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- Herausgeber: Crystal Gate Publishing
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Serie: The Golden Path
- Sprache: Englisch
Life Questions, Spiritual Answers: Spiritual Guidance for Everyday Life This book offers thoughtful spiritual perspectives on 171 questions that touch on many aspects of life, helping you reflect on the challenges, opportunities, and mysteries that shape your journey. Organized into 19 chapters, the questions explore topics like self-esteem, personal growth, mindfulness, relationships, work, health, success, happiness, and spirituality. Each answer is presented with clarity and simplicity, blending spiritual wisdom with practical insights to help you find meaning and navigate your daily life with greater awareness. Whether you're looking to deepen your understanding of yourself, approach life's complexities with a calmer mind, or explore how spirituality can guide you in everyday decisions, this book provides a relatable and uplifting resource. Let Life Questions, Spiritual Answers inspire you to build a stronger connection to yourself, others, and the world around you, creating a life of balance, understanding, and purpose.
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Preface
First of all, welcome to my book!
This book is intended to guide you on a journey of self-discovery, offering 171 questions grouped into 19 chapters that explore the many aspects of life, answered in a rather spiritual fashion, concentrating on spiritual values, moral values, and virtues. These questions often arise in our minds from a deep longing within us—a desire to evolve, to overcome life’s challenges, to know more, and to gain that much needed clarity about our purpose and experiences.
The chapters in this book cover a multitude of themes that touch every aspect of our existence: self-esteem and self-worth, transcending the ego, personal transformation, motivation, inspiration, self-discipline, freedom, joy, mindfulness, relationships, work, social life, health, money, success, happiness, and spirituality. Each chapter seeks to address these universal areas with a spiritual, moral and even psychological lens, offering insights that can resonate with our heart and clarify our minds.
I have approached these questions with simplicity and clarity, distilling spiritual principles into practical guidance. The aim is to provide you with tools to deepen your practice, nurture your well-being, sustain your personal growth, and cultivate a way in which freedom, joy, and harmony can abound inside your life. Whether you seek to better understand yourself, navigate life's stream with ease, or awaken the courage to become your highest self, this book is a gentle and genuine guide to help you find your way.
May these pieces of advice inspire you to embrace your own transformation, to explore the boundless beauty of your mind and soul, and to uncover the profound meaning woven into the fabric of life. My hope is that these reflections will bring you more peace, joy, insight, and more than that, a renewed sense of purpose and courage to tackle life with new-found inspiration.
Namaste
Chapter 1
Self-esteem & self-worth
Question 1
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is our profound capacity to perceive and understand our intrinsic value, talents, and abilities exactly as they are, uncolored by the distortions of bias, preconceptions, or mental filters. It represents a clear and grounded awareness of our true self, seen through the lens of honesty, compassion, and untainted reality. To hold self-esteem is to see yourself clearly, without exaggeration or minimization, like gazing into an unblemished mirror that reflects your being as it is—not as others dictate or as you imagine it should be. So self-esteem is our unique and true image of ourselves that we can see when our mind is at its clearest point and when our heart is clean and pure of all distorted emotions that it can feel.
The relationship between self-esteem and well-being is inseparable. When your well-being flourishes—when you feel healthy, fulfilled, and balanced—it becomes natural to regard yourself with clarity and positivity. In such a state, the judgments or opinions of others lose their power to define you and you see yourself simply as you are, in the new light of each and every day that comes. Your self-perception is untainted by external noise, allowing you to witness your worth with unclouded eyes. Yet, when well-being diminishes, the ability to see oneself truthfully often falters. Negative influences or critical voices, whether internal or external, can overshadow your sense of self-worth, leading to a lesser understanding of your own value.
One of the greatest challenges about self-esteem arises when individuals become overly attuned to the expectations of others. If you find yourself habitually seeking approval or becoming a people-pleaser, your sense of self may begin to fragment. Instead of recognizing your inherent value, you may begin to view yourself through the lens of others’ desires, criticisms, or validations. This reliance on external definitions can undermine and distort heavily your self-esteem, leading to a strongly biased perception of who you really are. The main antidote to this trap lies in self-awareness—an essential foundation for authentic self-esteem.
Awareness, mindfulness, and self-consciousness are the cornerstones of building and sustaining a healthy self-esteem. When you cultivate awareness, you are better equipped to observe your thoughts, emotions, and actions without judgment, and start making friends with who you really are. This clarity enables you to differentiate between your true self and the layers of conditioning, expectations, or assumptions imposed by others or even the society at large. With mindful awareness, you come to see yourself as a whole being—imperfect yet complete, flawed yet worthy, with lots of shortcomings yet true to your core. In this state of consciousness, you honor your body, mind, and soul as they are, free from comparisons or unrealistic ideals, and you just live your life motivated not about your own (ego) qualities, but motivated just because you get a chance to live just another beautiful day under our sun. In this state of truthfulness you discover yourself through everything that surrounds you. By stopping judging yourself and starting being compassionate towards yourself, you start embracing each and every aspect of your self with dignity, peace, wonder, and start living as opposed to judge or think all of the time.
