Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Adventures of Huckleberry FinnCHAPTER I.CHAPTER II.CHAPTER III.CHAPTER IV.CHAPTER V.CHAPTER VI.CHAPTER VII.CHAPTER VIII.CHAPTER IX.CHAPTER X.CHAPTER XI.CHAPTER XII.CHAPTER XIII.CHAPTER XIV.CHAPTER XV.CHAPTER XVI.CHAPTER XVII.CHAPTER XVIII.CHAPTER XIX.CHAPTER XX.CHAPTER XXI.CHAPTER XXII.CHAPTER XXIII.CHAPTER XXIV.CHAPTER XXV.CHAPTER XXVI.CHAPTER XXVII.CHAPTER XXVIII.CHAPTER XXIX.CHAPTER XXX.CHAPTER XXXI.CHAPTER XXXII.CHAPTER XXXIII.CHAPTER XXXIV.CHAPTER XXXV.CHAPTER XXXVI.CHAPTER XXXVII.CHAPTER XXXVIII.CHAPTER XXXIX.CHAPTER XL.CHAPTER XLI.CHAPTER XLII.Copyright
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Mark Twain
CHAPTER I.
YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the
name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter.
That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth,
mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he
told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody
but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the
widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly—Tom's Aunt Polly, she is—and
Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which
is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said
before.Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me
found the money that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us
rich. We got six thousand dollars apiece—all gold. It
was an awful sight of money when it was piled up. Well, Judge
Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a
dollar a day apiece all the year round—more than a body could tell
what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took me for her son,
and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living in the
house all the time, considering how dismal regular and decent the
widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand it no
longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my
sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied. But Tom
Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of
robbers, and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be
respectable. So I went back.The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb,
and she called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no
harm by it. She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do
nothing but sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well,
then, the old thing commenced again. The widow rung a bell
for supper, and you had to come to time. When you got to the table
you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow
to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals,
though there warn't really anything the matter with them,—that is,
nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of
odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice
kind of swaps around, and the things go better.After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses
and the Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him;
but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead a
considerable long time; so then I didn't care no more about him,
because I don't take no stock in dead people.Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me.
But she wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and
wasn't clean, and I must try to not do it any more. That is
just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when
they don't know nothing about it. Here she was a-bothering
about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody, being
gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a
thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of
course that was all right, because she done it
herself.Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with
goggles on, had just come to live with her, and took a set at me
now with a spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an
hour, and then the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stood
it much longer. Then for an hour it was deadly dull, and I
was fidgety. Miss Watson would say, "Don't put your feet up
there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like that,
Huckleberry—set up straight;" and pretty soon she would say, "Don't
gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry—why don't you try to
behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said
I wished I was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm.
All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change,
I warn't particular. She said it was wicked to say what I
said; said she wouldn't say it for the whole world; she was going
to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn't see
no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my mind I
wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, because it would
only make trouble, and wouldn't do no good.Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all
about the good place. She said all a body would have to do
there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever
and ever. So I didn't think much of it. But I never said so.
I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there, and
she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about that,
because I wanted him and me to be together.Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and
lonesome. By and by they fetched the niggers in and had
prayers, and then everybody was off to bed. I went up to my
room with a piece of candle, and put it on the table. Then I
set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something
cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I most
wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves
rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away
off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and
a dog crying about somebody that was going to die; and the wind was
trying to whisper something to me, and I couldn't make out what it
was, and so it made the cold shivers run over me. Then away out in
the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it
wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make
itself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and has to
go about that way every night grieving. I got so down-hearted
and scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a
spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it
lit in the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled
up. I didn't need anybody to tell me that that was an awful
bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared and most
shook the clothes off of me. I got up and turned around in my
tracks three times and crossed my breast every time; and then I
tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches
away. But I hadn't no confidence. You do that when
you've lost a horseshoe that you've found, instead of nailing it up
over the door, but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way
to keep off bad luck when you'd killed a spider.I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for
a smoke; for the house was all as still as death now, and so the
widow wouldn't know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away
off in the town go boom—boom—boom—twelve licks; and all still
again—stiller than ever. Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in
the dark amongst the trees—something was a stirring. I set
still and listened. Directly I could just barely hear a
"me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was good! Says I,
"me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put out the light
and scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I
slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees, and,
sure enough, there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.
CHAPTER II.
WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards
the end of the widow's garden, stooping down so as the branches
wouldn't scrape our heads. When we was passing by the kitchen I
fell over a root and made a noise. We scrouched down and laid
still. Miss Watson's big nigger, named Jim, was setting in
the kitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was
a light behind him. He got up and stretched his neck out
about a minute, listening. Then he says:"Who dah?"He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stood
right between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well,
likely it was minutes and minutes that there warn't a sound, and we
all there so close together. There was a place on my ankle
that got to itching, but I dasn't scratch it; and then my ear begun
to itch; and next my back, right between my shoulders. Seemed
like I'd die if I couldn't scratch. Well, I've noticed that
thing plenty times since. If you are with the quality, or at
a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy—if you
are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will
itch all over in upwards of a thousand places. Pretty soon Jim
says:"Say, who is you? Whar is you? Dog my cats ef I
didn' hear sumf'n. Well, I know what I's gwyne to do: I's
gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears it
agin."So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom. He
leaned his back up against a tree, and stretched his legs out till
one of them most touched one of mine. My nose begun to itch.
