Uwe E-Book

Muck Cihak

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 242

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Uwe was a man who loved life. The fast lane was the only option for his pace, and he liked to take his loved ones with him on his adventures. Many friends and acquaintances shared his successes and best hours with him. Through Facebook, he found the love of his life again, and nothing seemed impossible. But one day, fate suddenly intervened. A stroke changed everything. Silvia Cihak tells a very personal and touching story, describing the experiences after the stroke of fate and showing the challenges that suddenly shape life. How much can a person endure? How long can you fight? One day can change everything and suddenly questions shape your life that you would never have thought of before.

Leseprobe

foreword

I thought about it for a long time and struggled with myself. Should I write a book about our short lives?

Is it right?

It is also very private.

I had written down my thoughts and feelings every day since you became ill.

I've been writing since I was a child. I've always kept a diary of sorts. It's always helped me process everything I experienced in my childhood and as a teenager. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't done that.

It was a difficult childhood. Not a pleasant one. But I don't want to go into that here and now.

Now I had filled many pages. It helped me to deal better with special situations. You are alone a lot. You don't want to burden your own children all the time. And friends are probably struggling with the situation themselves. They have a lot to do with their own lives.

At least that's what I've experienced in my life, somehow managing life alone. Solving your own problems. Not asking others for help.

But I don't want to go into that any further. But maybe these are all reasons that make me write.

I told Uwe's sister, my closest friends and my children that I wanted to write a book about life with Uwe, that I had actually already written everything down. I just needed to write it all down.

I started almost a year ago. I went to Denmark and rented a small house. I needed a different environment, time and peace.

I wrote a lot during that time. But not everything. It wasn't easy. My emotions overwhelmed me and often prevented me from continuing to write.

At home I resolved to do that. I only partially succeeded. Work left me little time for it.

I only managed to write a few lines at most.

As the sixth anniversary of Uwe's death was approaching, I decided to go back to Denmark. I rented a house for a week again. At first I had a hard time getting myself to write. I was tired and pretty much ready for a vacation. So I slept a lot for the first two days and went for walks on the beach.

But when I got up in the morning on the third day, it was time. I wrote and wrote until I was finished.

It was the last chapter and the days leading up to the funeral. That wasn't easy for me. The memories were so fresh, as if it had happened only recently. Not six years ago.

How the time flies.

I was also wondering whether I should write a foreword.

What do you write there?

I read a lot, always have, so a foreword is of course not foreign to me.

So I wrote a foreword …

It was important to me not only to write down my thoughts and feelings. It is also important to me to share my experiences with readers who have been or are in similar situations. Maybe someone will recognize themselves?

Since then, I have been thinking about how we can better help younger people with disabilities/impairments. How we can give families better help. Less bureaucratic. Since then, I have also been trying to find ways to provide more humane facilities for these people. People with disabilities who are still too young to end their lives in a care facility, more or less badly.

A facility that does justice to these people. Why not apartments that are accessible to disabled people, where they can live alone and independently. That meet their needs. They are supported accordingly. In a way that is age-appropriate and appropriate to their current condition.

I don't want to be unfair. Of course I know that there are good facilities. That there are great nurses who do everything they can to give these sick people a life worth living. We all know that our system doesn't always guarantee that.

Affected families also urgently need more help. The entire family is in a state of emergency and has to take care of everything. That cannot and should not be the case. At least it should be easier.

Since I come from an educational background, I knew where I could get help. Which paths I had to take, where I could get financial help, and so on. It's a difficult topic. Because I earn a good salary and am self-employed, I was able to make a lot of things possible. Other families might not be able to. That shouldn't be the case.

We urgently need much more information and help.

I will continue working on that, I promise.

This book is certainly very emotional and not always easy to read.

I would be happy to talk to you.

I can't wish you much fun, but perhaps inspiration, help and a feeling of understanding for everyone who is or has been in a similar situation.

I would also be happy to receive feedback.

Chapter 1

Uwe

I checked Facebook again, as I often do.

I saw a car that immediately reminded me of my childhood. A warm feeling came over me and my grandpa and grandma were immediately present. The time spent with my grandparents was a wonderful time. I mention that because the time spent with my parents was the complete opposite. But that's just a side note.

The car was orange and had a white roof. An Audi 1000 S.

The man next to me was also interesting. I wrote to him. He answered me quickly. We wrote for a long time and then we even spoke on the phone. That was on Wednesday evening.

