With God through the crisis E-Book

Patrick Wolf

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 399

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

An authentically told story of how an encounter with God during the COVID pandemic turns life around one hundred and eighty degrees. Whereas parties, women and porn used to be the focus, now God is suddenly the center of life. Why does Jesus become his best friend? How does he pronounce a calling to Thailand? How does he show that he desires nothing more than a lively personal relationship with us? There are moving stories on topics like these. Step by step, Jesus explains how we can gain freedom from addictions, experience healing from illnesses and make use of his many other gifts right now. Whether for Christians or for people who do not know God, this book can completely change lives.

Leseprobe

With God Through the Crisis

About me

I grew up in East Germany in a Christian parental home and went to a conservative Protestant church with my parents every Sunday until I was seventeen. But then I discovered the nightlife and preferred to sleep in on Sundays. I also drifted further and further away from God through false friends, much to my parents' chagrin. After completing my apprenticeship, I did my civilian service for one year in the USA. I then moved to Spain for almost another year before returning home for two years because of a relationship to a girl. When the relationship broke up, I worked for three years on the Canary Islands, Crete, Turkey, and Portugal as a representative for a German tour operator. During these three years, my nights were filled with parties and girls. I distanced myself from God during this time more and more. After a short stopover in Russia, I went back to Germany in 2011, but to Berlin because I was fascinated by the city. My parents naturally wanted nothing more than for me to make contact with Christians. However, I didn't want to hear about it, but because of their many prayers, I eventually found ICF Berlin, a non-denominational church but I only went there a few Sundays and my mind was elsewhere. The rest of the week, I preferred to spend with girls and other things. I started traveling the world and have been to more than fifty countries. In addition to many city trips, I traveled the world with my backpack and got to know many interesting people through CouchSurfing, a platform for free overnight stays. I particularly fell in love with Asian countries such as Thailand, Vietnam, Taiwan, and the Philippines. And so the years went by until my life was turned upside down at the beginning of January 2020.

Turning back

It all started one evening in January 2020. It was cold, raining, and I was bored. So I smoked some marijuana in my apartment in Berlin. I was watching various video clips on my phone and, as is so often the case, I soon ended up on pornographic sites. But suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard an intense yet gentle voice. Although I had never heard of God speaking before, I immediately realized that it was God. It wasn't an acoustic voice, but in my mind he asked me why I had to look at those sites and that I didn't need to. It was a five-minute conversation, like between a father and son, totally relaxed and loving, but also serious in a certain way. Unfortunately, I can't remember the exact words, but the whole conversation was completely filled with love. I was totally stunned because I had never heard God's voice before. During my rather conservative upbringing, it was never discussed that God also speaks to people. However, I was immediately sure that it was God. It got to the point where I put my phone aside and took my dusty Bible out of the cupboard. I started to read it randomly. As I did so, I realized that the reggae music on Spotify had stopped. I was still so blown away by his speech that I couldn't think straight. The next day, I watched the movie Wetlands. A few quotes were shown in the opening credits and suddenly the quote "We need God" appeared. I was flattened again, but I understood that God wanted me back. However, I also sensed that another power wanted to pull me back in the opposite direction. For example, in situations where I wanted to engage with God, text messages came from various women who distracted me. I knew that this was the devil, even if I didn't know him well. He had hardly ever been talked about in my childhood. What exactly was this all about? I remembered that I still had a Christian devotional book in my cupboard from when I was younger. So I started reading it and remembered the phrases and content from my childhood. Back then, I went to Brethren church every Sunday and read the Bible. I realized I hadn´t understood much of what I heard and read. Somehow, the stories were distant and not real. But now I suddenly understood the verses much better. Joshua 1:8 in particular spoke to me: "Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, but search it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it, for then you will prosper in your ways and do wisely." My hunger was awakened. I wanted more and went to the ICF church the following Sunday. This time I was there with my thoughts and listened carefully to what the pastor was saying. The sermon was indeed exciting, and this time, I didn't disappear straight after the service. In the foyer, I spotted a beautiful young woman who was sitting on a stool all by herself and whom I had never seen before. I approached her and after a very good conversation, I said goodbye in the hope of seeing her again next Sunday. That's why we didn't exchange phone numbers. However, I never saw her again and couldn't find her despite trying very hard. Looking back, I'm not sure who this woman was, but it was also through her that I now went to church every Sunday and attended with my heart. There I also found out about the Bible app YouVersion, which I then downloaded onto my iPhone. It contains the entire Bible, only electronically. The app even has reading plans for each topic, so you can read a short devotional every day.

