8 Steps to Forever After E-Book

Antonio Cipriani

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 493

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Most dream of it, many try, quite a few fail and yet they all want it. A happy and long-lasting relationship. Why do some succeed and others not? We all want to have a happy and harmonious love relationship. But in every relationship there are crises and difficult phases that are exhausting, frustrating and even tormenting. In these moments we often do not know how to behave appropriately. In addition, we often do not understand why the whole mess is happening. What are the secrets of a harmonious partnership? Love? Sex? Habit? Or just the right thought patterns in the right situation. Antonio Cipriani presents what psychology, partner therapists, medicine and behavioral research have found out about long-term partnerships in this amusing and interesting guide. Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult for many people over thirty to find a partner? Maybe they're looking at the wrong things when it comes to potential partners. Many people are torn between the longing for love and the need to be independent and free. This psychological conflict leads to their relationships failing again and again or even not developing at all. Or do you want to save your almost failed relationship? You can't do that just by reading a book. However, targeted food for thought or rethinking can resolve failed situations and initiate the necessary dialogue between the cramped partners. Plus, in this book, you can learn the whole truth about women, men, and relationships straightforward and blunt. In this book you can learn how to properly satisfy a woman and what a man would like to have in bed. Spiegel readers say: -You want more Sex? Then read the book!-

Leseprobe

Content

Step 1

Focus on your goal

Step 2

Create your best Look

Step 3

Pay attention to your demeanor and behavior

Step 4

Search strategies / communication / market research

Step 5

The art of seduction

Step 6

Let's talk about sex openly

Step 7

Moral values / sincerity / conscience

Step 8

Believe and choose love

Recipe

Lasagne Bolognese (for an unforgettable dinner)

Other

The 15 Best Dating Websites / February 2022

Author Antonio Cipriani

Prolog

„ 8 Steps to Forever After “

„How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours..“

Dr. Wayne Dyer

It happened in an open-air theater in Old Venice, where, after a wonderful theatrical performance, I decided to work on a relationship guide. After decades of experience through seminars or meetings with numerous clients, nine out of ten partnerships can be improved significantly with ease. This basic principle has always made me very confident of victory. Because a love relationship between two individuals is one of the most important tasks in life, as love is the basis of our happiness. But how does a harmonious partnership succeed? How and what can you do to make your relationship better? Questions like this preoccupy many people who are trapped in a marriage or relationship and who experience hell on earth.

The longings and expectations of such people come to nothing, their needs are not respected, there is only anger waiting at all times, sometimes aggression and darkness. Instead of harmony and solidarity, one only finds despair and coldness in the partner. And as is so often the case, you don't know yourself why you are continuing the relationship. But most of them feel unfaithful or tormented by guilt when they think about separation. After all, the other person has done so much for the person, possibly given up so much, expectantly given his heart and intimate things and now you want to trample him with such a line. Isn't that what you're thinking?

For many it is certainly true and they are totally wrong. Because a relationship is based on affection and voluntariness and not on expectation and selfishness. And if you have done everything to save your partnership, but still could not achieve any improvement, you do not need to have a guilty conscience. At the latest, if at some point you really collapse and are nervously at the end, the relationship would collapse anyway. In the end, you not only lost your partner, but also your health and zest for life.

Basically, you also give your counterpart a new chance of happiness when you release him. Besides, they deserve it when they have done so much for you that you are honest with them. Because of this, you are not immediately a traitor or a bad person, as most partners claim afterwards. You don't want your partner to be unhappy, you just want one to be happy without the other. Basically, it's something like self-defense.

A relationship is a give and take and if this rationale is not followed then this alliance cannot work. A member of my family who has lived in a hell relationship for years also mentions “pity” as the main reason for not acting.

One imagines that the other is going to suffer and is very concerned that they will not be able to cope with this pain or financially on their own. Especially when the family ties or the circle of friends are perhaps not particularly large. Wouldn't it be cruel and cruel to do such a thing to him? Here, too, the answer is a resounding "No!"

Your partner is not a small child, but was an independent individual before their relationship or marriage and you are not responsible for this person either. He too will find his way and find his new happiness again.

The universe cares for us all. In addition, the alternative to this decision is not a harmonious relationship with rainbow and sunshine, but a dark, cold tunnel full of lies and anger, at the end of which there is only greater disappointment. And as I say so beautifully to my clients, at the end of every tunnel there is also light. Basically, you let your partner go, because if you act out feelings that are no longer there, they cannot start a new relationship. You should also feel sorry for yourself because you deserve a full and happy life.

We are sure to agree that the affection and physical attraction in a love relationship is simply fantastic, especially in the first few months. Perhaps you still remember how in the first few weeks you were totally in love, constantly having to think about the other person or constantly touching each other.

At every meeting you had butterflies in your stomach and every thought of your partner filled you with joy. But is it possible that you will regain this state of being in love with your current partner? Is it possible to reawaken mutual desire? Can it be possible that this love will stay alive forever?

Now let's be realistic. It has been proven that in most love relationships the first flattening and also certain disappointment can occur after 6 months at the latest. We know that there are crises and conflicts in every human relationship.

Several factors can be to blame, one of the main reasons can be stressful everyday life or different habits. In addition, boredom creeps in, digging a ditch between the two sides very quietly and unnoticed.

