Live Well. Be Happy. E-Book

Richard De A'Morelli

• Herausgeber: Spectrum Ink Publishing
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Seitenzahl: 220

Beschreibung

Everyone wants to live well and be happy, but few understand how to make it happen. In this short book, you will discover it is as simple as this: Change the way you think, and you will change your life.

The author, who has been writing and teaching in the self-help field since the 1980s, presents a series of 28 short lessons that will help you chart a course to the good life you seek and turn the inevitable obstacles and disappointments in daily living to your advantage. Drawn from an award-winning course taught to thousands of adult learners at Virtual University over ten years, the lessons reveal time-proven methods that you can use to reduce stress, build confidence, overcome depression, and break self-destructive habits. You'll learn how to stay sane and balanced when life around you erupts into chaos, and how to tap a limitless reservoir or inner strength and positive energy using deep relaxation, visualization, rhythm breathing, and meditation. You will also explore how to deal with seeds of karma planted long ago in your spiritual garden.

Life is short, and we must make the most of the precious time we have. When you look back on your life after all is said and done, what will matter most is: Did you live well? Were you happy? Have you left the world a better place than it was when you came into it? How you answer those questions will be shaped by your thoughts, words, and deeds in your remaining years.

Learn how to live well and be happy. Everything else in your life will fall into place.

Leseprobe

Live Well.

Be Happy.

28 Spiritual Lessons to Help You Stay Sane and Balanced in a Crazy World

Richard De A’Morelli

Live Well.Be Happy.

Copyright © 2017, 2019 by Spectrum Ink Publishing

Published simultaneously in Canada & the United States

First Edition: January, 2017

Second Edition: August, 2019

Previously released in 2015 as You Can Change Your Life, this edition has been extensively revised, new material added, and retitled to avoid confusion with other similarly titled works.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any means including photocopying, recording, taping, or digital reproduction, or posted on any blog or website without the publisher’s consent except for brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Cover photo licensed from Adobe Stock Graphics. All rights reserved.

ISBN numbers:

978-0-993634-09-3 : Kindle/Mobi (digital)

978-0-993634-08-6 : Epub (digital)

978-0-993634-04-8 : Paperback (Amazon)

978-0-993636-46-9 : Paperback (Retail/Ingram)

978-0-993634-04-9 : Paperback (large print)

978-0-993636-47-6 : Hardcover

Spectrum Ink Publishing

San Luis Obispo, California

1-805-888-2121

https://spectrum.org/books

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to the loving memory of my son, David.

Other Books by Richard De A’Morelli

● Elements of Style 2017: A Grammar, Style, and Punctuation Handbook for Modern Writers

● Elements of Style: Classic Edition (2018)

● Elements of Style Grammar Workbook

● Quick & Easy English Punctuation: A Modern Punctuation and Style Handbook for Writers and Students

● As a Man Thinks: Classic Edition (Editor)

For details on these books and to order, visit the publisher’s website at https://spectrum.org/books

To contact the author, browse to https://spectrum.org/richard

A Message from the Publisher

We hope you enjoy reading this book. Good reviews help spread the word to others about the books you find useful. Please take a minute to post a review at your favorite online bookseller. Even a sentence or two will be greatly appreciated!

Subscribe to Our Mailing List

Subscribe to our free newsletter and be among the first to learn about new books from Richard De A’Morelli and other Spectrum Ink authors, as well as discount coupons, contests, and more. Sign up today at https://spectrum.org/pop-subscribe.html

Table of Contents

Part I: Change Your Life

Lesson 1: Your Life Story, Your Choices

Lesson 2: Breaking Free of the Past

Lesson 3: Your Blueprint for Change

Lesson 4: Relax, Breath, and Start Living

Lesson 5: The Courage to Change Your Life

Lesson 6: Visualize the Possibilities

Lesson 7: Creating Your Own Destiny

Part II: Share the Light

Lesson 8: Wisdom Is Knowledge Applied

Lesson 9: Make Every Day Count

Lesson 10: Seeking the Spiritual

Lesson 11: A Fork in the Road

Lesson 12: Finding Your Strength Within

Lesson 13: Acts of Kindness in Daily Life

Lesson 14: Letting Go and Starting Over

Lesson 15: The Courage to Conquer Fear

Lesson 16: Calming Mind, Body, and Spirit

Lesson 17: Stress—How to Cope With It

Lesson 18: The Power of Mantra Meditation

Lesson 19: Centering in the Here and Now

Lesson 20: Something Beautiful for God

Lesson 21: Conflict Resolution

Lesson 22: The Art of Creating Happiness

Lesson 23: Support: It Really Does Matter

Lesson 24: The Power of Validation

Lesson 25: I Changed My Life—So Can You!