True self-esteem arises when you embrace yourself with acceptance and authenticity. It is not about creating an inflated or false image of perfection but about standing firmly in the truth of who you really are. It invites you to align with your already-existing inner values and purpose in life, rather than seeking external validation or comparison with others. To strengthen your self-esteem, it is helpful to cultivate practices that encourage constant reflection and self-compassion, such as journaling, meditation, or simply taking moments to appreciate your unique journey.
In the spiritual sense, self-esteem reflects the recognition of your divine nature, the spark of the divinity within you. It is the acknowledgment that your worth is not solely based on achievements, possessions, or accolades but on the simple fact of your existence. It is more important to be, than to do, or to think. Just being, witnessing the beauty around us and inside our souls is enough for us to live a fulfilled life. By fostering self-esteem, we do not only enhance our personal well-being but also contribute to a more compassionate and harmonious relationship with the world around us. Self-esteem, then, is not a destination but an evolving journey—a continual practice of seeing ourselves clearly and embracing our true nature and value with an openhearted awareness.
Question 2
What is self-worth?
Self-worth is the intrinsic value that you recognize in yourself, an acknowledgment of your innate qualities, talents, and wisdom without attaching it to external validations or achievements. It is a profound understanding that your worth is inherent and unchanging, rooted in the core goodness that exists within every individual. At its essence, self-worth reflects the quiet, enduring belief in your own value, free from the need for comparison or the false pride that often seeks to exaggerate one’s importance. Pride, which is a frequent companion to our perceived value, can always cloud the purity of our self-worth, leading us to seek external approval or validation to feel whole and to find our values. True self-worth, however, requires no boasting or display—it simply is, it simply exists, in the untainted image of ourselves, seen in the pure silver mirror of life.
Every human being carries within them a reservoir of unique skills, talents, and wisdom, developed through life’s varied experiences. Whether gained in the quiet solitude of our homes, in the dynamic challenges of work, or within the complexities of our relationships, this accumulated understanding contributes to the depth of our own intrinsic value. Yet, self-worth is not about measuring these abilities against others; it transcends such comparisons. It is about recognizing the shared foundation of basic goodness that binds us all as humans. This universal truth—that at our core we are good—forms the bedrock of self-worth. To embrace this is to see ourselves and others through the lens of compassion and mutual respect.
Self-worth does not demand constant introspection or self-definition. It is not about obsessively questioning, “Who am I?” but about arriving at a state of being where you simply know and accept yourself as you are, seeing clearly your values and your flaws. This is the power of our self-worth; it gives us an unbiased look upon ourselves upon which we can develop safely and truly into this world. This knowing is not intellectual but experiential—a quiet confidence that arises when you stop striving to prove your value and instead allow your natural qualities to shine through. When you start to align with your true self, the fruits of self-worth—peace, love, wisdom, and acceptance—naturally start to manifest in your life. These qualities are not something to acquire but rather to uncover, as they have always been present within you. It is not something that is given to you, but rather it is something you uncover or something that you can "earn" through being, experimenting life, and doing the best you can, avoiding unnecessary commentaries from your mind, criticism or over judgment.
To live with a healthy self-worth is to cultivate a harmonious relationship with yourself, one that does not require external validation to thrive. It invites you to see your imperfections not as flaws but as integral aspects of your humanity, to be held with tenderness and understanding. Self-worth can remind you that your value is not diminished by failure, nor is it heightened by success—it is constant, unwavering, and entirely independent of external circumstances. Thus, self-worth becomes the main ingredient to our sanity of mind, which is a rare and most valued aspect of our lives these days. When you start to truly accept your self-worth, you begin to step into a space of authenticity, simple joy and inner peace. The need to compare, to compete, or to seek approval dissolves quickly and it is being replaced by a steady confidence in your simple inherent value that you hold inside. This self-assurance becomes a foundation from which you can love more, act with increased integrity, and contribute to the world in ways that you would not think about before, because you now live every single day by experiencing and immersing yourself in the natural flow of life. Moreover, in knowing your worth, you can always create a ripple effect around you, by encouraging others to recognize and honor their own, through seeing how you act, do, and respect your own integrity, praising your life's experiences, and being a simple person that lives in simplicity and goodness.