We know that in big cities every second marriage fails within the first three years. But it would be nice if you could still get a little bit of the magic of the first phase of love. Otherwise a love relationship would only be a community of convenience in which one organizes the household, helps each other in the event of illness or raises the offspring.

That is certainly not all. So what most of us are looking for is familiarity and recognition. We can feel this when we enter the apartment after a stressful day, our partner greets us with a kiss, the food is on the table and we feel that we have arrived. Or we wake up in the morning, the partner is still yawning, you hug each other briefly and you start the day with love. Perhaps you will argue that love is more. You can also feel the security with your parents, relatives and grandparents. And when our love relationship is getting on in years, we still often feel a feeling of security, while the erotic has fallen by the wayside.

So what is typical about love, what makes us soar at the beginning, why are we so crazy that we would run for hours to see the other? Because we feel so infinitely strong and alive in the beginning when we are infested with love.

The love of one person is enough for us to feel that we can overcome all difficulties. And that's not an exaggeration, love can really move mountains. This magic can inspire us and give us new perspectives. But the bottom line is that “I” am the most important thing in the world for another person. I am very special to this person and this fact also increases your own appreciation.

I feel recognized and loved by the other. I feel understood and respected by this person. I get an enormous amount of care and recognition from him. I am unique to this person, a wonderful person. And this partner is generally also ready to meet my wishes and needs. This person wants me to be fine. That's why I float and feel incredibly strong.

Antonio Cipriani

The Change

How can you expect that something will change in your life if you are not ready rearrange your thoughts, your actions and change yourself.

Antonio Cipriani Author and Poet

Step 1

Focus on your goal

In Most training courses, seminars and motivational courses, as well as advanced courses, preach that concentration and total dedication to a new strategy is the basis of every new goal setting. In simple terms, this means dedicating oneself intensively to the goal that has been set. Without any excuses, pretenses and unnecessary loss of time. Any professional or motivator in the field of goal setting who has incredible salaries in their pockets for their services knows that investing every resource of energy in a new and important venture is an absolute priority.

Although the participants of such seminars also know very well that what they are hearing is absolutely logical and already known to you. However, you voluntarily pay hundreds or even thousands of euros to hear the same thing over and over again, just in a different version. With energy and determination in their eyes, those leave the seminar room and in that moment you could uproot trees. At that moment, you even want to conquer the world. But as soon as you are in your own walls and are gripped by everyday life again, this euphoria evaporates, like a perfume that was applied hours ago and the effect has simply evaporated. As soon as you look around you are back in your hamster wheel. From day to day, of course, the intention, the energy, the motivation fade and in the end the intention fades and the money is gone.

The truth is, for many, it's easier to get a myriad of things halfway done than to do one important thing really well. One hundred percent attention and commitment is required for a successful project. They sometimes look for the craziest tasks, such as cleaning the apartment or washing the car, wasting their precious time instead of using your strength and energy on the one important thing.

Put yourself the absolute priority

It is not enough to wish for a partner, to visualize him or to have a little desire to find one. To get quick results from this book, finding a partner must become your top priority. If you are not prepared to set the project “Finding the right partner” as an absolute priority and give it one hundred percent, then leave it and read this book no further. Just put it away and spend your time elsewhere. As usual, surf the net, social networks and post bullshit all day long. What many do not understand or perhaps do not want to understand that what is posted on social networks is 75% fake.

Most of the photos and images that are posted there have been edited, provided with numerous filters and mostly just fakes. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, has managed to enslave humanity with simple "likes". Nowadays it is no longer like the old René Descartes once said: "I think so I am?" Today it is: "I share, so I am?"

I sometimes have to shake my head when I see groups of people or even single couples sitting opposite each other and only busy with their cell phones. It seems to me that people are no longer talking to each other, they are just typing.

A beautiful woman is sitting there all alone and no one speaks to her, but everyone prefers to play with the cell phone and miss the reality around them. Is not that crazy? One of my clients once told me that she sometimes sits for hours in a café, bar or restaurant and is not approached by anyone. I can't believe she's still single because the woman is not only intelligent and educated, but also looks beautiful. Only nowadays are people no longer brave enough to speak to a stranger. Therefore, you need to change your everyday life. Change your mind. Let us re-model your environment and your habits. You have to want it with all your heart and go to the extreme for it.

Just getting a little involved is like swimming against the current with full clothes in a deep river and stones in your pockets. You're not going anywhere. You move, you waste a lot of energy and time, but in the end you are always in the same place. Without wanting to, but knowing full well, one shifts the desired goal into ever more distant future. You always have to be ready for the right moment. Always be vigilant for the perfect moment so that you can grasp it immediately. Like a predator lying in wait.

We are surrounded by forces, energies, from different constellations that we cannot explain. A friend once asked me: “Do you believe in coincidence? Are there any coincidences? What is a coincidence? " To be honest, I have not been able to give specific answers to these questions. But these make you wonder. The great Sigmund Freud once said that there are no coincidences. Everything happens and happens the way it's supposed to happen. If it really is, it means that we are being guided more or less.

