Wireless E-Book

Jack O'Connell

• Herausgeber: No Exit Press
• Kategorie: Krimi
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Seitenzahl: 612

Beschreibung

The scene is Quinsigamond, a decaying New England factory town, a model locale of turn-of-the-century chaos. An activist priest meets a grisly death in his own cathedral. The crime has all the hallmarks of a routine Bangkok Park gang killing. But the perp is no everyday low-life but a demented ex-FBI agent named Speer in search of the jammers, particularly the infamous O'Zebedee brothers who have been hijacking local radio airwaves with their singular brand of subversive diatribe. Detective Hannah Shaw, Bangkok Park's undisputed overseer, tracks Speer's enraged quest to Wireless, the funky retro-radio nightclub and epicentre of the diverse jammer subculture. Shaw and/or the Wireless crew must stop the defrocked Fed or fall prey to a campaign of censorship, violence and death.

Leseprobe

WIRELESS

The scene is Quinsigamond, a decaying New England factory town, a model locale of turn-of-the-century chaos. An activist priest meets a grisly death in his own cathedral. The crime has all the hallmarks of a routine Bangok Park gang killing. But the perp is no everyday low-life but a demented ex-FBI agent named Speer in search of the jammers, particularly the infamous O’Zebedee brothers who have been hijacking local radio airwaves with their singular brand of subversive diatribe.

Detective Hannah Shaw, Bangok Park’s undisputed overseer, tracks Speer’s enraged quest to Wireless, the funky retro-radio nightclub and epicentre of the diverse jammer subculture. Shaw and/or the Wireless crew must stop the defrocked Fed or fall prey to a campaign of censorship, violence and death.

About the Author

Jack O’Connellis the author of five critically acclaimed novels, which have earned him something of a cult status. He won the ($50,000) 1990 Mysterious Press Discovery Contest for the Best First Crime Novel forBox Nine, which launched his career. This and his other novelsWireless,The Skin Palace,Word Made FleshandThe Resurrectionistare all published by No Exit Press. His work has been praised by James Ellroy, Nail Gaiman, Katherine Dunn, George Pelecanos and Jonathan Carroll, among others. He lives in Worcester, Massachusetts, with his wife and two children.

Praise for Jack O’Connell

‘Hyper-real noir. A grotesque romance about genocide, language, bibliomania, doubt, obsession, worms, epidermis and sanctuary!’ –James Ellroy

‘The most electrifying debut crime novel you are likely to read all year’ –GQ

‘A feast of unsettling pleasures’ –Independent

‘A surrealistic noir epic that’s part David Lynch and part Bret Easton Ellis’ –Booklist

‘has a kind of hallucinatory fascination...amazing in its density, power, richness of detail, humour and irony...a dazzling piece of work. One of the year’s 10 best!’ –L ATimes

‘Mesmerizing... light-years away from your garden-variety thriller. The Skin Palace may remind you of Blade Runner or the novels of William Gibson, but O’Connell has his own dazzling tale to tell... Wickedly clever’ –Seattle Times

‘It’s a measure of O’Connell’s immense talent that, while creating his absolutely original and hyperbolic world, he also paints a striking vision of the haunting ways in which life and art mirror each other’ –Publishers Weekly

‘It’s a helter-skelter, a roller-coaster, a ride on a ghost train – if the fairground had been designed by Philip K Dick, Stan Lee and Edgar Allan Poe’ –Independent on Sunday

‘No one does the improbable like O’Connell’ –Guardian

‘Jack O’Connell has riffed on language, fire-cleansed genre conventions, and stripped the artifice from the modern noir novel, creating a body of work both exciting and entirely original’–George Pelecanos

‘A masterpiece, O’Connell’s tour de force has a dose of the uncertainty of Kafka, the fantasy of Bradbury, the crisp prose of Greene, and the noir of Chandler’ –Strand Magazine

‘brilliant writing, original concepts, emotional resonance’ –Washington Post

‘A brilliantly tuned, mesmerizing labyrinth of a quasi-real world as only a master artist could draw it’–James Ellroy

Novels by Jack O’Connell

Box Nine

Wireless

The Skin Palace

Word Made Flesh

The Resurrectionist

For my mother

&

in memory of my father

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author is indebted to the following works and wishes to express his gratitude to the authors: Border Radio, by Gene Fowler and Bill Crawford; Radio: A Blast from the Past, by H. G. Wolff and I. Jacobson; 1991 Passport to World Band Radio; Cambodia: A Book for People Who Find Television Too Slow, by Brian Fawcett; Big Secrets, by William Poundstone; Worcester’s Best, edited by Elliott B. Knowlton; Monitoring Times magazine; and, especially, the JamCon ’84 cassette by Negativland.

I am down on my knees at those wireless knobs.

—Van Morrison

PART ONE

Friday

1

A good number of the old churches in Quinsigamond have found other uses. These big, dark houses of God have been turned into nightclubs and restaurants, a museum, a weight training salon, and these weird, upscale condos for the city’s nouveau riche Europhiles.

There was a big fad that peaked maybe five years back. Developers were grabbing the churches on the point of absolute decay, abandoned monsters whose parishioners had died out or moved on. For a while, every hustler with a real estate license was trying to find a way to target St. Brendan’s, Quinsigamond’s only cathedral. But the diocese held out, the bishop refused all offers. St. Brendan’s was still a legitimate parish, even if the bulk of its worshipers were outpatients from Toth Care Facility, tethered to their pews by a pocketful of lithium.

Now the market’s gone bad and more than one builder has filed Chapter 11. St. Brendan’s looks like it’s outlasted another trend. Speer sits in his car in the church lot and stares up at the structure. How could they want to desecrate such a thing?

To Speer, the cathedral is an architectural miracle with only one function—the singular glorification of the one true God. Whoever drafted the plans had to have been divinely inspired. This is the only explanation that makes sense, that offers a justification for the majesty that springs up from a common gravelly lot in the heart of downtown.

The church is almost a hundred and fifty years old, a monument to the tenacity of gray granite. It’s a traditional nave-and-transept setup, but its centerpiece is a square tower that rises up in stages of arched windows and concludes with castlelike buttresses at each corner. The tower gives the cathedral the look of a fortress, a bastion of strength that could hold off a lifetime of heresy.

