Honoring Our Parents E-Book

Kalimah Tayebah

• Herausgeber: Sila S.A.L.
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Why do I honor my parents and protect my family? This book comprises heartwarming stories that inspire readers to guide their children in honoring their parents and fostering strong family bonds.The book also includes an explanation of the importance of these morals, providing practical guidance on how to apply them. It also offers a number of supplications tailored for both parents and children.

Leseprobe

THE ETHIC OF DEVOTION TO PARENTS IN ISLAM

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KalimahTayebah

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful,

Peace and Blessings be upon our prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions, Religious scholars unanimously agree that devotion and righteousness towards one’s parents will lead to a good ending of one’s existence regardless of how defiant one is, even if one is a disbeliever.

For God The Almighty will reward such a devoted individual with repentance before death; the following hadith of the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) attests to that: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger.” (related by at-Tirmidhi 1899, Chapters on Righteousness And Maintaining Good Relations With Relatives). Further evidence on this is reported by al-Qurtubi that Ali ibn Abi Talib said: “If God Knew of disobedience (towards parents) even less significant than saying “Argh” (or an equivalent interjection), He Would Have Mentioned it, the devoted to his parents may do what he wills to do, he will not enter Hell, and the disobedient (towards parents) may do what he wills to do, and he will not enter Paradise.”

Table of ContentsDevotion to one′s parents

A message to all sons and daughters

Virtues of devotion to one’s parents

Devotion to the mother takes precedence over devotion to the father

The supplication of parents is always answered by God

Ingratitude towards one’s parents is one of the gravest sins

You and your wealth belong to your father

Warning

Beware of cursing

The consequences of ingratitude towards one’s parents manifest in life before death

Obligation to maintain kind ties with the mother and the father even when they are non-believers

Beware of neglecting dutiful treatment of one’s parents

Devotion to one’s parents once they are deceased

Visiting the graves of parents in the traditions of the Muslim culture

The stature of the older brother

The virtue of being dutiful to one’s mother: the story of the cow

Supplication for the parents

Supplication for our daughters and sons

Real Stories: The Blessings of the supplication and prayers of parents

Examples from the lives of the Dutiful Honorable Companions of the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ): Anas ibn Malik’s devotion to his mother

The blessings of being devoted to one’s father

I was astonished by the culture of devotion and utmost beauty and excellence to parents in Islam

Show mercy and compassion toward your parents as they raised you from a young age

My mother’s eye

Dutifulness to parents and everlasting charity

The devotion of the great ones

Devotion towards a mother in need

The story of Kilab and his devotion to his parents

Magnificent Devotion

The mother’s meal

My precious mother

My mother’s diary

The dearest human

The father’s love

Kinship ties

Virtues of kinship ties

The merit of charity to blood relatives

The rewards of maintaining good kinship ties, the punishment of severing these ties

Severing kinship ties deprives one of mercy and changes the nature of one’s actions

Kinship through breast milk

A person who’s severed family ties

Damned is the person severing blood ties

I will connect to whoever honors ties of kinship

Befriend them in this world in kindness

Harvard University Study

Honoring kinship ties by spreading peace and prayers upon Prophet PBUH (ﷺ)

An incident that happened with Imam al-Hassan al-Basri (May God Have mercy on his soul)

Devotion to one′s parents

God The Almighty said in the Holy Quran: (And your Lord has decreed that you worship none except Him. You shall be good (dutiful) to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, then don’t say to them a word of disrespect, nor scold them but address them in terms of honor, And lower to them the wing of submission (humility) through Mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy just as they raised me (when I was) a little child.”) (Al-Isra’: 23-24).

The Almighty also said: (And We have enjoined on people (to be dutiful) to their parents. Each mother carries her child in her womb while suffering in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and then weans the child in 2 years that: “You give thanks to Me and to your parents, to Me is the final destination. If they both strive against you to make you join in worshiping others with Me of which you have no knowledge, then don’t obey them; but behave with them kindly in this world, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in repentance and in obedience. To Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you have done.) (Luqman: 14-15).

