I could love you - Ester Ashton - E-Book

I could love you E-Book

Ester Ashton

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  • Herausgeber: Ester Ashton
  • Sprache: Englisch
  • Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
Beschreibung

Cassandra Miller has been deeply wounded in her past and this thing has affected her life. An inner torment made her insecure, incapable of accepting her body and reclutant to give her love to someone. But her life is about to change: she meets Logan Mitchell and the apathy in wich she lived goes inexorably into fragments.
He is a marine, beautiful as sin, but danger for her fragile feelings: because Logan doesn’t know what love is.
Something, however, is destined to change. Because when feelings undergo the seductive charm of love, the only thing to do is let them carry on.
A battle of conflicting emotions will lead both them to mistakes and impossible choices.

He will fight for the most important mission of his life…

She will face a struggle between the demons of the past and her heart…

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Ester Ashton

I could love you

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Indice dei contenuti

Dedicated to

Chapter 1 Cassie

Chapter 2 Cassie

Chapter 3 Cassie

Chapter 4 Logan

Chapter 5 Logan

Chapter 6 Logan

Chapter 7 Logan

Chapter 8 Logan

Chapter 9 Logan

Chapter 10 Logan

Chapter 11 Logan

Chapter 12 Cassie

Chapter 13 Cassie

Chapter 14 Cassie

Chapter 15 Cassie

Chapter 16 Cassie

Chapter 17 Cassie

Chapter 18 Logan

Chapter 19 Cassie

Chapter 20 Cassie

Chapter 21 Cassie

Chapter 22 Logan

Chapter 23 Logan

Chapter 24 Logan

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ALSO BY ESTER ASHTON

This e-book contains copyrighted material and it cannot be copied, reproduced, posted, distributed, rented or provided publicly or used in a different way, if not specified by the author, to the terms and conditions through it has been bought or anything which the laws provide. Every not authorized distribution or fruition of this textbook even if the change of electronic information about rights it is clearly a violation of the publisher and author themselves and it will be held civilly and criminally according to the Italian law 633/1941 and successive amendments. This e-book will not be in any way object of change, trade, lending, resale, hire purchase without the written consensus of the publisher. If case of given consensus, this e-book cannot have any different structure from the original one and the included conditions here have to be imposed also to the next user. Every relation with real names, places, characters or events are fantasy element created by the author. Every resemblance with places, facts, people is casual.Traslate by: Rosamaria Bertugni Editing: Anna RussoCover: iStockCover Design: AntoGraphic

Dedicated to

Giulia and Alessia
«Sweeter would be the death, if my eyes had last horizon as your face. And if so, a thousand times, I would be born. To die, a thousand times, even.» William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Chapter 1