Speer instinctively senses, but has no respect for, the irony of what’s happened to this church; the fact that this living artwork and testament to the possibilities of a honed Christian mind should become the stamping ground for the refuse of society. It sickens him these days when he watches the kinds of people who climb the granite stairs to make a visit. There are the dozens of street folk, the deinstitutionalized peasants who live in the alleys and cellar holes off Main Street. There are the drunks and addicts who fixate on some childhood, addlebrained idea of Christ. There are the last remnants of the old neighborhood, the elderly who never moved on and now haunt the cathedral with their walkers and canes. And there are the rapidly growing clans of immigrants, the majority illegal. Speer calls these people the mutants. He thinks they’re the product of some awful recessive gene that condemned certain countries to a continual backwardness. They are the bottom of the DNA barrel, but nature has seen fit to give them wild breeding abilities, and so they explode beyond their natural boundaries. Every time some petty despot seizes their homeland, they run to America to live the parasite’s dream.

They are Hispanic and Indian and, more and more often, any one of a variety of the Asian tribes—Laotian, Vietnamese, a slew of Cambodians. The federal and state governments help them buy the dilapidated tenements packed into the center of town, and then literally dozens move in, five to a bedroom, people sleeping on tables. They bring the aunts, the uncles, the cousins and in-laws over on the next freighter. They raise chickens in the kitchen cabinets and practice unspeakable religious rites on the back porch.

Except for the converts, the ones Father Todorov has gone to great pains to win over. This is what you want as the future of Catholicism, Speer thinks, and bites down on his back teeth. He finds the name Todorov particularly suspect. It sounds Russian and they’ve got their own very insular rite—Russian Orthodox, out of old Constantinople. Speer has read a book on the history of schism in the church. Splinters from the Rock, by an ex-Jesuit named Bloom. He couldn’t get a handle on where the author’s heart lay. But he does know that the modern toleration of heretical thought could be the end of the only true route to God.

There was Todorov just last week allowing a Lutheran minister onto the St. Brendan’s altar to read the gospel. A show of ecumenism. A display of understanding. And a two-column photo in the religion section of the Spy. Todorov has been pulling down more than his share of press lately. Last summer, when no one was looking and half the chancery was playing golf on Cape Cod, the good father starts up his own radio hour on QSG. The Word Made Flesh. His initial broadcast was exactly what Speer expected, an apologia for Liberation Theology and Marxist Clerics. But grudgingly, Speer had to acknowledge the man had classic radio skills, a natural heir to Fulton Sheen, not a trace of an accent, never a stammer or cough, and always building to commercial-time climaxes.

And now Fr. T’s latest crusade is the city’s mounting gang problem. He explained it on last week’s show as a “natural outgrowth of a morally reprehensible foreign policy.” Speer was glued to the radio, both disgusted and fascinated by the bizarre progression of the priest’s logic, his proposition that American support for “genocidal tyrants around the world” has “bred a violent mind-set” among the “global peasantry, the fellaheen.” The peasants seek sanctuary in our urban cesspools and “bind into the only form of security they’ve been allowed to know—the gang system, the tribal rite.”

Speer wonders—where did this guy learn to talk this way?

So now the priest tries to play big brother to the dozens of immigrant packs attempting to carve out a block or two for themselves in their new home. One day he’s down bringing donated food to the Haitian Tonton Loas. The next, it’s government cheese to the Castlebar Road Boys, drug-running IRA punks. In the meantime, all this street trash with their coded tattoos and colors are muling skag and doing drive-by clubhouse hits.

Speer thinks that throughout human history, more damage has been done by misguided men than by those with consciously heinous intent. He thinks that maybe the worst sin of all is the sin of confusion. He thinks that on their first day in the seminary, all novitiates should have a quote branded onto their chests, backward, like the ignorant cattle they are. Then each morning they could rise and look in the mirror and read the words that lie on the skin above their heart: I would not even believe in the Gospels were the Holy Church to forbid it—Francis Xavier.

Todorov clearly doesn’t see the danger of his actions. He views himself as a man with a mission, maybe a destiny to fulfill. The horror is that he’s giving these heathen scum some degree of credibility, making the public see them as a genuine collective, an organized force to be dealt with rather than a minor, excisable exception to the rules of order and progress.

Speer knows the gang boys in ways Fr. Todorov never will. He knows them as aberrations, throwbacks to the pack mind of wild dogs, dim-witted, overstimulated, unsure of what they need or want and striking wildly at whatever comes their way.

This is the kind of vile scum Todorov wants to bring into the Church.

To save.

Speer wants to place firm hands on the priest’s shoulders and explain slowly, “There is nothing to save. This is basic theology. Look at the faces. Look at the features. Animals. Beasts of the earth. And as such, they have no souls.”

Speer puts his hand in his coat pocket, touches the canister, finds two loose Excedrin, pulls them out, and puts them in his mouth. The headache is probably too far gone now, but he dry-swallows the caplets anyway.

Todorov isn’t a stupid man. Why can’t he see the simple fact that following the fringe, following after the aberration, will always lead down a blind alley? The only explanation for the priest’s actions is the sin of vanity, the vice of raging ego. Pride will always make the brain lie to the soul. Todorov wants to be a shepherd so badly he’s tending to a flock of serpents.

Speer looks up and sees fewer people exiting the cathedral. He glances to his watch and sees confessions are just about over, so he gets out of the car, crosses the street, and enters through the enormous, castlelike front doors.

He stands in the doorway for a moment and lets his eyes adjust to the dimness. He moves to a small table set next to the St. Vincent de Paul Society collection boxes and picks up a mimeographed flier. It takes him a second to realize it’s written in Spanish.

He walks through a second set of double swinging doors into the main body of the cathedral. He slides into the last pew, kneels, folds his hands in prayer, and starts to take inventory. To his left is an elderly couple kneeling in a pew next to the confessional booth. And far to the front, up at the altar, is a large-bodied nun in a reformed habit, folding fresh white linen cloths. Speer scans the whole scene again.

He grew up in churches like this one. Smaller versions, but always built of heavy stone, like the cathedral, always ornate rather than quaint, with long aisles and cold, shadowy choir lofts, and a dark, smoky tinge to the walls where the heating system would push dust and grime upward year after year. Places where every word echoed and threatened to end up unintelligible.

Speer grew up dreaming of overseeing a place like this, four or five curates under his domain, maybe a crowded school staffed by classic disciplinarian nuns, enormous May Processions spilling out into the streets, and local politicians sniffing around each year for a vague endorsement. Three months in the seminary severed any hopes of fulfilling that dream. He found the core dogma of the institution had been subverted. And he knew that once that happens, the cancers of compromise and rationalization spread like an unbroken line of oil fires down the landscape.

