Romance Redefined E-Book

SJD Peterson

• Herausgeber: Dreamspinner Press
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 301

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Beschreibung

Opposites attract, but are some differences too drastic for a romance to survive? On the surface, Benson Howard Winthrop III and Hugh Bayard have a lot in common: they're young, handsome, and blessed to be one of the wealthiest couples in the country. Surely they have everything anyone could want. But Ben is no longer satisfied with their long-running relationship. Hugh's need to control every situation is suffocating him, and Ben needs to know if he can make it on his own merits by following his passion. But Ben's mother isn't about to let her son live in a rundown apartment as a struggling actor. She's determined to get him back to his rightful place at the top of the social ladder—and back with Hugh. Rekindling their romance will require more than doing what's expected. Ben and Hugh need to understand and embrace each other's differences. They'll have to support each other even when one makes a decision the other doesn't agree with. For their passionate love to grow, they will need to redefine the meaning of romance… only then can they find true happiness.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Blurb

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

EPILOGUE

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Copyright

Romance Redefined

By SJD Peterson

Opposites attract, but are some differences too drastic for a romance to survive?

On the surface, Benson Howard Winthrop III and Hugh Bayard have a lot in common: they’re young, handsome, and blessed to be one of the wealthiest couples in the country. Surely they have everything anyone could want. But Ben is no longer satisfied with their long-running relationship. Hugh’s need to control every situation is suffocating him, and Ben needs to know if he can make it on his own merits by following his passion.

But Ben’s mother isn’t about to let her son live in a rundown apartment as a struggling actor. She’s determined to get him back to his rightful place at the top of the social ladder—and back with Hugh.

Rekindling their romance will require more than doing what’s expected. Ben and Hugh need to understand and embrace each other’s differences. They’ll have to support each other even when one makes a decision the other doesn’t agree with. For their passionate love to grow, they will need to redefine the meaning of romance… only then can they find true happiness.

To all those struggling to keep it together.

CHAPTER ONE

THE STENCH of stale alcohol and sex hit me before I even opened my eyes. I lay there for several moments trying to figure out what was happening and hoping it was nothing more than the lingering effects of a bad dream. I knew it wasn’t, but I was holding on to the possibility a bit longer because reality was seriously going to suck. My bladder, on the other hand, had other ideas. It wasn’t going to allow me to hide. Slowly I opened my eyes and blinked several times until they adjusted to the bright sunlight streaming into the room. The bedroom looked like a tornado had touched down: pictures on the wall tilted, lamp overturned, clothes scattered, and shoes tossed aside with abandon. All proof of a night of poor choices, and if that wasn’t enough, the rumbling snoring sounds coming from next to me surely were. I turned my head toward the noise and slapped a hand over my eyes. Oh, you did it this time, Ben. You lost your goddamn mind. I splayed my fingers, took a quick peek, and groaned. Lying next to me in all his naked glory was my ex-husband, Hugh Bayard.

The weight of the situation crashed down on me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t get out of that bed fast enough. I stood beside the mattress, staring at Hugh, trying to get a grasp on how in the hell I’d come to be in bed with my ex. Then the thick alcohol-infused cloud lifted and the events of the night before came rushing back with humiliating clarity. Hugh’s invitation to dinner, the drinks—far, far too much alcohol, then… I groaned again. What an idiot. I knew better than to drink to excess, especially around Hugh. We sat at the restaurant, eating, drinking, laughing. I remember the tingling, thinking this wasn’t going to turn out well, then the next thing in a taxi heading to my place. Kissing, hands roaming over warm skin, clothes falling away….

How could I have been so stupid? I’d done the one thing I swore I would never do again—let Hugh Bayard back into my bed.

Embarrassment, irritation, and regret increased by the second. Then, just to add the cherry to the top of my emotional cocktail, I had to look at Hugh again. Even in sleep, the man looked polished. His dark salt-and-pepper hair, cut short enough that there was no bed head, his neatly trimmed beard, streaked with silver, accentuating his strong jawline. His features lay slack, giving him a softer look. If it was possible, Hugh looked even better asleep. Suddenly, without waking, he rolled, covering his head with the sheet. Irritation filled me again, and I snapped out of my lustful thoughts. How appropriate—Hugh Bayard turning his back on me after he’s fucked me.