Cassie

The silence in my office was more irritating than that one which was coming from my door. This calm bothered me when I listened to the middle morning chaos in the street outside the window. I lean on the chair back and I sighed. Biting the pen stopper I turn around fixing, through the stained glass, the skyscraper in front of me. I was unfulfilled and the fault of that unease was due to my job, but not exclusively. I have been employed for years in the management department of the biggest lingerie boutique, Seduction. My task was the accounting of the USA stores, but not solely. The job was boring, tedious and repetitive and I was really dissatisfied. If I had had the sale assistant position in one of those boutiques where the seduction was the queen, I would have been more appeased. Every single item made of lace, leather, silk, a seductive night gown, I would have imagined him who take them off me or looking at me with desire.The boutique Seduction was a true temptation. In the last period I have decided to dare so much more, not just for my lingerie, but also because I totally changed the way I looked. I was on diet and even if I got thin, I had to lose weight again in order that I could live up to the men’s stereotype. I had all these things so that he looked at me in a different manner and he noticed me as a woman and not just as the sister of his sister-in-law Jacklyn. My temperament was stubborn and strong, I didn’t give up, at least he wasn’t free, but in that moment he had a relationship. The dissatisfaction on the job place reflected on the desire to have a love story and to abandon myself to the deep desire I felt when I saw him. I had met him for the first time at my sister’s engagement dinner, he was the brother of my brother-in-law and my heart lost some beat when I saw Logan. Meanwhile we were introducing ourselves, he smiled at me, giving his hand to me and I had winced to the contact with him, feeling a mild tremor. I had immediately left his hand feeling me dazed, by contrast Logan Mitchell’s expression didn’t change. I had remained in silence almost the evening, replying barely if requested, intimidated and attracted by the massive man who was able to send a strong sexual charge, making me feel a girl on her first crush. Since that evening Logan had come to our house many times with Adam, when his job as marines didn’t take him in a foreign country, and the frequency of this situation hadn’t helped me. If this insane attraction had displaced me initially, every time I met him and he gives his attention to other women, I felt new feelings to grow up in my heart. I suffered because of him and I had had to suppress those feelings which had grown up, forcing me to forget him. Nevertheless, I wasn’t able to do it, because he spent his free time with my brother Sam, but what made me angry was that he took the right to protect me like a sister. Instead I wanted him to look at me as a woman. But how could him do it even if I didn’t feel good with myself? Although mother earth was so generous giving me a pretty face, she wasn’t with my body. Since my adolescence I had had to resign seeing the other girls to show a long-legged body, meanwhile my body had more generous shapes. If I was desperate to the beginning, but I surrendered and I suffered when I looked in the mirror and my body was losing tonicity and shapes. I had tried to hide that obesity, back large and formless clothes in order to hide a 16. Both Jacklyn and Sam had tried to convince me to react attempting to do physical activity and eating healthy, because they believed firmly that this aim would have trusted myself. I wouldn’t after the experience with my ex. Things changed when I met Logan. Since the first time I had thought he felt compassion for me and he was so protective to me, when somebody approach me excessively. In one hand this thing enhances me, because I had his attention, on the other hand it distressed me because I wasn’t the woman who deserve to be by his side. In that moments Logan confused me, because he would never have looked at me as one of those women, he went out seeing them with excitement, desire and passion. However, I threw myself in a relationship with a stranger, I met him to a party where my best friend Eveleen invited me, in order to discover the emotions which Logan wasn’t able to give me. I trusted Brian but he didn’t, so I remained disappointed and heart-broken. I had saw Brian as the person who would have accepted me for what I was. On the contrary, I had been trying to change me for all the time we had been together, humiliating me for everything that wasn’t good in his opinion. After the last arguing I realized I wasn’t able to have a relationship with anybody, certainly not with him. Logan Mitchell was so hot. Handsome, sexy, I shuddered of desire just to look at him. My thoughts were sinful in his presence and my wild imagination gave me every possible erotic scene. Only the thought of being touched, cosseted, stroked by his hand and licked by his mouth, excited me immediately. Logan was my dream love, my forbidden dream my biggest passion. It was that unrequited love who took me to react and to see a specialist who could help me to lose weight. I know I have never become a model but I reached my goal and I lost two sizes and, after difficult years, I saw those goals which I didn’t imagine to reach. Absorbed by my thoughts I didn’t listen to knock on the door, until it wasn’t open. I turned the head and I thanked God I was sitting on my chair, when I saw Logan, as in my thoughts and my brother Sam. «Do you hide here?» Sam asked, approaching me to give me a kiss on my cheek. I stretched forward to have that brotherly kiss, but my attention was all for Logan. I couldn’t take my eye off him and seeing him who was returning, it didn’t help me to control myself. It seemed there was a storm in my mind, but only one surfaced masterfully and I was wondering if he had noticed my change. Mindful of the question asked by Sam, I deflected my gaze with difficulty taking it on my brother’s face. «If I wanted to do it, I choose different place» I replied smiling. I was unable to shift my gaze from Logan. He was so tall, his height was almost six-two, his powerful and muscular figure of ex rugby player, occupied the entry. I observed those muscles desiring to covering them with my hands and feeling them tighten up to the touch of my finger. His blue eyes were so intense and they reminded me a clear and crystalline, bright and luminous, they were fixing me. His perfect and plump lips smiled splendidly. Here, ahead of me, Logan was the embodiment of a Greek god. I licked my lips, thinking to that mouth on my body tasting its fullness. If that desire, which was increasing inside me, made me feel an intense warmth and to notice him following my movements, made me red-hot. That man was able to confuse me in a different way, in fact my hormones screamed “ take me” every time his eyes lingered me, like in that moment. His brown hair, with some coppery shades, were clearer than last time we met and they have the colour of a sunset or a beautiful dawn. The skin of him, kissed by the sun, was amber and I would have liked to walk along it with my lips. He wore a blue shirt that made not only the color of his eyestand out,but it adhered to the mighty chest and it highlighted every muscle and every movement of its own made the strong biceps inflate. He wore a pair of blue jeans which emphasize his hips as a second skin. I fixed that hot body and I dwelled my gaze in front of the zipper, noticing that forbidden swelling. My breathing was going faster and I established myself to control me, but I felt the warmth of my body to increase. “ Don’t look Cassandra” I thought “ Otherwise I will think you are sex addicted.” I felt this way when in his presence. I look away smiling and fixing him in his eyes. I was conscious Sam was here so I kicked out every image of Logan and me on the bed giving pleasure one another. «Logan, what a surprise!» I exclaimed standing up. I was happy he came back, and I had missed him for all the time he hadn’t been here, even if I hadn’t had to. «I knew you were happy» said Sam laughing. I turn the head towards my brother. «Did you force him to come here?» Knowing it annoyed me. «Stop talking about me like I am not here» said Logan. I laughed allowing my brother to embrace me. He wore a grey suit which extolled his body, but he wasn’t so well built as Logan’s. «Don’t you go to the court today?» I asked to Sam, trying to control my sexual impulses. «Only in the afternoon» Replied him and when he was on the point to say something else, his mobile rang.
*** Logan
I close the door avoiding, for a couple of seconds, those eyes which had undressed me and excited at my expense. How could I remain helpless in front of that strong desire glowing in those irises? “ What the hell do you think Logan?” She was my sister-in-law’s sister and his brother became one of my best friends. I have known her for some years and I developed in the last months lascivious thoughts about her, during the night in particular when my defences and she was in my dreams. Every time I saw her, she enchanted me: in one hand her shyness softens me, on the other hand her determination bewitched me. The first time I saw her, during my brother’s engagement dinner, I didn’t pay attention to her. After some time, I had stop