The Personal Power Program E-Book

Darcy Holmer

• Herausgeber: WS
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 981

Beschreibung

Do you yearn for more in your life but feel like you're settling for less?

Discover the transformative power of feeling good in your inner self, body, and finances with Darcy Holmer's The Personal Power Program: A Woman's Step-by-Step Guide to Thriving in Self, Body & Money. Just as Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provided readers with guiding principles for greater personal effectiveness, The Personal Power Program gives women guiding steps toward greater personal empowerment and fulfillment.

In a world where power is typically measured by external influence, Holmer emphasizes the true essence of power: the ability to shape your own life. This power to choose your path and take action to achieve your goals comes from the synergy of well-being in three key areas: Self, Body & Money. Together, they create a powerful force that can transform you and your life.

Self: Have clarity of what you want, enjoy greater inner peace (even when life around you is not so peaceful), navigate self-doubt and other not-enoughness feelings, and align what you do with what you want to achieve your goals.

Body: Experience the amazing transformation in how you feel and live when you love exercising because of how it makes you feel and enjoy a peaceful, pleasurable relationship with food (free from diet dramas, no willpower or deprivation required).

Money: Identify the financial goals that support your life goals, build your financial well-being, and enjoy the freedom and empowerment of feeling financially secure and having the resources to achieve the fulfilling life experiences you want for yourself and your loved ones.

Drawing from her own journey and professional insights, Holmer gives you a practical guide that shows you step by step how to build your Personal Power to create what you want to feel and see in your life. The Personal Power Program is more than just a book; it's a call to action for every woman who isn't willing to settle for less and is ready to take action to start realizing her more.

Leseprobe

THE PERSONAL POWER PROGRAM

A WOMAN’S STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO THRIVING IN SELF, BODY & MONEY

DARCY HOLMER

Copyright © 2023 Darcy Holmer

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Teem Works Publishing.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in whole or part, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission from the publisher or author.

ISBN (Kindle): 979-8-9892393-6-8

ISBN (E-book): 979-8-9892393-5-1

ISBN (Paperback): 979-8-9892393-0-6

ISBN (Hardcover): 979-8-9892393-4-4

ISBN (Audiobook): 979-8-9892393-7-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023921748

Maximize your journey with our companion workbooks! Available as a free PDF download (uneditable) as part of the PPP Bonus Materials or as a paid printed edition for more hand-on use. To purchase the printed workbook, refer to the ISBN numbers provided below.

ISBN: 979-8-9892393-1-3 Personal Power Program Companion Workbook for Thriving in Self

ISBN: 979-8-9892393-2-0 Personal Power Program Companion Workbook for Thriving in Body

ISBN: 979-8-9892393-3-7 Personal Power Program Companion Workbook for Thriving in Money

The intent of this publication is to offer information of a general nature and is not intended as a substitute for physical, psychological, medical, financial, or other professional guidance or support. The content within may not be suitable for every person or situation. This work is sold with the understanding that neither the publisher nor the author is held responsible for the actions or results accrued from the content in this book. While the publisher and the author have tried to ensure the accuracy of the information in this book at press time and provide accurate information in regard to the subject matter covered, the publisher and the author assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any other inconsistencies herein and disclaim liability for any actions or results from any errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or inconsistencies.

For more information, visit www.ThePersonalPowerProgram.com and www.DarcyHolmer.com.

For my family. Thank you for the gift of your love and support.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

I. PREPARE

1. What Is Personal Power and Why Does It Matter?

2. What Is Your WHY?

3. Gifts to Give Yourself

II. ASSESS

4. Question #1: Where Are You?

The Personal Power Quiz

5. Question #2: Where Do You Want to Go?

III. BUILD WELL-BEING IN SELF

6. Well-Being in Self

7. Power Step 1: Know What You Want

8. Power Step 2: Cultivate Inner Peace

9. Power Step 3: Be Mindful

10. Power Step 4: Practice Enoughness

11. Power Step 5: Focus On Your Sphere of Power

12. Power Step 6: Release Inner Drag

13. Power Step 7: Feast On Life

14. Power Step 8: Connect With Others

15. Power Step 9: Be An Advocate for Your Resources

16. Power Step 10: Live Congruently

17. Summary of Power Steps to Build Well-Being in SELF

IV. BUILD WELL-BEING IN BODY

18. Well-Being in Body

19. Power Step 1: Embrace Exercising to Thrive

20. Power Step 2: Just Show Up for Something

21. Power Step 3: Start Smart with Exercise

22. Power Step 4: Do Enough Cardio

23. Power Step 5: Do Enough Strength Training

24. Power Step 6: Stay Balanced & Flexible

25. Power Step 7: Embrace Eating to Live

26. Power Step 8: Stop Dieting (and other things that perpetuate a Live-to-Eat vicious cycle)

27. Power Step 9: Start Doing What Supports an Eat-to-Live Lifestyle

28. Power Step 10: Practice Health (Not Just Sick) Care

29. Summary of Power Steps to Build Well-Being in BODY

V. BUILD WELL-BEING IN MONEY

30. Well-Being in Money

31. Power Step 1: Know Your Financial WHY

32. FYI: How to Get on the Same Financial Page as Your Partner

33. Power Step 2: Take Charge of Your Numbers

34. Power Step 3: Recognize How Your Relationship with Money Influences Your Actions Around Money

35. Power Step 4: Build A Rainy Day Fund

36. Power Step 5: Hope for the Best But Prepare for the Worst

37. Power Step 6: Manage Your Debt & Maintain A Good Credit Profile

38. Power Step 7: Be Proactive with Taxes

39. Power Step 8: Prepare for Retirement

40. FYI: If Funding Your Child’s University Education Is a Goal, Read This

41. Power Step 9: Invest to Build Your Financial Muscle

42. Power Step 10: Create A Plan to Achieve Your Financial Goals

43. Summary of Power Steps to Build Well-Being in MONEY

VI. CONSOLIDATE

44. Consolidate Your Personal Power

Appendix A: Darcy’s 2-Day Strength Training Program

Appendix B: Darcy’s 3-Day Strength Training Program

Appendix C: Darcy’s Baby Steps in Food

Appendix D: A Few Resources

References

Acknowledgements

INTRODUCTION

We change when not changing becomes more uncomfortable than change itself.