Al-Bukhari and Muslim related that Abdullah ibn Masud narrated : ((‘I asked the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) ‘Which deed is loved most by God?” He replied, ‘To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.’ “ ‘Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said, “To be good and dutiful to one’s parents,” ‘Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said, “To participate in Jihad for God’s Cause.” )) (Sahih al-Bukhari, related from Sho’aybah, hadith no: 5970, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab): chapter of The Almighty saying (And We have enjoined on people (to be dutiful) to their parents).

Furthermore, at-Tabarani related that Ahmad said: ((Be dutiful to your parents and your progeny will be dutiful to you. Be chaste yourselves and your women will remain chaste))

(At-Tabarani in al-Mu’jam al-Awsat, from Ahmad, hadith no: 1021, Chapter Aleph).

A message to all sons and daughters

Dear brothers & sisters in Islam

The Arabic term “birr” برّis a noun that encompasses all that is good: truthfulness, obedience, righteousness, fear of God/piety, goodness, the good of this world, the good of the hereafter. It also means to go further still in treating other people with the utmost beauty and excellence.

The parents are: the father, grandfather and great-grandfather and so on, the mother, grandmother and great-grandmother and so on, and in association with the father and mother are also included: the aunts and uncles, as explained by the Prophet

PBUH (ﷺ) in the following hadiths: “Omar, bear this in mind, the uncle of a person is like his father”

(Sahih Muslim, reported by Abu Hurayrah, hadith no 983, the Book of Zakat).

“The aunt is of the same status as the mother.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari, narrated by Al-Barra, hadith no: 4251,the Book of Military Expeditions led by the Prophet (pbuh) (Al-Maghaazi):

Chapter: ‘‘Umra Al-Qada’).

‘Birr’ towards our parents means to constantly go as far as we can in treating them with devotion, utmost beauty and excellence.

The Almighty orders you to treat your parents with such devotion as they are the reason for your apparent existence as well as your real existence. God Almighty says in the Holy Quran: (And your Lord has decreed that you worship none except Him. You shall be good (dutiful) to parents.) (Al-Isra’: 23).

The Almighty thus links them to His worship as their rights come immediately after the worship of God in importance and He links gratitude towards them to gratitude to Himself Almighty: (be grateful towards Me and towards thy parents) (Luqman: 14).

God Orders one to show gratitude towards one’s parents just as one is required to be grateful to Him.

The commandment to honor and be devoted to one’s parents is reiterated in more than one verse in the Holy Quran including the following verses:(We have commanded people to be good to their parents, but do not obey them if they strive to make you serve, beside Me, anything of which you have no knowledge: you will all return to Me, and I shall inform you of what you have done) (al-’Ankabut:8).

( We have commanded man to be good to his parents: his mother struggled to carry him and struggled to give birth to him- his bearing and weaning took a full thirty months) (al-Ahqaf: 15). In other words, God commands us to honor our parents even if they are disbelievers.

Furthermore, The Almighty did not emphasize any matter in the Holy Quran the way He emphasized treatment of parents with the utmost beauty and excellence, bringing every human’s attention to those to whom he/she owes his/her existence. He did not ask parents to take care of their children because He has molded the hearts of parents with such compassion, mercy and kindness that there is no need to command parents to honor the rights of children; yet He specifically addresses children rather than parents to remind them of their duty.

Son:

Your very existence in this world is a blessing beyond measure, a good deed you will never fully repay however hard you may try to.

The positive life impact and legacy of a person who gets married, starts a family and raises his children to become excellent God fearing human beings does not end with death, as said by the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ): “When a person dies, his deeds are cut off except for three: Continuing charity, knowledge that others benefited from, and a righteous son who supplicates for him.”