Negative characteristics

In a reading plan, I was asked what God's plan for me would be. That was an exciting question, so I prayed to God and asked him to give me an answer. That same day, I watched a movie set in Thailand, which I hadn´t seen before. As I loved Asia so much, I could imagine emigrating there one day. I had already made plans for this in 2019 by talking to my boss about a possible sabbatical. Did this have something to do with God's plan? I continued to engage with God but kept feeling an inner storm between good and evil. The pressure grew and, at some point, I couldn't take it anymore and watched a porn movie. I blamed myself, but then I read the following in the Bible app: "So keep on worshipping God, no matter what seems to be against you. This will take you to new places, open new doors and the blessing of God will surprise you again and again." I simply had to pull the ripcord and make a fundamental change. My desire was to get rid of my negative characteristics one by one. So I wrote them all down, and there were many ... One of my biggest negative traits was that I was quick to get upset about things. I had to learn to stay calm, for example, the next time a bus pulled out in front of me. It was simply necessary to engage even more with God in order to get to know Him and His attributes better. I read that if we honor God and develop a lifestyle where we prioritize God, worship Him, and hold on to Him, we would not lose but gain. We would increase in beauty, we would be perceived positively, we would be respected, and we would leave a lasting good impression. I really wanted to experience that.

Start of the pandemic

In February, more and more cases of COVID became known in Germany, a virus that first broke out in China. I had the feeling that we were facing a pandemic and a major economic crisis. I was nervous because I had a stock portfolio. When the stock market collapsed at the end of February, I sold almost my entire portfolio on the third day. Although I also had to absorb a loss, it was much smaller than if I had kept the shares. I invested the proceeds in companies that benefited from COVID. These were mainly shares in the pharmaceutical industry. Share prices fell massively over the next few days, but my shares held steady. I had the feeling that I had to give something back to God. So from then on, I started donating money and offering my help to people in need. I also helped out at Berlin City Mission who are helping homeless people.

God cares for us

At the beginning of March, I realized that everything had gotten better since I had turned to Jesus. I was just fine, even though we were in the middle of a crisis. I worked at Berlin Airport in quality management and short-time work was announced there, but with a twenty percent increase. So I was on eighty percent of my net salary and was able to live well from it. The tourism industry in particular got hit hard by COVID. Events were restricted and were only allowed to take place without an audience. Unfortunately, church services were also affected when I was just getting used to them. On the last Sunday with an audience, I received a card from my church with a saying from 1 Peter 5:7: "Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you." I was able to give Jesus all my burdens. What I didn't know at the time was that this Bible verse would carry me through the entire crisis and even beyond. God was simply brilliant. He also made me brave because suddenly I was telling my friends about him, which I would never have thought possible before. In my childhood, I was often ashamed when I couldn't play soccer on Sundays as I had to go to church. I told my parents my story and they were really happy because they had been praying for me all those twenty years. What a great answer to prayer after this test of patience! My parents and grandparents had often tried to bring me closer to God again, but I just hadn't wanted to listen. For example, when my grandma quoted something from the Bible to me over the phone, I would often put the phone down. Now I was just grateful that many people prayed patiently for me. I just wanted to tell more and more people about Jesus and I coudn´t hide it anymore. That's why I started thinking about writing a blog or a book about my experiences.