We agreed to meet on Friday. It all happened very quickly, but it felt right.

Friday was the day. I told my girlfriend about this man with this great car. She was surprised that I had agreed to meet him so quickly. Me too...

At that time, we went to the music garden bar on the Elbe almost every Friday. I loved the atmosphere there. Even today.

We were friends and acquaintances and were in a great mood. Then the moment came. I saw the car. Other guests saw it too. This car attracted attention. I was happy, but it was a little uncomfortable.

A good-looking man got out. It really was him, just like the picture on Facebook.

He came towards us with a large, colorful bouquet of flowers. His hair was blowing. He reminded me of an 80s pop star. It took a bit of getting used to. I greeted him and he sat down next to us straight away. All the guests were looking at us. I wanted to sink into the ground. My girlfriend noticed this and I got a kick under the table.

I was wondering if I liked him or if I was just interested in the car.

He was soon in the middle of our group, laughing and we were all chatting animatedly. At some point he asked me if we could go for a walk. I was kicked under the table again. "Okay," I said and we left. We sat down on a nearby bench and chatted. We didn't notice how time passed. At some point it got light and the sun came up. I looked around and was surprised that no one was there anymore. Not even my friends. We were so busy with ourselves that we didn't notice that it was already 5 a.m.

Uwe, that was his name, said that he had to leave urgently because he had to open his shop. Uwe had a bicycle shop in Mölln. Which was an understatement, as I later found out and saw.

Since we were going almost the same way, we set off together, each in his own car. I looked closely at the car and was still totally amazed. Almost like a toy car.

When we got home, Uwe stopped and said a coffee would be great. No sooner said than done. We drank coffee. But Uwe really had to go now. We said goodbye. A truly magical moment. Can that be true? Can you really fall in love that quickly? Love at first sight? I never believed it.

I had so much adrenaline in me. I couldn't sleep. I then called my neighbor, who was also a dear friend and advisor. We've been through a lot together.

She was curious and came over to me in the afternoon. We drank coffee and some champagne. We were in a cheerful and fun mood.

Suddenly a motorcycle came onto the property. A man with Birkenstock sandals and no socks, but a helmet. He got off, it was Uwe. He greeted us and walked past us. I was surprised and confused. "Where are you going?" I asked. "I'm going to the kitchen and cook!?"

We looked at each other and laughed. My neighbor went home laughing and wished us a lot of fun.

Uwe actually made a meal in my kitchen. It was a really delicious salad with everything you can imagine. I couldn't remember if and when a man had made that for me. I was surprised and totally overwhelmed.

We enjoyed the salad, …

Uwe stayed overnight with me for the first time. Yes, it was quick, very quick, but absolutely right. Everything felt completely right.

Okay, the Birkenstock sandals took some getting used to, very …

I later learned that these sandals were as much a part of Uwe as salt in soup. I experienced many more moments like that throughout the whole time. Uwe was an individual man. On the one hand, warm, cordial and emotional. On the other hand, a businessman. A man. A doer, a craftsman, a biker.

It was the whole package that made the difference.

We spoke on the phone every day, wrote to each other on Facebook and saw each other whenever we could. Since we were both self-employed, that wasn't always easy. But it was important to both of us that we had our time. We both had a lot to do professionally, but we also had many friendships in our private lives that we maintained.

Yes, and then the time had come. Uwe was a doer, I could really tell.

Uwe came with a large bag with his personal belongings. He cleared one side of the cupboard and said that was now his drawer. It continued like that every day. Two weeks later he brought furniture with him. Uwe had moved in.

Now don't think that he had to do that. No, Uwe had two houses and was financially independent. I wasn't used to that either. Because when I met men, I was always the one who helped them out.

We now moved and cleared out. We now lived together. We lived together very intensively.

I quickly got to know his family and friends. We went to flea markets together, which was our hobby. We traveled to Mannheim for the DKW classic car meeting. We took part in a rally there and even won. We also went to Rügen for the DKW classic car meeting. I had never been to Rügen before and fell in love with the island.

We went to the parts market in Mannheim and then to Croatia. We had an unforgettable vacation.

We lived life in the fast lane. I experienced a completely new life, met new people and friends.

We loved each other. Yes, we also argued. We are both strong characters. But I was grateful every single day and loved this man. That was the best time of my life. After my beloved children, of course.

I could write so much more about this time, but this book has a completely different background. I thought about writing about it for a long time. Is it okay to write about this topic?