Speer left the seminary and signed on with the FBI.

The nun on the altar folds and smooths her last piece of linen and exits into the sacristy. A few moments later the older couple finish praying their penance simultaneously, slide out of the pew, and leave. And Speer is alone with the priest.

There’s the sound of a cough and then Todorov appears from the sacristy, a set of keys in his hand, ready to lock up the church now that all the Masses are done.

Speer gives a hesitant voice and says, “Are you leaving, Father?”

Todorov squints down toward the rear of the church, then smiles and says, “Can I help you with something?”

He starts down the aisle toward Speer, and Speer moves his head around sheepishly and motions with one hand toward the confessional booth.

The priest pauses. “Do you want to . . .” He trails off and mimics the motion with his keys.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Speer says.

“Not at all.”

Speer waits and allows the priest to enter the box, then moves out of his pew, steps in the adjoining booth, and pulls the heavy curtain closed behind him. He goes down on the cushioned kneeler, waits a beat, and then hears that old sound, that childhood sound of the miniature door, the sliding panel being pushed open to reveal the shadowed face of the priest, in profile, his ear turned to the penitent, obscured behind a heavy mesh.

The sound and the sight take Speer back for a moment, catch him off guard.

Fr. Todorov says, “Go ahead, my brother.”

And Speer instinctively begins speaking in a low, rote voice. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been—”

Another pause and then an improvisation. “—an awfully long time since my last confession and these are my sins.”

He stops. Todorov gives him a good ten seconds, then says, “It’s all right, son. Remember why we’re here. God has infinite forgiveness.”

“You truly believe that, Father?”

Speer can almost see the priest smile on the other side of the mesh. “With all my heart, my friend. That’s the root of all my faith.”

“But you’ve made a very broad statement, Father.”

“How is that?”

“What I mean is, is forgiveness the same as redemption?”

“I’m not sure I’m—”

“I’m speaking about the unconverted, Father. I’m talking about those outside the Faith. I’m asking you, can they be redeemed?”

“Are you trying to tell me you’re not Catholic? Is that—”

“Excuse me, Father, but, in this day and age, what would you mean by Catholic?”

Now Todorov pauses, backs away from the confessional screen, seems to put a hand up to his face.

“Well, very simply, were you ever baptized in the Catholic Church?”

“Is that necessary, Father?”

“Necessary? I’m not sure . . . I’m not sure we’re on the same track here. Did you want to make a confession?”

“It’s just that I’ve been following your work, Father. You’ve been in the Spy quite a bit lately. And I’m just wondering what it is you tell the heathens—”

Now Todorov interrupts, his tone turning sharp, his torso leaning back to the screen. “Heathens?”

“The gang boys. The Tonton Loas. The Angkor Hyenas. The Granada Street Popes.”

“I’m not sure we’re in the right place to—”

“Of course you’re right, Father. It’s just that your work, what I’ve read about, the things I’ve heard—it’s all caused me to rethink certain . . . well, it has relevance to my confession, you see.”

The priest is curious now, maybe on the verge of being flattered. “Go on.”

“It’s just that, Father, the things I’ve done . . . it’s very difficult to . . . I’m very ashamed . . .”

Todorov is in his element now. His voice turns professional, a brother to his radio voice. “God’s brought you here today for a reason, don’t you think? We can’t change the past, my friend, but we can repent. That’s why you’re here. There are things you want to tell me, yes?”

“Yes, there are, Father.”

“Yes, there are. Now, you take a deep breath and you let the Spirit move you.”

“It’s very difficult, Father—”

“God will give you the strength. Tell me your story.”

Speer begins to whisper in a voice too soft to be heard. Todorov says, “If you could just speak up a bit, my friend.”

Speer sees the priest lean his ear toward the screen. The buck knife comes up and slashes the mesh diagonally. Speer’s free fist flies through the opening; catches the priest in the eye, breaks open skin. His hand grabs hold of Todorov’s throat and pulls the priest’s head through, into the penitents’ booth. Before the priest can scream, Speer has a full arm around his neck and the blade to his throat.

“I’ll have your tongue on the floor before you can make a fucking sound.”

The priest starts to let out small, panicky gasps that immediately evolve into a wet gurgle.

“I want you to know what you’ve done. I want you to realize what your actions have brought you. I hope God can have more mercy on you than I.”

Speer brings the knife down, pockets it, and draws from his jacket a small silver metal cylinder about the size of a hip flask. He holds it up in front of the priest’s face, actually touches the man’s forehead with it like some kind of quick anointing.

“This is benzine.”

He brings the canister up to his mouth, grips the cap with his teeth, unscrews the top, and spits the cap to the floor.

“The Nigerians used to be crazy for this stuff a while back. Warring tribes used to pour it over their captives. Made for an unbelievable sight. A man on fire with this shit—it isn’t like he just burns. This is like rocket fuel, okay? You explode.”

Todorov makes a single frantic pull backward, a seizurelike move of absolute panic. Speer tightens his grip on the neck and begins to pour the benzine over the top of the priest’s head.

“Just like baptism, Father.”

He empties the canister and drops it.

“Coincidentally, you know who’s big on benzine death these days? That’s right. Your own little Hyenas, there. The little Cambodian fuckers. It’ll look like you and the Hyenas had a disagreement. But that was bound to happen.”

Speer gets ready, takes a breath, then lets another punch fly, connects at the bridge of the priest’s nose, hears the bone break. At the same time he releases his hold and Todorov’s head shoots backward, back into the confessor’s booth.

In a single, graceful motion, Speer swings out of the confessional, grabs his Zippo lighter from his jacket, thumbs up a flame, and tosses the lighter in on top of Todorov. There’s an explosive sound of air popping, a gustlike rush of noise that increases in volume and chokes out any scream as the priest’s body tumbles sideways out into the church, immediately unrecognizable, a crumbling tower of blue-green flame, an inferno of dizzying incineration of flesh, hair, fabric, and then, in seconds, bone, calcium, muscle, and marrow. It’s like staring into the corner of a canvas that depicts the lowest and most brutal level of hell, blown up into a close-up and made animate. Todorov’s body stops moving. The curtain of the confessional is transformed into blue flames. The worn carpeting starts to burn below the pile of imploding cleric. The wood of the confessional booth catches. It’s a species of burning, a breed of fire that most people never get a chance to see.