Preparing for the economic crisis

In mid-March, public life in Germany was further shut down and bars also had to close. However, the ICF church service was still available on livestream. Despite the restrictions, I continued to do well and even my shares rose, although the stock market continued to fall. I started reading a book by Max Otte about the global economic crisis and also followed tips from Dr. Markus Krall and Dirk Müller. I kept myself informed and prepared myself for the coming economic crisis, for example, by buying a few commodities such as gold. But I also tried to take a positive view of the crisis. After all, it was an opportunity for many people to find God. There were also other positive aspects; for example, the environment breathed a sigh of relief and the water became cleaner. Dolphins were even spotted in Venice. In general, I thought more about nature and wanted to be more aware of it. For the first time, I realized what God had actually created. We humans had already changed his created earth so much; he couldn't really be happy with that. Despite the positive aspects, there were always situations in which my negative characteristics came through. Even though I tried, I briefly fell off the wagon with porn. But in the meantime, I felt ashamed afterwards and asked God for forgiveness. In general, I prayed a lot more often and deleted the dating apps from my phone because I realized that they were having a negative impact on my life. This was quite a turning point as these were my most used apps. Before I turned back, I had dated for all I was worth, but somehow, I was already feeling a lack of fulfillment. So I deleted the apps several times but reinstalled them a short time later. I was addicted, but now it was over. As the pandemic continued to spread, I also prayed for people who were severely affected by the crisis. At the end of March, I read in the morning devotional that I should invite someone who didn't believe in God that day. However, due to the pandemic, this was not possible and so I didn't give it a second thought. During the day, my neighbor suddenly came by unexpectedly. Unfortunately, I didn't take the opportunity to tell him about Jesus, even though I had the chance to do so. I was very annoyed about this in the evening and decided to send him the link to the livestream of the service. I sent this link to two more friends that week.

Trust

At the beginning of April, I confessed all the sins I had done in my life. I listed all the ones I remembered, and there were many. I was aware it must have been a warning shot from God at the beginning of January that had moved me to repent. However, there had actually been several warning shots before that, which I hadn't noticed until then. In 2015, for example, I narrowly escaped a fire on the Gili Islands in Indonesia. In 2018, a gang tried to rob me in a remote district of Medellin in Colombia. Although I had my iPhone and cash with me, I simply turned around and walked in the other direction at my normal pace. Miraculously, the gang did not chase me. When I told this story to other Colombians, they shook their heads in disbelief. In hindsight, I am sure that God had intervened here. Perhaps he also wanted to save me from something worse, as I was on my way to a very dangerous road. In any case, I was grateful to be alive. I realized that I had fallen into a deep quagmire by the end of December 2019. Jesus had pulled me out of it, for which I was so grateful to him. I just wanted to share that and started the blog. Although I had to stay at home for a long time due to COVID, I was doing great and was never bored. I looked for a mix of tasks or activities every day, for example, by painting the interior doors of my apartment. But I didn't miss out on sport either. I went jogging regularly and did home workouts. Before that, I had usually gone to the gym every other day and taken part in team workouts. I also read a lot more than usual during this time. I noticed that I hardly had time to think about or watch porn anymore. These were further indications that I needed to trust God one hundred percent. I had been struggling with my stocks in particular in the past few days. I continued to ask Jesus for the right steps in my future purchases or sales and for growing trust. A few days later, I had a dream in which my deceased grandpa said to me: "Trust in God!" What proof! My grandpa had always been a faithful Christian, and somehow, I had the feeling that he was aware of my change in heaven.

Now that the Passover was also taking place, I wanted to find out more about it. I couldn't remember it, although I had heard about it many times in my childhood. So I started to read Genesis 1 and 2. This made me understand why this feast was so important. It was celebrated to commemorate the liberation of the people of Israel from Egyptian slavery. I also started to listen not only to deep house or reggae on Spotify but also to worship. This allowed me to honor God even more. Prayer before meals also took on a completely different emphasis in times of COVID. I hadn't really prayed before meals at all in recent years. I made a point of doing that from now on.