Today, Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Today was a special day for us. Another highlight for both of us. We wanted to look at and buy a Harley-Davidson today. Uwe had already done some research beforehand and we both thought this Harley was great.

Last night Uwe called me around 11 p.m. As always on Tuesdays, he was at Brink's, his men's night with his closest friends. Then Uwe never came home and slept in his camper van at the nearby campsite in Mölln.

Uwe also said please be on time tomorrow. He knew why he was reminding me. Unfortunately, I wasn't always on time.

We wished each other good night. Those were the last words I heard from Uwe, if only I had foreseen that...

I stayed at home so that I would be on time and we could leave quickly. Uwe always closed his shop on Wednesdays at 1 p.m. at the latest, so he had to be with us at around 1:30 p.m.

But Uwe didn't come. Uwe and not on time? But hey, it can happen. It was 2 p.m., 2:30 p.m. Now I was worried. I couldn't reach Uwe either. Not even in the shop.

I thought maybe his car had broken down.

I set off to meet Uwe. Maybe I would see him and be able to help.

But Uwe was nowhere to be seen the whole way. I was getting more and more restless and my stomach was cramping. I drove into the shop. But everything was dark. The mailbox hadn't been emptied and there were packages in front of the door. Uwe wasn't in the shop.

Where was he?

I drove to the campsite. I immediately saw his bus in the parking lot. But there was no sign of Uwe.

I went to the camper van. It was locked. I asked the neighbor if he had seen Uwe. But he said no. I thought I heard something, a noise in the van. I kept calling out: "Uwe, please open up!" But nothing happened. We tried to open the door or somehow get into the camper van. In vain...

I called Lars and told him about the situation. Lars smiled and said: "Oh, don't worry, he's probably out somewhere." I told Lars about what we were planning to do today. Lars also started to think. He had already finished work and was quickly with me.

Lars was able to break open the window and climbed into the trailer.

All I heard was Lars calling "Papa" over and over again. So Uwe was in the car, but something terrible must have happened.

Lars shouted that I should call an ambulance immediately. I saw Uwe lying on the ground. A terrible sight that I will never forget.

The ambulance arrived quickly. An emergency doctor was also there quickly. Lars and I waited in front of the camper van and smoked a cigarette. It took so unbearably long.

I cried and Lars was also completely confused. Of course...

At some point they said they were taking Uwe to the University Hospital in Lübeck.

We are supposed to get some private things for Uwe, take our time and then come to the clinic.

I drove home. Like a robot, remote controlled. What had happened? I walked quickly with Barni, our dog. Packed some things for Uwe. Called Sabine, Uwe's sister. Drove to Lübeck as quickly as possible.

Mirco, who I also informed, called Marvin, who was studying in Lübeck. Marvin was already in the clinic when I arrived. I was so happy not to be alone. I was grateful.

When we arrived at the intensive care unit, Uwe's children, Lars and Carina, were already there. Also Uwe's wife and Sabine.

We waited and were all in a state of emergency. We didn't talk much. We were all shocked. All we knew was that Uwe was in the operating room. We had no choice but to wait.

After an infinitely long time, a doctor came to us. He explained to us what had happened. Uwe had had a stroke. Because Uwe had apparently been lying undiscovered in the camper van for a long time, no one could help Uwe quickly enough. Which is very important in the case of a stroke.

Uwe had bleeding in his head. These were removed. Now we have to wait and see. But his condition was very critical and we had to expect anything.

We were allowed to see Uwe individually, only briefly.

The sight was so terrible. Cables, monitors, beeping everywhere. Uwe was barely recognizable.

We were all shocked and desperate. But there are actually no words for this situation.

We cried and said goodbye to Uwe. We had to go. We drove home.

So many questions in my head. Pure despair...

What happens next? Will I see Uwe alive again?

I was full of hope. Uwe is a fighter, he will make it...

Chapter 2

The day after …

Yes, the day after. I had a sleepless night. I don't let my cell phone out of my hand. Always by my side. I don't want to miss a call from the hospital under any circumstances. Time doesn't pass at all. When is the night over, when can I finally go to Uwe's hospital? I inform my colleagues. I will be out for a longer period of time. But I am also available to everyone by phone if necessary.

My employees are dismayed. They all know Uwe and value him very much. They assure me that I shouldn't worry. They'll get everything done. They're behind me, behind Uwe, and wish us all the best.

I call the hospital. Uwe had a difficult night. I'm not allowed to come until 3 p.m. They can't give me any more information over the phone.

