The Emotion Thesaurus (Second Edition) E-Book

Becca Puglisi

• Herausgeber: WS
• Serie: Writers Helping Writers
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Seitenzahl: 429

Beschreibung

THE EMOTION THESAURUS (Volume 2) is an expanded version of the original. Now with over 130 entries and enhanced instructive front matter, this ultimate show-don’t-tell tool helps writers navigate the difficult terrain of character emotion by listing the body language, internal sensations, actions, and thoughts associated with a multitude of feelings.

Leseprobe

THE EMOTIONTHESAURUS:

A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression

Second Edition

ANGELA ACKERMAN

BECCA PUGLISI

THE EMOTION THESAURUS: A WRITER’S GUIDE TO CHARACTER EXPRESSION.

Copyright 2012, 2019 © by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi

All rights reserved

Writers Helping Writers®

No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in print or electronic form without prior permission of the authors. Please respect the hard work of the authors and do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials.

First edition published in 2012

Second edition published in 2019

ISBN: 978-0-9992963-5-6 (Second Edition)

Edited in part by Michael Dunne

Book cover design by: JD Smith Design

Book formatting by: JD Smith Design

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and foremost, we want to thank readers of The Bookshelf Muse and Writers Helping Writers for their support, encouragement, and kind words. You made us see the need for a book version of The Emotion Thesaurus, and your belief in us made it happen.

We also want to acknowledge the very important members of our first critique group: Helen (Bookish), Roy (Grampy), Madeline (Maddog), Joan (Unohoo), and Laura (Goofus). These Critique Circle writers helped us kick start this list and our respective writing careers. Our deepest appreciation also goes to our friend Sharon, who encouraged us when we needed it most.

We also owe a huge debt to the writing community at large. The writers we have met online, at conferences, at face-to-face groups, and in our own communities have been so generous with their knowledge and optimism, enabling us each to grow as writers. We love being part of this group.

And finally, the biggest shout out goes to our families, who supported us though they couldn’t see the vision, encouraged us when we struggled, and provided the business savvy we were lacking. We owe it all to you.

~To AAD and SDJ, with all our love~

THE WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®DESCRIPTIVE THESAURUS SERIES

Available in nine languages, sourced by universities, and recommended by editors and agents all over the world, this bestselling series is a writer’s favorite for brainstorming fresh description and powering up storytelling.

The Positive Trait Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Attributes

The Negative Trait Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Flaws

The Urban Setting Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to City Spaces

The Rural Setting Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Personal and Natural Places

The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Psychological Trauma

The Occupation Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Jobs, Vocations, and Careers

The Conflict Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Obstacles, Adversaries, and Inner Struggles (Vol. 1)

The Conflict Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Obstacles, Adversaries, and Inner Struggles (Vol. 2)

Emotion Amplifiers: A Companion to The Emotion Thesaurus

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction to the Second Edition

The Power of Emotion

Character Research: What to Know to Write Authentic Emotion

Using Dialogue to Write Emotion

Subtext: What Lies Beneath

Additional Ideas for Brainstorming Fresh Emotion

Common Problems with Writing Nonverbal Emotion

Using the Emotion Thesaurus

THE EMOTION THESAURUS

Acceptance

Admiration

Adoration

Agitation

Amazement

Amusement

Anger

Anguish

Annoyance

Anticipation

Anxiety

Appalled

Apprehension

Awe

Betrayed

Bitterness

Certainty

Concern

Confidence

Conflicted

Confusion

Connectedness

Contempt

Curiosity

Defeat

Defensiveness

Defiance

Denial

Depressed

Desire

Despair

Desperation

Determination

Devastation

Disappointment

Disbelief

Discouragement

Disgust

Disillusionment

Dissatisfaction

Doubt

Dread

Eagerness

Elation

Emasculation

Embarrassment

Empathy

Envy

Euphoria

Excitement

Fear

Fearlessness

Flustered

Frustration

Gratitude

Grief

Guilt

Happiness

Hatred

Homesickness

Hopefulness

Horror

Humbled

Humiliation

Hurt

Hysteria

Impatience

Inadequacy

Indifference

Insecurity

Inspired

Intimidation

Irritation

Jealousy

Loneliness

Longing

Love

Lust

Moodiness

Moved

Neglected

Nervousness

Nostalgia

Obsession

Overwhelmed

Panic

Paranoia

Peacefulness

Pity

Pleased

Powerlessness

Pride

Rage

Regret

Relief

Reluctance

Remorse

Resentment

Resignation

Sadness

Sappiness

Satisfaction

Schadenfreude

Scorn

Self-Loathing

Self-Pity

Shame

Shock

Skepticism

Smugness

Somberness

Stunned

Surprise

Suspicion

Sympathy

Terror

Tormented

Unappreciated

Uncertainty

Unease

Validation

Valued

Vengefulness

Vindication

Vulnerability

Wanderlust

Wariness

Wistfulness

Worry

Worthlessness

EMOTION AMPLIFIERS

Recommended Reading

Other Writers Helping Writers Books

One Stop for Writers

About the Authors

INTRODUCTION TO THE SECOND EDITION

When we first released The Emotion Thesaurus almost seven years ago, it was with enormous trepidation. This was our first nonfiction project, and what we didn’t know about self-publishing would have filled its own book. What we did recognize was our own difficulty conveying character emotion in a way that would engage readers. This problem is a big one, because only when the character’s emotions are clearly shared can readers become more involved. We wanted to ensure that our character’s feelings would trigger the reader’s own emotional memories, encouraging empathy that would draw them deeper into the story. Based on a hunch that other writers also had this problem, we set out to provide a solution with The Emotion Thesaurus. It wasn’t clear just how common the problem was until we saw the response to our book—a response that continues to amaze and humble us.