I learned this lesson in Moscow, Russia, where I was living at the time with my husband and our two young sons. We had transferred to Moscow from Chicago the previous year with my husband’s work. It was October 2003, and the landscape was beginning to don its wet gray mantle, the perfect dreary backdrop for hitting my more uncomfortable wall.

It wasn’t being in a foreign country that caused my discomfort. I had lived overseas before, a desire born in the pages of books I had read as a young reader growing up in a small town nestled between the cornfields of Illinois. That desire had blossomed into a full passion after time spent abroad. My first venture into international living was in Spain at 21 years old, when I went abroad for a year of study. That year confirmed my love for being an expat. After university, I joined a multinational firm that gave me the chance to work in Germany. It was in Germany that I met my future husband. I eventually relocated to Budapest, Hungary, to be with him and continued my finance career there. Russia marked the fourth country in what would eventually become a tally of seven countries and two decades spent living abroad.

No, it wasn't the unfamiliarity of a new country that weighed on me, but rather the internal discomfort I could no longer brush aside. While I could share with you what made me reach my more uncomfortable point, the truth is that it wasn’t a final straw that was important, but it and all that came before it, the stack of proverbial hay that had finally grown too heavy of a burden to ignore. Little by little, I had neglected my self-care, compromising my needs and fulfillment, and the seemingly small relinquishments I had made over time had accumulated. I realized the uncomfortable truth I could no longer ignore: I did not feel the way I wanted to feel.

Yes, there were practical reasons I could point to as to why I had made the decisions that led me to my uncomfortable point. There were excuses I could make and had made about why I needed to or couldn’t do x, y, or z. There were good choices, too, that I had made along the way, for heart reasons, like taking a step back from my corporate career to spend more time with our two boys. However, in the journey to get to where I was — which had many wonderful elements to it, my beautiful little family and a chance to live my passion of living abroad an obvious part of that — I had, by my own choosing, compromised something too valuable to compromise: my own self-care and well-being.

This neglect not only impacted how I felt but also how I showed up in the different facets of my life. I realized that the lens through which I viewed myself and my life had changed. I had adopted a lens of almost powerlessness — as if life were happening to me instead of me living it. Instead of living my life fully, I felt confined by my perceived limitations, and, as a result, I had been settling for less than how I wanted to feel. I had also been settling for being less than who I wanted to be for the people and things that meant the most to me. Now, I was at a point where the status quo was no longer an option. I had reached the point where I was too uncomfortable not to change.

As I embarked on my journey to feel better, I realized I wasn’t alone. I spoke with and eventually worked with other women experiencing similar discomfort of not feeling as good as they wanted. They, too, grappled with feeling limited in their lives, choices, circumstances, and how they felt inside. Compromising on their self-care, whether physical, psychological, or financial. Staying in unfulfilling jobs. Staying in unfulfilling relationships or relationship patterns. Not pursuing a goal or dream due to fear, self-doubt, or not feeling good enough. Feeling financially insecure. While the stories were different, what was the same was this shared sense of not feeling empowered in their lives, of not feeling how they wanted to feel.

You may be feeling that way too. Not feeling the way you want to feel. Not feeling you have the power of choice and feeling restricted in some or many respects in your life. Not living as fully as you desire. Ultimately, not feeling empowered in your life. For different reasons, you may have neglected your self-care and your own needs, perhaps relinquishing in what seemed small, almost imperceptible ways at the time what was and is essential to your well-being and fulfillment. You may have, too, reached the point of feeling too uncomfortable not to change, recognizing that you’re settling for less in your life than you want and that you’re no longer willing to settle. You’re no longer willing to compromise on the more you yearn to feel and have in your life. While your more may be different from mine, what is not different is that when we settle for less than what we want to feel or have in our lives, we lose a piece of ourselves. When we give up on what we want, we devalue the magic gift of potential that is each day of our lives.

The good news is we don’t need to. You don’t need to. You don’t need to settle for less than you want. You can achieve the more you crave in your life. You can give yourself the power to choose your path and the resources to follow it. You can be clear on what you want and feel able to pursue it. You can feel good in your skin, inside and out, able to fully step into your space, voice, and potential. You can wake up filled with energy, vitality, and purpose. You can feel financially secure and able to do what supports the fulfilling life and life experiences you want for yourself and your loved ones. You can enjoy greater joy and abundance in your life. You can create the change you want to feel and have in your life.

Change is possible. Even when we feel it is not. Even when we don’t feel prepared or capable of change. Even when we feel we lack options. Change is always a choice. It begins with the choices we make inside ourselves. So, no matter where you are in your life, embrace that you have the power to choose. You don’t need to be, feel, or possess everything you believe you should in order to be able to create the change you want to experience and see in your life. You only need to be willing to show up for it — to make the choice to show up for the more you want to feel and have in your life.