(reported by at-Tirmidhi, narrated by Abu Hurayrah, hadith no: 1376. Chapter: What Has Been Related About Al Waqf, rigorously authenticated hadith). Whomever God guides never loses his way and whoever loses his way has no guide.

Humans do not exist alone in a system of parity, for this entire world functions accordingly as stated by The Almighty in the Holy Quran: ( and We created pairs of all things so that you [people] might take note) (adh- Dhariyat: 49). In this entire universe, only God Almighty is the One.

Son:

When an individual intends to protect himself and his spouse from sin, and to bring to this world good pious children, this union in marriage becomes an act of obedience that parents carry out in order to be close to God. Your existence is thus one of the purposes of this marriage.

Son:

The pregnancy that your mother carried to give you birth was tiring and physically straining. From the moment of conception, your mother has the feeling of nausea and morning sickness, your mother begins to experience food cravings, your father will try to support her through this journey as much needed, he will help prepare the meals she desires. The more time passes, the more you grow within your mother’s womb, and the weaker and more exhausted she becomes. As stated by The Almighty: (their mothers carried them, with strain upon strain) (Luqman: 14). You begin to share your mother’s food and drink, and at four months and ten days, you start to move inside her, causing her constant discomfort with each movement. Though she is utterly happy with the discomfort, she feels you alive within and waits for the other move impatiently to check that you are doing fine.

you are a source of constant discomfort throughout pregnancy, she endures in patience until the whole process comes to an end. After nine months, when you become too heavy, the angel prepares you to come into a world inestimably greater than yours; the pain of both labor and delivery overwhelmed your mother. She had to breathe in and out and groan as she suffered the excruciating pains of childbirth. Never forget that your passage into this world from the tight narrow womb of your mother was only possible by God’s grace and mercy : ( He makes the way easy for him ) (‘Abasa: 20).

Once you come into this world, and your mother lays eyes on you, she quickly overcomes all the pain with undescribed happiness. She forgets all the suffering and pains of pregnancy and labor, begins a new phase of your existence, a new phase of trial and struggle. In your infancy, you neither had teeth to bite nor hands to use with force nor feet that could carry you nor eyes that could properly guide you, and you soiled yourself. Yet your mother rushed to comfort you and take care of you with a content loving heart. Every time you cry, she looks after you and cleans you. She showers you with kisses even when you are cranky and can not go to sleep. She happily does her duties towards you, smiling, without complaint or resentment, embracing you and asking God to safeguard you and grant you a long blessed life.

She could only rest when you sleep, was restless when you are restless, calm when you are calm, unwell if you are ill, only fully healthy when you are healed, hungry when you are hungry, full when you are full, cold when you are cold, and warm when you feel warm. Whenever you wake up day or night and scream from hunger, she sprints to her feet to nurse you, expecting nothing in return. She continues to care for you until you are able to crawl, a milestone that gives her such joy to share with the whole world, as if you have just landed on the moon.

Every milestone of your development is a milestone of her own life and a reason for her to celebrate: the day you utter your first word, the day your first tooth emerges, the day you take your first step. These are all days she celebrates and thanks God for. She would celebrate by giving charity in gratitude. Your mother will always prepare for you the best clothes because she wants you to be the best in every aspect. With every day that passes, she is busy taking care of you and your siblings, and if any harm befalls you, everything else ceases to exist in her eyes as she rushes to protect you.

Whenever you see her holding something sweet in her hand, she will immediately give it to you in love and compassion as she always puts her children ahead of her own self. She continues to care for you until you grow to become an adult of her height if not taller.

And throughout this time, your father works as hard as he can to provide for his family every means of comfort and leisure possible. From the moment your mother suffers her first morning sickness when she is pregnant with you, he begins to do his best to secure any food or desire she likes so that you will be born a healthy, thriving infant.