Lesson 26: The Secret Power of Dreams

Lesson 27: Making Choices

Lesson 28: Out From the Heart

About the Author

More Books from Spectrum Ink

Part I

Change Your Life

Lesson 1

Your Life Story, Your Choices

Life in this 21st century world is complicated, confusing, and stressful. Social norms are in flux, the world is in turmoil, families and friends are divided by politics and religion, and the news is filled with disturbing headlines. At the same time, technology has advanced with leaps and bounds. The Internet has become a second home for millions who socialize, learn, shop, and date online. It’s astonishing how much the world has changed just in the past thirty years, and as a consequence, our lives have become ever more complicated as the winds of progress and change continue to blow all around us.

With so much stress and uncertainty affecting us in day-to-day living, it is more important than ever to find ways to stay sane, positive, and focused on what matters most to us. In this book, you will learn methods you can use to remain balanced and keep a positive perspective in life, even when drama and chaos are erupting all around you. You can’t control the thoughts or actions of people causing you aggravation, but how you react to them is your choice. You can let yourself be drawn into drama and discord, or you can remain above the fray and not be a willing participant in the games people play.

That’s an important point to remember: You choose how you react to others. In fact, life is all about making choices. Whether you make decisions based on careful thought, force of habit, subcon­scious motivations, or impulse, everything that has happened in your life has been a result of the choices you’ve made. Likewise, the choices you make today will plant the seeds in the spiritual garden that awaits you in the future. Tomorrow will become the present, and today’s choices will add bricks and mortar to the foundation of your past. Make the right decisions, take the right actions, and wonderful things will happen in your life.

But wait! What about situations in the past where you made no decision—things just happened? Sometimes it’s difficult to see the cause-and-effect link between a decision and its outcome, especially when you didn’t actually make a choice. But procrastination, delay, and inaction are choices—you decide, consciously or without realizing it, to do nothing. Perhaps you are unsure of the right course of action; maybe the outcome you expect won’t be to your liking. Or you might hope that if you ignore a situation, it will go away. It won’t; and choosing to do nothing usually makes it worse. When you choose inaction, you surrender control over the outcome to someone else. That person will almost always opt for what is best for him, and your welfare will be secondary or of no concern. You can probably recall unpleasant situations that came about because you put off a decision and someone else made it for you.

You are who you are today because of your past. It has shaped and molded your character and temperament, your attitudes and desires, your approach to relationships and life in general, and the very foundation of your hopes and dreams for the future. Your choices are the building blocks of your past.

We’re often told that we should live in the present or “in the moment.” But the present only lasts for an instant, and then it becomes the past. The elusive quality of time, where the future morphs into the present and fades into the past as the universal clock ticks on is summed up well by the saying: Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

As much as you might want to rewrite pages of your life story in the past, they can’t be changed. The ink has dried. There’s only the present and the future—and the present is elusive because, by the time you finish writing today’s entry in your life journal, it is yesterday’s news. Only the pages of the future remain blank. Only you can write on them. And what you write will depend on the choices you make and actions you take in the here and now. Today. Tomorrow. The next day. And in the weeks to come. Will the life story you write be a sad tale of unwise choices, lost opportunities, self-destructive habits, and failure? Or will it be a happy story filled with love and light, laughter, success, wellness, caring friends, devoted family, and a bright spiritual destiny? It’s your story, your plot, and your choices.

By reading the first few pages of this book, it’s safe to assume that you are at least wondering if it’s possible for you to live well and be happy. That’s a first step; and, yes, it certainly is possible. But you’ll need to make a few choices—and that’s why I opened with a lesson on that very topic! First and foremost, you need to decide that you want to live well and be happy. It has to be a conscious decision. It won’t happen randomly when you wake up one morning. Then, you will need to make a few more choices and take actions to help you stay sane, positive, and balanced in everyday life. You may need to adjust some of your attitudes; for instance, realize that bitter arguments with family or friends is a drain on your time and emotional energy. Rather than fighting, you can learn simple methods described in this book to deal with those who annoy you—neutralize their influence; use subtle means to coax them to your point of view; learn to understand and respect their views; or tune them out.

In the following chapters, you will learn how to tap into the limitless power of the human mind and use this powerful force to change your life. You will discover ways to reduce stress, overcome depression, and avoid conflicts with your family, friends and col­leagues at work. We will discuss simple methods you can use to stay balanced in day-to-day living such as deep relaxation, visualization, rhythm breathing, and meditation; and you will learn effective ways to build confidence and replace self-destructive habits with healthy behavior. The book also touches on how to deal with seeds of karma planted in your spiritual garden long ago, and how you can bring positivity and light into your life and to those you care about.

All that we have in this physical world is the time allotted to us, and it is a precious gift. You have a limited number of years, months, weeks, and days, in your life. You can guesstimate how much time you might have left, but life is never predictable. In the end, all that will matter when you look back on your life is: Did you live well? Were you happy? Did you bring happiness to others? Will you leave your corner of the world a better place than when you came into it? How you answer those questions will be shaped by your thoughts and actions today, tomorrow, and in the days to come.

Learn how to live well. Learn how to be happy. Everything else in your life is connected and will fall into place.

Lesson 2

Breaking Free of the Past

I have spent a lot of time dwelling on the past lately. Tragedy and loss can drive even the most optimistic and spiritual people to despair. The loss of a child is terribly painful; and when that child is your only child, the paralyzing grief that sets in is beyond words. It’s easy for others to say: “Leave the past behind and move on with your life.” But it’s not easy or even possible to follow that advice when the wounds from a tragedy are fresh and emotions are raw. Instead, one retreats into memories of happier times and becomes a prisoner of the past.

I have believed in the law of cause of and effect, which is known by various names, since I was introduced to the concept at age ten. It’s an obvious law of nature: Every action produces a reaction. When you toss an apple in the air, it comes down. Throw a stone in a pond and it creates ripples. When you make wrong choices in life, those actions produce reactions, and we call them consequences. We might not know until later whether a choice is the correct one, or whether it will have consequences. Sometimes, it takes years or a lifetime for actions to come full circle before we find out.

From the age of twelve, I felt a compelling urge to be a writer, though looking back, I never understood why. I published my first article in a national magazine soon after I turned fourteen. A few months later, I ran away from home to escape an abusive parent. I grew up on the streets, and life wasn’t easy. Being a ninth-grade dropout, I knew my prospects for success as a freelance writer were dim; but I was determined and stubborn. I taught myself the basics of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The summer after I turned eighteen, a paperback publisher offered me a book contract.

Over the next decade, I published a dozen books the old-school way—Amazon.com and its self-publishing platform were years off in the future, and the only way to have a book published was to write better than anyone else and find a publisher willing to gamble thousands of dollars on printing and storing paper books in a warehouse. I was fortunate to have landed a multi-book contract, and I devoted the following years to writing inspirational books, teaching classes on psychic development and meditation, and enjoying a bit of fame at the top of my field. My wife at the time laughed with delight when she went to the supermarket and saw my photo, at least once a month, on the front page of The Star under the headline “World’s Top Ten Psychics Predict...”

It was a bright summer day when I received a call from a woman named Carole who identified herself as the senior editor for Irving Wallace, one of the world’s bestselling authors at the time. She offered me a writing gig. I would contribute to Wallace’s popular Book of Lists and Book of Predictions series, and I would receive by-lined credit as a member of his editorial staff plus more money than I had ever earned as a freelance writer. I practically shouted, “Yes! Of course! I accept!” It was the opportunity of a lifetime for a struggling writer. I was convinced that fate had smiled down on me and my future was bright. I would soon discover how quickly a sunny life outlook can change.