Ultimately, that is why the Personal Power Program exists, or PPP, as I’ll refer to it. PPP was born out of my journey and that of other women I saw struggling with the same challenges, feeling less good than they wanted to feel and limited in some way to achieve what they wanted in their lives. Based on what I learned and experienced, I wanted to create a resource, a step-by-step guide that women could use to help them realize the transformative force of feeling good and empowered in their lives. I wanted a holistic resource to cover key areas of well-being so that they had the internal and practical resources to support their ability to go after the more they craved to feel and have. PPP is the result of that desire.

The Journey to PPP

There are three areas of well-being that I focus on in PPP: Self, Body, and Money. These three areas form the foundation that supports feeling empowered in our lives. These three areas emerged as, step by step, I journeyed through my own process of change and worked with other women in theirs. PPP starts with building well-being in Self because that is where the journey to greater empowerment begins: Inside ourselves. That was where I had to take the first step in my journey. I made the intentional decision to show up for what I wanted, to prioritize my well-being and self-care.

It's not an easy concept, the idea of putting yourself first, especially when you are a caregiver. As a mom, I always felt that my children and family were my priority. And they are. To an extent. That is the extent to which one can maintain the balance of caregiving while caring for oneself. That can be difficult to do, especially when you want to give unconditionally and without limit. However, when giving means neglecting your own self-care, it eventually leads to the neglect of other people and things. So, what I have experienced and know deeply to be true is that I can give more when I have more to give, and I only have more to give when I take care of myself first. Then, I can take care, and better care, of those people and things most meaningful to me. Instead of taking away from those people and things most meaningful to me, that first step enabled me to give even more. However, (despite all the flights I’ve taken where they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping someone else with theirs), while the idea always sounded logical to me, I didn't fully recognize or embrace this truth until I started this journey.

After I decided to prioritize my well-being and self-care, I took another step: I started investing in myself. I focused on two things. One, I started researching affordable master’s programs. At the time, I was taking a break from my career in finance to spend more time with our two young sons, which was a gift. Still, I felt the need to do something for my own development, growth, and mental stimulation while caring for our children. Two, I scheduled a session with a personal trainer. Up to that point, exercise was something I generally avoided and viewed only as a much-dreaded, short-lived last resort to make up for some food sins to maintain a desired number on the scale. This time, though, I began to exercise to feel better, something I had never used exercise for before.

Despite turning to exercise for a compelling reason, the process was not without effort, and I needed the support and accountability of a trainer to help me show up. However, slowly and gradually, as I started to feel better and experienced the positive benefits of my efforts, I started wanting to show up. Feeling good was the only motivation I needed. I began expanding my exercise repertoire and met other women with whom I could be active and connect socially.

As I felt and saw the positive results of exercise, I took another step. Feeling better made me recognize and be less keen to keep beating my head against the proverbial brick wall that was my atrociously unhealthy eating habits. A chronic dieter since I was 12, I had primarily relied on a combination of junk food and meal replacement shakes to manage my weight. However, I was no longer willing for my body to be the battleground of the war between food and the scale. I gradually began adding healthier fare to my meals, food that left me feeling lighter and more energized. I didn’t deprive myself of anything, and I didn’t intentionally decide to eliminate anything from my diet. However, as I ate better, the resulting feel-good feelings naturally supported a gradual gravitation toward more nourishing foods and away from less nourishing ones. I stopped weighing myself and relied on how I felt as my guide. I eventually became free of my dysfunctional relationship with food, the scale, and dieting.

Over time, my body began to change. I remember the first time I felt hard muscle on my body, something that was not a usual occurrence on my naturally softer body build. I lost two clothing sizes without shedding any weight, just from the shift to more muscle and less fat. People started complimenting me on my skin, which was new, as was the strong nail growth that replaced the weak, splitting nails I usually had.

Exercise and a more nourishing diet didn’t just make me feel and look better physically. It made me feel better psychologically and enhanced the steps I was already taking to support myself mentally and emotionally. I was reconnecting with and supporting my inner self, tuning more into what I needed and aligning my actions accordingly. During this time, I went to graduate school, earning both my MBA and Master of Public Health degrees. I also became actively involved in organizations that provided opportunities to connect with other like-minded women. I spent time working on and initiating volunteer activities that were meaningful to me. Feeling good was incredibly empowering and created a virtuous cycle of well-being that was apparent in how I showed up in my relationships and my life.

The lens through which I viewed life had changed, too. I no longer felt like life was happening to me but that I was living life more fully, no longer settling for less but honoring how I wanted to feel and what was meaningful to me. It was something I knew that I wanted to share with other women. I first became certified as a personal trainer and mindful eating coach, then later as a life coach, to help other women make positive changes to support their well-being. I continued to seek information, inspiration, and tools that supported the journey to greater well-being and personal empowerment.

As I continued my professional and personal journey, the final area of well-being that would become a part of PPP emerged: Money. Depending on our financial situation, we can feel empowered to make choices in our lives, or we can feel powerless to choose. Despite money’s significant role in our lives, many of us receive little to no formal financial education, and the non-formal education we receive about how to relate to or manage money is not always helpful or positive. Furthermore, as women, we may feel a lot of self-doubt when it comes to finances and our financial knowledge.

As a finance graduate and professional, I took such knowledge for granted. I did not, however, take my financial well-being for granted. Early in my life, I learned that financial well-being meant having the power to choose, so it was always a priority for me, even when I stopped working for an official salary and was focusing my time on the kids. Even if we are not earning a salary, there are still things we can do to support our financial well-being, and it’s important to do that. More than just dollars and cents, the sense of feeling financially empowered in our lives, of having choices, is so critical. When we don’t have that, it can be extremely limiting, not just in practical ways but how we feel inside ourselves and the choices we feel we can or can't make in our lives.

