains around Grindelwald. Even Mr. Bleuel, the owner of the chalet where we rented our apartment, eventually got wind of it and spoke to us about our records. He had grown up in Grindelwald, was an experienced mountaineer and, at the age of 65, knew the region much better than us vacation guests from the Unterland. He wasn't as enthusiastic about our records as the family. You have to take your time in the mountains, he said, as there are always dangers lurking. Something can happen quickly and usually when you don't expect it. He suggested we hike together to the Stieregg hut5. This hike would take us over ladders past the Grindelwald glacier. Of course, this sounded like a little adventure to my brother and me and we were very happy to agree to Mr. Bleuel's suggestion after we had obtained our mother's consent.

The following morning, at an early hour, we two young summiteers set off with Mr. Bleuel. Our rucksacks were perfectly filled with provisions and water bottles. We hiked, no running. Mr. Bleuel didn't need a map, he knew the tricky passages and always gave us the necessary instructions. The highlight of this hike was clearly the ascent over various ladders, which were mounted on steep rocks and led close to the upper Grindelwald glacier. Thank goodness my brother and I were free from giddiness. Our private mountain guide's motto on the ladders was: "Climb slowly, step by step, always hold on tightly to the rungs with both hands, don't look down or don't look down too much." We climbed up rung by rung without any protection. This climb was a great, unforgettable experience for my brother and me. Once we reached the top, we walked a few more kilometers in a magnificent mountain world. Mr. Bleuel opened our eyes to the wonders of nature in his own way. "If you're constantly running up and down the hiking trails in the mountains, you summiteers haven't really seen any of the beauty." How right he was with this statement.

This great experience with Mr. Bleuel led to my brother and I giving up our mountaineering and adapting our hiking pace to the general public again.

***

Just don't rush.

Work does not run away from you.

I read this statement in a popular restaurant. How true, I can fully confirm this after all these years in my day-to-day work.

***

4 - The coffee cows

In the fall of 1973, our cousin Elisabeth was on vacation with us in Grindelwald. Elisabeth was seven years old at the time. She was a bright girl and very interested in everything that was going on around her. Thanks to the glorious weather, we were able to take long walks and hikes in this wonderful mountain world every day, much to everyone's delight.