Ultimately, self-worth is not about becoming something or someone; it is about returning to who we already are. It is the simple yet profound practice of living in alignment with our own true nature, embracing ourselves fully, and recognizing that our value is infinite, unchanging, and deeply rooted in the shared human experience that we experience every single day.
Question 3
How can you develop and maintainyour self-esteem?
Developing and maintaining your self-esteem is akin to gazing into a flawless silver mirror and recognizing your skills, talents, and inherent goodness without allowing pride to cloud your vision. True self-esteem is a delicate balance—acknowledging your value without over inflating it, and maintaining humility while appreciating your worth. When pride seeps in, even in the most subtle way, it can distort your values and accumulated virtues with ease, causing you to lose sight of their true nature. Instead of simply living your values authentically, pride tempts you to showcase them for external validation. Such self-display dilutes their essence, replacing genuine action with the presence of our ego, creating more internal mental "chatter", more judgment and criticism to what happens around us, and a tight grip to non-essential and negative things that happen or might happen in our lives, which creates unnecessary stress and distortion of our immediate reality. To cultivate lasting self-esteem, you must focus first on living your truth rather than boasting with it or displaying it around yourself.
A foundational step in building self-esteem is the recognition of your intrinsic value. This process involves an honest appraisal of your strengths and qualities—acknowledging that you are good, kind, and capable, without needing to compare yourself to others, and keeping your values to your heart, no matter what others say or comment about you and your life. Every individual possesses unique talents and abilities that equip them to navigate life’s challenges, as these are a give through birth to each one of us. When you connect deeply with this understanding, you can begin to see yourself and the world with much more clarity and the stress that external validation provides is suddenly lifted upon your heart. Developing self-esteem requires that you let go of the desire to be "better" or "like" others you may admire. Instead, you must embrace the truth of who you are, appreciating your authentic self as it exists, neither exaggerating nor diminishing your worth.
A healthy self-esteem is always grounded in being. It does not seek constant external validation, nor does it rely on the approval of others to thrive. Instead, it flourishes when you align with your inner truth and live authentically, being the person you always wanted to be in this life. This will make you soar and feel life in its purest form, and this also means accepting yourself as you are—imperfect but complete, flawed but worthy. When you inhabit your own skin and live in alignment with your core simple values, you cultivate a self-esteem that is resilient, sustainable, and that will bring no more stress and an uplifted perspective each day that passes.
Maintaining self-esteem requires (at least in the beginning) daily practice and mindfulness. It is not a fixed state but an evolving process that benefits from consistent attention. Begin by reaffirming your awareness of your intrinsic qualities: your kindness, your capacity to help others, and the skills that allow you to contribute meaningfully to the world. Focus on your qualities and also recognize, if you can your own flaws, but look with compassion on both of these. This self-awareness view enables you to navigate life (again) with confidence, seeing yourself through clear, untainted eyes. Remember, self-esteem is not about becoming "better" than anyone else or proving your worth; it is about recognizing and appreciating your unique journey, and also yourself, as you are, or as you were intended to be. Stop judging yourself for your shortcomings, and don't overpraise yourself for your skills and talents. You are just as you were supposed to be, and each day should be approached through simple awareness and through mindful simplicity of living, so that you can start to perceive the "extraordinary" quality of life, hidden in the "ordinary" aspect of it.
When you start interacting with others from a place of genuine self-esteem, you will bring your authentic self into all your relationships and into your life. This authenticity will strengthen your ability to connect deeply and meaningfully with others, creating bonds that are free of pretense or insecurity, free of "hidden" interests, and filled with respect, simplicity, and love. Over time, these interactions will greatly reinforce your sense of self-worth, as they are built on mutual respect and understanding rather than the need for validation, the need for love, or the need to be praised.
Ultimately, self-esteem is both a practice and a state of being. It grows as you live authentically, so honor your values, and accept yourself fully. By maintaining this steady balance, you will create the foundation for a fulfilling and joyful life—one in which you can embrace your unique journey and share your light with the world.
Question 4
How can you develop and maintainyour self-worth?
Developing and maintaining self-worth begins with the clarity to recognize your inherent value that you were born with and the unique skills you have and that you have also developed until now. This clarity does not lead to any kind of arrogance but rather to a humble awareness of what you can do and what you can contribute to this world. Humility or humbleness, in this context, is not about lowering yourself or denying your abilities in front of others by being afraid not to showcase them out but about holding a balanced view of who you really are, being true to your core while keeping your "ego boost" as low as it can be. It allows you to acknowledge your talents and achievements without becoming consumed by pride or the need for external validation. When you start to see your true self clearly—your strengths, your capabilities, and your areas for possible growth—you become a vessel through which your potential can naturally manifest in your life, when you will really start to develop in mere humbleness all the values and virtues that you feel drawn to.
