Finding Jesus E-Book

Christopher Ozbirn

• Herausgeber: Inscript Books
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

You’re addicted.
Face that about yourself. There’s a mathematical certainty that most people reading this are addicted to something. It is just as much a certainty that you enjoy your addiction and/or feel you can quit anytime, even though it may be destroying you and those around you.
Your addiction may be substances, gambling, sex, or work. It may also be the “less talked about” addictions such as TV, video games, and social media. These lesser-talked-about addictions are often just as dangerous as a drug or alcohol problem because they are insidious in nature and often not considered issues.
Author Christopher Ozbirn has a story you need to hear. Not only does he share how he conquered his addiction, which he labels idolatry, but he shows you the way out. Finding Jesus is a 21-day devotional designed to help people recognize an area of addiction in their life and take measured steps to break free from the bonds of idolatry. Focusing on entertainment-related addictions, the devotional is a combination Bible study, prayer guide, and self-reflection tool that you can use, along with a period of fasting, to help you learn to move beyond your addiction through a personal relationship with Jesus.
If you don’t know Jesus, this book will show you how to establish and maintain that relationship. If you know Jesus, this powerful devotional will help you rededicate your life and strengthen your bond with Jesus through daily Bible reading, prayer, and self-reflection.
There is life beyond addictions. Begin your new life here with this book.

Leseprobe

FINDING

JESUS

A 21-day devotional designed to help people overcome addiction by fasting while learning about Jesus.

Christopher Ozbirn

Published by Inscript Books

a division of Dove Christian Publishers

P.O. Box 611

Bladensburg, MD 20710-0611

www.inscriptpublishing.com

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org

Scriptures marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblical, Inc. ® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

HELPS Word-studies taken from The Discovery Bible, available at discoverybible.com, copyright © 2022, HELPS Ministries Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Inscript and the portrayal of a pen with script are trademarks of Dove Christian Publishers.

eBook Edition

Copyright © 2022 by Christopher Ozbirn

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, or any other – except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author.

Published in the United States of America

How to Use this Devotional

This devotional aims to help you identify any possible areas of addiction in your life. If you find yourself struggling with life, then you are not alone. I have been there myself. For 25 years, I was lost in addiction, spending most of my life alone in a virtual world. I created this devotional to help you examine yourself and reveal any addictions that you may have. This way, you can identify the problem, address it, and remove it from your life.

The other purpose of this devotional is to lead you to an encounter with Jesus, the one who can help you overcome any area of addiction you may find, as well as any other struggles. You can use this devotional, even if you don’t believe in Jesus. My goal isn’t to force you to believe anything. Rather, it is to help you learn more about who Jesus really is and why He can help you through your struggles and addictions. Then you can decide whether to change your views about Jesus. This decision is entirely up to you.

The first thing I am asking you to do is pick a substance, activity, or behavior in your life that may be causing problems. I explain how to do this on day one. Fast from that substance, activity, or behavior for 21 days while following this devotional. Fast simply means stop doing it. If you are unsure what to start fasting from, days one, two, and three of this devotional are designed to help you figure this out.

The reading for each day consists of four parts. The first part of each day is a question followed by an answer based on my personal experience or what the Bible says about it. I have asked myself each of these questions during the process of seeking Jesus to overcome my addiction.

In the second part of each day, you should ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:

1. Are you feeling more anxious, angry, or irritable than normal during this time of fasting?

2. Are you having trouble focusing on normal activities during your fast?

3. Are you counting down the days until your fast ends?

4. Are you feeling a strong desire to break your fast?

5. Is taking time away from your substance, behavior, or activity easy or hard?

a. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the difficulty, with 10 being the hardest?

6. Do you feel like you have lost something important to you during this fast?

7. Are you having difficulty wanting to engage in other activities?

8. Is your fast affecting your relationships in a better way or a worse way?

9. Do you feel bored, like you have nothing to do during your fast?

10. Do you have other activities that you enjoy doing?

a. Can you do those with others?

b. How does doing these activities make you feel?

