Destination Weddings For Dummies E-Book

Susan Breslow Sardone

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Bildung
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 468

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Want to have a wonderful wedding away from home? Destination Weddings For Dummies is your all-in-one guide to getting married out of town, giving you savvy tips on everything from making travel arrangements to hiring vendors to dressing the wedding party. Fron Vegas to the Vatican, this hands-on, practical resource helps you arrange a unique, unforgettable wedding anywhere in the world. Focusing on the various ways you can use the Internet in your planning, Destination Weddings For Dummies is filled with Web tips, shortcuts, and URLs, as well as instructions for creating your own digital wedding planner. You'll see how to establish a realistic wedding budget and get your friends and family on board. Then, you'll choose the perfect location; from Europe to the tropics to the open sea, we've done the scouting for you! You'll also discover how to: * Get married legally around the world * Know who, when, and how to invite * Create your own destination wedding Web site and blog * Fit all the basics into your budget-- from flowers and catering to the rings, photography, and music * Hire wedding pros from a distance * Decide on your ceremony's style * Dress the bride, groom, and the wedding party * Communicate your plans to invited guests * Compare wedding packages * Save money on travel arrangements * Test-drive your destination wedding site * Organize fun wedding activities * Handle various wedding emergencies If money is no object, you'll also see how to host a blowout wedding and make a splash when you splurge. Whether it's a small, intimate ceremony in a Hawaiian garden or a large gathering on a yacht in the Mediterranean, Destination Weddings For Dummies is all you need to get married anywhere you choose with ease and in style!

Leseprobe

Destination Weddings For Dummies

Romantic travel expert and creator of New York Magazine’s Weddings sectionDestination Weddings For Dummies®

Destination Weddings For Dummies®

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2007933279

ISBN: 978-0-470-12995-1

Manufactured in the United States of America

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About the Author

Susan Breslow Sardone is the Web’s leading authority on romantic travel. She has been the About.com Guide to Honeymoons and Romantic Getaways for a decade, and Forbes.com calls her site “Best of the Web in Romantic Travel.”

A widely published travel journalist, Susan’s assignments have led her from Alaska to Zimbabwe. Her work has appeared in print in The New Yorker, Condé Nast Traveler,Modern Bride, and other mass-circulation magazines. She has also served as a consultant to Expedia and American Express Travel.

Susan holds a master’s degree in journalism and a bachelor’s of arts degree in English. More recently, she studied Multimedia Technology at New York University, where she also taught writing classes. Susan and her husband, Vincent, live in New York.

Dedication

To Vincent J. Sardone: Marrying you in Las Vegas turned out to be the smartest bet I ever made.

Author’s Acknowledgments

A tip of the hat to Barb Doyen, the agent who recruited me for this project, and the team at Wiley for midwifing this baby. Hugs to Dana and Yuri Daiter for the honor of including me in their ultimate destination wedding. Props to Scott Kurnit for coming up with the brilliant idea for About.com — and a shout-out to the many editors and other staff members I’ve had the privilege of working with since the beginning. You’ve given me the opportunity to guide a worldwide audience to the most wonderful places for couples to experience.

Mille grazie to Mara Urshel of Kleinfeld Bridal and Steve Davis of Jim’s Formal Wear, who informed me what the well-dressed destination bride and groom are wearing. Merci to Stephannie Barba for her charming map. Appreciation also goes to cruise-wedding guru Valerie Brizuela at The Wedding Experience and master bridal consultant Sue Winner. Representatives of the many land-based destinations and properties mentioned herein also have my gratitude.

But most of all, I would like to thank my husband, Vincent J. Sardone for the loving kindness, the laughter, and carrying the luggage. Without you, I might be a spinster with an unstamped passport. With you, I soar.

Publisher’s Acknowledgments

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Contents

Title

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organized

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I : Marrying Your Way: Away You Go

Chapter 1: Destination Weddings 101

Defining Destination Weddings and Why They’re So Popular

The Differences between Getting Married Away and at Home

Making Your Wedding Legal: What You Need to Know

Looking at the Most Popular Locations

Answering Some Questions You May Have

Getting Going: 20 Steps to a Destination Wedding

Chapter 2: Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?

Why a Wedding Away May Work Best for You: The 3F’s

Pinpointing Destination Wedding Delights

What a Destination Wedding Isn’t: The Downsides

Are You a Destination Wedding Kind of Couple? A Checklist

Dealing with Doubts and Doubters

Chapter 3: Organizing Your Wedding Away: With and Without a Computer

The Importance of Being Organized and Where to Start

Love in the Computer Age: Digitally Organizing

Using the Web When You Don’t Have a Computer

Organizing Your Wedding with a Paper Trail

Chapter 4: Budgeting for a Destination Wedding

Understanding Budgeting Basics (And Why They’re Vital)

Having a Wedding at Any Cost

Chipping In for a Destination Wedding

Knowing What to Include in Your Budget

Bidding and Buying

Chapter 5: Gathering Your Destination Wedding Team

Identifying the Wedding Services You May Need

Exploring Your Dream Team Options

Destination Wedding Pros: Who Are Your Choices?

Finding Good Help Far Away

Part II : Picking a Destination for Your Wedding

Chapter 6: Finding the Right Destination: There’s a Place for You

Exploring Where to Go

Looking at Locales

Making Your Destination Choice: The Actual How-To

Test-Driving Your Destination Wedding Site

Selecting a Destination Where You Can Legally Marry

Chapter 7: Staying Close to Home: The United States and Canada

Considering the Hot Picks in the United States

Coupling in Canada

Chapter 8: Heading to the Tropics and Islands

The Truth about Tropical Destination Weddings

Contemplating Your Choices for a Caribbean Wedding

Going to the Caribbean without a Passport

Marrying in Mexico

Hitting the Rain Forest

Opting for an Oceania Paradise

Chapter 9: Wowing and Vowing in Europe

Considering a European Wedding: The Pros and Cons

Jumping the Pond to the U.K.

Affirming L’amour in France

Saying “I Do” in Spain

Becoming a Couple in Greece

Singing “That’s Amore” in Italy

Eyeing the Eastern Options

Chapter 10: Cruising on a Love Boat

Sailing into Matrimony: The Benefits of a Cruise Wedding

Booking and Coordinating a Cruise Wedding

Finding Locations on Land and Sea

Vowing to Be Legal Onboard

Overcoming Your Fears

After the Wedding: Creating a Honeymoon Haven at Sea

Part III : Getting the Destination Wedding You Want

Chapter 11: Making Travel Arrangements

What You Need to Know Before Making Travel Plans

Choose Wisely: How a Date Can Influence How Much You Pay

Planning the Trip Yourselves

Using an Online or Offline Agent

Sending Guests in the Right Direction

Planning the Ground Transportation

Lugging Around Luggage

Chapter 12: Before You Go: Putting Your Wedding Plans in Place

First Things First: Choosing Colors for Your Wedding

Deciding How Many Days to Schedule for Your Event

Sending Invitations

Assembling the Rehearsal

Settling on the Food

Picking Flowers and Decor

Working with a Photographer

Facing the Music

Filling Wedding Welcome Bags

Chapter 13: Setting the Stage: Your Ceremony and Reception

Stepping into an Altared State

Styling Your Ceremony

Putting Guests at Ease

Considering Mother Nature

Moving to the Reception

Chapter 14: Dressing and Grooming for a Destination Wedding

Setting Your Dress Code

Dressing the Bride

Outfitting the Attendants

Garbing the Groom and His Men

Looking Great on the Big Day

Part IV : Sharing the Joy at Your Wedding, Now and Later

Chapter 15: After You Arrive: Leading Up to the Big Day

Finalizing All the Details On-Site

Scheduling Time for Yourselves

Welcoming Guests (And Keeping Them Out of Your Hair)

Promoting Activities to Keep Everyone Busy

Chapter 16: Minding Your Manners: Destination Wedding Etiquette

Inviting Guests but Not Disaster

Holding Showers and Other Pre-Wedding Celebrations

Playing the Host

Tipping Points

Gifts You Give and Gifts You Get

Dealing with Bad Behavior

Chapter 17: Making Friends and Family Feel As If They Were There

Staying in Touch in Real Time

Collecting Memories Before You Depart

Spreading Cheer After You Return Home

Chapter 18: Beginning the Honeymoon

The Best Is Yet to Come

Having the Honeymoon You Want

Packing for Your Honeymoon

Bidding Guests Good-Bye

Part V : The Part of Tens

Chapter 19: Ten Emergencies You May Face and How to Handle ’Em

Someone Gets Sick

Mother Nature Doesn’t Cooperate

Luggage Is Lost

A Fashion Disaster Occurs

Vendors Are No-Shows

Uninvited Guests Arrive

A Fight Breaks Out

The Ceremony Is Interrupted

The Wedding Ring Is Missing

The Cake Collapses

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Save Money on Your Destination Wedding

Book a Location Off-Season

Invite Fewer Guests

Skip the Paid Wedding Planner

Save on Airfare

Get Dressed for Less

Employ the Talents of Friends and Family

Buy Locally Rather than Bring It with You

Celebrate in a Restaurant

Forgo the Program and Favors

Sacrifice Extra Desserts

Introduction

A ah . . . an old-fashioned wedding — the bride in a stiff white gown, the groom in an equally rigid tuxedo, the attendants decked out in identical outfits like Motown backup singers, the strict rules about how invitations must read and who sits where, the seriousness of it all! Plus don’t forget about the huge price tag for an event that only lasts four hours. Does it make you wonder whether a better way to get married is out there? One that’s more fun, more exciting, and less expensive?

The answer is yes: It’s called a destination wedding. This enlightened style of wedding has convinced millions of smart couples to run away from home with their nearest and dearest to marry in a place where they can celebrate for days.

Having planned my own destination wedding without professional help, been to both plain and fancy weddings away, and traveled around the world, I saw a need for a book that could take a couple through the process without making it any more complicated or costly than it has to be. So if you’re ready for the ultimate wedding experience, you’ve come to the right place.

About This Book

Unlike other wedding guides that may stress you out with all the details you’re “supposed” to concern yourself with, this book shows you how really easy — and how much more affordable — a destination wedding can be. You can’t find a timeline anywhere in this book because destination weddings aren’t cookie-cutter affairs.

Instead, I created this book to be a tool — full of Web sites to check out, destinations to consider, and fun activities to try — to use at your leisure and on your timetable. You may choose to dip into only the chapters you need, but if you want to read the book from cover to cover, go for it. You can come back to any part when you need it.

When I started researching this book and read critiques of competing ones that complained, “I could find most of this information online,” I knew that this book had to be different. I acknowledge you’re more than likely to use the Web, and I encourage you to do so. Figures say that 77 percent of couples turn to the Net to plan their wedding; I think that number is even higher.

