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- Herausgeber: tredition
- Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
- Sprache: Englisch
In **“The Worst Hiking Day Ever”**, what’s supposed to be a normal school hiking trip turns into the most ridiculous, rule-packed class adventure imaginable. It’s **Monday morning at 5:42 a.m.**—the kind of time when kids should be dreaming about chocolate croissants, not standing on a freezing schoolyard in the dark. But Milo is already wide awake (unfortunately), staring into the gray mist and realizing something is very, very wrong. New signs hang on the fence, glowing far too brightly for anyone’s comfort. The biggest one basically announces the mood of the day: **hiking isn’t fun—it’s a regulated activity**. And that’s when the real trouble begins. This “hiking day” isn’t run by teachers anymore. It’s being taken over by an official authority with a name that sounds like a joke—until you meet them: the **Office of Calm & Rules**. Their mission? To prove that nature isn’t a place for freedom, laughter, or spontaneous kid behavior. Nature has paths, paths have edges, and children—according to Inspector Order—must have discipline. Suddenly, the school trip feels less like an outing and more like a **test run for total control**. Milo and his classmates are each forced to wear a strange device on their wrist: a **Hiking Radar**. It’s supposedly “for safety,” but everyone quickly understands what it really does: it measures how far you drift from the approved route and warns you about “uncontrolled spontaneity.” Step too far left? BEEP. Step too far right? BEEP. Breathe too enthusiastically? It might beep too. The device seems to say: *I see you, Milo—and I don’t trust your breakfast hunger.* Then there’s Fina—super prepared, perfectly organized, and already holding official paperwork in a clear plastic folder like a tiny government employee. And Turbo… Turbo arrives like a rolling disaster. He’s packed like he’s heading into the wilderness for three months and somehow wears his massive backpack **the wrong way around**, making him an “official tripping hazard.” His Hiking Radar screams warnings about his “unnatural weight distribution,” and it’s clear: the rules of this day are not just strict—they’re **completely absurd**. To make it worse, Inspector Order introduces a stamped checklist system with symbols—trees, huts, buses, stars—and announces that only students who collect every stamp in the correct official order will “successfully complete” the hiking day. Miss a stamp? You’ll be forced to “hike again.” The kids are herded into perfect lines, checked like cargo, and even the bus feels wrong: gray, sealed, and waiting like a machine that only starts once the rules are satisfied. But just as the class is about to leave, something goes wrong. The bus driver refuses to move because of a “weight distribution problem,” and Milo notices the Hiking Radar needle spinning wildly. That’s the moment Milo realizes: this isn’t just the worst hiking day ever… **it’s the beginning of a mystery**—and possibly a disaster. **“The Worst Hiking Day Ever”** is a hilarious **children’s novel for ages 8 and up**, packed with fast-paced action, school humor, ridiculous rules, and unforgettable characters. Perfect for kids who love **funny books**, **school stories**, **class adventures**, and **teamwork**, this story delivers big laughs while quietly encouraging something important: **think for yourself, stick with your friends, and don’t let unfair rules take over your world.**
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Seitenzahl: 125
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2026
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The worst hiking day ever
The worst hiking day ever
The worst hiking day ever
Chapter 1 – The hiking day starts too early
Chapter 2 – Turbo has his rucksack on backwards
Chapter 3 – Fina receives a card with stamp fields
Chapter 4 – Milo says, "This isn't a field trip, it's a test!"
Chapter 5 – The Sign: "Checkpoint 1"
Chapter 6 – Inspector Order takes the lead
Chapter 7 – The bus leaves... without one thing
Chapter 8 – A wrong turn (of course)
Chapter 9 – Caretaker Kratz and the Emergency Kit
Chapter 10 – The Class is Divided
Chapter 11 – Operation Coming Together)
Chapter 12 – Turbo versus the Wandering Radar
Chapter 13 – Fina cracks the time card
Chapter 14 – A Secret Guide
Chapter 15 – Milo must decide
Chapter 16 – Chaos in the rain (but funny)
Chapter 17 – The Last Checkpoint
Chapter 18 – Hiking Day Saved
Chapter 19 – Return journey with a surprise
Chapter 20 – File number: Schoolyard 21 (Teaser)
Cover
Title Page
Table of Contents
The worst hiking day ever
Dominik Mikulaschek (born in Linz in 1983) writes children's books that you start reading "just one chapter" of – and suddenly it's late. He loves puzzles that can actually be solved, rules that can be politely ignored (if necessary) and stories in which friendship is stronger than any clipboard. His adventures are exciting, but never too scary: they're about discovery, about sticking together – and about that tingly feeling when you realise: something's not right here... and we're the first to notice.