That everything is already predetermined. Of course, these are only assumptions and no one can confirm it for me. I just know that you have to be vigilant in order to be able to recognize the right moment, to be able to seize it and make something great out of it. So I think there is no such thing as happiness. What is luck? A very old friend of mine once said to me: "You have to be in the right place, at the right time and do the right thing, and only then is victory yours." And that can only happen by never giving up and trying again and again. That goes for everything in life. Not just for relationships, but also for finances, for professional life, for diets, and for all sorts of goals a human being can set.

It's like playing the lottery, of course, mathematically winning is almost impossible. However, in Germany alone there are almost 4,000 new millionaires every year just through the lottery. The fact is, if you don't fill out a slip, the chances of winning are zero. In order to be able to win something, even if the chances are very slim, you have to fill out a form.

I just want to make it clear that sometimes you have to do something small in order to be able to achieve great things. Like an avalanche that can only be set in motion by a small stone. In the coming years it will be even more difficult to find the right partner. It becomes more important than a new job than your friends, beloved pet, hobbies, or anything else that takes up most of your time. This project requires absolute concentration and total focus. Focus on that goal and bite into it like a pit bull who has bitten once and never lets go.

When I meet a new student for the first time, I know immediately whether he or she has what it takes to find a suitable partner in the next few months or two years at the latest. I can see it in their posture, the way they dress, and their personal hygiene. I pay attention to the movements, to how they articulate themselves, to the manners, to the self-confidence and to the aura that they exude.

These are characteristics and manners that are very easy to recognize in a person and make up their external appearance superficially. If the person dresses 08/15, does not groom themselves, does not style their hair or has not shaved in days, then it is easy to get an idea of the person's appearance.

But the subject of external appearance and the best look will be discussed in more detail later. Perhaps you discovered this book on the Internet, heard about it in one of my seminars, or perhaps you came across it through a good friend who successfully followed the instructions in this book and has recently been happily married. I always say everything happens for a reason. I believe this book picked you. So take the chance and change your personality and your life. When a new, totally insecure friend or client comes to me, they can hardly wait to take the first step.

The person is about to bombard me with questions about why he's still single. He or she has a firm belief that he / she is doing everything right in life. And don't like to talk about yourself, your past relationships or your own problems. Most of the time, however, the deepest doubts and thoughts or the deepest fears are kept hidden. But it is precisely these that need to be brought to light in order to make a radical change.

To be able to reprogram a person's subconscious. Instead, the most frequently asked questions are: "What do I have to do first? How can I get to know someone quickly? Or, where can I get to know someone and, ideally, the person should be wealthy".

When the person is really determined to find a partner, to take this program seriously, to change internally and externally, then our journey together begins. Together we will eliminate or reprogram these stubborn habits that are firmly anchored in the subconscious, like an ulcer that is not easy to get rid of, and if you are also ready to let yourself be guided, then I am for the near future Your future spouse.

The struggle with and within yourself

Our whole life is shaped by decisions. Do I wear blue or black jeans today? Do I eat a croissant or a bread roll for breakfast? Do I take the car today or do I prefer to take public transport to work? Should I give my partner another chance and stay with him or should I split up? Is my job right for me or should I look for another job?

Most of the decisions we make in our everyday lives are very easy to make and they don't keep us busy for long. If you have to decide at the breakfast table, for example, whether you should rather take the jam or Nutella out of the kitchen cupboard, then there are various options for choosing the jam. Either you are a creature of habit and eat a slice of bread with Nutella every morning, then the question no longer arises as to whether it is jam or Nutella.

The question has already been decided by the built-in habit. Without such a ritual, you may be guided by your gut instinct. “I like Nutella much better than jam anyway, then I'd rather eat Nutella bread”. Your emotions are very helpful in this. Your sensations show you intuitively what will bring the best result for you, without you having to think about it too much. This saves you a lot of thought, which is known to be very helpful, especially in the early morning. Or you can make up your mind. "Jam is much healthier and contains less sugar, so maybe I should avoid Nutella."

This is certainly not about decisions of this kind, because making them happens automatically. It looks completely different when it comes to difficult decisions.

They can literally tie you up and hold you captive. In this chapter, I'll show you when you will recognize that you are in a bind, how to deal with the uneasy feelings it brings, and what will help you make such difficult decisions. And it is easier and more effortless.

Let's take a typical example. Your relationship has not been so rosy for a few years. You no longer feel as cared for and loved as at the beginning. Everything has changed since then. You notice it with every action, because a huge rift has opened between you, which is getting deeper and wider from month to month. The distance that has arisen between you cannot be dissolved again so easily. You are now faced with a difficult decision that will bring about major changes.

Therefore, you are tormented every day by the question of whether to continue to stay with your partner or would it be better to leave him for good, with all the consequences that the whole thing entails? You will certainly feel and hear the different voices in your head very clearly. Like two devils on their shoulders. A good one on the one hand and a bad one on the other. On the one hand, you think that you've been through so much together over the years.

Suddenly, all the beautiful memories come up again, about good times and unforgettable moments. Maybe the relationship can still be saved, even if you just don't know how? And what should happen to the children when you are no longer with your partner? Maybe another partner will come along and treat the children badly. You can't do that to your partner or the children. And how would relatives and mutual friends think about it? On the other hand, you are also aware that it cannot go on like this any longer.

