5,99 €
Turn up the volume, grab a cold drink, and climb aboard the Black Halo hard rocking, dirty, sexy, crazy train.
Good girl, Dani Fosbrook is dating a sinfully hot rock god. Eager to flee her religious upbringing, she dives on the opportunity to join goth rockers Black Halo on their European tour.
But life on the road brings its own dilemmas. Never mind the challenges of being squashed onto a bus with five bad boy rock stars and her lover’s ex, there’s also a smoking hot roadie with an eye for her man, and a saboteur at work.
As the threats to the band and Dani and Xane’s relationship escalate, can they all come together and make the tour work, or it is time for everyone to part ways?
“A ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ rating. Wow just wow! This series is the freaking bomb and I can’t wait for the next book.” Tattered Book Blog
DEEP DIVE INTO THE WORLD OF BLACK HALO:
XANE: (Come Undone, Come Together, Come Alive.)
ASH: (All Night Long, All Fired Up, All Right Now.)
SPOOK: (Off the Record, Reflex, Replay, Refrain, Revive)
ROCK GIANT: (Reckless Beat)
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
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-About the Book-
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-Epilogue (Come Alive)
-Rockstars & Rakehells-
Also By Madelynne Ellis
About the Author
ROCK HARD #2: A BLACK HALO NOVEL
MADELYNNE ELLIS
WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | NEWSLETTER | READERS GROUP
Copyright © Madelynne Ellis 2014, & 2019. All Rights Reserved.
Cover Art by Madelynne Ellis
Originally published by Mischief, HarperCollins 2014.
Incantatrix Press version first published May 2019.
This version published May 2024.
www.madelynne-ellis.com
This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously, and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or to events or places is coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Licence Notes: This ebook is licenced for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Turn up the volume, grab a cold drink, and climb aboard the Black Halo hard rocking, dirty, sexy, crazy train.
She's dating a sinfully hot rock star, but can she hold on to him?
Bad boy goth rockers Black Halo have reunited for a requiem tour. Good girl,
Dani Fosbrook has never known freedom. Now, she's squashed onto a tour bus with five horny rock stars and her lover's ex.
If threats from jealous fans and battling her own crippling insecurities weren't bad enough, there's a smoking hot roadie on the tour with an eye on her man.
Xane claims he's committed, but with so much to tempt him, can she trust him not to stray?
When sabotage puts the entire tour in jeopardy, can Xane, Dani, and the rest of the band come together to unearth the culprit, or is their love doomed to die alongside the band?
***
“A 5 star rating. Wow just wow! This series is the freaking bomb and I can’t wait for the next book.”
~ Tattered Book Blog
“…smoking hot and very entertaining.” Bound by Books.
“This was a great read and I highly recommend the books from this series. More than just sex Dani and Xane share this undeniable need for each other. I was swept away by this story.” Kissin Blue Karen
“I really love the characters and the interaction among the band members. That really makes this book – and the series itself – special.” – Margay Roberge for the Examiner.com
***
Please note ~ Come Together is the second part of Xane and Dani’s story. In order to appreciate it fully, it is recommended that you first read Come Undone.
DEEP DIVE INTO THE WORLD OF BLACK HALO:
XANE: (Come Undone, Come Together, Come Alive.)
ASH: (All Night Long, All Fired Up, All Right Now.)
SPOOK: (Off the Record, Reflex, Replay, Refrain, Revive.)
ROCK GIANT (Reckless Beat.)
To discover more about Madelynne’s books, sign up to be part of her newsletter email list.
Sweden. Three years ago …
“I should get you one of those,” Xane remarked to his best friend Steve Matlock, pointing out the slogan on the T-shirt of the guy standing at the end of the VIP bar.
“‘I love to bang,’” Steve read, and chuckled over the stick-figure drawing of a man beating the hell out of a set of drums. “Like it. Do you reckon there’s a whole set, so we can have one each?” The pair were two sixths of the rock band Black Halo, and they’d just blown the frigging minds of the thousands-strong crowd around the main stage at the Sölvesborg Rock Festival with their explosive gothic freak-show. While the rest of the band members were still scrawling their signatures over various pieces of female anatomy, Xane and Steve had slipped into the VIP tent for some celebratory drinks. After all, it wasn’t every day you went platinum before breakfast and got to psych the crowd up for Ozzy in the evening. Xane figured he’d be riding this particular high for weeks, if not months. It’d been a long while coming, but their dedication was finally paying off.
“What would Ash’s say?”
“‘I love licking,’” Xane suggested. Their lead guitarist was widely rumoured to have a magic tongue. Chances were he was giving it a workout right now, charming the panties off their female fans in order to guarantee their future loyalty. It certainly spread the word about them more successfully than any flyer campaign.
“Yeah, and ‘I love to touch base’ for Paul. And maybe ‘I practise the rhythm method’ for Spook.”
“Except he doesn’t.” Their rhythm guitarist Spook Mortensen didn’t need to employ contraceptive methods because he never had sex, a fact Xane still struggled to get his head around. He wasn’t sure how anyone managed to function without getting horizontal on a regular basis – like a minimum of three times a day and preferably more. Not that he insisted on being horizontal – he was equally happy getting his rocks off standing, sitting or swinging from the rafters. Hell, in pretty much any position imaginable. He was flexible like that. Xane was flexible about a lot of things, which was how he’d come to move on from the interesting shirt to the far more interesting body beneath it, and the very cute guy to whom it belonged. And he did mean very cute.
“What would yours say?” Steve asked, still focused on clothing slogans.
“‘Throat job.’”
“‘Throat job’,” seriously? That makes it sound like you’re up for sucking dick … Oh!” Steve caught up with the direction in which Xane’s thoughts had wandered. “I guess you are. You know that doesn’t guarantee he is?”
“He is.” The guy had been casting him not so surreptitious glances since they’d walked in.
“I think it’s more likely he’s out to bang chicks.”