Evidence

At Easter I wanted to find out more about it. The ICF church in Zurich offered many livestreams throughout the Easter period. I also read all about the crucifixion in the Bible and wanted to see these biblical places in person. Even though I had already traveled to fifty countries, Israel was still missing from my list. For the first time I actually realized that Jesus had given his life for us and shed his blood. That's why I celebrated Holy Communion. Because of my sinful life, I still had the feeling that I was carrying guilt on my back. I was also shocked that I often still sinned unconsciously. I had lived an ungodly life for twenty years. I simply wanted to get rid of all these ingrained bad habits and confess each sin to God individually. That's how I had learned. I wanted to learn more and was grateful that there was a lot of material on YouTube. One of these sermons talked about the evidence of God's existence. I found it amazing that I had suddenly received so much evidence from God. In the days before, I prayed that I would not doubt but that I would believe in Jesus one hundred percent. I just needed to keep growing in faith and obeying God's commandments so that I would create a framework for breakthroughs in my life. I wanted to keep exercising my faith like in the gym. But to do that, I needed to step out of my comfort zone and do something that challenged my faith. Somehow, I had the feeling that I should promote my blog via Instagram. It wasn't even well known yet. I didn't know if I wanted to, but I wanted more people to find God and hold on to Him. Nevertheless, I still had a lot of inhibitions as I was also revealing a lot of private information. I had also never posted anything about Jesus on my Instagram profile. I changed that on Easter Sunday and posted information about the livestream of an Easter musical in my story. After much deliberation, I created a second Instagram account for the blog. I simply wanted to tell more people about Jesus and, after some perseverance and prayer, I sent my boss the link to the livestream of the Easter service. When I received positive feedback afterwards, I was very touched. I also gave my neighbor, an elderly woman, an Easter basket with my favorite Bible verse for the crisis on her doorstep: "Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you."

Looking ahead

Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon with porn again after Easter, and not just on one day either. I was very disappointed as I thought I had moved on. I didn't feel well at all during the next three days and I ate a lot of sweets. However, I somehow managed to get myself to read a devotional, and it was quite something. It was about not beating myself up about it because negative thoughts wouldn't bring about change. I understood that I had to keep growing. Just like learning to walk, you fall down sometimes, but it was better to look ahead. This was also necessary physically. Due to the ongoing economic crisis, more and more people were in a bad way and many needed help. So I researched where I could do something and contacted a Christian children's home in Thailand and donated money. This was still new to me, as I hadn't donated anything at all for many years. But even then, God showed me more through a sermon by senior pastor Leo Bigger from ICF Zurich. He compared it to a warehouse that was never empty and belonged to God. Everything was available to me and I always had more than enough.

Spirit of God

In the meantime, I prayed very often and read that praying is to us what breathing is to the lungs. Breathing out stale air is confessing and breathing in fresh air is being filled with the Holy Spirit. This was exactly what I wanted to learn more about. So I read Leo Bigger's book Spirit of God. Even the first comparison was great: a frog lived in a well and thought that was all there was to it. One day he climbed up and saw a pond, then the river, and then the sea. God had much more in store than you could imagine. What else was possible with him? One Sunday in April, I asked God for better understanding during the sermon and this prayer was indeed answered. The sermon was preached by Leo Bigger and the message was powerful. He said that even in the Bible there were crises from which people emerged stronger. In a crisis, every life would come apart at the seams and things would come to light. However, we could ask the Holy Spirit to fill our box with new life. That was exactly what I was feeling. The Holy Spirit was working because I was reorganizing my life. COVID played a crucial part in this because it made me much more involved with God. Only now did I understand that God was also very happy that I had come back to him and that the sudden positive experiences in my life were his reward. The Holy Spirit was finally able to work. When he comes into us, we feel the hands and feet of Jesus, and we understand the Bible much better. He lives in us and can give us ideas that would never occur to us and make us do things that we would never actually dare to do. He motivates us to reach the goal of life. We need it for all the important and less important questions in life. If we don't let him work, our lives become much poorer and we miss out on important messages from heaven. I now understood Pentecost properly for the first time. I realized that God had given us his Spirit there. To every believer who decides to live with Jesus. Pentecost is the feast of the Holy Spirit and the birthday of the Church. In my childhood, the Holy Spirit was never an issue, but now I wanted to find out more about him. What about praying, for example? Leo Bigger said that you can ask the Holy Spirit for help in all situations in life. However, he does not magnify himself but God, just as Jesus does. The glory belongs to God.