It itched till the tears come into my eyes. But I
dasn't scratch. Then it begun to itch on the inside. Next I
got to itching underneath. I didn't know how I was going to
set still. This miserableness went on as much as six or seven
minutes; but it seemed a sight longer than that. I was
itching in eleven different places now. I reckoned I couldn't
stand it more'n a minute longer, but I set my teeth hard and got
ready to try. Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy; next he
begun to snore—and then I was pretty soon comfortable
again.Tom he made a sign to me—kind of a little noise with his
mouth—and we went creeping away on our hands and knees. When
we was ten foot off Tom whispered to me, and wanted to tie Jim to
the tree for fun. But I said no; he might wake and make a
disturbance, and then they'd find out I warn't in. Then Tom said he
hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip in the kitchen and get
some more. I didn't want him to try. I said Jim might
wake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in
there and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table
for pay. Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but
nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his
hands and knees, and play something on him. I waited, and it
seemed a good while, everything was so still and
lonesome.As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, around the
garden fence, and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill
the other side of the house. Tom said he slipped Jim's hat
off of his head and hung it on a limb right over him, and Jim
stirred a little, but he didn't wake. Afterwards Jim said the
witches be witched him and put him in a trance, and rode him all
over the State, and then set him under the trees again, and hung
his hat on a limb to show who done it. And next time Jim told
it he said they rode him down to New Orleans; and, after that,
every time he told it he spread it more and more, till by and by he
said they rode him all over the world, and tired him most to death,
and his back was all over saddle-boils. Jim was monstrous
proud about it, and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice the other
niggers. Niggers would come miles to hear Jim tell about it,
and he was more looked up to than any nigger in that country.
Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look
him all over, same as if he was a wonder. Niggers is always
talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever
one was talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jim
would happen in and say, "Hm! What you know 'bout witches?"
and that nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat.
Jim always kept that five-center piece round his neck with a
string, and said it was a charm the devil give to him with his own
hands, and told him he could cure anybody with it and fetch witches
whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it; but he never
told what it was he said to it. Niggers would come from all
around there and give Jim anything they had, just for a sight of
that five-center piece; but they wouldn't touch it, because the
devil had had his hands on it. Jim was most ruined for a
servant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen the
devil and been rode by witches.Well, when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we
looked away down into the village and could see three or four
lights twinkling, where there was sick folks, maybe; and the stars
over us was sparkling ever so fine; and down by the village was the
river, a whole mile broad, and awful still and grand. We went
down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben Rogers, and two or three
more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard. So we unhitched a
skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half, to the big
scar on the hillside, and went ashore.We went to a clump of bushes, and Tom made everybody swear to
keep the secret, and then showed them a hole in the hill, right in
the thickest part of the bushes. Then we lit the candles, and
crawled in on our hands and knees. We went about two hundred
yards, and then the cave opened up. Tom poked about amongst the
passages, and pretty soon ducked under a wall where you wouldn't a
noticed that there was a hole. We went along a narrow place
and got into a kind of room, all damp and sweaty and cold, and
there we stopped. Tom says:"Now, we'll start this band of robbers and call it Tom
Sawyer's Gang. Everybody that wants to join has got to take an
oath, and write his name in blood."Everybody was willing. So Tom got out a sheet of paper
that he had wrote the oath on, and read it. It swore every
boy to stick to the band, and never tell any of the secrets; and if
anybody done anything to any boy in the band, whichever boy was
ordered to kill that person and his family must do it, and he
mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed them and hacked
a cross in their breasts, which was the sign of the band. And
nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark, and if
he did he must be sued; and if he done it again he must be killed.
And if anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets, he
must have his throat cut, and then have his carcass burnt up and
the ashes scattered all around, and his name blotted off of the
list with blood and never mentioned again by the gang, but have a
curse put on it and be forgot forever.Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath, and asked Tom if
he got it out of his own head. He said, some of it, but the
rest was out of pirate-books and robber-books, and every gang that
was high-toned had it.Some thought it would be good to kill thefamiliesof boys that told the secrets.
Tom said it was a good idea, so he took a pencil and wrote it
in. Then Ben Rogers says:"Here's Huck Finn, he hain't got no family; what you going to
do 'bout him?""Well, hain't he got a father?" says Tom Sawyer."Yes, he's got a father, but you can't never find him these
days. He used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard, but
he hain't been seen in these parts for a year or
more."They talked it over, and they was going to rule me out,
because they said every boy must have a family or somebody to kill,
or else it wouldn't be fair and square for the others. Well,
nobody could think of anything to do—everybody was stumped, and set
still. I was most ready to cry; but all at once I thought of
a way, and so I offered them Miss Watson—they could kill her.