Our hypothesis confirmed, we dug deeper into this topic, and as we expanded our own knowledge, it became clear that we had more to share. Hence, our decision to release an updated edition of The Emotion Thesaurus.

The instructional material in the first part of the book continues to offer its unique how-to cocktail of writing emotion and show-don’t-tell tips but with some powerful new additions. It’s been expanded to include a section on how dialogue can and should be used to convey a character’s feelings. We’ve also explored the critical part subtext plays in natural conversation and how it can be written to show hidden emotion. And because backstory figures so heavily into characterization, we’ve added information on what research should be done to establish your character’s wounding events and emotional range, which will allow you to write their responses realistically and consistently.

As for the emotions themselves, we now have a total of 130 entries, each of which contains a list of the physical cues, thoughts, and internal sensations that, chosen thoughtfully, will enable you to create the perfect responses for your character. We’ve added power verbs so you can choose stronger words to describe associated actions, and sets of escalating and de-escalating emotions to help you visualize where a character might naturally go next.

In short, we hope you’ll find the second edition of The Emotion Thesaurus to be even more useful than its predecessor. Our goal, as always, is to give you the methods and brainstorming tools that make it easier to write emotional moments that are fresh and evocative.

THE POWER OF EMOTION

All successful novels, no matter what genre, have one thing in common: emotion. It lies at the core of every character’s decision, action, and word, all of which drive the story. Without emotion, a character’s personal journey is pointless. Stakes cease to exist. The plot line becomes a dry riverbed of meaningless events that no reader will take time to read. Why? Because above all else, readers pick up a book to have an emotional experience. They read to connect with characters who provide entertainment and whose trials may add meaning to their own life journeys.

As emotional beings, feelings propel us. They steer our choices, determine who we spend time with, and dictate our values. Emotion also fuels our communication, allowing us to share meaningful information and beliefs with others. And while it may seem that most exchanges happen through conversation, studies show that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal. Even in instances where we try not to show our feelings, we are still sending messages through body language and vocal cues. Because of this, each of us becomes adept at reading others without a word being said.

As writers, we must take our innate skills of observation and transfer them to the page. Readers have high expectations. They don’t want to be told how a character feels; they want to experience the emotion for themselves. To make this happen, we must ensure that our characters express their feelings in ways that are both recognizable and compelling to read. Thankfully, the media for conveying emotion are customizable, so with a bit of elbow grease, writers can craft original, authentic responses personalized to every individual in the story.

VEHICLES FOR SHOWING EMOTION

Dialogue is what we use to articulate our ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and needs, all of which are driven by our emotional state. What we feel always propels us, but it is rare to refer to those feelings directly in conversation. So while dialogue is a proven vehicle for sharing a character’s emotions, it rarely should do so alone. To convey feelings well, a writer should also utilize nonverbal communication, which can be broken down into four additional vehicles: vocal cues, body language, thoughts, and visceral reactions.

Vocal Cues areshifts in the voice that supply readers with valuable hints about the speaker’s emotional state. In conversation, there isn’t always time to think about how to react, so while a person might disguise their true feelings by choosing their words carefully, their tone of voice or the flow of words won’t be as easy to control. Hesitations, a voice that changes tone or pitch, words that suddenly slide out faster—all of these are terrific indicators that a character’s emotions have changed and there’s more to the exchange than meets the eye.

Vocal cues can be especially useful for showing the feelings of a non-point-of-view character, since, in most written viewpoints, their direct thoughts cannot be shared with the reader.

Body Language is how our bodies outwardly respond when we experience emotion. The stronger the feeling, the more we react and the less conscious control we have over movement. Because characters are unique, they will express themselves in a specific way. Combine the vast number of physical signals and behaviors found in this book with the individuality of each character, and a writer’s options for showing emotion through body language and action are virtually limitless.

Thoughts act as a window into the mental process that corresponds with an emotional experience. A character’s internal monologue is not always rational and can skip from topic to topic with incredible speed, but utilizing that mental response to express emotion is a powerful way to convey how they see their world. Thoughts also add a layer of meaning by illustrating how people, places, and events affect the POV (point-of-view) character and can help showcase their voice.

Visceral Reactions are the most powerful form of nonverbal communication and should be used with the most caution. These internal sensations (heart rate, light-headedness, adrenaline spikes, etc.) are raw and uncontrolled, triggering the fight-flight-freeze response. Because these are instinctive reactions, all people experience them. As such, readers will recognize and connect with them on a primal level.

The very nature of these heightened responses requires writers to take special care when using them. Relying too much on internal sensations can create melodrama. Also, because visceral reactions are limited, a writer can inadvertently use clichéd phrasings when describing them. A light touch is needed with this type of nonverbal communication, as a little goes a long way.

CHARACTER RESEARCH: WHAT TO KNOW TO WRITE AUTHENTIC EMOTION

In the real world, no two people are alike, which means each of us expresses emotion in our own way. Some people find it perfectly natural to share what they feel with those around them, experiencing little to no discomfort with their emotions being on display. Others find the idea of revealing what they feel horrifying and will avoid situations that could lead to such vulnerability. Most fall somewhere between these extremes. This spectrum of expressiveness is called an emotional range, and it will influence not only which feelings a person overtly shows but when and how they will manifest. While each person tends to stick to a specific area of the spectrum overall, situations where emotions are heightened can cause a shift one way or the other.

Interestingly, while we are each unique in our expressiveness, this individuality originates from the same place for everyone: our collective pasts. Upbringing, education, experiences, beliefs, and personality will all determine who we are and how we go about showing our emotional selves to the world.

As writers, one of our biggest goals is to create characters who are true-to-life, so we want to strive for this individuality when we consider how they will express themselves. The best way to do this is to spend time digging into each character’s backstory and uncover details that will show us how to design their reactions.

Backstory planning often gets a bad rap, because some writers dump that information into a scene as exposition, believing that readers must know every detail to fully understand the forces at work in the character’s life. The reality is that most backstory is for the writer, not the reader. Like a GPS is helpful for navigating a new city, understanding key details about a character’s life prior to the story’s start makes it easier to write actions, choices, and decisions that will align with who they are. Not only will this draw readers in through active characterization, it also creates intimacy and puts the character’s emotions directly on display through specific behaviors and mental processes.

The amount of backstory planning each character requires will vary depending on their role in the story, but since everyone is a product of the past, there are two universal areas worth exploring: the important people in your character’s life and the impactful experiences that have stayed with them.

Because we’re social creatures, when it comes to navigating life, we tend to look to others, especially those who are closest to us. They help us form beliefs and values and teach us how to behave and what to feel. Unfortunately, the people who have the most access and influence are not always the most supportive or functional, meaning not all our life lessons are positive ones. This is important to remember when thinking about who from your character’s past served as an example or influenced them. Specifically ask yourself: Who shaped my character’s views on emotion, and did they pass on functional or dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors?

For example, a character whose parent belittled her every time she cried as a child learns an unspoken lesson: it is better to hide emotion than share it openly. After being repeatedly invalidated in this way, the character will most likely become evasive or even lie about what they feel because they believe anything else will lead to ridicule and judgment.

Likewise, people who serve as positive influences for your character will convey healthy ideas about emotion. A character with an older brother who vocalized his feelings and used them to positively sway others will see that emotions are powerful and can become a vehicle for change. Provided our character looked up to his older sibling, he will likely adopt this same attitude and behave the same way, understanding that other people will connect to him better if he shows what he feels.

Just as important people in your character’s life helped shape how they express emotion, certain experiences can also be formative. Imagine a natural disaster, perhaps a flood that destroys much of your character’s neighborhood. In the aftermath, he’s utterly devastated by the destruction of his home and feels powerless at seeing the grief of his neighbors who have suffered a similar loss. When TV crews show up, he can’t hold back what he feels, and he breaks down on camera, which causes an outpouring of support from the rest of the city. People come forward to bring food, offer everyone a place to stay, help with clean up, and donate needed items. Not only will this wave of compassion and empathy help alleviate the character’s despair, it will instill the belief that sharing your feelings results in getting what you need most. After this experience, it’s very likely he will feel more comfortable displaying his emotions openly.

In addition to these two important backstory considerations, here are other areas worth brainstorming so you can zero in on how to show each character’s feelings.

BASELINE REACTIONS

To understand how a character might react to the big moments of conflict and upheaval in the story, we need to establish a baseline of how they behave in everyday situations. Take the typical “long line at a grocery store checkout” scenario. In front of your character are six people, including the current customer who not only has more than the allotted fifteen items, he’s constantly requesting price checks on them. How will your character react? Will he wait quietly, hating the slowness but knowing it would be futile to speak up? Or after a minute of fidgeting and fuming, will he drop his basket on the floor and shout at the cashier to open more registers?

In the first case, the character’s baseline becomes obvious: it will take a lot more than a few wasted minutes to rile him up. But if the second reaction is his default, we know that when life starts chucking lemons at him, his rage cannon will fire.

Establishing this baseline will help you maintain consistency throughout the story. And if you want to push a character closer to one end of their personal emotional range, you’ll know how hard the screw should be turned. So imagine a few benign scenarios that could be part of your character’s normal day—a car that won’t start, being late for an appointment, waking up sick, or plans changing at the last minute. It’s worth the effort to imagine your character in situations like these to get a feel for how they will react.

DEMONSTRATIVE OR RESERVED

Another aspect to consider when determining emotional range is the natural level of expressiveness for your character. Some people are more reserved while others are demonstrative, and this preference shapes the types of expression they’ll use.

Imagine a character learning that her adult children who have been living abroad will be returning home for Christmas. A reserved character may sit down to handle the surprise, a full smile brightening her expression. Her voice could warble as she speaks or she might reach out to her husband and give his hand a quick squeeze. A demonstrative character would react with more vigor, jumping up to crush her husband in a hug or making animated hand gestures as she rattles off every thought in her mind surrounding the happy news. Understanding your character’s tendencies will help you plan body language and verbal cues accordingly.