When you are born, your father’s affection for you grows because you are his legacy and will carry his name. He continues to work hard to secure all that brings happiness to your mother, as he might even deprive himself to feed you both. As you grow, your demands start to expand which means more expenses. Sometimes your father will refrain from certain meals or clothes to afford more meals or clothes for you, quietly and patiently working hard, happy to be able to provide you with what you need.

Your father gives you what you desire, never once making you aware of his own needs or the limits of his means, especially during Eid, offering you and your siblings new clothes head to toe, even if he may take a loan

so that you could share Eid celebrations without once letting you feel in need, spending his money on you without measure, expecting nothing in return.

Your father continues to provide for you everything you need until you are a grown up of his height if not taller. It is and have children of your own.

Son:

I want you to always keep in mind the image that I briefly described, especially as you watch your parents reach old age and begin to decline in health. After having been once strong and independent, and as you see them aging, either one or both, I want you to devote yourself to treating them with the utmost beauty and excellence until the last day of their lives, and to show them the love they have shown you, for The Almighty Who created you reminds you of your duty towards them as they age, especially if they are in your care.

The Almighty reminds you of your duty towards your parents in their old age because it is precisely then that they will need your devotion; they now need you in the same way that you needed their care when you were little.

God Almighty reminds you of your parents in their old age because you will most likely be less devoted to them when they become talkative and repetitive, when their demands multiply, when you are hurt by the things they say or do. When you hear from them hurtful unbearable words, do not frown or say harsh things, do not raise your voice or look at them in anger, or make angry hand gestures at them or at the things they say or do that you disapprove of, in fact, do not even restrain them, and if you have no choice but to restrain them, then do it in the form of gentle and kind advice.

Furthermore, The Almighty forbids you to complain of their extended stay even if it becomes a burden to you, refrain from feelings of weariness and anger and do not verbally express tiredness or restlessness, not even with heavy sighs that convey weariness or restlessness, be it as little as “Pfew!” which signifies boredom- it’s an interjection that one expresses whenever something occurs.

And when you perceive from your parents an unpleasant body odor, be patient and ask God for His Rewards, as they were once patient with you. And if you must clean them up, be as gentle and caring as they were with you when they had to clean you, knowing how hard this process was.

If God forbids you from the most basic

expression of weariness, it is to forbid you

from inflicting any harm or pain upon your

parents, so that you never humiliate or brutalize them.

Son:

Gaze upon them with love and compassion, and tend to their needs yourself, rather than delegating this duty to others. There’s no shame serving one’s parents. Do not lead your parents even if you are more knowledgeable, and only walk ahead of him to clear the road for him, always have them head any seating arrangement, and never begin eating or drinking before they do. Always address them with the most beautiful words and expressions of respect, and never call them by their first name. Our prophet Abraham PBUH addressed his uncle, despite the rift between him and his uncle, who was a non-believer: “O my father.” And Abraham PBUH only ceased to pray for his uncle until the latter passed away refusing to believe in God; only then did Abraham disown his uncle.

Humble yourself to your parents the way a subject would to his King or a slave to his master in all words and actions. Never raise your voice over theirs, and never look at them with a cold or harsh stare. Lady Aisha, may God be pleased with her, said “He who glares at his father does not honor his father, for glaring at them is an expression of anger towards them”.

Submit yourself humbly in mercy towards them, like a bird lowering his mighty wings gently to care for his chicks or humbly landing on the ground: a bird lifts and spreads his wings to fly, yet folds and lowers them to descend on earth. It is why the image of lowering wings became an example in humility that God commands us to follow. Humble yourself to your parents as commanded by The Almighty, and behave in their presence as a weak guilty servant would around a harsh difficult master. And have mercy and compassion on them for needing you today, you who was once the most in need of their care and attention, and supplicate God to immerse them in His mercy at least five times a day. Don’t be content with your grace which doesn’t last and supplicate God: “O my Sustainer! Bestow Thy grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me when I was a child!”