11. When you are reading the Bible and learning about Jesus, how does that make you feel?

a. Do you enjoy it?

b. What are you learning about Jesus or the nature and character of God?

These questions are designed to help you think about how fasting from this substance, activity, or behavior makes you feel. You have to be completely honest with yourself here.

For the best results, I suggest reading these questions at the beginning of each day to give you an idea of what you should be thinking about. At the end of each day, reread them and write down your answers based on how you felt that day. As you go through this fasting period, these answers may change. That’s OK as long as you are being honest with yourself.

The third part of each day will be a personalized prayer for you to pray based on what you learned during the discussion question. You are welcome to make this prayer more personal in any way you feel you need to. As I was developing this program, this is what I felt that I should be praying myself.

When praying, find a quiet place where there are no distractions. Kneel and recite the prayer with all your heart and mean it. Cry out to God and ask Him for help. He wants to hear from you.

The last part of each day will be a reading assignment from The Gospel According to John. Read the chapter for the day in the Bible if you have one. If not, you can go to this website: www.bible.com/bible/100/JHN.1.NASB1995 or download any free Bible app on your app store. I personally like the YouVersion Bible app, but any app will do. You can read any translation of the Bible you feel comfortable with. The three I use most are the New American Standard Bible (NASB), The Amplified Bible (AMP), and the New King James Version (NKJV). Next, answer the questions to help you comprehend what you are reading. If you don’t know how to answer these questions, don’t worry; just keep reading the chapter in John daily and keep going.

I have designed this devotional to be read and studied with someone else. It could be another person struggling with addiction, a friend or family member, a pastor, a therapist, or a faithful believer in Jesus who can help you learn. Share with each other daily about how you feel based on the self-reflection questions. Go over the Bible study questions together to help you both grow to know Jesus more intimately.

The last thing I suggest is to start going to a local church every Sunday if you aren’t already attending a church. Pray to God to help guide you where to go. Then start attending churches in your area until you find the one the Spirit leads you to regularly attend. Being a part of a local church will help you learn more about Jesus from a pastor who is called to preach. Also, having a pastor to answer questions you may have during this process would be very helpful.

Finding Jesus Worship Song Playlist

I have created a playlist of worship songs to listen to each day. I believe each song speaks to something learned during that day’s lesson. Each song is available on YouTube.

Day 1. “Start Right Here” by Casting Crowns

Day 2. “Dead Man Walking” by Jeremy Camp

Day 3. “God turn it around” by Jon Reddick

Day 4. “So Long Self” by Mercy Me

Day 5. “So Will I (100 Billion X)” by Hillsong UNITED and Benjamin Hastings

Day 6. “I’m Sorry” by Toby Mac

Day 7. “Jesus Messiah” by Chris Tomlin

Day 8. “Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave

Day 9. “Let Go, Let God” by Jack Cassidy

Day 10. “More of You” by Colton Dixon

Day 11. “Holy Spirit” by Bryan & Katie Torwalt

Day 12. “What You Want” by Tenth Avenue North

Day 13. “If We’re Honest” by Francesca Battistelli

Day 14. “The Proof of Your Love” by for KING & COUNTRY

Day 15. “Hello, My Name is” by Matthew West

Day 16. “Confidence” by Sanctus Real

Day 17. “We All Need Jesus” by Danny Gokey & Koryn Hawthorne

Day 18. “Gotta Tell Somebody” by Don Francisco

Day 19. “Never Going Back” by Skillet

Day 20. “Chain Breaker” by Zach Williams

Day 21. “God I Look to You” by Bethel Music and Francesca Battistelli

Introduction

Hi, my name is Chris. I am a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. I am a video game addict.

This is the introduction I was taught to do during my first ever experience with a twelve-step recovery program. It was a Christ-centered program that dealt with any difficulties life could throw at you, from drug addiction to divorce, surviving abuse, co-dependency, and anything in-between. But I want to be honest with you; I haven’t always been a faithful follower of Jesus. I wasn’t delivered from my addiction in a twelve-step program. But this program gave me the support I needed to learn how to live after my addiction. So let me start from the beginning.