They know that doing so would make you unhappy to stay with that person in the long run. Sexually nothing works either and you haven't slept with each other in ages. You can clearly feel that you have grown apart and you actually see no more possibility of approaching each other again in any way, because you have already tried so many things and nothing has worked. Decisions are incredibly important because they shape our entire everyday life. A decision brings change with it. And only through change can personal growth, happiness and love arise. Everything changes and everything is interlinked.

We make a lot of decisions every day, whether we want to or not. When we are unable to make decisions for ourselves, others make them for us. Every day we have to decide how to plan the day, how to eat, what to wear, what places to visit and who to surround ourselves with. In most cases, we make gut decisions. Some of them are easy to meet while others take some time to think about. Important life decisions are harder to make because they can bring about major changes, but long reflection is not always necessary. But then there is an entirely different set of decisions.

The decisions that feel so difficult that in the end we don't make any decisions and yet we are unhappy with them. There is a real struggle going on within us. And quite often in such moments you are stuck in a bind and torment yourself.

The right decision can make you the winner of your life. Those who cannot make up their minds get stuck in their run-in hamster wheel and thereby block their own happiness. Decide to leave your gray and boring everyday life behind and live the way you want. Don't postpone anything until tomorrow, because every moment is unique and never comes back. Make the decision today, confidently and without fear, not to leave anything to chance.

So are you ready for the journey into your own “you”?

To understand whether you are ready to go through this regimen with me, you must answer the following priority questions openly, positively, and as honestly as possible. You may find it socially unacceptable and perhaps not right to answer “yes” to all questions. At most you don't want to trumpet it out loud or you are not ready for it yet, but it is enough if you just nod. And if you don't want to answer at all, then at least tell yourself and be honest with yourself. It takes a lot of courage, effort and strength to change many things in life that are important to you all at once. But remember, you cannot make life changes if you keep doing the same thing.

Important Questions:

1. Are you ready to change your appearance, your surroundings and your habits if necessary?

2. Are you ready to open up, to reveal your thoughts, your desires and your inner self?

3. Are you ready to rethink your circle of friends and possibly avoid some friends?

4. Is finding a partner the most important goal in your life?

5. Are you ready to do everything within the framework of legality and morality to find a partner?

6. Are you ready to invest your time, energy and, of course, money and do whatever is necessary to find your future partner?

7. How strong is your faith in God?

It is possible that you do not immediately answer all the questions asked with a “yes” or you are still undecided. Perhaps it is not the right time to start this innovation in your life or you are unsure and still need time.

But if you have been feeling this tormenting feeling deep inside you for a long time, you feel dissatisfied, unhappy and do not know how to change it. When you have doubts and fears eat you up and no matter how much you ponder it, you won't get a green branch. No matter how much you flip and twist it, you don't know how to do it. You may also be restless, wake up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to sleep, so you are tired during the day, cannot concentrate and your bad mood can be felt for meters. In the long run it will get worse and worse, because your body does not last long, the consequences can be devastating. High blood pressure can occur, you are plagued by constant headaches, tension in the neck area, insomnia and this can then drag on like a rat's tail to chronic and mental illnesses.

Do you want to get that far? What are you waiting for? Wouldn't this be the right time to start? You have to do something now. Don't come with anybody now: “I'm too fat. I have no time. I'm too attractive, too old or too this or that. ”Because these are just excuses and just reasons not to start anything. Most of them want changes, they want everything but not do anything for it. Remember the lottery ticket, you have to fill it in to win.

If you are still struggling with your doubts or are not ready for whatever reason, it does not mean that you have to give up this regimen. On the contrary, read on and pick any idea that you like best. You will begin to rearrange your thoughts and your actions will also become more confident as a result. Always remember that your future partner is out there looking for you too.

Even if you don't proceed in this given order every time you encounter, you will still acquire many different tactics and options that can help you live out your romance to the fullest. With every new encounter, with every new attempt, you will make important progress, even if you often have to take setbacks and are not on the fastest path.

What does the absolute focus mean?

If you have answered the above questions positively, we are half the battle. It's a very good start already, and of course, if your absolute focus is to find a partner, action has to follow words. Most of my clients and even friends often say that they are getting married as soon as possible, that they want to raise a family and have lots of children, but then you boycott what you are doing yourself and create all kinds of obstacles that prevent you from achieving your goals .

It's funny to see how most people start fully motivated and euphoric, with plenty of ideas and courage in their hearts, but after a few weeks, and for some even days, the air is out. Like a sprinter who expends all the energy in the first few meters. And as soon as they look around, most of them are sitting in front of the television with slippers again and have again classified the project of finding a partner in life as not so important.

In the event of discrepancies, as in many other situations in everyday professional or private life, it is important not to lose yourself, to keep focus and not to lose sight of the actual goal. But in the heat of the moment it is not always easy. Many give up pretty quickly as soon as they encounter obstacles and things don't go as smoothly as they imagine, then they ditch everything and find all sorts of excuses not to continue. And these are the candidates who can hardly wait to return to their boring comfort zone and vegetate there. And these are the three biggest fears that make many people reluctant to leave their comfort zone: The first fear is failure. The second fear is the fear of exertion and the third is the fear of rejection.

You don't have to face these fears within the comfort zone, but this leaves the chance for growth and innovation by the wayside. You will inevitably not be able to find new acquaintances, personal happiness, new experiences, professional success, physical health or personal progress within your comfort zone, but you have to take the step outside.