I snatched up what clothes I could find and stomped into the bathroom. I gave in to the demand of my bladder, then took care of whatever had crawled into my mouth and died during the night. Minty fresh, I left the bathroom without a glance at my reflection. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to like what I saw. Instead, I ran my fingers through my knotted hair, smoothing it down best I could. No doubt, I looked like a crazy man, but I didn’t care. Hell, it was only appropriate—I had the crazy all over me.

For once, my poor housekeeping skills were a bonus because I found my unfolded laundry in a basket on the coffee table. I rummaged through it, found clean underwear and jeans but no shirt. I searched the area—aha—my shirt from the night before was on the floor near the closet. I grabbed it, shrugged into it, and instantly regretted the decision. The cotton material still smelled of Hugh’s rich scent, which just irritated me all the more.It didn’t matter that I was just as guilty of the epically bad decisions. Hugh was the one who brought out this side of me. This was all his fault, and now his scent was all over me again. I hated it, but I’d rather cut off my left nut than go back in the bedroom and take the risk of facing Hugh again.

I found my sneakers beneath the couch and jammed my feet into them without socks. I found my wallet on the kitchen counter and shoved it in my back pocket. After one last look around, I fled the apartment. It was going to be a long, long workday, but first, I had to find something for the throbbing in my head or the day wouldn’t only be long, but painful.

THE FIRST hour at the Common Cure, the local restaurant and bar I’d been lucky enough to get employment at when I’d first come to the city, was pure hell. The drumbeat in my head had quieted, but that left me with nothing to do but focus on the bad choices I’d made. Epically bad choices, the little voice in my head clarified, whom I just as quickly told to shut the fuck up. Thankfully, around eleven, the lunch rush picked up before I could go completely insane. It was all I could do to keep up with the crowds rushing in with the hope they’d make it to the front of the line before their lunch break ended. The mass of people fighting each other for a meal during a New York City hour boggled my mind. Hadn’t anyone ever heard of a frickin’ sack lunch?

“Hey, Ben. What’s up?” Melanie, or Mel as I so fondly called her, popped up next me to check out the crab salad I was making. “You’ve been distracted all morning.”

“No, no, really. I’m just peachy, nothing going on with me,” I grumbled without looking up. I couldn’t meet her gaze. She’d know something wasn’t right. She had an irritating way of knowing when I’d fucked up.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing is wrong, so spill it,” Mel insisted.

“I’d really rather not.”

“Too bad. You know I won’t let it go until you tell me,” Mel said, sounding determined.

That was okay—I was just as determined not to get into it. I wiped my hands on my apron, then made the mistake of glancing at Mel. My resolve faltered. Mel and I had hit it off instantly when we first met, even with our ten-year age difference. Melanie Knutson, with her blonde curls, bright blue eyes, and turned-up nose, looked much younger than her twenty-four years. However, beneath that sweet appearance was a motivated, single-minded, and dogged spirit intent on changing the world one goal at a time. Not only did she work full-time at the Common Cure, but she also took a full load of college courses, determined to be a social worker someday. Mel had grown up in foster care and was appalled by how some of those who were supposed to protect children failed miserably. She wanted to make a difference and was a huge advocate for reform to the current system. I had no doubt she’d do remarkable things.

“What happened?” Mel insisted. When I remained silent, she added, “Come on, Ben. I can tell you’re dying to get whatever it is off your chest.”

“I totally fucked up!” Robert, the dishwasher jerked his head around to gawk at us. Great! I gritted my teeth and lowered my voice. “I did something really, really stupid.”

“You didn’t call for bail money, so I seriously doubt it’s that bad.”

“I wish it was as simple as needing bond.” My body heated as unwanted memories from the night before flooded back. Hugh kissing me, fumbling hands on zippers and buttons. Skin, heat, pleasure…. I gave myself an internal shake. Mel was a good friend, but I had to get myself back in the present. I was sure she wouldn’t have appreciated me popping a boner while she was grilling me. I shoved the unwanted images away and took deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. I stole a glance at Mel, who was still staring at me with an expectant expression and tapping her foot impatiently.

“Fine! I slept with my ex last night,” I blurted.

Mel’s eye went comically wide. “What?”