One afternoon a few weeks later, I was watching news on TV and a story came on about a young boy who had been reported missing by his mother in a town about a ninety-minute drive to the south. Unexpectedly, a series of gruesome images flashed through my mind. As the scene played out like a video with no Stop button, I saw a man beating the boy, and then I saw him bury the child in a field. I sensed that the man was the boy’s father or stepfather. A woman stood nearby, crying, and I sensed that she was the mother. I was depressed for the rest of the evening and spent a sleepless night tossing and turning.

Previously, I had worked with law enforcement in several Southern California jurisdictions as a “psychic detective.” Most involved missing children or spouses; two were homicides. The next day, I contacted a detective acquaintance to discuss my impressions. An hour later, he called back. He asked me to drive down and meet with another detective. The boy’s disappearance was being treated as a missing person case, but the detective had some questions and wanted to meet face-to-face. I agreed.

Shortly before I reached the boy’s town, I drove by a vast field covered with heavy brush that stretched off into the distance. Suddenly, I felt a depression so intense that I pulled off the road and stared out at the field for at least ten minutes to compose myself. An hour later, I was walking through that field with a detective and four uniformed police officers; two carried shovels.

We wandered aimlessly for thirty minutes, tromping through heavy weeds and brush, and then we came to a small clearing with evidence of freshly dug soil. The officers with shovels began digging and soon uncovered a child’s body in a shallow grave. I broke down and became physically ill.

Before I drove home that afternoon, I spent an hour with a police sketch artist. Later, I learned that his drawing of the man I had seen in my mind’s eye depicted the boy’s stepfather. The man was arrested for murder, and the boy’s mother was charged as an accessory. Both were convicted and sent to prison.

After that horrible day, I was depressed for weeks. I had recurring nightmares of the child being beaten. I had begun to feel that my second sight was a curse rather than a gift; and other turmoil was going on in my life at the time, which complicated matters further. I needed a break. I finished my current writing project for Irving Wallace, and then I stopped writing altogether. I stopped lecturing and teaching meditation classes. I quit volun­teering at the suicide prevention hotline I had helped to set up at the local Free Clinic. I had decided to take a year’s hiatus from it all and use that time to recharge and assess my life goals.

During this difficult time, my wife gave birth to a son, David, who would be my only child. We had been having problems in our marriage, and after David was born, she moved out to live with her mother. By fall, I had drifted into a part-time job as a disk jockey at a trendy Southern California dance club. It was a weird, 180-degree departure from my writing and psychic work, but it was a needed diversion. Weeks went by, and the part-time job turned into a full-time job. I told myself that I would pick up where I left off in six months, then a year, then two years. I wasted the next ten years playing dance music and losing myself in the club scene.

I had no way of knowing then that twenty years after searching for a missing child’s grave in a deserted field, I would be forced to search one more time, on MySpace, for the killer of my son, David. He was stabbed to death the weekend after Father’s Day in a botched attempt to steal a laptop computer from his car.

“Leave the past behind and move forward” is good advice, but sometimes it’s beyond a person’s capability when faced with extreme circumstances. If you’ve experienced a terrible loss, you have probably faced that same dilemma. You may have felt weak because you couldn’t “get a grip” and follow this sage advice. But if life were truly as easy as following a cliché, saying a prayer, or making a New Year’s resolution, everyone alive today would be ecstatically happy.

It is easy to say in hindsight: “I should have done this, that, or another thing.” With hindsight, all the pieces of the puzzle snap neatly into place and we can see the big picture. But we don’t have that advantage when we are caught up in a tragedy that tears our emotions open or a situation that unexpectedly explodes into a sudden, full-blown crisis.

No parent should ever have to bury a child, and everything in my life changed after that. I had come to forks in the road of life before and understood their meaning; but this one was incomprehensible. I spent the next few years angry, bitter, and depressed. I lost myself in work; I’m still a workaholic. But eventually, my core beliefs in cause and effect, and that everything happens for a reason, rose from the ashes. The spiritual teachings passed on to me by the woman who rescued me from the streets when I was 17, brought me into her family, and loved me like her own son, were still ingrained in my character. Reawakening those beliefs helped me to begin the healing process and sparked a renewed sense of purpose in life.