If you dare to step out of your comfort zone, you will first come into a zone of fear that is uncomfortable and torments you with insecurity and rejection. If you get through this, you will come to a learning zone, where you can gain self-experience and build selfconfidence. Only then do you come to the growth zone, where you can experience self-confidence and satisfaction. You have to get out of your comfort zone in order to change your life. Of course, you can do this by setting priorities and always keeping your goal in mind.

So surround yourself with people who are better than you and from whom you can learn something. Pick people whose behavior is better than yours and you will gravitate in that direction.

People with a positive attitude manage to motivate, encourage and inspire those around them as well. They're not just having a good time, they're making every moment a great one. These people are incredibly important because they stimulate you not only on an emotional and spiritual level, but also on an intellectual level.

Always remember: Equal and Equal join with ease. Therefore, start sending out positive feelings and thoughts yourself. That doesn't mean that you have to pretend to be completely. Stay true to yourself, but stay inquisitive, curious, listen to others and support them in their planned goals. Set achievable goals and talk to your feedback group about what you would like to achieve in the near future.

Those who set realistic goals are often more motivated and happier, as their own future can be controlled in this way. Write your goals on a pad or create a collage of pictures that you keep in mind to remind yourself of your goals over and over again. Good vibes, contentment, and happiness are contagious, so smile whenever you can. Even if you don't feel like it, smiling can make you a little happier and your colleagues will thank you too.

From the comfort zone to the development phase:

Comfort zone:

Wellbeing - Control - Security - Habit - Pole of calm

Fear zone:

Anxiety - Insecurity - Panic – Disorientation

Learning zone:

Novelty - self-confidence - self-realization - courage-building

Development zone:

Motivation - goal setting - feeling of happiness - self-discovery – fun

So start with "you" and take responsibility for yourself, because only "you" are responsible for your well-being. Nobody else will deliver the perfect partner to your door, like an ordered pizza, and then tell you: “Open the door. Your new partner is here. ”Not your business partners, not your family, and not even your super best friends will do this. The less responsibility you take for yourself, the worse you will be. And there is no point in blaming other people more and more.

You don't like your life, you don't like yourself either, and you just whine. And where should such a way of thinking lead, is probably clear: you just feel worse every day. You will likely never leave the apartment and of course let yourself go. Until at some point you feel so shitty that you yourself realize that you have to change something. So take responsibility for your happiness now, not when it is too late.

That is why you start today to make your own decisions and to consciously go in the direction you want to go. Go ahead and pull it off without whining or grumbling. Don't overdo it at the beginning, take small steps. Set new, small goals every day and be happy when you see positive changes too. But do not overwhelm yourself, otherwise you can quickly lose motivation.

With this tactic you train your decision-making ability, your ego; and you will be well equipped to make bigger, more difficult decisions. In addition, you will never again waste your time and energy in the endless riot of thoughts that lead to sleepless nights.

Maintaining focus plays a major role almost everywhere in life, increasingly in business, in everyday life and in private surroundings. Being able to stay focused even in difficult situations should always be an elementary attitude. This also makes a successful person, because where many give up, precisely that person remains focused and doggedly pursues his dream. On the other hand, if you get bogged down and lose focus, things can easily get over your head. The fears gain the upper hand and the success does not materialize. The eternal dreamer. And that happens pretty quickly for most of them.

Nowadays we are all challenged more and more in all areas of life, we want to bring the diverse needs and demands under one roof, which can be extremely stressful and increase the stress level. People are impatient, everything has to happen pretty quickly and be instantly realizable. Developments such as the much discussed “burnout syndrome” are likely to be the cause here. Nevertheless, it is crucial to sharpen your eyes and stay focused so as not to let the everyday obstacles dissuade you from reaching your goal. It is therefore important to set priorities.

Even when talking to potential partners, it is advisable to choose the topics carefully so that you can try to lead the conversation. Of course it is important not to lose sight of yourself and to stay in control. How nice it would be if there was an invention for it, just like the automatic focus in photography. Always perfectly aligned, always razor-sharp and adapted to the respective situation without having to worry about further adjustments. You are constantly connected to not losing sight of the goal and staying focus at every opportunity.

In many books about motivation, success or even spirituality it is always reported and firmly confirmed that everyone is responsible for their own life, for their own happiness, well-being and their own "I". All motivators, teachers and even psychologists at various seminars and lectures affirm that everyone has to do something on their own in order to be happy. That each and every one of us is responsible for our own well-being.

Many authors or matchmakers write about what you should do to find the perfect partner. What many don't specifically say is that you shouldn't be looking for the perfect partner because they don't exist. But for a partner who suits you, like a lid on a saucepan. A partner for life. A person to love with all the quirks and habits that you may not like at first. After all, you will fall in love with these quirks and habits that this person carries with them and that also make him or her a special and unique person. After all, you also have quirks and habits that the partner should accept that togetherness can be possible. You should be able to accept setbacks, adapt and change because a relationship is a give and take.

You may see it differently or have mixed feelings about getting involved with a new partner again. You may have concerns that are still based on old scars, premonitions or fears that you have not yet fully processed. Old family disappointments that have hurt you very much or anger that is still seething in you.

