Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies E-Book
25,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Take charge of your personal health and well-being with this trusted, all-in-one guide to self-care There's an old saying that goes, "You can't pour from an empty cup." It means that you can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself. And it's never been truer than it is today. In Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies, you'll master the fundamentals of making sure that your cup is always full, so you can give to others without draining your reserves of energy and health. From mindfulness to resilience, fitness, and clean eating, this comprehensive resource takes a holistic look at what it means to take care of yourself and offers you a how-to guide to healthy and fulfilling behaviors. In this book, you'll find: * Concrete strategies for incorporating self-care practices into your busy, everyday life * Discussions of how to manage stress and maintain a mindful and calm demeanor and attitude in the face of modern challenges * An emphasis on being kind and gentle with yourself, ensuring that you don't hold yourself to an impossible or unrealistic standard We're all looking to improve our lives, lift our spirits, and increase our well-being. Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies proves that, while perfection may be out of reach for all of us, you can make meaningful progress toward happiness and fulfilment by taking small, manageable steps towards a calmer, more grounded you.
Sie lesen das E-Book in den Legimi-Apps auf:
Seitenzahl: 1037
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
Ähnliche
Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies®
Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com
Copyright © 2022 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Trademarks: Wiley, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.
LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: WHILE THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHORS HAVE USED THEIR BEST EFFORTS IN PREPARING THIS WORK, THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. NO WARRANTY MAY BE CREATED OR EXTENDED BY SALES REPRESENTATIVES, WRITTEN SALES MATERIALS OR PROMOTIONAL STATEMENTS FOR THIS WORK. THE FACT THAT AN ORGANIZATION, WEBSITE, OR PRODUCT IS REFERRED TO IN THIS WORK AS A CITATION AND/OR POTENTIAL SOURCE OF FURTHER INFORMATION DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHORS ENDORSE THE INFORMATION OR SERVICES THE ORGANIZATION, WEBSITE, OR PRODUCT MAY PROVIDE OR RECOMMENDATIONS IT MAY MAKE. THIS WORK IS SOLD WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THE PUBLISHER IS NOT ENGAGED IN RENDERING PROFESSIONAL SERVICES. THE ADVICE AND STRATEGIES CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUR SITUATION. YOU SHOULD CONSULT WITH A SPECIALIST WHERE APPROPRIATE. FURTHER, READERS SHOULD BE AWARE THAT WEBSITES LISTED IN THIS WORK MAY HAVE CHANGED OR DISAPPEARED BETWEEN WHEN THIS WORK WAS WRITTEN AND WHEN IT IS READ. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR AUTHORS SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF PROFIT OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES.
For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-572-4002. For technical support, please visit https://hub.wiley.com/community/support/dummies.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022934345
ISBN 978-1-119-87505-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-87506-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-87507-9 (ebk)
Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies®
To view this book's Cheat Sheet, simply go to www.dummies.com and search for “Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the Search box.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
About This Book
Foolish Assumptions
Icons Used in This Book
Beyond the Book
Where to Go from Here
Book 1: Being Present through Mindfulness
Chapter 1: Discovering Mindfulness
Understanding the Meaning of Mindfulness
Looking at Mindfulness Meditation
Using Mindfulness to Help You
Chapter 2: Enjoying the Benefits of Mindfulness
Relaxing the Body
Calming the Mind
Soothing Your Emotions
Uplifting Your Spirit
Knowing Thyself: Discovering Your Observer Self
Chapter 3: Making Mindfulness a Daily Habit
Discovering the Secret to Change
Exploring Your Intentions
Chapter 4: Humans Being Versus Humans Doing
Delving into the Doing Mode of Mind
Embracing the Being Mode of Mind
Combining Being and Doing
Being in the Zone: The Psychology of Flow
Encouraging a Being Mode of Mind
Chapter 5: Using Mindfulness for Yourself
Using a Mini Mindful Exercise
Using Mindfulness to Look After Yourself
Chapter 6: Using Mindfulness in Your Daily Life
Using Mindfulness at Work
Using Mindfulness on the Move
Using Mindfulness in the Home
Book 2: Treating Yourself with Compassion
Chapter 1: Exploring Self-Compassion
Befriending Yourself: A Splendid New Relationship
Understanding Self-Compassion
Looking at the Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion
Asking the Fundamental Question of Self-Compassion
Activating Your Secret Weapon for Safety, Warmth, and Connection
Introducing the Mindful Self-Compassion Program
Chapter 2: The Self-Compassion Road Ahead
Why Self-Compassion Isn’t Always Easy
Getting the Most Out of a Self-Compassion Practice
The Four Noble Truths: A Buddhist Perspective on Being Human
Finding What You Need to Feel Safe and Courageous
Chapter 3: Common Humanity: Connection and Belonging
The Inescapable Truth: We Need Each Other
Acknowledging Our Universal Human Need
Two Tasks to Embrace Common Humanity
Practice: Just Like Me
Chapter 4: Cultivating Your Innate Kindness
We All Just Want to Be Happy
Investing in Your Capacity to Be Kind
Practice: Lovingkindness for a Loved One
Chapter 5: Discovering Core Values: Your Inner Compass
Core Values Guide Us and “Re-Mind” Us
Dark Nights and Dark Clouds: Wisdom Gleaned from Life’s Challenges
Book 3: Facing Challenges with Resilience
Chapter 1: Embarking on the Journey to Resilience
Noting That Resilience Is for Everyone
Figuring Out the Factors That Determine Resilience
Understanding What Resilience Is Not
Breaking the Victim Cycle
Chapter 2: The Basis of Resilience: Harmony Versus Stress
Understanding the Perpetual Quest for Harmony
Examining the Stress Response Feedback Loop
Living in Disharmony: The Real Stress
Expecting a Good Outcome Is the Key
Coping to Adapt, or Not
Harmonizing Stress and Becoming Resilient
Chapter 3: Developing Mental Toughness and Clarity
What Kind of Mindset Do Resilient People Have?