Everybody said:"Oh, she'll do. That's all right. Huck can come
in."Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to
sign with, and I made my mark on the paper."Now," says Ben Rogers, "what's the line of business of this
Gang?""Nothing only robbery and murder," Tom said."But who are we going to rob?—houses, or cattle,
or—""Stuff! stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery; it's
burglary," says Tom Sawyer. "We ain't burglars. That
ain't no sort of style. We are highwaymen. We stop
stages and carriages on the road, with masks on, and kill the
people and take their watches and money.""Must we always kill the people?""Oh, certainly. It's best. Some authorities think
different, but mostly it's considered best to kill them—except some
that you bring to the cave here, and keep them till they're
ransomed.""Ransomed? What's that?""I don't know. But that's what they do. I've seen
it in books; and so of course that's what we've got to
do.""But how can we do it if we don't know what it
is?""Why, blame it all, we'vegotto do it. Don't I tell you it's in the books? Do
you want to go to doing different from what's in the books, and get
things all muddled up?""Oh, that's all very fine tosay, Tom Sawyer, but how in the nation are these fellows going
to be ransomed if we don't know how to do it to them?—that's the
thing I want to get at. Now, what do you reckon it
is?""Well, I don't know. But per'aps if we keep them till
they're ransomed, it means that we keep them till they're
dead.""Now, that's somethinglike. That'll answer. Why couldn't you said that
before? We'll keep them till they're ransomed to death; and a
bothersome lot they'll be, too—eating up everything, and always
trying to get loose.""How you talk, Ben Rogers. How can they get loose when
there's a guard over them, ready to shoot them down if they move a
peg?""A guard! Well, thatisgood. So somebody's got to set up all night and never
get any sleep, just so as to watch them. I think that's
foolishness. Why can't a body take a club and ransom them as soon
as they get here?""Because it ain't in the books so—that's why. Now, Ben
Rogers, do you want to do things regular, or don't you?—that's the
idea. Don't you reckon that the people that made the books
knows what's the correct thing to do? Do you reckonyoucan learn 'em anything? Not
by a good deal. No, sir, we'll just go on and ransom them in the
regular way.""All right. I don't mind; but I say it's a fool way,
anyhow. Say, do we kill the women, too?""Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let
on. Kill the women? No; nobody ever saw anything in the
books like that. You fetch them to the cave, and you're
always as polite as pie to them; and by and by they fall in love
with you, and never want to go home any more.""Well, if that's the way I'm agreed, but I don't take no
stock in it. Mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up with
women, and fellows waiting to be ransomed, that there won't be no
place for the robbers. But go ahead, I ain't got nothing to
say."Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now, and when they waked him
up he was scared, and cried, and said he wanted to go home to his
ma, and didn't want to be a robber any more.So they all made fun of him, and called him cry-baby, and
that made him mad, and he said he would go straight and tell all
the secrets. But Tom give him five cents to keep quiet, and
said we would all go home and meet next week, and rob somebody and
kill some people.Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much, only Sundays, and
so he wanted to begin next Sunday; but all the boys said it would
be wicked to do it on Sunday, and that settled the thing.
They agreed to get together and fix a day as soon as they
could, and then we elected Tom Sawyer first captain and Jo Harper
second captain of the Gang, and so started home.I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day
was breaking. My new clothes was all greased up and clayey, and I
was dog-tired.
CHAPTER III.
WELL, I got a good going-over in the morning from old Miss
Watson on account of my clothes; but the widow she didn't scold,
but only cleaned off the grease and clay, and looked so sorry that
I thought I would behave awhile if I could. Then Miss Watson
she took me in the closet and prayed, but nothing come of it.
She told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked for I
would get it. But it warn't so. I tried it. Once I got
a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me without
hooks. I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow
I couldn't make it work. By and by, one day, I asked Miss
Watson to try for me, but she said I was a fool. She never
told me why, and I couldn't make it out no way.I set down one time back in the woods, and had a long think
about it. I says to myself, if a body can get anything they
pray for, why don't Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork?
Why can't the widow get back her silver snuffbox that was
stole? Why can't Miss Watson fat up? No, says I to my self,
there ain't nothing in it. I went and told the widow about
it, and she said the thing a body could get by praying for it was
"spiritual gifts." This was too many for me, but she told me
what she meant—I must help other people, and do everything I could
for other people, and look out for them all the time, and never
think about myself. This was including Miss Watson, as I took it.
I went out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long
time, but I couldn't see no advantage about it—except for the other
people; so at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about it any more,
but just let it go. Sometimes the widow would take me one
side and talk about Providence in a way to make a body's mouth
water; but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold and knock it
all down again. I judged I could see that there was two
Providences, and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the
widow's Providence, but if Miss Watson's got him there warn't no
help for him any more. I thought it all out, and reckoned I
would belong to the widow's if he wanted me, though I couldn't make
out how he was a-going to be any better off then than what he was
before, seeing I was so ignorant, and so kind of low-down and
ornery.Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year, and that was
comfortable for me; I didn't want to see him no more. He used
to always whale me when he was sober and could get his hands on me;
though I used to take to the woods most of the time when he was
around. Well, about this time he was found in the river
drownded, about twelve mile above town, so people said. They
judged it was him, anyway; said this drownded man was just his
size, and was ragged, and had uncommon long hair, which was all
like pap; but they couldn't make nothing out of the face, because
it had been in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all.