Sins separate from God

When the lockdown restrictions around COVID were gradually eased, I went to my parents' house for a few days. I told them about my experiences and they were happy. However, my mom didn't approve of share trading as she said you shouldn't speculate. So I did some research in the Bible and it says in Matthew 6:19 that we should only serve God and not money. But I didn't do that and put my trust in God in this matter. At least I tried to. After visiting my parents, I suddenly fell off the wagon again ... and I really did. I became preoccupied with women and porn again. This was my deepest hole since I had found my way back to Jesus. My path to God was actually like a share chart, and there was always a setback. Now it had to go up again, Jesus had to pull me out of the mire again. And he did! As I was watching a series on Netflix on the third day of my slump, I saw a rainbow in the sky outside, which was only visible for a short time. I interpreted this as a sign from God for me. The rainbow stood for God's love for us humans. So I prayed intensely, which I wouldn't have done otherwise. During my low point, however, I had invited a female friend over for cooking a meal the next day. We had met the week before for the first time in three years. Back then, we hadn't just talked to each other ... The week before, surprisingly, I had told her a lot about God and I persevered. During my low point, however, I had other ulterior motives. I asked God to help me and to keep telling her about Him instead. Mark 14:38 says: "Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Unfortunately, the latter prevailed ... There was still a long way to go. I had to acknowledge that there were still many thoughts of this kind in me. I had to strengthen my will, let go of sinful things, and not just think about myself. It didn't matter if it was just a small sin because Jesus doesn't make a distinction between bad and less bad. Sin is sin and it separates us from God. Isaiah 59:2 says: "Your guilt - it stands like a wall between you and God! Your sins cover him, so he does not hear you." The wall simply had to be torn down. A permanent solution began in my heart and only God could change my heart. In John 15 there is a beautiful parable about this, namely that of the vine: only if we remain connected to Jesus can we bear much fruit. It was simply about more than having fun for eighty or more years and getting through life as comfortably as possible. It was about fulfilling the mission God had planned for me. That would be so much more fulfilling and so much more fun than my own life plan.

Full speed

In general, my trust in God grew from day to day. I simply couldn't forget three things: where I came from, who had given me all the good things, and that I needed Jesus, especially during the crisis because you could feel the effects of it more and more. For example, the unemployment figures rose rapidly and I realized that we were at the beginning of an economic crisis. But I didn't always want to see the negative. Unfortunately, I also discovered some negative traits in myself. I wasn't bad at judging people I didn't really know. From now on, I didn't always want to focus on the negative in people but, instead, give more compliments, the way God sees them. Jesus taught his disciples in Luke 6:13 that you should love your enemies and not judge anyone. The next day, I rather unknowingly thanked a colleague for his visit to the office, who was quite surprised and even invited me to his home. When the travel restrictions were lifted, I also planned to hike the Camino de Santiago to intensify my journey with God. Above all, I wanted to learn self-control because I couldn't do anything without it. In keeping with this, I watched the movie I´m off then by Hape Kerkeling. I also read the book 90 Minutes in Heaven, in which a pastor is declared dead in a car accident but wakes up a short time later after a prayer. In the meantime, he was in heaven. It was a very exciting book that motivated me. I just wanted to go full speed, not only in sport but also with Jesus.