I was raised in a broken home from the time I was seven years old. Neither of my parents had a close personal relationship with Jesus. They were both looking for love, which they needed from Jesus, in relationships. They never truly found that love in their relationships. When I was 23 or 24, they finally stopped looking. They had been married and divorced a total of eight times between them. This was a pattern of behavior I would repeat myself later in life. I am sure it is no surprise after hearing this that I have had a skewed view of what love is for most of my life.

My dad introduced me to video games shortly after my parent’s divorce. I really enjoyed playing them as a child. But I also enjoyed doing other things like riding my bike outside and playing basketball. At this time of my life, video games were something I enjoyed but not something I was addicted to. Later in life, that would change.

My mom’s third husband, Jimmy, started abusing me sexually around the age of 10 for two years. During this time of abuse, video games went from a form of entertainment to a coping mechanism I used to survive my abuse. After my abuse, I began to rely more and more on video games to escape other problems in my life.

Around 12, I finally found the courage to tell my dad about the abuse. He pressed charges against Jimmy. After a year and a half of therapy, I testified against Jimmy. He was convicted and just finished a sentence of 27 years.

After I reported my abuse, my dad and grandmother started taking me to church. It was there that I first heard about Jesus. I learned that He died on the cross for me, and His death would save me from my sins. I also learned that I shouldn’t keep on sinning.

While I had gained knowledge of Jesus, no one explained how to be a committed, lifelong learner and follower of Jesus or a disciple of Jesus. The process of helping someone learn how to be a disciple of Jesus so that they can go out to help others grow more spiritually mature is called disciple-making. I didn’t have anyone at that time to teach me disciple-making.

In Matthew 13:20-21, Jesus explains the parable of the sower who sowed his seed on rocky ground. Jesus said,“The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away.”

Because I had only heard of Jesus and not truly experienced Him personally, affliction would come later in life, and I would walk away from my faith as the prodigal son did in another of Jesus’ parables.1

By 26, I had already followed my parent’s example. I had already married and divorced twice. During this time, I was introduced to massively multiplayer online role-playing games. My game of choice at the time was World of Warcraft. It was an online fantasy game where you had to work with other players to achieve a common goal. This game temporarily gave me a sense of purpose and met my needs for companionship during my singleness. I would date off and on, and I met my third wife within three years.

We dated for a year, conceived a child, and then got married. Like I said before, I wasn’t living a lifestyle that followed God’s design. Two days after our wedding, I received a call from my second wife. I was informed that she would be moving my youngest daughter into the home of her boyfriend’s brother, a convicted sex offender. Two days later, we were in court filing for temporary emergency custody of my daughter.

This was the beginning of a downhill spiral of difficulties that would last for the first five years of our marriage. Needless to say, I started running away from my problems into this fantasy gaming world every chance I got. I now had a full-blown addiction.

During the eight years of our marriage, my wife would repeatedly tell me that I needed to back off my video games. I was playing way too much, not helping her as much as she felt I should, and neglecting her and my children. Time and time again, I would tell her I would. I would try for a little while and fall back into my addiction. I can’t tell you exactly how many times this happened. It was at least eight, but it could have been many more. As much as I loved my wife and my children, I was trapped in a prison of my mind that I couldn’t escape. No matter how hard I tried, my desire to escape my problems by gaming trumped any rational judgment I attempted to have. I didn’t know the way out.

For at least seven years of our marriage, my wife and I regularly attended church. And while attending church, I wasn’t personally seeking to know Jesus in my daily life. My pastor did a good job explaining what a personal relationship with Jesus should look like. There was no one-on-one discipleship training, nor was there any accountability at all. If discipleship training programs and accountability were available, I wasn’t aware of them nor wanted to seek them.

But I had an interest in learning about Jesus. I would speak with my father-in-law, a pastor, about Jesus and a co-worker who was a strong Christian woman. They were the closest things in my life I had to what a disciple-maker should be.