The guy had two of them hanging on his every word, but neither had his attention. That was hotly focused on Xane. The man was literally eating him up with that five-yard stare.
Xane didn’t recognise him but, with 30-something groups on the roster ranging from virtual unknowns to the megastars of the genre that was no big surprise. What he did recognise was a man dedicated to his craft. You only got arms like that, a physique like that, through drumming. He knew. He’d admired Steve’s body often enough.
“Can’t you stick to wrapping your lips around a bottle?” Steve ordered them another two beers.
Xane whistled an uh-uh sound across the neck of his beer. Alcohol just didn’t give him the same warm and fuzzies as a robust workout. It had a habit of making him miserable instead, and tonight he intended to stay firmly in the happy camp. He was not going to wallow in the shitty events of his past. Fuck his siblings, fuck his parents and … you know, fucking sounded like a really good plan right now.
“All right, so let’s go find ourselves some nice young ladies.”
“Actually, I’m good with what’s on offer here.”
Steve turned his back to the bar and chugged another mouthful of beer. Concern lines furrowed the area between his wing-like brows. “Xane, he’s totally not hitting on you. He’s probably staring because we just played the best set of this festival.”
“Totally is hitting on me. He’s itching to unwrap my dick and go down on me.”
The slap Steve gave the back of his head didn’t dispel the notion. Some things you just knew on a gut level, and this happened to be one of them.
“Mate, if you go over there and suggest that, you’re going to get yourself beaten senseless.”
“One hopes.” So far, no one had given him an orgasm that good. Xane refused to be put off by Steve’s efforts to keep him on the straight and narrow. He didn’t see why everyone got so antsy about his mutable tastes. He patted down his jacket pockets, making sure he was all set for the fun ahead. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy and horny at the same time. Normally he fucked to achieve a state of contentment, and then used the little piece of cloud nine he landed on to float through the following hours without succumbing to the shit that messed with his equilibrium on a daily basis.
His response prompted Steve to pinch the bridge of his nose, which did nothing to remove the furrows. “You don’t know who he is. You don’t know where he’s been.”
Nor did he need to. Those things didn’t matter. He wasn’t looking for a life partner, just a quick bit of fun. “And the same would be true of any woman I picked up. Catch you later.” He saluted Steve with his beer, took a final swig, and left the bottle on the bar. Xane didn’t speak to the guy, he didn’t even approach him. He simply held his gaze before heading for the exit, and, what do you know, two minutes later mister blond and beautiful – who was called Luthor – was literally begging to go down on him.
Another person might have simply rolled with that, sat back, lapped up the attention and come down his throat without giving a damn thing in return. Xane disliked such selfishness. How could anyone abuse something this pretty? Besides, he wasn’t looking for a quick release. If that was all he needed, he could achieve that with his own hand. No, he wanted a long, slow, hard ride with this man, the sort that would give him the chance to savour every inch of perfection, every blessed angle.
“Tell me what you need. Let me –”
“Sh-h!” Xane silenced him with some seriously devil-may-care kisses. This didn’t need to involve conversation. He didn’t want to hear about his performance. He’d already gathered the man had watched him on stage and decided then that he was willing to do pretty much anything the fuck Xane wanted him to. He didn’t want to exchange pointless pleasantries or have a heart-to-heart. What he wanted, in the words of Marc Bolan, was easy action.
Thank fuck the guy seemed to catch on quickly. Xane’s kisses were rewarded with matching fervour. Luthor had a mouth made for pleasure, wide, with a full lower lip, and it tilted upwards at the corners, making him seem cheerful even when his face was relaxed. He knew how to kiss too, unlike some men, who seemed to think it was all about being savage and clashing teeth. In fact, he seemed to know a hell of a lot about how to coax joy into being with every cell of his body. The guy had a sensuality that made Xane’s nerves vibrate – in a good way. There was a grace about him too that seemed almost at odds with his rather sharp physique. He was all long limbs, slender hips and compact muscle. Very nice to hold and undress, and no doubt a knockout to look at.
However, none of those things entranced Xane the way the man’s eyes did. He hadn’t noticed them in the VIP tent – they’d been standing too far apart – but up close, even in the dark they caught Xane’s attention and refused to release him. He’d never seen eyes like those before: one tawny, one sea-green. Natural, too, not achieved with lenses like his own Evil Dead look. Luthor possessed eyes that seemed to reflect the duality of being, making it near impossible to look away.
Normally, Xane avoided looking into the eyes of the people he fucked. It saved him from emotional entanglements he wasn’t seeking. With Luthor there didn’t seem to be any avoiding it.
“Yeah,” he hissed as the sweet caress of cool air tickled his skin, and Luthor formed a fist around his shaft. He swept his hold upwards in a satisfying pull towards the tip, making energy spike through all seven chakras at once. “Let me,” Xane insisted, craving more skin-on-skin contact. He grabbed Luthor’s arse and grinned delightedly at the way the springy muscle tightened beneath his palm. He intended to explore every bloody inch of this man, from the pretty ridges of his hip bones to the soles of his feet. He was going to taste him and possess him, and they were both going to know what it felt like to make the universe turn.
“Oh, man,” Luthor gasped, as Xane dropped to his knees and yanked Luthor’s jeans down over his narrow hips without bothering to loosen them. They were barely holding up anyway, and he didn’t want to wait any longer for his prize. “Are you gonna …”
Yeah, he totally was. He wanted the taste of this man on his tongue, the smooth, sabre-like curve of his cock filling his mouth. Sometimes it just felt ridiculously good to engage in a bit of repetitive motion.
All right, a lot of repetitive motion, because once he’d got Luthor good and wet and excited, Xane intended to get intimately acquainted with some other fun parts of his anatomy.
Xane kept his hands busy as he sucked, and not just at the base of the guy’s cock. He squeezed, he coaxed and caressed. He wriggled his fingers someplace warm and tight and that turned Luthor into such a quivering wreck that he could barely keep himself upright and had to weave his fingers into Xane’s hair to maintain his balance.
Not long after that, they ended up on the ground, scrabbling about, too desperate for contact to disentangle themselves efficiently from one another and their clothing.
Xane didn’t notice stripping almost naked, only the inferno that burst into being when Luthor wrapped his palm around both their cocks and worked them together.
“Have you got something?” he asked, both clinging onto Xane and almost pushing him away at the same time. Like he wasn’t sure if this wasn’t good enough, and maybe they should come like this and avoid ramping things up any further, except he wanted the other way to happen so badly too, because the first way was too quick and would be over too fast. Neither of them was ready to part ways just yet.
Luthor’s eyes lit as Xane produced condoms and slathered them in lube. They were both breathing heavily and momentarily kiss-drunk as he got them lined up. It was easy, so very easy, as all the best fucks were. It wasn’t too tight or too awkward, there were no tense moments where they had to hold one another in check so they could breathe and relax. It was simply right. Everything worked, and it felt so goddamned wonderful that even if they did it a thousand times over it would never grow old.
Luthor mouthed the side of Xane’s neck as they fucked to the hum of “Paranoid” that drifted over to them from the festival stage.
“Bite me,” Xane encouraged. “Leave a mark behind.” He enjoyed nothing better than the feel of a lover’s mouth against his neck. It drove him fucking demented. He liked the marks they left behind too. Wore them like badges to the bemusement of the rest of the band. To Xane they were reminders that for at least a few brief moments he’d belonged, truly belonged to someone, enough for them to want to stamp their mark on him. He stamped a hell of a lot of marks all over Luthor, not that he thought for one second about actually keeping him.
He got Luthor off right before he came inside him, staring into those mesmerising mismatched eyes.
Xane floated for a few minutes, enjoying the roar of bliss in his ears and the whiplash bite of his orgasm pushing its way out of his body. It wasn’t enough, though. He went straight back down on Luthor again, got him stupidly hard. He knew a trick or two that made it easy and fun. This time round, he let Luthor do the sliding. Fair’s fair. He loved fucking, loved the feel of his cock enclosed in all that enveloping heat, but sometimes it felt damn good to be shafted too.
Xane never dished out what he couldn’t take.
It wasn’t such a straight glide with him on the bottom. It felt fucking fantastic, though. “God, yes!” Luthor’s breath scalded the back of his neck as he pressed in deep. He ached as his hips rolled, but in a way that made his cock springy and hard and set his synapses alight. He didn’t care that he’d be sore tomorrow, or that he’d still be able to feel the heat of Luthor’s cock inside him, because then he could squeeze his muscles and remember. A shiver ran through him, almost making him lose it. The gig had ended, leaving the chirps of nocturnal insects as their only accompaniment. Sweat broke out across his body and pooled in the places where his and Luthor’s skin touched. The man was like a flaming brand inside him, burning him up, making him feverish, but still pushing him ever closer to an explosive reward.
Curious, how one subtle shift could make such a huge difference. Xane angled his hips up as Luthor drove forward. The tip of his cock hit Xane’s prostate. Everything moved up a gear. “I’ve got you,” Luthor murmured. “I’ve got you.” He held on tight, not pausing, and still fluid in his assault. “Stay with me. I’m almost there too. Oh, Lord, the grip of you …”
Another thrust … or two … and they hit tipping point.
For a few brief moments Xane existed entirely in a higher realm. Then he fragmented into a million pieces. Hot joy streaked along his shaft and poured from his cock. He felt the pulse of Luthor coming hard inside him. They clung together tight, and it seemed as if it might last for ever. It lasted a good long while.
Xane thought it might be the best fuck he’d ever had. He didn’t think anyone else was going to bang him half so well anytime soon. As they lay side by side, spent, while the sweat of their exhaustion cooled their overheated skin, Xane decided Luthor’s T-shirt slogan needed an addendum. “I love to bang” ought to read “I love to bang … and I’m fucking awesome at it.”
It was a shame their paths never did cross again …
England
“Xane, they’re waiting on us. Soundcheck, now.”
Xane Geist cracked open his dressing-room door, still uncertain this was the right decision. A little over six weeks ago he’d been ready to pull the plug on Black Halo; now they were about to embark on a European tour. That was assuming they could get through a gig together, and not just because there was a slew of unresolved issues still to work out between them. Steve Matlock’s death might have officially reunited them, but it was also the reason they were all reeling in shock. If he hadn’t had Dani to hold on to, he wasn’t sure he’d have even been upright. It was hard to function when part of your heart had been ripped out. Not that Xane was any stranger to loss. He had a mantra that kept him going in difficult times. Smile. Feel. Orgasm. Bliss. It worked quite well for blotting out reality, particularly when it was recited while engaged in mindless sex.
Not that he engaged in mindless sex. Not anymore. He wouldn’t do that to Dani and he didn’t fuck anyone else. He strived to keep his thoughts focused when he was fucking her. It wasn’t so difficult, since she seemed to have swallowed what was left of his heart now that Steve was gone.
Steve was gone. He still struggled with that concept. The guy was only twenty-six.
As soon as Dani got back, he was going to crush her in his arms and lock them together in a way that made them both feel good. He needed to feel good. He had to sing to a crowd tonight.
It was damn hard to sing with your throat locked tight with emotion.
He recited his mantra again, even attempted to turn the corners of his mouth up a little. It didn’t work.
Fucking was definitely on the agenda, as soon as Dani got here … literally as soon as. It wasn’t using her. He needed her. Dani knew how to take his pain away.
“No girl with you?” Paul “Rock Giant” Reed, the band’s bass guitarist, slouched against the corridor wall opposite Xane’s door. “I thought you took your nubile little wench everywhere with you these days.”
Xane held his breath and counted to ten before stepping out of the room. He was not going to deck Rock Giant as his opening move, though if the idiot made any more crass remarks Xane refused to be held accountable for his actions. Dani was no groupie. She was his girlfriend, and he’d have her treated with bloody respect. “Shut the fuck up,” he muttered. Rock Giant was six foot six of muscle, not counting the signature gravity-defying spikes of his hair, but Xane refused to feel intimidated. He had the same soft points as every man, and Xane would happily prove that point. Swinging his fists was sometimes almost as good as sex.
“I just thought you might officially introduce her, since Graham informs me she’s joining us on the tour.”
Fan-bleedin’-tastic! Trust their blabbermouth of a manager, Graham Callahan, to leak that fact. In the interests of not causing undue friction – because, goddammit, there was enough already – Xane had planned to make that announcement to the band as a whole, preferably while Dani was with him, in the hope that they’d all be sweet about it. He didn’t consider that he needed their permission to invite her along, but the fewer ructions before they hit the road the better. So far, the day didn’t seem to be stacking up so well in that regard.
“What happened to the policy of no extras on the bus, eh? If you’re bringing someone, then what’s to stop the rest of us doing the same? I don’t want to share a bus with Ash’s bloody harem.”
“I’m not bringing someone. I’m bringing my girlfriend, which is hardly comparable to Ash inviting along a score of groupies.” It was pretty safe to say none of them besides Ash wanted that.
“So we’re back to one rule for you and some other crap for the rest of us?” Rock Giant grumbled, his voice so low and grouchy it sounded like boulders colliding. “Might have known. Why is it you get to be such a special snowflake, Xane? We should all have to live by the same rules. I say let’s stick to the band and crew, and no hangers-on. We need to make this work, and it’ll be easier with less people around to get in the way.”
Fuck that! Dani’s coming wasn’t open to negotiation. Dani was the primary reason he was even prepared to consider this tour. She understood him in a way that pretty much everyone else didn’t, with maybe the exception of his cousin Ric Liddell.
Steve had understood him too.
Xane shut down that line of thought immediately. Thinking about Steve wasn’t going to help him keep it together.
“It’s not as if you’ve known her very long. Have you had her background checked?”
“Piss off!”
Rock Giant halted, pretty much forcing Xane to do the same unless he wanted to squeeze round him. “I won’t, and you’ll listen. Have you even considered how you bringing this girl will make Elspeth feel? You’re flaunting your new lay in front of her while she’s mourning the loss of her husband. Real sympathy you’re showing.”
“It’s not just her loss.” And he sure as hell didn’t owe their petite keyboardist anything. He’d tried to feel sorry for her, but she’d scarred him too deeply, and she’d certainly never considered his feelings when she ran off with his best mate to get married. “She dumped me, remember.” Plus, there was the fact that he couldn’t help blaming her, at least in part, for what had subsequently happened. If Elspeth hadn’t set things in motion, then maybe, just maybe, Steve Matlock would still have been with them now.
Not that he placed the blame entirely on her. Too many variables had impacted on events. God knows, he’d been ruminating on them ever since. What if he hadn’t gone to Monaco? What if Steve hadn’t followed? What if, instead of running after the fight in the casino, he’d talked things through with Steve? That way the guy would have had someone with him. Someone to call for help. And even if the worst had still come to pass, at least Steve wouldn’t have died alone.
He had excruciating nightmares over that last fact.
“You’re such a fuckwit, Xane. Elspeth’s lost her husband, and you’re still bemoaning the fact she dumped you for a nicer guy. She ought to be home piecing herself back together, not heading out on tour. We should have held off a while longer.”
Holding off hadn’t been an option, although he agreed that time might have benefited them all. He’d pissed off too many fans when he’d walked off stage at their last gig, and they now needed to appease them. It was past time they made up for that show and moved forward. Their real fans had cut them some slack following Steve’s tragic death, but sympathy only extended so far. It was essential they proved to the masses that they could still kick ass, and deserved the accolades they’d won.
“Elspeth didn’t have to come,” he said. He hadn’t forced anyone to sign up, and, to be perfectly honest, he thought the band might be happier without her. He didn’t really want her around, acting as a constant reminder.
“You’d seriously do this without her? We’re honouring her dead husband, and you’d leave her behind? She’s the most right out of all of us to be included. I wish to God you’d admit that, instead of constantly trying to co-opt her grief.”
“Co-opt her grief,” he muttered, flabbergasted by Rock Giant’s gall. Xane and Steve had been best friends since they were eleven. They’d been lovers for nearly eighteen months, and had been to hell and back together several times over. Just because Steve had ultimately chosen Elspeth didn’t mean Xane’s feelings for the guy were any less sincere than Elspeth’s, or any less intense – assuming Elspeth was capable of that level of depth. He doubted the authenticity of everything she’d ever said to him, other than her delight in screwing him up when she said goodbye.
Rock Giant did so love acting as her knight protector, though. “You know the bit that really doesn’t add up, Xane?” he continued, determined, it seemed, to stir things up. “It’s the fact that you make like you’re so devastated because the pair of them dumped you, but then you dive into bed with Dani less than twelve hours later. That’s not the action of someone who’s lost the love of his life. I don’t think you were in love. I think your pride got hurt, because they chose one another over being with you.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Paul didn’t know a damn thing. Only what Elspeth had told him, which would be half-truths at best. Xane slapped his hand against a poster they passed, and tore it from the wall. He really was trying hard not to let this devolve into a fight, but connecting his shin with Rock Giant’s nuts was looking increasingly appealing.
“I say we vote on your girl coming along.”
Xane sucked the ring that pierced the centre of his lower lip, and wished he’d already applied his full mask of stage make-up. The veneer of pan-stick white mixed with blood and kohl made schooling his expressions so much easier. Rather than engage in a pantomime back and forth, he simply shook his head. They weren’t voting. If it came to it, he and Dani could ride on the main bus and anyone who objected to her presence could bunk up with Ash on the sleazemobile – the rust-bucket of a bus that was ostensibly meant to house the road crew but inevitably became Ash’s shagging pad. Somehow, he suspected Dani’s presence wouldn’t be quite so objectionable to them when faced with that prospect.