Through my work and interactions with other women, I saw how disempowering the lack of financial education and security could be. I saw women making choices and settling for less because they didn’t feel they could financially afford to make different choices. I wanted to use my finance background to empower and engage other women in their financial lives. I wanted them to feel good not only in their figurative and literal skin but also in their financial skin so they would feel they had the power of choice. So, Money became another essential part of PPP. I built upon my financial education and experience by becoming certified as a financial coach and educator, later obtaining my CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ certification.

My journey ultimately led to the creation of PPP, a step-by-step guide for women to use to help them thrive in Self, Body, and Money and feel more empowered in their lives. It is a guide to help you, dear reader, thrive in Self, Body, and Money and feel empowered to create what you want to feel and have in your life.

* * *

About PPP: Get What You Need

PPP is a resource that can help you create real transformation in yourself and your life. It achieves this by guiding you step-by-step on how to build a strong foundation of well-being that is a powerful, transformative force in your life by focusing on three areas – Self, Body, and Money. Each area is an essential part of the foundation of well-being that gives you the internal and practical resources that support your ability to choose your path and live a life that fulfills you. Having said that, this is your journey, and this book is intended to be a resource for you to get what you most need from it. So, let’s talk about how to use PPP to do that.

The Personal Power Program is organized into six parts:

PrepareAssessBuild Well-Being in SelfBuild Well-Being in BodyBuild Well-Being in MoneyConsolidate

Some parts will be important for you to read, no matter how you use PPP to build your empowering foundation of well-being. Other parts you may choose to read now or later, depending on your sense of well-being in the three areas and what area or areas you feel the greatest need to focus on first.

PART 1 PREPARE Chapters 1-3: Read this. These chapters lay the necessary groundwork for the program and prepare you for your transformative journey. Read all three chapters and do the reflections in Chapters 2 and 3.

PART 2 ASSESS Chapters 4-5: Read this. In these two chapters, you will assess your well-being in Self, Body, and Money and start setting the direction of where you want to go in each. Read Chapter 4, do the PPP Quiz, and then complete the exercises in Chapter 5.

PARTS 3-5 BUILD Chapters 6-43: You decide what you need. These parts form the bulk of the program, where you build your foundation of well-being in Self, Body, and Money. Based on your work in the ASSESS chapters and your goals, you know your sense of well-being in each area and can decide which area or areas of well-being you want to focus on first.

Having said that, while I don’t want this to be a rigid program — I believe that the best plan is the one we will implement, and that means getting what you need from PPP — I do want to stress that the areas are in their presented order for a reason. In particular, having a strong foundation of well-being in Self is essential because much of what you apply in Self will guide and support you in the other areas. Therefore, even if you feel a strong sense of well-being in your inner self, you may still want to skim the Chapter 17 summary of the 10 Power Steps in Self and ensure you have the clarity, internal guidance, and inner resources you need before moving on to another area.

PART 3 Build Well-Being in SELFChapters 6-17:These chapters cover 10 Power Steps to building well-being in Self. Self is where you work on your relationship with yourself. These 10 Power Steps will help you gain greater clarity around what you want, cultivate greater inner peace, resilience, and abundance, and align what you do with what you want to achieve in your life.PART 4 Build Well-Being in BODY Chapters 18-29:These chapters cover 10 Power Steps to building well-being in Body. This is where you work on your physical well-being. These 10 Power Steps will help you develop a more peaceful, life-enriching relationship with exercise and eating for greater vitality, strength, and energy to feel and live as fully as you desire.PART 5 Build Well-Being in MONEY Chapters 30-43:These chapters cover 10 Power Steps to building your financial well-being. These 10 Power Steps will help you improve your relationship with money, take charge of your finances, and build your financial muscle to support your goals and feel a greater sense of financial security and empowerment.

Take Action Sections: Whether you work through the program sequentially as it is laid out or choose to focus on a particular area of well-being first, activate what you learn. To help you do this, at the end of each chapter and Power Step is a Take Action section summarizing the key points covered in each Power Step. You don’t have to do all Take Action items at once, but make sure that you do take action. Don’t just read the words; activate them, making space for them in your life. Use the Power Tools below to help you take action and stay accountable to the more you want to feel and have in your life.

Summary of Power Steps: If you want to get a peek at what is covered before you begin each area, or if you like to have a big-picture view of the content covered, you’ll find a summary at the end of each well-being section with the 10 Power Steps covered in that particular area of well-being.

PART 6 CONSOLIDATE Chapter 44: Read this chapter. In this chapter, you consolidate what you’ve learned, get laser-focused, and build momentum as you take intentional action to achieve what you want to feel and have in your life. Read the chapter and do the exercises.

Power Tools to Support You On Your Journey

To help you get the most out of PPP, I suggest using the following tools:

Tool #1: Get the PPP Companion Workbooks. There is a companion workbook for each area of well-being to help you work through and take action to apply the material covered. You can get access to PDFs of the workbooks in the PPP Bonus Materials at www.darcyholmer.com/PPPBonusMaterial.Tool #2: Get a calendar or planner. You will hear me say more than once in PPP, “If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real. If it’s not real, it won’t happen.” By real, I mean something that goes from an intention in your mind to actual action. So, move from wanting to achieving by using a calendar or planner to schedule the actions that support your goals.Tool #3: Start a journal. I talk about journaling in each area of well-being and why it’s helpful, but the bottom line is that it can support you in your PPP journey, keeping you true to yourself and what you want and gaining powerful insights along the way to working toward your goals. So, as you go through each chapter, along with the workbooks, use your journal to note what resonates, ah-ha moments, and key takeaways.Tool #4: Wear a reminder bracelet. I introduce this in Power Step 3 of Self, but this is a great tool to start your journey off with. A reminder bracelet is just that: A visual reminder to check in with yourself each day and as you move through your days to keep you true to yourself, to the journey you have committed to and why, and to help you stay mindful as you take action to achieve your goals. It is easy to get swept up in the busyness and business of life, and a bracelet or other similar visual trigger reminds us to check in with ourselves and stay mindful as we move through our days and make choices that impact the quality of our feelings and lives.

How To Continue to Use This Book

After you’ve gone through the book once according to the approach that fits your needs best, continue to use it to support your journey.

Apply what you've learned in your area or areas of focus to work toward your goals. If and when you feel that you want to do more or expand your focus, return to the book and work on those areas where you want to thrive more.Use this book as a reference, a source of inspiration, and a guide. Come back to it as frequently as you need to support and help you take action. Use it as a reminder of what you want and what you can achieve. Use it to help you stay mindful of your choices each day and how they support how you want to feel and what you want in your life.Build on your work by seeking out other informational and inspirational resources. This book is one resource, but don’t stop there. There are incredible sources of information and inspiration available. I’ve shared some of my favorites in Appendix D: A Few Resources. Continue to expand your knowledge and insight.

Your Personal Power Journey

You are beginning an incredible journey, a journey to honor what you want to feel and have in your life. It is an incredible gift you are giving yourself, and it’s one that only you can give yourself. Only you have that power. You are the author of your story and remember: Life, like writing, is a continuous process of editing. You have the opportunity to edit what isn’t supporting the story you want. Now is the time. In fact, there is no better time than right this moment.

It is my intention and deep hope, dear reader, that PPP will be a source of inspiration and support as you embrace the opportunity that is each moment of your life. I hope you will recognize the gift of arriving at your more uncomfortable and the transformative journey it can lead to. I hope that PPP will help you take the steps that will carry you on your own transformative, empowering journey that will take you from where you are to the change you want to feel and have in your life.

PARTI

PREPARE

1

WHAT IS PERSONAL POWER AND WHY DOES IT MATTER?

Personal Power isn’t about having power over other things and people. It’s about having power over your own life.

What is Personal Power? What does it mean to you? Do you have Personal Power now? What would it mean to you, to your life, if you had more Personal Power than you do today?

A person’s power is often viewed as the measure of influence they have over other things and people due to wealth or position in the world. However, Personal Power isn’t measured by the power you exert over other things and people, and it doesn’t come from what you own or a title. Your Personal Power is the measure of influence you have over your life. It is feeling that you are in charge of your life and have the freedom to choose your own path. It is feeling able to follow your desired life direction and believing that you can achieve how you want to feel and what you want in your life. Personal Power is ultimately about feeling empowered to choose and do.

Unfortunately, too many of us do not feel empowered to choose and do. We do not feel in charge of our lives or that we can decide our own path. Instead of feeling free, we feel restricted — limited by our circumstances, by others, or by ourselves and what we think we can, can’t, should, shouldn’t, must, or mustn’t do. Instead of feeling empowered in our lives, we often feel powerless. And that feeling of powerlessness keeps us stuck.

We stay stuck in jobs that feel like they’re sucking our souls out of us.We stay stuck in relationships that drain our hearts and self-esteem.We stay stuck in fears about what we can or can’t do, what we can or can’t achieve, or what may or may not happen.We stay stuck in not-enoughness, never feeling we are or have enough of something to be or do what we want. Not enough time, energy, or money. Not enough skill, confidence, knowledge, or experience. Not enough in terms of looks, weight, fitness, or youth.We stay stuck in worries about what others will think, say, or do.We stay stuck in indecisiveness about what we want.We stay stuck in negative patterns, neglecting our needs and repeating what doesn’t make us feel good or help us achieve what we want in our lives.We stay stuck settling for less because we don’t feel we can have more.

Bottom line: We stay stuck because we don't feel empowered to create the more we want to feel and have in our lives.

The good news is that we don’t have to stay stuck and settle for less than we want. You don’t have to stay stuck. You can have the freedom to decide your own path. You can feel empowered to choose and do. You can achieve the more you crave in your life instead of settling for less. You can have power over your life because Personal Power doesn’t come from what others give you but from what you give yourself. It comes from the gift of having a strong foundation of well-being that gives you the resources you need to go after the more you want in your life — the more that makes you feel healthier, happier, and more fulfilled.

How to Build Personal Power

How do you build your Personal Power? How do you build that strong foundation of well-being that supports you so you feel the way you want to feel and can live your life the way you want to live it? How do you realize the source of empowerment that can transform your life?

Personal Power comes from having well-being in three areas:

SelfBodyMoney

Why these three areas? These form the foundation that gives you the supporting resources to create what you want to feel and have in your life.

Well-Being in Self: Well-being in Self is how you feel inside. It is the heart of your Personal Power because how good you feel inside guides everything — who you are, how you show up in the world, and what you do or don’t do. When you have a strong sense of inner well-being, you know what you want and have the internal resources to help you achieve it. You are better able to be your best self, pursue what you want, and navigate challenging situations with resilience. You feel good in your skin and your life — empowered to choose and do — and that makes all the difference in how you live it.

Well-Being in Body: Well-being in Body is how you feel as your physical self. Of course, as research shows and most of us know from experience, how we feel physically extends far beyond just the body. Like your well-being in Self, how good you feel in your body influences every area of your life. It goes beyond just your physical health and impacts your emotional, cognitive, and even financial health. The better you feel in your physical self, the more support you have to lead a full and fully functioning life today and tomorrow. Well-being in Body gives you a wellspring of energy, vitality, and feel-goodness that feeds you and all areas of your life.

Well-Being in Money: Where you live, how you live, what you do, how you feel, your relationships, your dreams, and more are all influenced by your well-being in Money. Money plays a key role in almost all facets of your life, and your financial well-being impacts not just you but your loved ones dependent on you. While money can’t buy happiness, it is a powerful tool that gives you more choices in life and supports your well-being now and in the future. When you have a strong sense of well-being in Money, you feel more able to choose and do because you have the financial resources to do so.

When you have well-being in Self, Body, and Money, you have the resources that give you the freedom of choice and the power to do. You have the inner resources to guide, support, and sustain you as you live your life, pursue what you want, and encounter challenging situations. You have the physical well-being that gives you the vitality, strength, and energy to live as fully as you desire. And you have the financial resources that support the life and life experiences you want for yourself and your loved ones. When you build your strong foundation of well-being in Self, Body, and Money, you build a powerful force that supports your whole life, today and all your tomorrows.

The Power of Feeling Good

There’s a saying that a parent is only as happy as their least happy child. The same idea applies to our well-being. No matter how well things may be going in certain parts of our lives, if there is one area that is suffering, we feel it. It weighs on us and the other areas of our lives, coloring our perceptions and experiences. That’s because we’re human, and our lives and emotions aren’t easily compartmentalized.

For example, if you are staying in a situation, personally or professionally, where you are settling for less than you want because of fear or not feeling enough of something, because you feel you don’t have a choice, or because you feel limited in some way to change it, that situation creates stress and is draining. It is not only a burden that weighs on you inside, but it also affects how you show up in other areas of your life. If you’re not sure what you want — but know that where you are is not it — if you do nothing to address it, you will likely feel lost, stuck, or unfulfilled, and those feelings drag on you and are woven through the fabric of your life.

If you don’t feel good physically, struggle with your weight, or feel out of shape, that can undermine your mood, mental and emotional energy, self-esteem, and confidence, which, in turn, influences how you show up every day in your work, your relationships, and what you do (or don’t do). If you’re worried about money, that stress can carry through to other areas of your life. You may take your worries out on loved ones, close down emotionally, and your relationships may suffer. Your work may suffer. You may look for a distraction in food or alcohol, which can have other consequences.

However, just as poor-being in one area drags on the well-being of others, doing what helps you to feel good has the opposite, uplifting effect. When you do what enhances how you feel in one part of your life, you enhance the rest of your life because feeling good is synergistic. The combined effect of doing what supports your well-being in Self, Body, and Money is greater than the sum of those parts. It creates a cumulative, powerful force that lifts your whole life and can transform it.

It also creates a virtuous cycle. When you build that strong foundation of well-being and experience just how good it feels to feel good and empowered in your life, you want to do more of what continues that good, empowering feeling. It is a self-reinforcing process. The better you feel, the more likely you are to do those things that perpetuate that feeling. The better you feel, the more able you are to embrace life and take action to realize the fulfilling experiences you want.

The better you feel, the less likely you are to fall into negative habits or stay stuck in draining situations. You’re less likely to seek distraction or try to meet an unmet need by eating, drinking, spending money you don’t have, “looking for love in all the wrong places,” or otherwise doing what doesn't lead to how you want to feel and often makes you feel worse. You’re less likely to stay in draining relationships, jobs, or situations. Instead, you are more likely to navigate life challenges better because you have the resources to do so.

So, while enjoying well-being in Self, Body, and Money doesn’t mean that you are immune to life's challenges that can and will arise in your life or that you’re doing everything perfectly, it does mean that you are more likely to address obstacles productively and life challenges with resilience. You’re more attuned to your inner GPS that guides you toward what you need and want, so when you get off track and do things that make you feel less than how you want to feel, you course correct and get back to doing what you know helps you feel good. You are more flexible, adaptable, and resilient because you prioritize taking care of yourself and your needs. Feeling good in Self, Body, and Money fuels a self-sustaining positive cycle that supports you and all areas of your life.

Personal Power is Your Choice

The great thing about increasing your well-being in Self, Body, and Money — about expanding your Personal Power and ability to feel and live the way you desire — is that you are in charge. You get to choose. Ultimately, you are the only one who can. Other people and things don’t determine how you feel or the outcome of your life. You do. You are the master of your journey. Personal Power is your choice, your responsibility, and your privilege. It is your gift to you. Are you ready to give it to yourself?

Are you ready to give yourself the gift of clarity and knowing what you want in your life?

Are you ready to give yourself the gift of opportunity that is each moment of your life and fully step into your potential and the potential of the more you desire?

Are you ready to give yourself the gift of feeling good and having the resources to achieve how you want to feel and live?

Let’s get started.

2

WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

The quality of your doing is determined by the quality of your WHY for doing it in the first place.

Before we move on to Assess, this and the following chapter will help lay the groundwork for success in your journey to greater well-being and Personal Power. To that end, we begin with one question:

WHY?

Why are you here? Why are you doing this? Why do you want to take this journey? I stated this in the introduction: We change when not changing becomes more uncomfortable than change itself. That was what started my journey: I had reached my more uncomfortable. What was the more uncomfortable that motivated you to pick up this book? In other words, what change do you want to feel and see in your life?

