My Book Of Poems E-Book

Bernard Morris

• Herausgeber: Bernard Morris
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

A collection of humorous and serious poems on subjects including love, politics, covid, music and the environment.

Leseprobe

MY BOOK OF POEMS

Bernard Morris

© 2021 Bernard Morris

First Edition

The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Cover by Sponchia/Pixabay

CONTENTS

Old Friends

Rainy Day Talent Contests

The Customer

If We Don't Sort The Problems Out

Donald Trump The President Was Anything But Brave

Kelp!

Isolation Row

Your Hair And Teeth Are Falling Out

Those Four Words

I Want To Feel Your Loving Heart

Don't Think Twice It's Alright To Sell Your Entire Catalogue Of Songs

Now I'm Nearly Four

Every Time I See Your Smile

We're Homo Sapiens

Uncle Charlie The Funny Clown

He Looks Like A Woman, You See

Silverback Fighter

Hogging The Ball

Your Nose Is Red And Swollen

All You Need Is Gloves

Breastfeeding In Public

All The Junk Food

Quarantine Delight

At The Doctors

Covid Deaths Are Mounting

Bad Pie

Antibody

Twerking Ass Hero

There Was A Time

How Can Anybody Ever Eat A Cow

When You Forget To Buy A Present

Remembering Thatcher

I Am In Bed

Old Age

Corona Corona

Fried Fish Is Nice

As You Get Older

A Virus Called Covid

That Yolk Isn't Runny Anymore

Librariantics

If I Had Never Met You

Oops! I Farted Again

Not For Me To Sing

MuckDonalds

Donald The President

Big Toe

All Night Pong

Mr Tangerine Man

Don't

Knockin' On Bevan's Door

Can't Get It Out Of My Shed

We Remember Milligan

Colourful Chameleon

I Wanna Wash My Hands

Swearing

Starfish

He Is Beep Beep

I Am Enormous

I'm In Love With Your Behind

Old Lady Walking To The Shop

Referendum 2

You're A Truly Devoted Real Ale Lover

The Capitol Front And Back Door

You Know I Can't Sweat

There's A New Single Out

Virus

A Mansion

I Can't Pooh

I’ve Always Been Health Conscious

OLD FRIENDS

Remember when we were kids

Full of the joys of spring

Always having a laugh

And not being afraid to sing

The simple things we used to do

Like climbing over walls

Playing hide and seek in the street

And playing kerby with footballs

None of this computer rubbish

The kids all play these days

We got our pleasure from simple things

Like getting lost in a maze

It didn’t take much to keep us happy

We came home from school and got changed

If you told today’s kids what we did for fun

They’d look at you as if you were deranged

We had our tea, played out on the front

Till our Mums shouted us in

Some of us played out all day on the field

And our Mums got drunk on gin

We always looked forward to Thursdays

For Thursday was Market Day

We’d jump on to Mr Mather’s cart

And he’d take us all the way

He’d take us all down to the market

But that horse didn’t half pong

We’d stop and pick Molly Rankin up on the way

And we’d all have a sing-a-long

And Billy Baker and Elsie Parker

You could get half the village on that cart

And there’d be an enormous roar of laughter

Every time Eddie Rogers did a fart

Those were the days and it was always sunny

Whether skipping or climbing trees

Please open your eyes, don’t leave me yet

It’s not time, don’t leave me...please

RAINY DAY TALENT CONTESTS

Well, they’ll know you when you’re judging on the panel

They’ll know you when your name is Simon Cowell

They’ll know you when you’re David or Amanda

A polar bear, a dog or a panda

And I would not feel so all alone

Everybody must get known

Well, they’ll know you when your name’s Alisha Dixon

They’ll know you when they give you an ovation

They’ll know you when your name is Darcey Oake

If you can sing or even tell a joke

And I would not feel so all alone

Everybody must get known

Well, they’ll know you when you’re Old Men Grooving

They’ll know you when your voice is quite soothing

They’ll know you when you’re name is Susan Boyle

She’s so big she could almost be a Royal

And I would not feel so all alone

Everybody must get known

Well, they’ll know you when your name is Lucy Kay

They’ll know you when you’re straight or when you’re gay

David doesn’t care either way

He’s not bothered if you’re Rosy or you’re Ray

And I would not feel so all alone

Everybody must get known

Well, we know we cannot all be Simon Cowell

Not even the amazing Jai McDowall

No-one can be as big as Ant & Dec

But we can all dream on so what the heck

And I would not feel so all alone

Everybody must get known

THE CUSTOMER

A customer stood in a shop one day

He said, “Shoes have six legs and a tail,

Lulu was arrested for eating a pie

And the Queen once married a snail.

The moon is made of spinach,

And Trevor McDonald is white.”

One thing that can be learnt from this poem

Is that the customer is not always right

IF WE DON’T SORT THE PROBLEMS OUT

The ice caps they are melting

The tides are getting high

And there will be no setting

Of a sun in darkened sky

Plastic and air pollution

Destroying every nation

And unhygienic wet markets

Are causing devastation

If we don’t sort the problems out

Humanity will die

So let’s all join as one and shout

Together we must try

Overpopulation

The effects are quite severe

Like bad contamination

Of the planet’s atmosphere

Abundance of clear-cuttings

Destroying all the trees

Increasing greenhouse gasses

For all of us to breathe

If we don’t sort the problems out

Humanity will die

So let’s all join as one and shout

Together we must try

The weather’s changing far too much

Intensifying droughts

With heat waves and hurricanes

Far worse without a doubt

The rain it falls like acid

Causing chaos on the ground

Destroying all the lakes and trees

For miles and miles around

If we don’t sort the problems out

Humanity will die

So let’s all join as one and shout

Together we must try

The extinction of our species

Is caused by fossil fuel

We burn far too much oil and coal

Destruction isn’t cool

We pump too much pollution

Into the atmosphere

To anyone with half a brain

It’s absolutely clear

If we don’t sort the problems out

Humanity will die

So let’s all join as one and shout

Together we must try