I went for a long walk with my dog Barni. Poor guy. I don't have much time for him right now. I think Barni also notices that something is different.

I called all of his friends that I know and whose number I have. Please pass it on to anyone I can't reach. And since Uwe has a lot of friends, I'm busy. It's very exhausting and very emotional.

I noticed that my strength was waning. My head was so empty. A thousand thoughts, worries, questions, fears. What will happen next?

Peter, Uwe's employee, looked after Uwe's shop. But he couldn't do everything. But he could at least make sure that the repairs were done. The packages were accepted and sent. A notice on the shop door that we would only have limited operations for an indefinite period of time.

Uwe's wife came into the store. But more about that later.

I couldn't take it anymore and finally drove off to Uwe's. I had to go to Uke in Lübeck. Almost an hour away from me.

The journey there was - hmm, I don't remember. Everything was like a bad dream. I didn't worry about whether I would arrive safely. I just functioned.

I was finally allowed to see you. I was told that you were stable. But it didn't look like that at all. The sight was so frightening. There was beeping everywhere. Tubes everywhere, machines that I had never seen before. You were on a ventilator. Even though you were stable, I was told very seriously and honestly that your life was in danger. That at the moment no one can say whether you will survive and if so, how...

Are the doctors really saying that to me?

No, that can't be true. Uwe is a strong man with a lot of willpower. We love each other and we are planning a future together. No, that can't be. I'm sure Uwe can do it. I will do everything in my power to make that happen.

I was allowed to stay with Uwe. I held his hand. I stroked him. I talked and talked with Uwe. I prayed, yes, I prayed.

The hours went by. I just couldn't leave. I was afraid that I wouldn't see you alive. That there wouldn't be enough to do for Uwe. There were always doctors and nurses in your room. They were all so nice to me. They told me about everything they were doing for Uwe. They brought me coffee.

Sabine, Uwe's sister, was by my side and Uwe's side almost the whole day. That helped us a bit.

We discussed what we could do. What will happen to the shop? Uwe had only reopened this shop in January.

So much depended on it. Two houses had to be financed. The shop had to continue running. His daughter was still in school and wanted to go to university. Child support had to be paid. Delivered and ordered goods had to be paid for.

We decided that the store must be reopened. That is the only way. And it would be important to Uwe and in his interest.

We took a few days to do it. On Saturdays, Sabine and Lars, Uwe's son, ran the shop. They both knew their way around. I, on the other hand, knew nothing. I was clueless. But Peter, Sabine and Lars took care of the bare essentials first.

Uwe bought and sold a lot on eBay. Uwe specialized in Bosch parts for cars and motorcycles, among other things. He had acquired a great deal of knowledge and was very well known for it.

I was with Uwe every day from morning to night. He had a lot of visitors. But only one other person was allowed to visit Uwe at a time.

I took the time to drink a coffee. I also had to go home every now and then. Barni was still there. I felt sorry for Barni. He was alone a lot now. Sometimes neighbors took Barni for a walk. When I was at home, I spent as much time as possible with Barni. He always slept next to Uwe's bed.

At home I brooded, cried, was often at a loss, at the end of my strength. What a nightmare. It was impossible to sleep. My cell phone was always by my side.

Your condition did not change.

The third day

Today is Friday and the doctors may have wanted to wake you up.

I was so happy. I came to you full of expectations. Unfortunately, no good news!

They tried to wake you up, but your brain pressure immediately rose. Your circulation wasn't working. Your body didn't want to. You weren't ready yet.

They quickly put you back under a deeper anesthetic. You had pneumonia because you had been lying there for so long. The doctors wanted to wait a few days and then try to wake you up again. Everyone was very concerned about you. You were lucky to have so many great doctors and nurses. If you can call that lucky. Everyone kept us constantly updated.

Sabine and I thought about how we would tell Uwe's mother. She is no longer the youngest. She has already had many blows of fate behind her. How will she take this? We had a difficult task ahead of us.

We went to her on Friday. She must have suspected something and immediately asked us: "What happened?" She told us that she had dreamed about you last night when you were a child. My God, how terrible...

She took it calmly, but didn't want to come to you until you were awake. We could understand that and were actually relieved, because the sight of her now would break her heart.

The third day after that was another bad day.

In the evening at home I called his closest friends. I told him about the day and his condition. I was so happy to have such great friends. They were all there at all times. They promised me that they would always help, no matter when or what.