me to observe her more often, but she wasn’t my ideal woman, nevertheless I was fascinated by her. Every time I went on quests and I came back home after two months, he seemed she was different to me: sometime she changed her hair, another one she has make-up on her eyes, which bring out her gaze, others she didn’t wear large clothes that sweetened her body. She became more beautiful every time I saw her. When we were in the same room I perceive a subtle sexual charge, as if she waited for me to tempt me. I didn’t like seeing her to be with a friend here. I had a strange behavior, since I had always tried to remain a friend for her. However, if it happened I was present when a friend of her touched a curl to take him near the ear, touched her hand or her cheek, I became mad. What kind of man wouldn’t be tempted by her honey blonde hair, by her green eyes treated like a grass, her long eyelashes which attracted my gaze, the thin nose and those emphasized cheekbones tempted me to touch it with the finger and the fleshly mouth that enticed me to kiss her? I was compelled by them but I held on, especially when my eyes look her sensual body, with the right curve and the flourishing and full breast. I hasn’t seen Cassandra since two months and suddenly she became another person, thinner than I remembered. I moved towards her slowly, observing her I turned around the writing table. Cassandra smiled, but observing her more carefully, I noticed her cheeks had become red and her eyes were so fleeting. She had take her eyes off me when I stopped in front of her, those green irises crossed mine. «Welcome back, you has gone away for a very long time» She said and I noticed, amused, she blushed even better. I nodded «Yes, I have». I saw her to give me her hand to say hello but her imperceptible hesitation made me react, for the first time, differently. I shook her hands bringing her towards me. Our bodies had a contact and I perceived her sweet weight. I hugged her, inebriating me of her smell, a flower mix which reminded me of the East. Cassandra seemed to be made for me, her curves shaped on my body and I was upset by that discovery. If I thought I would be able to control my excitement, I was totally wrong. Even though we had clothes, it was as I felt her tough nipples through the tissue rubbing against my skin. It was a dangerous game to imagine it and feeling her to give in to me even more. I would never have thought to see her eyes to become unbelieving to my act and to glow of desire, it was sufficient to upset me. Though I didn’t leave her, I pretended my penis wasn’t erected as a spear against her womb or thinking how it would have been to kiss her mouth. Her hot breathing blew on my skin and just for a moment her lips touched my chin. My penis, by contrast, was so alive under the jeans zipper. After the situation could be out of control or San could ask something, I backed off, but she got away having a seat. «Why are you fixing me?» She asked tilting her head, smiling me. I looked away and slowly I saw her body, noticing every detail of the tissue which signed up her voluptuous shapes and showed her long and thin legs. “ How long did she have it in that way?” I thought. Not only did I discover she lost weight, but there was something different in her, but everything could be, it showed a sexual charge which whoever stopped to look at her was attracted. «I believe you missed something to your dress» I replied laughing in order to hide my pleasure on seeing that shapes. «Did you play being a seamstress?» I saw her cheeks to become red meanwhile she was leaning against the couch. «Even if I had done it?» She replied quickly «I don’t understand what the problem could be». I see her face arching my eyebrow. «Think of those poor men out there to whom you would cause a pneumonic crisis» I mocked, satisfied for seeing her so embarrassed «Or worse a stroke». «I could cause it, but it wouldn’t be my problem» I came forward and as I had well imagined, the tissue of the dress was raised and I could notice her black panties. I supposed it was a bloody thong. And immediately I had another image in my mind: a man who enjoyed it and I became angry. It was the first time I saw Cassandra with a different external appearance, more aggressive, sensual and maybe too sexy. She had changed, becoming explosive. Everybody could have looked at her. She had decided to dare and I felt lost, because I want her, desire her and, moreover, I would have kidnapped her and close her in my own house. I observed her open lips and in that moment I felt the impulse, as it happened in the last months, to kiss the, to taste them in order to understand if they were so velvety as I thought.

Chapter 2

Cassie

Those words outraged me; it was another kind of interest what I desired to have from him. His sensual voice made my heart pump hard, but at the same time he was able to make me mad, when he had that cocky approach. Why? I wasn’t his sister but a twenty-years-old woman, I was single and free to do what I wanted. Before I could reply to his absurdities which he said to me and release on him all my anger, the phone rang. Only then did I realized my brother wasn’t in the room anymore, I was so concentrated on Logan that I hadn’t seen him to talk on the phone quietly. I had to control myself, even as I took the phone receiver, I pulled it with strength. «Hello. Cassandra Miller» I answered, shooting a stink eye to Logan. He remained here next to me smiling in a smartass way and he was fixing me. «Hi Cassie!» The reassuring voice of my best friend Eveleen calmed my anger. «There is a surprise for you» «I have just had it and believe me it is sufficient». I followed Logan with my gaze, he was near the window turning his back. There was no doubt he heard the conversation and I had an idea just then. «Do you make believe me you are not interested to a fantastic invitation for tonight?» My best friend knew how to tempt me. It was a sort of devil in skirt and she knew I would have been able to resist to her challenge. «I hate you when you behave that way, do you know it?» I was fixing Logan to give him the impression there was a man on the phone, I was satisfied. «Is it a special date?» I perceived my best friend’s hesitation but that short break was in my favour. I smiled satisfied and I thanked God he was on his back and he wasn’t able to see the expression on my face. Logan didn’t say anything, he was listening silently and he was awaiting I ended the call. He was so patient and controlled, but I wanted that his strong emotional determination would have fallen and he could have showed his passionate part, I was sure he had it. «Are you busy, Cassie?» «It depends on what you say» I replied crossing the leg «If you talk about tonight, I’m yours» «Cassandra Miller, if I didn’t know you haven’t any social life, any man, I would think you are not alone!» I smiled because she understood my intention, but Eveleen knew me very well. «You are right» I confirmed «I enjoy myself to provoke» «You are always the same» She said «But I want to see you when I will show you the dress I took for you. We will see in the afternoon. It will be wonderful on you» I had changed my life and I lost weight, from that moment the first thing I would have had was make changes on my personal look and throw away that formless dresses I wore. Eveleen was the owner of a boutique, she changed my wardrobe. The result was a pleasant news, every dress, even though I was a little bit in flesh or as Eveleen said so curvaceous, it enhanced my body making it more sensual for the first time in my life. I got used to that news and I got ready to be observed with appreciation everywhere I went. But I wanted to make an impression on Logan. «I’m trembling» I said imagining him. A second later I realized that my answer was ambiguous and Eveleen laughed. I observed with the corner of my eye Logan’s head to turn in order to look at me. I played dumb and I fixed some sheets in front of me. «You are terrible, Cassie» «Only once it is necessary» «You are keeping him on tenterhooks» She said «Do you like him?» «You know the answer» Inside I hoped he understood me. I played this game to revenge me and now I didn’t want to baffle it saying it was my best friend on the phone. Eveleen understood immediately. «Oh my God! Logan is here with you» She exclaimed. I heard her voice; she was laughing and I had to control myself not to do the same thing. «You will be in trouble at the end of this conversation!»«Never! See you tonight» I argued. I turned my head towards Logan and I was hit by his gaze. «Interesting conversation» He said going towards the window. «Are your all phone calls in this way?» I was attracted by his face: the warped eyebrow, his lips had a naughty smile and those irises seemed to infiltrate inside my deepest soul. I swallowed without load, and with my crazy heartbeat, I saw him going in my direction. In that moment I could only imagine what the preys could feel when they were stalked. How many women did feel the same? Compelled by the movements of his body and subjugated by his blue eyes, I asserted myself to control me. In the last minutes, which seemed to be infinitive, I lost in him. It was his fault. If the mouth was able to reply, neither my brain wasn’t and not my body. «Do you mean erotic calls?» I said without thinking but I was playing his game. «Maybe...». I noticed a flicker in his eyes and they have the ability to make me powerless in front of his manhood and his gushing sensuality. «Do you always need a telephone encouragement...» Logan talked back. «... before you meet a man?». I hadn’t no answer, we have never had that kind of conversation until that moment, he was so calm, on the contrary I was so distraught. Only the thought of Logan talking on the phone about erotic stuff, before a date, drove me crazy. He was so near to me that I had the fear he could feel the accelerated beat of my heart. I felt an intense warmth on my cheeks. I cursed in my mind against myself: I was giving him the proof about his ability to have a certain power on me. I noticed everything, he was aware of what he was causing to me and he was enjoying it. He had a satisfied expression on his face, he raised his hand and his fingers stroked me. It was like a light puff, but it caused a mild shock which bothered me, and seeing the expression on his face, I was not the only one to feel it. Not even with my ex I felt it. And maybe for this reason I reply. «I don’t need any kind of encouragement» I whispered. The lightning of desire in his irises was the only thing he showed me, because a moment later he went away. Perplexed and completely intrigued by his presence, I didn’t noticed Sam was in the room. I had trouble to concentrate me on my brother, I perceived again the touch of Logan’s fingers. I breathed in order to control me but it was a big mistake, nevertheless Logan went away, I felt hi masculine smell mixed with cologne. I was unable as a child, as a boat in the tempest which sways without course in the grip of a big love, incapable to take it in my heart. «Sorry, a business call» Sam said. «You should slow down» I said smiling. I stood up noticing Logan’s eyes followed me. I was worried about Sam. He had been working hardly for the last months and we didn’t see all the time. I missed the afternoons we spent together, the walks in the parks, the shopping together, and the lunch during the week. Since he had become the partner in an important legal office, the time we spent together was reduced.«I had an important lawsuit just now». He replied rested a hand on my shoulder and tightened me. «Will we have lunch together?» He said. I would have gone with them, but only the thought to sit at the same table with Logan and to spend time with him, made me to give up reluctantly, so I refused. «Today I can’t.» I lied. «I have a lot orders to evade and bills to settle» I saw Sam and I hopeful I continued «What about tomorrow?». «My little sister!» Exclaimed Sam laughing. «You are always able to obtain what you want, when you look at me in that way». «Not always» I mumbled, thinking of that Greek god next us. «Ok, honey!» My brother confirmed. «We will have lunch together tomorrow» He kissed me on the cheek and he said «We are going away so you can wotk in peace.» I nodded and brooding I observed him to go in the direction of the door, I winced when Logan whispered. «If a gaze could bewitched…» He said in my ear «It would be without doubt yours, Cassie.» I felt a fleeting touch of his lips on my skin, he was going away, following Sam. I observed him walking with elegance, my eyes were pasted on that body where the firm bottom and the muscular legs were bound up by his jeans. Only when I heard the door closing, I blink twice as I come back to life only in that moment. I breathed heavily, touching the hair with my trembling hand. Exhausted, like if I were deprived of all my strengths, I staggered on the chair and I keeled over.