But Speer is already in his car and pulling onto Harrington Street, a new Torquemada in a Ford sedan, a rush playing through his body like a pure bolt of speed, as if the glands of some raging god have been planted at the base of his spine. And a small buzz starts up in his ear like a brilliant insect, congratulating him on his step over the line, on his entry into the world of action.

2

Wireless, despite its name, did not set out to become a meeting place for the city’s radio freaks, though its owners, Mr. Ferrie and Mr. Most, were both longtime broadcast buffs. They’d met locally, over at Jonas University, and spent four years together, locked inside the college station, restaging a lot of the pre-television radio gags that had been popular in their parents’ era: d.j.’s on the air a week without sleep, ridiculous and endless fake interviews, “Louie, Louie” played for forty-eight hours nonstop.

They took the inevitable step over the line when, a week after the Kent State killings, they ran a mock War of the Worlds–type all-day news report concerning the seizure of the campus by fatigue-clad CIA commandos reporting solely to Spiro Agnew, and the subsequent courtyard execution, relayed in graphic blood-spurting detail, of the student newspaper editor, the women’s collective coordinator, and two-thirds of the philosophy department.

The dean’s office was not amused. Ferrie and Most were suspended for the balance of their final semester and never bothered going back for their degrees. With time on their hands and few employment prospects, they borrowed money from their parents and purchased a condemned 1920s lunch car that was oddly attached to a condemned former factory.

Their hope was to round up some hands-off investors and turn the place into Quinsigamond’s first cutting-edge, independent, underground radio station. The first prospective financiers didn’t stay long after it was revealed that the station would program, in Ferrie’s own words, “dramatic readings from the works of Herbert Marcuse—right alongside only the purest R&B.” Furthermore, they’d accept no commercial advertising. At this point one possible investor, an uncle of Most’s back in Newark, shook his head, confused, and asked, “No advertising? Where do I get my return?”

Ferrie and Most shook their heads back at him and said in unison, both their voices rising in pitch to accent the word’s last syllable, “Return?”

As the uncle threw them out of his home, Ferrie made an improvised pitch that they’d sell their blood on a regular basis.

Instead, they scrapped the radio station idea and reopened the diner as a diner. They cleaned the lunch car and fashioned enough Mickey Mouse repairs to placate the licensing board and, surprisingly, during the first month of operation, found they’d stumbled into the right market—blue plate specials for a blue-collar town. Neither was an expert chef, but they borrowed family recipes for meat loaf and chili and turned a modest and, at the time, somewhat embarrassing profit the first year.

Ferrie shocked himself by realizing he had a facility for business. Most uncovered a latent flair for design. They reinvested continually, eventually bought the ruined factory building grafted to their rear. They expanded, renovated the dim mill that had spun a century’s worth of machine parts from the sweat of immigrant labor. By the late seventies, the partners drifted onto the dangerous precipice of late-night hipness, and became nightclub mavens. They scored a liquor license, contracted live bands, sculpted a hazy-neon back-street motif, suspended huge, original, local artwork on the now-chic exposed-brick walls. And Wireless became a certified hot spot.

Today, people pulling into the crushed-stone parking lot at 10 p.m., letting their headlights play off the unique structure gleaming deep-colored light and literally humming with an electric buzz, have a tendency to indulge in hindsight and state, “The place couldn’t miss.” But Ferrie and Most would be the first to tell anyone their fortunes rose on the uncontrolled tides of luck and weird social fads.

In their adjoining offices above the dance floor, they keep on the wall, framed in acid-proof matte and imported wood, lit by glareless, recessed lighting, color snapshots of the diner and factory as they existed on the day the partners took title: filthy and falling down, an occasional grave for junkies and derelicts, a nest for urban wild dogs, a fire trap, a blight on the landscape calling out for a John Deere bulldozer. Next to these are shots of the building as it exists today—sandblasted clean, hauled into the future without destroying the feel and look of the past.

In its present, pristine state, something about Wireless looks almost unreal, as if it were the product of Hollywood set designers and special-effects wizards. There’s a weird glow that seems to emanate from the diner when you see it from a distance, sitting at the end of the long, dead-end, gravel road. It looks like a streamlined train car designed by men drunk with optimism, crazed with hope for a future of limitless progress where technology paid as much heed to aesthetics as functionality. The diner always seems ready to lurch into motion, to start a frantic but absolutely smooth charge down a set of invisible tracks, powered not by steam or diesel or electricity, but rather by the sheer spectacle and insistence of the neon light that runs in sleek, flowing tubes along the edges of the structure.

The neon is a Halloween orange and it culminates on the roof of the lunch car where deco letters spell out the word DINER. Piggyback above the DINER sign is a huge deco-style capital letter G that gleams in yellow neon. A lot of the regulars are convinced the G has some special significance, that Ferrie and Most have coded some cryptic meaning into a single letter of the alphabet. But in fact, the G merely stands for the original diner owner’s name—Lennie Grimoire. Ferrie and Most could make that fact public and put an end to the rampant speculation and betting. But they live for exactly that air of vagueness and mystery and so the yellow-neon G is allowed to stand for everyone’s wildest interpretation.

The front wall of the diner is made of baked porcelain painted a forest green with canary-yellow block letters that read WIRELESS and at either end announce Tables for Ladies. Above the lettering are an even dozen double-pane windows with gilt trim. The roof is accentuated by a small stainless-steel lip that gives just a touch of overhang and shades the windows.

Inside is all marble and chrome and stainless steel, offset by more neon and wooden paddle fans, deco-tiled floor, polished oak walls, and muted purple and blue spotlights. The lunch car section of the building features the original black-veined marble counter that stretches for fifteen feet with a dozen chrome and Naugahyde stools bolted to the floor behind a long brass foot rail. Behind the stools are a dozen booths with plasticized leather covering over solid-wood frames. The lunch car serves some simple dishes, standard diner food—chili, stews, an occasional goulash. The dishes sit in steam wells and fill the room with a distinctive but unidentifiable aroma.

Where the diner gives way to the interior of the old factory is where Ferrie and Most let their imaginations start to run free. Inside the brick caverns that extend backward behind the lunch car, all rules of design logic were allowed to be broken. There is no grand plan, no underlying theme to the interior of Wireless. Ferrie and Most worked slowly and instinctively in putting their world together. They filled up factory space piecemeal, as the money came in. They rustled the decor from a wide variety of sectors. One week they’d scavenge from flea markets all over New England, the next they’d pay top dollar just for the right to bid at an unannounced auction in a Manhattan gallery. They bought close-out merchandise from salvage companies. They purchased mail-order from weird trade magazines. They bartered and swapped and got involved in drawn-out installment sales on items no one could imagine them needing in the first place.

