Rhyma And Reason E-Book

Mark Twain

• Herausgeber: anamsaleem
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson ( 27 January 1832 - 14 January 1898), better known by the pseudonym Lewis Carroll, was an English author, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer. His most famous writings are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and its sequel Through the Looking-Glass, as well as the poems "The Hunting of the Snark" and "Jabberwocky," all examples of the genre of literary nonsense.

Leseprobe

Rhyme And Reason

Lewis Carroll

.

CANTO I.

The Trystyng.

One winter night, at half-past nine,

Cold, tired, and cross, and muddy,I had come home, too late to dine,And supper, with cigars and wine, 

Was waiting in the study.

There was a strangeness in the room, 

And Something white and wavyWas standing near me in the gloom--_I_ took it for the carpet-broom 

Left by that careless slavey.

[Illustration]

But presently the Thing began

To shiver and to sneeze:On which I said "Come, come, my man!That's a most inconsiderate plan. 

Less noise there, if you please!"

"I've caught a cold," the Thing replies,

"Out there upon the landing."I turned to look in some surprise,And there, before my very eyes, 

A little Ghost was standing!

He trembled when he caught my eye,

And got behind a chair. "How came you here," I said, "and why?I never saw a thing so shy. 

Come out! Don't shiver there!"

He said "I'd gladly tell you how,

And also tell you why;But" (here he gave a little bow)"You're in so bad a temper now, 

You'd think it all a lie.

"And as to being in a fright,

Allow me to remarkThat Ghosts have just as good a right,In every way, to fear the light, 

As Men to fear the dark."

"No plea," said I, "can well excuse

Such cowardice in you:For Ghosts can visit when they choose,Whereas we Humans ca'n't refuse 

To grant the interview."

He said "A flutter of alarm

Is not unnatural, is it?I really feared you meant some harm:But, now I see that you are calm, 

Let me explain my visit.

"Houses are classed, I beg to state,

According to the numberOf Ghosts that they accommodate:(The Tenant merely counts as _weight_, 

With Coals and other lumber).

"This is a 'one-ghost' house, and you 

When you arrived last summer,May have remarked a Spectre whoWas doing all that Ghosts can do 

To welcome the new-comer.

"In Villas this is always done--

However cheaply rented:For, though of course there's less of funWhen there is only room for one, 

Ghosts have to be contented.

"That Spectre left you on the Third-- 

Since then you've not been haunted:For, as he never sent us word, 'Twas quite by accident we heard 

That any one was wanted.

"A Spectre has first choice, by right, 

In filling up a vacancy;Then Phantom, Goblin, Elf, and Sprite--If all these fail them, they invite 

The nicest Ghoul that they can see.

"The Spectres said the place was low, 

And that you kept bad wine:So, as a Phantom had to go,And I was first, of course, you know, 

I couldn't well decline."

"No doubt," said I, "they settled who

Was fittest to be sent:Yet still to choose a brat like you,To haunt a man of forty-two, 

Was no great compliment!"

"I'm not so young, Sir," he replied,

"As you might think. The fact is,In caverns by the water-side,And other places that I've tried, 

I've had a lot of practice:

"But I have never taken yet

A strict domestic part,And in my flurry I forgetThe Five Good Rules of Etiquette 

We have to know by heart."

My sympathies were warming fast

Towards the little fellow:He was so utterly aghastAt having found a Man at last, 

And looked so scared and yellow.

[Illustration: "IN CAVERNS BY THE WATER-SIDE"]

"At least," I said, "I'm glad to find

A Ghost is not a _dumb_ thing!But pray sit down: you'll feel inclined(If, like myself, you have not dined) 

To take a snack of something:

"Though, certainly, you don't appear

A thing to offer _food_ to!And then I shall be glad to hear--If you will say them loud and clear-- 

The Rules that you allude to."

"Thanks! You shall hear them by and by

This _is_ a piece of luck!" "What may I offer you?" said I."Well, since you _are_ so kind, I'll try 

A little bit of duck.

"_One_ slice! And may I ask you for

Another drop of gravy?"I sat and looked at him in awe,For certainly I never saw 

A thing so white and wavy.

[Illustration]

And still he seemed to grow more white, 

More vapoury, and wavier--Seen in the dim and flickering light,As he proceeded to recite 

His "Maxims of Behaviour."

CANTO II.

Hys Fyve Rules.

"My First--but don't suppose," he said,

"I'm setting you a riddle--Is--if your Victim be in bed,Don't touch the curtains at his head, 

But take them in the middle,

"And wave them slowly in and out,

While drawing them asunder;And in a minute's time, no doubt,He'll raise his head and look about 

With eyes of wrath and wonder.

"And here you must on no pretence

Make the first observation.Wait for the Victim to commence:No Ghost of any common sense 

Begins a conversation.

[Illustration]

"If he should say '_How came you here?_' 

(The way that _you_ began, Sir,)In such a case your course is clear--'_On the bat's back, my little dear!_' 

Is the appropriate answer.

"If after this he says no more,

You'd best perhaps curtail yourExertions--go and shake the door,And then, if he begins to snore, 

You'll know the thing's a failure.

"By day, if he should be alone--

At home or on a walk--You merely give a hollow groan,To indicate the kind of tone 

In which you mean to talk.

"But if you find him with his friends,

The thing is rather harder.In such a case success depends On picking up some candle-ends, 

Or butter, in the larder.

"With this you make a kind of slide

(It answers best with suet),On which you must contrive to glide,And swing yourself from side to side-- 

One soon learns how to do it.

"The Second tells us what is right

In ceremonious calls:--'_First burn a blue or crimson light_'(A thing I quite forgot to-night), 

'_Then scratch the door or walls._'"

[Illustration: "AND SWING YOURSELF FROM SIDE TO SIDE"]

I said "You'll visit _here_ no more,

If you attempt the Guy.I'll have no bonfires on _my_ floor--And, as for scratching at the door, 

I'd like to see you try!"

"The Third was written to protect

The interests of the Victim,And tells us, as I recollect,_To treat him with a grave respect, 

And not to contradict him_."

"That's plain," said I, "as Tare and Tret, 

To any comprehension:I only wish _some_ Ghosts I've metWould not so _constantly_ forget 

The maxim that you mention!"

"Perhaps," he said, "_you_ first transgressed

The laws of hospitality:All Ghosts instinctively detestThe Man that fails to treat his guest 

With proper cordiality.

[Illustration]

"If you address a Ghost as 'Thing!'

Or strike him with a hatchet,He is permitted by the KingTo drop all _formal_ parleying-- 

And then you're _sure_ to catch it!

"The Fourth prohibits trespassing

Where other Ghosts are quartered:And those convicted of the thing(Unless when pardoned by the King) 

Must instantly be slaughtered.

"That simply means 'be cut up small':

Ghosts soon unite anew:The process scarcely hurts at all--Not more than when _you're_ what you call 

'Cut up' by a Review.

"The Fifth is one you may prefer

That I should quote entire:--_The King must be addressed as 'Sir.'This, from a simple courtier, 

Is all the Laws require_:

"_But, should you wish to do the thing

With out-and-out politeness,Accost him as 'My Goblin King!'And always use, in answering, 

The phrase 'Your Royal Whiteness!'_ 

"I'm getting rather hoarse, I fear,

After so much reciting:So, if you don't object, my dear,We'll try a glass of bitter beer-- 

I think it looks inviting."

[Illustration]

CANTO III.

Scarmoges.

"And did you really walk," said I,

"On such a wretched night?I always fancied Ghosts could fly--If not exactly in the sky,