They said he was floating on his back in the water.
They took him and buried him on the bank. But I warn't
comfortable long, because I happened to think of something. I
knowed mighty well that a drownded man don't float on his back, but
on his face. So I knowed, then, that this warn't pap, but a
woman dressed up in a man's clothes. So I was uncomfortable
again. I judged the old man would turn up again by and by,
though I wished he wouldn't.We played robber now and then about a month, and then I
resigned. All the boys did. We hadn't robbed nobody,
hadn't killed any people, but only just pretended. We used to
hop out of the woods and go charging down on hog-drivers and women
in carts taking garden stuff to market, but we never hived any of
them. Tom Sawyer called the hogs "ingots," and he called the
turnips and stuff "julery," and we would go to the cave and powwow
over what we had done, and how many people we had killed and
marked. But I couldn't see no profit in it. One time
Tom sent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick, which he
called a slogan (which was the sign for the Gang to get together),
and then he said he had got secret news by his spies that next day
a whole parcel of Spanish merchants and rich A-rabs was going to
camp in Cave Hollow with two hundred elephants, and six hundred
camels, and over a thousand "sumter" mules, all loaded down with
di'monds, and they didn't have only a guard of four hundred
soldiers, and so we would lay in ambuscade, as he called it, and
kill the lot and scoop the things. He said we must slick up
our swords and guns, and get ready. He never could go after
even a turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured
up for it, though they was only lath and broomsticks, and you might
scour at them till you rotted, and then they warn't worth a
mouthful of ashes more than what they was before. I didn't
believe we could lick such a crowd of Spaniards and A-rabs, but I
wanted to see the camels and elephants, so I was on hand next day,
Saturday, in the ambuscade; and when we got the word we rushed out
of the woods and down the hill. But there warn't no Spaniards
and A-rabs, and there warn't no camels nor no elephants. It
warn't anything but a Sunday-school picnic, and only a primer-class
at that. We busted it up, and chased the children up the
hollow; but we never got anything but some doughnuts and jam,
though Ben Rogers got a rag doll, and Jo Harper got a hymn-book and
a tract; and then the teacher charged in, and made us drop
everything and cut.I didn't see no di'monds, and I told Tom Sawyer so.
He said there was loads of them there, anyway; and he said
there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and things. I
said, why couldn't we see them, then? He said if I warn't so
ignorant, but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know
without asking. He said it was all done by enchantment.
He said there was hundreds of soldiers there, and elephants
and treasure, and so on, but we had enemies which he called
magicians; and they had turned the whole thing into an infant
Sunday-school, just out of spite. I said, all right; then the
thing for us to do was to go for the magicians. Tom Sawyer
said I was a numskull."Why," said he, "a magician could call up a lot of genies,
and they would hash you up like nothing before you could say Jack
Robinson. They are as tall as a tree and as big around as a
church.""Well," I says, "s'pose we got some genies to helpus—can't we lick the other crowd
then?""How you going to get them?""I don't know. How dotheyget them?""Why, they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring, and then the
genies come tearing in, with the thunder and lightning a-ripping
around and the smoke a-rolling, and everything they're told to do
they up and do it. They don't think nothing of pulling a
shot-tower up by the roots, and belting a Sunday-school
superintendent over the head with it—or any other
man.""Who makes them tear around so?""Why, whoever rubs the lamp or the ring. They belong to
whoever rubs the lamp or the ring, and they've got to do whatever
he says. If he tells them to build a palace forty miles long
out of di'monds, and fill it full of chewing-gum, or whatever you
want, and fetch an emperor's daughter from China for you to marry,
they've got to do it—and they've got to do it before sun-up next
morning, too. And more: they've got to waltz that
palace around over the country wherever you want it, you
understand.""Well," says I, "I think they are a pack of flat-heads for
not keeping the palace themselves 'stead of fooling them away like
that. And what's more—if I was one of them I would see a man
in Jericho before I would drop my business and come to him for the
rubbing of an old tin lamp.""How you talk, Huck Finn. Why, you'dhaveto come when he rubbed it, whether
you wanted to or not.""What! and I as high as a tree and as big as a church?
All right, then; Iwouldcome; but I lay I'd make that man climb the highest tree
there was in the country.""Shucks, it ain't no use to talk to you, Huck Finn. You
don't seem to know anything, somehow—perfect saphead."I thought all this over for two or three days, and then I
reckoned I would see if there was anything in it. I got an
old tin lamp and an iron ring, and went out in the woods and rubbed
and rubbed till I sweat like an Injun, calculating to build a
palace and sell it; but it warn't no use, none of the genies come.
So then I judged that all that stuff was only just one of Tom
Sawyer's lies. I reckoned he believed in the A-rabs and the
elephants, but as for me I think different. It had all the
marks of a Sunday-school.
