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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020
Develop balance and harmony in all areas of life through mindfulness The second edition of the Mindfulness Pocketbook: Little Exercises for a Calmer Life brings you exercises and practices to achieve greater balance and harmony in all areas of your life. You'll find new ideas for enjoying nature, being mindful at work, staying physically active, and encouraging creativity. With this book, you can discover how mindfulness opens you up to new ideas and fresh ways of doing things. You'll have a new approach to reducing stress and increasing your enjoyment. This revised edition of the bestselling Mindfulness Pocketbook shares guidance on new paths to living more harmoniously. * Be mindful in the outdoors, communing with nature * Use mindful techniques to enhance creativity * Practice mindful physical activity for a healthy body and mind * Add mindfulness to your workday The new section in this pocketbook edition encourages you to treat yourself to small pleasures, learn a new skill, and take time for relaxation and holidays. A calmer, more balanced life is closer than you think!
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Table of Contents
COVER
INTRODUCTION
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
CREATING A MINDFULNESS HABIT
BRINGING OUT YOUR CONFIDENCE
DEVELOPING YOUR ABILITY TO ‘READ’ OTHERS
KEEPING ON TOP WHEN THE PRESSURE'S ON
MANAGING A PANIC ATTACK
USING YOUR BREATH
READING POETRY
MANAGING INTERRUPTIONS
BEING SPIRITUALLY AWARE
LISTENING INSTEAD OF JUST HEARING
HAVING A BEGINNER'S MIND
SLOWING DOWN
WALKING MEDITATIONS
GAINING A SENSE OF PERSPECTIVE
FINDING A WAY TO FORGIVE
ACKNOWLEDGING AND BEING AWARE
ENGAGING WITH TREES
OPTIMISING YOUR TIME
FALLING ASLEEP
PARENTING SMALL CHILDREN
BEING GENEROUS
FOCUSING YOUR MULTI‐TASKING
TUNING IN TO YOUR INTUITION
INDULGING IN SMALL PLEASURES
ASSERTING YOURSELF AND SAYING ‘NO’
BRINGING THE OUTSIDE IN
ACCEPTING THIS IS WHAT IT IS
OVERCOMING CRAVINGS
LETTING GO OF WORRY AND ANXIETY
LAUGHING MORE
MAKING BALANCED DECISIONS
SPENDING TIME WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
HOLDING BACK FROM OVEREATING
BEING NON‐JUDGEMENTAL
DOING WORK THAT MATCHES YOUR VALUES
CONNECTING WITH ANIMALS
BUILDING YOUR COURAGE
BEING PERSUASIVE
COMMUTING; TAKING IT IN YOUR STRIDE
TAKING CONTROL OF ANGER
DEALING WITH RUDENESS
FOLLOWING A DREAM
UNDERSTANDING WHERE YOUR FOOD COMES FROM
WALKING MINDFULLY
UNDERSTANDING THAT ALL THINGS COME AND GO
SWITCHING OFF THE ENGINE OF YOUR MIND
BUILDING UP YOUR WILLPOWER
PRACTISING COMPASSION
MEETING DEADLINES
TAKING PHOTOS
HAVING PATIENCE IN THE UNFOLDING OF EVENTS
MANAGING DISTRACTIONS
BEING THANKFUL
GIVING COMPLIMENTS
COOKING AND CONNECTING WITH FOOD
MANAGING MOMENTS OF LONELINESS
SINGING YOUR HEART OUT
PERFORMING SPONTANEOUS ACTS OF KINDNESS
FOCUSING AND ENGAGING YOUR ATTENTION
MANAGING CHANGE
KNOWING WHEN TO START OVER
CONCLUSION
MORE MINDFUL QUOTES AND SAYINGS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ALSO BY GILL HASSON
Pocketbook Series:
In Paperback:
In Hardback:
END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT
Guide
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Table of Contents
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MINDFULNESS POCKETBOOK
LITTLE EXERCISES FOR A CALMER LIFE
SECOND EDITION
Gill Hasson
This edition first published 2020
© 2020 by Gill Hasson.
First edition published 2015 by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd
Registered office
John Wiley & Sons Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, United Kingdom
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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data
Names: Hasson, Gill, author.
Title: Mindfulness pocketbook : little exercises for a calmer life / Gill Hasson.
Description: Second edition. | Hoboken : Wiley‐Capstone, 2020.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020022846 (print) | LCCN 2020022847 (ebook) | ISBN 9780857088727 (paperback) | ISBN 9780857088734 (ebk) | ISBN 9780857088666 (ebk)
Subjects: LCSH: Stress management. | Mind and body.
Classification: LCC RA785 .H377 2020 (print) | LCC RA785 (ebook) | DDC 613—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020022846
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020022847
Cover Design: Wiley
Daniel; this one is just for you!