Fixed Versus Growth Mindsets When It Comes to Resilience
Developing Mental Toughness
Accessing Mental Clarity
Chapter 4: Achieving Emotional Equilibrium
Emotions Exist for a Very Good Reason
How Emotions Influence Perception and Coping
Evaluating Your Feelings
Choosing to Manage Your Emotions
Calming Your Emotions By Calming the Stress Response
Shifting to Positive Detachment and Reappraisal
Enhancing Your Self-Awareness and Willingness to Grow
Always Choosing Love
Chapter 5: Improving Your Relationship with Yourself
Connecting Resilience with Self-Worth
Believing in Your Worth
Noting Self-Criticism
Evaluating Your Self-Value
Starting to Take Action
Taking Care of YOU
Allowing Love In
Book 4: Feeling Better with a Bit of Fitness
Chapter 1: Cardio Crash Course: Getting the Right Intensity
Comparing Aerobic and Anaerobic Exercise
Understanding the Importance of Warming Up and Cooling Down
Using Simple Methods to Gauge Your Level of Effort
Measuring Your Heart Rate
Chapter 2: Exercising Outdoors
Walking for Fitness
Running: Get Up and Go
Bicycling Around
Exercising in Water
Chapter 3: Strengthening and Lengthening Your Muscles
Why You’ve Gotta Lift Weights
Flexibility Training: Getting the Scoop on Stretching
Exploring Stretching Techniques
Still Life: Doing Static Stretching
Chapter 4: All about Yoga
Looking at What Yoga Can Do for Your Body
Finding a Yoga Style That’s Right for You
Getting Started
Trying a Yoga Routine
Chapter 5: Choosing an Exercise Class or Virtual Workout
Getting Through When You Haven’t a Clue: Taking an Exercise Class
Working Out with an Onscreen Instructor
Book 5: Providing Your Body with Top-Notch Nutrition
Chapter 1: Eating Clean for a Healthier Body, Mind, and Soul
What Clean Eating Really Is
Considering the Dangers in Processed Foods
Surveying the Benefits of Eating Clean
Chapter 2: Applying Eating Clean Principles to Daily Living
The Principles of Clean Eating
Managing Cravings and Feelings of Deprivation
Chapter 3: Nutrition Basics: You Really Are What You Eat
Figuring Out What Your Body Needs (And What It Doesn’t Need)
Considering the Roles of Proteins, Carbs, and Fats
Getting the Vitamins and Minerals You Need to Stay Healthy
Protecting Your Health with Fiber
Water: The Essential Nutrient
Chapter 4: Eat More, Eat Often
Listening to Your Body
Getting Started with Good Food Choices
Book 6: Scaling Back the Stress in Your Life
Chapter 1: Getting a Handle on the Causes and Effects of Stress
Experiencing a Stress Epidemic?
Understanding Where All This Stress Is Coming From
Looking at the Signs and Symptoms of Stress
Understanding How Stress Can Make You Sick
Chapter 2: Relaxing Your Body
Stress Can Be a Pain in the Neck (And That’s Just for Starters)
Breathing Away Your Tension
Tensing Your Way to Relaxation
Mind over Body: Using the Power of Suggestion
Stretching Away Your Stress
Massage? Ah, There’s the Rub!
Taking a Three-Minute Energy Burst
More Ways to Relax
Chapter 3: Finding More Time
Determining Whether You Struggle with Time Management
Being Mindful of Your Time
Becoming a List Maker
Minimizing Your Distractions and Interruptions
Getting around Psychological Roadblocks to Time Management
Letting Go: Discovering the Joys of Delegating
Buying Time
Chapter 4: Stress-Reducing Organizational Skills
Figuring Out Why Your Life Is So Disorganized
Clearing Away the Clutter
Organizing Your Space
Organizing Information
Keeping Your Life Organized
Chapter 5: De-Stressing at Work
Reading the Signs of Workplace Stress
Knowing What’s Triggering Your Work Stress
Making Positive Changes to Control Your Workplace Stress
Taking Advantage of Company Perks
Coming Home More Relaxed (And Staying That Way)
Book 7: Reining In Online Activities
Chapter 1: Defining and Overcoming Internet Addiction in a Nutshell
Defining Behavioral Addiction
Understanding How and Why People Get Addicted to Screens and the Internet
Digging into Digital Devices and the Internet
Recognizing the Threats
Identifying the Signs and Symptoms of Internet and Screen Addiction
Recovering from Internet and Screen Addiction
Balancing Technology with Real-Time Living
Chapter 2: Discovering What Makes the Internet and Smartphones So Addictive
Eyes on the Prize: Factors Involving Focus on a Screen
The Good (or Bad) Stuff: Factors Involving Content
This Must Be the Place: The Internet as the Car, Map, and Destination
The Human Factor: The Internet as a Digital Drug
Chapter 3: Examining the Addictive Nature of Social Media
A Social Network: A Rose by Any Other Name
Recognizing What Makes You Come Back to Social Media for More
Seeking Communication and Self-Esteem — But at a Price
Seeing Why Social Media Can Be Counter-Social
Finding Relief: Life beyond Social Media
Chapter 4: The Endless Stream: Binge Watching TV and Online Entertainment
Missing Your Life While Being Entertained: The Ease of the Binge
Looking at Other Problems of Watching TV All the Time
It’s a Choice: Screening the Stream
Chapter 5: Adopting Self-Help Strategies
Remembering That Life Isn’t Lived on a Screen
Disrupting Your Tech Habits with a Digital Detox
Monitoring and Limiting Your Time and Content on Screens
Establishing Values-Based Tech Use
Removing Notifications and Addictive Apps
Filling Your Life with Real-Time Activities
Index
About the Authors
Connect with Dummies
End User License Agreement
List of Tables
Book 1 Chapter 1
TABLE 1-1 Relaxation versus Mindfulness
Book 4 Chapter 1
TABLE 1-1 Perceived Exertion
Book 5 Chapter 1
TABLE 1-1 The Six Degrees of Clean Eating
Book 5 Chapter 2
TABLE 2-1 Flavorful Clean Foods
Book 5 Chapter 4
TABLE 4-1 Fast-Food Meal
TABLE 4-2 Eating Clean Meal
Book 6 Chapter 3
TABLE 3-1 Time Log for Monday
TABLE 3-2 Will Do Today: Tuesday, January 5
List of Illustrations
Book 1 Chapter 2
FIGURE 2-1: The different types of attention.