True self-worth comes from using your gifts effectively rather than flaunting them. Boasting about your abilities often detracts from the genuine power and presence they hold, creating unnecessary friction with others and distancing you from the deeper purpose of your skills. Instead, allowing your actions and results to speak for themselves, forgetting your good acts of will that you did to others, and just simply living your life with respect to a greater understanding of the world will make you begin to see with an untainted and larger perspective the life that you presently live. Let the world be the judge of your contributions while you remain grounded and joyful in the knowledge that you are being yourself and that you are always doing good. Humility keeps you grounded and focused on the work itself, enabling you to bring more value into the world without the distraction, judgment, criticism, and "inner dialogue" that pride brings, through the work of our ego.
Maintaining self-worth involves a delicate balance between pride and humility. It is okay—and even necessary—to feel proud of what you have accomplished in your life. However, this pride should remain private and personal, serving as quiet encouragement to continue growing and contributing. Excessive outward pride can overshadow the genuine worth of your efforts, turning attention toward the self rather than the impact of your actions. When you stay humble, you create space for gratitude, joy, and the awareness that your talents are gifts meant to be shared, not hoarded or displayed.
To cultivate more self-worth, embrace the joy of using your skills and values in meaningful ways. Celebrate the fact that you can work, contribute, and bring something unique into the world. The act of applying yourself—not just achieving results—reinforces your sense of worth. Each effort you make, no matter how small, affirms your capacity to create and sustain value in this world. This active engagement with your potential becomes a source of fulfillment, guiding you toward greater purpose and alignment with your true self.
Developing self-worth is a journey of steady self-awareness and intentionality. Begin by acknowledging your accomplishments and recognizing the effort it took to achieve them. Reflect on the skills you’ve cultivated and how they’ve served you and most of it, others. Let this awareness inspire you more to continue learning, updating yourself, and growing, seeking opportunities to expand your abilities while staying true to your authentic self. Understand that your value is not determined by how much you have, have done, or how others perceive you, but by the simple truth of who you are—a being with innate worth and the capacity to create good.
Remember, self-worth is a guiding light that illuminates your path in life. It is not tied to external circumstances or fleeting successes but rooted in the consistent effort to live authentically and meaningfully. By staying humble, embracing your gifts, and continuing to grow, you maintain a sense of self-worth that empowers you to navigate the world with confidence, purpose, and peace.
Question 5
How can you discover your true self?
Discovering your true self is an ongoing journey, a process that unfolds over time as you deepen your understanding of who you are, through simple daily introspection and through seeing and experiencing life firsthand. It is not something that happens overnight, nor can it be fully grasped in a single moment. Rather, it is the gradual and continuous process of revealing your essence, a discovery that occurs through experience, reflection, and conscious effort. Your true self is not something you need to "find" because it has always been there, waiting to be uncovered. This uncovering is simply done by being mindful and living your day to day life, as all your life lessons, no matter in which form they present to yourself, are there to make you see who you are and how you react to external events and factors. The key is to create the space for your true self to emerge, through mindfulness, acceptance, and a deep engagement with life’s unfolding journey.
From the very start of life, you may feel a pull toward a particular path or purpose, whether that is expressed in becoming a teacher, an artist, an activist, or simply helping others in small, meaningful ways. In trying to fulfill your life's purpose, you inevitably slowly begin to discover the many layers of your being. But this is not a one-stop destination; it is a process that requires time, patience, and ongoing deeper inner reflection. Your true self is revealed bit by bit, like a sculpture being carved out of stone, gradually taking shape over the course of the time of your life. This process of discovery requires not only active engagement with the world around you but also a commitment to learning every day and growing both mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Spiritual work, in this sense, is both a practice and a study—practicing presence or mindfulness in each moment, while gathering wisdom from life’s lessons and teachings.
To discover your true self, you must first cultivate awareness. Being present in the moment is fundamental to this journey. Each day is an opportunity to be mindful of your actions, thoughts, and feelings, noticing how much you engage with the world around you and how you perceive the people around you and their actions. It is through this mindful process that you begin to see patterns, tendencies, and behaviors that reveal deeper aspects of who you are. The practice of mindfulness, along with an acceptance of the present moment (which can be seen simply as tolerance to what happens around yourself) allows you to step beyond the distractions and mental noise that can cloud your perception and add misconceptions about the simple life we are always living. Only in this state of wakefulness can you observe the unfolding of your own being in everyday life, free from the filters of judgment, criticism, and expectation.