But the items always fit in with such symmetry and style that now it seems like Ferrie and Most were born masterminds of intricate design and placement. And they’ve given up on trying to convince anyone otherwise. Who could accept their protestations that everything in Wireless simply gave off a vibration? That it was the items that bagged the owners and not the other way around.

The building is now as crowded as a Victorian china cabinet. There are barber chairs occupied by full human skeletons that were donated by a couple of med school dropouts in exchange for a “regular’s” table in the diner. There are three perfectly restored, chrome-festooned Harley-Davidsons impaled through their seats by carousel poles and suspended in midair like some carnival ride for monster children. There’s the front end of a 1961 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud II coupe that appears to have crashed through a sidewall, though closer inspection reveals that the loose bricks and mortar on the hood and floor are cemented in place. Next to this frozen collision is an authentic old fire-engine-red gasoline pump that one regular has customized so that a press of the nozzle dispenses what rumor purports to be a blast of nitrous oxide but what is, in fact, merely pure oxygen.

In the rear of the factory, in a section the regulars call Minnesota, is the billiards room. It includes a high wall of reference books solely devoted to radio. Some of the books are intricate manuals and others are memoirs and nostalgia from the entertainment field, but all chronicle Ferrie and Most’s lifelong obsession.

The billiards tables are actually five genuine caskets, sold at cost by an undertaker named Frankie Loftus. A couple of selfstyled cabinetmakers went to work on them one day and produced a weird new version of bumper pool complete with sawed-off cues and smaller but denser pool balls. The exposed-brick walls of Minnesota are hung with framed photos of radio legends from bygone days: Major Kord, Cowboy Slim Rinehart, Rose Dawn, Paul Kallinger, and J. C. Bishop.

But most of all, inside Wireless you find radios. They’re everywhere. Crosleys, Philcos, Farnsworths, G.E.’s. Running exactly down the center of the factory are a series of floor-to-ceiling brick pillars that serve to buttress the roof. The sturdier waist-high cabinet radios are positioned around these supports like deco altars, as if the nightclub were a cathedral where each priest had his own blessed platform for performing a complex rite. The smaller, rarer models are placed on display shelves, like royal jewels or the bones of saints, underneath arcing acrylic domes. Each booth in Wireless comes equipped with its own radio done up to look like a 1950s chrome-sided, bubble-faced mini-juke.

From the start, Ferrie and Most’s shrine to radios and weirdness brought in the crowds—the curious as well as the hard core. They pumped a good cut of their profits back into the machine, kept reinvesting in atmosphere, always giving the customers more of a taste, continually upgrading their tickets to a semi-alien milieu. The process kept paying off.

Though they stumbled into the club-owner life—all tailored Italian suits and a closet just for footwear; imported two-seat cars and annual winter trips to the Caribbean—Ferrie and Most never lost their love for radio. In a prominent corner of Wireless, up on a platform that some regulars call the Shrine, they installed an original, perfect-condition, still-functional forty-one-inch-tall Stewart-Warner cabinet model with the patented Magic Keyboard tuner. But despite this beautiful receiver, they could only pick up the same, common commercial broadcasts as anyone else. Until one night when Ferrie went down in the basement to bring up a fresh case of Dewar’s, stumbled over some leftover equipment Most had stored there years before, forgot the Scotch, and hauled up a crate of dust-blanketed microphones, amplifiers, turntables, and speakers. He found an empty booth, dumped the stuff on the table, and began hooking up. His enthusiasm caught on immediately and within the hour someone had unplugged the Stewart-Warner and the club owners were sitting opposite each other, their mouths hidden by fat Electrovoice mikes, doing a show that was limited to the interior of Wireless.

But that limited audience was enough to bring back to Ferrie and Most a lost joy. Their improvised interplay had a manic quality to it. They seemed to share one set of brain waves when they were on the air. They could finish sentences for each other, come up with brilliant punch lines for on-the-spot jokes. They played rare, sometimes bootleg R&B gems between gabtime. They editorialized, prophesied, lampooned, became passionate in an odd, endearing way.

It was sometimes as if some extra, unnatural current ran between both microphones and into the hands of the men on opposite sides of the booth, some occultish line of mystery that pulled them into sync, meshed their subconscious thoughts, time-shared neurons and synapses, twinned dreams for mutual consumption. The growing cast of regulars at Wireless could feel it, but resisted speaking about it, as if they wanted to guard it, nurture it, and make it into an unspoken cult of electrical storytelling.

But like all cults, word of its existence leaked outside the borders of the diner and mill walls, and the like-minded—radio freaks of one form or another—began to gather. There were the techno-heads, people usually into shortwave and the textbook theories behind its practice. There were the nighthawks, people who only seemed to feel connected to other pockets of humanity when those pockets were perceived at 4 a.m. in a darkened room as detached and very laid-back voices drifting out of a pillow speaker. There were some d.j. groupies, some straight, simple R&B fans, some C.B. folk who loved to listen to the logistical reports of long-distance truckers, some New Wave rejects from the artsy Canal Zone who were into “random radio noise.” And there were the jammers.

The Wireless regulars knew of the jammers’ existence almost at once, but a strange taboo was in place from the start: you don’t rat on jammers. There wasn’t much logic behind the dictum. Jammers, by their very nature, represented opposition to, maybe destruction of, the exact medium that gave radio freaks value and meaning in their lives. But logical or not, the jammers were not only tolerated but fully accepted. Possibly they were considered the problemsome black sheep of an already somewhat ostracized family—the prodigal sons and daughters who, though you knew they were going to drain your wallet, break your heart, maybe rupture the very idea of Family that you cherished so much, you helped and protected and endured. Ferrie and Most knew instinctively that logic was not a key strand in the net that bound families—even the most oddly connected and fragile—together.

There was also an appealing aura that jammers seemed to give off when they weren’t obsessively concerned about remaining hidden, “deep in average-cover,” as Wallace Browning said, in “mole-mode,” as G.T. Flynn referred to it. Outside the solitude of their own homes, their hidden jamming stations and disruption rooms, the loosest a jammer could be was at Wireless. When their guards came down, even slightly, they let show just how noble and dangerous and frontline they thought their avocation was. And out of that attitude came a visible surety—not quite a cockiness, but more an assurance of self-worth that was vaguely manifested in their appearance or demeanor. They could throw on their oldest clothing and look hip and pricy. They could preach memorable sermons with the slight turning of eyes and tightening of the mouth. And they seemed to have an edge in the seduction department.