Book 1 Chapter 3
FIGURE 3-1: The ups and downs of motivation.
FIGURE 3-2: To create a habit you need a cue, the action, and a sense of reward...
FIGURE 3-3: The three components of mindfulness.
Book 1 Chapter 4
FIGURE 4-1: The ocean of doing and being.
FIGURE 4-2: Stepping back from thoughts and emotions using mindfulness.
Book 1 Chapter 5
FIGURE 5-1: How the breathing space acts as a bridge between formal and informa...
FIGURE 5-2: The three-minute breathing space meditation progresses like an hour...
Book 2 Chapter 1
FIGURE 1-1: The yin-yang symbol.
Book 2 Chapter 2
FIGURE 2-1: Zones of Emotional Tolerance.
Book 4 Chapter 3
FIGURE 3-1: The Neck Stretch loosens and relaxes the muscles in your neck.
FIGURE 3-2: The Chest Expansion promotes good posture.
FIGURE 3-3: The Back Expansion stretches your shoulders, arms, and back.
FIGURE 3-4: The Standing Hamstring Stretch targets your rear-thigh muscles.
FIGURE 3-5: The Standing Quad Stretch targets your front-thigh muscles.
FIGURE 3-6: The Double Calf Stretch helps relieve tightness in your calf muscle...
FIGURE 3-7: The Hip Stretch increases hip and glute flexibility.
FIGURE 3-8: The Butterfly Stretch targets your inner thighs, groin, hips, and l...
Book 4 Chapter 4
FIGURE 4-1: Downward-Facing Dog.
FIGURE 4-2: Forward Bend.
FIGURE 4-3: Child’s Pose.
FIGURE 4-4: Sage Twist with a twist.
FIGURE 4-5: Cat Pose.
FIGURE 4-6: Triangle Pose.
FIGURE 4-7: Sun Salutation.
Book 6 Chapter 2
FIGURE 2-1: A good position for body scanning.
FIGURE 2-2: Evaluating your breathing.
FIGURE 2-3: Balloon breathing.
FIGURE 2-4: Relaxing your feet and legs.
Book 6 Chapter 5
FIGURE 5-1: Unwind a bit with the pec stretch and squeeze.
FIGURE 5-2: The leg lift works your quadriceps and abdominal muscles.
FIGURE 5-3: Use some elbow grease to ease tension in your upper back.
Book 7 Chapter 5
FIGURE 5-1: With the Real-Time 100, you make a list of 100 activities that don’...
Guide
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Index
About the Authors
Pages
i
ii
1
2
3
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
Introduction
Life in the 21st century is hectic and stressful — which is why taking care of yourself is more important than ever. You can’t care for others if you don’t take care of yourself! Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies is here to help you build and consistently use healthy, uplifting, and fulfilling habits.
About This Book
Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies provides guidance, tools, and resources for incorporating self-care practices into your busy everyday life. Here, you get tips on practicing mindfulness, building self-compassion and resilience, starting a fitness routine, eating clean, managing stress, and living a lower-tech life.
A quick note: Sidebars (shaded boxes of text) dig into the details of a given self-care technique or topic, but they aren’t crucial to understanding it. Feel free to read them or skip them. You can pass over the text accompanied by the Technical Stuff icon, too. The text marked with this icon gives some interesting but nonessential information about a particular self-care method.
One last thing: Within this book, you may note that some web addresses break across two lines of text. If you’re reading this book in print and want to visit one of these web pages, simply key in the web address exactly as it’s noted in the text, pretending as though the line break doesn’t exist. If you’re reading this as an e-book, you’ve got it easy — just click the web address to be taken directly to the web page.
Foolish Assumptions
Here are some assumptions about why you’re picking up this book:
You’re looking for small yet meaningful steps to improve your overall wellbeing.
You want to manage stress and remain resilient in the face of daily challenges.
You want to develop the ability to quiet your inner critic and give yourself compassion.
You’re interested in starting (or restarting) a fitness routine and clean eating habits.
You wonder whether you’re spending too much time online and want proven methods for reducing your Internet activity.
Icons Used in This Book
Like all For Dummies books, this book features icons to help you navigate the information. Here’s what they mean.
If you take away anything from this book, it should be the information marked with this icon.