In 2018, the pastor of my church challenged us to a church-wide fast starting sometime in January. I had not really heard of fasting before. But the pastor explained that a fast isn’t necessarily about food. You can choose anything to fast from that keeps you from seeking Jesus. I immediately knew what I would have to fast from—my video games. I thank Jesus for giving me this insight.

My father-in-law had bought me a book on Revelation that I had asked for Christmas. I started the fast early before the rest of the church did, stopped playing my video games during this time, and started reading this book. While I was reading, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. He said plainly, “Why are you reading about the end of my life when you don’t know me from the beginning?” I have since learned that when Jesus speaks to you in the Spirit, you listen.

What the Spirit said to me made sense. I set my mind to reading the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Then I would start re-reading my book on Revelation. What I didn’t know was that Jesus had other plans for me. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) says, “’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

As I was meeting Jesus for the first time in my life at the age of 38, I felt a fire light inside of me. This person that I had heard about my whole life was actually real. And He loved me! I learned that He loved me so much that He gave His life up for me! 2 It wasn’t just some story I heard in church. Or a fairytale. Jesus was ALIVE! And He wanted to know ME personally.

The fasting period for the church was supposed to last 21 days. I fasted from sometime early January until middle to late March. During this time, I read the whole New Testament, thoroughly read the book I had on Revelation, and dieted, resulting in the loss of 30 pounds. I can’t explain it, but it seemed so easy for me at the time. The only thing I was doing differently was fasting and spending time with Jesus by reading His Word. Doing these things helped me rely on Jesus’ power through the Holy Spirit He placed in me, instead of relying on my own power.

Even though I had this wonderful and miraculous experience with Jesus, I still wasn’t ready to submit it all to Jesus. I was still holding tightly to one thing: my addiction to video games. In March 2018, I stopped fasting and started playing my video games again. It didn’t take long for it to consume me again.

Sometime in early May, my wife again, for the umpteenth time, told me that I was getting too deep into my gaming, and I needed to back off. I told her I would, as usual. I work the night shift at a local hospital, seven days on, seven off. A couple of weeks after I had told my wife I would back off gaming, I had taken four extra days off, giving me eleven days off in a row instead of my typical seven. During the first half of my time off, I did well, staying away from my video games and paying attention to my wife and children. I was attempting to do this by my own power, so I fell right back into my addiction. And this time, I was all-in. I was completely neglecting my wife and kids. I saw a change in my wife’s behavior during this time. But I was so focused on my gaming, I couldn’t even take time to ask her what was wrong. Sound familiar?

When I went back to work that Friday night, the Jesus I had met personally earlier that year had something to say to me about my behavior. The Holy Spirit in me said, “Son, you saw a change in your wife’s behavior, and you were powerless to do anything about it. You have to stop your gaming now!”

Jesus revealed the truth that I wasn’t willing to admit to myself. John 14:6 says, “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through me.’”

After He said this to me, He showed me how much my video game addiction had hurt my wife, children, friends, and family. He also revealed how much time I had lost that I could have been serving Jesus for the Kingdom of God. I felt immediate conviction and cried out to Jesus. I repented when I got home from work that morning. I deleted the app from my phone that I had been playing.

When I woke up that afternoon, I went to my wife, ready to repent and tell her the good news. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Little did I know, the good news for me wasn’t good news for her. You see, I wasn’t trustworthy. I had lied, deceived, and manipulated her for over eight years so that I could spend more time playing video games. When I told her the news, she thought I was lying to her again. She had news for me as well. She was done with the marriage. She wanted a divorce.

My heart was broken. I was devastated. I played Russian roulette with my marriage one too many times. And this time, the gun was loaded, ready to go off. I didn’t understand why she couldn’t give me one more chance to show her I was serious this time. Looking back, now I do. I didn’t deserve her trust.