The following sections will help you understand, or rather ask yourself, whether you are really ready for this step. They explain what to do if you see this endeavor as an absolute priority in your life.

The search for a partner is associated with costs

The search for the right partner is not only associated with time, effort and a lot of energy, but also with costs. And by cost, I also mean real money. I would be delighted if I could tell you that I have some secret tips in store so that you don't have to hold money, but unfortunately I have to disappoint you. A successful partner search is associated with investments.

First and foremost there are the direct costs, such as registering for reputable dating sites or marriage agencies, tickets for certain events, hip parties and many other things that can be decisive for success. Certainly there are also free dating sites or dating sites, but such providers are mostly dubious and the profiles that are displayed there are mostly not verified and therefore not genuine. Most of the times, the pretty photos hide unscrupulous scammers trying to find a victim.

And then there are the indirect costs, or the personal costs, which are important for improving the appearance, such as new fashionable clothes, hairdressers, aesthetics, fitness centers and various diets. Of course, the costs can vary and depending on the various situations, the effort can be considerable.

You may be starting from scratch. You may even need to buy a computer and have an Internet connection installed in your home before you can start chatting on the Internet. It is also possible that you live in the country and do not have good network reception, so you have to move to a more densely populated, more central area in order to be better connected. Don't panic about these burdensome costs. As any good businessman would tell you, invest cost effectively, broadly, and best of all for the long term.

Invest wisely and sensibly in the hope that the investment will pay off again in the future. It's like investing in a new business by setting up different office spaces or getting new machines. You also have costs for the procurement of materials and personnel costs. And to increase the radius, you should run targeted advertising campaigns so that you can land as many orders as possible.

The return on investment would then be a profitable business. In our case, the return on investment is finding the right partner. So the first thing to do is to set a budget to cover the costs that will surely arise in order to be able to find your future partner. Of course, each of you will have a different amount of money available for this project or will be willing to give it, but as a general rule it would be advisable to dedicate 10% of your annual income to this project. Of course, if you can provide 15% or more, you increase your chances. Therefore, by all means, you increase your chances. The higher the stake, the more successful the undertaking can be. The more you are willing to invest, the more likely and timely success will be revealed to you.

What could be more satisfying than turning the money you have invested into joy in order to be able to realize your deepest dreams? What better use can you get for your money than finally being able to meet your long-awaited partner and be able to laugh with them, have fun and spend your life with them?

It is not absolutely necessary that the amount in question comes from the current pay slip. You can also withdraw it from your savings from a savings account or from an investment that you may be able to liquidate early.

Many will now say: “Oh no, not the capital investment or not my savings account. This savings will not be touched. " Certainly most of these savings have been put aside for retirement provisions, for their own home or for important investments. What we are talking about right now is a fundamental investment, a life change, if not the most important one. It's about your prosperity, your love life and a happy future. What good is it if at some point you have amassed a large chunk of money and then sit alone in your beautiful home?

This is a serious mistake that many make. Most think to buy a house first, secure themselves financially and then concentrate on finding a partner. But then it can be too late. Perhaps you will no longer have the energy and motivation that you now have. The older you get, the less likely it is to meet the right partner.

You then have much less time to consolidate the partnership, for any planning or even for children. The common growth is simply missing and it is difficult to compromise or make changes. It takes years to get to know a person properly, to be able to trust that person or to go through fire for that person. So do not push your love happiness to the last place, because this should even be in the first place and then build the future together with this person. The most precious thing we do not have in abundance is time.

This is the great fear of many who know that they are simply wasting their lives on unimportant things, but will do nothing for it and consciously postpone their goals and their dreams until tomorrow. Just no effort, just no risk, then nothing can go wrong. For these people, time will always be their worst enemy. Such people get stuck in their hamster wheel, simply can't get any further and only complain. Avoid such negative people, even if they are very good friends or even family members.

They know everything best, are real masters at destroying the dreams of others, are real energy robbers and try to have their own failures justified by their fellow men, friends and relatives. Like a drug, they rob your senses, your nerves, your time and can take up a lot of space in your actions, thoughts and feelings. These have the ability to arouse the deepest fears in you, to make you insecure and thereby to slow you down. They whine continuously, complain about everything and everyone, they make themselves victims and tie you up like a spider in a web. Avoid such people, do not be disrespectful or rude to them and, if unavoidable, indulge in small talk, but avoid such people if possible. They are contagious, very negative, and poison to your ears.

Avoid or at least reduce participation in the beloved coffee party, because these are mostly attended by singles who only complain about couples, only say negative things and gossip about everyone. So hang out with people who give you energy, who motivate you, give you courage and support you. You notice this when you feel comfortable, motivated and enjoy talking to these people. Therefore, set your own standards, avoid wasting time and do not allow yourself to be negatively influenced. You can set ambitious time limits for the respective task here and don't let yourself be distracted from your path.

For those who have understood how precious every minute, every hour, every day is and have grasped the essence of impermanence for themselves, time becomes an ally, a silent companion, a precious possession, a chest full of memories, everyone Savor the moment of our life like a lovely wine that steals your senses.

On the subject of time and the environment, we will go into some more important points later.

To come back to the savings, I want to quote an old proverb. And this says: "Without moss, nothing going on."