God remembers

One night, I dreamt that I was cycling past a house with my cousin, which collapsed shortly afterwards and we only narrowly escaped. When we tried to thank God later, I hardly got a word out. The day before, I had fallen off the wagon with pornography again and so I interpreted the dream to mean that I had days when things were tight in my life and that I was only whispering to God on those days. I had to remember God even more because only he could save me. I wanted to reduce this backsliding at all costs and so I set myself goals. My neck problems in particular had become worse. I had had neck pain for several years, but I never knew why and was therefore unable to tackle the causes. Various orthopedists, physiotherapists, and osteopaths were also unable to help. However, Jesus pointed out to me that my poor posture was the problem. Due to the curfew, I was sitting on the sofa more than usual, which made my posture even worse. So from that point on, I specifically researched exercises to improve my posture. But why did the neck problems get worse? Was it a punishment from God because I had been falling off the wagon more often recently, was it a reminder to do something about my posture, or was it a reward for my lifestyle of faith in God? The argument against punishment was that the positive things predominated and I believed in God with all my heart. Did God punish at all? Opinions on this differed. I believed that God used such things more as a reminder, comparable to the COVID crisis; a wake-up call to clean up our lives. Perhaps he wanted to avert even greater disaster, similar to the warning shots in my case, which I have already written about. In a crisis, everyone has the opportunity to do this and, above all, the chance to get to know God and turn back to Him. Job and Paul also had to go through crises, but they were rewarded in the end through their strong trust in God.

My boss

The lockdown was almost completely lifted in mid-May, but opposition to the restrictions also grew. Unfortunately, it was no longer clear what was true in the media coverage. In keeping with this, I watched the documentary What the Health, which uncovered some dark issues in the healthcare system. On YouTube, I came across the Medical Fitness channel, which was the first time I felt like I was getting anywhere with my posture issues. In addition to my increasingly strong memory of an upright posture, the days went really well for me. I helped my foreign neighbors fill out applications, built up a friend from my church, a higher unjustified reclaim from DHL was finally withdrawn, and the pharmaceutical company Novavax, of which I owned shares, reported progress because of their vaccine. The value then tripled within a week. God was so all-powerful; he had power over companies and organizations, and he was, simply, my boss. I couldn't thank him enough for that.

Positive change

Sometimes, however, I was still selfish and I realized that when I prayed. I wanted to be more compassionate and think more about other people. At that time, many people were affected by anxiety. When I asked the Holy Spirit for a sign of where I could help, ten minutes later I came across the Open Doors organization on the internet, which was committed to helping persecuted Christians. I had never heard of this before and was shocked by the reports. So I made a donation and wrote a message of encouragement for persecuted Christians in North Korea, which would be broadcast on the radio there. The Holy Spirit helped me with the choice of words. I was also able to encourage people around me. For example, I supported a friend from my church who was going through a difficult time and kept falling off the wagon with pornography.

The change happened automatically the closer I got to God.

My doctor

Recently, I have had more and more experiences of the Holy Spirit giving me answers or life hacks. I kept receiving advice on what I could do even better, especially with regard to my posture. Jesus was also my physiotherapist and doctor. Because of my bad posture, I was more concerned with the anatomy of the body. It is so fascinating how God created us humans. Since we sleep for about twenty-four years of our life, I decided to buy a new bed with a hard mattress and also tried lying on my back without a pillow. My neck problems disappeared more and more, but the cause—my bad posture—had not yet been addressed. I was sure that God could correct my spine immediately, but the exercises from Medical Fitness were certainly a good activity and I could even listen to sermons on the side. It was a process that Jesus accompanied and noticed my growth. My pastor said that God often says to us, "Let me fight", but sometimes he also says, "You fight, I am with you!" The Holy Spirit became very present again at Pentecost. ICF Zurich held various online celebrations throughout the day. These included a sermon on praying in tongues. At the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, everyone began to speak in foreign languages as the Spirit prompted them. Until then, I was somehow still afraid of this, as I was completely unfamiliar with it from my upbringing. But after reading the Bible passage in 1 Corinthians 14:1-4, I dared to do it and was fascinated that it worked. It serves to simply continue to grow and strengthen your personal faith. You speak to God, and what you speak through the Spirit of God remains a secret. In my opinion, a great sign of trust. I wanted to give God the steering wheel completely and put my trust in Him. I wanted Him to be my judge over my life. Fittingly, I watched the movie The Shack, in which this also came to the fore once again.