This icon flags information that digs a little deeper than usual into a given self-care practice.
This icon highlights especially helpful advice about starting or continuing a self-care practice.
This icon points out situations and actions to avoid as you start taking better care of yourself.
Beyond the Book
In addition to the material in the print or e-book you’re reading right now, this product comes with some access-anywhere goodies on the web. Check out the free Cheat Sheet for information on mindfulness, self-compassion, resilience, fitness, clean eating, stress management, and reducing online activity. To get this Cheat Sheet, simply go to www.dummies.com and search for “Self-Care All-in-One For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the Search box.
Where to Go from Here
You don’t have to read this book from cover to cover, but you can if you like! If you just want to find specific information on a type of self-care practice, take a look at the table of contents or the index, and then dive into the chapter or section that interests you.
For example, if you want the basics of mindfulness, go to Book 1. If you want to explore self-compassion and resilience, check out Books 2 and 3. If you prefer to find out more about fitness and clean eating, head to Books 4 and 5. Stress getting you down? Flip to Book 6. Or if you want the scoop on living a lower-tech life, Book 7 is the place to be.
No matter where you start, you’ll find the information you need to take better care of yourself every day. Good luck!
Book 1
Being Present through Mindfulness
Contents at a Glance
Chapter 1: Discovering Mindfulness
Understanding the Meaning of Mindfulness
Looking at Mindfulness Meditation
Using Mindfulness to Help You
Chapter 2: Enjoying the Benefits of Mindfulness
Relaxing the Body
Calming the Mind
Soothing Your Emotions
Uplifting Your Spirit
Knowing Thyself: Discovering Your Observer Self
Chapter 3: Making Mindfulness a Daily Habit
Discovering the Secret to Change
Exploring Your Intentions
Chapter 4: Humans Being Versus Humans Doing
Delving into the Doing Mode of Mind
Embracing the Being Mode of Mind
Combining Being and Doing
Being in the Zone: The Psychology of Flow
Encouraging a Being Mode of Mind
Chapter 5: Using Mindfulness for Yourself
Using a Mini Mindful Exercise
Using Mindfulness to Look After Yourself
Chapter 6: Using Mindfulness in Your Daily Life
Using Mindfulness at Work
Using Mindfulness on the Move
Using Mindfulness in the Home
Chapter 1
Discovering Mindfulness
IN THIS CHAPTER
Defining mindfulness
Exploring mindfulness meditation
Discovering the benefits of mindfulness
Mindfulness means flexibly paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, infused with qualities such as kindness, curiosity, acceptance, and openness.
Through being mindful, you discover how to live in the present moment in an enjoyable way rather than worrying about the past or being concerned about the future. The past has already gone and can’t be changed. The future is yet to arrive and is completely unknown. The present moment, this very moment now, is ultimately the only moment you have. Mindfulness shows you how to live in this moment in a harmonious way. You find out how to make the present moment a more wonderful moment to be in — the only place in which you can create, decide, listen, think, smile, act, or live.
You can develop and deepen mindfulness through doing mindfulness meditation on a daily basis, from a few minutes to as long as you want. This chapter introduces you to mindfulness and mindfulness meditation and welcomes you aboard a fascinating journey.
Understanding the Meaning of Mindfulness
Mindfulness was originally developed in ancient times, and can be found in Eastern and Western cultures. Mindfulness is a translation of the ancient Indian word Sati, which means awareness, attention, and remembering.
Awareness:
This is an aspect of being human that makes you conscious of your experiences. Without awareness, nothing would exist for you.
Attention:
Attention is a focused awareness; mindfulness training develops your ability to move and sustain your attention wherever and however you choose.
Remembering:
This aspect of mindfulness is about remembering to pay attention to your experience from moment to moment. Being mindful is easy to forget. The word “remember” originally comes from the Latin
re
(“again”) and
memorari
(“be mindful of”).
Say that you want to practice mindfulness to help you cope with stress. At work, you think about your forthcoming presentation and begin to feel stressed and nervous. By becoming aware of this, you remember to focus your mindful attention to your own breathing rather than constantly worrying. Feeling your breath with a sense of warmth and gentleness helps slowly to calm you down.
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who first developed mindfulness in a therapeutic setting, says: “Mindfulness can be cultivated by paying attention in a specific way, that is, in the present moment, and as non-reactively, non-judgmentally and openheartedly as possible.”
You can break down the meaning even further:
Paying attention:
To be mindful, you need to pay attention, whatever you choose to attend to.
Present moment:
The reality of being in the here and now means you just need to be aware of the way things are,
as they are now
. Your experience is valid and correct just as it is.
Non-reactively: Normally, when you experience something, you automatically react to that experience according to your past conditioning. For example, if you think, “I still haven’t finished my work,” you react with thoughts, words, and actions in some shape or form.
Mindfulness encourages you to respond to your experience rather than react to thoughts. A reaction is automatic and gives you no choice; a response is deliberate and considered action.
Non-judgmentally:
The temptation is to judge experience as good or bad, something you like or dislike. You want to feel bliss; you don’t like feeling afraid. Letting go of judgments helps you to see things as they are rather than through the filter of your personal judgments based on past conditioning.
Openheartedly:
Mindfulness isn’t just an aspect of mind. Mindfulness is of the heart as well. To be open-hearted is to bring a quality of kindness, compassion, warmth, and friendliness to your experience. For example, if you notice yourself thinking, “I’m useless at meditation,” you discover how to let go of this critical thought and gently turn your attention back to the focus of your meditation, whatever that may be.