CHAPTER IV.
WELL, three or four months run along, and it was well into
the winter now. I had been to school most all the time and could
spell and read and write just a little, and could say the
multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I
don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to
live forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics,
anyway.At first I hated the school, but by and by I got so I could
stand it. Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey, and the
hiding I got next day done me good and cheered me up. So the
longer I went to school the easier it got to be. I was
getting sort of used to the widow's ways, too, and they warn't so
raspy on me. Living in a house and sleeping in a bed pulled
on me pretty tight mostly, but before the cold weather I used to
slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes, and so that was a rest
to me. I liked the old ways best, but I was getting so I
liked the new ones, too, a little bit. The widow said I was coming
along slow but sure, and doing very satisfactory. She said
she warn't ashamed of me.One morning I happened to turn over the salt-cellar at
breakfast. I reached for some of it as quick as I could to
throw over my left shoulder and keep off the bad luck, but Miss
Watson was in ahead of me, and crossed me off. She says, "Take your
hands away, Huckleberry; what a mess you are always making!"
The widow put in a good word for me, but that warn't going to
keep off the bad luck, I knowed that well enough. I started
out, after breakfast, feeling worried and shaky, and wondering
where it was going to fall on me, and what it was going to be.
There is ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck, but this
wasn't one of them kind; so I never tried to do anything, but just
poked along low-spirited and on the watch-out.I went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile
where you go through the high board fence. There was an inch
of new snow on the ground, and I seen somebody's tracks. They
had come up from the quarry and stood around the stile a while, and
then went on around the garden fence. It was funny they
hadn't come in, after standing around so. I couldn't make it
out. It was very curious, somehow. I was going to
follow around, but I stooped down to look at the tracks first.
I didn't notice anything at first, but next I did.
There was a cross in the left boot-heel made with big nails,
to keep off the devil.I was up in a second and shinning down the hill. I
looked over my shoulder every now and then, but I didn't see
nobody. I was at Judge Thatcher's as quick as I could get
there. He said:"Why, my boy, you are all out of breath. Did you come
for your interest?""No, sir," I says; "is there some for me?""Oh, yes, a half-yearly is in last night—over a hundred and
fifty dollars. Quite a fortune for you. You had better
let me invest it along with your six thousand, because if you take
it you'll spend it.""No, sir," I says, "I don't want to spend it. I don't
want it at all—nor the six thousand, nuther. I want you to
take it; I want to give it to you—the six thousand and
all."He looked surprised. He couldn't seem to make it out.
He says:"Why, what can you mean, my boy?"I says, "Don't you ask me no questions about it, please.
You'll take it—won't you?"He says:"Well, I'm puzzled. Is something the
matter?""Please take it," says I, "and don't ask me nothing—then I
won't have to tell no lies."He studied a while, and then he says:"Oho-o! I think I see. You want tosellall your property to me—not give
it. That's the correct idea."Then he wrote something on a paper and read it over, and
says:"There; you see it says 'for a consideration.' That
means I have bought it of you and paid you for it. Here's a
dollar for you. Now you sign it."So I signed it, and left.Miss Watson's nigger, Jim, had a hair-ball as big as your
fist, which had been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox, and
he used to do magic with it. He said there was a spirit
inside of it, and it knowed everything. So I went to him that
night and told him pap was here again, for I found his tracks in
the snow. What I wanted to know was, what he was going to do,
and was he going to stay? Jim got out his hair-ball and said
something over it, and then he held it up and dropped it on the
floor. It fell pretty solid, and only rolled about an inch.
Jim tried it again, and then another time, and it acted just
the same. Jim got down on his knees, and put his ear against
it and listened. But it warn't no use; he said it wouldn't
talk. He said sometimes it wouldn't talk without money. I
told him I had an old slick counterfeit quarter that warn't no good
because the brass showed through the silver a little, and it
wouldn't pass nohow, even if the brass didn't show, because it was
so slick it felt greasy, and so that would tell on it every time.
(I reckoned I wouldn't say nothing about the dollar I got
from the judge.) I said it was pretty bad money, but maybe the
hair-ball would take it, because maybe it wouldn't know the
difference. Jim smelt it and bit it and rubbed it, and said
he would manage so the hair-ball would think it was good. He
said he would split open a raw Irish potato and stick the quarter
in between and keep it there all night, and next morning you
couldn't see no brass, and it wouldn't feel greasy no more, and so
anybody in town would take it in a minute, let alone a hair-ball.
Well, I knowed a potato would do that before, but I had
forgot it.Jim put the quarter under the hair-ball, and got down and
listened again. This time he said the hair-ball was all right.
He said it would tell my whole fortune if I wanted it to.
I says, go on. So the hair-ball talked to Jim, and Jim
told it to me. He says:"Yo' ole father doan' know yit what he's a-gwyne to do.
Sometimes he spec he'll go 'way, en den agin he spec he'll
stay. De bes' way is to res' easy en let de ole man take his
own way. Dey's two angels hoverin' roun' 'bout him. One
uv 'em is white en shiny, en t'other one is black. De white one
gits him to go right a little while, den de black one sail in en
bust it all up. A body can't tell yit which one gwyne to
fetch him at de las'. But you is all right. You gwyne
to have considable trouble in yo' life, en considable joy.
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to
git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin. Dey's
two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo' life. One uv 'em's light en
t'other one is dark. One is rich en t'other is po'. You's
gwyne to marry de po' one fust en de rich one by en by. You
wants to keep 'way fum de water as much as you kin, en don't run no
resk, 'kase it's down in de bills dat you's gwyne to git
hung."When I lit my candle and went up to my room that night there
sat pap his own self!
CHAPTER V.
I had shut the door to. Then I turned around and there
he was. I used to be scared of him all the time, he tanned me
so much. I reckoned I was scared now, too; but in a minute I
see I was mistaken—that is, after the first jolt, as you may say,
when my breath sort of hitched, he being so unexpected; but right
away after I see I warn't scared of him worth bothring
about.He was most fifty, and he looked it. His hair was long
and tangled and greasy, and hung down, and you could see his eyes
shining through like he was behind vines. It was all black,
no gray; so was his long, mixed-up whiskers. There warn't no
color in his face, where his face showed; it was white; not like
another man's white, but a white to make a body sick, a white to
make a body's flesh crawl—a tree-toad white, a fish-belly white.
As for his clothes—just rags, that was all. He had one
ankle resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot was busted,
and two of his toes stuck through, and he worked them now and then.
His hat was laying on the floor—an old black slouch with the
top caved in, like a lid.I stood a-looking at him; he set there a-looking at me, with
his chair tilted back a little. I set the candle down.
I noticed the window was up; so he had clumb in by the shed.
He kept a-looking me all over. By and by he
says:"Starchy clothes—very. You think you're a good deal of
a big-bug,don'tyou?""Maybe I am, maybe I ain't," I says."Don't you give me none o' your lip," says he. "You've
put on considerable many frills since I been away. I'll take
you down a peg before I get done with you. You're educated,
too, they say—can read and write. You think you're better'n
your father, now, don't you, because he can't? I'lltake it out of you. Who told
you you might meddle with such hifalut'n foolishness, hey?—who told
you you could?""The widow. She told me.""The widow, hey?—and who told the widow she could put in her
shovel about a thing that ain't none of her business?""Nobody never told her.""Well, I'll learn her how to meddle. And looky here—you
drop that school, you hear? I'll learn people to bring up a
boy to put on airs over his own father and let on to be better'n
whatheis. You lemme
catch you fooling around that school again, you hear? Your
mother couldn't read, and she couldn't write, nuther, before she
died. None of the family couldn't beforetheydied. I can't; and here
you're a-swelling yourself up like this. I ain't the man to
stand it—you hear? Say, lemme hear you read."I took up a book and begun something about General Washington
and the wars. When I'd read about a half a minute, he fetched the
book a whack with his hand and knocked it across the house.
He says:"It's so. You can do it. I had my doubts when you
told me. Now looky here; you stop that putting on frills.
I won't have it. I'll lay for you, my smarty; and if I
catch you about that school I'll tan you good. First you know
you'll get religion, too. I never see such a
son."He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and
a boy, and says:"What's this?""It's something they give me for learning my lessons
good."He tore it up, and says:"I'll give you something better—I'll give you a
cowhide."He set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute, and then he
says:"Ain'tyou a
sweet-scented dandy, though? A bed; and bedclothes; and a
look'n'-glass; and a piece of carpet on the floor—and your own
father got to sleep with the hogs in the tanyard. I never see
such a son. I bet I'll take some o' these frills out o' you
before I'm done with you. Why, there ain't no end to your airs—they
say you're rich. Hey?—how's that?""They lie—that's how.""Looky here—mind how you talk to me; I'm a-standing about all
I can stand now—so don't gimme no sass. I've been in town two
days, and I hain't heard nothing but about you bein' rich. I
heard about it away down the river, too. That's why I come.
You git me that money to-morrow—I want it.""I hain't got no money.""It's a lie. Judge Thatcher's got it. You git it.
I want it.""I hain't got no money, I tell you. You ask Judge
Thatcher; he'll tell you the same.""All right. I'll ask him; and I'll make him pungle,
too, or I'll know the reason why. Say, how much you got in
your pocket? I want it.""I hain't got only a dollar, and I want that
to—""It don't make no difference what you want it for—you just
shell it out."He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then he said
he was going down town to get some whisky; said he hadn't had a
drink all day. When he had got out on the shed he put his head in
again, and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to be better
than him; and when I reckoned he was gone he come back and put his
head in again, and told me to mind about that school, because he
was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn't drop
that.Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher's and
bullyragged him, and tried to make him give up the money; but he
couldn't, and then he swore he'd make the law force
him.The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take
me away from him and let one of them be my guardian; but it was a
new judge that had just come, and he didn't know the old man; so he
said courts mustn't interfere and separate families if they could
help it; said he'd druther not take a child away from its father.