The Sustainer specifically mentions the efforts of rearing and rearing you so that you may feel deeper compassion and kindness towards them, bearing in mind that this is for believer parents (as He has taught us to ask Him :”O my Sustainer! Bestow Thy grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me when I was a child!”).

Son:

If your parents are non-believers, you must still honor them, treat them with the utmost respect and excellence, take care of their financial needs, and always be the best possible companion to them, serving them and obeying them in all matters except in matters of your faith, for if they were to invite you to worship other than God then : (There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to God). If they ask you to drive them from the temple back home, then it is your duty to oblige them, but if they ask you to serve them alcohol then do not give them what they ask, and if they ask you to return an empty glass of wine to the table, then do so. Pray for them profusely and ask God to have mercy on them and to guide them to Islam, for there’s great good in asking for God’s mercy for them during their lives. It is forbidden to ask God to forgive polytheists after they have lived and died non-believing in God,

Al-Bukhari also reposted : As if I saw the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) talking about one of the prophets whose nation had beaten him and caused him to bleed, while he was cleaning the blood off his face and saying, “O Allah! Forgive my nation, for they have no knowledge.”(Sahih al-Bukhari, narrated by Abdullah, hadith no: 3477, Book of Prophets).

The prohibition hence pertains to those who pass away without faith. But as long as they are alive, many scholars have concluded that it is strongly recommended for one to ask God’s forgiveness for his non believer parents and to pray for God’s grace and mercy on them so long as they are alive. Once they leave this world, there is no longer hope that they might believe and thus no longer asks for God’s forgiveness for them. And if he’s unsure of the faith of his parents at the time of their death, then he should ask God to forgive them.

as The Almighty said in the Quran: (It is not fitting for the Prophet and the believers to ask forgiveness for the idolaters- even if they are related to them- after having been shown that they are the inhabitants of the Blaze)(at-Taubah (Repentance): 113).

And always bear in mind what the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said when they broke his lateral incisors and hurt his face: “O Allah! Forgive my people, because they certainly do not know”. In other words, the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) did not disobey God when asking forgiveness for his polytheist people for they were alive and he hoped they would surrender to God, and he hoped that from the descendants of the polytheists would be those who believe in God, his Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) and the day of judgment.

The great scholar Imam Ibn al-Jawzi said in “Zad al-Massir” commenting on the following verse of the Holy Quran: (We have commanded people to be good to their parents) (al-’Ankabut (the Spider):8)

Othman an-Nahdi reported that Saad ibn Abi Waqqas said “This ayah was revealed in relation to me.”

Virtues of devotion to one’s parents

Devotion towards one’s parents takes precedence over jihad (jihad: striving or struggle for the sake of God):

Honoring and being devoted to one’s parents is better than jihad for the sake of God, provided it’s not mandatory to answer the call of God (as is the case when an enemy attacks a city and all men are called to defend it), for in such case everyone has a duty, subject to parental permission. The following hadiths support the fact that devotion to one’s parents is better than striving for the sake of God:

Al-Bukhari and Muslim related that Abdullah ibn Masud narrated: ((I asked the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) “Which deed is loved most by God?” He replied, “To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.” Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said, “To be good and dutiful to one’s parents,”Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said, “To participate in Jihad for God’s Cause.” )) (the hadith was previously referenced).

Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and al-Nasa’i related that Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-’Ass narrated that a man came to the Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied,”yes”. The Prophet PBUH (ﷺ) said to him, “Then exert yourself in their service.”

(in Sahih Muslim narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-’Ass, hadith no: 2549; Book of Virtue, Enjoining Good Manners, and Joining of the Ties of Kinship, Chapter: Dutifulness to one’s parents, And Which Of Them Is More Entitled To It. Also in Sahih al-Bukhari narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-’Ass, hadith no: 3004; Book of Jihad, Chapter: Participation in Jihad with parent’s permission)

Furthermore, al-Bayhaqi reported that ibn Amr said: