All the poetry I recently wrote but went unread. E-Book

Darren Hobson

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

This is a collection of poetry written over the last five years, some of the poems were published as independent eBooks none of which got off the ground, some of the collections were abandoned before being finished, here you have a collection of poems that documents most of the world events and social issues from the last five years. The path through these poems is dark and dangerous, the path splinters off into many directions, you will find yourself in the depths of a tortured mind and then find yourself in a haunted maze, this work is deep and eccentric, cruel and energetic , in places angry and disturbing at the end of the day this is a guide to surviving in this new world ravaged by the pandemic and lashed by natural disasters. Would you dare to read it ?  

Leseprobe

Darren Hobson

All the poetry I recently wrote but went unread.

This is dedicated to all the survivors out there, keep safe and well.BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 Munich

Introduction

Darren Hobson

All the poetry I recently wrote but went unread.

A collection of poetry written somewhere between 2017 and autumn 2021, some of it was published unsuccessful separately, two collections of poems abandoned when confidence was low and my anxiety asked questions like who would like this shit ? All the poetry asking ridiculous questions with horrendous language and so many grammatical errors that the English professors in this world will have me lynched. I am not perfect, maybe perfectly flawed and this poetry represents all of that.

1.Welcome to poetry hell.

GEO

GEO and the interference that is poetry noise.

Who passes this point must have a strong heart and an open mind

There is anarchy in the verses and open scars to cure.

GEO∞link

Geo is linked to the earth

The earth is our home

Everything we do has a consequence

All that we are is linked

It is a multitude of rusty chains

What comes around will go down

Every word or sigh or tear

Will be the start of your death sentence

We will all interact in some way or another

What I say here will be echoed through the corridors

Just saying it at the right pitch or tone

You don’t need to send a message by telephone

Like the planets that orbit the sun

Their paths are sophistically synchronised

If just one planet slows their rotation

The whole solar system will go up in flames

Just like me and a whole lot of yous

You are so dependent on what I do

Just waiting for the next literary surge

Satisfying every whim and complicated urge

We are linked up in the passages of time

To be free and independent would be a crime

It is a knock on effect like a domino run

Just a little touch and the damage is done

One earthquake in the southern hemisphere

Has a rippling effect on all the tectonic plates

Just another disaster will mist up the waters

Just like us humans when we make mistakes

Have you ever told a little white harmless lie?

Did you notice the snowball effect?

Before long that little fucker is out of control

How much time passed before you embraced regret?

This is the link between me and the geo,

This is what I observed when I was not watching

This is what it is like to be suffering an outpouring

Always complicated but never ever boring

Just like a little baby throwing out its toys

You are now subject to my poetry noise

I am mutilating words just for the hell of it

I will leave my footprint in your imprint.

Everything I say or I have done

Will be the outline of my death certificate

Every person I met I’ve stained their soul

Can’t undo it for it’s too late

Everything is linked from the moon to the tide

This is going to be one violent ride

All my energy and aura will rub off on you

You will be tainted when I am through

Don’t expect me to be all smiles and sweetness

You can’t judge a man just by his greatness

It’s about making a loud song and dance

It’s not about what’s in or out of your pants

This is a story and it’s a plague you will see

It is a legend and the start of being me

Let’s all link up and follow the chain gang

Saving our voices for the melodies we sang

By the campfire

Carving our virus into the trees

Destroying everything that was great

It was all fault

All our graffiti

GEOgraffiti

That was just great

That was with applause

That was just fantastic

That was gorgeous

Take the time to make a smile

Throw your attitude on the pile

Be the kid that you want to be

Just don't fuck with a cunt like me

That was just apocalyptic

That was with dirty claws

That was the way so drastic

What is mine is never yours

Take the time to make a friend

Say some bullshit to make it end

Be the cunt you need to be

Set yourself on fire be free

You’re are just so great

Knowing you was my mistake

Your fake ass smile

And you flimsy penetration 

You fucked up views

That I forgot to mention

Your geography

Was all mapped out

Your twisted blister

Was to scream about

Your throat sore

With contingency plans

You forgot I was a man

Your gorgeous eyes

You planned my demise

Hiding apparatus

What has become of us?

Making amends

And destroyed friends

Breaking the bank

When all depends on you

I painted a picture and the colours were fruitful

I made the darkest corners so fucking beautiful

I dragged you into your Sinday best

But you were outraged and you protested

I could never get you when I never got me

You was a stumble on my burnt tongue

Out of the frying pan and boiled into my fantasy

Trying to be unsocial were I did not belong

Talking trouble and throw a double

You could not gamble on a dead legged horse

Blindfolded by your own suggestion

You couldn’t let nature take her course

Just imagine that there is a new way

To see me less and less every single day

I doubt you will remember anything of this mess 

When in five days’ time you will be still gorgeous

I am just a little graffiti on a temporary wall

I am just a puff of air in an oval football

No matter how much you have to kick around

I will be an idiot and I will still rebound

Trying on the humpty not to be so Dumpty

When play school is the only thing to watch

And every word is child's play

You are still gorgeous even today

The clouds are covering up what could be a full moon

Inside my hormones you will never be coming soon

Two tribes go for more

Don't know what you're looking for

Pride got deep got earthquake shook

One step back so not to give a fuck

When life is perfect and dangerous

You are combed back and gorgeous.

St. GEOrges Rd.

Taking you back in time when I was so young

I was getting crazy in the head even right back then

I was moving around too much from house to house

I had no identity 

No philosophy

No balls to swing me by

It all went up in smoke, right back then

Dirty streets and factories

Derelict playing fields

Gloom under a threatening sky

I was getting fucked up

And I wanted to die.

Old mills with chimneys pointing skywards

Furniture manufacture with a downstairs tenant and gym

Surrounded by the usual industrial decay

We threw bricks most and every day

It was St Georges road

It was my youth

It was long ago

It scared me deep

School was terrible and I was so afraid

This is the root of my evil and how I was made

Feeling inadequate and over my head

Thoughts misted my mind of wanting to be dead

There were hardly any good memories

Just a long line of enemies and bullies

Couldn’t tie my tie to suit the suits

Couldn’t think straight

Couldn’t study right

Couldn’t sleep at night

The world was my poison

It was St. Georges road

It was heaven and hell

It was my first year in high school

Now you can tell

I don’t want to peek in-between the closed curtains

That I drew shut and stitched up so long ago

I cannot see the faces that I hated so much

I am glad I erased that shit and I lost their touch

I remember the school bus and some mean girls

I remember the books falling from my rucksack

I remember being ridiculed for everything I was

I remember some things far too much

It was St Georges road

It was around 1983

It was the worst phase of my life

But I don’t seek your pity

I cannot feel all those punches anymore

I cannot remember how many times I fell to the floor

I cannot remember all  the embarrassing situations

I just see the mist and a mountain of frustration

I didn’t want to be at home

I just wanted to be alone

I did not belong anywhere

Just like you I found life was not fair

From the Miley Tunnel I went in search of old ghosts

I found no one down there to whisper my stories too

So opposites attract so I climbed the piss smelling stairs

I found myself on top of a tower block

But not on top of the world

I saw my life unravel and unfold

Mesmerised by Crown Street and the Lancashire plains

I wish I’d visit that place again

I had one chance but I failed to act

I turned into a coward and I turned back

Down the stairs to the living hell

A bottomless ocean that’s not a wishing well

I trampled on a trampoline

So tired of all the cunts so mean

Nowhere to turn

No one to look to 

I fell out of myself

Turned myself inside out

I died inside my soul

I was infested with doubt

From the image of life on St Georges road

The memories still pierce my piercing screams

That smell, those eyes those fucking bad mistakes

That fuels my poems and haunts my dreams.

GEOlogy

Why not come to me and take a stroll along my shore?

Where the wind is warm and the sun is cool

We will map out a world together we will be dynamite

We will be the rock formation that will set the stars alight

From the pacific trench to the lost cities eroded by time

From the smoking gun of a volcano to the lava formed tunnels of love

Every mistake I make will have me quaking in my boots

I would love you for everything from the leaves down to your roots

We will form something that will not take a millennium to show

We will be a shelter from the vicious weather and snow

So can we now gander through the contours of my mind

Laying down the ley lines for the lover to come

It is all natural and it is all to hold

It is geology come geography

Come find the geo in me

Map out our future

Let us study our souls

Come be my geo and destiny

Some people reach too far and wish for the stars

Astrology is complex as geometry is to pet

I want you here beside me on this bed that is earth

I will sow the seeds of freedom showing you what I am worth

Every mountain will be a molehill when we get in our stride

Every coast will be nearer when we start to enjoy the ride

Every  lake a pond that I will bridge with my fears

Every desert will be in harmony when they taste my tears

It is all in the wind and it is all I know

It is me against the universe in my head

Come find the geo in me

I can be electrifying but only if you be my charge

I can be in bloom in the heat that you are

So be my geo and destiny

I never ever wanted ever to say

That the roots will die and we’ll fade away

From lack of food and water and harsh limelight

That we will distant again in another night

The once fertile soils are barren and fallow

That the once flowing river is polluted and narrow

That no pollen can be pollinated ever again

That geo is another little torturous game

The sand castles all come crumbling down in the winter

The beaches are taken away by the hundred year storm

The disaster that is geo

The forests have all been destroyed and turned to cinders

The picnic areas are now infested with rotten human waste

Don’t be the cruelty that is geo

Time will never heal the pain

Don’t ever be geo

Nothing will ever be the same.

GEO know me by now

Maybe my words were not kind

Maybe I had to speak my mind

Maybe my maybes were cruel

Maybe I was a little lazy

Maybe I was a little crazy

Maybe be my maybe and be free

It is hard to decipher the true feelings

It is hard to wiggle out of the riddle

It is hard to be misunderstood

But you should know me by now

Sometimes the words don’t come out right

Sometimes the words just don’t come out at all

Sometimes at the best times I will fall

Sometimes you forget who I am

Sometimes you found that lost man

Sometimes is most times but you never understand

It is a feeling I hold onto like ice

It is a feeling I hold onto like hot coal

My hands will quit feeling some day

But you should know that by now

Anytime could be a bad time

Anytime could be a sacrifice

I wear a tortured stick on smile

For most of my blessed time

I try not to reveal all of my pain

I try not to blurt out what’s on my mind

I try to be down to earth

Geo in my bio has turned to dust

Sandpapering against the grain

The splinters in my hands again

A rough and tumble finish

Too old and bold to be saved

But you should know that by now

Are you ready for the open sores?

Are you ready to decipher my mind?

Are you to be ready for the slaughter?

I am a murderer of all our good times

Don’t wait for me to remember

Don’t wait for me to survive

Don’t wait for the green man to cross

Don’t expect me to stay alive

What did you expect in the belly of the beast?

What did you expect to find behind my eyes?

I mask myself from all your inquisitive souls

Don’t you know me by now?

I walk a cold and lonely path

I try to crawl far away

I am happiest when I am lonely

I don’t want to hurt anyone else

I am suffocated in the crowds

I am naked when we are alone

Feeling bare and exposed and vulnerable

I am a dog without a bone

It is just like a game of hide and seek

I am hiding in the rivers of dread

Dreaming I should be somewhere and someone else

Thinking I have failed every test

Thinking I have let you all down

I didn’t expect me to get so fucking old

Some days I have a silent stare

Some days my presence is everywhere

Like a ghost in the autumn mist

I am frustrating and hard to make out

I am cold as the winters in Siberia

I am fragile as our ecosystem

I damned like the low lying coasts in a tsunami

I don’t seem to reason

And you should know that by now

Because that is what I think

That is why you all walk away

My words sting like a nest of nettles

You don’t need my shit in your day

You have enough problems on your mind

You disappear just to be kind

I have seen it all before

No doubt it will happen again

Cut loose from everyone who tried

Deleted from all your minds.

GEOthermal Intrusion.

It is the heat deep inside of me

That will fuel the fools on fire

It is the complex ancient process

I am the one, I am desire

No stones have been left uncovered

All things grind away

Erosive or corrosive toxic relations

Dust to fucking dust

There was a better day

The other day

But it fell so freely into the sea

There was a good view up on the cliffs

The other day

But it taught me how to be unsteady

There was a glorious day

The other day

I was standing on the highest mound

There was a sickly sensation of vertigo

Just the other day

But it taught me how to know

The difference with what is real in this world

The feeling of being powerful in the right place

In the right time

In the right piece of mind

I can find peace

In the cool whispering winds of spring

The sun that tries its best to warm

Even though it’s a losing battle

Winter still rears its ugly head

Spring tries to take the baton

There is war in the winds

Who will win?

It is a battle that is not seen but felt

The outcome is evident

We only see the outcome of the war

We don’t see the daily grind

And all of its advances and regressions

We don’t want to know every kick of the ball

You know?

Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest

In every fucking thing that is happening around you?

It is not so nuclear and radioactive

It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion

There was a better day

The other day

The orchards were infested with flies

The pesticides had lost their touch

That other day

It taught us all to be less greedy

There was a better day

The other day

The summers were subtle and warm

Now we can’t live without our air-conditioning

Like any other day

Did it teach us the effects of the fragile ozone?

Just like we used to be back in our childhood memories

Where everything was innocent and make believe

None of this social indiscipline

This infighting and territorial advantages at aged six

Gun crime in the corridors of the innocent

I thought I was the only one going crazy

In this twisted wreck of an elaborate maze

The forgotten discarded coarse paper tissues

The undignified not up to the job sticky plasters

That never cover up the graze that needs to be seen

Give the teacher the chemically modified apple

Be sent to detention just to be cool

The schoolyard battles that mummy does not know about

Unfortunately the outcome is evident

We only see the outcome when school is out for summer

We don’t what to hear about their daily grind

And all of the blood and wasted tears

You don’t want to be reminded of your teenage years

You know I know!

Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest

In every fucking thing that is happening around you?

It is not so nuclear and radioactive

It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion

There was a better day

Just the other day

But it felt so lonely in a crowded room

Everybody failed to recognise anybody

Just a normal day

It taught us to be so distant

There should have been a better day

We ignored that day

We felt we should do something selfish and cruel

We ignored what was really human in us

Everyday

It taught us that we are unteachable

We are so cold yet geothermal

Warm on the inside, ice cold on the exterior

Do we really need to stick a tube down your fucking throat

To get some warmth or compassion out of you?

GEOcolense

You found the fool in me

You found me at my most gullible

Even though everything seemed so sweet

I was dead on the inside

I could not get anything right

I was always in the sticky and the wrong

I was to become your worst nightmare

All decisions will be a death sentence

I thought it would be great

I thought it would be cool

I thought that seeing a new life

Will wake me up from lethargic monotonous pathetic fucking life

I am no doctor

But seems the therapy I  prescribed myself

Had a shitload of side effects and undignified consequences

All my decisions happen to be a death sentence

All I wanted was to be in touch with a little reality

It seemed to be I walked through too many forbidden doors

I was bouncing down the wrong kind of neighbourhoods

I was frustrating and angry and wearing the wrong clothes

Far, far away!

I fly into hyperspace and landed in another universe

A parallel world which I hoped was better than mine

It did not take long for my demons to catch up with me

In this warmer plain those bastards were stronger than ever

I struggled a whole lot more

But you did not want to understand

I had so much distress on my fragile plate

I blew a fuse my systems shut down

Far, far away!

The deeper I burrowed into this self-abused corpse

The further away I travelled from all that was sane

I will never, ever forgot that pathetic fax you sent me

That was the wrong move at the wrong time 

Down, down, down

The downward spiral was unleashed and I fell down the hole

Just like some rabbit blinded by the chemicals in its food

Nowhere to go , no friends , no relatives, nothing to hold on to

When this seat beltless terror ride started to gain momentum

The terror never ends,

I put everything on the line, I was burnt out from memories

I had never been so frustrated so fucking stupid

I had a whirlwind of jagged shards violently circling me

Nobody understood all the shit I was going through

I distanced myself further from the few that knew

It is a miracle I survived those years

Back in that geologic period that I call Geocolense

I try to bury all the sticky tar that was left of my wisdom

My well-being punched drunk from people who were immune

From all the problems that a rusted dented car could make

All decisions were a death sentence!

It should have been great

It should have been cool

It should have been a new start

For this hollow pathetic fool

Maybe just maybe you caught me in the act of deprived self-inflicted torture

Nobody wants to know what is swimming below the surface

An old dinosaur that has yet to evolve from the oceans

A primitive life form with jagged sharp teeth and no brain

A hideous virus that has been trapped as bacteria for a millennium

The geologic period that I will now call Geocolense

Scar after scar after blasted fucking scar

That year defaced many things that I was held

Geograffiti etched into the fabric of my soul

Geothermal therapy was just a no go

Maybe I should be like a Motley Crue record

With a big fat Parental Advisory sticker embedded in my mouth 

Maybe then the people who think they know me by now

Will not get offended when I have another one of those days

All the time and money invested into another evaporated dream

Another geological period in this eternal life exposed

Another chapter in a book that should not be read

All my mind was boiled in poison stained into red

Maybe I am the one who has made all the wrong decisions

Maybe what I am feeling now is just a recipe for my disaster

Maybe I should just suffer in silence, my fault and my pain

Maybe all of you should just lock me out in the November rain. 

No words can every convey my dismay

Or going down the wrong garden path

Stupid means stupid and I don’t know any other way

I should reflect, smile or laugh

All decisions led to my death sentence.

ChanGEOver

It was an awarding winning situation

It was the right hole at the right time

Going adventurous on the clean cut green

I got it all down to a lovely tee

Changing tracks on the tracking system

Going for broke when you’ve already missed ‘em

Screaming on the tulips in your slippery clogs

It started to thunder on the isle of dogs

Nothing makes sense when there is poetry noise

The sums never add up when you are missing a cent

Nothing ever becomes clear when the fog lifts up its skirt

We are never satisfied of that copy we sent

Changeover and it’s game over

And geologically insane

We got us all crossing the live rail tracks

Got an APT spluttering towards my back

We have trainspotters with their Paddington marmalade

We have she devils on the leather couch waiting to get laid

We have so many things that just don’t belong

We could have got the porridge but we just didn’t get along

Does a leopard ever change its spots when it goes vegan?

Did the Jackal ever cackle when it had anger issues? Did we become less human when we downloaded the app?

Why don’t we just shut up with this ludicrous crap

Changeover and it’s game over

It’s geographically insane

We got us all skipping on a tightrope

Got an Axl singing on the razor's edge.

And we all know where we have been

But we don’t understand the reason

We went into the wrong direction

The reason we went the wrong way up

That dead end street

Was it to be cool?

Mainly because we are fools

Trying to impress a damsel in distress

Now how do we get out and off this mess?

We complain

But we are the ones to blame

And the fool in the mind is blind

And we travel on and over the condemned bridge

Don’t blame us if you fall into the abyss

And burn!

We have all got to change

Our thoughts

Our steps

Our hearts

And minds

Got to keep

A jingle in your toes

And the sun in your eyes

Drives you blind

And drives you mad

It is going to be a change

You wish you never had

It is a plastic toy

And Barbie girl

Confused with a whim

So give us a twirl

Change over

And bending over

In your moth eaten pullover

Feeling the winds of change

And combing back receding hair

Some things in life

Should not be there

Never makes sense

And pockets full of pence

And the cat has the claws

Just like the in-laws

And the dog got a bag

With its dirty mag

And all of this sounds

Like good shit is going down

And can’t get it to rhyme

It is a blasphemous crime

In the university halls

The tut tut tuts

And that is why 

We have to change

Sir!