So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the
business.That pleased the old man till he couldn't rest. He said
he'd cowhide me till I was black and blue if I didn't raise some
money for him. I borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher,
and pap took it and got drunk, and went a-blowing around and
cussing and whooping and carrying on; and he kept it up all over
town, with a tin pan, till most midnight; then they jailed him, and
next day they had him before court, and jailed him again for a
week. But he saidhewas
satisfied; said he was boss of his son, and he'd make it warm
forhim.When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make a
man of him. So he took him to his own house, and dressed him up
clean and nice, and had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with
the family, and was just old pie to him, so to speak. And
after supper he talked to him about temperance and such things till
the old man cried, and said he'd been a fool, and fooled away his
life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf and be a man
nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the judge would help
him and not look down on him. The judge said he could hug him
for them words; so he cried, and his wife she cried again; pap said
he'd been a man that had always been misunderstood before, and the
judge said he believed it. The old man said that what a man
wanted that was down was sympathy, and the judge said it was so; so
they cried again. And when it was bedtime the old man rose up
and held out his hand, and says:"Look at it, gentlemen and ladies all; take a-hold of it;
shake it. There's a hand that was the hand of a hog; but it ain't
so no more; it's the hand of a man that's started in on a new life,
and'll die before he'll go back. You mark them words—don't
forget I said them. It's a clean hand now; shake it—don't be
afeard."So they shook it, one after the other, all around, and cried.
The judge's wife she kissed it. Then the old man he
signed a pledge—made his mark. The judge said it was the holiest
time on record, or something like that. Then they tucked the old
man into a beautiful room, which was the spare room, and in the
night some time he got powerful thirsty and clumb out on to the
porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat for a
jug of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old time; and
towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as a fiddler, and
rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places, and was
most froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up. And
when they come to look at that spare room they had to take
soundings before they could navigate it.The judge he felt kind of sore. He said he reckoned a
body could reform the old man with a shotgun, maybe, but he didn't
know no other way.
CHAPTER VI.
WELL, pretty soon the old man was up and around again, and
then he went for Judge Thatcher in the courts to make him give up
that money, and he went for me, too, for not stopping school.
He catched me a couple of times and thrashed me, but I went
to school just the same, and dodged him or outrun him most of the
time. I didn't want to go to school much before, but I
reckoned I'd go now to spite pap. That law trial was a slow
business—appeared like they warn't ever going to get started on it;
so every now and then I'd borrow two or three dollars off of the
judge for him, to keep from getting a cowhiding. Every time
he got money he got drunk; and every time he got drunk he raised
Cain around town; and every time he raised Cain he got jailed.
He was just suited—this kind of thing was right in his
line.He got to hanging around the widow's too much and so she told
him at last that if he didn't quit using around there she would
make trouble for him. Well,wasn'the mad? He said he would show who was Huck Finn's boss.
So he watched out for me one day in the spring, and catched
me, and took me up the river about three mile in a skiff, and
crossed over to the Illinois shore where it was woody and there
warn't no houses but an old log hut in a place where the timber was
so thick you couldn't find it if you didn't know where it
was.He kept me with him all the time, and I never got a chance to
run off. We lived in that old cabin, and he always locked the door
and put the key under his head nights. He had a gun which he
had stole, I reckon, and we fished and hunted, and that was what we
lived on. Every little while he locked me in and went down to
the store, three miles, to the ferry, and traded fish and game for
whisky, and fetched it home and got drunk and had a good time, and
licked me. The widow she found out where I was by and by, and
she sent a man over to try to get hold of me; but pap drove him off
with the gun, and it warn't long after that till I was used to
being where I was, and liked it—all but the cowhide
part.It was kind of lazy and jolly, laying off comfortable all
day, smoking and fishing, and no books nor study. Two months
or more run along, and my clothes got to be all rags and dirt, and
I didn't see how I'd ever got to like it so well at the widow's,
where you had to wash, and eat on a plate, and comb up, and go to
bed and get up regular, and be forever bothering over a book, and
have old Miss Watson pecking at you all the time. I didn't
want to go back no more. I had stopped cussing, because the
widow didn't like it; but now I took to it again because pap hadn't
no objections. It was pretty good times up in the woods
there, take it all around.But by and by pap got too handy with his hick'ry, and I
couldn't stand it. I was all over welts. He got to going away
so much, too, and locking me in. Once he locked me in and was
gone three days. It was dreadful lonesome. I judged he
had got drownded, and I wasn't ever going to get out any more.
I was scared. I made up my mind I would fix up some way
to leave there. I had tried to get out of that cabin many a
time, but I couldn't find no way. There warn't a window to it
big enough for a dog to get through. I couldn't get up the
chimbly; it was too narrow. The door was thick, solid oak
slabs. Pap was pretty careful not to leave a knife or
anything in the cabin when he was away; I reckon I had hunted the
place over as much as a hundred times; well, I was most all the
time at it, because it was about the only way to put in the time.
But this time I found something at last; I found an old rusty
wood-saw without any handle; it was laid in between a rafter and
the clapboards of the roof. I greased it up and went to work.