Dominik Mikulaschek
The worst hiking day ever
Children's novel for ages 8 and up | Class adventures to make you laugh
tredition GmbH
© 2026 Dominik Mikulaschek
Printing and distribution on behalf of the author:
tredition GmbH, Heinz–Beusen–Stieg 5, 22926 Ahrensburg, Germany
This work, including all parts thereof, is protected by copyright. The author is responsible for the content. Any use without his consent is prohibited. Publication and distribution are carried out on behalf of the author, who can be reached at: Dominik Mikulaschek, Holzwurmweg 5, 4040 Linz, Austria.
Contact address in accordance with the EU Product Safety Regulation:
Chapter 1 – The hiking day starts too early
Milo Mertens was absolutely certain that the sun was still asleep. If the sun was still asleep, nine-year-old children should be doing the same. Instead, he was standing in the schoolyard of Regelberg Primary School, staring into the grey haze of a Monday morning that felt like an unwashed sock. It was exactly 5:42 a.m. Normally, that was the time when Milo was dreaming about defending a giant chocolate croissant against an army of homework robots. Today, however, the schoolyard didn't smell like dreams, but like wet, cold asphalt and the cheap vending machine coffee from caretaker Kratz. New signs hung everywhere on the metal fence, shining so brightly that Milo's eyes hurt. "HIKING IS NOT A PLEASURE, BUT A MOVEMENT ALLOCATION," read the largest poster. Below it was the seal of the ARR – the Office for Peace & Regulation. Milo sighed so deeply that his glasses fogged up. "Good morning, Milo," said a voice next to him that sounded far too awake. It was Fina. Fina Fuchs wore her hiking boots so neatly laced that they looked like two little soldiers standing at attention. In her hand she held a document enclosed in a transparent plastic sleeve. "You're late. Officially, we should have been at the North Yard sector at 5:40 a.m. for Type B attendance check." Milo blinked laboriously. "Fina, it's not even light out yet. Why does the hiking day have an operating system?" He pointed to the flashing display on Fina's wrist. It was the new hiking radar that every student had been strapped on when they entered the grounds that morning. It looked like a chunky wristwatch, but it only had a single button and a very nervous hand. "It's for our safety," Fina explained, smoothing a strand of hair. She looked as if she had already solved three maths worksheets to warm up. "It measures the deviation from the approved hiking trail. If you go too far to the left or right, it warns you against uncontrolled spontaneity." Milo stared at his own radar. It vibrated quietly, as if to say: I see you, Milo Mertens, and I don't trust your appetite for breakfast. Suddenly there was a dull thud from the school gate. CRASH. It sounded like a very large sack full of deposit bottles had collided with a tank. It was Turbo. Tarik "Turbo" Tan stumbled over the kerb and rolled across the asphalt like an overfilled ball. When he came to a stop, he just waved his hand briefly. "I'm... here..." Turbo gasped. Milo and Fina stepped closer. Turbo looked like a walking camping shop that had exploded. "Turbo," Milo said, squinting, "why is your rucksack in front of your stomach?" Turbo struggled to his feet. Sure enough, he was carrying his huge hiking rucksack the wrong way round. The straps cut deep into his shoulders, and the rucksack belly completely obscured his view of his own feet. "It's... aerodynamic," Turbo gasped, trying to straighten his helmet, which he had already put on as a precaution. "Besides, it makes it easier to get to my muesli bars. Every second counts in the wilderness." He wanted to take a step towards Milo, but his hiking radar immediately started beeping. It was a shrill, rude sound that sounded like an offended recorder. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. "Warning! Unnatural weight distribution in the upper body sector!" croaked a tinny voice from Turbo's wrist. Turbo froze in mid-motion. "I'm not deviating at all!" he cried indignantly. "I'm just correcting my gravity!" Fina shook her head and made a note on her time card. "When it's stamped, it's official, Turbo. But right now, you're just an official tripping hazard." At that moment, Inspector Ordnung stepped onto the small platform in front of the main entrance. He was wearing a beige hiking jacket with so many pockets that he probably had a separate compartment for every conceivable form. He held up a megaphone that glinted silver in the dawn light. Behind him stood Mrs Krambeutel, the class teacher. She looked a little pale and clung to a