DisadvantaGEOus

Answers, questions, timing, words

Misinterpretation absurd

Screaming and dreaming

Your baby bullshit is screaming

It is not in your DNA

To acknowledge a life force like me

You are at odds

You don’t understand

The temperature that can be a man

Without your doubts

Without your shouts

You seem to rub off violently

I am everything I can’t possibly be

I am everything that is hate in me

I am frustrating, annoying and contagious

I am against the grain and disadvantageous

Bad views, no news, no clues

Intoxication absurd

Pulling out and pulling away

Your sombre bullshit decay

It is not in your head

To acknowledge constructively

You are to blame

You can’t say my name

The boiling point that is in this man

Without a gauge

I am in a rage

You seem to rub me off violently

I am everything the world told you I couldn’t be

I am everything my mother had nightmares about

I am destroying, deleting and depleting

I am against your life and disadvantageous

Bloodshot eyes, snotty nose, no tissues

I am a virus diluted with whiskey

Wiping off the shit you placed on me

Your naïve views of the fake fucking news

It has forced into your head

To acknowledge something that was constructed

For them to play a game

You don’t understand

The tipping point of all humanity

Without a measure of doubt

We are a metric system rounded up

It all seems to vibrate violently

I am everything that Facebook would like deleted

I am everything the censors clamber over to reach

I am furious, delirious it’s goddamn ludicrous

I am against everything I am disadvantageous

Fists clenched, ears burning, memories explode

I am the anger you should not mix with

Inside I am pounding and grinding

Your mouth and it’s bullshit erodes

It is not in your puny little brain

To acknowledge that you are meaningless

You talk the talk

Try to walk the walk

But you don’t understand who is the man

So play with your boys

And your worn out sex toys

That you use so violently

I am everything you can never touch

I am everything you desire so much

I am fire, I am insane, I will never be the same

Totally unnecessary and so disadvantageous.

SurGEOn

Cutting up the memories that you need to fade away

Sawing and a clawing and shedding a tear a day

Got a little pretty white suit with straps to tie you down

You’ve got it all sussed like when the pond drowned the duck

You are all crackers and going a little bit senile

The pressure in your heads means your brain cells swell

You are swollen from thought you will burst like a balloon

But I have a lot of shit to do so I hope it ends soon

We have an encrypted folder full of daily photos

A thousand little fake innocents who forgot to wear clothes

Cut it out and delete and return back to the start

Get a life, get a honey and try to grow a heart

No matter how much of the shit we try to cut out

Like a worm cut in two we always have double trouble

We try to erase and sometimes we try to rewind

But we got ourselves in a tangle and no one burst the bubble

You have to be cold like the room of a surgeon

You have to be mechanical and clinical in every way

Don’t let the world do a living breathing autopsy on you

Because you will be no good to anyone when they’re through

When all your best pieces of your life are laying around

Fragile like a Chinese vase shattered beyond repair

It doesn’t matter how often you do the spring cleaning

Dust will settle, acid will corrode life’s not fair

When your intestines are docile and tired in knots

When you intensify passion and you get blood clots

When your heart is pumping venom to your brain

Too late to cut your losses in this never-ending game

Sometimes we can delete our memories way to easily

Like a surgeon cutting away at fat in a doctors surgery

Somethings are incorrect and should not be so polite

We are blind in the end as we never see the light

Nit picking and limb kicking body blow surprise

Squirting fresh lemon juice into someone’s eyes

Find someone else to blame when it’s really you

Scalpel and scalped blunt scissors so askew

There is nothing greater than a methodical surgeon

Instead you are nothing more than a butcher

In a back street run down discount store

You had self-discipline when the sun brightly

But in this dead end darkest ever alley

You are just a withered rose without water

Hacking away at limps hardened with rigor mortis

The butcher’s knife so blunt it may as well be stone

Why are you so determined to hack away these lines

You should walk away with dignity and leave the past alone.

DunGEOn

It has been too good lately

There has been too much daylight between the last episode and the next

It has been surreal really

How I have not gone mental for a couple of weeks almost satisfying

It has been worrying me

Knowing the long interlude means the next time I snap it will be titanic

It will be coming soon

Take cover and hide this will not be pretty at all

When I am done

I will be in the wrong

So many fingers pointing at me

Did you hear?

Did you feel fear?

When the rage popped out of me

He did it again

He must be insane

There is something not right in that boy

Phone the police

Lock him away

Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon

It was violent but not physical

I have so much anger stored inside of me that I needed to release

Obviously I shouldn’t have

Said all those darkest cruellest things that seem unjust and unfair and excessive

My words cut deep