Honestly, he didn’t know what the hell they could find to object about her anyway. She wasn’t exactly high drama. She was the sort of girl mothers dreamed you’d bring home. Most mothers at any rate; his had never given a shit.
“She’s coming, and that’s the end of it,” he muttered. “If you don’t like it, take your bass and stuff it up your arse.” He was getting one thing straight from the outset. He wasn’t going to be walked all over or taken for granted any more. This band was his outfit. He wrote the material, he was the creative force behind it. Every bugger else was replaceable. He expected a little respect.
To his astonishment, Rock Giant clapped him on the back. “OK, bring your girl, but try and cut Elspeth some slack, please. She is genuinely a mess right now. Losing Steve’s hit her bloody hard. It’s hit us all hard, I know, but …” He shook his head. “You’ll see.”
You’re dead to me, Dani, if you go with him. Dead – like your father. Men don’t love. They only think with their dicks. He’s using you. He’ll discard you, just as soon as he’s sucked all the goodness from you.
She made Xane sound like a vampire.
Dani’s finger hovered over the delete button. As mementos went it was a strange one to want to preserve. Then again, it summed up her mother perfectly – batshit crazy, preachy, lacking in genuine understanding or warmth. It also succinctly summarised why Dani was here and not with her mum, locked inside the religious commune that’d been her home since the age of eleven.
Xane might tempt her to sin, but he sure made it a lot of fun, whereas being a good girl the whole time was deadly dull. She didn’t want to turn into the sort of sanctimonious leech her mother and the other women of the Sisterhood of St Agatha’s were. She wanted to live and love, experience what the world had to offer. And yes, it totally did help that the world in this current context happened to possess washboard abs, the voice of Lucifer and waist-length hair the colour of midnight.
Xane Geist could turn her insides mushy with a single glance. He rocked her goddamned world. Hers and a couple of million other folks’ – but she was the only one he was taking on tour.
“Dani Fosbrook?”
Dani peeped up from her phone screen. The voice didn’t belong to Xane, nor to anyone else she recognised. Although, to be fair, she couldn’t see much of the man’s face, because of the asymmetrical cut of his blond hair. Crew, she gathered, given his Black Halo “Requiem for the Damned” T-shirt and khaki cut-offs stuffed with guitar strings and bits of electrical cable.
“I’m here to take you backstage.”
Hallelujah! She’d been sitting waiting for someone to fetch her for far too long. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but ever since a certain video clip of her and Xane together had gone viral, she’d become an object of curiosity – the rock star’s girlfriend. Hence the queuing fans with their faces pressed to the glass doors.
Unbidden, her escort hefted her suitcase, proving he had muscle hiding beneath that lean physique. She’d squeezed most of her worldly possessions into that bag.
“Ready?” He swiped them through a set of security doors.
Dani trotted along behind him. She’d never been more ready in her life, though she was nervous about properly meeting the rest of the band. It didn’t matter how many times Xane told her it’d be all right, she couldn’t entirely quell her butterflies. Black Halo were massive, and she’d been a fan of theirs for eternity. She still regularly pinched herself to check her relationship with Xane was real. Also, she wasn’t sure how much they blamed her for Xane skipping out on them after their last live performance. They might consider her major trouble.
“First tour with the band?”
She nodded.
“Mine too. I guess we’ll be seeing a fair bit of one another.” He pushed back his curtain of long hair, revealing a pair of intriguing mismatched irises, one pale-green and one hazel. Both shone with excitement. “I’m Luthor.”
“Pleased to meet you.”
He gave her an endearing lopsided grin. “You’re not what I was expecting.”
“Meaning?” she asked, fearing the worst. People didn’t seem to like that she and Xane were together. She still wondered at the miracle of it herself. It didn’t seem to matter how often Xane said he loved her, part of her still expected him to wake one morning and wonder what the fuck he was doing with her – a screwed-up nobody, not especially pretty or clever, and with welts across her soul and body that might never heal.
For the most part, she didn’t even dress like a rock star’s girlfriend. She currently had on a pair of old jeans, a faded long-sleeved T-shirt and only a smidge of make-up.
Luthor shook his head, reinstating the curtain of hair over his eyes. “I only meant that I didn’t know he had a steady girlfriend.”
“Where’ve you been living, Mars?” She’d have bet money on the whole world having seen that video.
“Malmö.”
Dani paused a moment to interpret the unfamiliar place-name. “Malmö, where is that?”
“Sweden.”
“You’re not English?”
He dropped her suitcase in order to release a bellyful of laughter. “You needn’t sound so surprised. Not everyone in the world is.”
“I know, but you don’t have an accent.”
He leaned closer, so his breath stirred the wisps of hair around her face, making them tickle her cheek. “Does it make you feel better if I talk like this?” She could hear it then, the soft inflection on certain words. It sent a tingle down her spine. Damn, he sounded sexy. She could imagine that purr driving a woman wild in bed.
Dani turned away from him, mortified by the heat that a few incongruous words whispered in her ear had generated. She wasn’t a free agent any more to be thinking random wicked thoughts about handsome strange men. She belonged to the sexiest man on the planet. Besides, Xane could do incredible stuff with his voice. He commanded the attention of stadiums full of people. His whispers invoked wild emotions. They could turn hearts inside out and even the tiniest of his growls dampened her and a million other women’s knickers.
She was moist now, merely thinking about him, which just proved that two weeks apart had been too long. They’d been surviving on nightly phone calls and sexting, which didn’t compensate for genuinely being together.
She hadn’t wanted them to be apart, but she’d had to face her mum and put a few things, like her degree, on hold. Taking charge of her life meant cutting a few tethers. On the plus side, she wasn’t beholden to anyone any longer.
“Aren’t we heading to the dressing rooms?” she asked, when Luthor turned the opposite way to the one she’d expected.