thermos flask , as if it were her only lifeline in a sea of bureaucracy. "ATTENTION!" Inspector Ordnung's voice boomed across the courtyard. Even the pigeons on the school roof jumped in fright and presumably flew into proper formation immediately. "Quiet in the sector! Today we are beginning the implementation of PROJECT WANDER-ORDNUNG. Nature is not a legal vacuum. Trees have roots, paths have edges, and students have discipline." Milo felt a tingling sensation in the back of his neck. He knew that tone of voice. This was no ordinary trip to the old oak trees on the outskirts of town. This was a test run. Inspector Ordnung wanted to know if he could extend his total control of the school to the forest. "This isn't a hiking day," Milo whispered to Fina, "it's a rule expedition. We're the guinea pigs in hiking boots." Mrs Krambeutel stepped forward and attempted a brave smile, but it looked more like she had just bitten into a very sour lemon. "Children," she called out, "hiking day is about community! We will enjoy the fresh air and... and watch the birds." Inspector Ordnung cleared his throat loudly into his megaphone. "Correction: we will catalogue the biological units in accordance with hiking protocol 4-B. Any spontaneous enthusiasm must be reported to the hiking radar." Caretaker Kratz appeared in the shadow of the school entrance. He was carrying a huge metal case with the words "EMERGENCY CASE – FOR EXTREME DEVIATIONS ONLY" written on it. Kratz looked as if he hadn't slept since 1984. He stared at Milo and muttered, "If you plan too strictly, you'll end up in the mud. Remember that, boys. You can't staple the forest." He tapped his suitcase, which rattled suspiciously with old iron chains and rubber boots. "Each student will now receive their official stamp card," announced Inspector Ordnung. "This card is the most important document of the day. It contains four symbols: 🌲 for the forest path, 🛖 for the hut, 🚌 for the bus and ⭐ for the office. Only those who collect all the stamps in the correct, officially certified order will have successfully completed the ' ' hiking day. Anyone who misses a stamp will automatically have to hike again." Fina took her card and reverently stroked the paper. "Look, Milo. The symbols are arranged in a grid. If you connect them logically, you get a pattern." She immediately pulled out her pencil. "Once it's stamped, it's official. I'll be the first to crack the pattern." Milo stared at his card. It looked more complicated than his last maths test. 🌲, 🛖, 🚌, ⭐. It felt like a secret code that could only be solved if you had first filled out a form for enlightenment. "Checkpoint 0: Attendance and equipment," shouted Inspector Order. He pointed to a line painted on the floor in white chalk. Right next to it was a sign: "CHECKPOINT: BREATHE – ONLY IN THE RHYTHM OF THE GROUP." Turbo was about to take a deep breath when his radar beeped again. BEEP-BEEP. "Warning! Excessive lung volume detected! Breathe according to DIN standard 102!" Turbo held his breath until his face turned the colour of a very ripe tomato. "I... can't... breathe DIN...," he squeezed out. Milo patted him on the back of his backpack, causing a metallic clang. "Calm down, Turbo. We can do this. We just have to pretend we're boring robots until we get to the forest." Milo looked at the large school gate behind which the bus was waiting. It was grey and had no windows that could be opened. On the side, in bold letters, was written: DEPARTMENT OF EXCURSIONS & DEVIATIONS. Milo knew that the worst field trip ever had just begun, and the sun still hadn't dared to rise. Just as the class was about to set off in a perfect double file, the bus driver stopped at the gate and stared at his list. He slowly shook his head and looked up at Inspector Ordnung. "Inspector?" he called in a voice that sounded like a rusty file. "We have a problem with the weight distribution. The bus won't leave until a very specific issue has been resolved." Milo exchanged a glance with Fina. "It's starting," he whispered. Mrs Krambeutel fiddled nervously with her scarf, wh , while Inspector Ordnung rushed towards the bus, his face red with anger, clutching his megaphone tightly. Something was wrong, and Milo had a bad feeling that it had something to do with the strange symbols on their stamp cards. The bus was waiting with its engine running, but no one was allowed to board. A cold gust of wind swept across the courtyard and almost blew Milo's stamp card out of his hand. He held on to it and saw the needle on his hiking radar suddenly spinning around like crazy. The journey into chaos had officially begun.