Today, I can affirm, based on the deep conviction that comes from walking barefoot on burning coals, no matter what cards we are dealt in life, we must recover and go on. We can take a timeout to grieve, and then we need to make a conscious choice: either accept the role of victim and remain a prisoner of the past, or break out of that prison, rekindle our hope, and become the architect of a future that is like a lump of clay, waiting to be shaped by our thoughts and actions.

I have changed and learned some hard lessons. I’d like to say that I have learned every lesson life has thrown at me, and now I will devote my remaining time in this life to good thoughts and deeds. But I’m human, and like all humans, flawed. Nothing in nature is perfect, and no human being is perfect. Trying to live up to that lofty goal of perfection will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Even the most exquisite rose has blemishes, and those small defects set it apart from every other rose, making it wonderfully unique and beautiful.

As you walk your own path through life, you don’t have to be perfect. You can make mistakes–even dumb ones. Despite those mistakes and the flaws in your nature, you can still be a loving, compassionate, spiritual being. Hopefully, you will learn from your mistakes and grow to become a better person. Not perfect, but better. And when the day comes that you bid farewell to this tiny blue speck on a remote edge of the Milky Way, if you leave the world a better place than when you came into it, your life will be a success, and your spiritual destiny will be bright.

Now, what about you—do you find yourself drifting back into the past? Do you reminisce about the happy times of childhood, your adventures as a teen, or your first proud accomplishments as a young adult? Do you fondly relive your first Christmas, your first crush, your first car, or first apartment? It’s human nature to take pride in your triumphs and cherish the happy moments of your life. In fact, if you are like most people, you may spend a lot of time recalling warm memories that make you smile.

You might dwell on sad memories too: the first time a loved one passed away, the first time a parent reprimanded you. Some people live with memories of childhood abuse and other scars from long ago. Or you might drift into a sad mood remembering a best friend who moved away; your first love affair that ended on the rocks; the first job you lost. It’s natural to wonder What if? What if you had made different choices? Things might have turned out better; misfortune or failure might have been avoided.

Living in the past can be deceptively comforting. Your memories may be happier than your conditions in the present. The past is familiar and secure. It’s always there. It never changes. You can always find and relive the high points of your life when your spirits need the lift. It may be more comforting to lose yourself in the memories of times gone by than to think about what you lack in the present or what you fear in the future.

Living in the past is like an addictive drug. The more time you spend there, the more absorbed in it you become, and the more time you want to spend there. The more you dwell on memories, the more comforting they become—even the negative and unhappy ones. They’re just there. Familiar. You don’t have to do anything to hold on to them. No one can take them away.

Living in the past is not only addictive but it robs you of the present and undermines your prospects for success and happiness in the future. Imagine that you are doing sixty-five on the freeway. You avert your eyes from the road and gaze into the rear-view mirror to watch the cars behind you. You ignore the road ahead and keep looking behind you. What will happen is predictable—you’ll run off the road or crash into someone. At the least, you’ll have to pay for repairs to your car and other vehicles you might hit. At worst, you could injure or kill someone or yourself.

When you dwell on the past, you lose your focus on the present. You surrender your claim to it and let it slip away. It evaporates. The future becomes the present, and it continues to evaporate, minute by minute. You forfeit your chance to shape the future to your liking and miss opportunities because you are focused on the past and don’t see them. No thinking person would drive down the freeway gazing in their rear-view mirror. So why throw away your future as you travel the road of life because you are looking over your shoulder into the past?

Richard Alpert, a prominent Harvard psychologist from the 1960s, traveled to India and experienced a spiritual awakening while there. He returned to America calling himself Ram Dass, and he became a teacher and writer beloved by millions. One of his books, Be Here Now, helped to usher in an era of spiritual thinking in the West. The title of the book is a reference to living in the present, being focused in the here and now. When you live in the present, you realize that the past only matters for its role in shaping you into who and what you are today. You live in the moment and make the most of each passing hour of your life. Your eyes remain unwaveringly focused on the future and your spiritual destiny.

As you go through your daily life in the here and now, strive to be forward-looking and mindful of the future. Before you know it, the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday will be today. Learn from the past, live in the present, and aspire for the future. That is the one certain path to sanity, peace of mind, and happiness. If you learn nothing else from reading this book, let this be the one lesson that stays with you.

Lesson 3

Your Blueprint for Change

N