“No. The sound booth.”
“How come?” Perplexed, she continued to jog along behind, her eye on the way his shorts were clinging to his hips, in danger of sliding down because of the weight of stuff in his pockets.
“Because Ulf said so, and I do as he says. He’s the guy who hired me. Best damn sound and light engineer in the business.”
She’d never heard of him.
“He also just happens to be my uncle.” Luthor held open a door for her to pass through, and they began to climb, up towards the top of the building. “My guess is that he wants you out of the way until the soundcheck is done, so that Xane isn’t distracted.”
“I wouldn’t distract him.”
“Course not.” Luthor made an appraising sweep of her body. “I bet Xane maintains complete focus when you’re present, just not on the music.” His gaze lingered on her cleavage.
Dani covered her mouth and coughed, astonished by how blatantly he’d assessed her. Guys didn’t normally hit on her. This was a new thing that had only started happening since Xane took an interest. She guessed they all thought she must have something special hiding beneath her ordinary appearance to have ensnared a man with such a huge sexual appetite, or maybe they thought stealing her away would prove they were shit-hot too.
No man had a chance against Xane.
In retaliation, she shot a glance at Luthor. He had gloriously good arms, and legs that were tanned by the sun and covered with fine golden hairs. Crazy good looks too, if you liked guys who were all light and golden. She guessed she preferred them dark and brooding.
Luthor was fit, but he wasn’t a patch on her man.
“Where’ve you been?” grumbled an older man, his long hair and beard threaded with silver, as they entered a glass-fronted room overlooking the stage. They were perched high up in the auditorium, almost on a level with the lighting rig. “You walked off with my duct tape. Gimme.” He snatched the roll of tape that Luthor mined from his pocket and began tearing off strips and fixing assorted cables to the floor. After a moment or two, he turned his webbed face upon her. “So you’re the one he ran off with, are you?”
“Be nice,” Luthor counselled. “She is.”
“Really? Didn’t think Xane did nice. He normally lands the absolute bitches.” He thoughtfully rubbed one nicotine-stained finger across his lips before stepping closer, which meant he had to bend his head to look at her, for he was tall, even taller than Luthor, and stocky too, with tattoos that covered his bare arms like sleeves. “Are you sure this is the right girl?”
“I am, yes.” Dani politely stuck out a hand for him to shake.
Ulf clapped his hand against hers but didn’t shake it. “Take a seat. I’ll let you at him once I’m done with him.”
A swivel chair materialised behind her, courtesy of Luthor. Dani gingerly lowered herself into it. She’d got it into her head that the only people she’d have to face in order to join the tour were the members of Black Halo. Somehow she’d overlooked the fact that there was a team of people involved in managing them and delivering their sound to the masses. “What are you doing to him?” Nothing too terrible, she hoped. He’d sounded pretty low when they’d spoken last night. Leastways, he had at the start of their conversation. Not so much by the end, after he’d made her burn with excitement.
“Hopefully dragging his sorry arse through this set.” Ulf put on a pair of headphones and turned a nearby microphone towards him. “Are you fuckers ready yet?”
She couldn’t hear the response, but Ulf scowled. “Nope, we’re apparently having a pissing contest.” He settled back in his chair with his arms and ankles crossed. “This could take a while.” He checked his watch. “You might have to call your lot,” he said to Luthor after a minute or so of waiting.
His understudy, who had been securing leads to the floor so no one would trip over them, looked up eagerly.
“You’re shite, but at least you might manage a song or two for the punters. I’m not sure Black Halo are going to have their act together in time.” Ulf said the last part into the mic.
“Are they arguing?” Dani leaned forward in her seat, concerned. If she rose and pressed her face to the glass at the front of the booth, would she be able to see down into the auditorium?
“Not as such. Mr Geist hasn’t joined us yet. They’ve sent Rock Giant to coax him out from whatever hole he’s wedged himself into.”
“Ulf!” Luthor shook his head and nodded towards Dani. “Girlfriend, remember.”
“I didn’t mean that sort of hole. I’m not the one with a filthy mind.” Clearly bored, Ulf flicked a few switches and checked a few things before settling back into his original pose.
“So, you’re in a band?” Dani asked Luthor, disliking the silence that’d crept over them. She felt out of place already, which made her jittery enough, without the added insinuation that Xane was late for the soundcheck because he was making some groupie happy. “Is it one of the support acts?”
“That’s a good un.” Ulf belched a peal of laughter. He slapped the sound deck, unintentionally knocking several of the sliders, which he then had to reset. “What I said earlier was a joke. Perish the thought of his lot walking on stage. It’d be like Eurovision, only a zillion times more excruciating and minus any of the charm.”
Luthor put his head down and kept on at his task, but she could see from the tension in his back that he was hurt by the remark.
“What are you called?” she asked, hoping her interest would restore his easy smile.
“It doesn’t matter. You won’t have heard of us. We’re pretty unknown outside Sweden.”
“They’re unknown inside Sweden,” Ulf added, shaking his head. “This is why he’s better off here earning some cash and seeing how the pros do it, instead of wasting his time touring a load of fleapits.”
“It was a good set of venues we had booked.”
“Dives. You’re too good for them, son. Your lyricist writes dire teenaged drivel. He has no concept of what real agony feels like.”
“Actually, Lykke’s started writing most of the lyrics now.”
“Aren’t you being a little harsh?” Dani remarked, annoyed to see Luthor gritting his teeth. He hung his head forward, so that his long hair masked his expression.
“Sometimes the truth is harsh,” Ulf insisted. “It hurts to hear it, but we all need someone to be brave enough to tell us when we sound shit. You’ve talent enough to make it big, but not with that outfit. This Fear or whatever it is you’re called.”
“Denna Rädsla,” Luthor corrected him.
“That’s what I said.”
They stared grimly at one another. “So, when are you going to tell your precious darlings that they sound shit?” Luthor asked. “Or aren’t you man enough for that?” He rose to his feet.