COMFORT ZONES

Not everyone feels comfortable sharing emotion in all situations. Your character’s expressiveness will likely shift depending on where they are and who they’re with. In private, people generally don’t hold back, but being around others can trigger a high degree of self-consciousness. If they feel exposed or are worried about being judged, they might rein in their emotions. However, if your character is surrounded by people they trust or others experiencing the same emotions, he or she will be more comfortable expressing their feelings. As a rule, if the character believes it’s safe to show what they feel, they typically will; if they don’t, they won’t. Plan your scenes with this in mind.

Remember that the character’s comfort zone will also extend to dialogue. Some people prefer to communicate more of what they feel while others remain tight-lipped. Likewise, your character will be more comfortable opening up to certain people, so let the nature of their relationships dictate how much is shared in each conversation. For ideas on how to convey hidden emotion through dialogue, see the section on subtext.

STIMULUS VS. RESPONSE

Not all characters have the same interests, fears, or beliefs, so how they feel in a given scenario will vary, eliciting different reactions. Imagine a spider crawling across the table where three of your characters are eating lunch. Carla is the first to notice it meandering through the wasteland of takeout wrappers and salt packets. She sucks in a strangled gasp and jerks back, causing her chair legs to shriek. The second to see it is Diane, who leans away and crosses her arms. Finally, Therese spots the leggy creature. She smiles, plucks a discarded straw wrapper off the table and nudges the spider in a direction away from the group.

The same moment, the same stimulus…and three different responses. This is the nature of emotion. Carla’s response is fear-driven. Diane displays wariness, assessing the spider as a non-threat while still protecting her personal space, clearly not wanting the creature to come closer. Therese is not bothered at all and only wants to send the spider on its way before one of her companions (likely Carla) demands its execution.

When it comes to various circumstances, we can’t assume that every character will have the same reaction or even feel the same emotion. Life experiences and personality will ultimately decide how your character responds to any given stimulus. It may complicate things when members of the story’s cast view the same situation through their own lens, but this incongruency can benefit writers, providing another great way to highlight the originality of emotion-driven behavior.

EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITIES AND INSECURITIES

A final way to ensure a unique emotional range for your character is to understand what insecurities and sensitivities lurk within. Every character will have soft spots: emotions that are avoided because they are uncomfortable or generate insecurity. Whenever one of these emotions crops up in a scene, your character will feel cornered, causing an instinct response to kick in: Fight, flee, or freeze.

These powerful, volatile reactions are an excellent way to show your character’s deeper layers and can often offer readers clues about an emotional wound—a painful event that your character experienced but has never moved past. Like an anchor dragged through life’s choppy waters, this old trauma creates relationship friction and holds her back from happiness and achievement. If you’re writing a change arc, the emotional wound can derail your character’s life. It must be examined and overcome if she is to grow and change into someone stronger who can handle the challenges standing between her and the story goal.

To illustrate the power of emotional sensitivities and how they can be used, consider this example:

After the ceremony, everyone mingled, their voices filling the garden. Linda drew in the scent of magnolias from her bouquet and then exhaled, casting out the last of her jitters. The wedding had gone perfectly; the wind behaved, no guest was short a chair, and no one in the bridal party had tripped or suffered a wardrobe malfunction during their walk down the grassy aisle. She could finally relax.

Sarah, the bride, stood in the middle of the lawn talking to a few guests. Sunlight glowed against her cheekbones and glinted off the scatter of crystals sewn into her dress and veil, a truly beautiful bride. After all her friend had been through these last years—losing her mother, the multiple miscarriages—Sarah deserved this perfect day with Tom.

Linda checked on the photographers setting up near the old oak and judged them close to ready. As maid of honor, she needed to keep everyone on a timeline, so she went to gather up the bride.

Before she could get there, Sarah bolted toward an older woman wearing a matronly purple dress and enveloped her in a hug. “Nana, you made it!”

Nana. The word knifed through Linda, jolting her to a stop.

“Silly girl. A delayed flight couldn’t keep me from making it to your special day.” She pulled back and cupped Sarah’s cheeks. “Such a beauty.”

Sarah took her grandmother’s weathered hands in her own. “I hope you know what it means to me, that you’re here. You’ve always taken care of me, and—”

“I love you, girl. Always will. Enough for both your mother and me.”

Linda’s eyes grew hot, a contrast to the cold weight crushing her lungs. This moment, this beautiful moment, was killing her.

“Oh gosh, Nana. Let me find my maid of honor so I can introduce you. She’s like a sister to me, and the only reason I’m still sane.”

Linda darted behind a group of wedding guests. The buzz of conversation drowned out Sarah calling her name, and Linda quickened her pace, heading for the French doors that would take her inside. The light was too bright, the rose garden too filled with sweetness. She couldn’t breathe. She also couldn’t tell her best friend that meeting her grandmother would be the most painful thing she could ask Linda to do.

It’s clear in this example that something traumatic happened in Linda’s past that involved her grandmother. Whatever it was, the stain of it is so great that watching her best friend share a loving, supportive moment with her Nana is too painful to bear, and so she flees.