Why am I giving you this personal testimony about my life? While I may have lost my marriage, I had finally found the courage to fully submit my life to Jesus, this time including my video game addiction. The reason why I was able to get to this point was because I spent almost three months fasting while getting to know Jesus in a personal way through reading the Bible.

Listen to what is said in the book of Isaiah 58:6, “Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke?” Fasting and seeking Jesus led me to the personal encounter with Jesus I needed to help me know the truth about myself.

I truly believe had I not committed that time fasting and reading the Bible, I would still be a lost addict to this day. Jesus wouldn’t save me from the consequences of my choices, but He did save me from eternal separation from Him in hell.

I want to share this same gift with you. A personal experience with Jesus. I want to help you evaluate your life to determine whether or not there is something that you are holding on to keeping you from seeking Jesus. I truly believe that fasting, daily Bible reading, guided self-examination, and someone who cares about you to help you through this process will help you have the same breakthrough in your life that Jesus provided for me.

Day 1: How Does the World Define Addiction?

As I started serving in a local ministry helping the homeless, I met Chris Payne. Chris started a ministry called A WAY OUT. His ministry helps people dealing with addictions or other struggles in life by sharing his testimony that Jesus is our only way out. When I met him and heard his message, I knew that he truly knew Jesus. I knew he had a heart for loving others where they were and leading them to Jesus. And I wanted to help him serve others. His testimony resonated with me.

In his testimony, Chris tells people that nobody ever told him about Jesus when he struggled with his addiction. Nobody shared the gospel with him or told him that Jesus loved him and wanted to help him. I felt the same way.

Nobody told me that playing video games excessively was an addiction. Nobody told me that I needed help and that help was in the person of Jesus. If someone sat me down and explained that I was using my video games as a way of escape and running from my problems into this fantasy world, I may have been willing to listen. I was running away from Jesus, the only one who could help me heal from my past hurt.

This is why I wrote this book for you. To tell you the truth. Jesus said to his disciples in John 8:31-32, “If you abide in My word, you are truly my disciples. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Remember, as I said before, Jesus is the truth. It makes sense to me now why fasting and studying the Bible, which is Jesus’ word, helped set me free from my addiction. I am telling you the truth, that getting to know Jesus will set you free.

In high school, math was my favorite subject. I took every math class that was offered, from geometry to calculus. Math is about problem-solving using numbers. How does that relate to addiction? Before you can find a solution to a problem, you first have to define the problem. We know the problem we are addressing in this book is addiction. Then what is addiction?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary1 defines the word addiction in a couple of ways. First, addiction is defined as “a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior or activity having harmful physical, psychological or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, tremors or nausea upon withdrawal or abstinence.” That’s a lot to take in. Let’s break it down bit by bit.

Let’s take a look at this phrase first, “a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need.” Compulsive means something that you feel drawn to do without giving it much thought. Chronic means it lasts for an extended period or is ongoing. A physiological need is something that meets your body’s physical needs. And finally, a psychological need is something that is meeting a need in your mind. This phrase, put more simply, is this: I am drawn to do something without thinking about it repeatedly over a long period of time that is meeting a need of my body or my mind, maybe even both. Now let’s look at the next part of the definition.

The next part, “need for a habit-forming substance, behavior or activity,” defines the need we are discussing in the first phrase. The word habit-forming is a key word here. In simple terms, it means behavior that we start doing that becomes hard to stop doing. This means we develop a need for a substance, behavior, or activity that is hard to stop doing. The usual thing we would think about here would be smoking, drinking, or using drugs. This is only a small part of the definition.

It also includes behaviors and activities. Take a break and reflect a few minutes on habitual behaviors or activities that you may be doing that may be included in this part of the definition. A few examples that come to mind would be watching TV, spending time on Facebook, watching YouTube, playing a video game, or any other activity you may be doing without giving it much thought. Think of some behaviors or activities that may apply to you and write them down for future reference.

The next part of the definition states: “having harmful physical, psychological or social effects.” This part is pretty straightforward to understand. This substance, behavior, or activity has not only become habitual but is causing us harm in a physical, psychological, or social way.