Love On The Web E-Book

Veronique Bertier

• Herausgeber: Veronique Bertier
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

Love in the times of the Internet ... when something started for a game becomes important. A love story to read and impersonate

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Title Page

Love on the web

by

Veronique Bertier

One

I’m tired. I’m tired of the people my eyes are forced to look at. I’m tired of the air conditioning’s cold my feet are always being abused by each morning. I’m tired of myself, if you don’t mind me to say such a pessimistic thing. I feel like I have to apologize every time I externalize my inner pain, those people my eyes are tired to watch told me to feel that way. They make me feel like I’m misunderstanding something, like if I want to misunderstand. Ignorance is not what I suffer from. I know what to do, how to think, with who to be. I know all the answers to a better being, to a better life. There is a lot of life waiting for me, there is a lot of feelings. Happy feelings, intense feelings, not necessarily good ones. Just not bad ones, and definitely not null ones. Yes, I know a lot. Beautiful people have told me a lot, but what is the use of a pool when you have no limbs? What is the use of an end when you don’t have any means left? I did have means, some time ago. Some ages ago, at the age of innocence. When ignorance could be excused with innocence. There were a lot of little things that gave me some of that energy I now lack. I miss them, all those kids in the backyard of a barely known house in the neighborhood. I miss those ridiculous jokes and phrases that the shame still makes me regret to have said. Simpler times, simpler solutions to the tears. I could never tell any of these things to another person. People have told me the consequences of doing so. It’s too risky, it’s not worth it in the end. Although, I have learned. I still have an urge for solutions, even though it is pretty small. I have found a little confidence in myself, enough to find a friend in me, because there is no better person to take my own shit as myself, I guess. I’m loyal to me, I better be. I’m my best friend and my enemy. I’m a butcher and a lamb. Jekyll and Hyde. As sad as it sounds, it really helps me. Everything is sad when you put it in context, but it think there is some beauty in it. There is some beauty in all the mess. Ephemeral beauties, alive beauties. Sometimes, my eyes gain blindness at will when I speak that word out loud, but some other times, I seek for it, desperately. In every house, in every square. My eyes become twin hunters, in eager search of a meal. Some other times, they are in search of a beam of light pouring from the tops of the forest’s trees. I write a “hello” on my laptop’s keyboard. I have to say, I’m nervous. That is not something new, but it feels like it every time. I never get used to, even though I should be by now. Scared of some pixels, scared of a screen. What would I say if someone replies? Or worse, what would I do if no one does? It would be the end of my stay in this site? I don’t really want it to end, I’m not here for no reason. It would really hurt if I’m unable to fit in here. I’m tired. I’m tired of people don’t giving me a chance to fit in. I know I could, some way or another. Just give me another chance, people.