This is close to what Flynn is thinking, standing out in the parking lot, leaning against his car and taking in the beauty of the whole place and peering in a window, watching Hazel cadge drinks from a pair of college-boy d.j.’s with pockets of New York cash.

Is there anyone who knows how old Hazel really is? Best guesses range somewhere around the early twenties, but few of the regulars have ever seen her outside of Wireless and it’s hard to get a good look at her face in the dim blue light of the bar.

Hazel was one of the first jammers to start hanging at the bar, right after G.T. and before Wallace, though Wallace doesn’t really hang, just uses the place like a 3-D bulletin board. Hazel spends a lot of time teasing the curious newcomers. She allows rumors to spread, sometimes starts them herself. No one except Flynn knows what her day job is, if she has one. Some say hairdresser—based, most likely, on the several different colors and styles she might move through in a given season. Some say stewardess, since she tends to disappear for days at a time and has been seen drinking those tiny nip-bottles of airplane booze in the rest room. If Ferrie and Most know, they’re not telling.

Flynn probably knows more about Hazel than anyone else and that’s not a lot. He knows she was married once, a teenage romance that didn’t last the year. He once heard about a child put up for adoption, a boy that lives somewhere in the county.

A Volvo pulls up in front of him and Flynn smiles, leans to the car window, and says, “I thought you two would’ve taken home half the gold by now.”

Behind the wheel, Wallace Browning rolls his eyes. “We’re running late, as usual,” he says.

Browning’s wife, Olga, leans over and says, “Wish us luck, G.T.”

Flynn reaches in the window and grabs Olga’s hand. “You two don’t need luck, my friend. You’ve got magic feet.” He glances down to the floor, always intrigued by the customized pedals on the Volvo.

Wallace and Olga are both dwarfs. They each stand about three feet tall, but that doesn’t prevent them from being two of the most graceful and imaginative ballroom dancers Flynn has ever seen.

Wallace leans his head out the window a bit and whispers, “Did you talk to the problem child yet?”

Flynn sighs and shakes his head, a little annoyed. “I just got here, Wallace. The night is young.”

The dwarf makes a mild hissing noise. His voice rises and he says, “Mark my words, G.T. If we don’t—”

Flynn cuts him off with a pat on the arm.

“Wallace, leave the situation to me, okay? I’ll handle this. There’s no need to worry. You two get out of here and have a good time. Win one for your favorite life agent.” He shifts his head to see Olga. “Don’t let this guy slow you down, Olga. You look gorgeous, by the way.”

“We need to talk soon,” Wallace mutters, and shifts the car into drive.

“You worry too much,” Flynn says, and squeezes Browning’s shoulder. Then he steps back and watches the Volvo ease out of the lot.

Whenever he sees Wallace wearing that classic 1940s tuxedo, Flynn can’t help thinking the guy looks like some bizarre waiter in a decadent Nazi restaurant, a curiosity hired for the diversion he might provide the easily bored customers.

What must it have been like growing up a dwarf? Flynn wonders. Was it a matter of surviving an endless barrage of repeated, unfunny jokes and taunts? Or was it more a matter of isolation, of being set apart, unincorporated right from the womb, right from day one on the planet, no one pulling you into the breast of the normal, the full-grown?

He leaves the question in the parking lot, turns, and heads for Wireless.

Flynn enters through the diner entrance, stops in the doorway next to Tjun the bouncer, says, “What kind of a night?”

Tjun shrugs. He’s an Aborigine, tall, bearded, achingly slender, of indeterminate age, and, supposedly, deadly with a long-blade knife that has a name no one can pronounce. He showed up at Wireless five years ago, responding to a help-wanted ad in the Spy. He’s been the head bouncer ever since. No one seems to know where he lives. He keeps himself above the social politics of the bar and doesn’t even seem too interested in radio in general. When Flynn asked Ferrie about him once, the co-owner went melodramatic and said, “Guy saved my life once and I don’t want to say anything else about him.” Flynn treats Tjun with a rare respect, never uses his sarcastic brand of humor in the man’s presence.

“Hazel and her friends inside?” Flynn asks.

“At the bar,” Tjun says in an odd, clipped accent that Flynn loves.

Flynn moves past him, steps into the smoky-blue glow of the room, blinks a few times. Each time he steps inside Wireless, he has to give Ferrie and Most credit for achieving the atmosphere that almost all clubs reach for and the majority look foolish missing. Flynn thinks of it as expensive decadence, a place that can feel foreign even if you’ve spent a year’s worth of nights there, a place where all kinds of verbally coded purchase and sales agreements might take place and payouts feel like they could require three different types of currency. It’s even more amazing that the club has this feel when the fact is that most of the regulars are stunningly middle-class and usually short on funds. And yet, there’s no denying the room has a tone to it, an envelope of pure mood, a sensory tide produced by no more than two dreamy men with a vision of weird, unstriving hipness and the resurgence of an almost-bygone medium.

Flynn spots Hazel and slides up to the bar between the college boys, clamping an arm across each of their backs, saying, “Guys, I think there’s a free pool table around in the back.”

The two look at each other as if one should argue, then walk away in a slow double sulk. Flynn moves in close until his arm is touching Hazel and she says, “You really get off on screwing up my fantasies.”

“They’re babes in the woods, dear. I’m saving you from the law.”

Most puts a cognac down in front of Flynn and walks to the other end of the bar without a word.

“Then I guess I owe you.”

“Do you work at being a smart-ass? Do you practice when you’re alone?”

“I just want to be straight. This would be banter, right? We’re bantering?”

“Not even close. I’m just working on not liking you.”

“You have to like me, Flynn. I’m one of the fold. That’s the rules.”

“The rules are,” Flynn says, “that there are no rules, my love—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Speaking of which, I understand there might be some trouble.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I got a message on my machine from Wallace in that voice. You know that voice, darling?”

“You’ve been warned.”

“You know I hate playing the mediator schmuck. I hate that crap.”

“Who asked you? I never asked for a mediator.”

“Why do you always want to stir up trouble?”

There’s a beat and then they both burst out laughing. Flynn shakes his head, puts a flat palm up to his forehead, and says, “Look what you’ve got me saying.”