There is a great deal of truth in these four short words. I want to make it clear that a certain investment is absolutely necessary. Many of you have certainly set aside a certain amount for the darker times, for possible emergencies. Well, this is an emergency. You should see partnering as an emergency and an important part of your wellbeing. It is fundamental to rethink and reorganize, because it is very important to use the right resources to find a partner. The search for the happiness of love is to be equated with a dark time. Meeting the right person can change your life and turn the otherwise cloudy, dark and cloudy days into a wonderful sunny day.

And if you haven't set aside any reserves, consider taking out a loan. You may not get any more money from the banks, then there is the possibility of asking family members or good friends for it. It doesn't have to be a large sum, but at least you can start. There are certainly other ways to improve your financial situation. You can temporarily take a part-time job, try to radically reduce fixed costs or work out an efficient spending plan.

Of course I am also against loans or lending money and I know that most of them are now thinking: "Oh no, taking on debts for the search for a partner is not a very good idea."

We are talking about an emergency here. Imagine if you had a bad loss or an important bill to pay urgently, then you would pull out all the stops to raise the money. As I want to make clear to you, the search for a partner is to be equated with an emergency. You have to take massive measures in order to be successful. Your future, your happiness, your family depend on what you do today.

I don't know how old you are right now, but if you are in your late 30s or over 40 this search can be very nerve wracking and time consuming. It becomes a race against time and equates to an absolute emergency. From the age of 35, time seems to move much faster, and if you haven't gotten under the hood by then, marriage is definitely an emergency. So you have to act quickly and consistently. Open a bank account so that you can use it to finance your love affair.

Whenever you decide to join a sophisticated dating agency or a reputable marriage agency, you need a few euros. Go to the hairdresser again or pay a visit to the beautician and you will need money again. Becoming a member of a fitness center to bring your figure back into shape or to get new clothes to spice up your look, all of this costs money. Therefore, they need a separate bank account, let's say a partner search account, from which they can finance all of the above-mentioned expenses. And believe me, every penny is worth it. Do not spare any costs, because it is about your future. It is money that you invest for yourself.

After reading through all of the steps in this book and getting an idea of the whole thing. You can start by planning the allocation and distribution of all the budget you have available, step by step. Don't make it complicated, success lies in simplicity.

It is best to plan weekly or monthly trips with organized groups. Depending on what measures you are going to take or what strategies you think are most effective and how much money you have at your disposal. In some months, a few euros will be enough, in others you will need several hundred euros. Depending on how intensely you approach the matter.

Over time, if you have already carried out several measures, trips or changes, you can check and compare which measures were most efficient. It is also important to write everything down in order to be able to record which actions have brought you further. After all, you don't want to just powder money out, but it has to bring something, because you have a goal.

I have listed the following points again. These are very important for a new look, for a fresh and energetic appearance. Each measure should of course also be financed from your partner search account. In the following steps we will deepen the subject of look and a confident demeanor.

Important for a new look:

You need new clothes. Buy clothes that suit you. Feel free to seek advice from a stylist or someone who knows fashion.

You may also need a new haircut. Don't be afraid to cut your hair off. Try something new.

If you are stuck with losing weight or gaining weight, get professional help from a nutritionist or a dietician.

Go to the fitness center regularly or take dance classes as well. These activities make you think differently, release happiness hormones and you come into contact with other people.

Register with online dating agencies. Compare the different offers and read the reviews of others.

Attend singles parties. Don't be shy or reluctant. Do not think so much. Jump into the fray and dare.

Attend events such as speed dating or blind dating. Such actions can be very funny and put you in touch with other singles.

Other costs:

Procurement of a new computer / smartphone

Internet connection

Photo shoots / promotional videos

Training / seminars / advanced courses

Aesthetic costs for various treatments

Improve your chances

Now that you've set up a budget for partnering, focus on increasing your chances of finding a partner quickly. The various practices that we are going through here deal mainly with the possibilities and the opportunities presented to one. The motto is we have to be in the right place at the right time and do the right thing. It is like that with everything in life.

Unfortunately, the odds are not in favor of those in their late 30s or over 40 years of age. You have to do a lot more, come up with a lot more ideas to increase your chances. When you have your goal firmly in mind and focused, you will think through every decision carefully and you will always make sure that you are on the right track.

Suppose you go out with friends and you know a lovely person who you really like, and right away you get on really well with that person. After several drinks, you end up in bed with the new achievement on the same evening and have a lot of fun with the person. How serious would you rate such a person? Would you enter into a serious partnership with someone like that? The odds are probably not very high. There are certainly exceptions and one should not lump everything together.

But based on my research and years of experience, through stories, advice and also from my own experiences, I can say that it's just wild sex. And we will come to the subject of sex later.

A person who goes to bed with you that same evening without knowing you is mostly someone who just wants to have fun and is certainly not interested in a serious bond. Accept it as such. You've had fun and done you good, but don't be fooled, in most cases you can't rely on someone like that. I also have to say that such quick sex actions can be a very quick way to have fun and even get rid of disappointment.

In order to optimize your chances of meeting the right partner, it is advisable not to jump into bed with this person on the first date and thus spoil the likelihood of a partnership. X-ray the person. With simple questions you can find out what makes them tick, what their priorities are, or whether this person goes to bed with everyone.