World-renowned monk Ajahn Brahm says the word mindfulness doesn’t capture the importance of kindness in the practice. So what word does he recommend? Kindfulness. This term can help remind you to bring a warm, friendly awareness when practicing mindfulness — and it just may make you smile too! Be sure to practice being kindful, not just mindful.
Looking at Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a particular type of meditation that’s been well researched and tested in clinical settings.
Meditation isn’t thinking about nothing. Meditation is kindly paying attention in a systematic way to whatever you decide to focus on, which can include awareness of your thoughts. By listening to your thoughts, you discover their habitual patterns. Your thoughts have a massive impact on your emotions and the decisions you make, so being more aware of them is helpful.
In mindfulness meditation, you typically focus on one, or a combination, of the following:
The feeling of your own breathing
Any one of your senses
Your body
Your thoughts or emotions
Your intentions
Whatever is most predominant in your awareness
Mindfulness meditation comes in two distinct types:
Formal meditation:
This meditation is where you intentionally take time in your day to embark on a meditative practice. Time gives you an opportunity to deepen your mindfulness practice and understand more about your mind, its habitual tendencies, and how to be mindful for a sustained period of time, with a sense of kindness and curiosity toward yourself and your experience. Formal meditation is mind training.
Informal meditation:
This is where you go into a focused and meditative state of mind as you go about your daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, walking to work, talking to a friend, driving — anything at all. Think of it as everyday mindfulness. In this way, you continue to deepen your ability to be mindful, and train your mind to stay in the present moment more often rather than habitually straying into the past or future. Informal mindfulness meditation means you can rest in a mindful awareness at any time of day, whatever you’re doing. See
Chapter 6
in Book 1 for more ways to be mindful informally.
To practice meditation means to engage in the meditation exercise — not practicing in the sense of aiming one day to get the meditation perfect. You don’t need to judge your meditation or perfect it in any way. Your experience is your experience. In this instance, practice doesn’t mean rehearsal.
Mindfulness is not just about having your attention caught — it’s about cultivating a flexible attention. Flexible attention means you can choose where to focus your attention. For example, when a child (or adult!) is playing a computer game, they may have their full attention on the game, but the attention is usually not flexible. Their attention is caught by the game. That’s not mindfulness. As you become more mindful, you’re able to move your attention from one place to the other more in a flexible way.
Using Mindfulness to Help You
You know how you get lost in thought? Most of the day, as you go about your daily activities, your mind is left to think whatever it wants. You’re operating on “automatic pilot” (explained more fully in Chapter 4 of Book 1). But some of your automatic thoughts may be unhelpful to you, or perhaps you’re so stuck in those thoughts that you don’t actually experience the world around you. For example, you go for a walk in the park to relax, but your mind is lost in thoughts about your next project. First, you’re not really living in the present moment, and second, you’re making yourself more stressed, anxious, or depressed if your thoughts are unhelpful.
Mindfulness isn’t focused on fixing problems. Mindfulness emphasizes acceptance first, and change may or may not come later. So if you suffer from anxiety, mindfulness shows you how to accept the feeling of anxiety rather than denying or fighting the feeling, and through this approach change naturally comes about. Consider this idea: “What you resist, persists. What you accept, transforms.”
This section explores the many ways in which mindfulness can help you.
In mindfulness, acceptance means to acknowledge your present-moment experience, whether pleasant or unpleasant, is already here. You’re discovering how to “make peace” with your present-moment experience rather than fighting it. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or giving up. Acceptance is an active and empowering state of mind.
Allowing space to heal
When you have a physical illness, it can be a distressing time. Your condition may be painful or even life-threatening. Perhaps your illness means you’re no longer able to do the simple things in life you took for granted before, such as run up the stairs or look after yourself in an independent way. Illness can shake you to your very core. How can you cope with this? How can you build your inner strength to manage the changes that take place, without being overwhelmed and losing all hope?
High levels of stress, particularly over a long period of time, have been clearly shown to reduce the strength of your immune system. Perhaps you went down with the flu after a period of high stress. The scientific evidence strongly agrees. For example, research on care-givers who experience high levels of stress for long periods of time shows that they have a weaker immune system in response to diseases like the flu.
Mindfulness reduces stress, and for this reason is one way of managing illness. By reducing your stress you improve the effectiveness of your immune system, and this may help increase the rate of healing from the illness you suffer, especially if the illness is stress-related.
Mindfulness can reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and depression, and boost energy, creativity, the quality of relationships, and your overall sense of wellbeing. The more you engage in mindfulness, the better: monks who’ve practiced mindfulness all their lives have levels of wellbeing, measured in their brains, way above anything scientists thought was possible. Sometimes their happiness levels are so high, they think there’s something wrong with their brain scanners!
Enjoying greater relaxation
Mindfulness can be a very relaxing experience. As you discover how to rest with an awareness of your breathing or the sounds around you, you may begin to feel calmer.
However, the aim of mindfulness is not relaxation. Relaxation is one of the welcome by-products. In clinical studies comparing the benefits of mindfulness and relaxation, there’s often little beneficial effect in the relaxation exercises but significant benefits in practicing mindfulness. This shows how different they are.
Mindfulness is the development of awareness of your inner and outer experiences, whatever they are, with a sense of kindness, curiosity, and acceptance. You may experience very deep states of relaxation when practicing mindfulness, or you may not. If you don’t, this certainly doesn’t mean you’re practicing mindfulness incorrectly.
