The most important person is you E-Book

Natalie Breimaier

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 166

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

We always find reasons not to like ourselves or to feel that we are not good enough. Sometimes we are too fat, then too unsportsmanlike, then again too worthless compared to others. Why do we often treat others better than ourselves? To perceive oneself as the most important person has nothing to do with selfishness, but with healthy self-love. Because only when you love yourself unconditionally can relationships work. But that's easier said than done... This guide shows you how to find yourself in a variety of ways. Numerous exercises and examples help, as does the empathetic writing style of the author, who draws on personal experiences to engage the reader.

Leseprobe

Dedication

This book is dedicated to you and your uniqueness.

That you bring out all the love that lies within you and

through the love that you are, to make this world a

better place.

Foreword

Are you ready for the journey of a lifetime? Are you ready for the journey back to yourself? Are you ready for an upgrade of your life? Because the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself.

This book is the beginning of this journey, a journey that never ends. A journey into your past and into your future, which can already be lived in the present. This journey is a decision that you make for yourself. Say YES!

It should help you develop more love, more joy, more gratitude and more appreciation for yourself. Why? Quite simply: because you deserve it!

It is designed to help you dissolve your negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself. It should help you to realize that life is for you and not against you. It should help you to become the person you want to be.

Together we will find out who you were, who you are and who you want to be. We will figure out what is really important to you and what your heart burns for. We will no longer see ourselves as victims of our circumstances and step out of the victim’s role. We will reawaken the love within ourselves and thereby bring more love into the world, which this world needs.

We will embark on this journey together. Are you ready?

It's so good that you're here. I am so grateful and very happy to be able to accompany you on your journey.

Introduction

Let's start from the beginning. To the day you were born.

One day you saw the light of day. You were complete. You were born without reproach or doubt. You were there and you were loved. You did nothing more than simply be there. You were born from and as love. You are an expression of love.

As a baby, you feel safe and secure. You have not gained any experience yet. You are here and discover the world.

You can imagine it like this: You initially have a blank white sheet of paper, which gets labeled by your experiences, your view of the world, the way you got raised and many other influencing factors. Most of the time, these are the negative experiences that find a place on the sheet of paper. The years go by and you continue to collect positive and negative experiences that are written on your piece of paper.

When we are old enough to make our own decisions about our lives, this piece of paper still exists - in your subconscious. All your reproaches, doubts, insecurities and problems that show up in certain situations in your life today have their origins on paper.

Everyone has had individual experiences and has grown up differently, creating a picture of yourself and the world - your truth.

The days, weeks and years go by and some days are good and some days are bad. Some days are wonderful and some are a complete disaster that you never want to experience again.

The fact is, you didn't grow up without bad experiences, even if you think your childhood was good. All it takes is one moment when you felt misunderstood, hurt and all alone.

We have grown up in a world that is getting faster and faster. We were taught that we are good if we achieve something. If you brought home good grades, you were good. If you cleaned up your room, you were good. If you scored a goal at soccer, you were good. If you brought home bad grades, left your room as a mess and missed the goal, you weren't good.

We have learned to perform, to suppress emotions and to lose ourselves in the outside world because we were born into a belief system that persists from generation to generation. We have learned how to behave in society. We have learned what is right and what is wrong, what is beautiful and what is ugly, what is good and what is bad. All the rules and behaviors were already predetermined, so we lost our freedom.

There have never been so many people with depression and mental health problems as today.

Society has forgotten to pay attention to its emotions, but emotions are the quintessence of life, because life is always about emotions and feelings. Everything we do is for one reason: we want to feel good and loved.

The most powerful emotions are love and fear. Look at a small child: It discovers the world, it is happy and it spreads on all the love it has. A child loves unconditionally. A child is not influenced by its past or worried about the future, it lives in the moment. This should be the normal state of human beings - to discover life, to enjoy it, to be happy and to love as a child does. But the adult human being has reproaches, doubts and fears. We are so afraid of rejection, of disappointment and of unconditional love. We are afraid of breaking out of old and bad behavior patterns and showing our true light. Although fear can protect us from danger, it hides our sparkle. When people are afraid, the reaction is fight, flight or freeze. In situations in which we cannot react with fight or flight, we freeze. Like animals when they know they are inferior. Many people today still live in “freeze-mode” because they are afraid. Everyone is afraid of something. And everyone has problems. Even if it doesn't look like it to others, there is not a single person that has no problems. Our wrongly learned social system makes us believe that we have to hide our fears and put on a mask. It makes us believe that we are only loved when we are better and prettier and richer.

We all carry old soul wounds within us and try to cover up and suppress the old emotional pain. However, they prevent us from reaching our true essence - the love that we are.

I would like to work with you to revise and rewrite your blank sheet of paper, your soul wounds and negative thoughts. Remember, you were born as love. You are an expression of love. I also want to see new beliefs about you on your white sheet of paper and help you to be the person you want to be.

My story

To give you an idea of who I am, I'll tell you who I was, who I am and who I want to be.

My name is Natalie, I'm a policewoman and, more recently, an author, otherwise you wouldn't be holding this book in your hands.

First of all, I'm not an expert. I'm just a 26-year-old who tries to get the best out of all areas of life because I know that everyone deserves the best. And I want to awaken the love in you because I know how much there is.

Who was I?

I grew up in a sweet little village with an older brother and great parents. As a child, you only see the good in the world first and we should all take children as an example. They allow all the emotions and feelings that are often covered up and hidden in adulthood.

If children fall down and it hurts, they cry. If something goes against the grain, they are angry. At the same time, they laugh when there’s something funny. And they get up every day full of joy and want to discover the world. I don't have any children myself yet, but they are definitely on my heart wish list. However, I have many children in the family with whom I spend time and watch them go through life with their little feet. Children are true role models!

At some point, there comes a time when life gives you a slap in the face. We are faced with challenges that we believe we cannot solve. Strokes of fate happen, causing us to lose faith in life. We are hurt by others and lose faith in ourselves. We make mistakes that cannot be undone. Things happen that we don't want in our lives. Only then are we ready to change something.

For me, it was initially the divorce of my parents. I was already 19 years old, but I was lucky enough to grow up with both of them. I didn’t face the fact for a very long time that this took away my trust in love and that I always ended up with the wrong men until 2023. I was at rock bottom in spring that year. Unfortunately, my grandma died in February after suffering from dementia for many years. The thought that cheered me up at the time was that she was better now and that she could be with my grandpa again, who had unfortunately passed away in 2009.

After that, I had to go through a hard break up. Unfortunately, everyone knows the broken heart, where you think you're completely destroyed and the emotional wounds are deep. Most people will also know what a toxic relationship does to you. You sell yourself short, put your needs in the background and lose yourself emotionally. You do and say things to be pleased and to be loved. I have lost myself. The feeling of no longer knowing who I was, was a disaster. I was tired of losing myself in a person. I couldn't set boundaries and only knew the limit when it was crossed. Until I really couldn't take it anymore and that I need to change something. So, I decided to end all of this. I asked myself why this was happening. Why do I only leave when it hurts too much? Why do I only change something when I’m standing in front of a huge wall? Why did I choose someone else over me? Why, why, why? The answer for me was: lack of self-worth and self-love. This realization hurt so much because there is nothing worse for me than not being able to look at myself in the mirror. You stand in front of the mirror and you feel this emptiness. Now I could say that life is unfair and against me, that people are shitty because they only want to hurt me. I could ask myself why all this only happens to me and I could put myself in the victim role and continue to live my life like this - seeing myself as a victim of my circumstances and blaming others. We do this because it's easier. It's easier to blame others because when we pass the ball to someone else, it doesn't hurt as much. But like everything in life, it also had something to do with me. I am always in control of my own life and I can make decisions. I gave up my own responsibility and made the wrong decisions. I chose to make myself small and subsequently lost myself. Nothing can harm you without your consent. But I gave my consent. Was I on rock bottom? Yes! Did it almost tear me apart when I honestly looked at the fact that it was also my fault? Yes! But did I get back up again? Definitely!

You can step out of the victim role if you decide to do so. And you can always get up again if you decide to do so. As a child you can’t decide to leave a bad environment when bad things happen to you. But as an adult with free decision-making authority, you can change everything. As an adult, you can do anything, you just have to make a decision.

During this difficult time, I started to work on personal development, inner child healing and forgiveness and found the way back to myself. I know that I had to face rock bottom to see what I wanted, what I no longer wanted and to get to know my limits. It wasn't easy and there were horrible days, but I was aware that the days would pass. I changed my perspective and I am now so grateful for that time, because every person who plays a role in your life, whether for a limited or unlimited time, is a teacher for you. This person is in your life until you have "unlearned" from them and they no longer serve you or no longer suit you. The people who belong to you remain. And life gives you the same task over and over again until you solve it. Or you always meet the same souls in other bodies until you understand the message.