In addition, a short story from me. I have a very good friend who is looking for just such playmates. The guy looks great, he's tall and slim, kind of a George Clooney blend. And women fly on him, he attracts them magnetically and he takes full advantage of it, because he is addicted to sex. He chooses exactly those candidates that he can nail immediately that same evening.

Of course, he didn't get in touch with her because he is married and even has two children. A few days later he usually gets the same message and it is: “You are a pig! Surely you have a wife and children at home and you go to bed with everyone. "

To which he usually replies: “And you are a bitch! Because you will go to bed with everyone right away. "

I know it's crazy and absolutely sick, but he can't help it. He's having a lot of fun doing it and he always says it's his hobby. Besides, he doesn't force anyone, but the women go to bed with him voluntarily. And although he is rude and very cheeky with his fellow players, 95% of the women get in touch and want to continue to have sex with him. Even though they know he has a wife and children at home.

Ain't the world crazy Believe me, it's full of individuals out there who are married and unrestrainedly get into bed with everyone. It is therefore important to get to know a person, to examine them before one can call this person a life partner. You certainly don't want to hang out with someone who gets to bed with everyone either. If instead you go out with someone who is already married, what do you think the odds are that they will break up with their spouse and become involved with you?

After the many stories from my clients, friends and from my own experience, I can tell you that the chances are zero. To this end, I'll give you advice on my part that I always recommend to everyone: get away from the seemingly perfect people who are already married. Most of the time, you'll lose out and burn your fingers.

The fact that an already married person separates from their spouse and gets involved with you happens in the rarest cases and is to be equated with a lottery win.

In the end, you are the reason why the marriage broke up, you may have caused a tragedy, the children are traumatized, I'll just say karma about that. You end up being the big loser, with a family on your conscience, endless guilt, and a broken heart.

Of course, there will always be a slim chance that something will just happen, let's call it coincidence. For example, when you go shopping in the supermarket, while you are standing in line to pay, a coin falls out of your hand, which is then picked up by the right person and they put it back into your hand. Their eyes meet. You sink into these beautiful blue eyes and you know straight away: He or she is the right person. Stop now! That is wishful thinking. Come back to reality. Your thoughts were immediately elsewhere. Of course something like this can happen and maybe you will win the jackpot in the next drawing, but as I said maybe.

Everything in life is possible and the extraordinary happens, but you shouldn't build on it or do calculations, because the probability is very small. Hence, you need to work with the weapons that you realistically have at your disposal. You can certainly dream all day, but only concrete actions cause reactions.

So be vigilant, brave, cheeky and use every opportunity to get into conversation, even in the supermarket. I find that supermarkets or shops are wonderful places in and of themselves to get into conversation with ease. They are a giant antenna that picks up every signal. Nothing escapes you, like a predator you lie in wait and take in any weather, no matter how small.

Change your habits

What are your chances of being able to find the right partner if you sit alone in your kitchen and drink coffee every morning? Or have you prepared a delicious breakfast and eat it alone? No matter how you twist and turn it, it is practically impossible to find the right person at home.

But maybe it is also possible that while you are enjoying your coffee in the kitchen, your coffee machine suddenly shorts out, explodes and a fire breaks out. Clouds of smoke form, slide out of the window and the whole stairwell smells like burned. Suddenly the well-built neighbor rushes over and rings your doorbell to make sure you are okay or the big, strong firefighter breaks into her apartment and saves you from the inferno while he holds you in his muscular arms and you lovingly after outside wearing.

Hello! Wake up! Something like that happens in a Hollywood flick. Well, it could be that your coffee smells so good that your pretty neighbor simply rings your doorbell to ask about the type of coffee. But to be honest, how likely are such scenarios?

As I said, everything in life is possible. But if you specifically wait for such opportunities, then you will wait a long time. After all, you are running out of time, getting old, gray, and missing out on dozens of opportunities out there. But how likely is it that you will meet an interesting person in the stylish bar across the street?

Or how about having your coffee in the morning in a shopping center where there is a lot of movement and where you have a lot of elegant people around you? The chances are certainly much higher there than in your kitchen, even if your coffee may taste better at home and you feel more comfortable there. In a coffee shop you can have a chat with someone, maybe while you are in line at the cash register, or share a table with someone, or ask about the sugar, etc ..., etc ...

The most important rule is that you have to get out of the apartment. You have to get out of your comfort zone. There is no question that the chances of finding a partner are much higher outside than if you were left alone in the house. You don't have to be a professor, mathematician, or highly educated person to know this.

To optimize your chances of success, go to a bar every morning and have your coffee there. And that goes for your meals too, never eat at home alone. First of all, eating out with a group is much more fun and the best way to get into conversation with other people.

When you are among people and are open to discussions, the location sometimes doesn't matter. Sometimes you meet the right person, just at the fruit dealer or in a stationery store. Give chance, chance, or rather give yourself a chance and you can change your life from one moment to the next. Don't forget, anything is possible. Sometimes all you have to do is act at the right moment and you are a winner.

Your Freetime

You don't have any special plans for the weekend. Why not? Even if you work the whole week, you will certainly have enough time Monday through Friday to be able to plan your weekend effectively. For example, you could have checked to see if there are any interesting weekend events going on somewhere in town, or perhaps lectures, plays or performances.