Not only does this situation shine a spotlight on Linda’s emotional sensitivities, it also provides a window into her past in a very active, non-dumpy way. Readers will now want to know more and keep reading in hopes of discovering exactly what happened. They will also root for Linda, hurting when she hurts, and wishing for her to find happiness so she can be freed from her difficult past.

Once you’ve established your character’s sensitivities, you can use them to write scenes that evoke powerful feelings. This is easily done via the setting. Embedding triggers (like Sarah’s grandmother) to awaken these insecurities or touch on a past wound allows you to reveal the point-of-view character’s feelings. It also helps readers see exactly what is causing the elevated reaction.

USING DIALOGUE TO WRITE EMOTION

Once you’ve figured out who your character is and how their emotional responses are likely to manifest, you’re ready to start writing. As was mentioned previously, communication happens both verbally and nonverbally, so writers need to be adept at using both to show a character’s emotional state. Let’s start with the former.

Dialogue is the primary way we communicate with others, using it to share ideas and information. It’s also a big part of how we connect with people. This desire for closer relationships is why we go for coffee with friends, date our spouses, and nag at our kids to tell us about their day: we want to strengthen our connections, and the surest way of doing that is by sharing our feelings with each other. This happens because displaying our emotions requires vulnerability—peeling back the outer layers of shielding to reveal one’s fragile heart—which almost always results in a deepening relationship.

One of the most natural ways to reveal your character’s emotions is through their conversations with others. And it’s important to get this element right, because readers are keenly aware of how these verbal exchanges work in real life. If you want to write dialogue that showcases your characters’ feelings and rings true for readers, keep the following tips in mind.

UTILIZE PERSONALITY AND BACKSTORY

There’s a reason you did all that research discussed in the previous section—because who your character is will determine how they respond emotionally to their circumstances. As an example, consider someone who must initiate a tricky conversation with their boss. How the exchange goes will be largely determined by the character’s personality. Here’s how it might look for someone who is timid or uncertain:

Jason tapped on the doorframe. The battle-axe didn’t look up, just kept slashing through numbers on her sales report.

“Um, Mrs. Swanson?”

No response.

He shifted his weight, wondering how to proceed. He couldn’t mess this up. He couldn’t miss another of Kristina’s games.

Jason shuffled half a step into her office. “Um…about this weekend? I know your email said I needed to work, but…Well, I kind of already have plans—”

“Cancel them,” she said in a tone that was as forgiving as her Sharpie.

When he didn’t answer, she looked up. His gaze dropped to the rug.

This conversation makes sense for a character with Jason’s personality. But if the character were confident and not afraid of confrontation, it would go differently:

Dominic gave the door a rat-a-tat before opening it. “Hey, Mrs. Swanson.”

Silence.

He cleared his throat, clenching his hand around the doorknob. “I can’t work this weekend. I have plans.”

“Cancel them,” she said, not bothering to look up.

Heat shot through his insides, bringing him to his full height. “You can’t make me work last minute.” His voice was louder now, and he didn’t care. “I can stay late on Monday but not this weekend. Best I can do.”

That got her attention. She gave him her patented glare, and he glared right back. If she thought she could intimidate him with a staring contest, she’d never met his twelve-year-old.

Both characters begin this scenario with nervousness, but that emotion manifests differently based on the character’s personality. This is why it’s so important to do your background research beforehand, so you’ll know your character’s tendencies and how they’re likely to respond when a curveball comes.

COMBINE THE VERBAL AND NONVERBAL ELEMENTS

When we think of dialogue, we almost always equate it with speech. But the truth is that dialogue consists of more than just the words being spoken. Body language is another component that’s a part of every exchange. Omitting it will result in unnatural dialogue that will yank readers right out of the story. As an example, take a look at Jason’s conversation with only the speech included:

“Um, Mrs. Swanson?”

“Um…about this weekend? I know your email said I needed to work, but…Well, I kind of already have plans—”

“Cancel them.”

While this still conveys Jason’s nervousness, it says very little about his personality, and it reads awkwardly because this isn’t how dialogue works. People shift positions when they speak, move around, and may even interact with objects as a way to focus. These movements, important for underscoring emotion, can also characterize, killing two birds with one stone and adding dimension to the scene.

The small actions that occur within a conversation are referred to as “beats” by Browne and King, authors of the excellent resource Self-Editing for Fiction Writers. Beats serve many purposes, one of which is to reveal how a character feels about the words they’re saying. Jason’s beats (the tentative tap on the door, the shifting weight and shuffling footsteps, his inability to hold her gaze) express his nervousness loud and clear. Cumulatively, they accomplish a secondary purpose by also revealing personality.

Vocal cues—changes in the voice and speech patterns—are also in evidence when the character is feeling emotional. We see this in Jason’s hesitations and Dominic’s volume getting louder.

So as you’re crafting a conversation, consider your character’s words carefully, but also think about what the emotion might be doing to their voice. And be sure to include beats that confirm for the reader what the character is feeling while also telling a little something about who they are.

TAKE IT EASY ON THE TAGS

Since we’re talking about the words between the words, let’s touch briefly on dialogue tags. These are the attributions that let you know who’s talking—he said, she muttered, they shouted, etc. There are a lot of choices, and some of them do express emotion. Hissed words express a clear feeling, as do those that are mumbled, yelled, or sung. But after a while, these unusual tags begin to stand out and can give your writing an overworked or melodramatic feel.

This doesn’t happen as much with the simple said, which is so common as to be virtually invisible on the page. Unless you overdo it, it can be used by all characters and won’t feel repetitive. As far as expressive tags go, a good rule of thumb is to save them for important scenes or moments of high emotion. Use them sparingly and they’ll work for your story instead of against it.

Another thing to remember is that tags aren’t always necessary. If you’re worried about readers being confused about who’s talking, you can take care of this with well-written beats. Looking back at the previous examples, though quite a few words are exchanged, there is only one direct tag in each. But because of the associated beats, the conversations are easy to follow.

USE VOCAL CUES TO SHOW CHANGES IN EMOTION

As was mentioned earlier, the voice itself is another tool that can be used to show a character’s emotional state. It’s one of the first things to change when a strong feeling comes on, and initially, it’s very hard to mask. If you can capture that brief moment when control of the voice is lost, you can indicate clearly to the reader that an emotion is in play. Consider doing so by experimenting with the following vocal elements.

Pitch: Does the voice get high and shrill or go low and rumbly?

Volume: Does the character move from a moderated volume to almost yelling? Does the voice drop to a near whisper? Is it clear that they’re struggling to maintain a reasonable volume?

Tone: Does a clear tone turn breathy or husky when someone is aroused? When the character is close to tears, does the voice become brittle or cracked? Does it lose all expression and become flat when anger hits?

Speech Patterns: Does your verbose character suddenly clam up? Does her timid, verbally stumbling counterpart start running at the mouth? Does poor grammar appear in a well-educated character’s dialogue? Does a stutter or lisp announce itself?

Word Choice: What words might slip into a character’s vernacular when they’re feeling emotional that they wouldn’t normally use? Profanity and slurs? Words and phrases from their first language? Pat clichés?

If you’ve established a baseline for your character’s normal speech and vocal patterns, a change can clue readers in that there’s been an emotional shift. A word of warning, though: many of these cues can be used for multiple feelings. A trembling voice could indicate sadness, fear, uncertainty, anger, or nervousness, and without more information, the reader won’t know which one the character is experiencing. For this reason, it’s important to pair vocal cues with thoughts (if the point of view being used allows you to do so) or body language. Providing the situational context will also clarify things for readers.

MAKE YOUR DIALOGUE WORK HARDER

Conversations in real life are complex; while they’re mostly about sharing or gaining knowledge, that’s seldom the sole purpose of an exchange. Yet we often use dialogue in stories to do just that: reveal information to either the reader or another character. This can result in an info dump, with the author dropping a heavy load of backstory or narrative in the middle of the action. Info dumps are discouraged because they’re boring and they slow the pace, causing reader interest to flag.

This doesn’t mean that dialogue isn’t a good vehicle through which to share information, because it is. That just shouldn’t be the only purpose. To keep your verbal exchanges sharp and multi-dimensional, ask yourself the following question: What do my characters want from this conversation?

People have different reasons for communicating with each other. Some do it to connect while others just want to be affirmed (Wow, Anne, that’s so insightful!). An overbearing person might seek control by dominating verbal interactions with his peers. Someone else might want to appear self-important by sharing juicy tidbits with their neighbors. On and on it goes.

When you know your character’s goal in a conversation, you’ll have a better idea of what they might do to achieve it: steering the exchange in a certain direction, manipulating the other party, avoiding topics, disengaging at a certain point, etc. This knowledge will give you a better idea of how the conversation will go.

It’s also important to note that the participants may be looking for different things. This can lead to inherent conflict, since opposing goals will result in someone—possibly both characters—not getting what they want. Imagine Character A initiating a conversation because she’s romantically interested in Character B, while Character B is responding because being friendly with Character A will get him something he wants (esteem, business connections, an alibi, etc.). Someone is going to be thwarted in this scenario—either immediately or down the road—and frustrated desires typically result in an influx of emotion, which is always good for piquing reader interest.

So, absolutely, use those verbal exchanges to reveal the information you want to get across, but don’t do it in a vacuum. Keep the conversation interesting by considering each character’s goal and using that knowledge to infuse emotion into the exchange.

SUBTEXT: WHAT LIES BENEATH

Writing realistic and evocative dialogue isn’t easy. The mechanics can be tricky, but ample resources exist to help, and with enough practice, it can be mastered. But there’s another truth we need to keep in mind if we’re going to write dialogue effectively, and that is simply this: our communications with others are rarely straightforward. On the surface, it may seem like we’re engaging in some simple back-and-forth, but if you look deeper, our conversations are, to some degree, carefully constructed. We withhold information, hide our emotions, dance around what we really mean, avoid certain topics, downplay shortcomings or emphasize strengths—all of which lead to exchanges that aren’t totally honest.

Given this knowledge, if we write conversations between our characters that are completely candid, they’re going to fall flat because that’s not the way people generally deal with each other. Subtext is a huge part of dialogue, and it’s often tied in some way to emotion, so we need to be able to include it in our characters’ interactions.