She knew all about my disastrous marriage to Hugh. God, I couldn’t count the number of times I’d sworn to her that I wouldn’t touch Hugh again, not even with a ten-foot pole, so it was no wonder she was staring at me in shock.

“I know, I know. Hugh showed up unannounced, informed me that my mother is getting married. I mean, I was skeptical. I totally wouldn’t put it past my mother to make something like that up just to get me to come home. You know she just can’t seem to help herself from trying to find ways to dig her controlling tendrils back into me. But my mommy issues are for another time.” I blew out a pent-up breath. “He got me drunk.”

Mel arched her brows. “Sure he did.”

“I’m serious, Mel, he did.”

Mel waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever, Ben. Regardless of whether he did or didn’t, I’m insanely jealous right now.”

“About what?” I asked incredulously.

“You told me your ex is hot, hung, and rich.” Mel tilted her head, a blonde curl falling into her face. She blew it out of the way before saying, “On second thought, I think I kind of hate you right now. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve gotten any action?”

“No, and I don’t want to know, so zip it.” I scowled at her. “But you’re more than welcome to Hugh. Be my guest. Just let me know how great you feel after he bangs you, then turns his back on you once he’s satisfied.” I snapped my mouth shut as the anger began to bubble up.

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

Sincerity filled Mel’s voice, but she really didn’t understand my reasoning. Mel focused so much on her goals that she had no desire to tie herself to anyone. She had no problem keeping emotions out of the physical equation. Sex for pure pleasure and nothing more. God, how I wished I could do the same thing. If only I could have compartmentalized like that. Unfortunately, I’d been in love with Hugh since even before I knew what the meaning of love was. I’d never been with anyone but Hugh, and the thought of being with someone else in the future…. I really didn’t want to think about it. “Apology accepted, but only if you’ll cover for me this afternoon? I’ve got an audition.”

“Seriously, Ben? You’re going to use my insensitivity for your personal gain. That’s low, man.”

“Yes, I am,” I told her and smiled broadly. “Now get back to work before you get us both fired.”

“This isn’t over,” Mel assured me. Nonetheless, it was for now—she was forced to get back to work when the crowd continued to swell and the manager began to shout.

I STOOD outside the small rundown building and frowned. I checked the address again, and it was the right place. It wasn’t Broadway—hell, it wasn’t much more than a community theater that looked like it was on the verge of being boarded up—but I was desperate. I’d take what I could get. I’d exhausted and embarrassed myself trying out for role after role. It was the same “don’t call us, we’ll call you” response each time. And those were the nice ones. I’d finally broken down and hired an agent—sort of. Frank Wolfe was new to the biz, still in the process of building his clientele. It was the only reason I could afford him. What Frank lacked in experience, he made up for in enthusiasm.

Hot musty air hit me when I opened the door, and sweat instantly bloomed on my brow. I pulled a napkin from my pocket and swiped it across my forehead, hoping to look less rattled than I was. In the main theater, there were row upon rows of scarred wooden seats sloped toward the stage. The carpeted aisles were threadbare and stained. The place was nearly as shabby as my apartment, and it didn’t smell any better either. Even so, the familiar reactions that any theater evoked in me kicked in. My pulse sped up a notch, and butterflies took flight in my stomach. The place may not have looked it, but to me it was magical. I’d experienced the same reaction when my parents took me to my first Broadway show as a kid. I sat between them in awe, captivated by the lights shining on the stage, the glittering costumes, and the amazing backdrops. The actors onstage danced to the orchestra’s movements and melody, even when only speaking. Every detail of that enchanted night imprinted itself on my young mind. A dream sparked inside me, and I knew someday I would be an actor.

I studied the group of people milling around the stage. Maybe this was my chance. I squared my shoulders and walked confidently down the aisle. I’d put my dreams on hold for far too long.

An older woman, overly dyed red hair pulled into a tight bun with pencils stuck in it, sat at a table with papers scattered across it. She looked up when I approached, her lime-green glasses perched precariously on the tip of her narrow nose. She looked like she belonged there in that theater, quite the colorful character. She raked her eyes up and down me with a disapproving expression. “Honey, you’re about ten years too late for the starring role.” She chomped her gum, popped it noisily, then went back to rustling through the papers in front of her. “Next!”

Story of my life. Honestly, the blame sat squarely on my shoulders. I was kicking myself in the ass for not going after my dream sooner. I’d waited too long. “Umm, ma’am?”

She lifted her head slightly, her lips pursed. “You’re still there.”

“Yes, ma’am. Is there another role I could read for? I’ll take anything.”

She studied me for a moment, her expression not softening in the least. I held my breath, and sweat rolled down my temple. It felt like an eternity but was, in actuality, only seconds before she said, “Fine. I suppose you can read from the uncle’s lines.”

My heart started beating again, and a smile stretched my face. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she said flatly. She rummaged through the papers before her and thrust out a crumpled stack. “Here’s the script. Start at scene two. Mike will read with you.” She pointed toward a metal chair on the stage. “Have a seat.”

I took the script with a shaking hand. I glanced at the paper, and for a moment, it looked like it was a foreign language. My excitement instantly turned to apprehension. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, then studied the paper again. Oh, thank hell, I could read it, but the mini-freak-out had shaken me. My legs were trembling when I climbed the steps to the stage. Thankfully, I didn’t make a fool of myself and fall on my ass. Yet, with the way my throat was constricting, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to speak. A tumble down the stairs didn’t seem all that tragic right then. I forced my feet to move. I could do this. I took the chair as instructed and swallowed down the lump of fear in my throat. I can do this. Saying it enough times might make it true.

Mike, an older gentleman with a thick gray beard and sour expression, came to stand next to me. He started reading, but he was mumbling so badly, I was having a tough time understanding him. I said a little prayer and then scanned the script, trying to figure out where we were at and where my cue was. However, I missed it, because Mike cleared his throat and nudged my arm. I automatically started speaking. My voice was flat, and I sounded as if I was reading from an instruction manual rather than becoming the character. I tried to capture the essence of the uncle, but it was in vain. No matter how hard I tried, I simply wasn’t feeling it. Somehow, I got through it. The scene ended and I looked toward red-haired woman. By the way she was looking at me with a bored expression, I’d bombed miserably.

“Next,” she called.

Dejected, I left the theater. I’d never sucked that bad at an audition, including my first, which was really saying something. It had to be the reappearance of Hugh that had thrown me off so badly. It was the only explanation. My acting teacher had been a godsend, and with her help, I’d made great strides. It had to be Hugh’s fault. He had strolled back into my life, messed with my head, and shredded my confidence.

Bastard!

CHAPTER TWO

I LEANED my head against the bus window and watched the landscape fly by in a blur of color. I dreaded each mile. I didn’t want to return to Charleston. While I was looking forward to seeing my family, I would also have to face Hugh.

Dammit, why had I let Hugh seduce me? In irritation, I shut down my Kindle and stuffed it into my messenger bag. I’d spent the entire journey from New York to Charleston thinking about Hugh Bayard. What a stupid way to spend my time. Hugh wasn’t worth it. Twenty-two wasted hours I could never get back.

The bus maneuvered the narrow streets of Charleston, South Carolina, and I pushed Hugh’s memory down and tried my best to concentrate on the beauty of the town I’d grown up in—the grand historical homes that lined the road, the manicured lawns and array of colorful blooms—but the stunning beauty of the town wasn’t enough. The painful truth: Hugh was never far from my thoughts.

It seemed not that long ago that the touch of Hugh’s lips and the caress of his hands had branded me in some irrevocable way. Perhaps I resented Hugh for that more than anything else. In spite of Hugh’s emotional distance, he’d been a very good lover. Too good. Could I ever find another man who could compare with Hugh that way? Perhaps I should try. I needed a comparison, or at the very least someone to fuck the memory of Hugh right out of my head.

The bus came to a stop, and I had to force myself to exit with the rest of the passengers. I was tense, my movements jerky, and my ass hurt from so many hours sitting on it. The stench of diesel fuel wafted up around me as I made my way into the station with a messenger bag and one small suitcase. I didn’t plan to stay long. A few days—then back to New York and on with my life.

“Hello, Ben.”

I whirled around toward the unmistakable voice of my ex and glared at him. Why did he have to be here? Couldn’t the bastard have given me at least a little more time to get my shit together before facing him? Apparently not. Because Hugh was standing there, wide smug grin on his all-too-handsome face.

I continued to glare at him for a few heartbeats, then abruptly turned my back on him. Not the most mature thing to do, but I needed a second, dammit. Unfortunately, it did no good. The tension tightened in me like I was an overwound clock. The sensation increased exponentially as I felt Hugh’s gaze boring into me, cranking and cranking that damn clock mechanism. Just when I thought my goddamn head would explode, Hugh came around to stand in front of me. I struggled to present an aloof facade but was sure I failed miserably.

“Hello, Hugh,” I said stiffly. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Hugh smiled wryly. “It’s good to see you too, Ben.”

“Don’t be so condescending. I would think being snobbish is beneath you.”

“It is, and I’m serious, it is good to see you. I never got a chance to say goodbye the last time,” Hugh drawled in that infuriatingly sexy, slow manner of his.

“Still, you managed to leave your message.” I rummaged inside my messenger bag, found the envelope, and thrust it at Hugh. “There. I’m returning your money.” Suddenly I was as furious as I’d been when I’d found it tucked under my coffeepot, like he was leaving payment for services rendered. I was pissed.

Hugh stared at the envelope. “I just wanted to help out. After seeing how you live, it doesn’t—”

I held up a hand. “Just take the goddamn money. I don’t need nor want your handouts.”

Hugh hesitated but then took the envelope without saying another word. The silence stretched out uncomfortably. It only fueled my irritation, and I couldn’t help but throw another jab at Hugh. “If you’re taking time away from the office, Mother must have bribed you to retrieve me like a good little puppy,” I said snidely.

“No, I volunteered to pick you up. I thought we could finally clear the air about a few things,” Hugh said calmly.

Either Hugh was oblivious to my irritation or didn’t care. Of course, that just pissed me off all the more. “I don’t think there is anything to clear up. I’d be okay if we agree to never speak again.”

“Aww, c’mon, Ben, you don’t mean that. Here, let me take that for you.” Hugh took my suitcase before I had a chance to reply. I clenched my jaw to hold back the curse and followed him. While my stride was stiff, Hugh strolled with grace and confidence. My gaze was drawn to his firm ass as it swayed with each step. I tried not to appreciate such a fine backside, but it was impossible. I’d never been able to resist Hugh’s sex appeal. He was tall with broad shoulders, a lean waist, and well-defined muscular legs—all the things I found attractive. Even during the difficult times in our relationship, I couldn’t help but crave Hugh. The physical aspect of our relationship had never been a problem. It was the affection that was lacking. Hugh rarely shared his feelings. Always having to guess and wonder what the man was thinking and feeling was maddening. In the end, I ran. Cowardice, perhaps, but I didn’t really have a choice.

Hugh tossed my suitcase into the back of his SUV, and I slid into the passenger seat and stared straight ahead. A few seconds later, Hugh got us on the road. “It’s a little stuffy in here,” Hugh said and flipped on the air conditioner.

“I think it’s fine.” I shut the air vent on the dash in front of me. Sweat trickled down my spine shortly after, and I grudgingly opened the vent again.

“Why do you have to do that?”

“Do what,” I snapped without turning away from the window.

“Argue with me.”

“I don’t do it all the time.”

“Sure, you do,” Hugh said with a hint of amusement. “We’d go out and you’d insist on being the one to pay the tab. You’d argue with my opinion about a concert, a movie, or a book. You’d argue with me about anything and everything. Hell, I swear you liked to argue just for the sake of arguing.”

I tensed. I’d been so young when I’d fallen in love with Hugh. Young, in love, and at the same time, needing desperately to declare my independence. From the beginning, Hugh’s powerful personality had inspired both fascination and rebellion in me. It made for a volatile combination.

“I remember you enjoyed goading me, just as you’re doing now,” I grumbled.

“Aww, Benny, would I do that?”

I turned my head just long enough to roll my eyes at him before staring back out the window. Benny. Hugh’s private name for me, a name no one else had ever used nor would I have allowed anyone else to. I made an effort to concentrate on the scenery instead of how my stomach fluttered.

The downtown streets behind us, we drove along the water’s edge. A few people were out walking on the beach. Gulls soared effortlessly on the breeze, and the sun glinted off the waves. I tried to enjoy the scene. I’d always loved the ocean, but I couldn’t relax. Hugh had a way of doing that to me.

