ASD? ASB! Autism Spectrum Blessing: Inclusion, Rinzai Zen, Diagnosis, Therapy, Addiction, Neurotypical, Overload, Meltdown, Shutdown, Masking, post-traumatic stress disorder E-Book

Rolf Horst

• Herausgeber: tredition
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 91

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

Carolina is now 58 and happily married. She has a cat and a dog and both come from animal welfare organisations. In this way, she was able to give maltreated souls a loving home. And the animals, especially the dog, give her day a structure. That was particularly important to her. She had never understood why, but now she had clarity. She was on the autism spectrum! Until recently, its degree was still referred to as Asperger's syndrome, but due to the large number of different manifestations, it is now only referred to as autism spectrum disorder. And in this context, remember a quote from an author I don't know: ‘If you know an autistic person, then you know an autistic person!

Leseprobe

Rolf Horst

ASD? ASB! Autism Spectrum Blessing

or inclusion is not a one-way street

Carolina is now 58 and happily married. She has a cat and a dog and both come from animal welfare organisations. In this way, she was able to give maltreated souls a loving home. And the animals, especially the dog, give her day a structure. That was particularly important to her. She had never understood why, but now she had clarity. She was on the autism spectrum! Until recently, its degree was still referred to as Asperger's syndrome, but due to the large number of different manifestations, it is now only referred to as autism spectrum disorder. And in this context, remember a quote from an author I don't know: ‘If you know an autistic person, then you know an autistic person!’

Rolf Horst

ASD? ASB! AutismSpectrumBlessing

orinclusion is not aone-way-street

Biographic story 

The author: Rolf Horst was born in Bremen in 1960. He lives with his wife, a dog, and a cat, both of whom come from animal welfare, near a small north German town. Nieke Horst, today 60, has been diagnosed as autist, Studied German Studies, French, Adult Education and Sport. She practised Japanese Rinzai Zen for many years and also spent time in a monastery in Japan. With her husband, developed her way of life of silence, simplicity and structure, which makes it her possible to live on the edge of an ignorant, neurotypical society.

© 2025 Rolf Horst

ISBN Softcover:       978-3-384-63011-7ISBN Hardcover:       978-3-384-63012-4ISBN E-Book:       978-3-384-63013-1 

Printing and distribution on behalf of the author:tredition GmbH, Heinz-Beusen-Stieg 5, 22926 Ahrensburg, Germany.

The work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. The author is responsible for the content. Any utilization is not permitted without its consent. The publication and distribution are on behalf of the author to achieve under: tredition GmbH, Department "Impressumservice", Heinz-Beusen-Stieg 5, 22926 Ahrensburg, Germany.

Contact address according to the EU Product Safety Ordinance: [email protected]

for Nieke

Table of Contents

Prologue      9ChapterNew beginning      13

Paths:      Therapy 1 and retrospective      19

Rinzai-Zen      27

Therapy 2 – Addiction is not curable      35

Therapy 3 – Refusal and escape      43

Spiritual wrong ways      47

Living space shelter nightmare      65

Diagnoses and other errors      95

Clarity and calm      103

Epilogue      107

Attachment      109

Prologue

My wife always says: ‘Inclusion is not a one-way street!’ And she knows what she's talking about, as she has to struggle every day with the lack of understanding of a neurotypical society that constantly demands that everyone has to be the way the ‘social mechanism’ dictates. But autistic people have to engage in very strenuous masking and push themselves to their limits in order to appear anywhere near neurotypical.My wife is always amazed by this, and she says: 'You don't demand that wheelchair users stand up and walk just because that's how you do it. Why must I behave as an autistic person as if I were neurotypical? I need my quiet, my structure, my simplicity, then I feel comfortable.' I don't need small talk, neon signs, loud noises or hectic people around me. That makes me sick! I need projects in which I am challenged with my knowledge and skills. Then I can also work together with other people. Whether in the field, in the choir, in the catering kitchen or handing out food in a social institution: As long as people leave me alone, don't force conversations on me and are okay with me simply going home after work, everything is fine. I don't like this forced social proximity, where people have to go to the pub afterwards to have a drink together after work or a shared hobby.’

There are autism therapy centres where children and young people are helped to cope with their environment. Why are there actually no neurotypical therapy centres? Here, society could be taught how to deal with differently abled people. Of course, the first step would be to ask these people what they need and how they should and must be treated so that they feel comfortable.

I am autistic and I like being autistic! So take me as I am, I don't want to be any different. For me, the diagnosis of autism is not a disease, but salvation. I don't have an autism spectrum disorder, I have an autism spectrum blessing.

Autism is now on everyone's lips, but it is as diverse as nature and we humans are. There is no such thing as “the autistic person”, the “clinical pictures” or “developmental disorders”, as we neurotypical people call them, are too different. There is a lot being written, blogged, talked about, and countless videos of people with an ASD or their relatives can be found online. Yes, even though scientists and doctors agree that autism is not curable, there are also videos on the internet of people claiming to be among the 'cured.' Getting a diagnosis is very difficult and time-consuming, especially when it comes to waiting times. Psychiatrists and clinics with an autism outpatient service have long lists of patients waiting for a diagnostic appointment, and this waiting time has now reached 2 years or more.

This book is not meant to be another guide, but rather focuses on the autistic character Carolina as a figure in a novel. The journey from toddlerhood to being diagnosed as an Asperger autistic – this term is outdated – is marked by detours and missteps. It is a long path to the realization: I am not wrong – I am just right as I am! For all those years, Caro has been repeatedly asked to behave neurotypical. No one has taken the effort to really look and question what she needs. It is always said: "You are exaggerating," "Don't make such a fuss." No matter where, no matter who, Carolina is expected to adapt and behave in a manner that is deemed appropriate by 'normal' society. But why not let autists be as they are and encourage them in their abilities?

Any similarities or matches with living or deceased persons would be purely coincidental and not intentional.

New beginning

1987 There it was again, that tight feeling around her chest, so tight that she couldn't breathe. Also that lump in her throat that made it impossible to speak, and that feeling of lead in her arms. She couldn't raise her hand to speak up and give an answer. Had she just thought about saying something? In this room full of strangers? Impossible!

„Carolina?“

She had never spoken up of her own accord in any of the school branches. What did the reports from elementary school say: 'She is too quiet!' or 'She does not participate or participates too little in class!'

„Caro?“

Or later at grammar school. She, as the daughter of a pub owner, who was also his own best customer, among all the rich and beautiful. No, she never raised her hand, because fear – was it really fear? - was breathing down her neck. And she didn't want to make a fool of herself, others took care of that – teachers too!And this image appeared before her mind again: "You have beautiful teeth!", said the teacher, who was both a social educator and the deputy principal, to her, and she was just about to smile. "Are there any in white?" The smile froze into a grimace, and she would have preferred to sink into the earth. For that sentence, she hated him, and even years later, she wished the "plague on his neck" for it.

„Carolina? You look so thoughtful, as if you have something important to say about our topic.”

She looked up and saw the face of her lecturer. Suddenly she remembered that she was in the evening class at the adult school, and YES, she had something to say.

The teacher and her fellow students looked at her in astonishment. Carolina had joined the class six months after starting school and had never participated before. But now she didn't stop at all, and what she said made sense! The lecturer was pleased with himself because he had once again had the right instinct. You had to prompt her carefully, then it went by itself. From that moment on, he maintained eye contact with Carolina in class as much as possible. Whenever he noticed that she wanted to participate but was somehow blocked, he encouraged her with a look or prompted her directly. Additionally, he also informed his colleagues so that Carolina received support from all sides.

Later, when it came to the oral exams, something happened that she had never expected. She had asked the lecturers in advance whether it would be possible for the director not to be present during the exam. This was not usual. When Carolina entered the room, the director of the evening school was also sitting there. He looked at Caro, smiled, stood up and left the room. For the exam, he left her alone with the three lecturers – two of whom shared the position.

The stone that fell from her heart here could have triggered a worldwide earthquake.

Carolina and another young woman graduated as the best in their class with a score of 1.1 in their A-levels. Now there was a special feature: Due to challenging conditions – compared to a regular A-level – the candidates received a bonus of 0.5 points! This resulted in a calculated NC of 0.6. Now she could attend any degree program at any university.

Caro didn't want to leave the city at all. Here she had her part-time jobs, her apartment, and her routines. So she enrolled at the local university. German studies, French, and physical education for teaching seemed just right for her. How disappointed she was when she sat for the first time in one of those musty lecture halls with an unbearable noise level.