Simply defined, subtext is the underlying meaning. In a conversation, you have all the obvious things happening on the surface—the words, the “acceptable” emotions on display. But then there are all the hidden elements that the character isn’t comfortable sharing: their true opinions, what they really want, what they’re afraid of, and emotions that make them feel vulnerable. These underlying elements are the subtext, and they’re important because the character wants and is actively seeking (often on a subconscious level) to keep them hidden. This results in seemingly contradictory words and actions as the character tries to overtly convey something that isn’t 100% true.

As an example, take a look at this exchange between a teenaged daughter and her dad.

“So how’d the party go?”

Dionne plastered on a smile and buried herself in her Instagram feed. “Great.”

“See, I knew you’d have a good time. Who was there?”

Her mouth went dry, but she didn’t dare swallow, not with Dad watching her over his coffee mug. Despite the hour, his eyes were bright and searching, twin spotlights carving through the mocha-infused fog.

“The usual. Sarah, Allegra, Jordan.” She shrugged. Nothing to see here. Move along.

“What about Trey? I ran into his mom at the office yesterday and she said he was going.”

“Um, yeah. I think he was there.” She scrolled quicker, the images blurring by.

“He sounds like a good kid. Maybe we could have him and his mom over for dinner.”

Her stomach lurched. “Oh, I don’t know.” Her phone trembled and she abandoned it, sitting on her hands to keep them still. “We don’t really hang with the same crowd.”

“Oh.” Dad grabbed an apple from the bowl before heading out. “Well, think about it. Couldn’t hurt to branch out and get to know some new people.”

Once his feet hit the stairs, Dionne blew out a shaky breath. How could her dad be so smart at work and so stupid about people?

Clearly, Dionne isn’t being honest with her dad. She’s conveying that everything’s fine, but under the surface, we see a different story: something happened at the party, it involved a boy she’s now avoiding, and she doesn’t want her father to know about it. While Dad is kept in the dark, the reader becomes privy to Dionne’s true emotions: nervousness, fear, and possibly guilt.

This is the beauty of subtext in dialogue. It allows the character to carry on whatever subterfuge she deems necessary with others while revealing her true emotions and motivations to the reader. It’s also a great way to naturally add tension and conflict. Without the subtext, this scene is fairly boring, just two people having a morning chat. With it, we can almost see the story playing out, with Dionne desperately trying to keep her secrets while it becomes increasingly difficult—maybe even unhealthy—to do so.

So how do we include subtext in our characters’ conversations without confusing the reader? Ironically, it’s fairly straightforward. It just requires combining the vehicles for showing emotion that were shared earlier—dialogue, vocal cues, body language, thoughts, and visceral reactions. To see them in action, let’s take a closer look at how they were used with Dionne.

First, we have her dialogue, which is unreliable; to some degree, we all go a little Pinocchio when we start talking, and Dionne is no exception. Her words subtly scream status quo: nothing happened at the party and she doesn’t feel anything in particular. But her body language (the plastered-on smile, frantic social media scrolling, trembling hands) and visceral reactions (dry mouth, lurching stomach) tell a different story. Her thoughts are also purely honest; being private, this is how thoughts work.

The nonverbal vehicles are like annoying little brothers and sisters, tattling on the dialogue and revealing true emotion. When you put them all together, they fill out the character’s narrative and paint a complete picture for readers to see.

OTHER TECHNIQUES TO SHOW HIDDEN EMOTION

Over- and Underreactions

When you’ve done the background work on a character, you know how they’ll react to ordinary stimuli and will be able to write reliable responses. Readers become familiar with the character’s emotional range and have an idea what to expect. So when the character responds to a situation in an unexpected way, it sends up an alert for readers that says, “Pay attention! This is important.”

Sometimes this occurs with an overreaction; a seemingly normal situation comes along and the character freaks out. Not only does this tell the reader that something unusual is going on, it also creates an opportunity for the character to fly off the handle and cause more problems, worsening their situation.

Underreactions are more subdued and so contribute less ancillary conflict, but they are just as effective at revealing hidden emotion. Imagine a situation the reader knows should stun or disturb the character, but when it happens, they get…nothing, or an obviously controlled reaction. A downplayed response shows just as clearly that the character is afraid to show their true feelings and so can be a good way to hint at undisclosed emotion.

Every story should include these scenarios that set the character off and cause them to react in unusual ways. Most of the time, the triggers will be tied to their backstory. The research you conducted on their wounds and sensitivities can provide you with specific situations or people that can be used to provoke the character in the story.

Tics and Tells

No matter how adept a character is at hiding their feelings, they all have their own tells—subtle and unintentional mannerisms that hint at deception. As the author, you should know your characters intimately. Take a close look at them and figure out what might happen with their body when they’re being dishonest.

It could be a physical signal or behavior, such as covering the mouth, spinning a wedding ring, or biting the lip. Maybe it’s one of the vocal cues discussed earlier. It might be a true tic, like a muscle twitch or excessive blinking. Figure out what makes sense for your character, then employ that tell when they’re hiding something. Readers will pick up on it and realize that, when it’s in play, everything is not as it seems.

Fight, Flight, or Freeze Responses

In the most general sense, the fight-flight-freeze response is the body’s physiological reaction to a real or perceived threat. We see this in everyday interactions: when a person invades someone’s space, stops what they’re doing mid-action, or literally flees the scene. It also happens on a smaller scale in our conversations.