Before we made it to the Winthrop mansion, Hugh pulled off the main road and down a narrow dirt one. I gritted my teeth. I knew exactly where we were going and what his plans were. We’d spent plenty of time at the abandoned farmhouse, just sitting around talking. The last damn thing I wanted to do was talk to Hugh. Apparently, he had other ideas, because at the end of the drive, he cut the engine. He stared out the window, gripping the steering wheel tightly. His jaw set in a hard line.

The tension within the small space grew until it was almost suffocating. I rolled my neck, but it did little to ease the strain. When I could no longer stand it, I glanced over at Hugh. “If you’re going to talk about the other night, don’t. There is absolutely nothing to say.”

“Look, I agree things got carried away. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“You and me both,” I grumbled.

“I would have told you if you hadn’t run.”

“Hugh,” I warned.

The muscles in his jaw twitched. “Fine. What I meant to discuss with you is your family. Regardless of whether we get back together, what you’re doing to them isn’t right. You can only use me as an excuse for so long.”

“You did not just say that to me!” When Hugh didn’t respond, I narrowed my eyes. “Are you fucking serious? You wanted to lecture me about my family?”

“Wow, is that what you’ve been doing in New York? Improving your vocabulary?”

“Just one of many things I’ve been doing to improve my life.” I didn’t have to justify anything to Hugh.

“Improve your life?” Hugh laughed. “I’ve seen where you’re living. It’s horrible, Benny, and so are the excuses you’re making for not coming home. You’re hurting your family.”

“That’s the key word, Hugh. My family and I will deal with my family in my own way.”

“I just don’t want you to stay away from them because you’re mad at me.”

“You!” I laughed without mirth. The sound was strangled by bitterness. “You are such an arrogant bastard. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, I’m doing this for me?” I threw up my hands in frustration. “Never mind. You never listen, so what’s the point?”

“That’s not true, Benny.”

“Yes, it is. I’ve tried talking to you, tried explaining why I was unhappy and what I needed. It did no good, so I don’t see the point in rehashing it.”

“This is about my job, isn’t it? You always resented how many hours I had to work.”

I shook my head. “Here we go again down the same damn path. I know what Bayard Investments means to you, but the long hours you put in were only a part of our problem.” Those old feelings of hurt bubbled to the surface, as raw as ever. I wanted to scream, to make Hugh listen for once, but knew it would only end in disappointment. Hugh was the typical “macho” man. He had a hard exterior, not allowing anything or anyone to penetrate to the soft parts within him. It had astounded me when I learned how Hugh spoke highly of me to others, but never once did Hugh ever, ever relay those feelings directly to me. He never said he was proud of me, never complimented me. He only said “I love you” when he felt obligated to repeat it.

“Then tell me. Explain the other problems, and let’s work it out,” Hugh said calmly.

That damn calmness turned my hurt into rage. “Stop it! Just fucking stop it, Hugh. You know damn good and well what I’ve told you. You either ignored me or didn’t care enough, so just stop it!”

Hugh stared at me, and I held his gaze unflinchingly. Hugh started to open his mouth, then quickly shut it again. For the briefest second, I thought I saw pain, maybe regret, in Hugh’s dark eyes. Then, just as quickly, it was gone, and the mask of indifference was firmly back in place. “I care very deeply.”

The first thing to pop into my mind was to tell him just where he could shove it. The right words were coming out of Hugh’s mouth, but they sounded flat. Typical, unemotional Hugh. I was wasting my breath. The worst part, I’d let my emotions get the better of me and allowed Hugh to witness how much he could still affect me. “Yes, I’m sure you do,” I finally told him. “You know what I care about at the moment?”

“What’s that?”

“Going to Mother’s, getting a shower, and getting some clean clothes on.” All those hours on a bus left me exhausted and stinky. I wasn’t in the mood to rehash old shit. My head throbbed. As angry as I was, I couldn’t deny the desire that still swirled inside me. The passion reawakened. I still wanted Hugh, still longed for his touch. I hated feeling that way but had no idea how to change it. My only choice was to stay far, far away from Hugh Bayard. “Are you going to take me home, or should I walk?”