Conventions Used in This Book

When writing this book, I included some general conventions that all For Dummies books use. I use the following:

I italicize any words you may not be familiar with and provide a definition.

I bold all keywords in bulleted lists and the actual steps in numbered lists.

All Web sites and e-mail addresses appear in monofont.

Foolish Assumptions

Destination Weddings For Dummies is for brides- and grooms-to-be, moms and dads, wedding planners interested in extending their range, and people who want to know more about this trend. In fact, I carried a picture of you in my head. Here’s what I imagined:

The two of you have recently decided you want to get married (congratulations, by the way).

You’re looking for a way to put your unique stamp on your wedding or a wedding you’re helping to plan.

You’re wondering how you can have a great event without spending a fortune.

You’re the parents of an engaged couple — and you want to suggest a way for them to marry that won’t crack your nest egg.

You’re not too experienced about this destination-wedding business, but you’re smart.

You’re not quite engaged yet, but you like to be prepared for the future.

You want a book that can explain the basics, and you can take it from there, using a computer and Internet access.

I can’t tell you whether a destination wedding can meet your requirements and prevent an insurrection at home. But I can tell you how to make one as good as it can be — an event that you and your guests will remember with fondness for years to come.

How This Book Is Organized

This book is divided into five sections, each with several chapters that illuminate the main topic and assist you in making decisions and planning your destination wedding.

Part I: Marrying Your Way: Away You Go

In this part, you discover why destination weddings appeal to so many couples. Chapter 1 gives you the facts. Chapter 2 helps you decide whether to go through with one yourselves. Chapter 3 helps tech-savvy and paper-loyal couples get organized. And if you want to figure out how to optimize your budget and deal with vendors, Chapter 4 has answers. And in Chapter 5, I show you how to productively involve friends, family, and wedding professionals.

Part II: Picking a Destination for Your Wedding

Don’t have a clue where to get married? Think of me as your detective. Chapter 6 starts you on the journey. The rest of this part highlights specific locations: Chapter 7 focuses on the United States and Canada; Chapter 8 features warm-weather spots and tropical islands; Chapter 9 is your guide to Europe, from cities to castles; and Chapter 10 looks at cruise-ship weddings.

Part III: Getting the Destination Wedding You Want

Whether you work with a pro or do it on your own, this section gives you the 4-1-1 on how to pull together all the details. Chapter 11 proves you don’t need to be a travel agent to get good deals for yourselves and your guests, and Chapter 12 is party-planning central. You can discover how to set up an altar in Chapter 13 and get tips on the range of acceptable outfits in Chapter 14.

Part IV: Sharing the Joy at Your Wedding, Now and Later

You can hit the ground running when you arrive at your destination. Chapter 15 helps you stay on top of things after you settle in. Chapter 16 offers etiquette advice specific to destination weddings. And if you’re disappointed that not everyone can attend your wedding away, Chapter 17 helps you find ways to include people at home. And, Chapter 18 helps you plan your honeymoon.

Part V: The Part of Tens

A catchall of useful information, this part deals with destination wedding emergencies in Chapter 19 (what event would be complete without at least one?) and how to save money in Chapter 20.

Icons Used in This Book

Small illustrations in the margin, icons clue you into extra info that can save you time, money, or aggravation. Here are the icons I use:

Find insider tips or tricks of the trade wherever you see this icon.

The equivalent of a piece of string on your finger, this icon calls out an essential piece of info or step you need to take to accomplish the task at hand.

This icon highlights my recommendations of the best places and services for your destination wedding.

When I want you to avoid pitfalls or potential troubles, I use this icon to identify them so you can steer clear.

Where to Go from Here

If you’re at the very beginning of planning a wedding away, or aren’t sure yet whether one is right for the two of you, I suggest you start at the front. Otherwise, dive in wherever you find chapters that apply to the stage you’re in. If you’re not quite sure where to start, check out the table of contents or index and find a subject that piques your interest, and then start reading on any page. If you want to take a mental vacation, go straight to Chapter 6. I also recommend that you read Part IV early on, so you can begin to picture yourselves arriving at the destination before your guests do.

The last thing I want to tell you before you start the book is this: I’ve been there, and you have my word of honor that nothing is better than a destination wedding for an out-of-this-world experience. So hang in there, enjoy the journey, and let this book be your guide.

Part I

Marrying Your Way: Away You Go

In this part . . .

Welcome to the world of destination weddings, which truly span the globe. This part shows you how a destination wedding differs from an at-home one, whether a wedding away is right for you, how to organize a destination wedding, what you can expect to spend, and who to turn to for help.

Chapter 1 explains why destination weddings have become so popular. In Chapter 2, I help you weigh the pros and cons of choosing this type of wedding and prepare you to deal with possible obstacles if you proceed. Chapter 3, unique among wedding-planning books, provides specific advice on how to organize a destination wedding by using your computer and the Internet (you can also find tips to keep a paper trail). Chapter 4 delves into budgeting and negotiating to fund the wedding you want. And Chapter 5 discusses where to turn for help and how friends, family, wedding professionals, and specialized vendors can contribute to your day.

Chapter 1

Destination Weddings 101

In This Chapter

Understanding what a destination wedding is (and what it isn’t)

Making sure your marriage is legal — wherever you wed

Discovering the most popular places for destination weddings

Finding answers to your destination wedding FAQs

Taking your destination wedding one step at a time

E very marriage begins with a unique love story. If yours also includes a taste for travel, a passion for adventure, and the commitment to celebrate in your own way, yours can lead to extraordinary places in your journey to marry at a destination wedding.