Remember that every character has an underlying purpose for engaging with others. When that purpose is threatened or the character feels unsafe, the fight-flight-freeze reflex kicks in. You can utilize this to great effect if you know which response your character tends toward.

Fight responses are confrontational in nature and may include the character turning toward an opponent to face them directly, squaring up her body to make herself look bigger, or insulting the person to put them on the offensive. Characters who lean toward flight will have reactions centering around escape: changing the subject, disengaging from a conversation, stepping back to take oneself out of the group, or fabricating a reason to leave. If the character’s fear or anxiety is triggered, they may simply freeze up, losing their ability to process the situation or find the words they need and being unable to act until something external happens to free them.

When characters exhibit a fight-flight-freeze response in conversation, even if their emotions aren’t obvious, the reader will recognize that they’re feeling threatened. This not only builds empathy on the character’s behalf, it may also create intrigue as the reader pays closer attention to figure out why they’re responding this way.

Passive-Aggressive Reactions

Passive aggression is a covert way of expressing anger. If a character is angry but doesn’t feel comfortable showing it, they’ll often default to certain techniques that will allow them to get back at the person without revealing how they really feel. By employing sarcasm, framing insults as jokes, giving backhanding compliments, and not saying what they really mean (We’re good, or I’ll get right on that), characters are able to express their feelings in an underhanded way that others may not recognize or know how to deal with.

This can be a tricky technique to use, because, by definition, passive aggression masks the truth. But you can reveal it through a character’s thoughts, the physical signals they exhibit in private (particularly just after an interaction), and the cues they express when the other person isn’t looking.

ADDITIONAL IDEAS FOR BRAINSTORMING FRESH EMOTION

With so many aspects to juggle, describing emotion in an evocative way can be a challenge. It’s hard work to write something fresh-yet-familiar that puts readers into the character’s emotional shoes so they can share the moment. Our thesaurus entries will help you brainstorm emotional expressions that can be transformed into unique descriptions befitting your character, but if you need ideas to supplement that information, try one of the following techniques.

MINE YOUR MEMORIES

Sit back from the keyboard for a minute and think about what emotion your character is feeling. There may be several, but one will be the root cause of the others. When you identify it, think about a time when you experienced this same emotion. Then, if you’re comfortable doing so, recreate that moment in your mind and allow your body to respond to the memory. For example, let’s pretend that we’re dealing with guilt. What do you notice about your body—is there a faint, sour taste in your mouth? Is your stomach bunching up? Does your throat feel painful or constricted?

If it helps, get up and wander around. Pay attention to how your body moves in this instance of remembered guilt: are your arms curled around your torso or is your posture slumped? Are your eyes closed or open? Do you feel itchy, tingly, or uncomfortable?

Don’t forget to pay attention to your thoughts; they can create a window for readers to look through and see exactly what your character is feeling and what’s causing their reactions. Are you fixating on the people involved, perhaps someone you let down? Are you thinking about how awful it would be if others knew your secret? In fact, what would you do if someone came into the room right now and asked you about this situation?

Keep mining, paying attention to all aspects of yourself, inside and out, until you find an expression or response that would work well for your character. Then write it in an original way that fits their personality and emotional range.

PEOPLE WATCH

While you don’t want to be labeled as creepy, watching people can yield great ideas for body language (and dialogue, if you happen to overhear their conversation). Look for everyday opportunities: waiting for your bill to arrive at a restaurant, shopping at a store, standing at a counter while a barista makes your coffee. Be respectful, but don’t shy away from locations that could provide high emotion, because people who are visibly upset, excited, or frustrated are treasure troves of unique body movements.

If you do manage to overhear a conversation, pay special attention to vocal cues and speech patterns. Challenge yourself to spot pitch shifts, hesitations, throat-clearings, and other clues that are masking hidden emotions or are alluding to the speaker’s true intentions.

TAKE NOTES DURING SCREEN TIME

Another terrific way to observe how people express a range of emotions is to pay attention to TV shows and movies. Unless they’re purposely breaking the fourth wall, actors won’t have the benefit of sharing an internal monologue with the audience. This means they must show what they feel through action and dialogue. Keep a pen and pad handy and jot down any well-expressed cues you might want to fold into your own storytelling.

If you aren’t much of a moviegoer, you can also take notes as you read, paying attention to how other authors describe body language, expressions, vocal cues, internal sensations, and thoughts. While you should never reuse them verbatim in your own work, tracking strong, evocative description is a good way to recognize skillful showing and will give you a better idea of how to do the same but in your own way.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH WRITING NONVERBAL EMOTION

It should be clear by now that both verbal and nonverbal communication are necessary and can be used in tandem to convey character emotion. We’ve discussed the verbal component at length. Now let’s look at some of the common traps associated with nonverbal emotion and how to bypass them.

TELLING

By definition, nonverbal emotion can’t be told. It has to be shown. This makes it difficult to write because telling is easier than showing. Here’s an example:

Mr. Paxton’s eyes were sad as he gave her the news. “I’m sorry, JoAnne, but your position with the company is no longer necessary.”

Instantly, JoAnne was angrier than she’d ever been in her life.