“When it’s the right moment. Which it isn’t yet.”
“What?” Dani jumped out of her chair. Her gaze danced expectantly between the two men, seeking clarification. “Do you mean Black Halo? They’re not awful.” A horrid thought struck her. “Is something wrong with Xane’s voice? He’s not ill, is he?” Maybe that’s why they were keeping her away from him.
Ulf sucked his front teeth. “He’s fine, or as fine as you’d expect given that the man he was screwing has just died.”
“I know that, but something prompted that remark.” She looked to Luthor for an answer, since it had been his comment. She was terrified by the thought that Black Halo might be about to split again.
Luthor flicked a glance at Ulf, who showed no sign of explaining further. “They need a live drummer. Using old recordings of Steve Matlock playing doesn’t work. It sounds shit.”
“But Steve … this is about honouring and remembering him. How can they replace him?” Not taking on a new drummer was the one thing Xane had said they’d all agreed on.
“They might not want to, but they need to. Otherwise, they’re going to get the worst slating of their careers from the fans and music press.”
Ulf shook his head. “It won’t come to that. Xane will realise it himself as soon as the soundcheck starts. They all will.”
“But doesn’t the actual gig start in just over two hours?” Dani shot them both a look of disbelief. Even if, as Ulf claimed, the band realised their mistake, where were they supposed to produce a drummer from at such short notice? Then she looked at Luthor again and everything dropped into place. Ulf hadn’t employed him to crew for the band, he meant him to drum for them. “Wow!” She sank back into her seat. She ought to have twigged that sooner. He had drummer’s arms, after all, though his haircut was more emo than most of the lead guitarists out there. “So you’re going to step in and save the day?”
“Not exactly. I’ll offer my services, yes.”
“You know that Xane and Steve were really close?” Far closer than she liked to admit. She’d watched Xane during one outpouring of grief cover the walls of a hotel room in lyrics about the guy. She knew they’d been lovers – a fact that inspired nightmarish fears. Xane was completely at ease with his sexuality, but she was only gradually coming to terms with it. There was a lot of baggage in her past she needed to work through. “Actually, I don’t know that Xane’s ready to take on someone new.” She could only guess about the rest of the band, but presumably Elspeth would throw up objections too.
“And that is exactly why I haven’t said anything yet.” Ulf raised his bushy brows and gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Give it half an hour. I guarantee, they’ll be begging me to find them a drummer, and, because I’m prepared, I have one all lined up.”
The sound of Spook’s rhythm parts being played repetitiously greeted Xane as he and Rock Giant entered the auditorium. It served to drag his attention away from the band’s relationship politics and back to where he needed it to be, on the music. They could deal with the travel arrangements later. First they had a soundcheck and the gig to get through, and even though he’d done it a thousand times before, there was still a flutter of self-doubt in his stomach when he first walked onto the stage.
The rest of the band were already positioned on their X-marked spots. Ash joined the sound of his lead guitar to Spook’s as Xane headed to his mic. They were running through the lead and rhythm parts of their newest addition to the set, “Taken”, one of the songs Xane had written about Steve. Tonight would be their first live performance of the track, and the plan was to record it, so they needed to nail it or risk delaying the release until they could arrange another live recording or book some studio time.
Having exchanged nods with both guitarists and already bashed heads with bassist Rock Giant, Xane turned his attention to Elspeth. Their relationship remained particularly fraught. Throughout the tour planning, they’d exchanged only basic civilities. However, mindful of Rock Giant’s warning shots in the corridor, Xane battened down his feelings and offered her something like a friendly smile. If this was the price of buying Dani’s place on the tour bus, without a load of aggro, then he guessed he’d do it. “How are you doing?”
Seriously not well, if her appearance was anything to go on. Elspeth had always cultivated a wan, faded beauty, but she looked like a glass about to shatter. The change to her hair, while dramatic, certainly hadn’t helped, for it drained her of what little colour she did possess. Once blonde, after the funeral she’d dyed her hair black, complete with a Lily Munster white streak.
Instead of responding to Xane’s gesture, her gaze remained fixed upon the empty space where Steve ought to have been. His drum kit was all set up, but they’d be relying on old recordings rather than a live drummer to make up for his absence. At least, that was supposed to be the plan.
“What the fuck?” he growled, noticing the guy behind the drum kit looking perky and ready for action. The nearby microphone unfortunately picked up his voice and amplified it to an ear-splitting level. It got everyone’s attention.
Ash’s footsteps sounded like a stampede as he moved to intercept Xane before he dragged the guy out from behind the drums.
“Xane. Can we talk?” Ash wrapped himself like a straitjacket around Xane’s torso.
“In a minute, when he’s got the fuck away from Steve’s drums.”
“Now,” Ash insisted, manhandling him sideways into the wings, away from the microphones. “There’s no point in getting all Robocop on his arse, when I’m the one responsible. Yell at me about it.”
“Get the fuck off me.” Xane shook off Ash’s hold. “What the hell are you playing at? Who is he? Why is he here?”
“I’m making sure we don’t sound like shit. It’s a lovely idea, Xane, us all pretending Steve’s still here, but you know what? He isn’t, and the backing track seriously doesn’t cut it. We’ll be laughed off if we use it.”
“If that were the case, Ulf would have said so.” Their chief sound technician was a straight-talking, gruff old bastard who’d worked with them on their last four tours, and was responsible for such gems of wisdom as “You’ll be cutting off your collective bollocks if you sing that soppy crap.” He never minced words.
“The crew haven’t said anything because they’re all scared they’re going to end up out of work. When you broke us up a few weeks back, they’re the ones it hit hardest. We all might have money enough to pay the bills, but most of the crew are living from paycheck to paycheck.”
“That still doesn’t give you the right to employ a drummer. We’re a band. It should have gone to a vote.”