The fourth day

Saturday …

I drove back to you. Sabine picked me up. I was glad about that because my strength was waning.

A thousand thoughts, hopes. We both cried a lot. Sabine is a very emotional person, just like me. But we both supported each other and that made us stronger.

When you arrived at the hospital, the more bad news. You had pneumonia. It was getting worse. Your fever was rising. That wasn't good. Your other condition was critical too.

They had put a new cannula in your head during the night so that they could better control the pressure and, if possible, avoid having to do any more operations on your head.

With a heavy heart I said goodbye to you that evening.

I'm somehow in a daze. I often don't know how I'm getting home or how I got there. Today, however, Sabine is driving us.

Marvin was waiting at my house. I could talk and Marvin listened patiently. We spent the evening together. Marvin never left my side.

If only I could sleep...

Sunday

Today your mom wanted to come with you.

We hope she can do it.

Of course, you could tell that she was very excited and agitated.

She cried quietly, yes quietly. She held your hand and was very brave. Sabine and I cried too. We weren't brave at the time. But I've cried so much in the last few days. I think that helps you to bear everything somehow. Do you always have to be strong? I don't think so. I want to be strong, but I can't.

After a few minutes, your mom couldn't take it anymore and wanted to leave. Sabine went to have a coffee with her. Did she say goodbye to Uwe?

I had a little time alone with you. Although we were never really alone. There was always a nurse and/or doctor with you. And that was good. Very reassuring. What would we do without these wonderful people? We simply don't appreciate this work enough. THANK YOU to all the doctors, nurses and carers.

It's always terrible at home in the evening. A thousand thoughts plague me over and over again.

Hope, pray ...

A new week

I hope for a better week and drive to Uwe in the hospital full of hope. Still in intensive care.

I was allowed to come to you straight away. It's not often like that and I have to wait in the waiting room. I didn't have a good feeling right away.

The disillusionment came quickly. The doctor asked me to come to you.

Your condition is very critical. It got worse during the night. We have to expect ANYTHING.

I felt sick. My legs gave out, everything was spinning. This couldn't be true. NO...

The doctor then told you that your condition had worsened dramatically. Uwe's fever could not be reduced. It rose steadily, despite antibiotic treatment. The antibiotics did not work. You now also had severe pneumonia. Your lung function was almost non-existent. Blood poisoning (sepsis) had spread throughout your body. Multiple organ failure is imminent!

I wasn't really listening anymore.

I stayed with you as long as I was allowed. I got a room near you. I didn't have the strength to drive anymore. I had Barni in a good place to stay.

Manfred, a friend of Uwe's, came to visit you. You could see that he was very shocked. "That I will see Honki," that was Uwe's nickname, "like this!"

“I have known Uwe for 30 years.”

Later, Lars, Carina and Christiane, Uwe's wife, came too. But they had been living apart for a long time and the divorce had been filed.

Carina couldn't stand it for long. She left, completely tearful and exhausted. We could all understand that. The sight of her beloved father was also hard to bear.

We all went into the waiting room and talked for a long time. We all had a lot of questions. What happens next? Can things continue? Fears were clearly palpable.

Another good friend, Rüdiger, also came along. When he left Uwe, you could see how deeply sad he was.

We discussed again what should happen to the shop? I didn't care about any of that at the moment. I just wanted you to wake up. But of course we have to think about that too.

Your shop – your life …

Even today I couldn't let go of you. It was just too hard. I kept thinking: "Is this the last time I'll see you alive?"

What is tomorrow?

All exhausted and full of tears, alone in the hotel room. No, that won't work either. I'm going home tomorrow. My son, Marvin, is coming to stay with me. That's a good thing. Marvin can look after Barni. He takes a lot of the work off my hands. He cooks for us every day. He's there and listens to me.

Tuesday, February 17th

Didn't sleep again. I'm going to the doctor...

I tell him what has happened in the last few days. He was very worried about me and actually wanted me to be admitted to the hospital too. Of course, I refuse, shocked. That's not possible. I have to take care of you. So many things...

Again I come to you with fear. What is today?

The fever and pneumonia are still not under control. Your body is now being cooled from the inside with the help of coolant. A cooling blanket is on you and a huge "hairdryer" cools you down additionally. This seems to help, because your fever is slowly going down. But unfortunately the medication is not working. It sucks litres of mucus out of your lungs several times a day.

The doctor makes it clear to me once again how critical your condition is.

I can't believe it. There has to be something that can help.