There was an old horse-blanket nailed against the logs at the
far end of the cabin behind the table, to keep the wind from
blowing through the chinks and putting the candle out. I got
under the table and raised the blanket, and went to work to saw a
section of the big bottom log out—big enough to let me through.
Well, it was a good long job, but I was getting towards the
end of it when I heard pap's gun in the woods. I got rid of
the signs of my work, and dropped the blanket and hid my saw, and
pretty soon pap come in.Pap warn't in a good humor—so he was his natural self.
He said he was down town, and everything was going wrong.
His lawyer said he reckoned he would win his lawsuit and get
the money if they ever got started on the trial; but then there was
ways to put it off a long time, and Judge Thatcher knowed how to do
it. And he said people allowed there'd be another trial to get me
away from him and give me to the widow for my guardian, and they
guessed it would win this time. This shook me up
considerable, because I didn't want to go back to the widow's any
more and be so cramped up and sivilized, as they called it.
Then the old man got to cussing, and cussed everything and
everybody he could think of, and then cussed them all over again to
make sure he hadn't skipped any, and after that he polished off
with a kind of a general cuss all round, including a considerable
parcel of people which he didn't know the names of, and so called
them what's-his-name when he got to them, and went right along with
his cussing.He said he would like to see the widow get me. He said
he would watch out, and if they tried to come any such game on him
he knowed of a place six or seven mile off to stow me in, where
they might hunt till they dropped and they couldn't find me.
That made me pretty uneasy again, but only for a minute; I
reckoned I wouldn't stay on hand till he got that
chance.The old man made me go to the skiff and fetch the things he
had got. There was a fifty-pound sack of corn meal, and a side of
bacon, ammunition, and a four-gallon jug of whisky, and an old book
and two newspapers for wadding, besides some tow. I toted up
a load, and went back and set down on the bow of the skiff to rest.
I thought it all over, and I reckoned I would walk off with
the gun and some lines, and take to the woods when I run away.
I guessed I wouldn't stay in one place, but just tramp right
across the country, mostly night times, and hunt and fish to keep
alive, and so get so far away that the old man nor the widow
couldn't ever find me any more. I judged I would saw out and
leave that night if pap got drunk enough, and I reckoned he would.
I got so full of it I didn't notice how long I was staying
till the old man hollered and asked me whether I was asleep or
drownded.I got the things all up to the cabin, and then it was about
dark. While I was cooking supper the old man took a swig or
two and got sort of warmed up, and went to ripping again. He
had been drunk over in town, and laid in the gutter all night, and
he was a sight to look at. A body would a thought he was
Adam—he was just all mud. Whenever his liquor begun to work
he most always went for the govment, this time he
says:"Call this a govment! why, just look at it and see what it's
like. Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from
him—a man's own son, which he has had all the trouble and all the
anxiety and all the expense of raising. Yes, just as that man
has got that son raised at last, and ready to go to work and begin
to do suthin' forhimand give
him a rest, the law up and goes for him. And they callthatgovment! That ain't all,
nuther. The law backs that old Judge Thatcher up and helps
him to keep me out o' my property. Here's what the law does:
The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards,
and jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this, and lets him go
round in clothes that ain't fitten for a hog. They call that
govment! A man can't get his rights in a govment like this.
Sometimes I've a mighty notion to just leave the country for good
and all. Yes, and Itold'em so;
I told old Thatcher so to his face. Lots of 'em heard me, and
can tell what I said. Says I, for two cents I'd leave the
blamed country and never come a-near it agin. Them's the very
words. I says look at my hat—if you call it a hat—but the lid
raises up and the rest of it goes down till it's below my chin, and
then it ain't rightly a hat at all, but more like my head was
shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe. Look at it, says
I—such a hat for me to wear—one of the wealthiest men in this town
if I could git my rights."Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why,
looky here. There was a free nigger there from Ohio—a mulatter,
most as white as a white man. He had the whitest shirt on you
ever see, too, and the shiniest hat; and there ain't a man in that
town that's got as fine clothes as what he had; and he had a gold
watch and chain, and a silver-headed cane—the awfulest old
gray-headed nabob in the State. And what do you think?
They said he was a p'fessor in a college, and could talk all
kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that ain't the
wust. They said he couldvotewhen he was at home. Well, that let me out. Thinks I,
what is the country a-coming to? It was 'lection day, and I
was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get
there; but when they told me there was a State in this country
where they'd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says I'll
never vote agin. Them's the very words I said; they all heard
me; and the country may rot for all me—I'll never vote agin as long
as I live. And to see the cool way of that nigger—why, he
wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't shoved him out o' the way.
I says to the people, why ain't this nigger put up at auction
and sold?—that's what I want to know. And what do you reckon
they said? Why, they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in the
State six months, and he hadn't been there that long yet.
There, now—that's a specimen. They call that a govment
that can't sell a free nigger till he's been in the State six
months. Here's a govment that calls itself a govment, and
lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a govment, and yet's got
to set stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold
of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free nigger,
and—"