Why are relaxation and mindfulness so different? Mindfulness is about cultivating greater awareness of what’s going on within or around you. It’s a state of wakefulness. Whereas relaxation is associated with falling asleep, letting go, and reducing your level of awareness. Mindfulness is about moving toward challenging experiences to help you learn from difficult thoughts, feelings, urges, and sensations. Relaxation is often about moving away from such challenges — which means you can’t learn from them.
When you first begin practicing mindfulness, you may not find it relaxing at all. This is totally normal and nothing to worry about. Try shortening your practices and take a break whenever you wish. Be kind to yourself and let the process of mindfulness be unforced and gentle.
Table 1-1 shows the difference between relaxation and mindfulness exercises.
TABLE 1-1 Relaxation versus Mindfulness
Exercise
Aim
Method
Mindfulness
To pay attention to your experience from moment to moment, as best you can, with kindness, curiosity, acceptance, and openness
To observe your experience and shift your attention back to its focus if you drift into thought, without self-criticism if you can
Relaxation
To make muscles relaxed and to feel calm
Various, such as tightening and letting go of muscles
Improving focus and feeling happier
To be mindful, you usually need to do one thing at a time. When walking, you just walk. When listening, you just listen. When writing, you just write. By practicing formal and informal mindfulness meditation, you’re training your brain, with mindful attitudes such as kindness, curiosity, and acceptance.
So, if you’re writing a report, you focus on that activity as much as you can, without overly straining yourself. Each time your mind wanders off to another thought, you notice what you were thinking about (curiosity), and then without criticizing (remember you’re being kind to yourself), you guide your attention back to the writing. So, you finish your report sooner (less time spent thinking about other stuff) and the work is probably of better quality (because you gave the report your full attention). The more you can focus on what you’re doing, the more you can get done. So mindfulness can help you finish your work early — yippee!
You can’t suddenly decide to focus on your work and then become focused. The power of attention isn’t just a snap decision you make. You can train attention, just as you can train your biceps in a gym. Mindfulness is gym for the mind. However, you don’t need to make a huge effort as you do when working out. When training the mind to be attentive, you need to be gentle or the mind becomes less attentive. This is why mindfulness requires kindness. If you’re too harsh with yourself, your mind rebels. Be mindful with your mind, not against your mind.
Your work also becomes more enjoyable if you’re mindful, and when you’re enjoying something, you’re more creative and focused. If you’re training your mind to be curious about experience rather than bored, you can be curious about whatever you engage in.
Eventually, through experience, you begin to notice that work flows through you, rather than you doing the work. You find yourself feeding the children or making that presentation. You lose the sense of “me” doing this and become more relaxed and at ease. When this happens, the work is effortless, often of a very high quality, and thoroughly enjoyable — which sounds like a nice kind of focus, don’t you think? In psychology, this is called being in a state of flow, and it is strongly associated with greater wellbeing and happiness — yay! (More on going with the flow is in Chapter 4 of Book 1.)
Developing greater wisdom
Wisdom is regarded highly in Eastern and Western traditions. Socrates and Plato considered philosophy as literally the love of wisdom (philo-sophia). According to Eastern traditions, wisdom is your essential nature and leads to a deep happiness for yourself and to helping others to find that happiness within themselves too.
You can access greater wisdom. Mindfulness leads to wisdom, because you learn to handle your own thoughts and emotions skillfully. Just because you have a negative thought, you don’t believe the thought to be true. And when you experience tricky emotions such as sadness, anxiety, or frustration, you’re able to process them using mindfulness rather than being overwhelmed by them.
With your greater emotional balance, you’re able to listen deeply to others and create fulfilling, lasting relationships. With your clear mind, you’re able to make better decisions. With your open heart, you can be happier and healthier.
Mindfulness leads to wisdom because of your greater level of awareness. You become aware of how you relate to yourself, others, and the world around you. With this heightened awareness, you’re in a much better place to make informed choices. Rather than living automatically like a robot, you’re consciously awake and you take action based on reflection and what’s in the best interest of everyone, including yourself.
The Dalai Lama is an example of a wise person. He’s kind and compassionate, and thinks about the welfare of others. He seeks to reduce suffering and increase happiness in humanity as a whole. He isn’t egocentric, laughs a lot, and doesn’t seem overwhelmed with all his duties and the significant losses he’s experienced. People seem to thoroughly enjoy spending time with him. He certainly seems to live in a mindful way.
Think about who you consider to be wise people. What are their qualities? You may find them to be conscious and aware of their actions, rather than habitual and lost in their own thoughts — in other words, they’re mindful!
REACHING THE OTHER SIDE
One day, a young man was going for a walk when he reached a wide river. He spent a long time wondering how he would cross such a gushing current. Just when he was about to give up his journey, he saw his teacher on the other side. The young man shouted from the bank: “Can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river?”
The teacher smiled and replied: “My friend, you are on the other side.”
You may feel that you have to change, when actually you just have to realize that perhaps you’re fine just the way you are. You’re running to achieve goals so that you can be peaceful and happy, but actually you’re running away from the peace and happiness. Mindfulness is an invitation to stop running and rest. You’re already on the other side.
Discovering your true self
Mindfulness can lead to an interesting journey of personal discovery. The word person comes from the Latin word persona, originally meaning a character in a drama, or a mask. The word discovery means to discover or to uncover. So in this sense, personal discovery is about uncovering your mask.
As Shakespeare said: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Through mindfulness practice, you begin to see your roles, your persona or mask(s) as part of what it means to be you. You still do everything you did before: you can keep helping people or making money or whatever you like doing, but you know that this is only one way of seeing things, one dimension of your being.