“That,” Hazel says, “is an instant classic, G.T. Stir up trouble. That won’t be forgotten, I promise.”

“Look, dearest, heart of my heart, I get the feeling Wallace is going to do a little saber-rattling.”

Hazel gives the smile that she knows gets to Flynn. “Well,” she says, “you know Wallace. Tiny saber.”

“Come on. We don’t need these kinds of problems right now.”

“Look, Flynn, Wallace is losing it. He’s getting more paranoid every day. I don’t know how Olga lives with the little bastard. He’s lost the point of the whole thing. Little brain’s gotten corrupted. What’s that quote about ultimate power?”

“Don’t know it. Listen, Wallace is just a little uptight about bringing the heat down. He hates press and the Spy’s been running these articles on the brothers and all. I think he’s just afraid you might escalate things, you know, over the line—”

“Whose line?

“—and ruin it for everyone. You know, for Wallace this is still a lark, a prank kind of thing. He’s not into the whole philosophical thing. He just likes the reaction, the way it makes him feel. He doesn’t come at it from a—I don’t know—a political angle. He’s not going to change—”

“And neither am I.”

“And neither are you. And I think if we just have a little powwow—”

“Powwow?”

“—upstairs, and try to talk this out, find some agreement—”

“I hate sitting on those orange crates,” Hazel says. “I get splinters in my ass.”

“—make everyone secure to some extent. Reach a compromise—sorry, sorry, I know how you hate that word, my mistake, not a compromise, but an agreement, an understanding.”

“So where is the little toad?”

“That annual dinner-dance thing. Down the Baron.”

“He’s coming by after?”

“He loves to gloat. He’ll probably bring the freaking trophy in with him. Sit it up on the bar.”

“He does that,” Hazel says, “I swear to God he’ll carry it out of here without using his hands.”

Flynn looks at Hazel, smiles, and shrugs. “Look, I’m just saying give me a chance here, okay? Think unity.”

Hazel makes a face like she’s bitten into something rancid, but even with a sour expression there’s something about her Flynn finds endearing. Despite all the sneering-punk accessories and the rumors of obscene tattoos and the slightly spiked blond hair that she insists on running a strawberry streak through, Flynn finds something vulnerable in Hazel. He’s sure no one else can see it, that they’d probably laugh him into the parking lot if he mentioned it. But he can’t get around it. For all her tough-as-nails rebel act and tomboy-from-hell attitude, he wants to somehow protect her. Maybe from herself. Sometimes he wonders what she’d look like without all the shock makeup. Beneath the eyeliner and occasional nose ring, she’s got a sweet, kind of open face—blue-green eyes and smallish features. Her diet of speed and veggie pocket-sandwiches has turned her body into a cadaverthin reed, but Flynn thinks she has a sensual walk, a kind of languid, careless sway that, were she aware of it, she’d eliminate immediately.

Somebody yells, “G.T.,” from somewhere deeper in the bar and Flynn says, “I’ve got to make the rounds. Just think about what I’ve said, okay?”

Hazel reaches over and pinches his cheek, then disappears into the crowd. Flynn heads for Minnesota. He enters the billiards room to a hail of calls and whistles, then endures several minutes of back-slapping and arm punching. Someone slides a drink into his hand and finally the room settles back down and turns its collective attention to the antique Philco radio. Flynn listens for just a second, then asks, “Who’d they go after tonight?”

In unison, several voices yell, “WQSG,” as if it were a cheer of some kind.

“QSG,” Flynn says, then glances at his watch. “Jesus, the boys are cutting it close tonight.”

From the speaker of the Philco issues the hottest broadcast in Quinsigamond this season—the O’Zebedee Brothers’ Outlaw Network, radio pirates extraordinaire, myth creatures of the airwaves, an urban legend without rival in this town.

And as if the brothers could somehow sense the growing tension in Minnesota, they start to confront the crowd’s main concern:

. . . and a glance to the digital in the dash tells us that about now all the radio rats huddled down under the big neon G are starting to sweat just a little as it begins to look like their allegiances could be tested. But listen up and lighten up, subcitizens, ’cause James and John are fellow devotees of the one and only erotic empress herself. And we promise we will never come between you and Veronica. So rest at ease, the goddess will embrace your ears on schedule. . .

3

It’s not until after she’s parked in the deserted mall garage that Ronnie realizes she never turned on the radio, that she drove from her apartment to the radio station in silence. She likes to put herself on, joke with herself, so she sits in the Jeep and starts acting out a five-second tragedy, her head down on top of her hands as they grip the steering wheel. Where’s my loyalty, she pretends to think, where’s my devotion? She brings her head up, laughing, her own best audience. She grabs her old Girl Scout knapsack and says out loud, “Ronnie, why are you wasting your time in this city?”

She climbs out of the jeep, slams the door so that it echoes the length of the cement garage, walks down the exit ramp toward the small quadrangle of Astroturf between the garage and the mall. She loves stopping in the quadrangle at this time of night, the place eerie and filled with this smoky mist she never sees anywhere else. She likes to stop midway across the fake grass, look back at the wall of the garage, seven stories of cement levels with windowlike symmetrical squares cut in everywhere. She likes to stand there, enclosed, caught inside this pocket of air between the parking garage and the glass rear wall of the mall. It makes her feel like she’s the only character in some forgotten French or Italian art film from decades back. She wishes she spoke a foreign language so she could ad-lib a scene. Something about an invading army just miles away. She’s the broken-down servant girl, abused beyond description, the sole carrier of information that could hold off the enemy. Her warrior lover is waiting here on these foggy moors. He’s bleeding from behind the ear, deep red oozing into the ragged cotton cloth he’s wrapped around his neck like a bandanna. She runs the last few yards toward him, throws herself into his arms. They both fall to the wet ground. Mud covers their legs. It begins to rain. The wind picks up, gets even worse. He looks down at her, his vision obscuring. He says only, “My brave one.” She stares back up at him, one foot over the borderline of delirium. Her red lips quiver, part. She says, “We, we . . .” He waits, desperate for her news. She draws in a breath, tries again. “We . . .’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.”

She moves up to the glass elevator affixed to the mall wall and says, “Girl, what is wrong with your brain?”

The elevator door opens and she enters and turns around to look out on the quad as she rises. She reaches under the olive-green flap of the knapsack, digs down into the canvas folds, pulls out with one hand an antique silver hip flask. She screws off the flask top and swallows a warm mouthful of mescal. She secures the flask, resacks it, and turns toward the inner wall just as the elevator arrives at the third floor. Once again, a master of timing.