I started to look at myself intensively and learned to forgive - especially myself for treating myself badly. I have learned to value myself and to accept and love myself as I am - even with my weaknesses. On some days it works out really good and one some days it doesn’t, but that's what we call life.

And then boom: I met a great guy who I knew briefly but never registered. A man who makes me laugh, who makes me feel safe and secure, who makes me feel like myself, who I can trust and who makes my heartbeat faster. A man who sees me in his future from the very beginning.

I wished for a happy and fulfilling relationship for a long time. The wish came true when I healed the relationship with myself and learned to love myself. I learned to stop seeing myself as a victim of my circumstances. And that's where I want to get you too. That you realize how important YOU are and how to learn to love yourself. This has nothing to do with selfishness or narcissism - it's about healthy self-acceptance and self-love, what makes life so beautiful.

Who am I?

To keep it simple: I am a human being just like you. I am a person with strengths and weaknesses. I am a person who sometimes gets lost in roles, rules and expectations and who sometimes hides myself and my emotions. I am a person with a hard shell and a very soft core. I am a person who wants to take off the mask, that we all put on some day. I am a person with good and bad days. I am a person with millions of feelings and emotions that want to be lived. I am a person who is trying to bring more love, honesty and empathy into the world. By writing this book, I am on my way to becoming the person I want to be.

Who do I want to be?

I want to be a person who loves with all heart and to help others to love the same way - themselves and others. I want to be a person who brings more love to this world. I want to be a person who helps you to regain your faith and trust in yourself. I want to follow my heart path and live according to my heart’s desires. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to live as I did as a child - without blame, without doubt, without reproach, without prejudice, without fighting for approval from others and without unfounded fear. The wonderful thing is that I am already trying to do this as best as I can. What I want for everyone else is exactly that: to live the best life possible, because we all deserve it. As we all know, life is too short to wait for happiness.

Chapter 1

Who were you?

This is the first question I would like to answer with you, but before we do that, you need to understand that every person has its own created truth, which was formed over the past years. And with this truth we go through life.

Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that there is a beginning and an end, or do you believe in infinity? Do you believe that you are unique? Do you believe that you can do anything? Do you believe that life is for you?

Everyone has individual answers to these questions. If you believe in something, that is your truth. There is no such thing as THE general truth, there is only what you believe to be true. You see what you believe in, you are blind to everything else. Meaning: We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are.

Your truth- what you believe in- accompanies you your whole life. It arises from everything you see and do, what you don't do, what happens to you in life and what experiences you make.

Your truth about yourself comes from the most powerful tool you will ever have: your thoughts. Stop for a moment and look around you. What are you thinking about right now? Are you thinking that you still have a lot of things to do? Or are you thinking that you need to get something to drink because you're thirsty? Or are you thinking about nothing at all, just about reading this book?

We are thinking all day long and it's almost impossible to think about nothing. For example, I'm thinking right now that I should file my fingernails. It's funny, isn't it?

Your thoughts are so powerful and can change everything. Beliefs arise from all your thoughts. These are deep convictions that we adopt in our lives and no longer question.

Thoughts and beliefs create feelings - positive and negative: love, joy, gratitude, fear, sadness, anger. The range of emotions is colorful and plays in all colors.

Actions arise from your feelings. You act how you feel. If you are afraid, it’s difficult to act or you will not act at all. If you enjoy something, you will act often and you do these things because they are fun.

Your actions lead to results. And the circle closes again.

Simplified here:

Suppose you think:

I am good enough

I am loved

I am worth it

Love

Joy

Happiness

Self-esteem

Fulfillment

I love myself

I know my worth

I follow my dreams

I believe in myself

I fulfill my needs

With this book, I will help you to believe that you’re good enough. I already believe this about you.

Through the adopted belief system we are born into, through the inner critic that dominates our thinking and devalues us, through pain and disappointments, we begin to tell ourselves a lie.

We believe:

I am not good enough

I not adorable

I am not worth it

I don’t like me

I don’t know my worth

I have a lot of doubts

Fear

Anger

Frustration

Sadness

Unhappiness

I don’t believe in myself

I am a people pleaser

These wrong thoughts about you were created in your subconscious as a child. Our past forms us - whether we like it or not. Many of us are not aware of this. There were moments in your life when you started to believe that you are not good enough and not right as you are. Do you know this thought? Do you know that feeling of not being good enough?

I would like to help you to get to the origin of this belief by starting the journey in your childhood.

Because it is very important to understand that we cannot change the past today. What we can do is to change our perspective. Your past is past and not your present. The past shouldn’t become your future by taking old soul wounds with you on your way.