Today, as many as one in four engaged couples has a destination wedding. Do you and your fiancé envision yourselves as one of those couples? If so, this chapter can help you begin, serving as your jumping-off point into the world of destination weddings — what they mean, whether a wedding away is right for you, and how to plan one as the next chapter in your love story.

Defining Destination Weddings and Why They’re So Popular

A destination wedding is a wedding ceremony and celebration held in a location away from where the bride or groom live. Basically it’s your wedding, your way . . . just away. Because a destination wedding always involves travel, more time is allotted for the occasion, and the wedding becomes a multiday event.

Laid-back beach hotels, mountaintop ski resorts, lush vineyards, glitzy casino hotels, full-service cruise ships, exotic islands, and European castles and villas are among the top venues couples choose because the “destination” part of the equation is as important as the “wedding” one.

You may hear a destination wedding referred to as a wedding away or a weddingmoon. Although most couples do segue from their destination wedding right into the honeymoon, it’s not necessarily part of the overall plan. Whether you take your honeymoon before, immediately after, or sometime in the future, Chapter 18 discusses the advantage of each choice and having the honeymoon you want.

This section gives you a quick overview of destination weddings, including the main advantages of weddings away and why they’re becoming the fastest-growing segment of the bridal industry. Chapter 2 helps you determine whether one is right for you.

Simplifying your wedding

Destination weddings allow you, the couple, to make your own rules. At hometown weddings, the reception always follows the ceremony. And a young bride and groom who are heavily influenced by their parents’ taste and budget may be pressured into having a more traditional or complex wedding than they really want.

When more-independent couples wed, they’re likely to make choices that are personally important to them, rather than following what others say they “should” have or “should” do at their wedding. Overall, destination weddings tend to be modest and casual. The emphasis is on relaxation and shared experiences. Your ceremony could be followed by guests mounting waiting horses to take off on a trail ride, or boarding a catamaran for an afternoon of snorkeling. And in place of a stuffy, old-fashioned reception, you can have a beach barbecue capped by fireworks.

The fun, ease, convenience, and simplicity of a wedding away are especially appealing to certain types of couples, especially more-mature ones. They may have busy careers but a fondness for travel. Perhaps one or both of them are getting married for the second or third time, and they want to do something in a completely different way from an earlier wedding. Or they may not have the time, taste, or funds for a big, complicated affair.

Paying the price

The expense of a hometown wedding is a strong incentive to make couples scan the horizon for a cheaper place to tie the knot. On average, weddings away cost about 40 percent less than traditional at-home weddings. The price of a nice ceremony in the Caribbean or Mexico rarely exceeds $10,000 — and many come in at half that amount or less.

The average American wedding now runs $27,852, according to a recent Condé Nast Bridal Group study. And with wedding costs rising about 8 percent annually, by 2010 the average wedding tab is likely to approach $35,000. In urban areas that include New York City; Washington, D.C.; and Los Angeles, that’s already the price tag for a modest affair.

How much sense does it make to spend money on a wedding that you could otherwise use to buy a new car, put a down payment on a house, or take the honeymoon trip of a lifetime? That’s something you have to decide for yourselves — although many destination wedding couples already know they would rather put the cash in their pockets than in a conventional wedding’s coffers.

The rationale for my wedding away

When I was planning to get married, I interviewed several people in the wedding industry in New York City. At one hotel, the banquet manager painted this picture:

“Imagine yourself gliding down our 60-foot aisle wearing a long satin gown and train dotted with rhinestones. Everyone you know (we can fit 400 in our space!) is gazing up at you. In one corner of the room, a string quartet serenades you with a work by Beethoven, and the entire space is decorated to resemble a winter palace, complete with faux hanging icicles.”

Knowing I’d feel dressed for Halloween in that fashion, hating the idea that people would be staring at me, loathing classical music, and imagining that the budget for an event decorated that way would approximate the Gross National Product of a small country, I gulped, ran home as fast as I could, and said, “Honey, we’re going to Vegas. . . “

Choosing quality over quantity

Transporting friends and family to a dream destination to see you marry can feel like stepping into a fairytale or an adventure film. Lifting people out of their everyday lives and bringing them to a place that’s beautiful and exciting has a magical quality to it — a definite destination wedding appeal.

Weddings away are also popular because you get to invite only the people you truly want to come. Because not everyone can afford to travel, guest lists are smaller than those of hometown weddings. Fewer guests means a more intimate event in an ideal setting to reunite with those who mean the most to you. (You can find advice on who to invite in Chapter 12.)

The size of a guest list for a destination wedding can range from zero into the hundreds, but most lists usually don’t exceed 100. A typical wedding away involves just 15 to 20 guests, although that number is expanding as more and more couples get wise to the advantages of affordable out-of-town weddings.

Although couples can ease their financial burden by having a destination wedding, guests don’t get off as easily. Their costs of transportation, lodging, and food and activities not covered by the hosts can easily top $1,000 over the course of a long weekend (not to mention a wedding gift). Attendants who are asked to wear special dresses and accessories or rent tuxedoes have to shell out even more. Fortunately, the prospect of combining a vacation with a celebration in a wonderful place helps most guests and wedding-party members justify the expense.

When it comes down to it, though, all it takes is two to marry — plus an officiant and witnesses, as required. So if you don’t care to have guests at all, that’s your prerogative. Plenty of couples who don’t want any fuss build a wedding into a vacation and comfortably marry without fanfare.

The Differences between Getting Married Away and at Home

Being aware of the differences between a destination wedding and an at-home wedding can make it easier to decide which is right for you. Chapter 2 goes into detail, but you need to know the following essential points if you’re considering a destination wedding:

Location, location, location: Destination weddings involve overnight travel to another place, often selected for its scenic appeal. If the setting is particularly beautiful, the wedding couple may be able to save money on certain aspects of the wedding, such as flowers and decorations.

More time to celebrate: A conventional hometown wedding lasts between three and five hours, longer if you have a break between the ceremony and reception. In general, a destination wedding takes place over three days or more.

Lower cost: Despite the longer amount of time involved, destination weddings are usually cheaper than at-home ones.Find out about budgeting in Chapter 4 and see the “Paying the price” section earlier in this chapter for more info.

Casual versustraditional celebration: Hometown weddings are normally traditional affairs, sometimes stodgy and often predictable due to formulaic agendas. At a destination wedding, you can toss out conventions you don’t like and make the event as laid back or as formal as you like. Most couples opt for casual ease.

Making your own rules: Beyond the necessity of obtaining a wedding license and being married by a licensed officiant, destination weddings don’t have any hard-and-fast rules. For example, you know that one about the groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding? At a destination wedding, the couple may have checked into their room a couple of days before the event — and he’s the one to zip up her dress and tell her she looks beautiful before they head off together to say their vows at an oceanside gazebo.

Say good-bye to the home team: Because a destination wedding usually takes place a significant distance from home, anyone you can’t do without — from your pastor to your pedicurist — you have to invite to the wedding and pay for their time, travel, and services. Otherwise, expect to use a local officiant and vendors. (For more on gathering your destination wedding team, see Chapter 5.)

Understanding how eloping differs from a destination wedding

In the past, marrying away from home was synonymous with eloping. That was usually the only option for young couples who needed parental consent for marriage but couldn’t obtain it. They’d quietly leave home — often concealed under the cover of night’s darkness — bound for a place where the legal age for marriage was lower, and no one would appear to challenge their intent to wed. (Read about Gretna Green, Scotland — a refuge for lovers for centuries — in Chapter 9.)

When couples of legal age eloped, they often did so to avoid familial conflict over differences in color or creed. Sometimes, though, couples simply eloped because it was fast, easy, private, and cheap.

Today the definition of eloping refers to any couple who secretly heads off to another place to marry. Sometimes the decision is impromptu, but other times, their intentions are planned far in advance. Either way, guests are rarely involved and vows typically aren’t followed by a reception. The couple either continues on to a honeymoon or returns to their normal lives right away, announcing the marriage at a time when they see fit.

Making Your Wedding Legal: What You Need to Know

In order to become legally married, you need to apply for and obtain a marriage license and have your vows formalized by an authorized officiant within a designated time period. When you’re getting married in a location other than your hometown, you must follow its laws to ensure that your marriage there is legal. This section briefly looks at various locations within the United States and elsewhere to help you be aware of laws in different destinations.

Marrying in the United States

Marriage license laws and requirements differ from state to state and locality to locality in the United States. All have a minimum age requirement, but that varies as well. If you’re getting married in the U.S., prepare ahead of time by finding out what the laws and requirements are where you intend to marry. To do so, contact the town or county clerk in your chosen destination and ask how to apply for a license.

Different U.S. states permit a wide range of officiants to perform civil and religious ceremonies. Find a state-by-state list at marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/a/officiants.htm. To have a religious ceremony in a U.S. church, synagogue, mosque, or other house of worship, contact the local cleric for information.

Getting hitched in another country

A legal overseas marriage license is also legal in the United States, as long as it doesn’t break any state laws. Exceptions include same-sex marriages, which are legal in Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands, South Africa, and Spain, but not in the United States. Only in Massachusetts can same-sex residents legally marry.

For all couples, countries outside the U.S. have strict guidelines before issuing a license. These can include residency requirements and the expense of translating relevant documents into the country’s official language. To find out more about the legality of an overseas wedding, check out Chapter 6. You can also find the official link to marriage license information for all the locales mentioned in this book in Chapters 7, 8, and 9.

To avoid delay and complications when marrying abroad, many couples opt to first have a private civil ceremony where they live. The event that takes place during the destination wedding then becomes a symbolic ceremony. You can read more about these in Chapter 6.

If you want to have a religious ceremony abroad, set the wheels in motion by requesting a meeting with your rabbi, minister, or parish priest. He can put you in touch with regional headquarters, which can help you contact overseas prelates.

Don’t allow yourselves to fall in love with the idea of marrying in a foreign church simply because its stained-glass windows are amazing or the architecture is majestic. Some churches and synagogues don’t accommodate the wishes of couples who aren’t long-standing congregation members.

Looking at the Most Popular Locations

When a particular destination is favored by a large number of couples, you can usually find a good reason for it. (Convenience and ease of travel are major ones; that’s why, according to statistics, two-thirds of couples choose the United States.)

Part II helps you explore all the best places for a destination wedding in depth. However, if you can’t wait to find out what they are, here are the top spots, year after year:

Las Vegas: Vegas weddings are fast, fun, and can be very affordable (as long as you don’t blow your stash at the casinos or opt for an over-the-top affair). And nowhere else does a marriage license bureau stay open until midnight every day. Chapter 7 helps you plan a Vegas ceremony where the odds are in your favor.

Hawaii: Heavenly beaches and resorts dedicated to the pursuit of pleasure make these islands (especially Maui) a popular choice. Explore them in Chapter 7.

Disneyland and Disney World: Having recently introduced opulent couture weddings, Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings keep spreading pixie dust on loving couples. For more, see Chapter 7.

The Caribbean and Mexico: Quintessential beach getaways, the islands of the Caribbean,the coasts of Mexico — and the all-inclusive resorts they harbor — have perfected the art of providing couples with turnkey weddings (where all the elements are bundled together for your convenience). Dig up the details in Chapter 8.

Canada: As charming as France in the east and as scenic as the Alps in the west, Canada speaks your language. With an advantageous exchange rate and legal same-sex marriages, Canada provides ample reasons to head north of the border. Find out more in Chapter 7.

Fiji: This bit of heaven on earth is a long way to go to get married (and paradise doesn’t come cheap), but that doesn’t discourage couples who want an uncommon ceremony in a lush setting. Refer to Chapter 8.

Europe: History, romance, scenic beauty, and sophisticated culture draw couples here. Complex marriage requirements erect obstacles in some countries such as France, although others, like Scotland, are more welcoming. See Chapter 9 for specifics.

Cruise ships: The price is right, and so is the strategy: Marry in port, and then sail off on your honeymoon. You can discover the ceremony, reception, and sail-away options offered by different cruise lines in Chapter 10.

Answering Some Questions You May Have

If you’re seriously considering a destination wedding, you already may have dozens of questions in mind. This book can answer many of them and help make your destination wedding a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The following addresses some of the bigger-picture questions you may be wondering about:

With so many amazing places to choose from, how do we decide where to have the wedding? The short answer is to find a place that’s in some way meaningful to the two of you. Chapter 6 can help you blue-sky the possibilities, and the rest of Part II offers specific recommendations.

How long should we wait to book the wedding? The sooner, the better. If you have your hearts set on Santorini in Greece, you may have to wait two years or longer to nail down a date at a preferred place. Saturday nights everywhere book up fastest. But you can always get married tomorrow in Las Vegas.

Is it wrong to e-mail save-the-dates? If everyone on your guest list has e-mail and checks it regularly, go ahead, but that means forgoing tangible ones that provide a lasting remembrance. See Chapter 12 for more info on save-the-dates.

How do we handle friends and family with kids if we want to keep the wedding adults-only? And what do we tell people who expect to be invited — but aren’t? One of the advantages of destination weddings is that people expect them to be smaller than at-home ones, so they usually understand. Read about who to invite and who to leave at home in Chapter 12 — and how to communicate those decisions gracefully in Chapter 16.

Which last name should be on the bride’s first passport:maiden or married? You can’t legally change your name until after you’re married (unless you go to court to do so beforehand). To avoid confusion, I advise you to keep all ID and travel documents in the same name until you return. Find out how to get a passport in Chapter 11.

Is it tacky to get married in Las Vegas? At the AAA Five-Diamond Award-winning Bellagio hotel, wedding packages range in price from $1,500 to $15,000. They’re definitely not tacky, nor are chapels inside Las Vegas’s other top casino hotels. Discover the real deal on Vegas weddings in Chapter 7.

Do we need a wedding planner? If you’re having a small wedding at a hotel or chapel that provides its own wedding coordinator, absolutely not. However, bigger events and ones in more-remote locations where weddings aren’t an everyday occurrence require local assistance.See Chapter 5 on assembling your wedding team.

How important is visiting the destination before the wedding? Checking out your location prior to the festivities can help set your mind at ease. But as long as you have someone in the location working on the wedding on your behalf, you plan to get there ahead of time, and you’re not a control freak, visiting isn’t essential. Again, the bigger the wedding, the more advance planning is required, which argues in favor of having your feet on the ground well before your event.

How long do we have to entertain wedding guests after the ceremony? Typically, the reception follows the ceremony and then a farewell brunch takes place on the last official day of the wedding. After that, they’re on their own (and so are the two of you!). Chapter 15 offers tips on entertaining guests throughout their stay.

Who pays for what? Couples usually pay for their own destination weddings, sometimes with assistance from family. Guests pick up the tab for their travel and lodging. Chapter 4 is dedicated to budgeting, so you can find more answers to financial questions there.

How can we transport a wedding gown without it getting completely wrinkled? Tissue paper, tissue paper, and more tissue paper. Turn to Chapter 14, devoted to wedding wear, for tips from the pros and selecting a dress that travels well.

Can the groom still wear shorts if the bride wants to wear a long gown? Yes — if he’s man enough to bear the scorn and ridicule of his yet-unborn children when they’re old enough to view mom and dad’s wedding pictures. For specific advice on what guys can wear, head for Chapter 14.

Does the captain marry couples on a cruise ship? Only captains of Princess ships are permitted to do so. On other cruise lines, couples are married by a regular officiant when the ship is in port. Chapter 10 goes into detail on cruise weddings.

Will we feel as if we’ve missed out on something if we don’t get married at home? If you define home as the place where the most important people in the world are, then anywhere you bring them together will feel like home. Lots of couples also plan at-home receptions afterwards. Get ideas for those in Chapter 17, plus ways to include guests who couldn’t attend.

Seeing stars: Celebrity destination weddings

Nearly ten years ago model Cindy Crawford and nightclub impresario Rande Gerber had a barefoot wedding at a beach resort in the Bahamas. She wore a short white gown, and he stood up in a white shirt and Armani pants. Photographs of their happy day attended by a few close friends and family members circulated around the world, inspiring thousands of other couples to choose an easy, breezy destination wedding for themselves.

Crawford and Gerber weren’t the first stars to get married away, and they certainly won’t be the last. But they’re in good company. The following couples also said their vows far from home:

Ashley Judd and Dario Franchetti: Skibo Castle, Scotland

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley: Montecito, California

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner: Parrot Cay Resort, Turks & Caicos

Bill Gates and Melinda French: Four Seasons Lanai, Hawaii

Brett Hull and Darcie Schollmeyer: Esperanza Resort, Los Cabos, Mexico

Christiane Amanpour and Jamie Rubin: Odescalchi Castle, Bracciano,Italy

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman: Staglin Family Vineyards, Napa Valley, California

Duke and Duchess of Windsor: Château de Candé, Loire Valley, France

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker: Paris, France

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: St. Paul’s Church, Covent Garden, England

Heidi Klum and Seal: Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

John Lennon and Yoko Ono: Gibraltar

Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon: private villa, Barbados

Madonna and Guy Ritchie: Skibo Castle, Scotland

Pink and Carey Hart: Costa Rica

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren: Sandy Lane Resort, Barbados

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: Odescalchi Castle, Bracciano, Italy

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott: Wakaya Island Resort, Fiji

Reba McEntire and Narbel Blackstock: Lake Tahoe, Nevada

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.: Jalisco, Mexico

Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin: Oxfordshire, England

Las Vegas chapels attract more celebrities and civilians than anywhere else. Although not all star weddings have stood the test of time, they certainly seemed like a good idea at the moment. Vegas wedding alumni include:

Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton (divorced)

Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (annulled after 55 hours)

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis (divorced)

Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu

Jon Bon Jovi and Dorothea Hurley

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos

Natalie Maines and Adrian Pasdar

Paul Newman and Joann Woodward (50 years and still going strong).

Getting Going: 20 Steps to a Destination Wedding

Even the simplest destination weddings require a degree of planning. If you follow a logical order in doing things, you can feel less stressed, work more efficiently, and accomplish all the necessary tasks on schedule. How much time do you need to set everything up? That depends entirely on you and how complex the wedding you have in mind is.

Breaking down the process to 20 steps, these are the major milestones:

1.Decide that a destination wedding is right for you.

2.Choose possible dates.

3.Consider where to go.

4.Select a destination.

5.Draw up a guest list.

6.Pick a place to wed and a place to stay.

7.Alert friends and family.

8.Make travel arrangements.

9.Decide whether or not you need to hire a planner.

10.Shop for wedding wear.

11.Focus on the type of ceremony you want and the spot.

12.Decide on the type of reception you want.

13.Pick a reception location, caterer, and menu.

14.Select flowers, decorations, and music.

15.Opt for photography, videography, and/or a Web cast.

16.Arrange all group activities for the wedding weekend.

17.Pack all the necessities (from wedding attire to important documents); you can ship remaining items, such as guest welcome bags, to your location.

18.Arrive early to check on the details.

19.Savor every moment of the occasion.

20.Continue onto the honeymoon or head directly home to start the next chapter of your life together.

Fortunately, I’ve detailed every one of these steps in this book, so you needn’t feel overwhelmed. (And if I, a destination bride whose party-organization skills previously were limited to throwing my dirty clothes in the closet and opening up a jumbo bag of M&Ms before guests arrived could pull off an event of this magnitude, so can you.) By referring to this book’s table of contents, you can find what you need to know, when you need to know it, and how to make it all work for you.

Chapter 2

Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?

In This Chapter

Deciding whether a wedding away suits your needs

Weighing the pros and cons of a destination wedding

Building support for your decision

A lthough a destination wedding can be a wonderful occasion, not every couple planning to get married is cut out for one: The bride-to-be who dreamed since she was a little girl of having a wedding in the family church and the groom who figures he only needs to walk around the corner, utter “I do,” and can be back in time to catch the end of the game aren’t prime prospects for this kind of affair. But if the idea of having a destination wedding appeals to you, this chapter explains how an out-of-the-ordinary may suit the two of you.

Why a Wedding Away May Work Best for You: The 3F’s

Reasons to have a destination wedding abound. Perhaps you don’t have the time or inclination to spend the better part of a year planning a wedding. Or although your budget is small, you want a wedding with style. Or you have family issues that can be eased by locating the wedding in a neutral place — that just happens to have a climate you love.

If you’re less concerned with doing what’s conventional and more with doing what feels right to you personally, being a “runaway” bride and groom may be as practical a decision for you as it is a romantic one.

The “3F’s” — freedom, flexibility, and fun — are the greatest incentives to choose a destination wedding. This section takes a closer look at each of them.

Freedom (from convention)

Whether small or large, casual or less so, a destination wedding provides you with the freedom to be yourselves and shape your wedding, your way. How do you know whether a destination wedding is right for you? They’re popular with and ideal for:

Couples who are slightly older: As maturity increases, so does the desire to have an event that is more a reflection of your own taste and lifestyle than your parents’. And that’s a cornerstone of weddings away.

Couples who have been married before and don’t want to replicate the white-dress, dad-walks-the-bride-down-the-aisle, and we-all-eat-rubber-chicken-afterward routine: Anyone who’s been there and done that may be excited by the prospect of going someplace new and marrying in a different way.

Couples with children: Relocating everyone to the neutral territory of a family-friendly, all-inclusive resort or cruise for the wedding is an excellent way to help a blended family bond.