I placed my hand on the door handle. Hugh must have realized how serious I was, because he nodded, started the engine, and put the car in gear. I watched out the side window as the old farmhouse disappeared from view. Nostalgia tightened my chest. This used to be our place, somewhere we could come for privacy and shut the world out for a while. Now it was just an empty field and a rundown shack. Nothing more.

Not wanting to stroll in the past any longer, I focused on the present. “I hear you’ve been dating?”

“Do you believe everything you hear?” Hugh countered.

“No, but I believe the photographs I’ve seen in the Charleston Society Times.” I refused to look at Hugh or acknowledge the jealousy that shot through me every time I’d seen a picture of Hugh with his arm around yet another handsome man or woman. Actually, I’d been surprised to discover that the photos of Hugh with a beautiful woman on his arm bothered me the most. I’d always known both men and women attracted Hugh. Perhaps he’d be more likely to find someone willing to play the role he wanted most among the women of Charleston. Hello, nineteen fifties. On the plus side, he wouldn’t have to go through the hassle and expense of adoption or of hiring a surrogate.

I really was losing my mind. Why did I care who Hugh was with? It was over between us. I’d moved on. I was living my life for myself and no one else. And dammit, I was pretty sure if I said it enough times, I’d even start to believe it.

“Does it bother you?” Hugh asked, pulling me from my musings.

“No, not at all. I was merely making conversation.” The lie flowed from me easily. “You certainly didn’t waste any time to get back into the swing of things.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You made it clear you wanted nothing more to do with me. You’re still making that clear, even though you allowed me to share your bed.”

Hugh was taunting me by bringing up my single night of indiscretion. I refused to let him bait me. I wasn’t going to give Hugh the satisfaction of knowing that I knew he got some perverse pleasure out of it even if he wouldn’t admit it. Hugh had always known my weakness, which hadn’t been hard to figure out since it was the man himself. And sitting in that small car with him wasn’t making it any goddamn easier to resist that pull.

Hugh turned off the road and stopped the car in front of the heavy iron gates that guarded my childhood home. He leaned out his window and punched a series of numbers on the security panel. A second later the gates buzzed and swung open.

I frowned at Hugh. “What the hell? I don’t even know the security code anymore.”

Hugh drove through the archway. The gate clanged shut behind us. “Why does it bother you that I’m still on good terms with your family? I’ve known them pretty much my whole life. Just because—”

“Don’t say it,” I warned. “Besides, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get along with my family, only that I don’t understand how you do. Constant meddling in my affairs means Mother and I can’t spend more than a few minutes together before we’re arguing.”

“You should give her another chance. She’s been quite upset since you left.”

“I seriously doubt that,” I said under my breath. Upset she couldn’t control me, maybe.

Hugh stopped the car in front of the house—although perhaps “house” wasn’t precisely the right term for such an ambitious structure. The Winthrop châteauesque mansion had been built in the late 1800s, at a time when my ancestors had harbored a fondness for French Renaissance châteaus, with their steeply pitched roofs, turrets, and sculptural ornamentation. Architecturally, the place was impressive.

Hugh sat with both hands resting on the steering wheel, tapping his thumbs. Funny that I couldn’t wait before to get out of the small confines of the SUV, away from Hugh, but now I couldn’t seem to move. I wasn’t looking forward to an evening that would surely be highlighted by a blowup between Mother and me.

“Ben, is it really so bad coming home?”

“Yes. You know how Mother is. She can’t help but push and push until I end up saying something she will try and use against me.”

“I can go in with you if you’d like,” Hugh offered.

I glanced at him, then shook my head. “It’s better if I do this alone. That way there won’t be any witnesses to where the body is hidden.”

“C’mon, Benny, you know it’s not that bad. She just wants you to be happy. We all do.”

Meaning: as long as I do what they want. “I appreciate your meeting me at the station,” I said stiffly.

“Well, aren’t you just so polite.”

I pursed my lips. “Yeah, well…. This place brings out the worst in me.”

“I suspect you can handle your family. In a way, you handled all of us a year ago. This time just go a little easier on them, huh?”

I turned from him. How like Hugh to align himself firmly on the side of my family. That’s the way it had always been. My entire family plus Hugh lined up against me. I scrambled out of the car. Before Hugh could join me, I made my way around to the back of the SUV and retrieved my luggage.