You probably wear all sorts of different masks for different roles that you play. You may be a parent, daughter or son, partner, employee. Each of these roles asks you to fulfill certain obligations. You may not be aware that it’s possible to put all the masks down through mindfulness practice.
Mindfulness is an opportunity to just be yourself. When practicing mindfulness meditation, you sometimes have clear experiences of a sense of being. You may feel a deep, undivided sense of peace, of stillness and calm. Your physical body, which usually feels so solid, sometimes fades into the background of your awareness or may feel like it disappears altogether, and you can have a deep sense of connection and oneness with your surroundings.
Some people become very attached to these positive experiences in meditation and try hard to repeat them, as if they’re “getting closer” to something. However, over time you come to realize that even these seemingly blissful experiences also come and go. Enjoy them when they come, and then let them go.
Through the practice of mindfulness, you may come to discover that you’re a witness to life’s experiences. Thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations come and go in your mindfulness practice, and yet a part of you is just observing this all happening — awareness itself. This is something very simple that everyone can see and experience. In fact, being naturally yourself is so simple, you easily overlook it.
In research into the latest form of mindfulness therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), becoming aware of this sense of self that is beyond your thoughts, emotions, sensations, and urges is a key part of mindfulness. Through identifying with this “Observer Self” you become more psychologically flexible and resilient against the challenges of life.
According to Eastern philosophy, as this witness, you’re perfect, whole, and complete just as you are. You may not feel as if you’re perfect, because you identify with your thoughts, emotions, and body, which are changing over time. Ultimately you don’t need to do anything to attain this natural state, because you are this natural state all the time — right here and right now.
For these reasons, mindfulness is not about self-improvement. At the core of your being, you’re perfect just the way you are! Mindfulness exercises and meditations are just to help gently train your brain to be more focused and calm, and your heart to be warm and open. Mindfulness is not about changing you: It’s about realizing that you’re perfectly beautiful within, just the way you are.
Consider what Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth: Create a Better Life, says: “What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”
Once you spend more time being the witness of your internal experiences, you’re less disturbed by the ups and downs of life. This understanding offers you a way to a happier life. It’s that little bit easier to go with the flow and see life as an adventure rather than just a series of struggles.
A TASTE OF MINDFULNESS: MINDFULNESS OF SENSES
You may like to experience a little mindfulness. You could read endlessly about what a coconut tastes like, but you won’t really know till you taste it yourself. The same goes for mindfulness.
The beauty of this simple mindfulness exercise is that it covers everything you need to know about mindfulness. The exercise is adapted from a technique taught at a “school of practical philosophy.”
Find a comfortable posture for you. You can sit in a chair, sit on a couch, or lie down on a mat — whatever you prefer. Begin by noticing the colors entering your eyes. Notice the tones, shades, and hues. Enjoy the miracle of sight that some people don’t have. Then, gently close your eyes and be aware of the sense of touch. The sensations of your body. The feeling of your body naturally and automatically breathing. Feel areas of tension and relaxation. Next, be aware of scent. Then move on to any taste in your mouth. Next, become aware of sounds. Sounds near and far. Listen to the sound itself, not so much your thoughts about the sounds. Let go of all effort when listening — allow the sounds to come to you. Finally drop into your observer self — the awareness that lights up all your senses. Rest in that background awareness, whatever that means for you. The feeling of “being.” The feeling of “I am” that everyone has. Just let go of all effort to do something, and just be … and when you’re ready, bring this mindful exercise to a close and stretch your body if you wish.
Consider these questions: What effect did that exercise have on your body and mind? What did you discover?
If you want to become more mindful, you could simply practice this exercise a few times a day. The exercise is simple but powerful and transformative when practiced regularly.
Chapter 2
Enjoying the Benefits of Mindfulness
IN THIS CHAPTER
Understanding what mindfulness is for
Discovering the effects of mindfulness on your thoughts
Managing your emotions and spirit with mindfulness
Exploring the heart of mindfulness
The enjoyment that comes from mindfulness is a bit like the enjoyment that comes from dancing. Yes, it’s only the second chapter and you are already hitting the dance floor! Do you dance just because of the cardiovascular benefits or for boosting your brain by following a tricky dance routine? When you dance but are overfixated on a goal or motive, it kind of spoils it a bit, right? Dancing for the sake of dancing is far more fun. But of course, dancing for the sheer pleasure of it doesn’t reduce the benefits on your mind and body of dancing — they’re just the icing on the cake. Yummy!
In the same way, be mindful for the sake of being mindful. Mindfulness is about connecting with your senses, being curious, and exploring the inner workings of the human mind. If you’re too concerned about reaping the benefits of mindfulness, you spoil the fun of it. The journey of mindfulness isn’t to reach a certain destination: the journey is the destination. Keep this in mind as you read about the various benefits of mindfulness described in this chapter, and let the dance of mindfulness unfold within you. The benefits of mindfulness — relaxation, better mental and emotional health, and an improved relationship with yourself and others — are just the added bonuses along the way. Read on to discover how mindfulness can help you.
Relaxing the Body
The body and mind are almost one entity. If your mind is tense with anxious thoughts, your body automatically tenses as well. They go together, hand in hand.
Why does your body become tense when you experience high levels of stress? The reason is mechanical and wired in the human body. When you experience stress, a chain reaction starts in your body, and your whole being prepares to fight or flee the situation. This is very helpful in dangerous situations when you need to fight or run away, but not so useful when chatting to your boss. So a lot of energy surges through your body; because your body doesn’t know what to do with this energy, you tense up.
The aim of mindfulness isn’t to make you more relaxed. Mindfulness goes far deeper than that. Mindfulness — a mindful awareness — is about becoming aware and exploring your moment-by-moment experience, in a joyful way if at all possible.
So if you’re tense, mindfulness means becoming aware of that tension. Which part of your body feels tense? Does the tension have an associated shape, color, and texture? What’s your reaction to the tension; what are your thoughts? Mindfulness is about bringing curiosity to your experience. Then you can begin breathing into the tense part of your body, bringing kindness and accepting your present moment experience — again, not trying to change or get rid of the tension. And that’s it. Rest assured, doing this often leads to relaxation — just don’t make that your aim.
Getting back in touch
As a baby, you were probably very much in touch with your body. You noticed subtle sensations, and may have enjoyed feeling different textures in the world around you. As you grew up, you learned to use your head more and your body less. You probably aren’t as in touch with your body as you were as a young child. You may not notice subtle messages that the body gives you through the mind. I’m sure that some people see the body as simply a vehicle for carrying the brain from one meeting to another!
In fact, the messages between your mind and body are a two-way process. Your mind gives signals to your body, and your body gives signals to your mind. You think, “I fancy reading that mindfulness book,” and your body picks it up. You feel hungry, and your body signals to your mind that it’s time to eat. What about the feeling of stress? If you notice the tension in your shoulders, the twitch in your eye, or the rapid beating of your heart, again your body is sending signals to your mind.
What if your mind is so busy with its own thoughts that it doesn’t even notice the signals from your body? When this happens, you’re no longer in touch with or looking after your body. Hunger and thirst, tiredness and stress — you’re no longer hearing clearly your instinctual messages. This leads to a further disconnection between bodily signals and your mind, so things can get worse. Stress can spiral out of control through this lack of awareness.
Mindfulness emphasizes awareness of your body. An important mindfulness meditation is the body scan. In this meditation, you spend 10–30 minutes simply being guided to pay attention to different parts of your body, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Some people’s reaction is, “Wow, I’ve never paid so much attention to my body; that was interesting!” or “I now feel I’m moving back into my body.” One person even said: “That was like have a massage from the inside out!”
The body scan meditation can offer a healing experience. Emotions you experienced in the past but weren’t ready to feel, perhaps because you were too young, can be suppressed and trapped in the body. Sometimes, people suffer for years from a particular physical ailment, but doctors are unable to explain the cause of it. Then, through counseling or meditation, the suppressed emotion arises into consciousness, which releases the emotion. The tightness in the body or the unexplained “disease” sometimes disappears with the release of the emotion. This is another example of how interconnected mind and body really are, and of the benefits of getting back in touch with the body.
Boosting your immune system
If something’s wrong with your body, normally your immune system fights it. Unfortunately, one aspect of the stress response is your immune system not working as hard. When threatened, your body puts all its resources into surviving that threat; energy required for digestion or immunity is turned off temporarily.
Stress isn’t necessarily bad for you. If your stress levels are too low, you’re unable to perform effectively and get bored easily. However, if you’re stressed for sustained periods of time at high levels, your body’s natural immune system is going to stop working properly.
The latest research has found that if you have a positive attitude toward stress, seeing stress as energizing and uplifting, the stress seems to have no negative effect on your body. So even your attitude toward stress has a huge effect on your wellbeing.
Mindfulness enables you to notice subtle changes in your body. At the first sign of excessive stress, you can bring a mindful awareness to the situation and discover how to dissipate the stress rather than exacerbate it. By being mindful, you can also remember to see the positive, energizing benefits of stress rather than just its negatives. In this way, mindfulness can really benefit your immune system.
Reducing pain
Amazingly, mindfulness has been proven to actually reduce the level of pain experienced by people practicing it over a period of eight weeks. Some people couldn’t find anything to help them manage and cope with their pain until they began using mindfulness meditation.
When you experience pain, you quite naturally want to block out that pain. You tighten your muscles around the region and make an effort to distract yourself. Another approach is that you want the pain to stop, so you react toward the pain in an angry way. This creates greater tension, not only in the painful region but in other areas of the body. Sometimes you may feel like fighting the pain. This creates a duality between you and your pain, and you burn energy to battle with it. Or perhaps you react with resignation: the pain has got the better of you and you feel helpless.
Mindfulness takes a radically different approach. In mindfulness, you’re encouraged to pay attention to the sensation of pain, as far as you can. So, if your knee is hurting, rather than distracting yourself or reacting in any other way, you actually focus on the area of physical pain with a mindful awareness. This means you bring attitudes such as kindness, curiosity, and acknowledgment toward the area of pain, as best you can. This isn’t easy at first, but you can get better with practice. You can then consider the difference between the sensation of the physical pain itself and all the other stuff you bring to the pain. You begin to understand the difference between physical pain and psychological pain. The physical pain is the actual raw sensation of pain in the body, whereas the psychological pain is the stress, anxiety, and frustration generated. Through mindfulness, you begin to let go of the psychological pain so that only the physical pain is left. When the psychological pain begins to dissolve, the muscle tension around the physical pain begins to loosen, further reducing the perception of pain. You begin to be able to accept the pain as it is in this present moment.
Calming the Mind
Your mind is like the ocean: occasionally wild, and at other times calm. Sometimes your mind goes from thought to thought without stopping to rest. At other times, your thoughts come more slowly and have more space between them.
Mindfulness isn’t so much about changing the rate of your thoughts, but about noticing the thoughts arising in the first place. By taking a step back from thoughts, you can hover above the waves. The waves are still there, but you have more possibility of watching the show rather than being controlled by the thoughts themselves.