Couples who value privacy and simplicity above all: Many who choose a destination wedding invite no guests at all yet experience a beautiful and meaningful ceremony with simply the officiant and local witnesses present.

Flexibility (to do it your way)

The most beautiful thing about destination weddings (besides the surroundings) is that you don’t have to follow hard-and-fast rules regarding how the wedding looks or feels or how long it lasts.

Simply by inviting guests to a faraway place, they expect something different. That also means elements you’ve witnessed at other weddings and don’t particularly like can be tossed away like the traditional bride’s garter. Instead, you can create your own traditions. And no one will ever be able to say your wedding was a cookie-cutter affair. Thanks to a destination wedding’s flexibility, you aren’t tied down to the old rules. Consider some examples:

The dress code: Find the idea of wearing Vera Wang or wing-tips too constricting? Nowhere does it say you can’t don island gear and flip flops (or go barefoot altogether) to pledge your love. Chapter 14 looks at stylish options.

The convenience of having the ceremony and reception in the same place, if that appeals to you: Destination weddings that take place at beach or mountaintop resorts, for example, usually have an altar or other area dedicated to ceremony space. At adjacent restaurants, terraces, and elsewhere on the premises, the entire group can celebrate afterward.Alternatively, if you want to separate the two events by miles, hours, or even days, all you need to do is plan it that way. (Check out Chapter 12.)

The ease of planning: Many hotels in resort areas are experts in orchestrating the entire event for you — right down to the food, music, flowers, and decorations. Some offer a free weekend stay so couples can come and discuss how to customize the wedding.

Fun (that’s the key)

Although the word wedding may bring a sparkle to your eyes, the word vacation makes everyone perk up. And that’s basically what a destination wedding is: The best vacation you can imagine in a place you’ve hand-picked, in the company of your favorite people, filled with events you select and activities you enjoy, and capped by a party that suits your taste, style, and interests.

Pinpointing Destination Wedding Delights

If the 3F’s in the previous section don’t convince you to apply for a passport (find the lowdown on that in Chapter 11) and start packing, consider the following advantages of having a destination wedding may.

Arousing your adventurous side

Do the two of you like the beach? If you haven’t yet tried surfing, water-skiing, or snorkeling, would you like to? Do you strap on ski boots and head for the hills as soon as the first snowflakes drop? Would you relish the idea of horseback riding across rugged terrain? If so, you may want to combine your destination wedding with a fun-packed weekend of adventure.

Couples who welcome new experiences find destination weddings to their liking. The adventure can extend from the location you choose to the places where you hold your ceremony and reception to the activities you select for yourselves and your guests.

Planning an active wedding includes organizing activities, so be sure to choose a destination that offers a lot to do. (You can find location inspiration in Chapter 6.) If you love the outdoors, lead your family and friends down to the beach, aboard a sailing ship, or aloft in a hot-air balloon. Just imagine how extraordinary the photos will be!

Most beach resorts offer instruction and equipment that enable guests to try water sports such as windsurfing, paragliding, and water-skiing as well as snorkeling, scuba diving, canoeing, and kayaking. Depending on the destination and season, on-land adventurers may want to choose a destination that includes horseback riding, hang gliding, zip lining, mountain hiking, biking, golf, tennis, or skiing. And with today’s emphasis on wellness, locating a place that offers power walks, yoga, Pilates instruction, and spa treatments isn’t difficult.

Combining your wedding and honeymoon

When time and money are important considerations (and when aren’t they?), having a destination wedding as a prelude to a honeymoon is one of the most cost-effective planning choices a couple can make.

Whether you’re so in love with your destination that you intend to remain there after your guests clear out, or it’s the first of one (or multiple) locations you plan to visit on your honeymoon, as Mr. and Mrs. you’re already packed and in travel mode. Chapter 18 has specific honeymoon-planning advice.

Sharing the fun with your friends and family

When was the last time you spent a long weekend — not just a quick cup of coffee or a dinner meal — catching up with the people you love most? If the answer is “too long ago” or “I don’t remember,” a wedding away presents the perfect time to rendezvous.

Combining your wedding with a gathering of family or close college friends in a setting where people are at ease and in a celebratory frame of mind is an event both you and your guests will cherish. And after everyone arrives, group events — picnics, beach parties, hot tubbing, and simply banding together to watch the sunset or the stars come out — make indelible memories.

Earning perks and upgrades because you’re in love

If you’re planning a wedding or honeymoon, announce it to the world — not simply because everyone loves a lover, but because you’re entitled to benefits you may not even know about. These benefits can include VIP treatment at hotels, especially when you can reserve a block of rooms for your guests. In fact, hotels offer perks and upgrades for one smart reason: to build customer loyalty. They want you to come back again for your anniversary, with your kids, and on your next vacation.

Perks start becoming valuable when the length of your stay or the size of your guest list grows. If you can gather ten people or more to take the same flight together, most airlines extend a discounted rate to all. In some cases, they upgrade you from coach to business or first class. Each airline has its own rules. Although you may be able to find the benefits listed on an airline’s Web site, you normally have to phone a representative to activate the offer. Turn to Chapter 11 for more about planning group travel and taking advantage of these perks.

Hotels operate in much the same way as airlines when it comes to discounts. If your guests can occupy a minimum of ten rooms, inform the property. Ask for a volume discount so that guests in each room pay less than if they would have booked individually. This price difference could be the deciding factor between a trip that’s affordable for a guest and one that isn’t.