Anne Hartley, a life coach, writer, and teacher, says that goals are feelings we want to achieve.¹ I believe that to be so true. It’s not things, conditions, or achievements we strive for but what they allow us to feel. It is feeling a certain way that we desire. What are the feelings you want to achieve, and why are they important to you?

Knowing your Why is important. Itis your compass and will guide you. It will inspire and encourage you to take and keep taking each step, to keep moving toward the reason that prompted you to pick up this book. Knowing your Why is important because change isn’t without effort.

Change isn’t without effort.

Even when the change will ultimately bring about the results you want, you will still need to make an effort. And as you do, you will experience discomfort, frustration, fear, insecurity, and other emotions you won't like. You will have feelings that will demand an effort on your part to navigate. You will be tempted to fall back into old habits, and you will! You will because that is part of learning and moving forward. Progress isn't a straight line. It's a two-steps-forward-and-one-step-backward progression.

In my experience, it is those very steps backward that help to consolidate and strengthen the forward steps because they remind you of what you don’t want to feel. As you take steps forward to what makes you feel more the way you desire, if and when you backtrack, you feel it more keenly and become more aware of why those steps backward don’t work for you or support what you want.

The process of positive change and the transformative magic it can create in your life is amazing to experience, but it is not without effort. And the thing that is going to help you keep making an effort and doing what it takes to honor what you want to feel and have in your life is knowing why you're making the effort in the first place. The deeply resonating, must-make-a-change, don't-want-this-anymore, want-more-for-myself-and-my-life Why.

As you think about your Why, know that it isn't out there. It isn't in others' opinions. It isn't in goals that look good on paper, to your ego, or to someone else. It isn't in goals that are based on fear or to please someone else (or avoid criticism). It isn't in stories you've told yourself about what you can or can't do, who you can or can't be. Others' opinions and goals aren't yours, and self-limiting stories don't define what you want or what you can or can't do, be, or have. The answer is the truth that is inside of you.

Part of this journey is to get more in touch with that part of you, that inner, true self who knows you and what you want. It is to learn more about who she is, what she needs, and how she wants to feel. Now, though, it's time to connect with the reason that brought you to this page.

Is your Why to wake up feeling energized, with purpose, and looking forward to the day ahead?

Is your Why to be able to live your life more completely and do things you haven't been able to do or have felt held back from doing?

Is your Why to feel better in your skin, free yourself to do more, have more, or be more of who you want to be in your life?

Is your Why to worry less and feel greater security when it comes to your future, whether that is related to your health, finances, or something else?

Is your Why to feel alive, more fulfilled, and have more of the fulfilling life experiences you want, personally or professionally?

Is your Why to live your life as fully as you want — as you define that — so that you won't feel regret or wish that you had lived your life differently?

This is yourWhy. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only the Why that is the truth for you. So, think about what made you pick up this book. Think about the initial flash of inspiration, urge, desire, goal, craving, or need that led you to choose it, open it, and start to read it. Think about what in your life is not where you want it to be. Think about how changing that — how achieving what you want — will allow you to feel differently from how you feel today, what it will give you that you don't have in your life now.

Your WHY

Now, answer these questions for yourself:

Why are you here?What do you want from this journey?Why is it important? What is it going to give you that you don't have now?

Your answers don't need to be long, detailed, or poetic. They just need to represent why you want to feel and do differently than you are feeling and doing today. Note your Why on paper, your phone, or another device so you can refer back to it easily and often.

* * *

Moving On

When you have your Why, then continue.

If you don't have your Why, I want you to re-read the questions above, then put the book down and sleep on it. Literally. Figuratively.

If you cannot come up with a Why for this journey that resonates with you, then now may not be the time to begin it. At least not yet. Before you take that next step to create change, you want to be clear on why you want it and committed to taking action to achieve it.

Note that I didn't say how. You do not need to know how you will achieve what you want. We'll figure that out later. If you knew how, then you probably wouldn't be here. Don't worry about how yet. Just focus on Why.

If your Why continues to elude you (as it does for some of us because we so often silence our inner voice), remember and reflect on this truth I stated earlier:

We change when not changing becomes more uncomfortable than change itself.

Think about what "more uncomfortable" brought you to this page. Think about what for you has become more uncomfortable than change itself.

Find your Why, and when you do, I'll see you in the next chapter.

3

GIFTS TO GIVE YOURSELF

It’s not up to others to give you what you need.

It’s up to you.

You've identified your Why — your reason for starting this journey. We started there because if we don't know why we're doing something, it's unlikely that we'll keep doing it. Your Why is a critical starting point for this journey that you're on. There's something else that's critical, too. Or, rather, some things.

Have you ever been on a diet?

Most of us have been at one time or another. Weight is one of the top struggles we face. Along with being healthier and saving more money, losing weight tends to be one of the most common New Year’s resolutions each year. (The good news is that we will tackle all three in this program and more.)

If you’ve been on a diet, you probably remember well why you started it in the first place. You didn’t like your weight, and you wanted to change it. You didn’t feel good. You didn’t like how you looked. You dreaded getting dressed in the morning, avoiding as much as possible certain increasingly tighter-fitting clothes. Whatever the driver, you reached the point that you had to do something about how you felt ASAP.

What happened then?

You started a diet. You started it with anticipation and even a sense of relief. You felt excited and could already imagine the results. You were enthusiastic and motivated, spending money on your chosen course of action, buying that special food or equipment or some other required product or service. Maybe you rearranged your schedule or altered your plans to accommodate your diet. You implemented it with commitment and drive.

