Heart whispers E-Book

Maij Pedersen

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 39

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

There is no sound. Only the sense of chaos. The unmanageable. My world is falling apart. Everything is disintegrating all around. Right there in the silence, I hear the birds singing and smell the clean air of spring coming in through the window. With the awareness of the world, comes the awareness of a voice whispering. Not a voice I hear with my ears, but a voice I feel in my heart. A voice I've always heard but never knew was there, or let myself be led by. A voice that whispers about all the things I dream of hearing, all the things that make my soul sing and life feel like a joy. All that makes life worth living. There I hear my heart whisper. Heart whispers is a collection of words of wisdom that leads the way home.

Leseprobe

"Only with the heart can one see right. The essentials are invisible to the eye." - from The Little Prince

The first thing I become aware of is my head moving from side to side. Denial. No. No. NO.

The crying burns in my throat, making it close up tightly. Breathing is almost impossible.

The pain in my stomach - I feel like I'm being torn in half as I'm burning. The impotence and frustration rage through my body like wildfire.

My legs give in, lose all the power and willingness to stand. Knees hit the tiles of the kitchen floor. And the rest of the body follows. All power leaves me. I can't help but feel all my emotions and let the crying rage through my body.

There is no sound. Only the sense of chaos. The unmanageable. My world breaks down and the crying really takes hold. Shaking me. Scares me. But I can't control it, just let it rage through me as my nose stops with snot and I can barely catch my breath.

All my senses turn inward. I'm no longer conscious of the kitchen I'm in. The life that is mine. Just all my frustration, fear and pain. Can no longer remember what it was that set me off. The last drop that made the cup overflow. The last pain. I can't do anything but surrender and allow my body to release it. Just let go.

I CAN'T ANYMORE. I can't anymore. I can't anymore. Is the only thought I can think. The only thing that lives in my brain.

I am completely trapped in my feelings of anger, fear and powerlessness. The only thing stopping me is the need to blow my nose so I can breathe again. It's hard to get up off the floor, in fact I feel like I'm just letting it all end right here. I wipe my nose in my sleeve and eyes on the edge of the shirt, but the tears just keep going and I can barely see where I am.

And still the phrase: "I can’t anymore" runs on repeat in my brain.

How long I lie here crying, I don't know.

....

I feel my cheek against the cold floortile. My hands are clenched and hurting – when did I hit the floor with them? My whole body aches both on the outside and inside.

And then silence.

Quiet—completely silent.

No thoughts, No feelings, Nothing.

Just silence.

It's a blessing as much as it feels like running away.

But I’m not running away.

Right there in the silence, I hear the birds singing and smell the clean air of spring coming in through the window.

With the awareness of the world also comes the awareness of a voice whispering. Not a voice I hear with my ears but a voice I feel in my heart. A voice I've always heard but never knew was there or let me be led by. A voice that whispers about all the things I dream of hearing, all the things that make my soul sing and life feel like a joy. All that makes life worth living.

In the midst of silence, a sense of calm and faith slowly builds up.

A tranquility so great that there is no room for anything else. A calmness that makes my body relax in every muscle I had no idea I was tensing in. A calm that creates peace in and with myself.

A faith that strengthens me. That gives me the confidence to be me – without doing anything. It's just there, holding me like a mother holds and loves her child.

With the calm and the faith, I can feel the confidence. The confidence in myself and the divine in me. Trust in myself and my path in life.

This too, I'll get through. This, too, is right in my life. This too is ok. Just letting go and letting my heart guide me.

I've had a lot of those kinds of moments in my life, in a lot of different forms. Both the great experiences, where EVERYTHING collapses around me, and the small everyday moments, where I both consciously and unconsciously go into the silence, to let go of everything that weighs me down.

One of the most important things I've learned from this is:

The greater the darkness and powerlessness we can feel - The greater love, tranquility, freedom and trust we can accommodate

Just letting go of what we think should be and our urge to control everything to show we are in control of it and worth loving.

You're loved no matter what.

Do you want to feel it? Then go into your heart, your body and your brain and find the silence. The love and everything you search for is not outside of you, but is found by being quiet and looking in.