Economy

Although the economy fell dramatically, the stock market painted a different picture. The DAX rose and rose, and in the first week of June, had already gained fifty percent since the drop in March. This was due to the fact that governments and central banks made vast amounts of money available. The stock market was once again trading in the future, which had also been the case in the two previous crises. Many inexperienced private investors in particular opened accounts and traded shares at high risk. The only question was when the wave of bankruptcies would begin. Inflation would be the result. However, I still had the feeling that God was continuing to prepare me for the crisis. So in the next few days, I was able to change a few positions in my stock portfolio and put my trust in my financial manager. I felt like Jacob preparing for the famine. Besides, I had made a profit on my shares in the last four months, but I also donated a tenth of it, just like the Bible said. Nevertheless, I no longer wanted to give the shares so much weight because I was dealing with them every day. It had now been six months since I had turned back to God and everything had improved. I was infinitely grateful to God for that. Due to my short-time work, I had more time every day to spend with Him. I had such great experiences and hadn't fallen off the wagon for two weeks. I also had the best fitness coach in the world. The gyms reopened and at every training session, Jesus gave me tips on how to do the exercises properly. I realized that I had used to do some exercises incorrectly, which of course had an impact on my bad posture. And I even saw more changes. For example at the gym, I also had a great conversation with a coach who I actually didn't really like.

Way of St. James—wandering with Jesus

In June, I decided to hike part of the German Way of St. James (Camino de Santiago) from Frankfurt/Oder to Berlin. Incidentally, there are many Ways of St. James, all of which lead to Santiago de Compostela, where the tomb of the apostle James is located. He was martyred around thirty years after the death of Jesus. I walked a total of seventy kilometers in two days and talked to God almost continuously along the way. Right at the beginning, I came across a sign with the name of my Russian ex-girlfriend on it. This gave me the impetus to think about my previous six relationships and why they broke up. I analyzed all my mistakes. In general, I reflected on my past and asked God if there was anything else what was holding me back. He pointed out some photos on my phone, which I then deleted. It was only a few days earlier that I had realized another mistake from my past. In December 2019, when I was in Thailand, I met employees of the Thai government who had just come from the birthday party of the Thai king's daughter. They wanted to know where I came from, and after a while, they took me to a Buddhist temple and two monks who blessed us all. At the time, I just wanted to experience tradition and thought nothing of it. I confessed this to Jesus again but also had the feeling that I should look forward. On the second day, God drew my attention to the relationship between him and me. So I thought about what his wishes for me actually were. It shouldn't always just be about me because in a relationship both of us had to be happy. During the day, God showed me in various ways what he wanted from me. It started with a message from a friend who thought it was cool that I was hiking the Camino de Santiago. A friend of mine had already written to me the day before to say that she thought it was great and that she was impressed by me. She said that I was always so positive and that I was fun to talk to. So God also spoke through other people to motivate me or to give me compliments. That's exactly what he wanted me to do. In a church in Fürstenwalde, I donated something for the new organ. Mercy was another wish for me. Shortly afterwards, I met a dark-skinned mother and thought about the fact that I needed to become more tolerant towards other people. Sometimes, I still had my prejudices. On the journey, I read James 5:13, where it says that we should sing songs of praise, which I did. Jesus' wish was for me to praise him even more. I also prayed a prayer in tongues. As I walked through the forest and noticed nature, I thought about how God could speak to me through nature and asked him about it. I had read a few days earlier that he could do this. A short time later, I saw a butterfly flying in front of me and sitting down in front of me again and again. Every time I reached it, it flew a little further, always staying on the path. This went on for about two minutes. I couldn't believe it. When it then disappeared, I asked God if he could show me another such experience. Doubts arose. A short time later, a dragonfly came and did the same thing for another two minutes or so. It was simply overwhelming. Jesus wanted me to always stay on his path. Shortly before reaching my destination, I got lost in the woods and had to run to catch my train. I prayed for motivation because after seventy kilometers, my legs and feet were still very sore. I wonder what it was like back when Jesus preached the gospel with his disciples in sandals. I reached the train just in time. The journey was not always easy, but with God's help, you could always reach your destination.

Conversations with God

God's plan