“True,” Ash admitted. He released his hold on Xane and pushed his hands into his pockets. “But everyone’s so stressed out, I thought I’d cut the preamble. It’s not as if there’s an actual discussion to have. Give it one song and you’ll be agreeing with me. The balance is wrong without live drums, and no, the sound guys can’t fix it, because if they amplify it, the track just ends up drowning out everything else. Xane, those recordings were never intended for this sort of thing. Please. I know why we said we didn’t want to employ anyone, but we have to.”
Xane willed his fists to unclench. He wasn’t so big a dick that he couldn’t comprehend what Ash was saying, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Even contemplating slotting someone into Steve’s place felt sacrilegious. The truth was, he wanted to see this new drummer off with a sledgehammer, but he also knew he’d ultimately go with what was right for the band.
He folded his arms across his stomach, suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. Steve’s loss remained an open wound. They might have buried him, but he didn’t know if he’d ever truly manage to lay him to rest.
Where in the hell was Dani? He needed her here.
“This is for the best, Xane.” Ash spoke slowly, with as much calm as he could muster. Mediation wasn’t his usual role. Normally it was Spook trying to smooth things out.
“Who is he?” Xane asked distrustfully, suspicious of where Ash had magicked someone from, given that decent rock drummers were few and far between. The last thing they needed was a feud developing because they’d poached some other group’s drum fiend. They had enough axes hanging over them as it was.
“It’s Iain,” Ash replied, as if that were supposed to mean something.
“Who?” He’d met numerous Iains, but none who was particularly known for playing drums.
“Iain Willows.”
It took a moment for the name to click. “Ash, you have to be effing kidding me. Is this a joke?” It had to be. “The guy hates my guts. He’s done nothing but badmouth me for years.”
“Bit of friendly rivalry, that’s all,” Ash reassured him. He flicked his swathe of black hair from his eyes. “You know how it is. The punters love a good feud. Come on, Xane. We’ve all thrown a few crass remarks about at some point. Besides, he’s a decent drummer, he’s knows our stuff and he’s available for the whole tour. We’re not going to find anyone else of similar calibre that just happens to have a six-month opening on their calendar, starting today.”
Yeah, so how come Mr Willows did?
Xane shook his head. “You should have discussed this. Springing him on us like this is wrong.”
“It’s only what you’re planning to do with Dani. Besides, if I’d brought it up sooner, you’d simply have vetoed the idea, and then where would we be?”
“What do you mean, this is what I’m doing with Dani? She’s not joining the band.”
“She’s as good as. However, in the interests of democracy, why don’t we vote on it? Iain, I mean. Not Dani. I’m happy for her to be around if it keeps you sweet. Guys! Over here a minute.”
The rest of the band slowly sloped over, Elspeth and Rock Giant first, then Spook, with his purple Washburn guitar suspended from its strap and his fingers still dancing over the strings in a repetitive cycle.
“What’s the verdict, then?” Rock Giant asked. Rather than flick his gaze over to their prospective drummer, he looked up towards the sound booth in the rafters. “Are we set for this soundcheck or what? If we don’t get our butts in gear soon, Ulf’s going to go all Captain Caveman on us.”
“We’re having a vote,” Ash explained.
Xane rubbed his brow in despair. “Ash wants us to take on a new drummer.”
“Figured. Didn’t think he was sitting there just for show. Does he come with an explanation?”
“The backing track sucks,” Ash responded. “And even if it didn’t, personally, I don’t want to play exactly the same set every gig for thirty-odd stops. We’ve always swapped things about, it helps keep it fresh.”
“What’s your opinion, Spook?” Xane crossed his fingers that Mr Mortensen had more sense than to blindly agree to this.
Spook stopped playing to take a look at the guy behind the drums. “I say give him a trial. See how he handles those sticks. If he works out, then sure, fine. If we need somebody, we need somebody.”
“Elspeth?” As if he needed to ask to know her opinion. She looked right through him, focusing instead on something in the middle distance, making him wonder how many times she’d wished he’d been the one whose nose had been broken instead of Steve. Still, he’d take that over the withering glare she cast their wannabe drummer.
“Why are you even asking me? Of course I don’t want him here. We’re doing this tour for Steve. What does it say about his memory if we’ve already replaced him?”
“That’s not what we’re doing.” Ash reached out to her, but she backed away like a startled cat. “Elspeth, please. I know this is hard. Steve meant a lot to all of us, but we need a new drummer now. We don’t have the luxury to wait. The tour kicks off tonight.”
“Well, I don’t see what was wrong with what we had planned.”
Ash shoved his hands into his hair despairingly. “Open your ears and listen, woman.”
“Hey, go easy on her,” Rock Giant warned.
Ash sighed. “Elspeth, we’re not replacing Steve. This isn’t about taking on a new permanent member. It’s about getting through the tour.”
“For God’s sake, just have your vote, Ash,” Xane said. The sooner this was over with the better.
“Ayes?”
Ash raised his hand, so too did Rock Giant. Elspeth shook her head violently even before Ash asked for the nays. Making it two for and two against with Xane’s vote. He wasn’t taking on anyone without hearing them play first. That left Spook with the decider.
Spook stood quietly for a moment, with his fingers flat against the strings of his guitar. “I don’t want to replace Steve, but there’s no denying that we need a drummer. The mix isn’t right at the moment, which you’re going to realise the minute you start singing,” he said looking at Xane. “Sorry but –” he hunched his shoulders apologetically “– I guess that makes me a yes. Let’s see what he can do, eh?”
“Two to three carries it,” Ash called the vote. “He’s in for tonight at least. OK, people, let’s get on with this soundcheck.”
“‘Ripped’,” Xane announced, making an impromptu change to the set. He needed the release he got from belting out the chorus of this song. “He’d better be good,” he mouthed to Ash, who started strumming the intro. “And you better not have stolen him from anybody.”
“Actually, you stole me off him.”
Xane rolled his eyes. He didn’t know what the hell that meant, and wasn’t sure he wanted to.