Then what?

You may have started to struggle. At some point in the diet journey, perhaps after a few weeks or even just a few days, your diet stopped feeling so exciting. You found yourself often thinking about what you couldn’t or shouldn’t eat. You may have felt hungry, deprived, or physically drained from eating fewer calories. Worse, you may have weighed yourself and didn’t see the results you wanted or as quickly as you wanted them and felt let down and frustrated.

What happened next?

Something. Something happened. A stressful day on the job, a fight with your partner, a birthday cake at work, a Super Bowl Sunday with friends, a weekend getaway, or some other event or reason. Any reason at all. You cheated (and it felt oh so good as you did, despite that voice inside your head telling you that you shouldn’t be doing what you were doing and you’d regret it). Still, you were committed to losing weight. You went back on your diet or started a different one.

Many people stay stuck right here.

Many people get caught in the endless loop of on-and-off dieting. They go on a diet, fall off it, and then get back on the same diet horse or a different one. Reaching the finish line of achieving their weight loss goal remains elusive.

Let’s say, though, that you were one of the people who stuck it out. You stuck to your diet, and you achieved your weight loss goal. The needle on the scale finally hit its mark, and you felt fantastic! You looked great, and your clothes fit well again or were even too big, and you bought new clothes to celebrate.

What happened next?

You went off your diet. Of course you did. You went off your diet because you had achieved your goal, and it was time to return to everyday life sans diet. So, that is what you did. Maybe you went back to it with a resolve to be more careful about your eating habits, but you went back to your life and lived it without the same rigid constraints of your diet.

Over time, though, the weight started to creep back on, one pound at a time. Maybe you ended up gaining only some of the weight back. Perhaps you ended up gaining back all of it. Maybe you ended up gaining back all of it and then some. This is where many people end up: Back where they began or worse.

What I have described above is what happens over time to the vast majority of us who go on a diet to lose weight. Even if we achieve our goal, we often do not maintain our results long-term. We eventually gain back the weight we lost or even more. That is one reason why the weight-loss industry is a multi-billion-dollar business.¹ That is why so many dieters are repeat dieters.¹ When we begin to diet, what we really do is start the seemingly endless diet-on-diet-off cycle. We may end up cycling on and off diets for the rest of our lives.

The bottom line is that if you had the experience above, the one that so many of us do, the diet did not help you long-term. It did not support you in achieving your goal of losing weight and maintaining that weight loss (after all, the point isn’t just to lose weight; it’s to keep the weight off). The diet did not help you achieve what you wanted: To feel better and stay feeling that way. Despite your efforts and the less-than-enjoyable process of dieting, at some point, you probably found yourself feeling the same or worse than you had when you started the diet.

So, why didn’t the diet work long-term?

It didn’t work long-term because a diet is a temporary fix. Most of us do not approach dieting with the belief that we're making a 'til-death-do-us-part commitment (although many of us often end up married to the vicious cycle of diet-on, diet-off for the bulk of our lives). We think of a diet as something that we will go on, get the results we want, and then go off. Post-diet, we typically slide back gradually into our original habits and behaviors that led us to go on a diet in the first place. We don’t change our lifestyle, habits, or patterns of behavior. We just put them on hold or adjust them for a limited time.

I do not want this program to be your next diet.

The diet was a temporary fix to relieve an uncomfortable situation. In this case, the uncomfortable situation was your weight. For some of you, it may not be your weight that you struggle with, but something else. You may recognize this type of cycle in another area of your life. Maybe you cycle in and out of attempts to exercise, save money, get a new career, or change a relationship. Whatever it is, the result remains elusive or doesn’t stick because nothing really changed. You didn't make lasting change, so the change didn't last.

This program is not your next diet. It is not your next attempt to bring about real change and transformation with temporary changes in your actions. It won’t work. It won’t work because the simple truth is that there is no rapid-loss diet, rich-overnight scheme, quick-fit workout, or another one-and-done fix that can get you to how you want to feel and keep you there. You can’t create lasting change without making change that lasts. You can’t create the transformation you crave in your life if you don’t transform what’s not working.

This program is a for-life fix. It is a journey to build a foundation that will support and sustain lasting transformation and continue to empower you for the rest of your life. In this program, you’ll make real change, feel a real change, and have the change stick. You’ll take steps of positive change and build upon them. You'll create a positive force in your life, a virtuous cycle that will feed cumulative, transformative, lasting results.

You can have that transformation. You can create lasting change that supports how you want to feel and live. You can build a foundation of well-being that supports all areas of your life for life. You can do it. You absolutely can. In this program, if you work the tools that work for you, you will do it. However, you will be doing it by evolving, step by step, your lifestyle, habits, and patterns of behavior.

* * *

THE GIFTS

To support that transformational process, I want you to give yourself the critical “some things” I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter. They are gifts to give yourself before we jump into the Assess portion of this journey.

We start with these gifts because the journey to real, lasting change is much more than planning and implementation. The journey to real transformation is much more than the changes you make on the outside. The journey to real change, real transformation, starts with the changes you make on the inside and will determine the outcome of everything you do.

To ensure that you start that journey on the most self-supporting step you can, I ask that you give yourself the following gifts:

1. The Gift of Prioritizing You

We start here because this is the most important and, many times, the most challenging step. That is because we often do not prioritize ourselves. It feels selfish to us. Especially as women and nurturers, we tend to prioritize taking care of others and other things before taking care of ourselves.