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- Herausgeber: The O'Brien Press
- Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020
Dublin 1913 My name is Betty Rafferty. A few weeks ago I had to leave school and go out to work in a cake shop, serving fancy cakes to rude, rich people. No choice. But since then so much has happened. It all started when old Miss Warby took our pay away. And we walked out! The whole city – well, all us union members – are going out on strike. Even my dog Earnshaw has joined in! Life on the picket line in the lashing rain isn't much fun. Lots of people, like Peter Lawlor, just don't understand how unfair everything is. But we workers have to stand together – no matter what!
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Praise for Other Books by Anna Carey
The Making of Mollie
‘I loved Mollie – she is rebellious … thoughtful and funny.’ thetbrpile.com
‘A girl’s eye view of early feminism … exciting, vivid … with the impulsive and daring Mollie.’ Lovereading4kids.co.uk
‘For junior feminists … a must-read.’ The Irish Times
‘Mollie’s struggles are strikingly relevant to the teenagers of today.’ Sunday Business Post
Mollie on the March
‘I cannot tell you how much I adore these books. They’re funny and clever and Mollie is a BRILLIANT character … I found myself moved by the plight some of these women endured in their struggle to win rights that we take for granted today.’ Louise O’Neill
‘It’s wonderful but also brought home how hard the struggle was, how scary, and that’s giving me courage to keep on pushing for our rights today.’ Marian Keyes
‘Just as charming as the first … a deeply relatable story and a welcome reminder that Irish history has more to it than nationalist rebellions.’ The Irish Times 2
The Real Rebecca
‘Definite Princess of Teen.’ Books for Keeps
‘The sparkling and spookily accurate diary of a Dublin teenager. I haven’t laughed so much since reading Louise Rennison. Teenage girls will love Rebecca to bits!’ Sarah Webb, author of the Ask Amy Green books
‘This book is fantastic! Rebecca is sweet, funny and down-to-earth, and I adored her friends, her quirky parents, her changeable but ultimately loving older sister and the swoonworthy Paperboy.’ Chicklish Blog
‘What is it like inside the mind of a teenage girl? It’s a strange, confused and frustrated place. A laugh-out-loud story of a fourteen-year-old girl, Rebecca Rafferty.’ Hot Press
Rebecca’s Rules
‘A gorgeous book! … So funny, sweet, bright. I loved it.’ Marian Keyes
‘Amusing from the first page … better than Adrian Mole! Highly recommended.’ lovereading4kids.co.uk
‘Sure to be a favourite with fans of authors such as Sarah Webb and Judi Curtin.’ Children’s Books Ireland’s Recommended Reads 20123
Rebecca Rocks
‘The pages in Carey’s novel in which her young lesbian character announces her coming out to her friends and in which they give their reactions are superbly written: tone is everything, and it could not be better handled than it is here.’ The Irish Times
‘A hilarious new book. Cleverly written, witty and smart.’ writing.ie
‘Rebecca Rafferty … is something of a Books for Keeps favourite … Honest, real, touching, a terrific piece of writing.’ Books for Keeps
Rebecca is Always Right
Fun … feisty, off-the-wall individuals and a brisk plot.’ Sunday Independent
‘Be warned: don’t read this in public because from the first sentence this story is laugh out loud funny … This book is the funniest yet.’ Inis Magazine
‘Portrays a world of adolescent ups and downs … Rebecca is at once participant in and observer of, what goes on in her circle, recording it all in a tone of voice in which humour, wryness and irony are shrewdly balanced.’ The Irish Times
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To Susan Houlden, who had to wait a long time to read this book, and in memory of my great-grandfather Robert Carey, dock worker and 1913 striker
Acknowledgements
Thanks most of all to Susan Houlden, my editor at The O’Brien Press, who was very patient with me when this book ended up taking much, much longer to write than any of us expected. Many thanks to Helen Carr, whose idea it was to write about the 1913 Lockout, to Louise Lamont for all her help and to Aishwarya Subramanian for kindly taking the time to read the manuscript. Thanks to Jane Casey, Harriet Evans, Sarah Hughes, Sarra Manning and Aoife Murphy, aka the Lord Peter Casting Club, for the serious literary discussions that provided cheer and intellectual stimulation in stressful times. I send a beaming Hiddlesun to you all. And special thanks to Lauren O’Neill for what might be my favourite cover ever, and everyone at The O’Brien Press.
Thanks to the extended Carey and Freyne families, especially my nephew Arlo, who is a very discerning reader, and my cousin Elaine, whose house I borrowed for Betty. Thanks and all my love to my husband Patrick Freyne, who offered very helpful and necessary advice and support.
Several historians and librarians were kind enough to respond to my requests for research help. Mary Jones and Theresa Moriarty were generous with their time. Thanks too to Katherine McSharry and Eoin McCarney of the National Library, who sourced a crucial and incredibly helpful pamphlet by Manus O’Riordan on the cultural life of Liberty Hall in its early years.
But most of all, this book could not have been written without Pádraig Yeates, who not only wrote the definitive book on the lockout, Lockout: Dublin 1913, but was incredibly patient when I kept emailing him with more and more questions over the course of many months. I named a union-supporting bakery after him in the book, which was the very least I could do. I did my best to make the book historically accurate, but it’s a work of fiction not a history book, and I am not a historian. Any historical errors are, I can assure readers, entirely my own.
Contents
Chapter One
I thought I’d begin these memoirs by writing down my name and where I live and how many brothers and sisters I have (one too many if you ask me), but right now I’m so annoyed I’m just going to write down what happened a few minutes ago. I was sitting down at the table with this new notebook and a bit of old pencil that Ma had left behind the kitchen clock, getting ready to write down all these fascinating facts, when who should come into the kitchen but my stupid big brother Eddie.