She steps out onto the slippery Spanish-tile floor, lets her eyes adjust to the dimmed after-hours lighting of the mall. This is the only time she can stomach the mall, and thankfully ten-to-two has always been her shift since she came to the station. Sometimes, after she turns the mike over to Sonny, who does the two-to-six occult show, she goes window shopping. Security doesn’t seem to mind. She passes them on their rounds, makes risqué comments that they love, scratches the German shepherd behind the ears.

Ronnie knows every store in the mall, but she’s never purchased a thing here. She buys everything mail-order, through catalogues. She wishes she could get her groceries this way. She doesn’t know what it is about the mall in daylight, when the stores are open for business, that repels her. She’s never stopped to analyze it, find a meaning that could alter things. She just takes it as a given that she can only accept the mall when it’s closed, a retail ghost town. Last month, peering into the display window of Lear Jeweler’s, she thought of herself as the vampire browser—she walks by night, skulks through the shadows of the Orange Julius kiosk, swoops past the crypt of the shoeshine bench.

Down the enclosed alley from the elevator, Wayne, the engineer, is playing catch, bouncing a red rubber ball off the cement wall that leads up to the studio. This is not a good sign. Beyond him, inside the huge plate-glass window that lets shoppers look in on the daytime announcers hard at work, like they were as interesting as pizza flippers, she can see Vinnie, the station manager, and Ray, the Nazi who mans the six-to-ten shift. They’re having another mini-fit, flailing arms and screaming at each other. The broadcast booth is soundproof and this turns their raging into a silent comedy, an Abbott and Costello bit set in the not-so-golden age of radio.

“Would this be a good night to call in sick?” she says, starting to approach Wayne.

He goes into his baseball routine. He makes exaggerated moves with his body, somehow jumps and leaps in slow motion, turns on his cigar-scarred, hysterical, play-by-play voice. “What a shot . . . the Wayne-man can kiss this one . . . no, no sir, no siree, it’s off the left-field wall . . . the runner is barreling around second . . . Mr. W fields it and fires for home . . . the runner is sliding . . . Wilcox takes position . . .”

He fires the rubber ball at her. She doesn’t stop, doesn’t break her stride. She punches her right arm upward, all confidence, and rips the ball out of its trajectory.

Wayne’s voice surges upward in pitch and volume. “She’s got him, she’s nailed him, she’s put the game away. The crowd goes insane . . .” He cuts into the garbled hiss of a capacity mob pumped up on immediate victory and does a solo version of the Wave.

“You missed your calling,” she says, moving up next to him, keeping an eye on the histrionics in the broadcast booth.

“The Voice of Baseball?”

“Terrorist. You’ve got that kind of ego.”

“And to think I was going to spring for the number four at Tiananmen Takeout.”

“Uh-uh. No more midnight buffets, Wayne. I’m turning into Ms. MSG.”

“Microphone’s Saving Grace.”

“Stop being funny. What’s the story with Schultzie and Klink?”

“Uh-oh, I guess someone didn’t have the station tuned in on the drive to work.”

“I can’t listen to Ray anymore. Throws my whole mood. Ruins my show.”

“You used to be amused and now you’re just disgusted.”

“Yeah, something like that. We’ve been hit again?”

“They’re still at it. We’re still off the air.”

“For Christ sake, Wayne, I’m on in twenty minutes.”

“That’s what I told them. Nothing to worry about.”

“There’s nothing you can do?”

“These guys get better every day. I’m a hack compared to some of them.”

“You tried everything?”

“All I know is it’s coming from the east side.”

“Vinnie’s not going to make it.”

“You should have been here when Federman called.”

“Oh, Jesus.”

“I told Vinnie. I said, ‘Vinnie, we’ll be clear by ten. Ronnie’s on at ten and she’s their goddess.’ ”

“You charmer. Here we go, I’m blushing.”

“What? Es verdad, darling. They’ve hit every shift at the station, at least twice, except for ten-to-two. The Ronnie shift. Sweetheart of the subset.”

“Seriously, every shift?”

“They’ve hit Ray six times this month. Jesus, do they hate Ray.”

“So they’ve got taste on top of brains.”

“Speaking of taste, old pal . . .”

“Honest to God, Wayne, I can’t do Chinese tonight. Maybe nachos, later on. Did you fix the microwave?”

“I’m not talking Velveeta here, you know. I’m feeling pretty worn down tonight. Doing a lot of overtime. This could be a long night for your favorite tech-man.”

“Mr. Coffee broken?”

“Studio coffee? On my stomach?”

“Jesus, you’re a leech. Why don’t you ever bring the booze?”

“C’mon. You’re the big breadwinner around here. What do you say?”

“I say let’s see if we get our signal back up—”

“Guaranteed, fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah, well, you talk to me then.”

“So you’re saying it’s conditional? Your generosity to a friend is conditional? This is an either/or thing?”

Ronnie gives him a tight smile, throws the rubber ball into the air over his head, and starts to walk toward the studio door. Ray is breaking things, snapping pencils in two as she enters the broadcast booth. Vinnie has fallen into a silent depression. This always happens after a call from Mr. Federman.

“So, Raymie,” she says, dumping her knapsack onto the board, “the whole city shut you off tonight. What the hell did you say?”

Ray takes a breath and sits back in his chair, puts on his low, in-control voice. “That’s right, Wilcox, push some buttons. Brilliant move. Annoy me some more.”

She squints down at him, moves over to the-lump-called-Vinnie, and starts to massage his shoulders. “Relax, Raymond. Pull yourself together. Your status as a professional is on the line here.”

“Make some jokes, girl—”

“That’s bitch-goddess to you, Ray.”

“—be funny, be a wise-ass.”

“That’s what they pay me for, remember?”

“Shock-jock shrink with the whore’s mouth.”

“It’s a weird world, Ray. You have to know your market. There’re a lot more lovesick depressives out there than paranoid Nazis. That’s what I try to tell Federman over lunch. ‘That’s the reason for Raymond’s numbers, Mr. F.’ So far he buys it.”

Ray loses his grip, goes for the bait like a dim trout. “You want to throw the numbers at me, you little bitch, you want to start in?”

“People,” Vinnie manages to say.

“Love to start in, Ray. I’m amazed these east-siders could jam your show. No one else seems to know it exists.”

“My freaking numbers would be fine if I had a little consistency, if I weren’t off the freaking air twice a week because some little delinquents are allowed—”