The true self is not a concept to be grasped intellectually but a living reality to be experienced. It is the pure, untainted part of your soul that remains constant and bright, regardless of the circumstances or challenges of life. It is that radiant light within you, which shines even when life seems difficult or confusing. Your true self is your own essence, unique and distinct from others, yet interconnected with the larger whole, the society, and the society's rules and relationships. We are all different expressions of the divine, and in our differences, we can always find beauty, serenity, peace, and completeness. Through the discovery of our true selves, we come to appreciate not only who we are but also the interconnectedness of all beings.
However, the discovery of the true self is not always an easy or immediate process. It requires dedication, and just as a diamond is not formed without pressure, your true self may remain hidden beneath layers of conditioning, fear, or self-doubt, if you don't gradually work each and every day, with diligence and an aware attitude, to see who you are in the myriad examples of your life. But through consistent practice—whether through meditation, self-reflection, or simply living consciously—you slowly begin to reveal the layers that might obscure your inner light. With each step, you manage to gain greater clarity, becoming more attuned to your authentic self and the path that lies before you.
We can all understand that this process of self-discovery is a lifelong journey. Each day offers a new opportunity to observe and learn new things about yourself, to grow in wisdom and understanding, to learn the language of compassion and acceptance, and to refine the expression of your own true self. As you practice mindfulness and cultivate acceptance of the present moment, you begin to uncover the aspects of yourself that have always been there, just waiting to be seen at some point in life, once you have done enough to earn them. This awareness is not a one-time event but a continuous process of unfolding, a dance between your inner world and the outer world.
Ultimately, discovering your true self is about becoming more attuned to the present moment, where all that you need to know about who you are can be found. It is through this presence, and this willingness to see yourself clearly, that you begin to embody the fullness of your being. Your true self is not something you achieve or strive for, but something you awaken to, moment by moment, with humility, grace, and acceptance.
Question 6
What is the difference between your true self and your own Ego?
The distinction between the ego and your true self is one of the most important realizations in the journey of spiritual growth and self-awareness. The ego is basically the personality you project to the outside world, the identity that your mind has constructed over time, often based on past experiences, external influences, and societal expectations. It is a complex web of thoughts, beliefs, judgments, and desires that are often detached from your authentic being. The ego is constantly seeking external validation, approval, and comparison to others, as it is "your own image" about yourself built with respect of the world we live in. It thrives on labeling each thing it believes in (as being either good or bad) and often defines your worth based on how you perceive yourself in relation to others. The ego tells you who you should be and how you should appear, and it works tirelessly to maintain a sense of control over your actions, thoughts, and emotions.
The ego’s primary function is to protect you, to create a sense of safety and certainty in a world that can often feel unpredictable. It does this by constructing a self-image that it believes will help you navigate the world effectively. However, while the ego’s intentions are to provide stability, a sort of grounding and protection, it can also lead to a false sense of self, one that is rooted in fear, insecurity, and attachment to external outcomes. The ego constantly searches for external validation, constantly striving to prove its worth and importance in the world. It is the part of you that compares, competes, and judges, often ignoring the deeper, more meaningful aspects of life that lie beyond the surface.
In contrast, your true self is the essence of who you truly are, beyond the mental constructs and fleeting identities created by the ego. It is your soul, your spirit, the core of your being that remains constant and unchanging throughout all the challenges and experiences of life. The true self is not dependent on external validation or the opinions of others. It is the pure, untainted expression of your inner wisdom, love, compassion, and intuition. When you connect with your true self, you experience a sense of peace and inner knowing, as it is grounded in the present moment, free from judgment, comparison, and fear.
The true self is also an expression of your highest potential, one that transcends the limitations of the ego. It is the part of you that is aligned with your soul’s purpose, the aspect of you that knows what is truly important in life and seeks to bring more love, light, and goodness into the world. While the ego is always in flux, constantly trying to adapt and protect itself, the true self is stable, peaceful, and grounded. It is the part of you that has no need for validation because it already knows its worth. It is content in simply being, without needing to prove anything to anyone. It is your authentic, radiant self, and it can only be fully realized when you are able to quiet the noise of the ego and simply be present with yourself or with other words, being mindful.
To discover and connect with your true self, it is important to first understand that the ego is not inherently "bad" or wrong. The ego serves a purpose—it helps you navigate the world, make decisions, and maintain your identity. However, when the ego becomes overactive or overly attached to external outcomes, it can create a barrier to experiencing your true self. The key is to develop awareness and mindfulness, so that you can observe the ego’s behavior without becoming attached to it. By practicing presence, meditation, and self-reflection, you can begin to distinguish between the thoughts and desires of the ego and the pure essence of your true self. By simply practicing mindfulness, the ego dissolves in the absence of the "identification" with the discourse in the mind as the "I am" identity. When there is nothing in the mind to cling on, our true self, as it is, starts revealing itself to us. One way to differentiate between the ego and your true self is by paying attention to how you feel in the presence of certain thoughts or actions. When you are acting from the ego, you may feel anxious, restless, or driven by a need to impress, create a temporary image or even to control a situation or an outcome in your daily life. These are signs that you are disconnected from your true self and are instead allowing the ego to take charge. On the other hand, when you are acting from your true self, you may feel at peace, grounded, and connected to a higher purpose. Your true self operates from a place of love, kindness, and wisdom, and it seeks to bring more beauty, authenticity, and compassion into the world.
As you become more aware of the ego's influence in your life, you can begin to detach from its limiting beliefs and false perceptions. The process of awakening to your true self is one of letting go—letting go of the need to control, to prove yourself, and to seek validation. It is about embracing your authentic self, flaws and all, and trusting that you are enough just as you are. As you continue to let go of the ego's influence, you will find that your true self naturally begins to emerge, shining brightly in every aspect of your life. Discovering your true self is thus often a matter of letting go of the constant need of the ego(mind) to dissipate all the time in the mind's chatter, judgments, and criticism.
In the end, the ego is just a tool for navigating the world, but it is not who you truly are. Your true self is the light that shines within you, the essence that transcends all ego-driven thoughts and behaviors. By embracing the awareness of this deeper truth, you can live a life that is more aligned with your soul's purpose, filled with love, wisdom, and authenticity.
Question 7
What are the virtues that contribute to your self-worth?
Self-worth is intricately tied to a variety of virtues that usually shape how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world. One of the most foundational virtues is humility. Humility is the quiet recognition of one’s value without the need for outward validation or the desire to boast. It is the virtue that keeps our self-worth grounded and free from the distortions of pride. When we are humble, pride becomes non-existent, such as darkness dispells in the presence of light. So pride, in contrast, is the ego's way of inflating one's sense of self-importance, often making us forget our true nature or our true worth by focusing on what others think or by trying to prove ourselves each time we feel our ego is threatened. Pride can always act as a sort of barrier that is distancing us from our authentic self, leading to arrogance, mistakes, criticism, and relationships that are shallow or misaligned with our true essence.
Humility is necessary because it prevents us from falling into the trap of overestimating our importance or abilities. In this sense, it allows us to stay grounded. Humility isn’t about devaluing oneself or thinking less of one’s abilities; rather, it’s about recognizing our gifts and talents without needing to flaunt them for recognition. A humble heart is one that knows its worth, yet quietly contributes to the world, driven not by the desire for praise but by a genuine commitment to help others, grow, and do what is right. In this way, humility does not diminish us—it strengthens us because it opens the door to true self-awareness and compassion.
The opposite of pride is not to belittle oneself or deny one’s worth. Sometimes, people mistakenly interpret humility as self-deprecation, thinking that being humble means downplaying one's abilities. However, this leads to the trap of false humility, a place where someone may believe that they are undeserving or incapable, thereby not contributing their true potential to the world. True humility lies in the balanced understanding that we all have inherent worth and unique contributions to make, yet we do so without the need to claim or show off. This middle ground is meekness, a quiet confidence that allows us to acknowledge our worth while recognizing that our abilities are meant to serve others, not to elevate ourselves above them.
A second important virtue that sustains self-worth is gratitude. Being grateful for the abilities, knowledge, and the opportunities that we have keeps us in alignment with our purpose. It helps us avoid the trap of constantly seeking external validation or feeling insecure about what we have or haven’t achieved. Gratitude allows us to embrace who we are right now, recognizing that we don’t need to be someone else to have worth. It encourages us to focus on what we do have rather than what we lack, and in doing so, we start to nourish a healthy, sustainable sense of self-worth. Gratitude is like a safe ground where by only being thankful for what we have and what we are, our own self-worth manifests naturally. It shines through us, by coming up to the front, showing up that we need nothing much than what we have to be and feel complete.
Another virtue contributing to self-worth is self-compassion. Treating ourselves with kindness, especially when we make mistakes or fall short of our goals, reinforces our intrinsic value. It’s essential to recognize that self-worth is not contingent on perfection, but on the capacity to be present and to learn from life’s challenges. When we practice self-compassion, we free ourselves from the pressure to be flawless and embrace the idea that we are worthy of love and respect, just as we are—flaws and all. Self-compassion will always make us feel loved and free under the sky, and it tells us not to forget to embrace our self-worth at any time, because we are simply what we are, at all times.
Lastly, integrity plays a crucial role in maintaining self-worth. Integrity means staying true to our core values and beliefs, regardless of the external pressures we may face in our daily encounters. When we live with integrity, we can look at ourselves in the mirror with pride—not the inflated pride of ego, but the deep satisfaction that comes from knowing we are living authentically and honorably. Our actions are aligned with our inner values, and this alignment builds a solid foundation for genuine self-worth.
In essence, self-worth is nurtured by humility, gratitude, self-compassion, and integrity. These virtues help us stay grounded in our true value, ensuring that our worth is not based on fleeting external approval but on our authentic expression in the world. By cultivating these virtues, we become vessels for the positive qualities that contribute to the greater good, thereby deepening our self-worth and living a life of purpose and meaning.
Question 8
How can I know I'm improving my self-esteem and not boosting my Ego?
To know whether you are truly improving your self-esteem or simply boosting your Ego, the key lies in mindfulness and humility. These two virtues provide the foundation for personal growth without inflating your sense of self-importance. Mindfulness, the act of being fully present in the moment, helps you observe yourself without judgment, allowing you to recognize whether your actions are coming from a place of genuine self-improvement or from the need to prove something to others. When you are mindful, you become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, noticing if they are aligned with your true values or driven by the desire for validation. You observe yourself without interference from the Ego, which is constantly seeking approval and recognition. By being mindful, you actually rise above the Ego, as an "observer" of your own thoughts and emotions, thus you can be sure that all your mindful decisions will contribute to your true aspect of your self, not to your ego, which is often called in Buddhism "the little mind". True self-esteem is built in experiencing the world first-hand, from the point of view of your clear mind, or your awareness, not from the constant chattering mind of your own ego.
Humility also plays a crucial role in distinguishing between self-esteem and the Ego. Humility keeps you grounded, preventing pride from clouding your perception of your true worth. When you are humble, you acknowledge your strengths without boasting or seeking external validation. You understand that your value does not need to be announced or shown to others—it simply exists in your actions and your approach to life. A humble person seeks to grow and contribute to the world around them, not for the purpose of receiving praise, but for the fulfillment of their own inner sense of purpose. Humility allows you to act with integrity, doing what is right and necessary without seeking rewards or recognition. Humility or humbleness is in itself integrity, so it will never hurt your self-esteem, but more than that, it can add to it more clarity and strength, as humility is what drives a clean way in life.
The Ego thrives on attention, validation, and comparison, while true self-esteem comes from the quiet and self-motivated confidence that arises from self-awareness. When you are improving your self-esteem, you do so not for others’ approval but because you are striving to be the best version of yourself, not to outshine others, but to contribute meaningfully to the world around you. This process requires letting go of the need for external affirmation and being satisfied with the intrinsic rewards that come from personal growth and fulfillment. The Ego, on the other hand, needs to be seen and praised in order to feel valuable. It thrives on external validation and can easily become attached to outward symbols of success, such as status, possessions, or admiration. If your actions are motivated by the desire to be admired or to stand out, then you may be feeding your Ego rather than nurturing your true self-esteem, so make sure you live mindfully and act from your deepest best interest, when it comes to being true to yourself, each and every day.
In practical terms, you can recognize whether you are strengthening your self-esteem or feeding your Ego by reflecting on your motivations. Are you seeking to improve yourself because you genuinely want to contribute to the world or because you want to be recognized for your achievements? Are you doing things for the sake of personal fulfillment, or are you constantly looking for validation from others? Self-esteem, when nurtured with mindfulness and humility, leads to a sense of inner peace and satisfaction, while feeding the Ego often results in insecurity and a need for constant external validation. By staying mindful, humble, and focused on personal growth, you can be confident that you are improving your self-esteem and not just boosting your Ego.
Chapter 2
Transcending the Ego
Question 1
What is the Ego?
The concept of the Ego is one that has been explored extensively in both spiritual and psychological traditions. From a spiritual perspective, the Ego is often considered a false sense of self, one that creates a narrative of separation from the world around us, from others, and from the divine. It is not the true self, but rather a mental construct—a projection of who we think we are based on our past experiences, thoughts, desires, and fears. The Ego thrives on the illusion of individuality, where we view ourselves as separate from the interconnected whole. This separateness, in turn, feeds into feelings of isolation, competition, and the need for validation, all of which contribute to the Ego's sense of identity.
At the core of the Ego's behavior is the belief in its uniqueness, often at the expense of unity. The Ego cherishes individuality but only in a way that reinforces its separateness. It constructs stories in our minds that make us feel distinct, luring us even with the feeling of "freedom" based on our uniqueness, often clinging to differences between us and others, instead of embracing our shared humanity and wholeness, as a society. In this way, the Ego resists ideas that promote unity and interconnectedness, instead focusing on aspects of ourselves that highlight how "different" we are from everyone else.
The Ego also has a tendency to attach itself to external objects, and built identities—such as our possessions, relationships, achievements, and our social status. By identifying with these external factors, the Ego creates a sense of self that is more and more dependent on things outside our true nature, material things or things that are external to us. This attachment leads to an unstable and fluctuating sense of self-worth because when these external factors change or are lost, the Ego's sense of identity is threatened. For instance, if we derive our sense of value from our possessions, status, or appearance, any disruption in these areas can make us to feel incomplete, lost, or inadequate. Thus, we start to feel the disharmony of our Ego, the distortion that it creates into this world, and its own fear of losing control. The aspect of control exists only in our minds, and since our Ego is a "mental construct" that exists in our minds, often named "the little mind", its greatest fear is of "dying" or "dissapearing", or losing control in favor of the silence that pure awareness grants us, which can be instated in our minds by practicing mindfulness.
An important aspect of the Ego is its constant inner dialogue—the voice inside our heads that narrates our experiences, creates judgments, and reinforces self-images. This constant chatter is driven by the Ego's need to maintain its existence. The Ego fears its own dissolution, so it perpetuates thoughts, ideas, and emotions that ensure it remains central to our awareness. This mental chatter can often lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and restlessness as the Ego tries to control every situation, comparison, or external experience that might threaten its sense of control or superiority.
Furthermore, the Ego, our self-image that we have created for ourselves in the younger years of our existence, at some point starts to operate primarily from a place of fear. It is afraid of loss, rejection, failure, and its ultimate demise. This fear is one of the primary motivators behind its incessant need to maintain control, protect its self-image, and secure its sense of identity. For instance, the fear of not measuring up or of being rejected can drive the Ego to create false narratives, exaggerate one's worth, or engage in behaviors that are not aligned with our authentic selves. As such, the Ego's core function is to protect itself from any perceived threat, whether physical or psychological, by clinging to its constructed identity. Also, one of the Ego's functions is to always make sure that we are safe from harm, to the expense of not living up our normal life, depriving us of many experiences from which we could learn a lot.
One of the most significant characteristics of the Ego is its attachment to the past and the future. The Ego constantly revisits past experiences, particularly those that evoke strong emotions, whether positive or negative. It uses these experiences to reinforce its narrative of who we are—whether it is shaping a sense of pride in past accomplishments or regret over past mistakes. Similarly, the Ego often dwells in future projections, either through anticipation, generating anxiety, or having certain expectations, projecting fantasies about what could happen or fears of what might go wrong. This tendency to be stuck in the past or future definitely prevents us from fully living in the present moment, which means from being mindful, anchored in the simple here and now.
In contrast, true spiritual awareness exists in the present moment. The present moment is where we can experience life as it truly is, without the distortion of the Ego. In mindfulness practices, the goal is to cultivate a state of awareness that is free from the Ego’s incessant chatter. When we practice mindfulness, we begin to silence the Ego, allowing us to experience the world as it is, without the filter of judgments, comparisons, or fears. In this space, we become more connected to our true self, which is not defined by past achievements or future aspirations, but by our presence in the here and now.
The practice of mindfulness helps us detach from the Ego’s need to control and manipulate our thoughts and experiences. Even if the Ego formed naturally, and that we ourselves contributed in creating it, as our "unique" image or our personality, in time, it needs to be shaped to our needs and at some point transcended and only observed. Mindfulness allows us to simply be—without the need for validation, comparison, or attachment. In this state, the Ego is silenced, and what remains is pure awareness, which is our true essence, often called "the big mind". Awareness brings us peace, freedom, and the ability to experience life fully, as it presents to us, unbiased, in its clear form.
Through mindfulness and spiritual practice, we begin to understand that the Ego is not who we truly are. It is a construct of the mind, shaped by external influences and past experiences. When we can recognize the Ego for what it is—a mental pattern that distorts our perception of ourselves and the world—we can begin to transcend it and live more authentically. The key to dissolving the Ego is letting go of attachment, fear, control, and the need for external validation. By embracing the present moment, we can silence the Ego and return to the state of simple and natural awareness, where true peace and spiritual growth can unfold.
Question 2
What is good and what is bad about our Ego?
The Ego plays a significant and complex role in shaping who we are, both in terms of our personality and how we engage with the world around us. The "good" and "bad" aspects of the Ego often depend on perspective, particularly in spiritual contexts, where its dual nature is clearly recognized. On one hand, the Ego serves as an essential component in developing our personal identity and functioning in the world, helping us see that the material or mundane side of the world is a normal thing in which we can dwell relating to usual things. On the other hand, it can also become a source of suffering and limitation if it is not properly understood or managed. This can especially happen after a certain age, where the Ego (this mind-made projection) can start taking control of our own life, analyze, criticize, compare and label things to keep everything in order, with other words, making us control every outcome in our daily life.