INTRODUCTION
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
– Annie Dillard
What is it with mindfulness? Why is there such interest, such a buzz, around mindfulness?
Too often, life zips by. There's no time to experience what's happening now, because you're busy thinking about what needs doing tomorrow or you're caught up with thoughts about what did or didn't happen yesterday; your mind is chattering with commentary or judgement.
But thinking is not the enemy; it's essential to your life; your mind is able to think back and reflect on past events and experiences and learn from those experiences, and you can reflect with pleasure on the good times. Your mind can also think about the future; it can plan ahead and look forward to forthcoming events.
This ability to think back to the past and forward to the future is not, though, always a blessing. Your mind's ability to project backwards and forwards means that you can get stuck in the past, going back over and dwelling on events. You can also be paralysed by worries and anxiety about the future.
Mindfulness is a way to have a more helpful relationship with this thinking; to recognise when your thoughts are being unhelpfully dragged back to the past or catapulted into the future. Mindfulness is about knowing where you are (being in the moment) but also having an awareness of – but not getting stuck in – where you have been (reflection) and where you are going (anticipating).
But how can mindfulness be helpful in your everyday life — as you go to and from work, in your job, with your family and friends, with cooking and eating and even sleeping?
Many of us work in a fast paced, stressful world; dealing with the flood of information including email, meetings, text messages, phone calls, interruptions, and distractions at work. Family life can also be fast paced and stressful; managing a job and a home and the variety of demands as you try to meet everyone's needs and your own commitments. Thinking about what needs doing and what you didn't do; getting frustrated, stressed, and anxious.
Unfortunately a good part of our time passes that way for most of us. We're in one place doing one thing but thinking of things we aren't doing and places we aren't at.
It's easy to stop noticing what's really going on within you and around you, your surroundings and other people, and to end up living in your head — caught up in your thoughts without being aware of how those thoughts are controlling what you feel and do. It's easy to waste ‘now’ time, missing what is happening in the only moment that really exists.
Mindfulness enables you to experience and appreciate your life instead of rushing through it, constantly trying to be somewhere else. Mindfulness is not another set of instructions. Mindfulness is simply a shift in your awareness of your life — your routines and habits, work and relationships.
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
– Arthur Ashe
If you can be present and in the moment sitting in a quiet room, then why not when you're eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, travelling to and from your job, at work, working at the computer, or in your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues?
There are many ways in which you can practise mindfulness and many ways in which you can anchor yourself to any given moment.
Throughout this book you will come across six recurring themes:
Mindful practice
Mindful work
Mindful body and mind
Mindful enjoyment
Mindful relationships
Mindful eating.
Within each theme you'll find a particular situation or circumstance where mindfulness is helpful and where there are opportunities to be mindful. Alongside this, you will find practical ways — ideas, tips, techniques, and suggestions — to be mindful and use mindfulness.
You'll see that the aspects and qualities of mindfulness — awareness, acknowledgement and acceptance, focus and engagement, beginner's mind, letting go and being non‐judgemental — are both separate themes with their own pages, as well as being principles that appear throughout this book. Each time you apply these principles, each time you apply an aspect of mindfulness, you are learning how to relate more directly to your life.
Whether you need tips, techniques, ideas, and suggestions, or just a simple quote to inspire you, this book will help. Keep it in your bag or your pocket to inspire you whenever or wherever mindfulness can help slow things down, provide perspective and a sense of calm control in the moment and moments of your life.
A note about the second edition of the Mindfulness Pocketbook
Much of the focus on mindfulness has been on mindfulness for managing difficulties. And why not? Few things help one deal better with the stresses and strains of everyday life. But there is more to mindfulness than that. Mindfulness encourages and enhances the enjoyable things in life.
This, the second edition of the Mindfulness Pocketbook, includes 12 new chapters where the emphasis is on mindful ways to experience and enjoy more of the good things in life.
Along with the extra mindfulness quotes at the end of the book, I do hope the new chapters further encourage and inspire you.
CREATING A MINDFULNESS HABIT
Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.
– Horace Mann
It isn't necessary to be mindful in all your waking hours, but unless you make a concerted effort to be mindful on a daily basis, it's easy to get distracted by a myriad of things that divert your attention through the day.
Occasional attempts at ‘being in the moment’ or to ‘notice the little things more’ and ‘live in the now’ are well‐meaning but unhelpful habits; distractions and preoccupations take over and resolutions to be more mindful fall by the wayside.
What to do? You need to make mindfulness a habit; make mindfulness something that you do on a regular basis until it becomes your normal, everyday practice.
Your mind is able to do this!
Establishing new ways of thinking and doing is not difficult provided the new ways are constantly repeated. How come? When you think or do something in a new way, you create new connections or ‘neural pathways’ in your brain. Then, every time you repeat that thought or action, every time you continue using these new pathways, they become stronger and more established.
It's like walking through a field of long grass – each step helps to create a new path and every time you walk that new path you establish a clear route which becomes easier to use each time. It becomes a habit to use that route.
Since your distracted and preoccupied mind isn't going to remind you to be mindful, you need something else to remind you.
The hard must become habit. The habit must become easy. The easy must become beautiful.
– Doug Henning
Set a timer on your phone (with a soothing tone) to remind you to be mindful at random times of your day. A ‘Mindfulness Bell’ app is useful here. It rings periodically during the day to give you the opportunity to pause for a moment and consider where you are and what you are doing and what you are thinking.
Write notes saying: ‘Be mindful’. Write them on self‐sticking notes and place them on the wall above your desk or on the fridge to remind you to do things differently.
Decide to do things differently to experience different results. Make a mindfulness date with yourself; a time in your day when you do something specifically devoted to mindfulness. It could be taking a short walk, eating a quiet meal, drinking a cup of tea, and so on.
Commit to being mindful every time you open a door. When you open a door, drop what's in your mind (you can pick it up again shortly) and instead, watch your hand push the door or grasp the doorknob. Open the door with purpose and patience. Feel its weight and whether it opens easily. Take in the new scene that's revealed. Smell the air and notice any change in temperature of the outside space or room you are entering. Listen to the sound of the space you've just left, give way to the room or space you've just entered.
It's a small commitment; maybe five seconds at a time, a handful of times a day.
Just be sure that when you open a door, you open the door. You're going to do it anyway. Make it an opportunity to be present.
BRINGING OUT YOUR CONFIDENCE
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
– Denis Waitley
Do you feel that life would improve for you if you had more self‐confidence?
When faced with a new challenge or opportunity, are you filled with self‐doubt? Do you say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do this', or ‘I’m not good enough', or ‘I can’t'.
Self‐confidence is not about what you can or can't do; it's what you believe you can or can't do.
If, in the past, you've failed or not coped well with a particular situation, you may well believe that you will fail or struggle the next time. You won't feel confident about doing it again.
And if you've now got something you have to do, something new that you've never done before, you may believe you won't be able to do it. You won't feel confident about your ability to do it. So if you lack self‐confidence, you'll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself and probably not try at all.
You'll talk yourself out of it with negative self‐talk, telling yourself that you can't or won't be able to do something. You make yourself believe that you can't do certain things. (Negative self‐talk also knocks your self‐esteem, making you feel bad about yourself.)
Instead of letting past experience or future possibilities paralyse you, mindfulness can help you be aware of these judgmental thoughts and how unhelpful they are.
Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.
– Author unknown
Get yourself into a positive mindset. Remind yourself of the things that you do well; activities where you feel a sense of control; no fear of failure or feeling of self‐consciousness. You know what you're doing and where you're heading; you feel confident in your abilities.
When you find yourself basing your beliefs about your abilities on what happened in the past, start again. Take a ‘beginner’s mind' approach – put the past judgements and conclusions aside and instead, think about what you've learned from these experiences. You can't change what happened last time you did something, but you can change what happens next time. Identify new insights that could help you do things differently, next time.
Make a plan. If you're faced with a new challenge or situation; something you've never done before, think through what steps you can take to manage potential difficulties. Make a plan.
Know that when you stop giving the situation any more unhelpful thoughts – thoughts based on the past and the future – you will have taken the first step towards moving ahead with confidence.
Use mindfulness to catch yourself when you think ‘I can’t do this'. There's no need to judge yourself for having unhelpful thoughts, just notice and make a different choice; choose to think ‘I can do this. I’ve thought it through. I have a plan.'
DEVELOPING YOUR ABILITY TO ‘READ’ OTHERS
The face is more honest than the mouth will ever be.
– Daphne Orebaugh
How good are you at mind reading? How good are you at knowing what someone is thinking or feeling without them having to tell you? You're probably pretty good at it. You can get better.
When you observe a person's body language, you can see what they are feeling and thinking as they feel and think it. If for example you see their face is contorted and they are banging their fist on the table, you know that person is angry.
Facial expressions, posture, touch, etc are all emotionally driven and can clue you into a person's true feelings and intentions in any one moment. Every shift in a person's inner emotions is communicated through their non‐verbal behaviour and it happens in the present.
However, not all emotions are as obvious and easy to read as anger or joy. Disappointment, for example, is expressed in far more subtle ways than anger. It's not so easy to read what's going on.
Many emotions occur fleetingly – they happen in the moment – so you need to pay attention. By mindfully observing people as they communicate you are more likely to notice those subtle fleeting cues as they happen; you can get a real insight into what's going on for that person, in that moment.