‘Is that the notebook Da got for you?’ he said, because our da had come home from the docks yesterday with a big notebook full of empty blank pages that had been found on the quay after they’d unloaded a load of crates that morning. It really had fallen out somewhere and the cover was all damp so the foreman said he could take it, just in case you were thinking that was another way of saying he’d pinched it. Da’s the most honest person in the world. Besides, you’d lose your job down the docks if you tried any of that thieving business so you’d have to be pretty stupid to try nicking anything, and Da isn’t stupid. Da gave the notebook to me after tea last night. He knew that I was going to miss having something to scribble on now I’ve left school.
I hoped Eddie would leave me alone if I answered his question.
‘It is, yeah,’ I said. And then I looked back at the page because I was trying to think of the most dramatic way to introduce myself. Eddie, being Eddie, didn’t take the hint.
‘What are you writing in it?’ he said in a smirking sort of voice, as 10if the idea of anyone writing anything down was utterly ridiculous.
‘My memoirs,’ I said, without looking up from the blank page.
Eddie stared at me as if I was talking Russian.
‘What’s a memoir when it’s at home?’ he said. You can tell he’s never set foot in Charleville Mall Library even though it’s only down the road. He does not have a good vocabulary, mostly because he barely listens to a word anyone else says. I, on the other hand, have an excellent vocabulary, as you will discover in these memoirs.
‘It’s when you write about yourself,’ I said. ‘Like the story of your life.’
And of course Eddie, the big stupid lump, laughed as if this was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. When he could finally speak he said, ‘I’m fairly sure no one is going to want to read the story of your life.’ He put on a stupid high-pitched voice. ‘I went to the library. Then I came home. Then I took my stupid-looking dog for a walk. Then I went to bed.’ He went back to his usual voice. ‘Very exciting, I don’t think.’ And he laughed again at his own ‘wit’.
‘Well, maybe I’ll be rich and famous by the time it comes out,’ I said, ignoring his mockery. ‘Then lots of people will want to read about my early years.’
Eddie ruffled my hair in that annoying way he has and said, ‘If you say so, kiddie’ in a very condescending way (that’s another word I learned from the books in the library).
Then he wandered off to the front room, which is where he sleeps on the sofa, to draw the curtains and change out of his work uniform. He works for the tram company, in their parcel delivery department. I can hear him singing from my spot here in the kitchen. There’s never any peace around here, even though Da’s 11still out at work and Ma is down the road having tea with Mrs Connolly so technically I have the kitchen all to myself.
But anyway, now that he’s out of the kitchen and I’ve calmed down a bit, I can introduce myself to my future readers. My name is Betty Margaret Rafferty. Actually, my name is Elizabeth Margaret Rafferty, after my grandma who died before I was born, but everyone always calls me Betty. I was born in May 1899, which means I turned 14 a few weeks ago. I also left school yesterday, but more on that later.
I live at 48 Strandville Avenue in the North Strand in Dublin, with my ma and my da and my stupid brother Eddie. The house has one window at the front, and from the outside you’d think it was only one level, but when you come in the front door you realise that only the front room and the hall are on the ground floor. There’s one set of stairs going up to the two bedrooms and another set of stairs going down to the kitchen and the scullery. Ma and Da have the bigger room upstairs, I’m in the little one and Eddie sleeps on the sofa in the front room on the ground floor. And we’ve got the toilet out in the back garden, of course.
Until two years ago I shared the small room upstairs with my sister Lily, but then she married Robert Hessian. We always call him by his full name, Robert Hessian, even Ma. I don’t know why. There’s not much to say about him apart from the fact that he works down the docks, same as my da. He’s the most boring person I’ve ever met. You forget whatever he’s said the minute after he says it. If you asked me to describe what he looked like, I don’t think I could do it, even though I’ve known him all my life because he’s the same age as Lily and he grew up just around the corner from us, on Leinster Avenue. He’s got brownish hair – or 12is it more mousey coloured? And an ordinary sort of nose … see, I can’t do it.
Even though Robert Hessian is extremely boring, the day Lily got married was the happiest day of my life. Not because I was particularly delighted for her (in fact, I was more sorry for her than anything else, having to live with the most boring man in the world), but because that night I finally got to sleep in a bed by myself for the very first time. Me and Lily had shared the narrow little bed (which is all that fits in that tiny room, that and a bockety old wardrobe Da got in the pawn shop) ever since I was tiny.
When we shared the bed, we slept top-and-tail, which means Lily’s pillow was at one end and mine was at the other, but it was still an awful squash, especially as Lily made me sleep on the side closest to the wall, which meant that whenever I bent my legs I bashed my knees against the wall. And of course I had her horrible smelly clodhopping feet next to my face all night, which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
If Ma ever read this, she would say I was being ridiculous and that Lil’s feet are very dainty and don’t smell at all, and that she’s always had a bath once a week and is perfectly clean, but Ma didn’t have to share a bed with Lily for twelve years. I did and I know. Lily didn’t go very far when she moved out, but as long as she moved out of that bed I didn’t care. She and Robert Hessian moved in with his ma and da in Leinster Avenue. Mr and Mrs Hessian turned the front room into a proper bedroom for them, and they have a big brass bed and everything.
Of course, Eddie didn’t approve of me getting a whole bedroom to myself after Lily left. He thought he should have it ‘as the son of the house’ and I should get the sofa in the front room, but 13Ma said she couldn’t have her daughter sleeping in the front room where any Tom, Dick or Harry can see in the window, even with the lace curtains.
‘What if someone walked past and saw her in her shift?’ she said.
‘What if someone came by and saw me in my vest?’ said Eddie, very annoyed, but Ma said no one would want to look at him in his vest, and if they did see him, they wouldn’t care, and I think she’s right and said so. Eddie was very insulted and walked out of the room in a huff.
Anyway, I have the bed all to myself now, but Eddie’s clothes and things are in the wardrobe and I only get a tiny corner to put my belongings in. Not that either of us have a lot of clothes. We can’t afford them. But the clothes we do have are all made by Ma, which means my frocks are beautifully put together even though there aren’t very many of them.
Ma is very good at making clothes, and she does a bit of dressmaking for ladies in Drumcondra and Clontarf. When she’s busy with her sewing we can’t go into the front room because she’ll have bits of material and patterns and things spread out all over the floor. When it comes to our own clothes we all help out with the cutting and all that, but she’d never trust us to cut out one of her rich ladies’ frocks. When she’s not doing sewing she looks after the house and all of us.
So that’s Ma. Then there’s Da. He works on the docks, like lots of the men around here, which means he’s been on strike a lot recently. If you don’t know what a strike is (and maybe they’ll have stopped having them by the time anyone reads these memoirs), it’s when workers walk out of their jobs because they feel they’re not being treated fairly. They refuse to go back until the employers 14agree to change things. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t, but as Da says, you’ve got to try, haven’t you? Da doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he usually says something sensible and he knows how to make me feel better. Sometimes, though, even he can’t do anything to help. Like yesterday, which was one of the worst days of my whole life.
It was the last day of the school term, but for me it was the very last day of school ever. Same for all my classmates. I don’t know anyone whose family can afford to pay the fees for secondary school. Ali – he’s my friend Samira’s big brother – once told me that in America children don’t have to pay to go to secondary school, but even if that’s true there’s no chance of that happening here in Dublin. Only rich boys and girls get to go to secondary school. The rest of us have to go out and work. I learned that a long time ago.
Most of my class in school were delighted to be leaving forever, but I wasn’t and neither was Samira. We spent the whole walk home trying not to cry and not quite succeeding. We were so miserable we didn’t even want to talk to each other about how bad we felt, and when I got home I certainly didn’t want to talk to any of my family, but I couldn’t avoid seeing Ma because she let me into the house.
‘There you are!’ she said cheerfully as she opened the door. ‘Oh come now, Betty, what are you looking like that for? Most girls would be glad to be rid of school.’
Well, that did it.
‘You know I’m not!’ I said, so loudly that our dog Earnshaw stuck his head out of the kitchen to see what was going on.
Ma folded her arms across her chest, the way she does when 15she’s about to give out to you.
‘Don’t take that tone, miss!’ said Ma. ‘I never thought a daughter of mine could be so ungrateful.’
‘I’m not ungrateful!’ I said.
‘You’re going to a decent job in that cake shop,’ Ma went on as if I hadn’t spoken. ‘And when your work is done you’ll be sleeping in your own bed at night, which is more than I was able to do when I was your age.’
‘You don’t understand …’ I began, but Ma interrupted me.
‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I certainly don’t. And if you can’t be more cheerful …’
Well, I couldn’t. And I suppose she knew it, because she didn’t try to stop me when I ran through the scullery, out the back door and right to the end of the garden. I sat on the grass with my back against the door of the lavatory, where you couldn’t see me from the house. And then I cried and cried.
After a while I could hear Ma calling me, but I didn’t answer. I just sat there with my arms wrapped around my shins and my head buried in my knees. Earnshaw finally found me, of course, but Earnshaw would never give me away. He just lay at my feet and went to sleep. Every so often a train rumbled past on the line that runs just a few yards from our house.
It must have been hours later when I heard someone walking around the back of the toilet. Then someone sat down beside me. I knew without looking up that it was my da. He put his arm around me, but I didn’t lean into him. I just huddled up stiffly with my face buried in my knees and Earnshaw curled up on my shoes.
‘I know it’s hard for you, Betty,’ said Da. His voice is gruff, but there’s something warm about it too. It’s how you’d imagine a nice 16warm coal fire would sound like if it could talk.
I hadn’t planned on saying anything at all, but when he said that I found the words exploding out of me. ‘It’s not fair,’ I said. Well, I say said, but it was more like a yell. ‘It’s just not fair! I’m good at school. You know I am! It’s stupid that I have to leave.’
‘Life isn’t fair, pet,’ said Da, which is the sort of irritating thing parents say whenever you complain about everything, but he sounded as if he really meant it this time.
‘I could have got a scholarship,’ I said fiercely. ‘Somehow. And then I could go to Eccles Street or Loreto on George’s Street, or one of them places. You know I could have.’
I don’t even know if those fancy schools give scholarships, but no one had even tried to check for me and I had no way of checking myself.
‘And you know that we need a wage coming in,’ said Da gently. ‘We can’t afford to have anyone not working who could be working. Things are rough in this city these days. For all I know, they might sack all of us dockers tomorrow.’
I know this is true. And I know I have to do my bit for the family. All the girls and boys around here do. But it doesn’t stop me wishing I didn’t have to, and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t mind.
‘If I stayed in school, I might earn more money in the end,’ I said. ‘I might even be a teacher, or something. They must earn more than I’ll earn in that cake shop place.’
Da sighed. ‘Look it, if you work for a while and save up a bit of your wages, you’ll have enough money for one of them typewriting classes. You could get yourself a fancy auld job in an office.’
I didn’t say anything.
‘And it’s not as though you’ll be going into service,’ said Da, 17forcing some cheerfulness into his voice. ‘We won’t be sending you out to scrub floors. You’ll work in that shop for a while and then once you’ve learned to use those typing machines you’ll go and work in a nice warm office wearing a silk frock and typing out some rich fella’s letters. That doesn’t sound too shabby, does it?’
He was being so kind I couldn’t stay angry with him. When he put his arm around me I gave him a big hug back, and then I went back into the kitchen where Ma had a slice of cake ready for me as a leaving-school-treat. She gave me a hug too, and she was very nice to me for the rest of the evening. But I knew they didn’t understand, not really. I wanted to stay at school so I could learn things, even the boring things like geography, because then maybe I could go to college and read lots of books about things I am interested in. And maybe after that I could become a teacher or, I don’t know, anything at all. Even a writer. Something other than being a servant or working in a shop or a factory like most girls around here.
Because here’s one thing I haven’t ever told anyone else, not even Samira: what I want most of all is to write stories, and in fact the main reason I’ve started writing this memoir is to practise writing something. And if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t see why I couldn’t write a book when I grow up. I mean, lots of people write books, so why shouldn’t I? Charles Dickens was sent out to work in a factory when he was even younger than I am, and he went on to become one of the most famous writers ever. And when I become a famous writer I’m sure people would find it very interesting to read about my early years.
But I’d never say any of this to Ma and Da. Every time I tried talking with them about staying at school we had a big row because 18they thought I was just being silly. And maybe I am. It’s not like having to leave school was a surprise – I always knew it was going to happen. So I’ve made the decision not to say anything about it again. Anyway, those are my ma and da. They don’t really understand me but they’re all right I suppose.
The last but most important member of the family is the aforementioned (another fancy word!) Earnshaw. Earnshaw is not a person, of course, he is a dog. Da found him on the docks when he was a puppy and took him home because they couldn’t find his mammy, and Lily and I wrapped him in a blanket and fed him out of a bottle until he was old enough to eat scraps.
‘If I’d known what he’d grow into,’ says Ma sometimes, ‘I’d have drowned him in a bucket back then when I had a chance.’ It’s true that he’s a peculiar-looking sort of dog, but I think that makes him more interesting. Sometimes people stare at him in the street, but I’d rather have a dog that people stared at than some boring old terrier who looks like all the other dogs and who no one even notices. Anyway, whatever Ma says about Earnshaw, we all know she loves him really. She even sings songs to him when she thinks no one can hear her. Everyone loves Earnshaw, even Eddie who pretends he doesn’t care about anything.
And that’s our family. In comparison to some people round here there aren’t very many of us, only three kids (and we don’t all live in our house anymore). There are some families with even fewer (that’s good grammar, the nuns would be proud of me). The Phelans only have two kids (though they have two policemen lodgers, Mr Carroll and Mr Ward, who sleep in the front room).
There should have been more children in our family, but Ma had two babies who died. I never saw them. One was called 19Thomas and he was born two years after Lily. Another was called Mary and she was born a year after Eddie. They only lived for a few weeks each. Most families on our road have had at least one baby who died.
There are still lots of big families though. The O’Hanlons have ten kids, in a house the same size as ours. Lily and Robert Hessian only have one so far, and it’s to be hoped they don’t have any more, if my nephew Little Robbie is anything to go by.
I forgot to mention Little Robbie when I was listing all my relations. That’s because I try to pretend he doesn’t exist. You wouldn’t think a baby could be so terrible but he is. He was born a year ago and when he was tiny he just cried all the time, which lots of babies do, I suppose, so I can’t blame him for that (see how reasonable I am?). But once he got a bit older and started showing some personality, his true nature was revealed.
He’s all smiles to his mammy and daddy and to my ma and da, and he doesn’t seem to care much about Eddie one way or another, but as soon as he gets anywhere near me he turns bright red and starts roaring. Practically the minute he got teeth, he bit me. I told Ma I should go to the doctor because I was worried I’d get poisoned, like when people get bitten by mad dogs, and she told me to go on out of that. No one in our family ever goes to the doctor, I think they’d only get you a doctor around here if they thought you were in danger of dying and probably not even then. They’re just too expensive. Then she said that I wouldn’t get poisoned by a beautiful baby like Little Robbie.
‘He’s not a beautiful baby, Ma,’ I said. ‘He looks like a tomato in a wig.’ Because as well as going bright red whenever he’s angry, which is most of the time, he also has a shock of black hair. He was 20born with it, and if you ask me he just gets hairier and hairier as the days go by. It doesn’t seem normal for a baby to have so much hair, or such a red angry face. Ma doesn’t agree, of course.
‘He looks nothing like a tomato!’ she said. ‘Actually I think he looks just like you when you were his age. You were a very hairy baby too.’
Me, looking like Little Robbie! I think this might have been the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me. Anyway, Ma says I have to stop being horrible about him.
‘You can’t say that about your own nephew!’ she says, whenever I give out about him biting me or getting sick on me or head-butting me in the face. ‘He’s a little dote and an angel-love!’ But he really isn’t either of those things. He’s a monster in disguise. And not a very good disguise either.
Right, Ma just got home from the Connollys and started giving out to me for not starting on the potatoes, so even though I haven’t written a word about Samira yet, or the new job I’m starting in a few days, I’m going to stop writing now and hide this notebook under my mattress. I wouldn’t trust Eddie to leave it alone if I left it in the kitchen.
Chapter Two
This time tomorrow I will officially be a working woman. Well, a working girl anyway. I’ve had a few sweet days of freedom, which I spent sitting in the back garden with Samira reading library books and talking about all the things we’d like to do with our lives if I didn’t have to go and work in a cake shop and tearoom and she didn’t have to go to work in the shop at the top of the road. But now, as Eddie has been delighting in telling me, I have to ‘enter the working world’. Whether I like it or not.
The cake shop and tearoom where I’m going to be working is called Lawlor’s, and it’s on Henry Street. I actually got the job because one of Ma’s dressmaking clients is the wife of the owner, Mrs Lawlor herself. Ma is very good at making clothes. Before she married Da she worked in a drapery in town called Whyte’s which is quite grand. Her ma and da, my Nanny and Granda, live in a little cottage near Skerries and when Ma was fifteen she moved down to Dublin to work in the shop. All the shop assistants lived in a sort of lodging house that was part of the shop, so she was on the premises all the time. This doesn’t sound much fun to me but she says it wasn’t too bad.
When Ma worked at Whyte’s, she sewed all her own clothes with the ends of the rolls of fabric they sold in the shop, which she could buy at a discount, and these clothes were so exquisitely made (that’s another good word, exquisitely) that customers who came in there buying cotton or wool materials began asking her about them. She started doing a bit of dressmaking herself in her 22spare time and earned enough to buy a decent secondhand sewing machine.
Some of those customers were very grand people and Ma had to go to see them at home to show them the clothes and make alterations, so she’s visited big houses all over the city and she knows quite a lot about how fine ladies and gentlemen live. This is why Mrs Hennessy down the road thinks Ma has notions. I suppose Ma sort of does have notions, at least in comparison to Mrs Hennessy.
And she still has the sewing machine. She always says that if you look after a sewing machine it should last you all your life. That’s how she makes clothes for her grand ladies in Drumcondra and Clontarf – like Mrs Lawlor. Mrs Lawlor lives on the Howth Road in Clontarf, in a massive house with coloured glass in the door, and I’m sure she has never gone behind the counter of the shop her husband founded twenty years ago.
I’ve met her, though. In fact, I first met her a few months ago and I suppose that day changed my life, because without it I might not be going to work in Lawlor’s tearoom tomorrow. It was back in March when I went over to her house one day with Ma to fit some frocks for her daughter, Lavinia Lawlor. They were part of Lavinia’s birthday present and Ma needed her to try them on in case any final alterations were needed. At least she knew they weren’t too long – she’d realised when she took the first measurements that me and Lavinia Lawlor are exactly the same height, even though she is about three years older than me, so she’d got me to try them on when she was doing the hems.
Afterwards I almost wished I hadn’t gone to the Lawlors’ house – not that I had a choice in the matter. My assistance was required 23because Mrs Lawlor had ordered so many frocks that Ma couldn’t have carried them and her sewing bag all the way to the Howth Road on her own. Or at least not without getting them all crumpled up. But I felt peculiar about going. That wasn’t just because the frocks started to feel pretty heavy after about half a mile, but because Lavinia Lawlor goes to school with the Dominican nuns in Eccles Street.
One of my teachers in William Street went to school there before she trained to become a teacher, and she told me that the girls in Eccles Street learn French and German and music, and play tennis and put on plays and get taken to the theatre. And then when they’re finished school, some of them go on to college. Ever since she first told me about this, I’ve dreamed of going to that school. It’s only a mile or so away – I could walk there easily. I used to dream of going there and learning how to speak French and German and read Shakespeare. That was before I had to accept that there was no chance of it ever happening in real life.
But I’m pretty sure – in fact, I know – that all of those advantages have been completely wasted on Lavinia Lawlor. When we arrived at the house in Clontarf on that day back in March, we knocked on the kitchen door underneath the front steps (of course we didn’t go up the steps to the front door). A tall thin woman with a red friendly face answered the door.
‘Ah, Mrs Rafferty,’ she said, with a cheery smile. She had a country accent though I couldn’t tell you where exactly she was from. ‘Good to see you again! It’s been a while, so it has.’
‘I told you, Jessie, call me Margaret,’ said Ma with a smile. ‘Mrs Lawlor asked us to make a few things for Miss Lavinia’s birthday, so I’m here to do the final fitting.’ 24
I didn’t like hearing Ma call Lavinia Lawlor ‘Miss Lavinia’. She doesn’t call Samira Miss Casey, and Lavinia Lawlor is no better than any of my friends. But of course I didn’t say anything about this to Ma.
‘I’d better show you up there myself,’ said Jessie. ‘The other girls are sorting out something for Mrs Lawlor in the attic.’ It took me a while to realise that the ‘other girls’ were other servants, not daughters of the house. We followed Jessie through the lovely warm kitchen (which was about the same size as our entire house, and had big hams hanging from the ceiling. Whole hams, just for one family! I’ve only ever seen a ham in the window of the butcher’s shop) and up the stairs to the hall.
I had never been in a house like this before, and even though I was trying to act as if I were invited to places like this all the time, I couldn’t help looking around me and staring at everything. Because there was so much to stare at. The first thing I noticed was a beautiful little hall table with a gong on it. It was suspended in a wooden frame and resting on the frame was a little mallet. I suppose Jessie (or one of the other servants) hits the gong with the mallet when it’s time for dinner, like they do in books.
At the foot of the stairs was a grandfather clock and the face of it was covered in stars and moons. I wish I had a clock covered in stars and moons. There were paintings on the wall – actual paintings, not just holy pictures or pages cut out of magazines, which is all we have at home. You could see where the brush had left marks on the canvas. The sun shone in through the coloured glass in the door and made a pattern on the tiled floor We don’t have tiles in our house, just lino and some rag rugs.
Jessie opened a door and ushered us into the drawing room, and 25that was even more beautiful than the hall. It was exactly the way I imagine Pemberly, Mr Darcy’s big house in one of my favourite books, Pride and Prejudice. The walls were papered in yellow and there was a picture rail around the top with lots of beautiful paintings in gold frames hanging off it. There was a carpet on the floor so thick and soft you practically lost your feet in it. A massive piano stood in one corner and on the piano were photographs in silver and leather frames.
On each side of the fireplace was a big sofa, with fluffy cushions, and armchairs that were about the size of the sofa in our front room. Hanging from the ceiling was a chandelier, like they have in the entrance to the picture house. I’ve never seen one in a house before. It sparkled in the sunlight coming in through the massive windows. This was when I stopped trying to look all casual and just openly stared at everything in amazement.
‘I’ll tell Mrs Lawlor you’re here,’ said the friendly Jessie. ‘Miss Lavinia isn’t home from school yet but she’ll be in any minute.’ She bustled out of the room.
Ma smiled at me. ‘Now isn’t this a treat?’ she said. ‘It’s not often you get to visit a house like this, is it?’
‘Can we sit down?’ I said, looking longingly at the big sofa. I wanted to know what it would feel like to lie back in all those cushions. But Ma looked as if I’d asked if I could rip up the cushions with a knife.
‘You certainly can not,’ she said. ‘And you won’t say a thing unless you’re spoken to.’
I thought, well, if visiting a grand house means I have to act like a dummy in a shop window and I can’t even sit down for a rest after walking in the heat, I’d rather stay in the North Strand. And 26just as I was thinking this, the door of the drawing room opened again and a woman came in who was so tall and elegant I was instantly sure that me and Ma looked like a pair of drab little mice in comparison, even though I was wearing a cotton frock covered in tiny flowers which is one of my favourites, and Ma always looks lovely and neat and trim.
Mrs Lawlor was wearing a fawn-coloured linen skirt and a cream lace blouse with a beautiful brooch at the neck. On her feet, peeking out from under the linen skirt, were the most elegant fawn kid shoes. I suddenly felt very aware of the scuffs on my nice clean black leather button boots. Ma always tells me I’m lucky to have shoes at all because most of the children in the tenements in town certainly don’t, and I know she’s right, but my boots looked so old and big and clumsy in comparison to Mrs Lawlor’s dainty slippers. I crossed one foot behind the other.
‘Mrs Rafferty,’ she said, and even though her appearance was grand her manner was warm and friendly. ‘How kind of you to come.’
You told her to, I thought, but then I felt bad because Mrs Lawlor was being nice. She spoke as if she really were happy to see Ma. Now she was smiling at me. ‘And who is this?’
‘This is Betty, Mrs Lawlor,’ said Ma. ‘My youngest girl.’
‘How do you do, Betty?’ said Mrs Lawlor, and as I’d actually been spoken to I presumed it was all right to say, ‘Very well, thank you.’
‘Betty helped me carry over the clothes for Miss Lavinia,’ said Ma. ‘And she helped me with the alterations at home.’
‘Well, I’m very glad you did,’ said Mrs Lawlor. ‘Lavinia never seems to have time for things like dress fittings. It’s always the 27tennis club or some other romp.’
She glanced at the mantelpiece, where there was a lovely little wooden clock with roses painted around it. ‘She should be home by now.’
There was a slightly awkward moment and then Mrs Lawlor said, ‘Goodness, what am I doing, making you stand after you’ve walked here with those heavy bags? Sit down, please, do.’
And so we sat down on Mrs Lawlor’s drawing-room sofa, while she sat in one of the armchairs. I wished I could roll back on the cushions but of course I couldn’t. Ma was barely sitting on the sofa at all; she just perched on the very edge.
‘And are you going to school, Betty?’ Mrs Lawlor asked politely.
‘Yes, Mrs Lawlor,’ I said. ‘Until the end of the summer term. I’ll be leaving then.’
Mrs Lawlor smiled. ‘I’m sure you’ll be glad to leave. Lavinia’s got a whole year of school left – we told her she had to stay and do her Intermediate Certificate but she’d rather be off playing tennis.’
And without thinking I said, ‘Well, I don’t want to leave. I wish I could do the Intermediate Certificate.’
As soon as I said it, I worried it sounded as if I was suggesting that Lavinia was ungrateful, which was of course exactly what I was thinking. Ma gave me one of her looks, a look that said I’d better remember where I was, and that I’d better not even think of telling Mrs Lawlor exactly what I thought about girls who didn’t appreciate getting to go to school, and who thought leaving it meant playing tennis instead of having to go out and get a job. My Ma can say a lot with a look.
I wished I hadn’t said anything, but actually Mrs Lawlor didn’t seem particularly bothered by what I’d said. In fact, she laughed 28as if I’d made a joke.
‘Do you really?’ she said. ‘Well, I wish my daughter had your academic enthusiasm.’ The doorbell rang. ‘That should be her now.’
She didn’t get up to answer the door, and I realised that of course Jessie or maybe another maid would be answering it for her, even though all the servants must have been upstairs or down in the kitchen and we were in the room right next to the front door.
A moment later I heard the door open and a girl about the same size as me with shiny golden-brown hair came into the drawing room, yawning.
‘There you are, Lavinia,’ said Mrs Lawlor. ‘Mrs Rafferty and her daughter are here with your birthday clothes.’
‘Do we have to do this now, Mother?’ Lavinia’s voice was petulant. (That’s another good word, isn’t it? It means sulky, more or less.) ‘I’m awfully tired.’
‘Of course we do.’ Mrs Lawlor’s voice became stern. ‘They’ve come all this way to do a fitting. If you want to have new frocks to wear for your party next week, you’ve got to make sure they fit.’
Lavinia sighed, as if she were being forced to undergo some terrible trial.
‘Oh all right then,’ she said. ‘I’ll get ready.’ And she walked out of the room.
Mrs Lawlor’s smile was almost apologetic.
‘We’d better do this up in her bedroom,’ she said, rising from her armchair. Ma stood up too. I wasn’t sure if I should go with them – after all, I’d just been brought along to carry the clothes, not fit them. But Ma gave me another one of her meaningful looks so I got up and followed them up to Lavinia’s bedroom, 29where she had already taken her frock off and was standing there in the nicest undergarments I’ve ever seen, in what must have been the most beautiful bedroom in the world.
Of course, I know from books that there are girls who have rooms like this, but knowing something from books is very different from actually seeing it with your own two eyes. The walls were papered in pale blue with little rosebuds, and there was a silk eiderdown on the bed in the same colours. The bed itself was a high wooden affair, painted white with a little bouquet of flowers on the headboard. I thought of my bockety brass bed, with the knob that falls off if you drop onto the bed too hard, and for the first time having that bed all to myself didn’t seem so amazingly wonderful.
All the bits of furniture – the dressing table with the hinged mirror over it, the wardrobe and even the bookshelf – were white and decorated with little painted bouquets of flowers. I looked longingly at the bookshelf, which just had a couple of books on it; the rest of the shelves were occupied by little glass ornaments. There was a picture of the Blessed Virgin above the bed and lots of lovely prints in golden frames of girls frolicking in a garden with dogs. And there was a fire lit, in the bedroom, in the middle of the afternoon. I couldn’t help it. I gawped. And Lavinia noticed. I could see her looking over at me with a sort of amused look on her face, and I quickly looked down at my boots, which looked clumpier and scruffier than ever.
‘Right then, Miss Lavinia,’ said Ma briskly, taking her tape measure and pins out of her bag, and I remembered that she was used to dealing with people like this, both as a dressmaker and also from her days in the shop. Once she was at work she no longer 30looked awkward or uncomfortable, though I’m fairly sure I did, standing behind her like a big eejit with nothing to do. I wished I could have just gone down to the kitchen to Jessie and had a cup of tea. Ma handed Lavinia a frock and the girl pulled it over her head and did up the buttons. Ma helped do the hooks at the back and then stood back. She looked critically at her creation and then looked at Mrs Lawlor.
‘What do you think of the length there, Mrs Lawlor? A smidgen too long, do you think?’
‘I think you might be right, Mrs Rafferty,’ said Mrs Lawlor. ‘Maybe you could pin it up half an inch, just to see.’
‘Right you are,’ said Ma. She turned to me. ‘The pins please, Betty.’
And that’s what we did for what felt like the next five years (though I suppose it was only about three quarters of an hour really). Lavinia tried on frocks, Ma and Mrs Lawlor stared at her, and every so often I handed Ma pins so she could adjust the fit. Sometimes I held the hem or pinched the waistline so she could pin it in place, but that was about it. There weren’t even that many adjustments to make, but every single thing had to be tried on and examined by Ma and Mrs Lawlor, and of course Lavinia had plenty of things to say too. In fact, she kept on talking and talking in her drawling, discontented voice. She spent the entire time we were there whining to her mother about the special cake she wanted for her birthday party the following week, and how dreadfully dull school was, and how awful the teachers were because they actually try to make her read books when she’d rather be out on the tennis court.
She went on and on and on, and of course I didn’t say anything 31in response because she didn’t care what me or Ma thought. As far as she was concerned we were just things, moving around her, doing what we had been built to do. The only vaguely interesting part of her monologue (that’s another word I’ve learned from reading, it’s when someone talks on their own for ages) was when she told us some of the girls at school had started wearing little Votes for Irish Women buttons on their blouses.
Not that I care too much about votes for women. After all, my da can’t vote either because he doesn’t own property, and the rent on our house isn’t high enough to put him on the voting register. But still, Lavinia talking about suffragettes was more interesting than listening to her go on about her birthday tea or how she was going to make her brother take her out to some tennis tournament in Howth during the summer holidays.
Eventually, however, the last frock had been tried on and Lavinia changed back into her day dress while Ma and I packed the new frocks back in their paper wrappings to take home.
‘I’ll have them back to you by Saturday,’ Ma said to Mrs Lawlor as we walked back onto the landing (which was bigger than my bedroom), leaving Lavinia to the privacy of her beautiful boudoir.
‘Thank you so much, Mrs Rafferty,’ said Mrs Lawlor. She smiled at me. ‘And thank you, Betty. You’ve been a very able assistant.’
‘Thank you, Mrs Lawlor,’ I said, even though I hadn’t done much besides hand Ma a few pins and hold up Lavinia’s hems. And it wasn’t as if I was being paid for it.
‘Well,’ said Ma, after Jessie had given us a cup of tea in the kitchen and we were walking home. ‘Isn’t she a very nice lady? And isn’t it a fine house?’
‘She’s very friendly,’ I said. Mrs Lawlor was indeed nice, and the 32house was very fine, but something about being there made me feel peculiar inside. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed (aware for the first time of how worn out the sheets and blankets were, and how the bed wobbled when I got into it) that I really figured out why I felt so odd. Part of it was plain old anger and jealousy that someone as snobbish and downright stupid as Lavinia (and yes I know that sounds harsh, but remember I had to crawl around at her feet listening to her blather on about tea parties all afternoon so I can safely say that she is not a brilliant genius) gets to go to Eccles Street and do her Inter Cert, while girls like me and Samira have to go out and get jobs. It’s just, I don’t know, such a waste. How could I not be angry about it?
But that wasn’t the only thing that was bothering me. It was hard to put into words, but I tried my best to do so the next day when me and Samira were walking to school. Samira is my best friend in the whole world and she has been for as long as I can remember. We’re exactly the same age – she’s just two weeks older than me – but she’s a whole inch taller. I know this because we measured ourselves with Ma’s tape measure at the end of the school term. And when I told her about my encounter with the Lawlors, she knew just what I meant.
‘I always knew there were rich people,’ I said, as we trudged down the strand.
‘It’d be strange if you didn’t,’ said Samira. She nodded towards a motorcar driving past us into town with a well-dressed, bearded gentleman at the wheel. ‘They’re only up the road in Clontarf.’
‘Exactly, you can’t miss them,’ I said. ‘But until I was in the Lawlors’ house, none of it seemed real. You know, you can imagine what those rich people’s houses are like but they might as well be 33in fairyland. Or the Enchanted Castle in that E. Nesbit book.’
‘I know what you mean,’ said Samira. ‘It’s like the people that live in houses like that are Psammeads, or something. They really only live in books but you’ll never actually meet one.’
The Psammead, in case you don’t know, dear reader of my memoirs, is a magic creature in another book by E. Nesbit who can grant wishes. Samira and I never have to explain these things to each other. That’s one of the best things about being friends with Samira. If you met her you might think she was a bit vague – our teachers in school were always telling her to stop daydreaming – but she’s not vague at all when we’re talking about things she really cares about. The pair of us have read our way through half the shelves in Charleville Mall Library (and Samira has read all the Shakespeare plays as well, because she wants to go on the stage like her Auntie Maisie – but I’ll write more about that later).
This means if one of us refers to something from a book, the other one always gets exactly what we mean, which is more than any of my family do. None of them ever read anything apart from newspapers and the illustrated magazines Ma’s clients give her.
‘That’s just it,’ I said. ‘But now I’ve been in one of those houses. And it’s made them real. And it’s … it’s different.’
I suppose until I sat down on the Lawlors’ sofa I had never really understood, not really, that there were some people – real people – who lived surrounded by painted furniture and clocks with stars on them. People who had a gigantic bedroom each, when our Eddie has to sleep on a sofa and the twelve O’Hanlons are squashed into a cottage the size of the Lawlors’ kitchen.
I said this to Samira just as we reached the entrance to the school, but before she could answer, Sister Benin came out ringing 34the bell so we had to hurry inside. But even thought it was a few months ago now, I haven’t forgotten how that visit to the Lawlors’ made me feel. I know that’s just the way the world is, and it’s not like it’s Mrs Lawlor’s fault (or even Lavinia’s fault, awful as she is), but there’s something terrible unfair about it.
Not that I said anything about this to my family. If I said it to Ma, she would say I was being ungrateful and that I should hold my tongue and count my blessings, and it’s true that we’re a lot better off than some people in this city, the people crammed in houses where whole families live in one dirty room and the kids have to sleep on the floor and never wear shoes even in winter.
If I said it to Da, he’d say that he has enough to be doing, fighting for a fair wage for the working man, to be thinking about other people’s fancy cushions. Eddie would just laugh at me and tell me he knew all that reading would make my brain soft. Lily would ask me to describe the cushions. I can’t even imagine what Robert Hessian would say. And Little Robbie would probably just get sick on me.
Anyway, I suppose I shouldn’t say or even think anything bad about the Lawlor family from now on, because I’m going to be working for them tomorrow, and in a way it’s all because of that visit back in March. It was Mrs Lawlor who suggested to Ma that I work behind the counter in the cake shop and tearoom on Henry Street – she remembered me from that day – and of course Ma said I’d love to. It’s very kind of her, I suppose, and it saves me having to go around all the shops and factories looking for work, but I don’t want any job, not yet. I want to stay at school like Lavinia and learn German. Or French, I don’t care which.
But I don’t have any choice in the matter, so I’d better just get 35on with it. Tomorrow I have to report to someone called Miss Warby, who apparently is the manager of the cake shop and tearoom. I keep thinking of David Copperfield in the factory and feeling a bit sick. Though maybe some day I can write a book about it, just like Dickens did.
Janey mack, I’ve spent so long writing this that I think my hand is actually going to seize up and stop working and then the rest of me will do the same and maybe I’ll be enfeebled, like Mrs Hennessy’s Old Mother who lives with them and hasn’t got out of bed for five years. So I’d better stop writing before I do myself some damage. Actually, I don’t have any choice about stopping, because this pencil is practically worn down to a stub. I’ll have to use the tuppence I was going to use to get a new hair ribbon to buy a new pencil tomorrow on my way to work. I certainly won’t find a spare one around here.
Chapter Three
I am so, so tired. I just got home from work and I feel like my legs are going to fall off. I’ve been standing so much I started to worry I’d get varicose veins, like Ma complains about. You get them from staying on your feet too long without walking. I said something about this to Rosie, my new friend from work, and she just laughed.
‘You don’t get varicose veins when you’re fourteen, you big eejit,’ she said.
‘You might if you spend all day standing up,’ I said, but she just elbowed me in the ribs and told me to stop acting the tin elephant which is one of her favourite phrases. She got it off her sister Josie who works in Jacob’s biscuit factory. I’m lucky I get to work with Rosie because she really is the best thing about my job.
It’s been nearly a week now since I started at Lawlor’s, and I suppose I’m getting used to it, though I’m not sure I’d have lasted a single day without crying if it weren’t for Rosie. When I arrived on my first morning, I made the mistake of going up to the front door of the shop. In fact, I was just about to push it open when someone grabbed my arm. It gave me such a shock that I yelped.
‘Sorry!’ said a friendly voice. The voice belonged to a small girl with curly black hair bursting out of a long plait. ‘Are you the new girl?’
‘How did you know?’ I said.
‘Old Wobbly told us there was going to be a new girl on the counter today. And only a new girl would try to go in through the front door.’ 37
